Latest / From 9 to Mom / sports moms

Transcript

sports moms · From 9 to Mom

• Catie Fitzgerald: Welcome back to From Nine to Mom. Danielle: where we discuss balancing the nine to five hustle with the beautiful chaos that we call motherhood. And today is Catie's birthday. Happy birthday, Catie Catie Fitzgerald: Thanks. 30 again. It's so f- Danielle: Yeah, we argued about Catie's age because she's like, I'm entering my mid She hasn't even hit 35 yet. So that's not your mid 30s. Catie Fitzgerald: But like it's the middle of your thirties. Like I'm in the middle section. I'm no longer like, can I still say early thirties? I'm not early thirties anymore. Danielle: And thank you. totally be staying early 30s if I were you until next year then your mid 30s until we're 39 and then it's your late 30s. Catie Fitzgerald: Me and one of my friends, were, then I can say, so we were talking about it over the weekend with one of our friends and he's the only other one that's 34 with me. ⁓ the two oldest of like everyone we know. So we're like, we're just the old folks our group. yeah, little mid-week birthday Danielle: for babe. Catie Fitzgerald: you're literally mad that I'm not like doing something ⁓ super special for birthday, but you know, we're doing doing what we want. What I like, you know, what I want to do. I didn't go to I didn't go to the office. I wanted to work at home. I'm going to go get lunch. I'm going to have afternoon diet coke. Like it's going to be great. Danielle: And that's what's important, what you like to do, you know? ⁓ It's going to be everything you dreamed of and more. I'm so glad. I'm so glad for you because you got to celebrate somehow. And I think that one of the things I'm doing tonight, if we transition into our topic today, is I have to get Colton at 430 to take him to School of Rock. Just another activity that begins before the workday ends that somebody has to gather children to. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah, I feel like the first time I booked like a program for Jack likes like soccer I was like, why does it start at 415? I don't understand. Danielle: Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. And guys, this is what we're going to talk about today. Like kids activities as working moms, we're going to talk about all the things, but the first part is this 4pm, sometimes 3.30pm, probably Kelvin's age problem where all the kids activities are during the work day. So Daisy has dance at 10.30 on Wednesdays. My mom has to take her every week. What if I didn't have her to do that? Catie Fitzgerald: Yes. most of it does or you feel because you're leaving to go do that in the middle. Like and so it's like how do you you know get around it. But like at this point ⁓ I it's just ⁓ it's so hard there's many things you could do with them first of all. But when they're really little so like I don't know by you like what ⁓ what the first thing is like here the thing is like soccer. ⁓ Danielle: Yes, either way. us too, soccer cats. Catie Fitzgerald: I guess that's not true. Like outside of like to like the activities at the library and like Danielle: Yeah, like lunch, the free reading things and stuff like that. The first sport is always soccer and then t-ball very closely thereafter, soccer t-ball. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah, do those count? don't Sport. Yes. Yeah, so T-ball here starts at like just over four. And I don't, you didn't really, well, you get like a different version of this. For us last summer, like all the kids going into pre-K could do T-ball, but Jack was not four yet. So he wasn't eligible last year. So this is gonna be his first year. And most of the kids in his like, grade level of that have already all played a year. So Jack doesn't even qualify for the first level. He's actually already in the 6U T-ball because of where his birthday falls. He can't go and do the other one now because then he'll be playing with all the kids younger than him because we sent him just Danielle: Yeah, they let Colton at 3. Big mistake, we'll talk about that later. It was not great. yeah, like, it was that great. But for Colton, it started at 3.30. 