Latest / Daily Influence / 729. From Survival Mode to Self-Worth: Dr. Andrea Hogan on Boundaries, Healing & Rewriting Your Story

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729. From Survival Mode to Self-Worth: Dr. Andrea Hogan on Boundaries, Healing & Rewriting Your Story · Daily Influence

0:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Daily Influence, your daily dose of positive influence.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Brian Smith founder of IA Business Advisors and co-author of the Iain team series.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Each day we share stories and insights to help you find be and build your influence in a positive and responsible way.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm Greg Clino, partner at IE Business Advisors, and co-host of Daily Influence.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Be sure to follow, subscribe, and share Daily Influence with someone who could use a little extra positivity today.
0:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And make us part of your Daily routine, whether it's during your commute, on a walk, or an quiet moment just for you, because you're influenced matters.
0:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Daily Influence, I'm Greg Lino.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Today's guest brings a powerful refreshing perspective on how we show up in our lives, our leadership, and our relationships.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Dr. Andrea Hogan, also known as the golfing professor, has spent over 15 years teaching psychology.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But what sets her apart is how she translates those concepts into real everyday application.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Her work focuses on helping people, especially women navigating major life transitions, take what they're learning about things like boundaries, identity, and emotional regulation, and actually live it out when life gets difficult.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Lending science with personal experience, Andrew's message is both honest and empowering.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You're not broken.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You're capable of rewriting your story.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Andrea, welcome to daily influence.
1:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Hi, I'm so excited to be here.
1:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Thanks for having
1:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Andrew, you spent years teaching psychology, but you've also lived through many of the concepts you teach.
1:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you share a bit about your journey and what ultimately led you to focus on helping people apply psychology in real life and not just understanding it?
1:57
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm going to back up and say, I teach general psychology.
2:00
[SPEAKER_02]: That's my main gig.
2:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I teach general IT child development and personality as well, but mostly I'm teaching general psychology to incoming freshmen.
2:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And I start every semester by saying psychology is the way we think, we feel in behavior.
2:15
[SPEAKER_02]: But a lot of times those three things don't interact right like how I think is actually not how I'm behaving or how I'm behaving is not how I'm feeling right and so I think where the magic lies is to try to combine those three things and have them at least.
2:31
[SPEAKER_02]: to the extent that you can be the most aligned.
2:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And while I was teaching those concepts, I was really living in a way that they weren't aligned, right?
2:40
[SPEAKER_02]: So I was teaching these concepts, but not doing that in my personal life.
2:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And it really took a huge aha moment, a moment of crisis to actually take a step back and say, okay, how can I make these three things being in alignment in my personal life?
2:54
[SPEAKER_01]: That idea of application versus information is so powerful.
3:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they say, I mean, with anything like diet and exercise, they say that, you know, the advice is easy, but doing it is hard.
3:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think it's the same thing.
3:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And I really believe that mental fitness is just as important as physical fitness, like those two go hand in hand, like if you're not mentally well, you're probably not physically well, if you're not physically well, if you're not physically well, you're probably not mentally well, right?
3:21
[SPEAKER_02]: There's insight, college, we teach about the six dimensions of wellness.
3:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So not just physical mental, but spiritual, social, occupational, right?
3:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that, and now I really strive to have balance in all those areas, but for many many years, I was living an unbalanced life, like I'm a mom of two kids, and there were years where my life was just about motherhood.
3:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I, I would go through the motions of teaching, right?
3:46
[SPEAKER_02]: But I had the same syllabus for years.
3:49
[SPEAKER_02]: My focus was Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, and when I finally got to the point where separation happened, and I couldn't be
3:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, who's the Andrea because for years, I forgot who she was and then Honestly as devastating as it was I got the true gift of learning who I was and learning to fall in love with myself again Which is a work and process like every day, but you know, I've tried to change my perspective in
4:18
[SPEAKER_02]: not saying that was taken away from me, but this new thing was given to me, right?
4:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Because it's about reframing your reality.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Your reality stays the same, but how you think and go through it, that's something that you are in charge of.
4:30
[SPEAKER_01]: So do you have any tips for our listeners on how to accomplish that?
4:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think first, first you have to, I was actually on a podcast a couple of weeks ago, chapter podcast and her name is Andrea as well.
4:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And we were talking about how she used to teach her preschool students to name it to team it.
4:47
[SPEAKER_02]: First you have to take an honest look, like an honest assessment of where you are in life.
4:52
[SPEAKER_02]: One of the things I give my students is a behavioral modification plan.
4:57
[SPEAKER_02]: So they basically have to take an honest assessment of what are five things I either want to add to my life or take away from my life.
