Latest / Pod Therapy / #432: Flirting Friends, Treating Boyfriend's Nemesis, Sex Addiction

Transcript

#432: Flirting Friends, Treating Boyfriend's Nemesis, Sex Addiction · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We don't want we don't want the rich people to
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: pay too much money. What is the ticket price? I
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: just want I don't even know it's there, impossible to
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: get clearly the question, so like it's it's priceless price
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: from fabulous Las Vegas. No matter.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: This is pot therapy, real people a real problems and
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: real therapists. You can submit your questions anonymously at pod
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: therapy dot net or email us at pod therapy guys
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. And now broadcasting from our studio.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: That's Jim, that's Whitney.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I'm Nick. It's time for some pot therapy.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: So if you want to know what's going on in
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: the Gulf world Patreon dot com, slash therapy, you can
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: get all the tea or just call me or just
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: call it's gonna happen. I didn't get a chance to
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: talk about in the Patreon, but Jacob I was.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: When we were leaving the sushi place. Uh huh? I
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: backed up? Oh did I pay for? Did I pay
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: my tab? You? You did? I walk out? Yeah? You
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: walked out? Oh I know I did? Did you actually did? Yeah?
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: You all walked out? Do you pay though? Right?
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: I paid?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah? She paid her due, she's paid in the past.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: She fucking paid. She did what she had to do.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: Uh yeah, patron dot com slash there you can find
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: out all about it.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Sushi indeed, and it was delicious.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: When we were leaving the sushi place, I bet I
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: chased you down. Yeah, as they were chasing me down
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: to pay the bill you didn't finish on it was
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: I just wish you wouldn't have done that, Like why
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: they charged me for that? By the way, they charged
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: me for that role because it was not finished. Did
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: you go back and look thank you?
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Yes? Good, Yes, it's on the receipt.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: I feel terrible what I feel. I feel what a
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: dick you.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: You're the only one who had even won bite of that,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: and then you were like you. I try to buy
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: the people over the years that have told me that
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I am too hard on Jim. I want you to
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: know that Nick actually goes for Jill. Ye yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Nick actually goes for Jie. Nobody yells it hurts flings,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Nick hurts my wallet. All right, there's a difference. I
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: have felt difference.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: I act on the thoughts that Jacob has.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Make Jim cry. Nick makes Jim's children cry. I can't
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: go to college. And low when we were leaving the sushi,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: they weren'tetting into college. That's right, you were. I think
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: it was you.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: I backed out in front of you and then turned
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: to leave. Did you happen to notice what was on
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: the back of my car?
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: Magnets?
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Did you see this? We all know I have magnets
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: on the back of my car. What did you say?
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: I was going to ask about this? So, student driver,
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: please be patient.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: So let me tell you what happened.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: So, my son, he's of age, he can he can
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: learn how to drive, but he has to still pass
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: the permit test in order to do it. He's not
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: in any hurry because kids his age don't care anymore.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: But his buddy got his license and he gave his
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: magnets to my son, and my son was like, oh hey, Dad,
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: my buddy gave me these. You know, keep them because
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: that way when I start my driver's stuff, you know
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: you have them.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: And I was like great.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: So the other day I was like, this is a requirement.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: No, because I think when I'm driving around and I
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: see those, I do like.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Back off on my horn. No, he's right, there's only
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: one way to learn that's right, drow the deep water.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: That's right, y'all. Y'all are easy on them. I teach
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: you teach them, that's right. I'm teaching America's youth. The
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: majority of humans turn more like Whitney. Uh. Most are
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: not doing with Jacobs. So my son was like, oh,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: actually not reading. These are the first place I didn't
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: even notice.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: He gives me the magnets, and I'm like, okay, and
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: I have them forever. And then one day I'm like, oh, ship,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: I should just put these on my car because worst case,
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: people just think I'm a kid, right, and they're gonna
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: be nice to me. So like I put them on
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: the back of my car, and like, I just forget
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: that they're there. And then one day I take my dad,
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: my brother in law, my son to a night's game
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: and we're going up the parking garage and I get
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: out of a turn in the parking garage and I
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: decide to do something that I'm religiously against. And you
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: all know that I'm passionately against this.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: You use.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: I decide to back into a parking spot, which I
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: think is the too spaggiest thing you could ever fucking do. Wait,
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: is this it's my super room. Yeah, so I go
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: to back up. No, it's well okay maybe for good drivers.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: For me, it was not. So I am.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: I come right off the ramp. There's a whole line
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: of people. We're all trying to get to the game.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm on like the fourth floor.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: I go to back up into this spot, which is
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: right near the rampant as you enter into this floor,
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: it takes me four fucking as I am doing. I
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: am backing up and there are people on the right
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: are disappointed, They're just stuck. And right there on the
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: ramp is like an F one fifty just staring daggers
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: into me and I am just back because into the
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: spot the first t on the first track, so no problem.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: I'm like so humiliated. I'm trying so hard. I finally
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: get in and as I park, people start going by me.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: And everybody just finger. Oh. But here's the thing.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Everybody that passes me, including the leader the F one fifty,
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: they're waving at me like they're giving me a thumbs up. Oh,
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: They're like giving me love. And I'm like what.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: And I was sitting there the whole time thing like
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: what the fuck, Like, why are these people not being
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: cruel to me.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: And I get out and I'm like, that's so in
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: my brother in law's brand new to Vegas. He goes, man,
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: i'ma be honest with you, people in Vegas are really kind.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Like back in Tennessee, Bro, they would have ripped your
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: ass for this, like people would have confound you after
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: that ship. And I was like, yeah, dude, I didn't
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: realize people in Vegas were this cool. My son like
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: walks into me whisper. He goes, Dad, you have the
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: bumper stickers. And I was like, oh, that's right.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: This is the bests, like instead of a student drive.
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: And he's just say, col.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: You'll love it. Your level for living my best life.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: I put it the lightful bumper sticker on your car
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: time ago. You did, and you were upset about that.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: That is the bottom of our friendship that you're bringing
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: up right now. Because we survived, random, we serve you survived.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: That was a bad remind me.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know what it was like a funny bumpers
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: And first of all, first of all, it was not
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: a sticker. It was a.
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: It was a man grind.
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: That's it.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: That's it. Yeah, do any of you remember what it said? No,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I don't coming. Yeah, it did Whitney, which I drove
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: my children to school in the carpool line. It said
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: don't honk or all come. Yeah, that was it, yes,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: which I didn't notice. And just i'm gonna say, less
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: embarrassing than students going along my life. I'm gonna say,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: definitely less embarrassing than student driver, less helpful, less helpful.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: How many thumbs up would you've gotten if you.
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: Didn't long enough to clear?
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah? That was not a good day for Jacob and
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I because I saw what the fuck? And he was like, oh,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: that's right, I forgot I did that a while ago,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Like didn't you? Yeah, because my kids found it, Dick,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: what is going on? He's like, my bad? So it
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: was the most the most Jacob is capable of my bad.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: That was what it was.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: It was that's what you heard.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: No, No, Yeah, Jacob text me and says something like, oh,
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: here's the more terrible thing I was thinking about doing
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: a That's what he said.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Oh I don't remember. It's oh I was gonna do
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: this really awful thing, but I decided to do this instead.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, great magnet on your car settled down.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: That's what's someone as a Jacob Smith apologies. That was
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: as close as we're going to get. It was going
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: to be much I realized what it was. If I
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: do something wrong, I will certainly apologize for it. This
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: is true anytime, anytime, whenever it happens, It happened. If
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: it ever happens, then we'll know, so I'll nail it anyway.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Patroon dot com slash therapy. Come join us over There
• 8:10
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• 8:14
  Speaker 1: recording all right episodes. We've been releasing them at the
• 8:17
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• 8:20
  Speaker 1: how we feel about that and getting better and better
• 8:23
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• 8:24
  Speaker 3: If you're a Patreon at the their producer level, you
• 8:27
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• 8:29
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• 8:31
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• 8:33
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• 8:36
  Speaker 3: We are getting close by the way to May, which
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: is mental health Month, and we've got all sorts of
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: fun goodies coming up. There are lots of suggestions. We
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: opened up a channel on our discord where people are
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: throwing out suggestions of ideas for fundraisers in May, as
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: we always do. It's our big fundraiser month to celebrate
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: mental health. We have another listener who's friends with Emma
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: the Intern, who has two horses and a goat that
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: we might.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Get a chance. Is this case of one upsmanship? I
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: think it is. I think it is, so we might
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: get to name some horses and goats. Emma.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's beef actually the horses and three of them,
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: Then there should be like a theme behind the three.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that would rule. That would rule. So
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: that's Huey, Dewey and Louie, very solid, very solid. I
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: like that. I think if you're gonna name a goat,
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: you start getting into the debate of who's the goat?
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Huey Dewey and goat and Lebron? Is that is that scandalous?
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Maybe not? Maybe maybe it's MJ. I don't know, it's
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: it Kobe, I don't know. You get to decide. Try
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: to put a basketball debate on this, this therapy show.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Whatever makes the money, brother, I don't care. Another thing
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: discussed and We'll see how Nick feels about it. Is
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: a seafood sugar Cookie request album anytime. But like you
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: say that, Nick is not the problem. Not the problem,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: thank you, Jacob. I think has never been the problem
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: with Sugar Coat. Get off the ground.
