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Repeat Offender · Everyone Has An Ex

0:12
Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mea podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges
0:19
Speaker 1: the traditional owners of the land and waters. This podcast
0:22
Speaker 1: is recorded on. This episode deals with suicidal idiation. Listener
0:26
Speaker 1: discretion is advised.
0:34
Speaker 2: AH.
0:35
Speaker 1: Trust It's the pillar of any relationship, romantic or not. Well,
0:39
Speaker 1: that's what Indy believes. She also thinks there's no reason
0:42
Speaker 1: not to give it out when you first meet someone.
0:45
Speaker 3: I've always been a big believer that trust is there
0:48
Speaker 3: until it's broken, and that's what I feel like it
0:51
Speaker 3: was with James. I had no reason not to trust him.
0:55
Speaker 3: Every person that I spoke to about him always spoke
0:59
Speaker 3: so highly of him and had nothing but positive things
1:02
Speaker 3: to say about him. Or he was really friendly, charismatic,
1:06
Speaker 3: and so yeah, I just saw, like all tics.
1:10
Speaker 1: Others might disagree, arguing trust should be earned, that Indie
1:14
Speaker 1: reckons is just going into life with a negative attitude.
1:17
Speaker 1: Nobody's got time for that. So what could possibly happen
1:21
Speaker 1: to make someone with her positive shiny outlook to a
1:24
Speaker 1: complete one eighty?
1:26
Speaker 3: I was so angry. I didn't feel sorry for him anymore.
1:29
Speaker 3: I didn't feel sad for him anymore. I was furious
1:32
Speaker 3: he was in a really awful situation. But I had
1:35
Speaker 3: to put myself first because I couldn't keep getting lied
1:39
Speaker 3: to again and again.
1:50
Speaker 1: I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex
1:53
Speaker 1: Come with me as we dive into a collection of
1:55
Speaker 1: unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the
1:59
Speaker 1: hearts of the very people who live them. Today's story starts,
2:04
Speaker 1: as so many do, through Instagram. Indian knew of James,
2:08
Speaker 1: but didn't really know him until the old DM s i'd.
2:12
Speaker 3: One of my mutual friends said to James, you should
2:15
Speaker 3: follow India on Instagram, and so then he followed me
2:18
Speaker 3: on Instagram and every now and then he'd do like
2:21
Speaker 3: a little fire emoji, but nothing kind of came from it.
2:25
Speaker 3: And then he messaged me one day and he was like,
2:28
Speaker 3: let's catch up, but nothing came of that. And then
2:32
Speaker 3: we went into COVID lockdown, so we'll message each other
2:36
Speaker 3: a bit back and forth, and still nothing. And then
2:39
Speaker 3: once lockdown finished, then he messaged me and he basically said,
2:42
Speaker 3: now lockdown's finished, do you want to go on that date?
2:45
Speaker 1: So they did.
2:46
Speaker 3: It was an amazing first date, like it was honestly
2:49
Speaker 3: perfect from start to finish, and we went to a
2:52
Speaker 3: really nice Asian fusion restaurant. And do you know how
2:55
Speaker 3: sometimes in those restaurants, like the tables are really close together,
2:59
Speaker 3: but ours was completely separate away from everyone else, and
3:03
Speaker 3: it was like flowing conversation the whole time. And yeah,
3:06
Speaker 3: it was just a really, really nice first date. And
3:10
Speaker 3: he was very smooth, like he went to the toilet
3:12
Speaker 3: and then he snuck up and he went and paid.
3:15
Speaker 3: And the drive home, actually I dropped him home in
3:18
Speaker 3: the uber and we had to wear masks back then,
3:21
Speaker 3: and so then we kind of awkwardly looked at one
3:25
Speaker 3: another and pulled our masks down and kissed each other
3:28
Speaker 3: in the uber, and then he went inside. And yeah,
3:31
Speaker 3: the next day, I was eagerly like waiting by my
3:34
Speaker 3: phone hoping that he would message me, and yeah, he
3:37
Speaker 3: messaged me, and he wanted to go on another date,
3:39
Speaker 3: and so we saw each other a few days later,
3:42
Speaker 3: and it just continued. He was two years older than
3:46
Speaker 3: me and my dating history. I had been single for
3:49
Speaker 3: a few years at that stage because we were from
3:51
Speaker 3: the same area. Every person that I spoke to about
3:54
Speaker 3: him always spoke so highly of him and had nothing
3:58
Speaker 3: but positive things to say about him. He was really friendly, charismatic,
4:03
Speaker 3: and so yeah, I just saw like all ticks. He
4:06
Speaker 3: was amazing, Like he was really caring, he was thoughtful,
4:10
Speaker 3: he was kind, he made me love so much, and yeah,
4:13
Speaker 3: I just really cherished all those those few weeks. And
4:16
Speaker 3: then it got to I think about the three week mark,
4:18
Speaker 3: and he just said, I'm telling everyone that you're my girlfriend.
4:22
Speaker 3: And he had never had a girlfriend before either, so
4:25
Speaker 3: I was his first day of a girlfriend, which I
4:27
Speaker 3: thought was a little bit of a red flag, but
4:30
Speaker 3: it ended up being fine. He was an amazing boyfriend.
4:33
Speaker 3: We spent so much time together we ended up going
4:37
Speaker 3: into lockdown, and so because we were in lockdown, and
4:40
Speaker 3: then that forced us to spend even more time with
4:43
Speaker 3: one another. So we were in lockdown, but we were
4:46
Speaker 3: still trying to make things fun, like we would have
4:48
Speaker 3: a Mexican night, make spicy margaritas for one another. And
4:52
Speaker 3: I remember one of the first I think it was
4:54
Speaker 3: like the third date, he actually bought ingredients and came
4:57
Speaker 3: over to my apartment and cooked for me, which I
5:00
Speaker 3: just thought was so romantic. And he really wanted me
5:03
Speaker 3: to meet his family really quick into the relationship as well,
5:07
Speaker 3: which I also thought I had never really experienced that before.
5:11
Speaker 3: I thought that that was really like lovely of him.
5:14
Speaker 3: And he just seemed like he was really proud of
5:16
Speaker 3: me and proud to introduce me to all of his
5:19
Speaker 3: close friends and family. He had a lot of friends.
5:22
Speaker 3: He was a really friendly person. He was just so thoughtful.
5:26
Speaker 3: There was just so many like thoughtful aspects to him.
5:30
Speaker 3: And he made me laugh all the time, like we
5:32
Speaker 3: would just be laughing, and yeah, he just seemed like
5:35
Speaker 3: a really really good person. So from all my family,
5:38
Speaker 3: compared to all of my previous ex's, they were like,
5:42
Speaker 3: James is amazing. He seems like such a good guy.