3.30 on Wednesdays. I worked till 5.00, 6.00, Jordan works till 5.00, 6.00. Who, how was this happening? Catie Fitzgerald: Right? Right? Like at what point do you want to put them in stuff? But like the soccer is really cute little, like if we could, if we could encourage. How are you? Yeah, who's doing these? And then it's like, I get that there's other programs for homeschool kids in that, because I see the Place By Us has homeschool programs throughout the day, which is great, but it's like, our are ⁓ at during the day or whichever it is, so it's hard to make any of the additional times. But yeah, it doesn't make sense logistically, but then you... I understand from like the programming aspect of the other stuff because all the older kids sports is later at night because they are at school till later and then their school sports and then there's additional activities. It's just, it's really hard. then, ⁓ you know, Danielle: Yep. In your house, you guys split it though, right? Like, or you go together. Like that's one of the things who in your house is more in charge of the extracurricular activities. Catie Fitzgerald: guess it's hard because I plan everything. But ⁓ summer, our, well, we've been doing through the winter is we only did soccer through the winter because obviously you don't have anywhere else to go. ⁓ And ⁓ I the kids ⁓ back back because they're not in the same program. Next year they can be in the same program, which is scary, but they ⁓ go to back. So Calvin's like the first hour, Jack's the second hour. So we just have one night that we're there for two hours and that's it. going into the summer, Kelvin will keep doing the indoor soccer because that's all he's eligible for. ⁓ And then Jack will do the, he's outdoor soccer two nights a week and then tee ball two nights a week. I didn't realize. Danielle: Yeah. Four nights a week? He's under six, Catie. Are you prepared for this? What is wrong with you? Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. I'm prepared for this. Well, so I signed them. didn't know to be fair. I didn't know that it was two nights a week for both things. Like I didn't realize there was a practice day and a play like a game day. So like didn't know. No, I'm going to I mean, me and Ryan were talking about it because I before I signed him up for the soccer, I was like, do we really want to do it? I'm like, what else are we going to do all summer? Am I going to just sit at my house like? Danielle: We're talk about this in like three months and see how it goes. Yeah, I mean, and like that is a good point. It's only nicer for a little while. doesn't his schedule allows for him to take some of that. Like he is more flexible during the summer and he gets out earlier from school. So that does help. I say like that's the big thing for me. And Catie Fitzgerald: Yes. Danielle: the thing that has saved me in the last truly like the month and a half. So, and I know she's listening. So Tracy has saved my life because we've started carpooling. So we're signing our kids up for the same sports and both of us travel for work, we're crazy schedules, but both of our husbands work. So between the two of us, well, the four of us, it's been like, hey, why don't you pick up? Catie Fitzgerald: are the best. Danielle: or from school and take them to the activity. I'll pick them up from the activity. They can come back to my house for dinner. It is. then we had to go through the whole thing of like, hey, at school, we know that you guys are helping each other out if we need you on the list. So now all of my lists now have her and her husband on the list because I have to, but that is the way like, in my opinion, you get through it. And now I'm looking at different cars because I'm thinking to myself, I need, I need to be in car seats. Catie Fitzgerald: We have to. What if you have to throw an extra kid? Danielle: So then if I have to pick up another child or two, I need a bigger car. So now we're in that phase of life of like, we're going to do this, I would have any van. Catie Fitzgerald: You're getting a minivan. You're getting a minivan. I think we should both get matching minivans. Danielle: Catie, I don't think we should, but you know what? I'm not that far off because it's more about like practicality at this moment, but I was in the new Jeep Rancheriki and let me tell you, it was pretty nice. So. ⁓ Catie Fitzgerald: You You know I love Jeeps. But I'm also like a Honda Odyssey. Danielle: I know you love a Honda Odyssey. like, get it. It'll be worth it when you have four nights of sports that you no longer can go pick your kids up from. Catie Fitzgerald: And I've been on the side of TikTok and Instagram right now of that people that have minivans and have sports every night, they're hooking their crockpots up in the trunk of their car and they're doing tacos out of the back of the car, like at the end of the stuff. But I think the excitement right now is because Jack was really like struggling with sports at the beginning here. And he's so young that like people are probably like, this girl's crazy for even Danielle: All right. Catie Fitzgerald: talking about this, like, Jack was just like, we went through the phase of like, parents are out there with them every single time to know parents and he didn't like that transition. It took us a couple sessions, but now he's great. He goes at like, awesome. Mood drag. Danielle: That's awesome because I know like we were struggling and for Colton we started him very coltons ginormous So we started him in sports