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: Jim will literally record live, but not meet with you
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: to rehearse exactly.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: We don't need to rehearse, just go.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: That's something that can only be said by someone who's
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: never been in a band. We don't need to We
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: don't need to rehearse that.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Sorry, is that trademarked? Jesus? I didn't realize trademark getting
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: sued anyway, patroon dot com slash therapies.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: We get closer to May, we're taking requests. People are
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: giving us all sorts of really cool ideas for fun
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: things they want to see during our four big episodes
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: in May, and we are excited and we'll probably a
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: lot of people are requesting a live show, which is bold.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: I don't know if we can pull that off. So
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: theology is there, but I'm scared.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, live on video show, Yeah, live to twitch or
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: live to you. That's fine. Yeah, we could do that hard,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: we could do now. I thought he met like a
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: live live show a hobocon. Can we get in August
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: live from hobocon It's pod therapy, anyway, Come check us out.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: Because everyone there would be like mental health podcasts, but.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: It would be so much fun because I'm a bad boy.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I am a bad boy.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: We've got some great questions for today's show. We're leading
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: off the order with a rare question from one of
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: our favorite humans on the planet, our therap partner picketsic Hey, guys.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Picket here.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: Pronouns are he and him. Quick update on paying for
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: a friend's therapy. He ended up switching jobs and his
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: health insurance had a good copay system for mental health,
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: so he was able to get his own therapy started.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: He's still going and he's made a bit of progress,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: but it's slow going since he's still kind of resilient.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: Resist Yeah, resilient to bettering himself. I think it's resistant
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: to bettering himself or getting that vulnerable with someone. Overall,
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: still a positive sense. He's still willing to go and
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: try out the suggestions of the therapist.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Onto.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: The story I'm writing in about the idea of getting
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: a letter of diagnosis from doctor Jacob was really funny.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: To me and made me think about a situation that
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: happened recently with some online friends that my husband and
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: I met up with.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: All right, because you guys can't diagnose over over anything,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: whereas Jacob will do it. I'm just a life coach
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: for Christ for free, all right. Life coaches gotta eat.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Life coaches gotta eat. Life coaches gotta eat. You want
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: to diagnosis the student debt you got to pay from
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: your doctorate life coach, my life coach degree, all of you.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: You don't know what I live with. We don't, but
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: at least right, but you earned one. If I could
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: transfer the debt to Jacob, do you know how fast
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: I would give him my doctorate? I would sign you
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: get everything all years now. I'm curious about people thing
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: you right, Yeah, it's on me.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: I'm curious about people totally outside the situation and their reaction,
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: as well as hoping to get some advice for the
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: aftermath of events.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: It's a long one. A strap in.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: We have an online friend we'll call him do W
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: who lives in southern California that we went and visited
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: beginning of January for his birthday. Another online online friend
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: of ours we'll call him F joined us for this.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: Both of these friends were considered close friends, especially so
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: with my husband, as he had lots of long, deep
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: conversations with both W and F about life and stuff.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: F is someone who who is struggling with his sexual
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: identity as well as struggling with his current marriage, possibly related.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: We knew for sure he.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: Was struggling to feel anything for his wife, but outside
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: of that, not much else was known. And W is
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: a very very gay man who is not shy about it.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: Along with several other friends from that online circle, most
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: of F and W's online interactions consisted of W gassing
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: up F and saying he looked cute or acting cute, etc.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: F always took this in stride, laughing about it in
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: voice chats and reacting positively in text form. Fast forward
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: to W's birthday and F decides to join my husband
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: and I for the trip. F and I end up
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: arriving the day of W's birthday in SoCal as my
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: husband had more PTO than I did, so he went
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: a couple of days earlier. I'm talking with F and
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: everything is going well. That night, for W's birthday, do
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: a bit of bar hopping at the last bar. W
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: and my husband are pretty far gone to the point
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: that they're losing their voices in karaoke. It was obviously hilarious.
• 15:10
  Speaker 6: Perfect.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: I love that I have a bad habit of being
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: a slow drinker, as I'm always worried that if everyone's
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: drunk then we'll do something stupid.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: So I'm a little tipsy, but could still lock in
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: if I need to. That doesn't sound like alcohol. I
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: have a lot of experience with alcohol. That's that's never
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: I would say, just go ahead and cut loose and
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: what's the worst that could happen? Nothing bad ever happens
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: that Tiger Woods nice seemed to be. Oh, I want
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: to come to Tiger's defense here.
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: And you should he.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Counsel. Someone is taking up for the little Yeah, this
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: is his moment. He's like, I will be there for you, Tiger.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: I will make you well. Nike, why haven't you just
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: gotten him a driver? I mean, have you written to
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: heal him? That's what I say, higher a car service.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: If there's anybody you'd think as like the best golfer ever,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: he more than anybody would know when to use a driver.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: He could make a bill with that.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: Ad campaign right there, walks out on the high note.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: F seemed to be in the same boat as me,
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: a little tipsy. During song breaks, W is flirting slash
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: gassing up F, as by his own admission, he's a
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: flirty drunk. F seems to be playing along, and then
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: W asks, can I kiss you on the cheek? F agrees,
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: and W gives him a kiss on the cheek. W
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: asks next, can I kiss you on the lips? F
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: shoots this down immediately and directly. W pouts a bit
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: but backs off. No other interactions like this occurs for
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: the rest of the time. We're at the bar, about
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: another thirty minutes to an hour, and then we take
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: an uber back to the airbnb.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: How many more drinks you're all staring at an hour?
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: A lot of drinks you can get in there? Not none?
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: Not none.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: When we get there, F voices that he's been awake
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: for nearly forty hours and just wants to go to
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: sleep instead of hanging out more. That's why I'm slurring,
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: that's verify, not the extra drinks, say, lack of sleep.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: I can understand that and start heading to the bedroom.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: My husband is a sleepy drunk, so he's basically already
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: asleep on the bed. W still wants to hang out
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: and is bugging F. He also asks again if he
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: can kiss him on the lips, and F shoots it
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: down again. I grab W and try and drag him
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: back to his room, but he's being a stubborn drunk
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: and trying to hang out with F more while playing
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: video games. F is laughing at W being so silly
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: and also tells him to go to bed. Eventually, I
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: get W to bed and we all go to sleep.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: Next day, F is going to meet with some of
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: his personal friends who live in the area, while my husband, myself,
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: and do W go and do some escape rooms. That afternoon,
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: my husband gets a message from F stating that he
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: felt uncomfortable around do W the night before, quote.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: His behavior was not the greatest.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: My husband asked if F wanted to bring that up
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: or have my husband bring it up. F opted to
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: have my husband bring it up with W since he
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: was right there. Husband brings it up. W feels bad
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: and says he won't do that again. My husband relays
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: this to F and things seem fine.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute, time out. I'm afraid that people are
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: confused help me out with the initials because I'm confused
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: with the initials.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: I had to scroll back and reread it. So I
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: think I can help you.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: So let's go through and clarify who is the writer.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: The writer is Picket. The writer is Picket. Who is
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: just a who is who is Picket? Observer the story?
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Who is F to Picket? Friend a friend for friend
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: who is w to Picket? Another friend who is husband's husband.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: This is Picket's husband, and those two are not the
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: people involved. So there are four people in the There
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: are four people in the email. One is Picket, one
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: is husband, one is F. One isu W and one.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: F and W are the two intricate parts of this story.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: Picket and husband are mostly along for the ride, and
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: husband is a little bit involved in this point now.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: F is definitely partnered, yes, and.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: Double struggling with sexual identity.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Yes all of that, Yes, yes, great, got it, and
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: so wry to identify.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: They were both being drunk and flirty and then W
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: was like, let's kick it up a notch and F
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: was like no, and and W is like okay, was.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Not like not say no. F said yes, And then
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: when said let's kick out of another notch. F said no, yes,
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: got it, said yes notch one. F said no to
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: not two, and W kept pushing and F was like,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: but for real, no go to bed. And so they
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: raft laughing and kept having a good time and kept
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: not making.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: It weird, but also like, hey, you found the extent
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: of my drunk. I don't have more in me. Stay there, okay,
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: got it? They exchanged more a few more messages while
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: we're driving and sitting in traffic that all seemed pretty jovial,
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: with memes and jokes and stuff. That evening after the
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: escape room, this is.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: Who's the day is? Sorry? F, F and husband is
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: the they right? Yeah? I think the group chat so
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: F and husband are having a chat and and everybody's
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: being friendly. W using this chat as well, I think so.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: I think that they've all cleared it up. We're good now, great, okay, good.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: That evening after the escape rooms were done, we checked
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: in with F to see if you wanted to stay
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: with the other friends longer or get picked up by
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: us right away, as some of the messages were showing
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: that he was having a lot of fun. Our plan
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: for the night was to go to a gay bar
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: slash drag club. We should do that, guys, that would
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: be so much fun.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Where's where do you go to Vegas? What's the drag club?
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Lots lots of places. There's a lot of places place
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: in Vegas. There's one or two.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we got to do this. That'd be a great time.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: Where we'll take it.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: I'll take you hold in the wall, gay bar, I'll
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: take want to go to the Charlie's. We're going.
• 21:35
  Speaker 5: I want to see.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: I've been. I want to do so well.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Where's never a place on earth where I feel better
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: about myself.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Than a gay bar. That's your that's your place.
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: Bro.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Having a great time is having a good sign that evening,
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: after the scape rooms were done, we checked him with
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: f to see if he wanted to stay with his
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: other friends. Logger get picked up by us because he's
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: had messages saying, you have a lot of fun. Our
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: plan for the night was to go to a gate
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: or drag bar, but no one was going to drink
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: nearly as much, if at all, as.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: The night before.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: We're in our thirties. Our potties can't keep up like
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: that anymore. It was a big note that night event
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: and was being seen as the actual celebration for W's birthday,
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: F kept going back and forth with being picked up
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: or staying later. He also revealed that he had smoked
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: weed he's used before. In his own words, he feels
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: like he can only be kind and loving while high,
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: and without being high, he's an asshole and was worried
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: about being high or drunk around W. My husband stated
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: that both himself and W would not drink it all,
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: and F didn't seem to believe this since we were
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: going to a bar slash club.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Eventually, F also, by the way, fail yeah, of course,
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: not being someone who says I'm not going to drink,
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: but I'm going to this bar. Yeah, fair unlikely.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: Eventually F settles on us picking him up from his
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: friend's place.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: We pick him up.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: Car ride is fine, some idle showder, but F is
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: most on his SUN is mostly on his phone texting
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: other people.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: You barely talked about slams at all.
• 23:23
  Speaker 6: There it is.
