Latest / Inchstones with Sarah | Autism Advocacy & Caregiver Stories / SupportNow: Because Life’s Harder Than Just Cash and Casseroles

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SupportNow: Because Life’s Harder Than Just Cash and Casseroles · Inchstones with Sarah | Autism Advocacy & Caregiver Stories

• 0:01
  Speaker A: Well, I'm going to say hey, y'all, because we got Jordan Araghetti out of south Southern part of the states, out of Atlanta.
• 0:07
  Speaker B: Correct? That's right.
• 0:09
  Speaker A: And. And Jordan is the founder and CEO of SupportNow, which came to my attention recently. And I am just thrilled to have her on the Instance podcast today to discuss what Support now does, but also her why, her backstory, and how we as mothers connect, help, support, and like I always say, we tend and befriend we. That we are innately wired to tend and befriend other moms. So thank you for being here.
• 0:36
  Speaker B: Thank you so much for this opportunity.
• 0:38
  Speaker A: So tell me about your why and why you started Support Now.
• 0:43
  Speaker B: Yeah, so it's interesting. I am very honest that I don't approach Support now from really the perspective of. Of a family or a mom, having gone through an enormous amount of tough times. My perspective, my approach, my why on supportnow actually comes from being a supporter. So I have been on the receiving end of the text message, the phone call, the email, the Facebook notification that someone I love is going through something, whether that's a kid in the nicu, chronic illness, a sudden diagnosis, breast cancer, house fire, natural disaster loss. I've been through that like everybody, because we've all been through it, right? These major life moments that are part of life. And the observation I kept having was just how chaotic it felt, not just for the family, but for all those people that knew and loved that family. And so there was kind of this moment during COVID where I was sitting down with my husband, and I thought, man, it's so strange to me that everyone wants to do something, but they don't know what to do. And we kind of live in this culture of cash and casseroles. You know, You've got your GoFundMe for money, your meal train for food. And at the same time, I was having conversations with my friends, and I was learning that while those things were directionally helpful, it didn't actually encompass all the things that they really needed. They needed help with their dog or their other child. They wanted prayer. They wanted people to come visit them. And so my background is in technology sales. And so when I was kind of looking at the, quote, like, competitive landscape in this supporter space, I found it to be very peculiar that you have your GoFundMe and one. One angle, you have your meal train somewhere else, you have your caring bridge somewhere else, and then you have this, like, everything elseness that either lived in a spreadsheet, maybe a signup Genius, but oftentimes just fell through the cracks. And that drove me crazy. And that became like my obsession. My obsession became there's gotta be a better way to serve families, to bless families in all the ways that we as humans are capable of doing, but to do it all in one place. People want to show up. They just don't know all that they're capable of doing. And so we feel so passionate about this opportunity to not necessarily to like, like, teach, but to almost like retrain humans how to show up. In the villages that we used to show up, where you just, you do the thing, because we're all capable of it. But to use technology to better prompt people towards the behaviors that we know families actually need to normalize, support work beyond just meals and money. Again, not to say that those things are bad and we support those things and we do those things, but to say that oftentimes support is so much broader than the tools that are provided to us. And so we want to provide a really, a more flexible place to do that, and frankly, a more compassionate and empathetic place to do that.
• 3:52
  Speaker A: Gosh, I could hear you talk about this all day. Because I, I, I feel your own per. Like I. There was a quote that says, you know, when you find out what your, your purpose in life is, to find out what breaks your heart and do something to change that. And you're able to use your skill set in the background in technology sales to facilitate this, because it sounds like while you didn't experience the personal loss or grief, you saw a way to support and heal something that is not offered. Because I know, as when I was in my own struggle and you know, my, what I consider first of many rock bottoms, my ability to touch base and be so vulnerable in those moments of life shifts and diagnoses for my children, if I, if my sister and best friend had known about support now and how it is being used, that could have been easily disseminated to them because they know what I need. But my every. Everyone doesn't know what I need. My neighbor doesn't know what I need. But I got a wonderful card from this sweet couple that's transplanted from Chicago. They will never know what I need. And I think that your ability to connect that community, the psychology behind the village, and using it in the environment of today's day and age is huge.