super earlier earlier than most I think because they were letting him go even a little bit before his birthday because he was so big and I just remember the kid has zero interest like absolutely zero interest whatsoever the soccer field he's like dancing football running the wrong direction. Then we did T-ball when he was three going into four and it was during his nap time. I don't know what we were thinking. And he would just cry. He was way too young and I'm like, ⁓ my God. And that kind of gets us into the point of like, what do you do? Like obviously you, if you sign up for a season, we've both said this before. We pushed them through the season. But what do you do when your kid hates everything you sign them up for? I'm asking Colton, what's core? Catie Fitzgerald: That's, yeah. I know. Well, and you're at a unique phase where he can start communicating to you like what he likes and doesn't like and that. Like, I feel Jack is still a little young. Like, I want him to try things. And you've tried, you know, you've you've put Colton in. It's not like he hasn't played them. So he understands like what he likes and he's starting to get to that point. Whereas I'm like, Jack still needs to try with some of it. And I definitely know that I'm Danielle: Yeah. Catie Fitzgerald: we're going to overdo it and be crazy. But I do want them to try everything. sports, ⁓ is like the whole concept of what we're talking about, right? Like sports for both of us was a huge part of our lives. Danielle: Yeah, I'm dying right now because he doesn't want to do it's literally killing me. I lived on a baseball field Catie Fitzgerald: Yes, like to be like, and you think of all these things where I'm like already like this this summer I volunteered to be like the team manager because I'm envisioning like I'm gonna like, you know, snack every week and what you know, all of those things and get so excited about those. He could he could absolutely hate it. And I could start dreading going every week. Danielle: I do think that there is something to be said like when your parents are really into it like depending and if you played a lot at home I think that that does lend itself like you see these kids that like are all into it It's like Mike, but it is difficult because you do the art of comparison we've talked about this before and some of my friends like or my siblings their kids are Incredible like they pick up sports so easily. It's like so second nature and then you're like Like I don't want to get upset about it because every kid is unique and has their own thing. And my uncle gave me great advice. He's like Danielle, lean into whatever it is they love and find a way to love it so that you can like grow it with them. But like trying to find that thing that they love Daisy so much easier. And this is another thing with two kids. I feel bad because felt this as a kid, Daisy loves dance. Now she's asking to do it every day and she wants to cheer. And obviously the reason I cheered was because I love sports and I sucked. So like if I could dance and I could cheer, I could be at a football game and I'd be watching football practice or basketball practice. I was in sports all day, every day, like my entire life. So it gave me that. But then what? Do I just give Daisy all the attention because she wants to do sports and let go? No, I can't do that. So now I'm like trying to stuff for him. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. And that makes it hard, too, because just as they get older and that the other thing that's going to be hard is remember, I mean, with three kids, it's obviously much different if you have if you're going in three different three different directions. And so ⁓ the beginning, I was on Steph's team a lot like we just ⁓ had to play up. And luckily, was like it was like a Colton situation. I was big enough and I could. Danielle: ⁓ I don't know how our parents did it. I have no clue. Yeah. worked out for you. mean, your culture was up at Fredonia for like eight years after you graduated. Catie Fitzgerald: So I was able to like play up, but then like Michelle never played on my, you know what I mean? Like she never played on my team. Like, and then it was very separate for a while and Steph, you know, didn't do the travel and that. And then she went to, she was in high school, like the friends came into play. She was doing that type of thing. Or, and then when she went to college, especially like my parents just, my dad went with me and my mom went with Michelle and Steph was at college or, you know. Danielle: separate yeah the separate sports. Catie Fitzgerald: It was all separate or like by the time she could drive, it was like, thank God she can go to her drive herself. Danielle: Well, yeah, that's when my parents got me a car at 16. They said, if you get a job and have a 4.0, 4.0 job, you could