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: We get back to the airbnb. I go into the
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: bedroom to start getting ready for the club along with W.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: Suddenly I hear what sounds like surprise slash argument happening
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: in the other room. I come out to see that
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: F is packing all of his things into his suitcase.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: This was day two of our five day trips, and
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: my husband is asking what's wrong and why is packing
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: his things? F heads for the door, and my husband,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: who can't stand to have things not addressed, moves to
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: kind of stand in the way. Maybe not the best plan,
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: but he really hates when people just up and leave
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: a conversation instead of trying.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: To talk it through. He didn't know what to do.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, F reveals that he does not feel
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: safe around Doub at all, that do w wants to
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: get with him on a relationship level.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Quote.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: I was fine with the flirting and compliments online, but
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: you seem to think that there's something there and there isn't.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: That he feels doub and my husband drink too much,
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: eventually stating that both of them are alcoholics.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: This is pretty brutal.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: Blow to my husband, as his father is actually an alcoholic,
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: and a main anxiety trigger is thinking that he's becoming
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: just like his father. F did know about this beforehand
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: from the talks he's had with my husband, but I'm
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: still not sure if F meant it as a direct
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: insult slash maliciously to my husband. My husband is trying
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: to address these points as they come up, along with
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: Dob apologizing for making F feel so uncomfortable, but wanting
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: to talk about the issues he's bringing up since their
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: strikes against their characters and they feel that they're untrue claims.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: F really wants to leave. My husband is really hurt
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: from the alcoholic statement and says, if that's how you
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: really feel, then I don't want to see her face
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: ever again. F leaves pretty soon after that, and W
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: and my husband end up writing up more formal apologies
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: after cooling off and processing what happened for about twenty
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: minutes or so, and leave things in F's court to
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: reach out again should he want to. F says he
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: has to think about it for a while before making
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: a decision. Now for the question part of the story,
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: F never reached out again. Weeks later, he left the
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: small friend circle discord server we're all on, blocked my
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: husband and W, removed them from his friend's list, and
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: even blocked another mutual friend who tried to talk to
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: him about it. A couple weeks after the event, after
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: it was discovered that he had misrepresented some of the events,
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: like I mentioned before. My husband really doesn't like leaving
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: things open like this without any kind of conclusion or discussion,
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: so it's really been eating him up. He's mostly just
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: mad at F for not wanting to discuss things and
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: seeming to just run away from the problem instead. But
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: what's the best way to deal with someone who you
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: thought was a close friend just dropping you like that
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: with no chance of discussion or explanation, And in turn,
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: how do you handle the worry or fear about tangential
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: friend groups who know my husband W and F getting
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: told these characters smearing things potentially by F. Alternatively, what
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: could we have done differently? I wasn't brought up in
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: the arguments at all, but I felt like I showed
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: that I was someone that could be in F's court
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: if things were getting out of hand, and instead just
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: tossed aside and forgotten, not to mention hurt that I
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: didn't know at all that he felt so unsafe and
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: would have handled things much more seriously if I had
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: known he felt that bad about the whole thing. We
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: think maybe he just had an anxiety spiral and built
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: up the incident really big in his head, but he
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: never gave us a chance to sit down and talk things,
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: talk things out, talk things through before he just gave
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: up and left, which left us all feeling pretty raw.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: We very well could have been the big bads in
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: the situation, but not getting the chance to talk things
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: through feels really rough, and we don't really have a
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: way to deal with that now without actually being bad
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: guys by trying to force the issue to end on
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: a lighter note. It feels really weird to be fully
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: up to date with the podcast.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Haha.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: You guys are great and I love listening to all
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: the questions, answers and stories that this podcast introduces me to.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: And please, please, please don't be afraid to let me
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: have it. If I slash we royally screwed up in
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: this situation.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you said that. Gearing up, there we go
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: therapy for life. Signed Picket, Picket. We love Picket absolutely man.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: The drama is thick Picket. The drama is you. Whitney left,
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: she left, she left. Picket can see he's a their partner,
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: he gets all the videos. Okay, what you did to Whitney,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: You upset her with your gay drama. Okay, you did
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: this all right, it's on you, bud, that's a big story.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: That's a lot.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: Okay, first off us, can we let's zoom in on
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: one one fact here, go ahead, drunken drama.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Ran. I heard someone say drunken drama as a whole less.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: I heard someone say a wild back. I don't remember
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: who it was, but someone told me that they had
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: been talking to an er doctor. Okay, and they were
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: told by this er doctor virtually every case that came
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: into the er had alcohol involved with it in some way.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: Stop it.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: No, I completely.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: I would say probably with the caveat after such and
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: such time of night, I would guarantee, yeah, like after
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: nine pm. Everything that comes that's late alcohol related.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: I think it's like six, you know, so I think
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: it's like five or happy hour, Yeah, happy basically dinners
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: like early dinner time. I think at that point here
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: that the ear is just run over the emotions with
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: drug drivers, both figured figure and literally.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: So okay, the basic here's here's my best shot at
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: the summary. Go ahead, okay, general, I want to hear
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: a summary. Verify me if I'm off base here. We
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: decided to come back.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: She's coming back back, Okay, upset, she's wiping the mescara.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: From her eyes, she looks like you did this furious raccoon,
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: furious homeless woman, which usually she just looks like a
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: just eyeliner timid wreck smeared. I was wondering why she
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: wore so much Island tonight in the first game. It
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: was a lot, right right? Yeah? I mean I think
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: she applied it with a spoon like it was. It
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: was just a lot. It was like she went to
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: Tim Burton's makeup score.
• 30:15
  Speaker 6: It was.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: It was a scene right out of Nightmare before Christmas,
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden.
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: All that soake gym paid for just went right through there.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: It is so okay to summarize the question if I
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: heard it right, and we might need Whitney on this,
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: and we was paying we need more group help. Picket
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: and a husband mostly innocent in all this. W and
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: F gay friends. Okay, they're hanging out partying together. Do
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: W spit in too much game?
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Wait?
• 30:45
  Speaker 6: F gay?
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: I think they are. I think for the purpose, That's
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: what I heard. F is in the middle, Okay, but
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: F enjoyed some of the attentions.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: I know I'm saying F is not in the Maybe
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: that's bigger than F is closer to to one end
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: than the other. For the summary, whatever that scale is called.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: F and W are are friends of picket and husband,
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: and both of them enjoyed some drunken flirting. W kept
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: pushing for the next level, and then, uh, wy.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: Jesus, I don't think that F is like not feeling
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: it so too much attention. F pushes back and says
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: that's enough. W's too pushy. A little bit of feelings
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: are hurt. Next day, husband of Picket tries to bring
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: peace and says, hey, let me be the broker of peace.
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: I'll talk it out.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: W feels talked to. F feels talked to. Everybody has
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: some more drinks because F says to Pickett's husband, I
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: felt uncomfortable last F. F tells point a little too much. Yeah.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: So at that point husband goes to W and says,
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: heyn a little much too much. W says absolutely, okay,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: bad got too into my cups. Tells that to F.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: F says, cool, thanks for being a buddy. We're all
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: back to square one.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: There's some weed involved, there's a group chat, there's a
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: little too much. Feelings get hurt because people feel called out.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Ultimately start insulting everybody, saying, well, you're an alcoholic, and
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: you're an alcoholic, how dare you.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Call me out? F says this, I think, so I
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: think or double.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: I didn't get I didn't hear that.
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: That wasn't clear.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: It seemed like it like picket or husband came home. Yeah,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: and the packing happened.
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: They didn't really share what.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they got, well they got back to the hotel.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: Storyteller doesn't know what French is packing up to say
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: I'm out of here. You guys are too much, and
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: they're like, hold on, f or w is packing? Yes,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: f is passing. And then in the aftermath, so the
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: huts off everybody, So the floor t is packing, the
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: receiver of the receiver of the too much flair f
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: is packing, says that they do not feel secure. F
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: is flirtation receiver.
• 33:08
  Speaker 7: W is whore.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay, and they don't feel secure, yes, and flirtation receiver.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Why are you taking it personally? You're looking at me
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: like like what's going on? Because she thinks, and I
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: said it, that's weird for you. It's because you have
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: a petre used it on somebody you're reading this. She's
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: just jealous. She's just jealous.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: So F is like this is too much, gets angry
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: at everybody with draws and runs away, and Picket observes, Hey,
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: that sucks. I feel bad for my friend F. Clearly
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: they felt unsafe. I wish they would have told us that.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: And also, wow, then they cut us all out on
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: social media, on the discord on all channels.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: That's shitty. And then we had a friend try to
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: reach out to F and go, hey, what the fuck
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: your buddies care about you?
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: They didn't want to hurt you, and F even cut
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: that person off, and Pickets look at that and going okay, friends,
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: pot therapy, friends, were we out a line? If we
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: were out of line, call us out because we heard
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: our friend F. F is hurting or is F overreacting?
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: And that's what's going on here. So this is a
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: very intricate question.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Do we know? Do we know where this is? And
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: the ages of the people involved? Thirties thirties San Francisco.
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: I have some thoughts that I don't know if they're applicable.
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: It's kind of and Jim doesn't want to hear them.
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: I knew it. It's rude. Uh No, I kind of
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: am thinking.
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: Almost possibly there's the opposite of what you said, Jacob,
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: where you're like, oh, well, I think that f may
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: not really be in the middle. I'm kind of having these,
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: uh maybe thoughts of like, if you are questioning where
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: you're at, this.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Is this is exactly what I meant. I think I
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: think we're on the exact saace. Okay, no, please go ahead.
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: So if you're questioning where you're at, sometimes.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: This is the not middle that I was referring to.
• 35:00
  Speaker 5: Okay, okay, the other direction from.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Where you think that was going back. This is exactly
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: where I was going. It's great, yeah, keep going.
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: Because my experience and not with people in their thirties,
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: but I think back to like my twenties.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: And uh, that's what I was asking about the age.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: This feels a little late for this to be happening.
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: Take if I were in the same page, because I
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: was thinking back to and again, women versus men, And
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: I'm not an expert on the difference and that when
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: it comes to like sexuality and like attraction to the
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: same sex, but I recall times were women young women
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: in our early twenties when they were going through maybe
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: like questioning their sexuality or like learning about that more
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: or maybe they already knew that but were hiding it
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: before because I went to a religious universe, so whatever,
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: for whatever reason. But you saw more of that rejection
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: from people that were I don't even want to say rejection.
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: That's not a right spot, but maybe kind of what
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: F's going through where they like separate from that because publicly.
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: They're not used to that yet, they're not very yet,
• 36:03
  Speaker 5: like and.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: It's a it's it's not this. It is viewed as
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: it can be viewed. That's not don't want to say,
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: I just want to I want to be specific about it.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: I believe it can be viewed by the person who
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: is being flirted with, if they are not if they
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: are maybe less than secure with themselves, Yes, that it
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: can be viewed by them as an attack on their sexuality.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: And I mean, I've seen it in my travels and
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: my friends.
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: It's got a lot of experiences in life.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: Like just and like if somebody gets flirted with by
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: a person of the same sex and they get angry
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: about that, that tells me something about the person who
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: is being flirted with and who is angry more than
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: it does about the person who was doing the flirting.
• 37:02
  Speaker 5: Yes, that is exactly where.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's that's all I kept thinking the whole time.
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: That's it is double the flirter the flir We're holding
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: them a little less responsible.
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: I mean, reading through it, I feel like maybe they're like,
• 37:21
  Speaker 5: I want to put some onus on that, Like.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: Sure, because f did say that and then pass that
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: through Pickett's husband and husband ultimately delivered that mail to
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: dou W And honestly, I feel like, look, they did
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: everything they could.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: Up to that point. Honestly, everything up to that point,
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: and like delivering that message and saying like this was
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: a little too much. Uh they they uh they they
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: do not want to continue the flirting or whatever. That
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: was the end of that for them. Uh that's that's
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: as far as they want to go with that. I'm
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: cool with everything up to that point. Like you're you're
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: you're flirting. Maybe you're flirting a little aggressively and maybe
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: that was received not not well. And you were told
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: that that was not received well, and if you backed
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: off at that point, if W backed off at that point,
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: and then I I okay, I kind of got there.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Maybe they were a little tone deaf and in the
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: first place or something. But that's not the end of
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: the world, and that's at your ass. Yeah, and you're
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: being very clear, this is not my jam please style.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: They draw a big white stripe down your back, you
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: know that, and then they tried to do you skunky style.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: There was an entire memes Horny Frenchman like that, just
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: being an entire Looney Tunes reality.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: I love it. There was such an issue with black
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: cats getting somehow like painted with a white stripe. Yeah,
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: just sucked into it. How many different ways could they
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: paint a white stripe on a cat?