5:45
Speaker 3: And so I was reassured from all of my friends
5:49
Speaker 3: and family around me as well.
5:50
Speaker 1: The relationship was good, easy and fun, and soon they
5:54
Speaker 1: were to take the next step.
5:56
Speaker 3: I had my own apartment, so I purchased my own place,
6:00
Speaker 3: and he was living in a sharehouse. So a lot
6:03
Speaker 3: of the time he would come over to my place
6:05
Speaker 3: and stay at mine because we had our own space there.
6:10
Speaker 3: And then he spoke about wanting to move out of
6:14
Speaker 3: his sharehouse and possibly move into his investment property. He
6:18
Speaker 3: had an investment property that was a few suburbs away
6:21
Speaker 3: from mine, and so then because we were spending I
6:25
Speaker 3: guess five out of seven nights with each other a week,
6:28
Speaker 3: I kind of just said, why don't you just move
6:30
Speaker 3: in here? And he did so he moved into my
6:34
Speaker 3: apartment and lived with me after six months, and I
6:37
Speaker 3: guess some people thought that that was a bit quick,
6:40
Speaker 3: but it just felt natural and it felt right, and
6:43
Speaker 3: it was lovely living together. We had our routine, we
6:46
Speaker 3: would go to the market every week and we would
6:48
Speaker 3: cook for one another, and we lived really well together.
6:51
Speaker 3: So yeah, it was all really positive from then. And
6:55
Speaker 3: we had some discussions about rent and him paying me rent,
7:00
Speaker 3: and he said to me he had quite a few fines,
7:03
Speaker 3: and so I said to him, that's fine. How about
7:06
Speaker 3: you pay me fifty dollars less each week in rent
7:08
Speaker 3: until you pay off all of your fines and then
7:12
Speaker 3: you can pay what he originally wanted to pay me
7:15
Speaker 3: once that's all sorted. And so he was really appreciative
7:18
Speaker 3: of that, and so that's what we did. However, when
7:23
Speaker 3: it came to him paying me at times, he just
7:26
Speaker 3: wouldn't and so it would be he'd get paid once
7:29
Speaker 3: a week, and we agreed he would just pay me
7:31
Speaker 3: weekly and then we'd split everything fifty to fifty for bills.
7:35
Speaker 3: And the first week, I remember, I just I got
7:38
Speaker 3: no money in my account. And I always feel so
7:41
Speaker 3: uncomfortable talking about money and having to follow people up
7:46
Speaker 3: for money, and so I think I messaged my sisters
7:49
Speaker 3: and I was like, I don't know what to do,
7:50
Speaker 3: and they were like, just give it like another week
7:52
Speaker 3: and steal nothing. So then I asked and he's like,
7:55
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, and he'd transfer the money straight away.
7:58
Speaker 3: He was mortified and he apologized and he's like, I'm
8:01
Speaker 3: so sorry. He completely slipped my mind and he transferred
8:04
Speaker 3: it to me straight away. And then that kind of
8:08
Speaker 3: pattern just kept continuing, and then it kind of got
8:11
Speaker 3: to a stage where I would just bring it up
8:13
Speaker 3: and I would ask him and I'd say, where's the
8:15
Speaker 3: money in a nice way, and he would transfer it
8:19
Speaker 3: through to me. And I thought that it was a
8:21
Speaker 3: bit odd that he wouldn't transfer it, but then I
8:25
Speaker 3: would ask and then it would go in instantly. And
8:28
Speaker 3: then there would be times where he would say something
8:31
Speaker 3: to me, so he'd say, oh, do you mind if
8:34
Speaker 3: I don't pay this week because I have the owner's
8:38
Speaker 3: corp fee that I need to pay for my investment property,
8:41
Speaker 3: and I was like, that's so fine, you can just
8:42
Speaker 3: pay two weeks next week, and so little things like
8:45
Speaker 3: that would come up.
8:46
Speaker 1: Okay, so this wasn't great, but he would pay immediately
8:50
Speaker 1: every time, and he reminded him he hadn't. Maybe he
8:53
Speaker 1: was just a little forgetful or had his priority is
8:55
Speaker 1: a bit skewed.
8:56
Speaker 3: He was quite generous, and that's one of the thing
8:58
Speaker 3: that my friends all said that James would always go
9:01
Speaker 3: and buy them drinks, and yeah, be very generous with
9:04
Speaker 3: his money, but he was probably not spending his money
9:07
Speaker 3: in the best way that he should have been. And
9:11
Speaker 3: you know, they'd be times where he wouldn't pay for rent,
9:14
Speaker 3: but then he'd walk in. I still remember this so clearly.
9:17
Speaker 3: He walked in and he had all of these shopping
9:20
Speaker 3: bags and I looked in. I was like, what is
9:23
Speaker 3: that and he's like, oh, look, I bought myself and you, Tommy,
9:25
Speaker 3: he'll figure shirt and I bought myself this, And I
9:28
Speaker 3: just said, you owe me like three weeks worth of rent.
9:32
Speaker 3: Why don't you pay me that before you go off
9:34
Speaker 3: and buy yourself things that are not necessary. But anytime
9:38
Speaker 3: i'd have that conversation, then the money would just get
9:41
Speaker 3: transferred straight away. He would be mortified and he would apologize.
9:46
Speaker 3: He'd seem slightly embarrassed, but he just yeah, he would
9:50
Speaker 3: say sorry. Sometimes he would say that there was a
9:54
Speaker 3: bill that he'd have to pay for his investment property
9:57
Speaker 3: and that was the reason. So he just didn't like
10:01
Speaker 3: communicating about anything to do with money, and I didn't either.
10:05
Speaker 3: It's an awkward, uncomfortable topic. We never thought about anything,
10:09
Speaker 3: and so I feel like we had a very healthy relationship.
10:12
Speaker 3: But the only real issue was that he was quite
10:16
Speaker 3: lax when it came to paying rent on time. He's
10:20
Speaker 3: the type of person's like ignorance is bliss out of sight,
10:23
Speaker 3: out of mind, and he just wouldn't have an open
10:27
Speaker 3: conversation about those sorts of things.
10:31
Speaker 1: Apart from the huge number of fines James had, money
10:34
Speaker 1: wasn't actually an issue. They'd been together two years at
10:36
Speaker 1: this point. They both owned properties and had full time jobs.
10:40
Speaker 1: But James had lived in a sharehouse before and had
10:42
Speaker 1: never had a girlfriend, let alone lived with one, so
10:45
Speaker 1: Indy wasn't concerned. She just realized he might have some
10:49
Speaker 1: growing up to do. There was nothing of real concern. Yet.
