Latest / Masterminds Podcast / You’re Stressed Because You’re Focusing on the Wrong Things || Masterminds Podcast EP26

Transcript

You’re Stressed Because You’re Focusing on the Wrong Things || Masterminds Podcast EP26 · Masterminds Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Masterminds Podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I believe your greatest strength lies within your mind, and this is the space where we sharpen it.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your guide on this excellent journey as we discuss powerful ideas, have interesting conversations that will take you on that road to long-term success.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: My goal is to help you to truly find yourself and become the mastermind you are meant to be.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, overworked, too busy, too much going on in your mind, burnt out, it could possibly be because you are trying to fix things that you are not meant to fix.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: You are trying to fix things that are out of your control and out of your influence.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to teach you a concept that I learned from Stephen Covey.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: The circle of influence.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now the fact that you are here watching this video already tells me you are the kind of person who is looking for growth, who's looking for clarity, who wants to be able to achieve in life.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now, to do that, you need to master where to concentrate your energy.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: So Stephen Covey explains that if you look at everything in your life that you think about, you can put them in two separate circles.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: So there's the larger circle, which we call the circle of concern.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: So now the circle of concern has every single thing that you think about in this world.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, from what you're going to eat tomorrow to the taxes, to the weather, to your job, to Elon Musk's wife, to everything going on in the world that you are concerned about falls in your circle of concern.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Then there's a second circle within the circle of concern, which is your circle of influence.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, in this circle, there are the things that you can actually do something about.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: The things in your life you have influence over.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: To truly find yourself, to truly find peace, you need to concentrate your energy on your circle of influence.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, you know what?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Let me take it one step further.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Even inside your circle of influence, there's a smaller circle which we call the circle of control.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, these are the things you have a hundred percent control over.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: So energy, unfortunately, is not unlimited.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: We do have a limited amount of energy.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: All of us have the same 24 hours every day, same seven days a week.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: So for people who want to be highly effective and very productive, you need to concentrate your energy on things that you can actually do something about.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So when you are looking at how to achieve in life, how to do things the way you want them to be done, you have to start concentrating on things in your circle of control, then circle of influence, and completely ignore the things in the circle of concern.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So let me explain it like this.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: What's in your circle of control are all to do with internal things.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: The decisions you make, the actions that you take, what you believe, what you learn, what you do, these things are in your control because the only person you need to get it done is yourself.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: This is where your true power lies.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of focusing on things outside your control, you master the things inside your control, like building your value, making better decisions, better planning of your time.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, your time management is very, very key.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Conservation of your energy.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: These are things that help you master yourself.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the more you are able to control yourself by handling the things in the circle of control, the more influence you begin to have, which allows you to grow your circle of influence.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: So when I say influence, I'm talking about being a boss or a leader, means you influence your followers.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Having a good social media account or good social media pages means you can influence people on social media.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Being a TV presenter, a radio presenter means you can influence the public.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Being a politician means you can influence a country, a coach can influence players.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: So when first you build your value, which allows other people to see the value in you, now you tend to influence those people and get more things done.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: So now the funny thing about this is the more you concentrate on your smaller circles, on the things you have control over, and the things you have influence over, the more your level of influence grows.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: So imagine you start a business, you are the only employee, so solopreneur, all you can do is do everything by yourself, right?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And as time goes and you build your value and the company starts to make more money, you start to hire more employees.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Then now your influence has grown because you have employees who you can influence to do things the way you want them to do, then your company becomes even bigger and you become a pace setter in your industry.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Now you start to influence other companies on how they operate because you've become a pace setter.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: So when you want to set industry regulations, you can actually do that by becoming bigger.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Let me use myself as an example for this one.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that was a very good decision I made earlier on, and it really worked for me.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Before I came into the music industry, I believed that things had to be like this, had to be like that.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I had how I thought things worked from the research I'd done online.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Then I came in the industry and realized things weren't working like that.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Certain people didn't know what they were supposed to know, they weren't doing things right.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: And my first thought was, I have to fix this.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I would go to, you know, seminars and talk and go and meet people and try and change things in the industry, but it didn't work.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it didn't work because I realized I didn't have the value and the authority to actually effect a change in the industry.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I changed my tactic.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I said, okay, let me stop trying to do what I can't and build my value, build my reputation, build my company and my structures, so that in the future I can use these structures and this value I've built as an example for others to see how they can also do it.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: So when you see how now somebody will say, Oh, Lynx is a pay setter, I want to operate like Lynx, and manager saying they want to learn how we do things.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was actually by design.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: It was us realizing that by concentrating on what we could control and growing that, we would end up having more people who want to emulate us and want to behave like that.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: And the next thing it did is in the beginning, I didn't know enough people.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't walk into the right rooms, couldn't have the right conversations.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: But the more and more that the influence builds, the more people are willing to give you an ear and the more influence that you have.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Thereby now being able to control things that are even in your circle of concern.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because now maybe you have the right minister to talk to and advocate for the music industry.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe now you have a meteorologist friend who gives you direct information about the weather.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: So as an event organizer, you know when to organize an outdoor event or not.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about how this affects you in your daily life.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know people who are sitting right now in their living room with some unhealthy snacks by their side with a sugary drink.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: They haven't had a healthy drink in a very long time.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yet they are sitting there watching the news and complaining about a war happening in a country that they are never going to go to.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Talking about the horrible hurricane that is happening in some part of the world that does not concern them.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody is on social media every day, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling about the horrible things happening everywhere in the world, on things that they can't change.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: They are not thinking about their diets.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: They are not thinking about how they can make themselves happy.