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: Knows.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: I didn't even realize until I was much older that
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: that was a cat. No, no, I thought there were
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: both skunks. I honestly, I never never made the connection.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: In the car, yeah, things skunk and then he chases
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: and then it's hilarious case of mistaken I did. And
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: vague sexual assault. It's mostly just sexual assent. Yes, vague
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: sexual assault. I don't know that it's vague. I feel
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: like she's pretty clear it's animated, even as a skunk.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: She's not into it, and he's like, yeah, but you're
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: into it. Have you ever seen the ones who were
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: role reverses and she's into him and he's like, whoa easy,
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: you know, like I'm I'm a ladies man, I talk
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: to everybody. It's just like, no, this is happening. It's
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: honestly my favorite thing anytime I go to a strip
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: club with someone who is like that super like alpha
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: male type bro dude. Okay, because in like a strip club,
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: especially like especially well especially like the in Las Vegas.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: That's a different bed. Okay, Atlantis does not cover strip
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: club bills. I cannot find. That's it, like Spirit Rhinos, Sapphire,
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: like these huge you know, thousands of thousands of square feet,
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: where like there are hundreds of strippers working on in
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: given night when the when the roles get reversed, when
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: the alpha guys are the ones being hunted by the
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: by the strippers to be like hey do you want
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: to dance? Hey you want to buy me a drink?
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: Hey you want to do this? Hey you want to
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: do this, and like watching it happen. It's truly my
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: favorite thing. It's honestly, like the most women's live thing
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: that happens at the strip club is you watch that
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: like hunter hunted role reversal happen and you go like, oh, motherfucker,
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: this is kind of funny here to work or not?
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean, I mean honestly, like where Pickett says, look,
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: did we fuck up? You know, did we make a
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: mistake here? Boy, I don't see it. I mean, I
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: feel like they were trying to be really gentle friends
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: and look, I respect my This is this is something
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: that Nick's talked about over in history, and I feel
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: like over the years, I like to think that over
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: the years we've all had a little impact on each other.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: There's been little things about Jacob that I've noticed I've
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: picked up and I start thinking differently, and I'm like saying, upset, Yes,
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: that's honestly, that's the second biggest thing.
• 41:03
  Speaker 5: That's the only thing I've got it.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: It's a pretty significant thing. The kids saying. Nick has
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: always had a philosophy that's sort of like respect an autonomy,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: like it's not my joke to get involved with all
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: my friends and all their dealings.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: Like if if you're into this, you do you, It's
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: not my business. Be cool, like whatever. You're an adult.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: So like where f is like I'm having fun, I'm
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: being flirty, and W is like, great, I'm having fun too,
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: this is being flirty. I can appreciate where Pickett and
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: Husband are like, great, two adults have a good time.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: Two adults have a good time. And then whenever F's
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: like that's enough, I'm good and W's like, let me
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: push a little bit further, and It's like no, but really,
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: I'm done. Then I think Pickett and Husband are like, hey,
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: take the message, my man.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: Honestly, even at that point, like if two of my
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: friends are doing that and they're they're like being flirty
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: at a bar or whatever, and then one of them
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: says to me like, hey, could you say to that
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: other friend okay that like that was a little too
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: much for me and I want to back off of that. Honestly,
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: at that point, I might have been like, you can
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: tell him.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: Oh, I like this argument that you're like, hey, you
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: were grown up a minute ago, whenever you were enjoying
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: the attention, you can you can let them now, you
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: can let them know.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: Don't make me be part I was never part of, so,
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: by the way, just tell him just isn't gonna be
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: a big deal, Like, hey, I know we're having fun
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: last night I'm not really interested in pursuing anything, but
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: leave it there. Yeah, let's let's be friends and have fun.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: You're not growing up enough to have that conversation, but
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: you were grown up enough to goof around. Yeah.
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: So do we look at this and we say f
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: is maybe struggling with a lot of internal That's.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: All I think this is. That's all I hear in
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: this entire stuff just doesn't have the emotional maturity right
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: now to express my boundary. Here's where I'm at. Here's
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: where I'm not express a lot expressed with emotions. Is
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: that what our take is I'm leaving. It'd be like
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: if I actually took Jim to Charlie's, like just be
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: in Arizona, CA. Yeah, yeah, this Actually Jim would also
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: be it over his head at Arizona Charlie's case. Also,
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: we still haven't taken Whitney to Bingo yet. I know
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: it's on my list before July, I would say you,
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck Europe to your list?
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: You're forty Yeah, you're.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: Almost I'm knocking off the list. There are only three
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: words on the name of the list, and one of
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: them is before. Yeah, I remember when I was young
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: and stupid.
• 43:30
  Speaker 5: It's great being in my thirties. Still, you're welcome.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: This whole story reminds me of the time three assholes
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: from the Raiders game.
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: That was great question if you know how your random pictures?
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: And Jacob popped up like that was that was a
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: great night because I think too got to and I
• 43:47
  Speaker 4: think they got.
• 43:47
  Speaker 5: To pick us up and be like whoo.
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: People also really quick boast for Jim. How many people
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: in the discord came to my defense about that because
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: it was giving me ship about.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: The answer to your question is, we don't know people
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: did beer defense. I don't want history. But I was
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: texting Nick with like these play by plays of like
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: here's where we're at, here's how to pick us up,
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: and Jacob is like he'll figure it out, or we'll
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: buy him a drink, and I was like, I don't
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: want to be upset at us, so I'm trying to
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: tell him where to pick us up.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to be nice. And then Nick was like,
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: you're dumb, Jim, and then every of the discover was like, no,
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: I get it. Jim was really trying to be a
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: good one.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: What I remember figure out those are the key those
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: are the key words. That's how I remember it.
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: That one lot of people that way take it. I
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: don't think you did anything wrong. I think I think
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: F's got some issues to work here. The only thing
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: that the only thing that I would say maybe is
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: like you and husband might even be able to take
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: a little step back from uh, your friend's business.
• 44:48
  Speaker 7: When I the most that I even pushed back when
• 44:51
  Speaker 7: I wouldn't. I would even say that to you when
• 44:52
  Speaker 7: I had to pick you three up at the Raiders game.
• 44:55
  Speaker 7: I personally, personally, I didn't have any beef with Whitney.
• 44:59
  Speaker 7: We but you know, listen, no shut up on but
• 45:03
  Speaker 7: Whitney was there give her her medicine.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: I don't have any beef with Whitney except she was
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: with the two of you, you dummy, and so therefore
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: Whitney has to pay the price just as much the other.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: You don't know what the beef with me is. I
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: don't remember.
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: Jacob, you and Jim.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: Disagree. I don't disagree that there should be beef. I
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: just don't know what it is. I don't.
• 45:27
  Speaker 5: I feel like we were all just idiots and like
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: I was a better friend than both of you.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: Weren't because you were giving me directions trying to help.
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: You were obnoxious, always trying to overhelp.
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: I was trying to the big boy.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: No, he was upset at me anyway, And I'm trying
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: to make it. But I didn't do anything wrong. Uh,
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: you're doing fine. That's got some ship to work with.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: W W probably has some ship to work with as well.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know there, everybody be nice each other. Do
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: we come back, We're gonna talk about some other stuff. There.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: You're listening to pod therapy Boom.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: Today's episode is brought to you by Robert Party, Junior
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: Men's Kala Lansbury, Kevin Jamberlin, Ben Stanley, Adam Hathaway, Dan Martin,
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: Flip Hey, Yo, Andrew Lang, meet Chad Meg and Ika
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: le Prince and if you'd like to sponsor the show, become.
• 46:18
  Speaker 6: A theraproducer pictureon dot com slash therapy. All right, um,
• 46:25
  Speaker 6: hold on, I wish how many dimples does a golf
• 46:32
  Speaker 6: ball have?
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't know that things that were accidentally
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: invented while trying to invent something else. Okay, I think
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: it's pronounced solid silt. Dina phil better known as Joy Agra,
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: was already in clinical trials when male participants started finding
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: creative reasons not to return the leftover pills. What was
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: it originally tested?
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: Buzzing?
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, No, let's go. Let's go since it's an erection question.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: Question, let's go with question what's your function?
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: All right, I'm gonna take a shoot from the hip
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: for two, and I'm gonna go with blood pressure.
• 47:15
  Speaker 4: No, I need.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: Options uh A depression and low mood B high blood
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: pressure see chest pain caused by a reduced blood flow
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: to the heart or d in large prostate.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, you don't even have a prostate. You don't know? Yeah, idiot,
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: tell me, we don't know what Whitney hasn't heard at it?
• 47:41
  Speaker 6: All right?
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: All right, you know what I jump over these lousy
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: with prostate that it could be the case.
• 47:54
  Speaker 4: She I'm tempted to steal Gym's answer, But if it's wrong,
• 47:58
  Speaker 4: I'll feel like I was already wrong. I mean the
• 48:00
  Speaker 4: blood pressure, that's what I say. No, you said low, No,
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: you don't oh and that was hoigh. Okay, well then
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: good thing I didn't choose one. I wasn't listening to Jim.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: You don't do it.
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: Wait, the prostate there was blood flow to the heart.
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: I think the blood flow of the heart whatever.
• 48:17
  Speaker 5: That one was correct.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: Chest pain caused by reduced blood flow to the heart.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: It's basically a.
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: Blood thinner, right, It's a vaso dilator, so yes, and
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: it opens up the veins so that your blood.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: How do you know all about this gym? So you're
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: blood big.
• 48:38
  Speaker 5: Medium the video, I just know if.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: You have a heart condition, it's real bad, like taking
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: heart medication or whatever.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: Jacob's not on Patreon, so he doesn't realize that you
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: did a six hour deep dive.
• 48:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of deep dives. He is, I could
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: go for inches, he wishes. All right, Whitney, that's because
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: he had in there knocked the bottom out of.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: That thingey WB forty was developed in nineteen fifty three,
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: and the name literally means water displacement fortieth attempt. What
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: was it originally created to protect my options?
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: Clearly so.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: The outer steel casing of the Atlantis Atlantis ballistic missile.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: Naval warships hauls exposed to salt water, artillery rounds during
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: storage in humid conditions, or d early jet aircraft engines
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: during ground maintenance. Naval warship halls exposed to salt water.
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: I feel like the water displacement comes into play there.
• 49:59
  Speaker 4: So I'm going to go with the naval one.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: No, that was a solid guest.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure it's c artillery rounds during storage and
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: humid conditions.
• 50:09
  Speaker 7: I like that.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: No, No, all right, So what's still on the board?
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: Uh, the outer steelcasing of the Atlantis Atlas, ballistic missiles
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: or early jet aircraft engines, daring ground maintenance.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: Fuck, I like both of those. Give me ship, give
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: me the ballistic missiles. No, it's definitely d then, because
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: it's gonna be maintenance something. Nope, give me ballistic missiles
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: because it was the other maintenance one.
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: It was a Cold War aerospace product before it was
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: a garage staple for ballistic missiles.
• 50:48
  Speaker 6: Yes, yes, I know that.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: The rumor for a long time was that fish oil
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: was the main ingredient in W forty. I don't believe so.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, oh, I should probably stop taking it.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: Whatever you're doing is working.
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: On your door hinges, that's right, Yeah, it'd be fine.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: Uh. Jim Jacob super glue super glue World War two,
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: World War two wound adhesive. It was invented during World
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: War two. Is a wound like a like a battlefield stitches?
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: You dirty? Fuck? No?
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: I would you like to hear the rest of the question? No, yeah,
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: go ahead? Was accellently discovered during World War two?
• 51:41
  Speaker 4: Uh?
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: Military research? What was the actual research goal? I guess
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: the question does still fit with your answer? Your answer
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: is still wrong. It's not it's not it's not battlefield stitches. No?