10:53
Speaker 3: One day I was at home and he was out
10:58
Speaker 3: and I was looking for a pair of headphones, and
11:01
Speaker 3: so I went into his work bag and I was
11:04
Speaker 3: looking through and I saw a debt letter and so
11:08
Speaker 3: I just pulled it out. It looked like a fine.
11:10
Speaker 3: I was like, here we go again, another fine, because
11:13
Speaker 3: he had had so many fines. And I pulled it
11:16
Speaker 3: out and it was his name, our address, and it
11:20
Speaker 3: was a fine for ninety thousand dollars. And I just
11:24
Speaker 3: put it back and hit it and then I was
11:27
Speaker 3: in disbelief. I was kind of like, what did I
11:30
Speaker 3: just see? And then I went back to it because
11:31
Speaker 3: I'm like, surely I did not see that correctly, and
11:35
Speaker 3: I pulled it out and yeah, it was for around
11:38
Speaker 3: eighty nine thousand dollars. And when he came home, I
11:42
Speaker 3: just said, James, I was not snooping. I was looking
11:45
Speaker 3: for headphones and I saw this debt letter in your bag.
11:48
Speaker 3: I'm really concerned and I want to help you. Please
11:51
Speaker 3: tell me what's going on. And he looked at me
11:54
Speaker 3: so calmly, and he just said, oh, it's all good.
11:59
Speaker 3: The bank made a mistake. And I'm like what, And
12:02
Speaker 3: he's like, the bank made a mistake. I've got a
12:04
Speaker 3: letter work that retracts that debt letter that they sent me.
12:08
Speaker 3: I just said, the bank does not make a mistake
12:11
Speaker 3: like that. He was like, no, I'm telling you the truth.
12:14
Speaker 3: The bank made a mistake, and when I go to
12:17
Speaker 3: work tomorrow, I'll send you the letter. And we got
12:20
Speaker 3: into quite a big argument, and I ended up just
12:23
Speaker 3: getting my stuff and leaving. I went and spent the
12:25
Speaker 3: afternoon with my friends, but I did not discuss it
12:27
Speaker 3: with them, And then I came home and I just
12:30
Speaker 3: said to him, you have one opportunity to tell me
12:33
Speaker 3: the truth. Tell me what is going on. Eventually I
12:38
Speaker 3: got it out of him that he just stopped paying
12:41
Speaker 3: his mortgage repayments on his investment property and the bank
12:46
Speaker 3: took possession of it and sold it for less than
12:48
Speaker 3: what was worth, which is how he ended up with
12:50
Speaker 3: that ninety thousand dollars debt. I was so upset because
12:55
Speaker 3: I would have helped him. If he had said to me,
12:58
Speaker 3: I'm struggling with these mortgage repayments. I would have helped
13:01
Speaker 3: him pay half, or I would have not made him
13:04
Speaker 3: pay rent to live with me so he could focus
13:07
Speaker 3: on that. But it's the fact that he just completely
13:11
Speaker 3: hit it and didn't speak to me about it. It
13:14
Speaker 3: was kind of our light like because we were planning
13:17
Speaker 3: on buying house together and things like that, and so
13:20
Speaker 3: then with that big debt that was going to impact
13:24
Speaker 3: us like going forward, we weren't going to be able
13:26
Speaker 3: to buy a house together or anything like that. When
13:29
Speaker 3: he told me, he actually didn't have much emotion at all,
13:32
Speaker 3: and I guess it was the other way around. I
13:35
Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to cope. I don't even cope having
13:37
Speaker 3: like a few hundred dollars on my credit card, let
13:40
Speaker 3: alone losing a property and then having this massive ninety
13:44
Speaker 3: thousand dollars damp. It was months that he had just
13:47
Speaker 3: been living, and he'd been living this lie, and he
13:51
Speaker 3: showed no stress the way that he was living. I
13:55
Speaker 3: did not pick up at all that he was going
13:58
Speaker 3: through this massive obstacle in his life. He went to bed,
14:03
Speaker 3: he slept like normal, and Yeah, there was just no
14:07
Speaker 3: signs to pick up that he was dealing with this.
14:11
Speaker 3: And I felt sad for him as well. I felt
14:13
Speaker 3: sad that he dealt with that on his own. I
14:16
Speaker 3: was a mixed bag of feelings, So I guess at
14:19
Speaker 3: the start, yeah, I was in disbelief and then I
14:23
Speaker 3: was sad because I just knew that this would impact
14:28
Speaker 3: us years on. And so like I would go to
14:30
Speaker 3: work and I would drive in the car and i'd
14:32
Speaker 3: cry in the car, and then i'd get out and
14:34
Speaker 3: I'd like have my day of work, and then I
14:36
Speaker 3: would get home and I'd cry again. But it was
14:39
Speaker 3: all right. And then I went through a bit of
14:41
Speaker 3: anger and I got really angry with him and we'd
14:43
Speaker 3: get into arguments about it. But I feel like it
14:45
Speaker 3: was just because I wish he had have come to me.
14:48
Speaker 3: And I guess in a relationship, you are vulnerable and
14:52
Speaker 3: you tell your partner everything. And the fact that he
14:54
Speaker 3: was not willing to share that with me or allow
14:58
Speaker 3: me in that was quite hurtful as well. He actually
15:02
Speaker 3: asked me to not tell anyone. He didn't want me
15:05
Speaker 3: to share it with anyone, and he was really adamant, like,
15:08
Speaker 3: do not tell anyone about this. Yeah, I didn't want
15:12
Speaker 3: him to have that shame. When I found out that
15:15
Speaker 3: he'd lost the property, we actually went to see a counselor,
15:20
Speaker 3: and we went to a few counseling sessions, and the
15:24
Speaker 3: counselor actually said, you guys don't need to come anymore,
15:29
Speaker 3: and he was like, I see different couples all the time,
15:32
Speaker 3: and he was like, I sometimes think to myself, like,
15:35
Speaker 3: why are you even trying to fix this? You guys
15:37
Speaker 3: just need to break up. But he goes, I don't
15:39
Speaker 3: see that with you. You guys don't have anything else
15:42
Speaker 3: to work on. And I felt really confident in that.
15:46
Speaker 3: I really tried to push him into declaring bankruptcy because
15:51
Speaker 3: I just thought he could wipe it. It would be
15:54
Speaker 3: three years, but with declaring bankruptcy, you can't leave the country,
15:59
Speaker 3: and we had a big Europe trip planned and so
16:02
Speaker 3: he did not want to miss out on the Europe trip.