• 5:09
  Speaker B: Well, and I appreciate that. And there is a lot of psychology in the way that we've designed this, because what we know to be true is that families, especially in the early part of a diagnosis, God forbid, or a hospitalization, certainly loss, they're going through decision fatigue. They don't know what they need. And so what we wanted to, what we wanted to offer to families and communities is a space where two things can be true at the same time. There can be an enormous amount of support for a family and love for a family and well intentioned desires to show up in a lot of ways that we want to honor and we want to give space for families to feel like there's a shield so they don't have to answer redundant questions over and over again. And so like, we like, our goal is to like create space for all of those things to be true at the same time. So, you know, not to get too technical on this call, but there's just like so much flexibility in what we do and how we do it. So if, if, if you know what you need, great, put it down. But if you don't know what you need, that's fine too because you'll see through support now we allow people to proactively offer a hand in categories that make sense for them. And so what that does is it alleviates that stress that supporters feel when they feel guilty that they haven't done the thing they want to do or they feel like they haven't done enough.
• 6:25
  Speaker A: Right.
• 6:25
  Speaker B: We want to, we want to make them feel like, okay, well, you can move on from that guilt. You've acknowledged what's happening. You, you've put it out there in reducing overwhelm for families that we know need help, but they can't quite articulate what that is because what either the trauma of the moment, the shock of the moment, or just they're just tired. They're just tired. And so again, we're early in our journey and to your point about moms, you know, I know that women and moms, we tend to be the leaders on that. And that's where we're really leaning into moms on this, to kind of spread the word about, you know, about there's a better way, a better way.
• 7:02
  Speaker A: You know, I think it all comes down to the sense of feeling seen and heard and loved. You know, you can be grieving and still feel love and you can indecision, fatigue and still feel supported. And it doesn't come from cash, it doesn't come from the meal and then constantly saying, okay, just reminder, my so and so has celiac. You know, those things that can become just energy draining, you know, to, to anyone.
• 7:26
  Speaker B: Sarah, that I would love to make Is like, I have learned so much through talking to our customers and through, you know, just my own network. I mean, I've probably talked to thousands of people at this point. You know, they always remind me that even in a state of grief, you never forget who reached out and who didn't. And I think supporters tend to be very apprehensive to reach out because they're so afraid of doing and saying the wrong thing. And that, honestly, is, like, the thing that, like, makes me the saddest because no one, like, for me, it's very. I. That's not a struggle for me. Like, I. I'm gonna. I'm gonna send the text, I'm gonna send the voice. I'm gonna knock on your door. And that's my personality. And I see a really unique opportunity through support now to alleviate that stress that supporters feel so that they don't create awkwardness in a future state, friendship, because they didn't reach out at the time that they needed to. And so that's. You know, there are some. Some really large, like, I guess, like.
• 8:27
  Speaker A: Relationship dynamic, like a relationship science, big.
• 8:30
  Speaker B: Things that we're trying to, like, make better in the world. Because what we've learned, especially about our society, is that we tend to regress very quickly when we feel uncomfortable. We don't like our society, our culture. Like, we don't tend to lean into the things that make us uncomfortable. We tend. We tend to, like, move out. And that causes strains on relationships long term. And while I haven't, you know, I haven't been through a crazy amount of tough times, but, you know, I have experienced loss, and, you know, I remember I always use this story, but when I lost my grandfather, like, I distinctly remember the people that reached out, and I remember the few friends of mine that did it. And I just want to make sure that we. We. We make it clear to supporters that there are lots of ways to show up and not to be so afraid of. Of showing up in the wrong way, just to show up in. In a way that makes that, like, feels good and is so authentic.
• 9:17
  Speaker A: Totally. I. I had a. A guest on the podcast that I recorded with last week who's a friend and author named Hannah Pryor, and she actually wrote a book called Good Awkward. Mm.
• 9:27
  Speaker B: I love it.
• 9:27
  Speaker A: Leaning in. It's so great, right? Like, bl. Like, like awkwardness. She. She uses this example in her talks about how why do we shame or feel so vulnerable in a career or in a personal relationship to ask a question that we've, like, been Conditioned to see as awkward. We don't shame them or asking for help. We. But we, as we age, we. We have con. Been conditioned to think that I shouldn't need help for that. You know, and so it's like the story we tell ourselves gets conditioned and we have to. We have to really acknowledge and take the reins on that. Because, yes, while it can be awkward, that actually furthers the relationship down the road. And I'll never forget that.