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: They are not thinking about their relationship.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like this man is sitting there with the beer and his big belly, with his big belly out, complaining about somebody in Real Housewives of Atlanta, not noticing that his wife is watching him and she's unhappy because she's not had any attention for the past two weeks.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's out of your control.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Let it go.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: You're at work, you're complaining about your boss.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't received a promotion in so long.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: My boss talks rudely to me.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: My boss is always absent-minded, my boss is favoring this person, and my boss this, and my boss that.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: You can't control your boss, but you can control your actions.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: How about you do your job better?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: How about you are more present?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: How about you show value, improve, learn, get better at your job so that your boss has no choice than to recognize you.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: You have someone in a relationship right now, and they are the biggest complainer in the world.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: They complain about every single thing.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: My partner said this, my partner didn't do this, my partner did this wrong.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Then they'll tell their family members, then they'll tell all their friends, and my partner is doing every single day complaining about their partner.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: How about you try and control the things in your power?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Change your tone.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the fights you're having from your partner are coming from how you are talking to your partner.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're not giving enough attention.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Try that.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you could get better at how you deal with your partner.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know your partner's interests?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel you're always arguing, have you thought about going to somewhere that both of you are interested in?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Have you thought about going for counseling?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like try something that is in your control because sitting there and being concerned about what your partner is doing is counterproductive.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: The time I truly understood the circle of influence was health challenges that I went through.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I started out after when I started my business, you know, I had to be fully focused on my business.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I became a true workaholic.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I worked too hard all the time.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, then I was very young, so it didn't really affect me much until I started to get into my, I mean, until my early 30s, when it started to affect me, when now every day I had headaches, then this, then that.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: I just kept falling sick all the time.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I wasn't even sick, I was just unwell.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing people said, go to an optometrist because my headaches could be related to my eyes.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I went, they gave me glasses.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: The next person said, Oh, go to an ENT specialist.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: They went, they said it's my sinus.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: That everybody I went had a reason why I wasn't feeling well.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: But after years and years of trying, I came to realize the real reason was stress.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: There was too much stress in my life, and it was causing me to fall sick over and over again.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I thought, well, there's nothing I can do about stress.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I just kept living a stressful life until things got very serious, one illness after the next, and then I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, it was scary because when they explained what it could look like to me, where it's either I could get better on the medicine, there was a 50-50 chance, either I could get better on the medicine or the medicine wouldn't work on me, and I would need to have multiple surgeries over the span of my life to manage the hypothyroidism.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And what even made it scarier was when I started to do research and meet people who had hypothyroidism, and I saw the tough time that they were having, where they were having to manage this their whole life.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: One surgery after the next, surgery is very expensive.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: They have to be away from work for months.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I saw that this could possibly be my future.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Then I thought to myself, okay, I have this illness.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing I can do about the fact that I have the illness.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: All this is happening because I'm stressed.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: My life is too stressful.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I run a business, a very stressful business of that.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: So there's nothing I can do about that.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: So what can I do something about?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: What is in my control?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Then I started to research about how I can live a more stress-free life.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I started getting solutions.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: I started to wake up early in the morning so that before I go to work, I can take a walk from my physical activity.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: I can do yoga so that my body is in better condition.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: I can do exercise routines so that my health is in top shape.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: I can meditate to put me in a calm zen mode.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I started to do things that made my life better.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Started to eat better because I know I'm never going to stop eating my plenty spicy chicken and my spicy beef.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I just make sure that as I'm eating that, I also take enough fruits.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: I make sure I'm eating at the right time.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: I started doing the things that were in my control.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it was amazing.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: I was supposed to take the meds for six months, and then we'll see what we're doing next.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: After four months of taking the meds diligently, when I went back to the doctor for a refill, they checked and said it was gone.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: I was perfectly okay.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: And the doctor was even shocked.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: They were so shocked that I was so healed that they said I should go and take a test to actually check I had it in the first place.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to go to Kolobu and go and check, and I did have it, but it was gone.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: No explanation.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: But I can know that I did everything in my control to fix myself, to live a better life.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't focus on the disease that I can't do anything about.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't focus on a stressful job, which I can't make less stressful because owning a company is always going to be stress.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: I focused on my life, on my routines, on how I could be better.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that transformed my life.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of wasting your energy and your fire on things that don't affect you or things you can't control, spend your time growing yourself, mastering yourself, because true change starts from within.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's only when you do that that you can now start to influence people, change systems, build things based on your strength that will change the entire nation.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: So master yourself from within.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: Concentrate on what you can control in your circle of influence.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And by doing that, you will enlarge your circle of influence.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: So now start asking yourself: what are the things that you've been wasting your time thinking about?
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: What do you go on social media and read and learn about every day that doesn't concern you?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Does that war halfway across the globe actually concern you in any way?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: If not, why are you spending four hours having an argument about it?
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Does the obesity rates in a country that you are never going to visit affect you?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Shouldn't you spend your time working on a diet so that you don't become obese?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Spend your time on the things that you can control.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: So anything in your life that you are wasting your energy and your time on that doesn't concern you, shift it away and focus on you.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: And by doing that, you truly will become the mastermind I know you can be.