have your own car. But my mom admits now, she's like, Danielle, I needed you to drive. You were in 8,000 activities at one school. Your brother was in 8,000 activities in another school. And then I had David on accident who was 10 years younger than you. And I did it. I could it. Catie Fitzgerald: It was in their benefit. That's it. And you're like, I don't know what to do. But that's where it's like, you and Colton and Daisy will for sure be in different stuff. So you will be separated when you like, as you get to those things. ⁓ like Calvin's gonna be like Colton or like myself ⁓ he'll be able to play up. Like he's gonna be eligible. ⁓ mean, we're gonna hit a three, four month span here where ⁓ there three and four. So like. ⁓ Danielle: ⁓ Yeah. You're gonna have best, like there were these brothers that played, I was a hockey back in the day. And there were these two brothers, no, like that was our thing. And they the Nucci brothers. If anybody that knows the Nucci's is listening, they were the best hockey players. They were so handsome. These like Italian little stallions that like killed it on ice and they played together for years. And it was like the coolest thing ever because it was everyone knew the Nucci brothers. Catie Fitzgerald: sure. Danielle: And I feel like that's gonna be Jack and Kelvin. Everybody's gonna know the Fitzgerald brothers. They're just gonna come out together and like kick ass. Catie Fitzgerald: They're just going to be, well, I mean, they have baseball or hockey names. Like that was, that was a factor while we were naming them. Danielle: Yeah, we all think sports names. The only person calling Colton's name at this time is going to be like, he thinks he's going to be a K-pop dancer. So I'm looking up hip hop groups for Colton, but like the rhythm aspect is like not fully there. we're dying because I think I told you this and she's definitely listening to the podcast, but I'm not going to say her name, but she's like, my, I'm just grateful. My kids don't want to do anything and aren't like super duper tailored. Catie Fitzgerald: Look out. He still has some rare. When are we going to start saying that? it's going to be starting in May, I'm going to have four nights a week of sports. We're going to be out. Danielle: She's like, it gives me so much free time to hang out with them and do fun stuff and whatever. But I don't know. think fun is relative based on like what you want to do. And I think that with what we're doing, we lean into sports because that's what our, our lives were. But there's also like STEM learning, robotics, coding, like who knows martial arts. We tried that too, but that was not a win either for. Catie Fitzgerald: True, yes. Yes. Yep. and we I would love to put them in it one time to see if they like it with the martial arts. Danielle: It's wonderful for so many reasons, but they thought for a second, Colton might like need it for like listening, but he just, he was so pissed. didn't get a belt every week, but didn't like practice for the belt and didn't understand that you have to like do things to get the belt. was so funny. Catie Fitzgerald: Thank you. So it's like, okay. Yes. And I do think like, I know this comes from the perspective of like being an athlete and that but I like it just has shaped so much who I am that I can't imagine my kids not playing something. I'll help them. We're gonna find what they like but Danielle: Well, and that's what I told Colton. I don't care what sport you play. I don't care if it's theater or because I did theater too as a kid. don't care if it's theater, sports. You need to do something with a team or a group of people where you rely on each other. You are disciplined. You work hard together and you achieve something together because it will change your life. People hire athletes for a reason, not because they're like, cool. Catie Fitzgerald: You gotta be in a group. Yeah. Danielle: because they understand what it means to be part of a team and to take different roles. And I think that's like the most, for me, that's like the most important part for Colton and Daisy is I benefited. My college essay was about dance and dance can be not considered a sport, but the discipline and the commitment and the way to present yourself to the world was very ingrained in me at my dance studio. And I took that with me everywhere I went and every other. of my life so I don't think it matters what it is. It's ill. Catie Fitzgerald: It was just the way it... yeah. Now I think we have to talk about as our kids get older, say they like the sports. How am I going to deal with if they are not good? Danielle: Okay, this is... Catie Fitzgerald: You Danielle: Think about my mom for a second, okay? Go back to that Mother's Day episode, where she said the most embarrassing moment of her life. She swears that you asked her the most embarrassing