16:05
Speaker 3: He said that he would be able to afford it,
16:07
Speaker 3: and that he had already paid off most of the
16:10
Speaker 3: Europe trip, and so he was like, no, let's just
16:13
Speaker 3: do this dead agreement. I'll pay back a part of it.
16:16
Speaker 3: And then I was like, why didn't we move back
16:20
Speaker 3: to my parents? So I packed up my whole apartment,
16:23
Speaker 3: I packed up everything in that apartment, and we moved
16:28
Speaker 3: back to my parents and lived with my parents, just
16:31
Speaker 3: to try and save a bit more money. And I
16:33
Speaker 3: guess in relationships, you have to make sacrifices. And I
16:37
Speaker 3: was willing to make that sacrifice for him so he
16:39
Speaker 3: could still go to Europe and have the trip that
16:43
Speaker 3: we had been looking forward to for so long. I
16:46
Speaker 3: remember I was laying on the balcony like the night
16:49
Speaker 3: before we packed up, and I was laying in his lap,
16:51
Speaker 3: just crying because I did not want to move out,
16:53
Speaker 3: but I was still willing to do that for him.
16:56
Speaker 1: I feel like most people would agree going to Europe
16:58
Speaker 1: with a ninety thousand dollar debt to your name, it's
17:01
Speaker 1: not the wisest decision. Indeed, very much agreed, but James
17:06
Speaker 1: was an adult. The decision was his.
17:08
Speaker 3: I just thought that he needed to stay at home,
17:11
Speaker 3: needed to sort his finances out, and he really convinced
17:16
Speaker 3: me that he would be able to sort everything out.
17:19
Speaker 3: We sat down and we did a financial plan together,
17:22
Speaker 3: and we tried to do budgeting, and we created all
17:24
Speaker 3: different you know, the barefoot investor. We created all these
17:27
Speaker 3: different accounts for him so he could save for Europe.
17:31
Speaker 3: And I was convinced that he would be able to
17:34
Speaker 3: stick to that and he'd be able to afford it.
17:37
Speaker 3: He was a thirty one year old man that had
17:40
Speaker 3: an investment property, had a stable job and a stable income.
17:44
Speaker 3: And I just thought that it was up to him
17:47
Speaker 3: to make that grown up decision himself, and I was
17:51
Speaker 3: I was really looking forward to going. We had such
17:54
Speaker 3: an amazing trip booked and planned, and I did still
17:57
Speaker 3: want to go with him, but I just thought it
18:00
Speaker 3: would have been smarter for him to stay at home
18:03
Speaker 3: and deal with losing the property. And the other issue
18:08
Speaker 3: was is that he did not want to tell anyone
18:11
Speaker 3: in his life. He didn't want to tell his parents,
18:13
Speaker 3: he didn't want to tell any of his siblings, any
18:16
Speaker 3: of his friends, and I was really trying to encourage
18:19
Speaker 3: him to speak to them about it, but yeah, he's like, no,
18:23
Speaker 3: I don't want them to know. And I guess if
18:26
Speaker 3: he had a stayed home then that would have been
18:29
Speaker 3: alarm balles and they would have been wondering what was
18:32
Speaker 3: going on. So I think maybe that might have been
18:35
Speaker 3: another reason as well.
18:36
Speaker 1: So they moved in withind his parents, rented out her
18:39
Speaker 1: apartment to cover her mortgage, and saved as much as
18:42
Speaker 1: they could for six months before they jetted off on
18:44
Speaker 1: the trip of a lifetime.
18:48
Speaker 3: It was an amazing trip. We started off in Italy
18:50
Speaker 3: and he actually worked there for a bit, so he
18:54
Speaker 3: did a bit of work and yeah, we traveled all
18:56
Speaker 3: through Italy and then it got to Tuscany. We were
18:59
Speaker 3: in and he obviously doesn't have a credit card because
19:03
Speaker 3: he had a dead agreement, but he booked a higher
19:05
Speaker 3: car and they said you need to put a credit
19:08
Speaker 3: card down, and he's like, I don't have it. I
19:11
Speaker 3: tried to offer mine and they were like, no, the
19:14
Speaker 3: booking needs to be in your name if you're going
19:16
Speaker 3: to use your credit card. And then he offered up
19:20
Speaker 3: another option and he just said, look, you can put
19:22
Speaker 3: down five hundred euros off a debit card and then
19:26
Speaker 3: we will release that money when you return the car.
19:29
Speaker 3: And I just said, James, do that, that's fine, and
19:32
Speaker 3: he's like, I can't, and I'm like, what do you mean.
19:34
Speaker 3: He's like, I don't have five hundred euros. So he
19:37
Speaker 3: had come over to Europe with no money and he
19:41
Speaker 3: was relying on his weekly long service leave pay. That
19:45
Speaker 3: caused quite a few issues. I was really stressed and
19:49
Speaker 3: I said to him, how do you not have any
19:52
Speaker 3: money over here? Because if you get into an emergency,
19:56
Speaker 3: what are you going to do? And I wasn't going
19:58
Speaker 3: to be with him the whole time, so I said
20:01
Speaker 3: to him you know, when you're off traveling by yourself,
20:05
Speaker 3: if there is an emergency, message me and I will
20:07
Speaker 3: transfer your money if you need anything, and then we can't.
20:11
Speaker 3: I kind of didn't speak about it much after that,
20:14
Speaker 3: and he still was getting a weekly paid from his
20:17
Speaker 3: work from the long service leave salary, and then yeah,
20:22
Speaker 3: we traveled with other people, and so we were traveling
20:25
Speaker 3: all around Europe, and he kind of got into this
20:27
Speaker 3: awful cycle where he'd get paid and then he would
20:31
Speaker 3: spend all of his money and then it'll get to
20:33
Speaker 3: the end of the week and then he would rely
20:35
Speaker 3: on other people paying for him. So we would all
20:37
Speaker 3: take turns paying for dinners and things like that, and
20:40
Speaker 3: he would just never offer, and then it would get
20:43
Speaker 3: to his payday again and then he would pay everyone back,
20:47
Speaker 3: but then that meant that he was a few hundred
20:49
Speaker 3: dollars down. So it was just this cycle that he
20:53
Speaker 3: fell into throughout the whole trip. And then so we
20:57
Speaker 3: were actually over there as well for my thirtieth birthday,
21:00
Speaker 3: and so we were heading to our next destination for
21:05
Speaker 3: my birthday, and we were in an airport and it
21:09
Speaker 3: was like a layover, and I was sitting with my
21:12
Speaker 3: sisters and I saw him pacing around the airport and
21:17
Speaker 3: he was on the phone. He looked like he was crying.
21:20
Speaker 3: He was bright red, he was sweating bullets. And I
21:24
Speaker 3: was like to him, James, like what is going on?