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Wow? Okay, so do I get it? I'll take options. Please,
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: you'll get options. You got a guess you yourself? I
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: will take options.
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: A fast drying adhesive for aircraft wing panels, a waterproof
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: bonding agent for natal vessels, a chemical sealant for military
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: fuel tanks, or a clear optical perfect material for gun sights.
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: Give me bot in the dark.
• 52:26
  Speaker 5: No fuck se I don't even know.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: No, it's gotta be a then out of those right?
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: If he recovers no, it was.
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: D is a clear optical perfect for making a for
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: material gun sites?
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: We all are? We okay with that?
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: I want a question.
• 52:46
  Speaker 5: I feel like Jacob from his first I.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: Kind of spiritually agreed. Doctor Harry Coover was annoyed when
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: the compound bonded to everything it touched. And shelved it.
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: He rediscovered it years later.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: It can only save lives instead of being a clear
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: weird adhesive to its property made unstable for that purpose.
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, how interesting. I've always been told that it
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: was Oh Vietnam. It turned into the medical use in Vietnam.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: In the Vietnam it was used for It was a
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: fitted during World War two, but it wasn't used for
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: medical until nom okay will find a way to be right. No,
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: I'm not right. All I know is I'm why I
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: was wrong. We're tied for first place, and uh I
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: think we're the people's champions. Second question, First, we're all fucked. Yeah,
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: the only way to make it fair. It's the whole
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: game a fair but you're describing as the game. Yeah,
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: all right.
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: Next question for the show, an author needs a therapist
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: perspective on an ethical question. So I want to write
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: some fan fiction about a TV show I watch, and
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: I need your input on how a therapist would handle things. Finally,
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: the streat involves an original character we'll call them OC,
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: who is a therapist getting involved in the lives of
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: two characters from the TV show. She moves to town,
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: she sets up a practice and gets one of the
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: characters as a client. They make good progress. Meanwhile, she's
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: also young and goes out about town. She falls in
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: love with this other guy, and everything seems to be
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: going well until she finds out that her new boyfriend
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: is longtime best friends and recently terrible enemies with her client.
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: I know it's fiction, and I can basically handle this
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: anyway I want, but I was curious about what the ethical,
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: real life thing would be to do. Would you refer
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: the client who you've worked so hard with to someone else,
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: keep in mind, you've just moved there. You don't know
• 55:01
  Speaker 3: other professionals yet. Would you break up with the new boyfriend?
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: Would you ignore the whole thing and hope no one
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: figures it out. I know it's not a real problem,
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: but I was just curious. Thanks anonymous pronouns.
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: Are she and her? I think this could work.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: I like, first of all, for all of you listening
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: more questions about consulting us on TV shows.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: Books, fiction.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, and this, we have a wealth of knowledge that
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: no one is happening.
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: Nobody asked us. Also, there was a time, this was
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: like a year and a half ago. We're on our discord.
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: We had a couple of people that just decided to
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: start writing pod therapy fan fiction.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: It was great. It was always really fun.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: So a little sexual, but.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: It was good.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: I mean, the show is a little sexual, so it
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: was honestly, Yeah, this was before Whitney, so it was
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: it was weird for you.
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of homo going on. It's fine. It
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: was what the people wanted there. It is that day
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: Nick Tang walked into his office, there was and damn
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: she was the administrator. Oh mister, she said, I don't
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: know what our clinic is up to.
• 56:24
  Speaker 5: Spe there, it is.
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: The administrator, the administ I shouldn't be doing I shouldn't
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: be doing this.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: That's clearly Jim's intern. It's okay, okay, okay, mister Nick.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: He's nice. Mellennia, I did not know Jeffrey Epstein. Oh
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: my god, it's good. I need I need a Jim
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: drop of him saying that.
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: Perfect.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: This is back. I was trying to participate in your bit.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: I was supporting you. Back to state.
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: All right, writer, here's where this wouldn't work in a
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: small town.
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, oh small? Is this a small town scenario?
• 57:07
  Speaker 4: No?
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: The writer didn't say that, but I assume it is.
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: I kind of got the vibe that it was time.
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: It feels like a hallmark. That's what I was feeling
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: right in there.
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: Christmas Town.
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: Yes, Christmas Town. This would not work in a small town,
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: I think. Then you've got a whole bunch of pro
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: I think to make this believable, it has to be
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: a larger city.
• 57:26
  Speaker 5: Okay, you want to hear next, small town version.
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: I know a small town version. Okay, so you look
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: at you like a population of two thousand. No, I'm
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: thinking they have one wal Mart? Okay, super wal Mart. No,
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: no grocery.
• 57:42
  Speaker 5: This is a good question. Super.
• 57:44
  Speaker 7: No.
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: I think it's thirty thousand.
• 57:47
  Speaker 5: I think less than small ish town.
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: I'd come from a town of two thousand, so that's
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: what I had in mind where.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: I grew up. Therapy just checks out for you.
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: Therapist starts working with Patie. They're cooking, doing really good.
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: Therapist hooks up with random guy in town, falls in
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: love with random guy, discovers Oh no, my patient and
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: boyfriend are mortal enemies, a tale as old as time.
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: Slash former friends. I know that I'm working with well,
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: I love one and I'm working with the other. I
• 58:23
  Speaker 3: feel allegiance to both.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: What do I do the easy? And I can't believe
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: that the therapists ruin me for last? The single word
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: that is the answer to all of this hear it,
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: thunderdough baby man leaves a sorry knife in the tree stump,
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: and you just one man leaves can fix this for you,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: all right.
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: I feel terrible. I feel conflicted because my my client
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: is a capulate.
• 58:57
  Speaker 4: But my.
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: My you biled I wasn't going to start the joke,
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: and I think you were.
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: I think you were. No.
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: Here's the thing, here's the thing. I'm so used to
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: not being able to finish my own fucking jokes on
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: this show that I don't even.
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: Need to know there are because why do you always
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: blame me? Okay, they're They're just as much to blame
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: much blame I never she does, she just did. I
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: didn't give you montague for the audience. Who doesn't Who
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: wasn't the next quiz? Who wasn't Who wasn't.
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: Joining us for dinner tonight? Jim commented, Wow, you made
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: a really funny joke.
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: Was joke finish? But why was that attacking me? I
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: was complimenting? Okay, I don't see Jacob or ever, just
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: stopping what they're doing to be like, Nick, you're a
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: really funny.
• 59:57
  Speaker 5: Guy because listening, I don't say that because.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: Walked in looking like Neo from Crashed Jacob. This is
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: why people will give you trampliments, man, because you're a dick.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: You know, you're like you and it's like, okay, I'll
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: never complin.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 5: Notice it was a sweater, so you took it off.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh, I can see, but it looks like.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: A light sweater. It was a little bit of a drift.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: No, I thought for sure, like you're gonna whip it
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: open and have like guns inside it was.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: It was seventy degrees and windy, Yeah, which in Las
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: Vegas calls for a light sweater.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: It cuts through you, very very it does. So okay
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 3: in this scenario, this hypothetical fun scenario, do we deal
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 3: with this by breaking up with our boyfriend? Which seems extreme?
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: And also I don't want to live a life I
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: have to constantly change.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: My relationships on my clients. Yeah, the story is over.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: I don't like that done. You go the other direction
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: where you tell your client I need to refer you
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: out because there's a conflict of interest, which I think
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: there's a leg to stand on there, or Whitney's direction,
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: what do you do? We all have to all get together,
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: come one, like, we don't even know who's fucking where?
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: You play a game? Who can say in my mouth?
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: I figure it out? You get in a dark room
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: and just go nuts. That's what Ted, that's tested. Try
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: that multiple times. We love you. Test. This is always
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: tests a solution to whatever conflict's going on. She's like,
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: m just settle this with a friendly game of who's
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: in my mouth? Who ordered the drink? Guys? I know
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: what we're gonna do, all right, So Whitney, what do
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: you doing? This is we're looking for a real female therapist.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: Hot take. We need drama. What are you gonna do?
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 5: We need drummers therapist.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: Let's go with what you would really do. Then let's
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: go with the drama.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 4: Okay, I feel like mine can be blended. The real
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 4: therapist answer is you ignore it. That's your client and
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 4: that's your partner. If you feel like you can't anymore
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 4: then that then maybe you need to make a move.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: Is it weird if.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: Every week your boyfriend is talking shit about your client
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: in every session, your client is talking about your boyfriend
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: like their coworkers.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 5: For you, yeah, sounds like you're not very professional.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: Is that weird for you? Is that weird? I feel
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: like that's weird.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, but here's the thing, Like, at some point,
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: let's just say the relationship goes well, and then there's
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: an engagement, and then there's a wedding. Okay, right, I mean,
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: but here's the thing. If it's a small town like
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: that's going to be in the paper like engagement.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 5: You're old.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: No, no, that would make that you're on the wrong
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: side of this. That would be front page the britt Tribune.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 5: Yes, there's a bridge, so it says.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: Count s and and so we're excited. And then your
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: client goes, hey, what the hell?
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because for two years I've been seeing you, I've.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: Been talking to about your fiance, and you've been telling
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: me how to deal with him, and the whole time
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: that was your fiance.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 4: There you go, you have the story written. That's the climax.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 4: It's written in the paper. They find out, then you
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 4: deal with that.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: Time comes and then the.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: Husband's like, wait a minute, you've been seeing so and
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: so for therapy and you never told you I swore
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: an oath on this bad.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 4: I was just gonna say, no, there's no badge, Jim.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 4: I mean, Jim, you don't even have your your pH d.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 5: There's no bad Wow.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: They talk from a master's degree.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: I'm not tell me all about it.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 5: I still have my master's degree. We're equals. I know
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 5: we're equals. That's what I'm telling you. So you can't talk.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: I guess I can go ahead. We're all equals exactly.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 4: No. I feel like you don't say anything until you
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 4: feel like it's a problem. If you do feel like
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 4: it's a problem. Well, and going back to what I
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 4: think Nick said, or maybe it was Jim, like, if
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 4: your your spouse or fiance whatever comes you and says,
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 4: oh that was your client, You're like, I'm not telling
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 4: you that.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: I can either confirm it, Okay, can I can I
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: confide in you guys something? This is just.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 5: Somewhere out there, I think.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: Just right, Okay, before you admit to another crime, can.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 5: I say, and Jacob's chair go ahead?