thing I ever did, but I wanted to clarify with her recently that it was that any of us have ever done. That was my life in general, that was that moment. So I was so passionate about dance. Catie Fitzgerald: Her life was... just her life in general now, it's that. Danielle: and acting and singing. wanted to be, I still, if given the opportunity, would get on a local stage right now and make up another ballet dance. Don't care. Don't care. Don't care. I would love this, especially for under-talented adults. If there's anyone listening that is an under-talented adult that would like to put on a local version of Hamilton, I'm making my friends do this for our 40th birthday. We're all learning a Broadway. Catie Fitzgerald: Here we go. The podcasts, let's go. Bonus episode. Danielle: show and performing in costume because I'm passionate but I'm saying this because my mom was so embarrassed but she had to let me do it. But you don't have to pay. I think some parents are so desperate for their kids to be the best. don't think you have to put them in every single club, every thing. Like my mom was very honest and looked at me and said Danielle you're great at tapping jazz you have rhythm. Catie Fitzgerald: head to. Yes. Danielle: you just have huge boobs and not a ballerina body. Like you gotta give it up, home slice. And I was very upset, but looking back, like there was a 0 % chance I'd ever be in a ballet. Catie Fitzgerald: Right. You have to protect your kid at a certain extent. they have to understand how the world is because ⁓ are not that you can't do anything. Like, of course, we want our kids to think that they can do anything they want. But like there is also something to investing in something you're good at and like ⁓ feeling good about, hey, I am good at this part of it. Let me focus on this and helping steer them into that. Because when they have success in it, it makes them like it more. it teaches them more about it. makes them feel more responsibility about whatever that is. But I just am like, okay, I don't know. There's not like a good way to say it. Danielle: If you really like it and they're not good at it, there will eventually be natural selection out of it, right? Think about that. It's not going to go too far. Catie Fitzgerald: Yes. Or like they don't make a team in high school. They don't do this. it's really hard because me and Ryan were not like that. We both excelled. I wasn't best kid. And I think, and I knew that I wasn't the best. Like I was like, I'm not going to be a D1 athlete. Like I, I know where ⁓ I am. it was a big part of where I picked where I wanted to go to college. Danielle: But that's because we were competitive and understood. in cheerleading, I was one of the best dancers and I was one of the loudest and I'm a leader. So I knew I could always end up the captain. I could always help choreograph. And I had good jumps and I was strong, but I couldn't tumble. I wasn't the best. I was never the best cheerleader, but I took the skills that I did have and implemented them into that team to make it stronger. Catie Fitzgerald: and were a vital part of the team. Yeah. Danielle: And I think that's a part of being a team and helping your kids understand that you don't have to be the best to be on the team. You have to add value. But also, even if you suck at something and you love to do it, and this is one thing I want my kids to do that I didn't. If you suck at it and you want to do it, keep trying. Practice, practice. You have to practice. You have to put in the work. It's not going to happen for you and you cannot be mad if you don't get in because that's the reality of life. You do things because you're... You have to lead with your strengths. We all know that. So don't be an idiot. Lead with your strengths. But also if there's something you're super passionate about and you're willing to put in the work for it because you love it, do it. I don't care. I will help you invest in that. I'm not, don't think you're going to get into Carnegie Mellon or Juilliard or go play D1 at UConn when you didn't make the high school team. Like those are the things that like you have to have real. Catie Fitzgerald: Yes, you have to teach them the realities of it. But that's where I think it is all it all is really helpful for them. I will say, though, I'm already about a thousand dollars into summer activities. it's. my Lord. I'm like, is this for so like the summer camp that he's going to go to is very reasonable. I did the math ends up being about 25 bucks a day. I think that's Danielle: camp for us is like $600. ⁓ Not bad. Really good. Catie Fitzgerald: really reasonable for the whole summer. I'm like, great. But then we added on all the other stuff now. And now I got to go get all the stuff because we haven't done any of these sports before. And I'm finding, and I don't know how you