21:26
Speaker 3: And you're okay? And he's like, it's fine. It's just
21:28
Speaker 3: a work thing. And I was like, you're on long
21:31
Speaker 3: service leave, like tell them to leave you alone. You
21:33
Speaker 3: don't need to be dealing with work things now. And
21:36
Speaker 3: he said, the payroll lady at work has gone away
21:40
Speaker 3: and I didn't get paid this week. And I was like,
21:43
Speaker 3: that can't happen. You can't just not get paid, Like
21:45
Speaker 3: message your boss right now and tell him that he
21:48
Speaker 3: needs to transfer you the money. And he's like, it's
21:50
Speaker 3: all good. I'll figure it out. And he walked off,
21:54
Speaker 3: and a few people that we were with or said
21:57
Speaker 3: is he okay? Like it does not look like it
21:59
Speaker 3: looks like something's going on, and he was adamant it
22:03
Speaker 3: was all fine. And then after that, he was drinking
22:08
Speaker 3: excessive amounts of alcohol when he really didn't need too,
22:12
Speaker 3: and I kept checking in on him and I just
22:14
Speaker 3: kept saying like, is everything okay? He saw he was
22:16
Speaker 3: like it's all fine, and then it got to my birthday,
22:20
Speaker 3: I had like the best day. There was thirteen of
22:22
Speaker 3: us that we were all together and we were on
22:25
Speaker 3: a boat and it was just such a lovely day.
22:27
Speaker 3: And then the day after, he said to me he'd
22:30
Speaker 3: organized something for my birthday, and I was like, I
22:33
Speaker 3: really don't want to do anything because I know that
22:35
Speaker 3: you're struggling financially, and so please just cancel whatever you've organized.
22:40
Speaker 3: And he said, no, it's all sorted like, we're still
22:43
Speaker 3: doing it. And so then as we were walking to
22:47
Speaker 3: what he had planned, he just broke down crying and
22:50
Speaker 3: he just said, I can't afford this, And so I
22:54
Speaker 3: paid for my own thirtieth birthday gift that he organized,
22:58
Speaker 3: which was at this beach club. And I felt so
23:01
Speaker 3: bad for him that I transferred him an extra few
23:04
Speaker 3: hundred dollars as well, because I knew that he was
23:06
Speaker 3: struggling with money and stuff over there too. I felt
23:10
Speaker 3: really bad for him. I just I could see that
23:12
Speaker 3: he was heartbroken, and it seemed like from his perspective,
23:17
Speaker 3: I just think that he thought he was letting me
23:19
Speaker 3: down for my birthday. And we still had a lovely day,
23:22
Speaker 3: and we kind of just didn't speak about it.
23:24
Speaker 1: This was exactly why India thought James going on this
23:27
Speaker 1: trip wasn't a good idea. But she was really caught
23:30
Speaker 1: between a rock and a hard place. They were already there,
23:33
Speaker 1: they were with a big group of friends, and she
23:35
Speaker 1: didn't want James to be embarrassed or feel like he
23:37
Speaker 1: wasn't good enough. Plus Indy's birthday was going to be
23:40
Speaker 1: the most expensive part and that was now behind them.
23:43
Speaker 1: He was still getting paid weekly while they were there,
23:46
Speaker 1: and as soon as they got home they were going
23:47
Speaker 1: to have some serious budgeting talks and get them both
23:50
Speaker 1: as a couple back on track.
23:52
Speaker 3: So then we get to Greece and we have an
23:57
Speaker 3: amazing time. And actually while we were in Greece, he said,
24:01
Speaker 3: let's start trying for kids. And I wanted to start
24:05
Speaker 3: a family so badly, and that was our plan that
24:07
Speaker 3: we were going to go to Europe, We're going to
24:09
Speaker 3: come home and we're going to save for another six
24:11
Speaker 3: months and then going to start trying. But he was like,
24:14
Speaker 3: let's just start now, and I was like, no, I
24:17
Speaker 3: don't think that's the right decision, Like, you need to
24:19
Speaker 3: sort your finances out. I need to save money as well.
24:22
Speaker 3: Babies are expensive we're not going to try now. I
24:26
Speaker 3: was still living with my parents and so we had
24:29
Speaker 3: planned to like come back, stay with them for a
24:31
Speaker 3: few more months and then move into a bigger property
24:34
Speaker 3: and then keep my place up for rant. But yeah,
24:37
Speaker 3: I just was like, it's not the right time to start.
24:40
Speaker 3: And that was something that I wanted so badly as
24:42
Speaker 3: well that it was like I was happy that he
24:44
Speaker 3: suggested it, but then I was like, no, like, I
24:47
Speaker 3: just don't think that it's the right time. We had
24:51
Speaker 3: gone engagement ring shopping, like he took me engagement ring
24:54
Speaker 3: shopping to try on different styles and figure out what
24:57
Speaker 3: I liked. And yeah, I just I thought I would
25:00
Speaker 3: have kids with him and I'd end up with him
25:03
Speaker 3: for the rest of my life. So yeah, I guess
25:07
Speaker 3: it was a bit like disheartening that we weren't at
25:09
Speaker 3: that stage. I knew we were get there eventually. So
25:13
Speaker 3: then I finish off our trip and the final island
25:17
Speaker 3: that we were going to, it was just James and
25:19
Speaker 3: I and we stayed at the most beautiful AIRBMB. It
25:24
Speaker 3: was so romantic and it was like at the very
25:27
Speaker 3: top of this hill and you could see the whole
25:29
Speaker 3: ocean and it had like this beautiful like infinity pool
25:32
Speaker 3: and we got there and at this stage he owed
25:36
Speaker 3: me quite a lot of money, and I just kind
25:39
Speaker 3: of gave up on asking. And then I had just
25:42
Speaker 3: paid quite a bit for the cod bikes and a
25:44
Speaker 3: few other things, and I said to him, can you
25:47
Speaker 3: just pay me a little bit of what you owe me?
25:49
Speaker 3: And he was like I can't, and I'm like why
25:52
Speaker 3: and he's like, because I got fired from work because
25:56
Speaker 3: I've been stealing money from them and they just found out.
26:00
Speaker 3: I just was in disbelief again. I was like, this
26:04
Speaker 3: cannot be happening. And so I actually just got my
26:07
Speaker 3: stuff and put my helmet on my cod bike and
26:10
Speaker 3: just drove off.
26:11
Speaker 2: I drove off, and I pulled to the side and
26:14
Speaker 2: I was just like hysterically crying because I just yeah,
26:17
Speaker 2: I was just like, surely not again.
26:20
Speaker 3: And so I called my sister and she was just
26:24
Speaker 3: in tears as well. On the phone. I was just like,
26:29
Speaker 3: this cannot.