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: I am complicated, Like, okay, yeah, fine.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 5: No, no, no, I'll keep your secret.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: I feel like you're on the right side of this. Okay,
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm gonna go with your instincts. Okay,
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: I can only handle.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 5: So many crimes, how many clients, And I was gonna tell.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: You a story, so okay, but no, I don't know
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: how much of this. I wish this was a Patreon.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 3: I wish this was behind the paywalls. All right, we
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: may do some clever editing. So there, I was, all right,
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm gonna give as much as I can.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 3: All right, So I didn't have pants on for three
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: days running there.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 3: I think it's it's tough sometimes because like obviously, so
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: like I'm sure that Whitney hasn't treated a whole bunch
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: of professional gamblers who happened to just run paths with
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: her husband, And it's like that that's a very unique career,
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: right whereas my spouse's career is a public servant. And
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 3: I'll just kind of keep it generic and so like, yeah,
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 3: of course there's a lot of other people in that profession.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: People might people don't know this about Nevada. In any
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: county that has under a certain number of people, there
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: is a certain profession that becomes legal there it is,
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: and if you are at a certain number, if there
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: is a certain number. There's a certain number of that
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: profession that actually becomes mandatory. So if there is anybody,
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: if there's a different then the state is required to
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: hire public.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 3: Serve public servants to serve right the public in in
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 3: safe ways. Shout out Jim's wife, proud of you, unrelated,
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 3: really proud of you. So there's been realities over you know, god,
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 3: over fifteen years of practicing where like somebody will be like, oh,
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 3: I know your last name, you know, like I know
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 3: your spouse, I met them.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: Is that going to be an issue? And I'm like,
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: how it's not? Like socially, my mother was a college
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: English professor there you go, and she taught like freshman
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: English at the at the local university. And anybody I
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: met who was a certain age, if they said like,
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: oh I went to this university, I'm like, oh you
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: know my mom? Yeah, you just know my mom. Sure,
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: but I'm not I'm not interacting with them in the
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: same way that you're interacting with me. So you have
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: that that interaction with a professional rescue to it.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 3: I've never been in a situation where a patient has
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 3: said I have beef with this human and it turns
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 3: out to be a family member. I've never had that,
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 3: but I have had situations where they've been like, Hey,
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 3: is it okay that I choose you as my professional
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 3: to work with because your last name does resonate I
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 3: know your spouse, and I'll be like, okay, how well
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: do you know them?
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 6: Right?
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 3: Like, I don't want this to be like this whole
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: thing and if they're like I only know them through
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: reputation or whatever. Like we've worked in the same general school.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 3: There's hundreds of teachers like.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, this did not go where I thought it was
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: gonna go, okay, because I thought you're gonna say, like,
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: I hate this dude's wife, so I'm going to sign
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: up to be a client.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, like you thought that's what I would do. Yeah,
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: that's great, buddy. I like that you think I'm capable
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: of that and wouldn't stop me by now. I love that.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: It's really an indictement on you that you're in business
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: with the joker and you don't fucking care.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, I'm just trying to You're not the
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: one you would be the victim in this scenario, Okay, Oh,
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: like a friend or coworker of your wife yes, who
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: has beef with at work? Oh and then she's like
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: trying to figure out how do I get bat And
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: you're like, oh, her husband's a therapist.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: Vill put you into this. Okay, that would suck. Yeah,
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: that would be the worst. So grateful that that big
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: said I'm glad that you reacted that poorly. Yeah. I'm
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: on the right side of the issue. So I feel
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: like we've given.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: The writer all sorts of different slants, UH to enjoy
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 3: the fan fiction with this. I think the general takeaway
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 3: is we would probably stay neutral.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I think for if I'm a therapist watching a
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 4: movie or reading a book.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 5: About that sheep.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: By the way, they're always off.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 4: I know. That's why I had such a hard time
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 4: with Shrinking. And I know, I don't know if it's
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 4: fro yog. Somebody in Discord keeps mentioning Shrinking and I
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 4: I want to watch it. I do. I think it
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 4: probably gets better, but that those first few episodes irritate
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 4: the hell out of me.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 5: I just cannot get through that.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: The problem is the problem that because Jim and I
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: had this conversation on this show when Shrinking was out,
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: and I don't think you were on the show back
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: in the good old days there is everyone's just the
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: boys club, remember that no pants days. We got to
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: tuck the dicks away.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 5: That terrible them away.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: Oh god, damn wow. I thought, that's just wow. Wow.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: After I buy you dinner, you're the worst date ever, worst,
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: the worst. We're gonna take quick break and I've got
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: for doing this show. We're never doing this show again.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 4: That was it?
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 6: That was it.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 4: You were saying, go on, Yeah, all I was saying
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 4: was that I feel like that is the closest like
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 4: actually kind of like the you ignore it and push
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 4: through as a therapist, because that is kind of uncomfortable,
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 4: and I don't really know what I would do.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 5: And then yeah, maybe it gets like leaked in the
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 5: paper or something.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 4: They both find out. There's a lot of tension there.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 4: So I feel like if I was if I was
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 4: watching or reading, like watching that show or reading that
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 4: book as a therapist, I would appreciate that. I'm like, oh,
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 4: that's tough, Like I probably would keep my mouth shuit.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 4: But that's really uncomfortable, Like that would feel a little
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 4: more real than just like the insane things that the
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 4: unrealistic things that there.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: It does also matter kind of like how deep that
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: beef is and if that's the reason why the person's
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: in therapy.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good because that's the way.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah thing, Yes, that is because if you were already
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 3: with your partner and then somebody showed up and said, hey,
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: I have beef with this person and you were like,
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: oh shit, I know that person. We're in a relationship, okay,
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: then you'd be like, hey, I have a conflict of interest.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: I'm not the right choice, Like I could see that happening.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: What's interesting about the fan fiction scenario is that you
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 3: start with the client first, then you get into the
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 3: romantic reallyationship, and you don't necessarily see those two things
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 3: connecting until late or after both are really established. That's
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: what makes it a real dilemma to me of like, oh,
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: now you've got to retroactively go back, and which one
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 3: would you end it? You have to retcon that shit,
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 3: and like, honestly, I don't think any therapist would end
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: their romantic relationship. I think they would go to the
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 3: person they work with professionally and say, hey, something has
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 3: developed that causes me to no longer be able to
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 3: help you on this case. I have to let you go,
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 3: I could see that happening. You're not going to end
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 3: your life.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: Or you just intentionally become a really shitty therapist, get
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: trying to drive them away.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: I think story, honestly, you could relationship no, but you're
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: a therapist, or the romantic relationship.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: And here's the thing. Imagine this is a story where
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: the therapist is like, I need to end this therapy.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: I don't feel comfortable, like I'm just going to become
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: a very terrible therapist. And then they'll leave. But then
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: the person's like really committed and they won't leave, and
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: so it's just a constant battle of like, okay, I
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 2: got to become an even worse therapist. New TV show, Yes,
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 2: I would watch that. Yes, what about Robert.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: Anyway, writer, write the script, send it to us, we
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: want to read it. We may act it out. Drinking
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: the thing that Jim that we talked about on a
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: drinking back then. I think I'm so curious to see
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: what you guys would think of it if you keep
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: on watching it, because I believe that they handle the
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: things that you guys have issues within the first couple
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: of episodes. In the later episodes, I believe those things
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: get addressed, and so the things that you're like this
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: wouldn't happen with a therapist. I think you're just right.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: Well yeah, because Harrison Ford's character in that is a
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 2: very good ethical therapy, right And I do like this,
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 2: right you, I do see exactly exactly.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you for bringing that full service. I would because
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: he's Jesus. I just want to be clear.
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 3: We would do for free all night like that would
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 3: just be so cool.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 2: It's the only place I feel valued as a human being.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 3: I would also, I feel like i'd be in a
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 3: weird position if I went with you to a gay bar,
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 3: I would be. I feel like it'd be more your
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 3: pimp than your friend. I don't want anybody to think
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 3: we're together, because.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: It's what it's like to go to a bar, to
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: a gay bar or any bar, people have fun. I
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: want people to buy. Have you had fun fun in public?
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: All right? Solid question? All right? Not as much as
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: you might think. All right, less less it's the under
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: But my point is only I want free drinks. I
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: don't know how to support you without getting in your
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: way because I don't.
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 5: Want a cockpilcab.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: I just I'm sick of in the tap.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 3: Guys, Honestly, tonight hurt. It really fucking hurts, really fucking hurt.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: Do things for the day. I'm done something. We may
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: have already hinted at.
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 3: What the tab was, but if we have not, if
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 3: you're in the discord, let's go and play prices right,
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: go ahead and get it in there.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: Get your down to the dollar. I have the receipt
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 1: down to the dollar and penny. I bet Jim will
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: even post the picture of the receipt. I haven't with
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: the tip, just the tip, just the tip. I was
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: a generous tipper. Jim didn't tip. Jim refused to tip tipped.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: He said the prices weren't fair, so he didn't. I
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: was happy with our service. She was lovely. You were
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: the problem, honestly, with oysters and ship. Why why they sent.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 2: Them all back?
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: The oysters were bad.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 5: They took them.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: They were bad because he said, like, we didn't eat
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: these because they tasted bad.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 5: They didn't.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: They didn't, they didn't, they didn't.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 5: She said, oh, okay, they definitely did.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 3: You just say that to get up they did two.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 5: I have We're really good.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 4: Then Nick goes, oh, that doesn't taste good because he
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 4: hadn't tried them for and then I tried one off
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 4: his that second plate and they were bad.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 5: I was like, they weren't good.
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: No, you didn't pay for the oysters. The only one
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: you paid for was the was the jalapeno role.
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 5: Also discord why what do you exactly?
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: What are you gonna do nothing? I'm gonna take it
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: up the ass. Will we come back? We're talking about abstinence. Good,
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: you're listening to take it up the ass? Taking it
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: up the ass.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: Today's episode is brought to Robert Kevin Chamberlain, Ben Stanley,
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 2: and Adam Hathaway. Hey Yo, Andrew Langby and Chad meg
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: and at love Prince and if you would like to
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 2: sponsor the show, become a therap producer picture on dot
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 2: com slam Therapy.
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 3: All right, Winny and I are tiede next wedding in
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 3: Dead Last, give me your cinnamon, okay?
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 2: H Percy Spencer Jim discovered the principle behind the microwave
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 2: oven in nineteen forty five.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: What gave it away? Oh? I remember this story. I
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: can do it. There's like a story that goes with this, Yeah,
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: there is. Let me take it for two. Go ahead.
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 3: The story is that there were astrophysicists working on some
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 3: kind of satellite to listen to like the microwave background radiation,
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 3: and they accidentally generated microwaves and it killed birds.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, wow, for the game, I think if I think,
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: if the answer has any of the elements dead birds? Okay,
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: astrophysicists accidentally making microwaves. We're not gonna say, astrophysicist, that's
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: soo easy. Oh Jesus, is it really? But but but
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: the dead birds? And how did the birds die trying
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: to listen to space? But what killed the birds?
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 3: Though they made microwave background radio? I don't know they
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 3: made microwaves cooked the birds. I think they were killing them. Okay, okay,
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 3: so dead birds?
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: Are they? Dead birds?
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 2: No?
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: I was rooting for you.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 3: Let me tell you right now, nobody is more upset
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 3: with me than Alec Lancaster. Alec Lancaster sitting at CERN
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 3: is like, God, fucking damn it, Jim.
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: You're better than this, no one, no one surprised. I'm sorry, Alec, Alex,
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: I surprised. Nobody's Surprise'm sorry.
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 2: Buddy, Whitney. Would you like to just go with anything
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 2: other than dead?
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: I want to I want to change the rule that
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: if somebody steals they have to if the person before
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: they go off, they also have to go off the hill.
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: This idea, let's do it. What is your complete shot.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 2: In the dark?