are with this, but I, Ryan a like second child. He got the hand me downs. He never got new anything. I to some extent, his ⁓ mom will do it. He's like, I can boss up. Danielle: Yeah! Catie Fitzgerald: Me and Steph, by the time, mean, I was very tall and she was not as tall. Like we were just different sizes or we were playing at the same time. ⁓ then by the time ⁓ went in different directions and we were in different sports. So then there was no hand-me-downs internally. So I got new stuff every, you know, time I needed new things. So I want Jack to have new stuff. ⁓ Danielle: So are you saying that you want Jack to have all new stuff? Catie Fitzgerald: But then you look at the fucking prices for this stuff. Ryan's a hand me down guy. So he's like, Catie, stop like, like, not going to go to Dix and get him the newest everything. I'm like, but I want him to like experience having that. And he's like, I have 18 cousins. They all have garages full of this stuff. We are just going to go get it. Danielle: So the thing is I was the oldest, the only girl. So I didn't have hand-me-downs. So same as you because there was no option, right? But with Colton and Daisy now, especially with Facebook Marketplace and all the people that we have, right? These kids, I'm telling you from my experience, I bought Colton new for the first couple of sports. A, didn't like them. B, his feet grow. ⁓ Catie Fitzgerald: That's what I mean. Danielle: Every other day, I was buying $50 cleats and giving them away two weeks later because they didn't fit. I'm getting brand new stuff for free from my neighbors and or for like $5. I just got a box from my neighbor of every dance shoe for Daisy, both tap and jazz for like the next five sizes. And they're usually like 35 to $55 a pair. when you sign them up for more sports, Catie Fitzgerald: because you have just done it. Done. Yeah. Yeah, no, you listen, you have to go hand me down. Danielle: or more activities if you save the money on the stuff. And then if he's like. Catie Fitzgerald: But my shopping problem wants to like pick him out the new stuff. I know. So I do think, and then the other thing was we were arguing because of the amount of sports being able to utilize across different sports. ⁓ and Ryan, the ⁓ argument is with cleats. Danielle: ⁓ Yeah, pick him up on Facebook marketplace. Go to Kid2Kid, secondhand sports. Okay, that's it. I don't think you can mix them. I'm sorry. Catie Fitzgerald: You can't. And I'm like, I know that you can't, like, I'm going to now I have to buy baseball cleats and soccer cleats. Even if I get off marketplace, I'm dropping 50 bucks to get something that's in decent enough shape that's going to last the season. But it's just funny, like all the things we did get, a new baseball helmet, because that will last him a season or two. Like that will last. But yeah, he has a mitt already. Like we've had, we have some of the stuff. Soccer is easy because. Danielle: Okay, that's okay for a minute. Like, you know, it's okay. And that's where you utilize birthdays, Christmases, Easter, for these days. My brother is a Catie Fitzgerald: For Calvin's birthday, I'm going to ask for Jack's cleats. Because they will fit Calvin at some probably tomorrow. They are about the same size. So I'm going to run into that there's going to be no hand-me-downs internally because they're the same size already. But it is funny because it's like as they try the things you're like, yeah, I can't buy new stuff every time. Danielle: Perfect, why not? They both wear the same clothes. It's insane. Catie Fitzgerald: And we haven't even gotten into hockey. And I'm sure some of the hockey moms out there are like, wait till you start buying that equipment because they're in new freaking, a whole new wardrobe every single season or mid season having to swap stuff. can only imagine we're going to wait another year on Danielle: most expensive sport of all time. Yeah, it will be like, him ⁓ in the play aquarium, Catie. Let him play. ⁓ Catie Fitzgerald: Oh, they have to try. They're going to try. I'm not kidding. We're going to try everything. I don't think I'll try Jack in football. I don't think he's going to like that. Kelvin will have to try. Danielle: football right now. Hopefully could try it. So this is another hack that I'm doing this summer that I didn't do last summer. Last summer I signed Colton up for all the most expensive camps. Then I asked him what his favorite camps were and one of them was expensive but like one of the other really expensive ones that I thought he was gonna love he didn't care about at all. But I joined the Y and the reason I did this is because they have a million especially for Colton's age Jack's not old enough but once they hit seven there are a million different camps. They even have cheer camp for Daisy at three. Catie Fitzgerald: Yes. It's so good. Danielle: that you can sign them up for that's reasonable prices, they do it for a week, they see if they like it. So I am going to utilize the why this year to try more sports. Catie Fitzgerald: I've heard great things about the Y. Danielle: And I get to work out for like, can do up to two hours. Yeah, I dropped them off for 30 minutes. I was so, so nervous about Daisy. Like dropping her off, only did 30 minutes. She did all right. I think it's more, it's less like, I know she's ⁓ a baddie. Like she's going to be fine. I don't like know those teachers and know those people. And it really freaks me out to think that anybody can walk in there at any time. Like how do I know for sure she's there safe? Like, I don't know. Catie Fitzgerald: And there's childcare. She did all right. safe. know. Yeah, it is. It is a struggle. We that's definitely on our radar for the next couple years. We'll probably join there because they do camps summer camps here for us to ⁓ they're older. The other thing for me with the summer camp right now is that only one of the kids is eligible for summer camp. So I'm putting Jack in camp, but I still have Calvin home all summer. So it's hard because it's like Danielle: Yeah, like. Same. Same. So you're gonna have them home, right? Like there's a camp, I guess, at Daisy's school that I could sign her up for, but my mom said she would take her and it's like $300 a week I save. Like I'll save that. I am gonna put her in cheer camp. There's a cheer camp, but it's like Fridays and then I'm gonna do dance camp on Fridays. And that's the other thing before we end this topic is we're starting to sign think the kids up with other friends and people. Catie Fitzgerald: somebody here. No. Danielle: love weekends, but I hate signing up for sports on weekends right now because we're working all week and the weekends are the only time like all of us can do something together and if it's not baseball or something on a field like a dance class sounds like no to me when I could do it on a Wednesday night. I don't know what are your thoughts on that? Catie Fitzgerald: No, I agree. think in with the front, ⁓ is a whole other aspect to it and the importance of it ⁓ building the relationships. So I think ⁓ is almost more important to have that. It's hard though, because either way, ⁓ hope is that no matter what program they're in, they're going to make the new friends, right? Danielle: Yeah, really just. Yeah, it's true. Catie Fitzgerald: But for you, you know the people. I feel like that's something too. Like I want our kids to be in stuff that my friends' kids are in. Danielle: Well, my neighbors, our daughters are the same age. They like don't play a lot because we're both very busy. So going on and doing dance together would be like life changing. We get to hang out together. The girls would start doing stuff together. Then I'm like, what happens? I travel, you know, I'm a traveler. So if I can't make half the practices a year, that's not good either. Catie Fitzgerald: busy. Yeah, exactly. know I thought about that too. And that's why I knew the math for my, the summer camp, how many, how much it is per day, because I'm like, all right, if we're going to pull them out for X amount time. Yeah, right. I know I, ⁓ we'll we have to do a summer road trip, but like it is, ⁓ it's, hard to like, when you pay for it, you're like, I know I'm going to miss X amount. It's just hard to factor that in. Danielle: you're gonna come visit us that'd be cool let me know before I go. All of it is difficult because we work so that we can live and we want to provide our kids with nice things. But then sometimes you're looking at it being like, if I didn't, you have guilt no matter what, like I wouldn't have to put them in camp if I was able to stay home. But then if I stayed home, they couldn't do this like for us, like, and everybody's life is different. So we're not saying like some people on a one household income are fine. Like you and I need to, which is cool. And it's like, we wouldn't cool, so cool, but we wouldn't be able to, you and I would suck. at not doing something. We'd be kicking up some weird business that our husbands would be like, go back to work. You're annoying. Catie Fitzgerald: I know. ⁓ I do. So I think the most important things that I've learned thus far is that even if you think they're too little, try it anyway. But have the expect, like set your expectations that they're going to cry, they're going to suck, and they're going to act like they hate it. But the more consistent you become with it, the better because Danielle: Correct. And don't invite your parents to the first practice. If you come from a sport family, do not invite your parents to the first practice because when they inevitably suck, you don't want that same look of disappointment. It can suck, you know? Catie Fitzgerald: So, I'm