26:30
Speaker 2: Be happening, and yeah, yeah, like an older Greek woman,
26:35
Speaker 2: she heard me crying on the side of the road
26:37
Speaker 2: and she came out to check on me. And then
26:40
Speaker 2: I composed myself and I think I was away from
26:45
Speaker 2: THEBB for about an hour, and then I went back
26:49
Speaker 2: and I just said to him, like, you need to
26:52
Speaker 2: tell me everything from start to finish, and yeah, he
26:55
Speaker 2: just said that over the space of two years, he'd
26:59
Speaker 2: stolen just under forty thousand dollars from them, and they
27:03
Speaker 2: had fired him and they were possibly going to press
27:07
Speaker 2: charges against him. And he found out when he was
27:11
Speaker 2: at the airport, and so he obviously received a call
27:15
Speaker 2: from his work asking him what was going on, and
27:19
Speaker 2: that was when it all kind of unfolded. And so
27:23
Speaker 2: he just kept saying that he didn't want to ruin
27:25
Speaker 2: the trip for me, and so that's why he didn't
27:28
Speaker 2: want me to find out until the very end.
27:30
Speaker 3: And he actually hadn't even planned on telling me. When
27:34
Speaker 3: he did, he Yeah, he just splitted it out and
27:37
Speaker 3: he just said, workers found out that I've been stealing
27:40
Speaker 3: from them and they fired me.
27:49
Speaker 1: Indy felt like she'd left her own life and was
27:52
Speaker 1: watching someone else's. This stuff didn't happen, not with someone
27:56
Speaker 1: she'd known, lived with and loved for three years. She
28:00
Speaker 1: had a million questions, but the most pressing one why.
28:04
Speaker 3: He just said that he got himself into a massive
28:07
Speaker 3: spiral and he just couldn't get out of it when
28:10
Speaker 3: he'd have I think he had quite a few fines
28:14
Speaker 3: that came from that debt of him losing the property
28:17
Speaker 3: and a few other debts. So then he would tap
28:20
Speaker 3: into some of that money and then he would use
28:24
Speaker 3: his salary to pay that back, but then something else
28:27
Speaker 3: would come up. And he just was not very responsible
28:30
Speaker 3: when it came to money either. Like he you know,
28:34
Speaker 3: saving you have to make sacrifices. You can't go out
28:37
Speaker 3: for dinner all the time, and you can't go off
28:39
Speaker 3: buying yourselves all these nice fancy things. But for him,
28:43
Speaker 3: there was no making sacrifices. It was he could just
28:48
Speaker 3: do everything in his mind. And then it made sense
28:53
Speaker 3: because whenever I'd say, James, like you owe me this,
28:58
Speaker 3: he would pay that money straight away, and it would
29:00
Speaker 3: have been because of that stolen money. So there was
29:04
Speaker 3: meant to be another week and we went home two
29:09
Speaker 3: days later. I was worried about him, and the first
29:12
Speaker 3: thing that I thought when I found out was that
29:14
Speaker 3: I just needed to get him home safely. So I
29:17
Speaker 3: changed our flights, so changed the fairies. We went home
29:20
Speaker 3: early the day after I actually took him out, and
29:23
Speaker 3: I tried to make it a fun day. We went
29:27
Speaker 3: to a few different beaches, and we went out for lunch,
29:30
Speaker 3: and we went out for dinner, and we just tried
29:32
Speaker 3: to enjoy the last day before we were going back
29:35
Speaker 3: home because I wanted to try and distract him. He
29:38
Speaker 3: was really struggling mentally as well, so he just was
29:42
Speaker 3: not in a good mental headspace. He did say he
29:45
Speaker 3: was going to take his own life, and he said
29:46
Speaker 3: that he'd thought about taking his own life a few times.
29:50
Speaker 3: Throughout that trip. It was like a lot and it
29:53
Speaker 3: was hard because it was like I was trying to
29:55
Speaker 3: process all of this, but then I was trying to
29:57
Speaker 3: be there to support him as well, and so yeah,
30:01
Speaker 3: I couldn't really process everything properly myself. And so the
30:07
Speaker 3: flights home they were tough, like it was a lot
30:10
Speaker 3: of tears and him trying to figure out, Okay, what's
30:14
Speaker 3: going to be my next career path. We got home
30:17
Speaker 3: and he went back to his parents and I went
30:21
Speaker 3: back to mine, and I wasn't going to break up
30:23
Speaker 3: with him, like I was still going to stay with
30:25
Speaker 3: him because I loved him, and I just kind of thought,
30:28
Speaker 3: you know, this is like a tough hurdle that we're
30:32
Speaker 3: facing but we're going to get through it. I just
30:35
Speaker 3: said that we needed some space because I was trying
30:38
Speaker 3: to process all of this. First, I was just trying
30:41
Speaker 3: to care about his welfare, and then I was like,
30:45
Speaker 3: I need to process this myself in my own space.
30:50
Speaker 3: Then I started slowly telling my friends what was going on.
30:54
Speaker 3: So I messaged a few of them and I just said,
30:58
Speaker 3: I'm letting you know I'm coming home early because this
31:00
Speaker 3: is a situation, and this is what's happened with James
31:03
Speaker 3: and the friends that we traveled with. Like one of
31:07
Speaker 3: my best friends, she was brought to tears by what
31:10
Speaker 3: had happened. She couldn't believe. And then my other friend,
31:13
Speaker 3: she was in America and she was like, I wanted
31:17
Speaker 3: to change my flight and come home early. So like,
31:19
Speaker 3: my friends were like so lovely and supportive through it all.
31:22
Speaker 3: And then my other friend that I was traveling with,
31:25
Speaker 3: I messaged her and I just said, look, I'm letting
31:27
Speaker 3: you know that me and James are on a break
31:28
Speaker 3: at the moment. He's had some real financial difficulties and
31:33
Speaker 3: he's basically been stealing from his work and they found
31:37
Speaker 3: out and they fired him and were trying to work
31:39
Speaker 3: through things and she messaged me back and she said, girl,
31:43
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. I didn't know how to tell you this.
31:47
Speaker 3: But James messaged my boyfriend and asked to borrow money
31:51
Speaker 3: and he lent him money and he's not paid him back.
31:56
Speaker 3: He lent him ay one hundred dollars. My heart just
32:00
Speaker 3: sunk and I just said not again, because I just
32:03
Speaker 3: was like, it's just one thing after another, When is
32:06
Speaker 3: this ever going to end. One of the worst parts
32:08
Speaker 3: about it was is that he actually told us a story.