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 5: Cast have tonat.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 6: Maybe?
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, it's not too They.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 4: Were trying to figure out how to cook food in space.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: No, yes, that was yes. They had a microwave emitter
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: that they were They were trying to work on communication
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: or something for for space stuff. So they had a
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: microwave emitter and they put something in front of the
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: microwave emitter and it got hot, like like food or
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: something like that.
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 5: Just say, no options, what are the options?
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 4: Kid?
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 2: Just get it right, thank you, it's getting late. I'm
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: just gonna tell you that's fair. A chocolate peanut butter,
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: chocolate peanut candy bar that melted while he stood near
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 2: a magnetron.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, we all remember its the microwaves. There's a magnetron
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 1: in your microwave oven that like makes the microwaves. That's
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: the thing that makes the microwave. You're talking about birds
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 1: getting cooked?
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 2: Is not this correct?
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: He he didn't panic.
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 5: He birds died chocolate.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 2: Well, he grabbed popcorn kernels and then an egg and
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 2: started doing experiments.
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: He was like, this is cooking some shit. I'm going
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: to cook some shit.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 4: I like this.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 5: How much of science was just accidents?
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 2: All of it?
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Pretty much. I mean even the stuff that people
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: are like, Like we talked a few weeks ago about
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 1: Marie Curriy, Yeah, researching into radiation. Like she's fucking working
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 1: on that ship and she didn't understand it enough because
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: she died.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, h Whitney. Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin in nineteen twenty
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 2: eight in one of the most consequential accidents in history.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: What actually happens, but stuff condom broke?
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 4: It was but options, I feel like I should know
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 4: this probably a good idea.
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 2: A mold sample was mailed in by a countryside colleague.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 2: He deliberately b He deliberately tested fungal agents on bacterial cultures.
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 2: C He spilled a culture tray and noticed the effect
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 2: while cleaning it up. Or d he left contaminated petrie
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 2: dishes uncovered while he went on vacation. Mold sample was
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 2: mailed in by a countryside.
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: Counter colleague, A county colleague.
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 2: County colleague. No Jacob what was b He deliberately tested
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 2: fungal agents on bacterial cultures.
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's it. Oc He spilled a.
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 2: Culture tray and noticed the effects while cleaning.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: I don't hate that one.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 2: What's the He left contaminated petrie dishes uncovered while he
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: went on vacation.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: I mean those are both really good. Man, those are good.
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 1: I'm not judging you. If you get.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 4: No, give me D.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: But where did he go on vacation?
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 2: If you want the points, I need to know where
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 2: you went.
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: Right holiday? Give me general region. I have no idea.
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 5: It came back Ireland.
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 1: He came back from holiday to find mold had blown
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: through the window. Wows about mold? Yeah, yeah, I was
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: with you. I knew. I knew mold was the only
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: thing I knew about penicillin. I'm the best.
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 2: Jacob Albert Hoffmann true synthesized LSD in nineteen thirty eight
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 2: while researching air got fungus. What was the intended medical
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 2: application for LSD?
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: If you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you. Square He's.
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 2: Give me options, Hey, anti fungal treatments for grain crop diseases.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 2: Speed it natural sedatives derived from aer got alkalides over
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 2: surgical anesthesia.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: That interesting.
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 2: See circulatory and respiratory stimulants maybe or D military research
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 2: into disorienting compounds.
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 1: Is the military one? Yeah, it is not come to me.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 1: Give me b no.
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 2: Anti fungal treatments for grain cropot that one. Circulatory and
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 2: respiratory stimulants, take a It's neither one of those.
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 1: It's e.
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 4: E.
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 5: I like how much.
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, he shelved it and k back five years later,
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: and what he described was an unusual presentation.
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: So she in the lead.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 5: I think there's got to be with you at least
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 5: or not.
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 2: I'm probably still winning.
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 1: There's got to be great books out there about the
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 1: like l s D research. That's a terrible movie. Okay, yeah,
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: I mean no, I haven't seen it. What's it about?
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 1: I mean the title kind of gets it. That's the
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: one about like the the LSD experiments. Is it LSD?
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: I thought that was the one where they were like
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 1: experimenting with like telekinesis, and.
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 3: Shets it, Yeah, they're giving them drugs to see if
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 3: they can channel telekinesis.
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 2: I thought there's telecinesis is moving objects with your brain, right.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 4: I thought that's what it was a telepathy reading mind
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 4: or something, But is it LSD?
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 5: I think there's drugs, drugs us baby drug I don't know.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: If you want me to hang around a goat, you
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: gotta give me some drugs. Honestly, I'm not doing this sober.
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 1: You want me to stare at this goat, you got
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 1: to give drugs. I'll tell you that right now. Abstinence
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: the ultimate party trick. Work at that show.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 3: Hey, friends, I've got a spicy one for you, guys.
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 3: I'm a person who genuinely enjoys the horizont until mombo,
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 3: both in a relationship and out of one.
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 1: You're the person who genuinely enjoys it most. We don't
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 1: want this person, though they really get.
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 3: Into it both in relationship and out of one through
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 3: responsible hookups. However, my friends are convinced that I'm quote addicted.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 3: To prove them wrong, I took a bet and went
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 3: over a year without any sexual acts at all. No partners,
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 3: no masturbation, no porn who.
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you who lost? Have you guys seen that
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 1: episode of Seinfeld? Everybody see that episode? Therapy version of
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 1: this one of the most famous episodes of television issues.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 3: I'll bet you don't get through an episode. I missed it, sure,
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 3: but stopping wasn't actually that hard.
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 1: I did.
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 3: They're there's the camera now. I didn't have withdraws or
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 3: a breakdown. I just had more free time before the
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 3: quote dry year. I definitely prioritize.
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 5: Them January a longer meaning I love it.
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 1: I love it. I definitely prioritize playing a game of
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: Hide the Canoli. I'd plan it into my day, occasionally
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 1: skip a hangout with friends to get laid, use a
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 1: bit of sleep to make it happen. My therapist knows
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: I've had up to four partners in a month, but
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 1: usually I prefer hunkering down with one person. I'm also
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 1: super safe. Sure they appreciate that verse they do.
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 3: I get tested when switching partners and ask for tests
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 3: before we collaborate on a physical project. Wink, But doctors
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 3: are wild. Every time I get out of a relationship
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 3: and ask for a panel, they look at me sideways
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 3: and ask, did your partner cheat on you? When I
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 3: say no, they get even weirder and ask, then, why
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 3: are you getting tested?
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 1: Like hello?
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 3: Other people like to know they are STI free, regardless
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 3: of the person they've been with. What are we doing here?
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: Folks?
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 3: Run my blood and tell me I'm clean already. Anyway,
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 3: As addiction therapist, I want your take. What specific behaviors
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 3: do you look for to differentiate a high libido active
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 3: lifestyle from an actual addiction. If someone can put the
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 3: substance away for a year just to win a bet,
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 3: is that the ultimate proof that the addiction label doesn't
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 3: fit is planning a quote dopamine delivery service into a
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 3: busy schedule, a red flag, or just efficient time management.
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm just a person who likes a
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 3: good time and respects my health.
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 1: But what do you guys think? Thanks? My pronouns are
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 1: he and him? Side note?
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 3: I was looking up some more fun ways to say
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 3: having sex, and these are a couple I found that
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 3: are just wild.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 3: Engaging in the squish, that the squish, taking the skin
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 3: bust to Tuna Town.
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 1: Uncomfortable, that one is honestly too much of a mouth,
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 1: too much mouth wra.
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 3: Without the singlets, testing the suspension, like the bedroom to
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 3: Cathalon good and taking a trip to Bone Canyon. I
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 3: kind of like that, honestly, Bone Canyons, like hot Dog.
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: In the hallway, like it's not good for anybody. If
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 1: you're in bone canyon. Leave. I mean, there's there's the
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 1: Shakespeare one, there's making the Beast with two backs. Oh,
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 1: I forget which Shakespeare play that's from, but that's that's
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 1: one of his illusions, the sexes making the least with
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 1: two backs. His deep tis deep?
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 3: All right, addiction addiction versus having a damn good time
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 3: and if you can stop doing something for a year.
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 1: So Nick, let's let's do the first question. I've slept
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 1: in weeks of so tired masters all these canyons.
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 3: All right, Nick, question, We've both had substance use addiction
• 1:28:28
  Speaker 3: clients who have said I was able to stop for
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 3: X amounts of time, therefore I am not addicted.
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on that?
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 2: Well, I think to some degree they're this is the thing,
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 2: like we don't really this is going to sound crazy
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 2: to most people, but like in addiction's treatment, we don't
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 2: really use the term addiction. It's not really that relevant.
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 2: We're really looking at are you meeting die agnostic criteria?
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 2: That's the main thing.
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 1: Are you are you talking about when when you say that,
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: when you say that you don't talk about addiction? Are
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 1: you just talking about kind of like the mental addiction
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: or are you talking about physical addiction things as well
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 1: or or both?
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, because it's included. They're they're all part of
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 2: the criteria.
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: So kind of the medical addiction part just doesn't come
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 1: into play.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 2: Or I don't know it's it's but it's part. The
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 2: The idea basically around this is we're looking at do
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 2: you meet diagnostic criteria? Like so it's it's not just
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 2: like it's how does this impact your life? Because oftentimes
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 2: you use the word like addiction like well, I'm not
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 2: addicted to it, as in like okay, well then it's over.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 2: Then it's done, there's nothing to talk about, when really
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 2: what we're looking at, well was how does it who cares?
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 2: Like if someone says I'm addicted to it or I'm
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 2: not addicted to it, they're really only talking about one criteria,
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 2: which is their ability to control use. Okay, that's it,
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 2: and that doesn't that doesn't capture everything that there is.
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 2: There's all you know, we look at, you know, how
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 2: does it impact your lifestyle, how does it impact your relationships?
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 2: How does it impact uh, you know, your overall functioning.
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 2: Like there's a whole bunch that goes into it, not
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 2: just whether or not you're your perceived ability to control usage. Okay, right,
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 2: so that's I think where kind of addiction kind of
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 2: falls into that and when we're trying to look at
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 2: this as a larger scale this.
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: Let me back up for just a second because something
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: I thought about earlier during initial git whatever, the initial
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 1: gate letter earlier this episode with a F and W
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 1: and everybody.
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I forgot about that one, and that
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 2: was a while ago, it was, it's been it's been
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 2: quite a while.
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but uh, people calling other people alcoholics? Yeah, is
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 1: that something that tickles anything in you guys? When you
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 1: hear someone call someone else an alcoholic?
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's definitely dated. We don't really even use
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 2: that term anymore. Okay, it's very antiquated. We've kind of
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 2: gone away from that, and it's not very helpful, like
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 2: and it's it's very blaming, it's very labeling.
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: So we're alcoholic often gets in the way.
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, it's not really helpful to us in that sense.
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 2: So really, you know, to the writer's point, like how
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 2: is it affecting you? That's what I want to know, Like,
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 2: what is what is the amount of negative or the
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 2: amount of distress that this is causing. If it's not
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 2: causing and even it's hard than okay, then what.