5:03
[SPEAKER_02]: and I always like be honest like if you're drinking too much tell me if you scroll on social media too much tell me or if you don't sip water at all tell me you know like what are the five things that you think would improve your health or that because we always have those whispers you are always know it and it could be honest
5:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, I've had big things too.
5:19
[SPEAKER_02]: It could be like, oh, I know I need to read this marriage.
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[SPEAKER_02]: There's science here, and I'm ignoring them.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm pushing them down, or I know I need to do this.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, your gut will normally, you normally, if you really sit down and say it, but you're afraid to say it, you're afraid to write it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So first things first, you got a name it to tame it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's what she tells her preschool students.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So name it to tame it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That means writing it down, making that, not even making a plan.
5:42
[SPEAKER_02]: but being brave enough to acknowledge what it is in your life that you either need to add or let go of, right?
5:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Because it's not always about letting go.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes it's about letting in things too.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I think that's just as important.
5:55
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's the first thing is just name it to team it and then actually make a plan and then try your very best to stick to it.
6:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's the hard part is people make the plan and then, you know, it's like the Monday motivation thing.
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[SPEAKER_02]: They start out strong and it's like, oh, I'll just do it next week.
6:09
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's okay to fail.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I think mistakes are data that we can understand how to then improve, right?
6:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, the biggest thing is name it to team it.
6:19
[SPEAKER_02]: That's, don't be afraid of what your intuition is telling you.
6:23
[SPEAKER_01]: that's great advice and you know we often don't forget information.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We forget how to use it when life gets hard.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Can you share a moment where you saw someone truly apply what they learn and create a positive shift in their life?
6:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah I see all the time so one of the things I and I'm in trauma recovery so even though I'm personally a psychology professor I do research I've never never been on the clinical side that's my profession personally I've done a lot.
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[SPEAKER_02]: of trouble recovery.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I've done a lot of therapy, you know, CBT and EDMR and all the things.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And one of the things I found in my recovery journey is golf, which I know is random.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's why I'm the golfing professor, but I really had this moment where especially when I was it with my kids, like, what am I going to do?
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's a healthy.
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[SPEAKER_02]: coping mechanism because we have maladaptive coping mechanisms to stress, you know, drinking, sexual behavior, eating too much depression, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Those are all unhealthy coping mechanisms, but then there's healthy ones.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so one of the ones that I found was golf.
7:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And so that's why I bring in to myself the golfing professor and I see psychology show up all the time on the golf course.
7:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I talked to my friends all the time about have a growth mindset.
7:36
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not that you can't get out of the sand track now.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You just can't get out.
7:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, right?
7:40
[SPEAKER_02]: You mean we're practiced.
7:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So I would say the place right now in my life that I'm seeing these concepts up in the real time is on the golf course.
7:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And golf is just a great metaphor for psychology, honestly.
7:51
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a great example.
7:52
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, thank you for sharing that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm a golfer too.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I can definitely see how that can apply to it.
7:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
8:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I love the game.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's so fun.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And it's I think it's like the great equalizer.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like it doesn't matter if you're five or for your 75 you can play.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I've played with people in rip jeans, you know, at a 12 dollar nine home municipal course and I played with billionaires at fancy country clubs like.
8:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's the game is humbling regardless of where you are, right?
8:20
[SPEAKER_02]: And we all have to start at the T-Box.
8:22
[SPEAKER_02]: We all have to try to get to the whole.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You have to reset your mind.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You can't blame the lie.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You have to adjust your shot.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I think there's so many wonderful lessons that you can learn from that great game of golf.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Any tips on how to do with your mind in those situations?
8:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Just take your breath and breathe.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, honestly, I feel like I have to do that to sometimes.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'll get so in my head, like, you know, this is a terrible lie and why did it land here.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But then, you know, I'll take a deep breath and say, I have the chance to adjust my swing, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'm getting a neck shot at this.
8:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that we should always be looking at what is our neck shot.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you might have fumbled or you might have had a great shot.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You should appreciate the great ones too.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's why I keep on coming back because if I was constantly terrible, I would give it up.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But those shots every once in a while, they get you coming back for more.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But breathing, and that's the same thing I tell my kids, like, I'm a Girl Scout leader, and one of the things that I've taught my Girl Scouts is really it's box breath, but how we do it is smell of flower, blow a balloon, so it's smell of flower, blow a balloon.
9:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes I like put that in my mind before I take a swing, not just in the golf course, but but in life, like it's okay to take a pause.
9:40
[SPEAKER_02]: This semester I'm teaching graduates or students who are about to graduate and they're about to go into the interview process and I tell them that like there's nothing wrong with the pregnant pots.