• 10:11
  Speaker B: Right? That's right. And again, once you experience that, I think that when you're on the other side, again, particularly with grief, once you've seen friends that lean into that awkwardness, it really reframes the way that you approach that situation moving forward. I just don't think that you should have to wait to have to experience something to know what to do. That's right. And how to show up.
• 10:31
  Speaker A: Well. And you use the word grief. You know, I've been speaking a lot to how grief looks different and is not just the loss of a, you know, human life. It's. It can be a loss of a limb, like say, say a friend, you know, has a, you know, an amputation or they are in active combat, military veteran, you know, loss is anything. Loss is loss. And I believe that grief is the receipt that you loved what you previously experienced. Right. Grief is the receipt that. Saying, I loved that part that no longer exists. And, you know, specifically in my. The world that I hope to serve, which is neurodivergent families, but also specifically special needs moms, you know, we have experienced loss, and the loss is of the child that we expected to have. And that is real, even though it's not as physical as a loss of a person or of a parent or a child. And I would never take away from the incredible depth of that. However, it can still sit right next to it. And so I think about an aspect of support now for when parents are getting diagnoses how I wish I had had my sister or best friend set up something like this, saying, who can give Morgan a ride to school for Sarah? That would be huge.
• 11:53
  Speaker B: That's right.
• 11:54
  Speaker A: Because that's what I needed because I couldn't handle that. And it doesn't mean like, it's less than. They're just different ways to help. Talk to me a little bit more about the other aspect, the grant aspect that you have launched as well with SupportNow.
• 12:07
  Speaker B: So, yeah, so for context, the product that I was primarily referring to just now is what we call our registry. But one of the most common questions we would get throughout this last year was from families saying hey, you know, I love what you did. You do. I wish I would have had this when you know, my, my daughter was diagnosed or when my spouse passed away. And I kind of feel like I've tapped out my, tapped out my community. I feel like I can't really go back and crowdfund or do some of these things, you know. Do you have any advice for people that might be further along in the journey but still need financial support specifically? And we really struggled with that response for a while and it, and it, and it bothered me because like, like any good human, I want to serve everyone that's going through all, all of these crazy tough times. And so we saw, we, we came across an amazing woman who I highly suggest everyone follow right after this named Abby. Her Instagram handle is Advocacy Abby. She is a 10 out of 10 human. Her son had a near drowning accident which left him wheelchair bound forever non verbal. Just like in a moment her whole life changed. He was 18 months old when the incident happened and she became an expert at identifying grants. That's her superpower, finding grants and helping families fundraise. And so I met Abby in the spring of this year and she showed me all the work that she does to all the hard work that she's done to put together all of these grants in a spreadsheet. And I thought, and I thought man, there's, there's something here. There's something. And to make a long story short, we decided to, to build a piece of technology for Abby and, and to build a partnership with her so that she could serve many more families than she could currently serve. And, and, and we could solve a big part of our mission which is to help families and, and types of major life moments. So we also in addition to the registry product, offer a product product called Connect. And Connect is a free tool. It is the largest database of active sortable grants on the Internet. So think grants for medical costs, think grants for equipment or therapies or respite. We are literally adding to it every single day. It's a, it's, it's great. I mean you just plug in your email address where you live kind of what's the situation as the diagnosis and then it will automatically generate a list of grants that you qualify for. And the goal is again very similar to our registry product is to reduce overwhelm. I have become very passionate along this journey of, of serving what I feel is a, is a very underserved community of special needs moms. I've seen the exhaustion in their faces and their voices, the despair. And what's striking to me is that it's not that there aren't resources, there are. It's just hard to decipher between all of them and what you might be eligible for and what feels right for you. So I joke that connect is almost like the chat GPT of grants where you just give us a little bit of information and like we do the work of spitting that out. And what's really nice is that when you save your search or save a profile is that we will, we will notify you if a new grant becomes available that you're eligible for. So it's not something that you have to constantly revisit. Once you create a profile, it's there, it's saved. And then, you know, of course the goal is that over time, God forbid you find yourself in a place where you do need a registry or you do need a crowdfund because oftentimes these things evolve, is that, you know, we've earned your trust to be the place that you do that. But first it's leading with as much value as possible and to reduce just the time and energy that we know these moms primarily don't have. But they still need the outcomes, they still need financial support, and we're looking to get that.