32:12
Speaker 3: So my friend's boyfriend told us a story where one
32:15
Speaker 3: of his friends asked to borrow some money and he
32:19
Speaker 3: just never paid him back. And he kind of was like,
32:22
Speaker 3: you know, I never got the money back, but it
32:24
Speaker 3: is what it is, like I still respect him and
32:27
Speaker 3: I still see him as a good friend. And so
32:29
Speaker 3: James messaged him and in the message, he said, because
32:33
Speaker 3: you told me about what had happened with your friend,
32:37
Speaker 3: I feel comfortable coming to you because you know I'm
32:40
Speaker 3: good for it. So he took his kindness for weakness.
32:45
Speaker 3: He lied about transferring the money. He said that he
32:48
Speaker 3: transferred it to him and then he waited a few
32:51
Speaker 3: days and got nothing, and then he said, can you
32:54
Speaker 3: please send me a bank transfer receipt to show that
32:57
Speaker 3: you've actually transferred this money, and he sent a fake
33:00
Speaker 3: bank transfer receipt. I was so angry. I didn't feel
33:04
Speaker 3: sorry for him anymore. I didn't feel sad for him anymore.
33:07
Speaker 3: I was I was furious. I was just like, you know,
33:11
Speaker 3: you've done all of this, You've led me on, and
33:15
Speaker 3: you've lied to me, and now you're involving my friends
33:19
Speaker 3: in this. After that message, then I refused to speak
33:23
Speaker 3: to him. So I actually contacted his mom and I
33:27
Speaker 3: just said, he's done this again. I broke down in
33:30
Speaker 3: tears on the phone to her and I just said,
33:31
Speaker 3: why does this keep happening? Like why is he doing this?
33:35
Speaker 3: And she was devastated as well, and she's just said
33:39
Speaker 3: it's okay, we'll sort it out. Yeah, I said to
33:43
Speaker 3: his mom, tell him not to contact me. I need
33:46
Speaker 3: some space from him, and I'll speak to him when
33:48
Speaker 3: I'm ready. And then I, yeah, basically packed all of
33:54
Speaker 3: his stuff, every belonging that he had, into a bag.
33:57
Speaker 3: I packed it in my car. And you know, he'd
34:00
Speaker 3: already started telling people that we had broken up before
34:04
Speaker 3: we'd even had the conversation. So I was like upset
34:07
Speaker 3: because I was getting messages from his friend's girlfriends saying,
34:13
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, we've just heard about you and James.
34:16
Speaker 3: We're so sorry, and it's like we hadn't even had
34:20
Speaker 3: that conversation yet, and so then I was kind of like,
34:24
Speaker 3: that's it. So packed his stuff, I said, let's meet up,
34:28
Speaker 3: and yeah, we had a conversation, and I just said,
34:32
Speaker 3: I can't do this anymore, like you've yeah broke in
34:34
Speaker 3: my heart, like the fact that you've done all of
34:37
Speaker 3: this and you've lied to me. And I just actually
34:40
Speaker 3: put it to him like this. I said, you know,
34:43
Speaker 3: your sister is now dating a new person. I said,
34:47
Speaker 3: if your sister came to you and said to you,
34:51
Speaker 3: my boyfriend has done X, Y and Z, which is
34:54
Speaker 3: what you've done to me, what would your advice be
34:57
Speaker 3: to her? Would you say stay with him and give
34:59
Speaker 3: him another chance, even though you've already I already gave
35:03
Speaker 3: him so many chances. Or would you say break up?
35:06
Speaker 3: And he said break up? And I said, there you go.
35:10
Speaker 3: I was really hard. I had to get a lot
35:13
Speaker 3: of my stuff from him, and like all of my
35:18
Speaker 3: belongings were kind of stored at his parents' house and
35:22
Speaker 3: then we packed all of that stuff up together and
35:24
Speaker 3: put it in a storage unit, and he slipped this
35:27
Speaker 3: letter in my bag and he just said, I'm going
35:29
Speaker 3: to keep fighting for you until you tell me to stop.
35:33
Speaker 3: Even after that, I was like, you know what, I
35:36
Speaker 3: think that we will still get back together. And not
35:40
Speaker 3: that I had hope, but I just kind of thought.
35:42
Speaker 3: I always thought that he was my sole mate. He
35:44
Speaker 3: was going to be the person that i'd settled down
35:47
Speaker 3: with and be with for the rest of my life.
35:49
Speaker 3: And I just thought, you know, maybe he'll sort everything
35:52
Speaker 3: out and then we can start fresh again. And then
35:57
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that I saw this mutual friend because
36:01
Speaker 3: I ran into her. So this was a few months
36:03
Speaker 3: after the breakup and we kind of cut contact and
36:09
Speaker 3: I saw her and she was like to me, I'm
36:11
Speaker 3: so sorry about you and James like, I hope that
36:13
Speaker 3: you're okay, and I was like, oh, I know, like
36:17
Speaker 3: and she goes, you know, he's never going to change.
36:19
Speaker 3: He's always been like this, and I was like, what
36:21
Speaker 3: do you mean, and she's like, you know, he did
36:23
Speaker 3: this when he was in his early twenties and I
36:26
Speaker 3: was like what, and she's like, yeah, he stole twenty
36:29
Speaker 3: one grand from two people at this local sports club
36:33
Speaker 3: as well, and I was again just in shock, but
36:38
Speaker 3: I just felt so validated. He was a repeat offender
36:42
Speaker 3: with these sorts of behaviors to do with money. It
36:46
Speaker 3: really reassured me that I made the right decision in
36:51
Speaker 3: not being with him, and it stopped me from holding
36:55
Speaker 3: on to hope that we'd ever get back together. I
36:59
Speaker 3: was absolutely heartbroken because, like I said, I thought that
37:02
Speaker 3: I was going to be with him for the rest
37:04
Speaker 3: of my life, and I actually I didn't imagine a
37:08
Speaker 3: life without him, and so it was so much to
37:12
Speaker 3: process all of that going on, but then also having
37:15
Speaker 3: to deal with a breakup that I never thought, yeah,
37:19
Speaker 3: that I never anticipated as well. So yeah, it was
37:23
Speaker 3: really tough. I missed all of the things about our relationship.
37:28
Speaker 3: We had such a great relationship. That was the sad
37:30
Speaker 3: part of it, that we were so happy together and
37:34
Speaker 3: there were so many positives. He was such a great person,
37:37
Speaker 3: and that's why it kind of shocked everyone. It didn't
37:42
Speaker 3: just shock me. It shocked my family, It shocked all
37:45
Speaker 3: of our friends and everything like that, because I just
37:48
Speaker 3: didn't think that he was capable of doing something like that.