9:49
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't always have to be going going going, you can take a step back, you can breathe, you can thank you can reset and then you can move forward.
9:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's great advice.
9:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for sharing that.
10:00
[SPEAKER_01]: For more responsible influence perspective, how can someone recognize when they're operating in survival mode versus intentionally choosing growth?
10:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And what's one small step they can take to shift that?
10:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, again, name it to team it.
10:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think I think that we always know, right?
10:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you have that knowing.
10:19
[SPEAKER_02]: You have those whispers.
10:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's being brave enough to speak out about it and to seek help.
10:25
[SPEAKER_02]: One of the things I'm grateful for as a mom and also as a psychology professor who's helping Gen Z go into this next generation is I think her stigma on mental health is starting to lessen, you know, I think that there is still some some things there, but I think the more that we can talk about it and tell stories about it and not be ashamed of mental health journeys.
10:53
[SPEAKER_02]: They asked me, it was a random question.
10:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it was, why do you think autism is on the rise right now?
10:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And I had said from a psychology professor, CM point, I'm going to say that I don't necessarily think it's on the rise.
11:05
[SPEAKER_02]: I think we're just naming it more now right now we have a system where they assess people when they go to school.
11:10
[SPEAKER_02]: That wasn't in place 20 years ago, you know, my mom had a weird uncle who used to count toothpicks.
11:16
[SPEAKER_02]: He probably had autism, but that wasn't a name, like we didn't have a label for it, right?
11:20
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think it's the same thing with a lot of things in mental health, like for example, I had postpartum anxiety with my daughter and they would just call that the baby blues 30 years ago.
11:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Now we know there's something more to it and now we know it's okay to speak up.
11:34
[SPEAKER_02]: It's okay not to be ashamed of seeking help for that.
11:37
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I had to go on at SSRI at that time to help me get out of that time of my life out of that postpartum period and then I had my son didn't experience the same thing, right?
11:56
[SPEAKER_01]: For our listeners who may feel overwhelmed or stuck, can you walk us through a simple framework or habit?
12:02
[SPEAKER_01]: You recommend for regulating emotions and making better decisions in the moment.
12:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm going to be very frank and tell you I'm very bad at this personally.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I am the master of overreactions.
12:14
[SPEAKER_02]: This is actually something that I,
12:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I talk a lot about with my therapist, you know, I teach one thing and I have my reactions are different and I'm I'm I share about this very openly I left a domestically abused at marriage so my husband unfortunately was domestically abused me for years and it took me and I'm a psychology professor and it took me years and years and years of excusing his bad behavior of thinking that it was my fault because when you're in that situation your condition right and so when I finally got out of it.
12:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I would go to my therapist and I'm like, well, he's right because I do react like this, you know, and this is we call this reactive abuse and psychology.
12:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So what happens is, you know, your boundaries violated your boundaries violated and you stack this up and you keep it in and then all of a sudden any explode, like my reaction would be huge because I am a type A person.
13:05
[SPEAKER_02]: I have a big personality and that comes out.
13:07
[SPEAKER_02]: in great ways and that comes out and it's not so great ways, right?
13:11
[SPEAKER_02]: And so then I would have these huge reactions to his bad behavior, his cheating, his betrayals, his whatever.
13:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And then the thing became about my reaction, not his bad behavior.
13:21
[SPEAKER_02]: So I was always the one to blame, right?
13:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And so one of the things I work on in my personal recovery journey is
13:29
[SPEAKER_02]: not reacting magnetomously, but still reacting because we never want to push it aside and that's a very delicate balance.
13:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you always want to call out behavior, you always want to have healthy boundaries, but if you go too big with it, then our society you become the problem, right?
13:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So we have to have,
13:49
[SPEAKER_02]: reactions that acknowledge, you know, a bad behavior abuse, whatever it is, something bad happens like we never want to push it to decide, we also just need to not be so big with our reactions.
14:01
[SPEAKER_02]: So like one of the things that really helps me is writing, you know, I journal every day, I write a lot, I write a lot of articles on substack.
14:09
[SPEAKER_02]: If you read my sub-stack, it really is about domestic abuse awareness.
14:13
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a lot about coercive control.
14:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And a lot of the times I've sat down and wrote those articles because, if not, I was going to, you know, explode at my touch suspend.
14:22
[SPEAKER_02]: So, like, the writing has become a really good release for me.
14:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and I think,
14:27
[SPEAKER_02]: talking to a friend coming down, you know, because calling someone's support is so important, especially in our digitalized society today, right?
14:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Like having a social circle really makes a difference, having someone that's willing to hold your pain with you, because you don't want just superficial friends, you want people that you are going to talk about the real stuff with, and that's magical when you have that in your life.
14:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's incredibly helpful and something people can start using today.
14:56
[SPEAKER_01]: You speak very openly about healing while still functioning, leading while curing invisible wounds.
15:03
[SPEAKER_01]: What have been some of the hardest lessons you've learned in that process and how would they shape the way you show up for others.
15:11
[SPEAKER_02]: giving people grace and compassion.
15:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So, and also giving yourself grace and compassion, because that I was actually, I have to tell you that I've been in my life pretty good at assuming the best and other people, because I am a psychology professor and one of the things I teach is the fundamental attribution error.
15:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And for those who don't know what that is, that's especially in Western cultures.
15:32
[SPEAKER_02]: That is our tendency to assume the worst out of a person.
15:35
[SPEAKER_02]: So the example I use in a using class is someone cuts you off in traffic and you think, oh, they're a bad driver.
15:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, they're a bad person.
15:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Like,
15:43
[SPEAKER_02]: what a terrible move.
15:45
[SPEAKER_02]: But we don't know what's going on.
15:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe they're going to visit their dying grandmother and they need to get there.
15:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe their spouse is pregnant and they need to get to the hospital.
15:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe it was on a mistake, right?
15:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And so we call the attribution error our tendency to view something as it's the worst in person.
16:01
[SPEAKER_02]: the worse in a person like for example on the golf course it might show up as someone with it and I'm like they're a terrible golfer not they're having a bad day this is so I think that comes down to giving people grace which we need to not only give to other people but we need to give to ourselves and that in my recovery journey was the hardest thing because
16:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, deep programming from domestic abuse, you are conditioned to think everything is your fault.
16:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Every time my reaction was the fault, I believed it.
16:28
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I believed all the terrible things about me.
16:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I thought I was ugly.
16:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I thought, you know, I didn't do enough.
16:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I every horrible thing he said about me, I was in such a place where I believed it.
16:39
[SPEAKER_02]: So to allow myself grace and also the gift of
16:46
[SPEAKER_02]: loving myself again.
16:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I've seen myself in a, in a positive way.
16:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And so many people think that's, you know, like having a full self worth or, you know, being conceited, but honestly, that's a good thing.
16:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Like we should all love ourselves.
16:59
[SPEAKER_02]: We should all admire the parts that we think are good in us.
17:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I think giving yourself grace that to love yourself and also it's okay to make mistakes.
17:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I look back at those worst moments of my life.
17:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And I've had a lot of them.
17:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I've had a lot of overreactions and
17:14
[SPEAKER_02]: They're learning opportunities.
17:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'm not ashamed of them.
17:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that's what makes us human.
17:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's so much depth in that.
17:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think it resonates with so many people who are navigating challenges.
17:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's important to give yourself grace and to give other people grace to.
17:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
17:30
[SPEAKER_01]: If you will go back and speak to your younger self at a pivotal moment, what would you tell her and how can our listeners apply that advice in their lives right now?
17:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, Matt, this is so funny because I just did that so I'm like I said I'm personally in therapy and I was just doing a EDMR session, which those of you who don't know what that is, it's like rapid eye movement to not replace traumatic events, but to
17:57
[SPEAKER_02]: move through them.
17:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's not somewhere that you're stuck, right?
18:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And there was a scene that I was going through in my therapist where I was 16 years old.
18:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I literally just did this exercise last week.
18:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And in my head and in the therapy process, I was going to the 16, you know, like you're going to be okay.
18:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Like everything's going to work out.
18:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Everything's going to happen for a reason.
18:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think
18:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And I hope because I'm 43 now right I hope 60 five year old Andrea can look back at this moment because I'm still very much in the thick of it like I'm in the terrible divorce family court case, you know, trying to navigate who gets what with the finances.
18:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm still very much in the thick of it and I hope that 20 30 years from now I can look back at middle age Andrea and say,
18:49
[SPEAKER_02]: To do that, we have to radically accept where we are, right?
18:52
[SPEAKER_02]: We can't push things aside.
18:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Like so much of me this past year has been focused on, but I deserve this because I built this business and why are you doing this to me?
19:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And there's a point where I'm never gonna understand that.
19:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't want to understand what my ex is doing to me.
19:06
[SPEAKER_02]: He's an narcissist, right?
19:07
[SPEAKER_02]: He's domestically abused.
19:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I hope I never understand why someone else hurts somebody other than me.
19:13
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, like that's just not something I want to understand right, but I also had to get to the place where I, I said, I will never understand this.
19:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I also accept that this is the situation.
19:22
[SPEAKER_02]: What can I do to move forward.
19:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's a harder place to get because we spend a lot of time, especially when you're in trauma, going through the grief process, right, for those of you know, Elizabeth Kuros, the five stages of grief, it's, you know, bargaining denial, anger and it takes a while to get to accept it.
19:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
19:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And you have to move through everything else to get there.
19:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And the best thing you could do is move through those emotions.
19:47
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to feel them in order to to be able to get to the point where you accept any move on.
19:52
[SPEAKER_01]: That is so powerful and also reminder that growth is always available to us.
19:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're so kind of fails sometimes.
20:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, like I said, I believe in celebrating mistakes.
20:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, we should start, if you know you have a bad behavior, you want to stop, but also give yourself grace.
20:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you're going to screw up sometimes.
20:10
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why people have cheat days and die.
20:12
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
20:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it's okay to make a mistake and learn from that.
20:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
20:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I think mistakes or failures or blessings.
20:19
[SPEAKER_01]: How do we grow as a human if we don't have them?
20:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
20:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
20:23
[SPEAKER_01]: For someone listening today who feels stuck overwhelmed or unsure of how to move forward, what's one specific action they can take in the next 24 hours to start rewriting their story.
20:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, as, again, the first thing is name it to Tema.
20:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I just love that same so much because you have to be honest with yourself.
20:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think, um, taking one small step.
20:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes people think you have to do it all at once.
20:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And I've been guilty of this too.
20:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I'll say, I'm going to do a 21 day fix for my mental and physical health.
20:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm going to track my macros.
20:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll juice on Monday, uh, you know, get up.
20:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll journal, I'll do my Wim Hof breathing.
20:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And I like put it all like in once.
21:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes maybe it's just getting up and doing that meditation.
21:04
[SPEAKER_02]: are getting up and journaling or adding one more self-care thing at night.
21:09
[SPEAKER_02]: If you want to wash your face, making sure you do your skincare at night.
21:13
[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't have to be everything all once.
21:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure, I'd love to do all of those things in a perfect day and there's days when I...
21:20
[SPEAKER_02]: go through my daily health checklist and I get there.
21:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And there's days that I fall asleep with makeup on, right?
21:26
[SPEAKER_02]: But I think if you are doing one more thing to add to your life, but good, then you're doing fine.
21:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, don't think it has to be all or nothing.
21:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that's where we get to cut up and if I didn't do all of it, then I should do nothing.
21:41
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, just do it little by little by little, right?
21:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that's important.
21:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Andrea, that is such great advice.
21:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for sharing your story and your perspective today.
21:51
[SPEAKER_01]: What stands out to me is a reminder that influence starts within how we think, how we respond, and how we choose to show up, especially when life gets hard.
22:03
[SPEAKER_01]: If our listeners want to get in touch with you, what is the best way to do so?
22:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm on all social media platforms at this point.
22:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I wrote my memoir.
22:10
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not published yet.
22:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm shopping literary agents, which I just found out in today's society.
22:16
[SPEAKER_02]: If you want to write a book, you have to have a social media following.
22:19
[SPEAKER_02]: So I just actually put myself out there in January.
22:22
[SPEAKER_02]: So this is now in month four of being a public figure.
22:26
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm the golfing professor.
22:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm on YouTube.
22:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm on sub-stack.
22:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I do the articles on sub-stack.
22:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm on TikTok, Instagram, and a lot of my content is I share micro-lectures of psychology from the golf course.
22:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you want to see beautiful golf courses in Arizona and you want to learn a tad bit about some of the concepts I spoke about today or I teach in my classes and you should definitely follow me.
22:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and then look out hopefully someday I get that book published.
22:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I actually just wrote a children's book.
22:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I have it there too.
22:56
[SPEAKER_02]: lucky line that's available on Amazon and it's all about moving through rough feelings.
23:01
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's a good one.
23:02
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not great.
23:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
23:04
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll put this information as shown out.
23:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Andrea, thank you for joining us and sharing your stories and advice.
23:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I love it.
23:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for having me.
23:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And to our listeners, thank you for joining us on today's daily influence.
23:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope today's conversation brought you insight and inspiration.
23:21
[SPEAKER_01]: If it's spoke to you, please share it with someone who could use a little positivity today.
23:25
[SPEAKER_01]: The challenge is simple.
23:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Take one of the ideas from today's conversation and put it into action, because influence isn't something we wait for.
23:34
[SPEAKER_01]: It's something we practice one decision at a time.
23:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Remember, small actions create big impact.
23:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Keep showing up.
23:41
[SPEAKER_01]: leading and growing one day to time.
23:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, stay inspired and keep having a positive responsible influence.
23:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Bye-bye.