• 16:05
  Speaker A: As someone who's gone through and seen all that's offered and all the grants that are available, I, I, I suppose I, I, I was sadly so naive to the fact that even respite care was something that would be provided for by a grant. You know, and I think a lot of women like myself, when you're in the minutiae of all these day to day things that are so normal for me that like it's Tuesday, the kids are gonna get home and I'm gonna have about 40 minutes and it is off to the therapy races. And that's my norm. But that takes so much more energy in different ways than a typical mother. Tuesday afternoons with, and that's okay, but I can acknowledge that and say, I wish I could find these things to help. My reserve tanks are empty. My adrenal glands produce as much, you know, cognitive like presence today that it can. I think, you know, just the acknowledgment from the, from the parent and mother that like, it's okay to utilize this. And it does take, and you, you guys have done the work and well.
• 17:09
  Speaker B: And I think at the, at the, at the foundation of all of this, one of the primary like thematics or primary things that I'm trying to get after or trying to get out, especially with moms, is that it is okay to ask and accept help, period. Like, it is, you know, like, that's. Is okay to ask and accept help. And once you are willing to ask and accept help, we are here to help you. You know, we can't help the mom. That's. That's saying, I'm. I will do this myself. I can shoulder this on my own. I've learned in talking to psychiatrists and psychologists about this, in the journey of building this company, that part of what makes it hard for moms, especially to accept help and ask is shame. Like, deep, deep down, it's rooted in shame. We feel some sort of innate responsibility for the circumstance that you're in, as messed up and as bad as that.
• 18:04
  Speaker A: Is to say, oh, yeah.
• 18:06
  Speaker B: And so one of the things that, you know, I, you know, would love is that we just kind of begin to shift this culture where we don't need, of course, like, we are who we are. Like, and that's a motherly instinct.
• 18:20
  Speaker A: Feel like this response, very primal.
• 18:22
  Speaker B: I'm a mom. I've got, you know, three kiddos, six. Like, I get that. And if we would just be a little bit more receptive to saying, I don't need to do it all. And that, more importantly, there are people that want. Want to bless me. Let them do that. Your life. Your life doesn't get better, but their lives get better because that's ultimately, like, why we were. Why we were put here. We were put. Put here to serve others, to, like, that is like, I'm Jewish. And like, we talk about, like, mitzvot. Like, that is a good deed. Like, you're. You're designed to, like, do those things. And so, yes, that's something that, you know, our tools can do, have a lot of power. But the ultimate decision lies in the family's acceptance that there are people that want to do something for you, and you have to be willing to let them do that.
• 19:10
  Speaker A: I mean, I could go down the shame rabbit hole with you on Brene Brown's research, have her wholehearted parenting manifesto on my wall. I mean, I believe so much in the ridding of shame and then leaning so big into vulnerability, because that's what this all is. This is just saying, being. Being stripped down of all the. And saying, I'm going to be so wildly and radically vulnerable to ask for help or to just even start the conversation to your point. It's not just for you. I Mean let's, let's call a spade of spade. People do enjoy. You get something from giving. You get something so beautifully luxurious for your heart by giving. It's hard to be the recipient. I will be the first to say that that is very hard. And you feel so maybe what's the word? Like, like me, like I'm the one accepting this. You know, I can't believe that I let myself get to this position where I have to accept this kind of help. And I think working through that, you can start to see how it isn't just you, it's us and we get to do this. I always say that's one of the things that rises so much from hard grief or times in life that are so challenging through trauma is that no, I get to heal from this. I don't have to. I get to, I get to help someone. I don't have to help anyone. I get to help that person. And it creates such more of a, a beautifully emotional alignment. And I think to your point, before it continues the relationship because when these things happen, if you don't reach out or you don't ask for it, those relationships will die. Yeah, you know.
• 20:45
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's right. I completely agree.
• 20:48
  Speaker A: So talk to me about how simple and easy it is for someone create that registry page on supportnow. I anticipate being listeners to an episode like this are the ones that are wanting to help someone.