37:51
Speaker 3: It made me realize I had no idea who I
37:54
Speaker 3: was dating for three years, and that scared me. And
37:58
Speaker 3: it scared me that there was so much about him
38:01
Speaker 3: that I didn't know and I had no idea about,
38:04
Speaker 3: and that he hid from me and kept from me.
38:06
Speaker 3: And the even scarier thing was how good he was
38:10
Speaker 3: at put on this facade and lying. And yeah, he
38:15
Speaker 3: was such a good liar. It was like ignorance is
38:19
Speaker 3: bliss and out of sight, out of mind kind of thing.
38:22
Speaker 3: So I think that's how he went on. And I
38:26
Speaker 3: think he just thought, in his mind, if I don't
38:30
Speaker 3: believe that this is happening, it's not actually happening.
38:32
Speaker 1: She never really got any proper answers as to why
38:35
Speaker 1: James did all this, why he was so bad with money,
38:38
Speaker 1: why he lied while he stole and ripped off his
38:41
Speaker 1: own friends.
38:42
Speaker 3: But there was.
38:43
Speaker 1: One thing in all of this she couldn't begin to
38:45
Speaker 1: move on from without asking.
38:47
Speaker 3: When we broke up, I said to him, I was like,
38:51
Speaker 3: what were you doing in Europe trying to have a
38:55
Speaker 3: child with me? Were you trying to trap me? And
38:58
Speaker 3: he just said, I was just so excited about our
39:01
Speaker 3: future together. I'm really good at compartmentalizing, and I was
39:06
Speaker 3: just compartmentalizing what was going on and just thinking about
39:09
Speaker 3: our future. And yeah, that as well. I was just like,
39:13
Speaker 3: I can't believe that he, yeah, basically tried to baby
39:18
Speaker 3: trap me too. I'm sad that it worked out the
39:21
Speaker 3: way that it did, but I'm so grateful that I
39:25
Speaker 3: got out when I did, and that we didn't start
39:28
Speaker 3: that next chapter of having a child together, because that
39:30
Speaker 3: would have just made things so much more complex. And
39:34
Speaker 3: I don't want my future father of my children to
39:39
Speaker 3: be a liar the way that he was. I would
39:43
Speaker 3: never want anyone to think that because he had this
39:46
Speaker 3: big debt that was the reason that I broke up
39:49
Speaker 3: with him. I gave him so many chances. I uplifted
39:52
Speaker 3: my whole life, moved back to my parents, we went
39:55
Speaker 3: to counseling, we tried to work through everything. I gave
39:58
Speaker 3: him so many chances, and it wasn't just about that.
40:02
Speaker 3: It was about the lies and the deceit that just
40:05
Speaker 3: I couldn't get over. He kept making me complicit in
40:10
Speaker 3: his lies too. I did not appreciate, and we kept
40:15
Speaker 3: arguing about it because there was one time where one
40:18
Speaker 3: of his family members actually said so you guys are
40:21
Speaker 3: moving back to your parents, and James still has his
40:24
Speaker 3: investment property, doesn't he And I had to lie to
40:28
Speaker 3: her because I didn't want to share that because he'd
40:34
Speaker 3: asked me not to say anything. And I kept saying
40:37
Speaker 3: to him, you need to start telling people because I
40:40
Speaker 3: don't want to be complicit in this lie. You need
40:44
Speaker 3: to come up with something, whether it's you've sold the
40:46
Speaker 3: property or you no longer have possession of it or
40:48
Speaker 3: something like that. And yeah, it was just it kind
40:53
Speaker 3: of was a bit of a snowball effect. It wasn't
40:57
Speaker 3: about the money. It was about the fact that he
40:59
Speaker 3: kept lying and he kept putting me in the same
41:02
Speaker 3: position over and over again. He was in a really
41:06
Speaker 3: awful situation. But I had to put myself first because
41:09
Speaker 3: I couldn't keep getting lied to again and again. He's
41:14
Speaker 3: said this to a lot of people, that he's going
41:16
Speaker 3: to work really hard on himself to try and get
41:19
Speaker 3: me back. And I actually saw someone not long ago,
41:23
Speaker 3: and she said to me, I saw him not long ago,
41:26
Speaker 3: and he said that he's working on himself to get
41:28
Speaker 3: you back, and I said, that's never going to happen.
41:30
Speaker 3: I will never date him ever again. After all of
41:34
Speaker 3: the things that I found out, and she goes, oh, like,
41:37
Speaker 3: you know, he's told me. And I was like, well,
41:39
Speaker 3: did he tell you this and this and this and this,
41:42
Speaker 3: And she's like, no, he didn't tell me that. So
41:45
Speaker 3: I think that he tells people one side of the
41:50
Speaker 3: story that actually happened. It took me a few months
41:55
Speaker 3: to kind of deal with the whole breakup, and I
41:59
Speaker 3: went through my stages of sad anger, you know, stages
42:03
Speaker 3: of grief. And now I'm back living in my place.
42:08
Speaker 3: I'm really happy. I love having my own space again,
42:11
Speaker 3: and I'm dating, and you know, I'm on the apps,
42:16
Speaker 3: but they can be pretty tragic, but I'm having fun.
42:19
Speaker 3: So I'm just trying to keep myself busy, spend lots
42:23
Speaker 3: of time with friends and family, and I'm in a
42:26
Speaker 3: really good place now. I really want to go back
42:29
Speaker 3: to Europe, and I still had an amazing time in
42:32
Speaker 3: Europe regardless of everything that happened. But I'm hoping to
42:37
Speaker 3: go back by myself and make some new memories and yeah,
42:42
Speaker 3: hopefully I can eventually meet the person of my dreams
42:47
Speaker 3: that doesn't lie to me and break my trust. I've
42:51
Speaker 3: always been a big believer that trust is there until
42:54
Speaker 3: it's broken, and that's what I feel like it was
42:56
Speaker 3: with James. I had no reason not to trust him,
43:00
Speaker 3: and I'm hoping that going forward, I can take that
43:05
Speaker 3: into new relationships as well. I really do hope that
43:08
Speaker 3: he can sort himself out, he can sort his life out,
43:11
Speaker 3: he can get back on track, and he is a
43:14
Speaker 3: good person. He has a good heart, and he's just
43:17
Speaker 3: made some really stupid decisions. And I hope that he
43:21
Speaker 3: can learn from these decisions and these mistakes and that
43:25
Speaker 3: he doesn't make them going forward. I just won't be
43:28
Speaker 3: around to see it.
43:45
Speaker 1: Everyone Has an Ex is a Minti Media production and
43:48
Speaker 1: proudly part of the Mum and mea network. It's written
43:51
Speaker 1: and narrated by me Georgia Love and produced by Linda Scott.
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