not. the guilt to follow through. But I know a lot of people have struggled where they sign their kid up and they're like, they're just too young. And it's like, they're not too young because they have to try it at some point. They have to be able to listen to a coach. have to, you know, this is all part of the learning. They have to start somewhere. if your kid's the crier, like nobody's judging. if you judge somebody's kid at a sports, shame on you because it could be you in two seconds. Danielle: Yes, I agree. Got it. Catie Fitzgerald: Your kid could bump heads with somebody and be crying and not recover from it. You can't, you cannot judge. I know like Ryan always is like, Jack's crying again. Or like I've had to sit inside the sports stuff to do it. And we're past it now. And I'm like, Ryan, I did that for one session and now he's over, like he's over it. Like if any of these moms are judging me for sitting on the sideline of this, like your kid's going to be crying about something at some point, like just wait. Danielle: Yet judgment is not allowed in childhood court. Yeah, and I think that's. And we're gonna look at you and we're gonna look at you and stare and say, remember when, just kidding, we won't do that. We'll like, we've been there, we've got you. Catie Fitzgerald: Yes. And I've wanted to, like, I've seen other moms doing it. wanted to be like, I prompt, keep, do it, keep going. You've got it. Like, you got it. Don't let them beat you down. Like, stay patient. yeah. Danielle: you got this. And I think I've also learned like as they've gotten older, because I agree with everything that you said. I think you have to learn to talk to your kids about what they like and what they don't like, not just the sport, but the aspects of the sport. Because sometimes your kid may actually like the sport. They don't like the coach or they don't like that they feel stupid when they mess up or they don't like literally Colton is talking about swimming and somebody's gonna listen to this, but this was serious. Colton took ISR, he could swim laps and he doesn't want to join swim team. All his friends are doing swim team. And I was like, Colton, it'll be so good for you. And trust me, I don't want to do swim team. The commitment is insane. It's every day, it's stupid. But for him, I want to do it. And he's like, I don't want to. I said, but buddy, why? And he finally admitted, I'm afraid to fail in front of my friends. So now we know, we join the why, we're going to do open swim twice a week. You know, we're going to practice and make sure he's good to go because it wasn't that he doesn't want to swim. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Practice it, Danielle: that he's embarrassed, that he's not gonna do well, it's be good enough. And I think that's like, if you don't talk to your kids about that right now, they'll go their whole life afraid of failure. And we all know that failure, if you use it right, there's not failure, there's mistakes, lessons, whatever. And so I think that the big thing is like, talk to your kids about why they don't like the sport and what activities or portions of each sport they like. Don't just take it at face value. Catie Fitzgerald: be good enough, right? It's so important and don't assume. Yeah, don't assume that they don't like something or they're done, you know. Danielle: Yes, almost it. Or they love it because they're good at it, because there's those kids that are good at stuff and they just do it because their parents tell them to because they're good and it makes their parents so proud. And they're like, I really want to like go research penguins in the Arctic. But instead, I'm in California hitting balls because mommy and daddy were proud. You know, like we got to go both Catie Fitzgerald: Most D1 athletes have full-time jobs that are not in professional sports. Danielle: Yeah, correct. My brother was a D1 athlete and here he is owning an accounting business. So it's okay, you're back. And I think that too, if your kids love something, the one thing I wish I would have learned earlier in life, not that I don't like what I do now, but if you love sports or music or theater, there are tons of careers that you can do and learn to do that are in alignment. I mean, I was sitting court side at the Hornets game. Catie Fitzgerald: I bumped my mic. Danielle: and there was roles for everything. The squeegeeers, for the hype squad, the coaches, the reporters, they all have unique skills and they all need to know about the sport. So like don't count yourself out or your kid out just because they're not the one on the field. Catie Fitzgerald: ⁓ yeah. Absolutely. Well, I think with that, it's time for us to clock out. Danielle: But I think. You can go celebrate your birthday. Woohoo! Yay! Bye everyone. Catie Fitzgerald: birthday lunch. We'll see you all next time.