• 21:02
  Speaker B: Yeah, great question. So there's again, flexibility is like the name of the game here. So it I see about in our data it's about a 50, 50 split already of who creates a registry. So it is not unusual for the mom for, you know, for someone in the family to create the registry for themselves. Totally normal. And it is not unusual, as I say, to have the maid of honor type create the registry. So think your best friend, your, your neighbor, your colleague, your sister in law. So that's also very, very prevalent. It's very easy. Again, both tools I talked about today are completely free. And, and the unique thing about the registry is that families can keep more of the money. In fact, families can keep a hundred percent of the money when supporters round up through support now. So even if the only thing you need is money, you can turn off mules and turn off volunteer support and just fundraise with us. That's, that's totally fine. Again, we're not here to tell you how to use it. We just want to give you the options to use the things that you might need along the way. And so the technology I mean, I designed it for a busy mom, right? I designed it. We designed it rather for. And we know the people that are doing this, they're, they're probably the best friend that also have young kids of their own. And so, so I, I expect that. And so, you know, you can access everything via. It's not an app, but it's mobile responsive, so you can access it via your phone on a desktop. It takes like a few clicks. You can customize your registry as you go. And again it, I always say, like, progress, not perfection. You don't need to know every single detail of like what Sarah needs to get the community started on this. The most important thing is just to, just to create it, get it out there. Because a lot of times your community will inform what is possible. Too often we rely on the family to give us direction, which again, I respect and I understand. But more times than not, like people, families would be amazed what happens if you're actually just make this like community led, like, let's go see what your community wants to do and they want to do this and how they want to support you. And then over time you can customize it and turn things on and off. And you know, we've seen registries where, you know, it's, it starts out like super, super heavy childcare, dog care, and then it turns into fundraising and then it turns into food and then it goes back to, you know, so these things can stay with you along your journey as things evolve. But it's very, very simple. Again, both tools are completely free. I want to just reemphasize that. And, and we're early. Like I said this to you, Sarah. Like, we've only been around for a year, but We've got about 26,000 users using support now. We've raised over $1.4 million for families in cash donations. And I say all that to say that we have enough traction to show me that people get this and they see value in it and we're early in the sense that we want feedback. Like it means, it means a great deal to me when people say, of course I love positive feedback. But hey, you know, I noticed, you know, this, this could be made easier for me or could you add a dropdown for something like this? So I, I always say, well, you know, my husband's a co founder, our CTO is a meal. Like we're building this company on the backs of moms and women. Like, my job is to serve that audience and to serve them really, really well. So the more feedback I get, the more I can enhance the experience to make it better for the next mom. And so I see that for, you know, for people that are willing to try something new, to break from the caring bridge or the meal trainer GoFundMe, what you get is a new experience, but you also get to be a part of building something very, very meaningful. And our goal is. Our goals are very ambitious. Our goal is to serve millions of families, and I think we're on our way to do that.
• 24:45
  Speaker A: Well, you're living the inch zone mentality. I mean, like I always say, this, this. This word obviously rose up in me through my lived experience, and I realized quickly that it wasn't just about celebrating the small wins of my special needs children. It was a lens of life. And you're. You're doing that through. Through support. Now. What you're doing right now, first year, is only just that small little inch by inch to lead you to whatever, whatever that destination and desire for you and your purpose. I mean, women, we are wired as people to have our purpose aligned and helping.
• 25:22
  Speaker B: Yep.
• 25:23
  Speaker A: I mean, that's just a tribal, primal, primal nature of women. And I. And I think that you are doing it so beautifully, and I'm so thankful for your work. I'm so thankful for how deeply you lean in for sharing this conversation. And I wish. I wish everyone, every mother in any capacity across the entire world can hear just what, what goodness you're providing in that sense of community for other moms. So thank you and thank you for being here today.
• 25:48
  Speaker B: I appreciate it. You're doing amazing work.
• 25:50
  Speaker A: All right.
• 25:50
  Speaker B: You said something earlier that I wanted to correct you on because you said, I'm trying to serve the special needs of community. You are, you are. And you're doing it so well. And I value this opportunity and look forward to continuing to serve in whatever capacity we can.
• 26:07
  Speaker A: Wonderful. Well, thank you so much.
• 26:09
  Speaker B: Thank you.
• 26:10
  Speaker A: Next time on the insurance podcast. See y'all later.