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 1: Are we talking?
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 2: What are we talking about?
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: Okay? So Nick, can we zoom in on what you
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: and I?
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 3: So this is not legal diagnostic language, but colloquially we
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 3: use those what four or five c's of addiction and
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 3: and often that's our back of the envelope way, just
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 3: kind of estimating, like, nah, this is how you might
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 3: like qualify a person who likes to have a few drinks,
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 3: a person who enjoys a robust sex life, a person
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 3: who enjoys gambling, a person who's doing their damn thing
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 3: from people that have a real problem. So like what
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 3: are those and like what are we thinking about their cravings?
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 2: Compulsive use? I got to look up the other two.
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 2: These are the seas though that jim Ja right, Cravings, compulsions,
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 2: control of use, consequences.
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, the four seas of addiction.
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 3: We have a fifth sometimes you throw in there too,
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 3: so craving. So help us break those down. So when
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 3: when the writer's saying, look, I have a really healthy
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 3: sex drive, I enjoy myself and I try to behave
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 3: responsibly and so I'm trying to, you know, check in
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 3: do my thing. But my friends say, I'm sex addicted, right,
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 3: and they're worried about it. So all right, here we
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 3: are addiction professionals. When we estimate this is what looks
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 3: like addiction to us, take through some of those four seas.
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 3: So we talk about compulsivity, we talk about chronic work,
• 1:33:05
  Speaker 3: we talk about maybe cutting back and the inability to
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 3: do that. Take a steeper into that, I mean, so
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 3: we'll start with the third one.
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 2: Control.
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you were able to go a year without it,
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 1: that's a good sign.
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be a pretty good indicator that there
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 2: is some level of control.
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 1: We like that.
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so this is I mean, actually, this is how
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 2: I remember my old boss telling me, like, this is
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 2: how they used to test whether or not somebody was
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 2: addicted to a substance. You know, as they would say, Okay,
• 1:33:38
  Speaker 2: I want you to go home. You know, if we're
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 2: talking about alcohol, I'm going to go home, and I
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 2: want you to have one beer per night for the
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 2: next week.
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 1: Just one, okay, okay.
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 2: Because if they truly had an addiction to alcohol, they
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 2: couldn't have just.
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 1: One, gotcha.
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like as long as there was beer in the fridge.
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 5: They were drinks getting drunk.
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 1: You keep going.
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 2: So to be able to say, like I can go
• 1:33:59
  Speaker 2: a week without drinking, Okay, cool, great, have just one
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 2: every night and go a week, all right, That's how
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 2: they used to do that. We don't really do it
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 2: anymore because now we can't encourage people to do the behavior.
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 1: That we're probably a bad idea one, yeah at all.
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: I mean I can think of a couple of things
• 1:34:18
  Speaker 1: that we will. People might look at a skew these
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: things a little yeah.
• 1:34:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And so that one, I think you're probably safe.
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 2: The other one, the immediate one that I would go to,
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 2: would be consequences. Okay, is it causing consequences?
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 3: Are you having negative consequences but you keep doing the
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 3: behavior anyway? Yeah, that's not a good sign.
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 2: So the diagnostic criteria that that relates to would be, like,
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 2: it's causing physiological problems. I realize how it is affecting
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 2: my heart, but I continue to do it anyway. I'm
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 2: getting as or I realize how it affects my relationship
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 2: with other people, but I continue to It's the use
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 2: despite negative consequences, right, So that.
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 1: Crabs have moved me into the guest room, but I'm
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 1: still going at it. You know that crabs, the crabs.
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 2: Are now in control of the house. They dictate which room.
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 3: Do you know that crabs are an endangered species?
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 7: Now?
• 1:35:16
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, go ahead. It's because because the people like
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 1: you that shave, all right, yeah, because you're selfie. I
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 1: know you guys don't support his only fans. All right,
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 1: I care your choice. I signed up, I was credit
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 1: card on file. I refuse to charge. You didn't charge me.
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 1: And now I know, and I just want you to know.
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 1: You're part of the problem. Okay, these are living things,
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 1: if you care. I have heard this over and over again,
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 1: that crabs are endangered. I have to think that that
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 1: is a my but I have no idea. All right,
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 1: let's go around the room. Let's go around the room, Whitney, crabs, crabs.
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 2: Let's go around the room, Whitney says, and then we're
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 2: all just like, all right, cool, then we.
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 1: Just we can move on. Anybody about nobody in pod
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 1: therapy Land was waiting for the three of us, give
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 1: me goddamn. When he was like, no, you're welcome, America.
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 1: We can move on, all right, so you were saying, so.
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 2: Two out of the two out of the four, I
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 2: think we can eliminate. It sounds like from the writer's perspective,
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 2: we can take those out of the Okay, cravings and compulsions.
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 2: We don't really know. Only the writer can really tell
• 1:36:48
  Speaker 2: us that. But there's nothing here that I'm thinking is
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 2: like a clinically significant amount of distress that would warrant
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 2: seeking help for.
• 1:36:58
  Speaker 1: I will say that when it comes to substance abuse,
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 1: I do get a little leery when somebody says, my
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 1: friends said that I have a drug problem, so I
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 1: quit for a month. I showed them I'm clearly not
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 1: an addict anyway, now I'm back at it. I don't
• 1:37:15
  Speaker 1: like that as a measure because they're like, oh, well,
• 1:37:18
  Speaker 1: clearly a cocaine addict couldn't quit for a month. Well,
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 1: because if you if you accept that there is a measurement,
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 1: then you have to be able to define where the
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 1: measurement is. Yes, And so like if a month or
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 1: a year or whatever it is is enough to prove
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 1: that you're not an alcoholic, or you're not a drug addict,
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 1: or you're not whatever you want to say the label is,
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 1: then what amount of time is not enough to prove that,
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 1: and where is that line? That's what I was going to, like,
• 1:37:45
  Speaker 1: it's two weeks enough or three weeks enough, one week,
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 1: one day. Side note, I said on ice Cream Social
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 1: the other day that I have not had anything to
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 1: drink in a few weeks. And I realized on my
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 1: way home tonight that that's just a pure like eighties
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 1: alcoholic character lie, because it just means that I haven't
• 1:38:07
  Speaker 1: been like drinking heavily for the last few weeks, like anytime.
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: Because I realized it because like, oh, dinner tonight having
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 1: saki and everything with a little touch of saki.
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, oh, I do this all the time,
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 1: of course, but I'm thinking about it through like health perspective,
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 1: and like I'm not thinking about it through an addiction vein.
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about it through a different I'm thinking about
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 1: through actually sleeping through the night. If you listen to
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 1: ice Cream Social, I haven't been sleeping through the night
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 1: very much. And part of my experimentation over the last
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 1: month or so has been cutting out booze. Do you
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 1: need to cuddle? I don't need to know, but I will.
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm like I'm here, but I won't stop.
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 5: You will stop trying to cuddle me.
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 3: But I mean the thing with the writer like you,
• 1:38:55
  Speaker 3: I support you. I just I just want to know
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 3: that's where our friendship is at.
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what you need.
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 5: I'm going to help you already.
• 1:39:01
  Speaker 1: I appreciate good night. I appreciate your dark canyon where
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 1: you let me nestle. Now what we call you?
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 5: F whoa.
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 1: Circle?
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 6: Back?
• 1:39:15
  Speaker 1: Solid?
• 1:39:18
  Speaker 5: Sorry?
• 1:39:18
  Speaker 6: Nick?
• 1:39:18
  Speaker 2: Well again, like I think the whole thing like even
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 2: if you know you Jim was saying, like, well, you know,
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 2: I don't really like this idea of like, oh I went,
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 2: you know, one month and I didn't use or whatever.
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 2: Therefore I'm okay. Again, that's really only looking at one
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 2: of the criteria. Many No, that's great, that's so good.
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 3: I don't I get worried when people are like, see
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 3: he's able to stop a desire to prove.
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 1: Now I'm going to go back to me thinks thou
• 1:39:49
  Speaker 1: doest protest too much.
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 3: Now I'm going to go back to like using it aggressively,
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 3: and it's like that doesn't equalize, Like that's not fair.
• 1:39:56
  Speaker 3: So but several of the other criteria you listen, like
• 1:40:00
  Speaker 3: using despite negative consequences using over time like craving emotionally
• 1:40:06
  Speaker 3: or physiologically, these.
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 2: Are important points or time spent, Yeah, time preoccupation, like
• 1:40:12
  Speaker 2: if you're if you're spending all of your time right
• 1:40:15
  Speaker 2: trying to get that or recovering from the effects of it,
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 2: then that's part of it as well.
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 3: So I'm really glad we had to cover that because
• 1:40:24
  Speaker 3: the way, So addiction to sex is one of these
• 1:40:29
  Speaker 3: things that like has been extremely political throughout the manifestations
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 3: of the DSM, So this is one of those things
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 3: that in the last DSM it almost got added, and
• 1:40:41
  Speaker 3: it was very very close. We almost added hyper sexuality
• 1:40:45
  Speaker 3: disorder and the criteria we're exactly as Nick just defined,
• 1:40:49
  Speaker 3: because that's pretty much in alignment the way we think
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 3: about all addictions. It ended up getting stopped, and the
• 1:40:54
  Speaker 3: reason why was the fear that when you add something
• 1:40:58
  Speaker 3: as a disease, it's hard to hold people accountable to
• 1:41:01
  Speaker 3: that behavior. So when you said, like gambling disorder is
• 1:41:05
  Speaker 3: a disease, suddenly all these companies that lent all sorts
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 3: of money to a person who is a gambler, they
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 3: were out that money because that person had a mental
• 1:41:15
  Speaker 3: illness and they could just like excuse.
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 1: It with being like yo oh, Like if a bank
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 1: gave somebody a personal loan and then they got diagnosed
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 1: as a what do you call it? A gambling disorder?
• 1:41:27
  Speaker 1: Great yep, and they could say all have a medical disorder,
• 1:41:30
  Speaker 1: medical disorder, bankruptcy or whatever the equivalent is.
• 1:41:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, but that doesn't happen, forget it's very rare. But
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 2: well no, because like you're still responsible.
• 1:41:39
  Speaker 1: For that you you saw, are responsible for the debt.
• 1:41:41
  Speaker 3: So like historically there was a very famous example in
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 3: Las Vegas where a lawyer took all the retainers that
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 3: he was given for cases and he gambled them.
• 1:41:50
  Speaker 1: He lost them, Bernie made off.
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 3: And so he ended up winning a whole case in
• 1:41:56
  Speaker 3: which he defended himself effectively by saying, I have a
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 3: mental illness and like that needs to be treated as
• 1:42:02
  Speaker 3: a disability rather than like accountability. Anyway, So there's a
• 1:42:06
  Speaker 3: lot of fear that if you validate sexual addiction in
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 3: this medical way, people will get away with crime. And
• 1:42:13
  Speaker 3: and that's okay, that's a serious fear. I get that
• 1:42:17
  Speaker 3: that doesn't seem like a good way to It sucks
• 1:42:19
  Speaker 3: because like a lot of addictions, we really just want
• 1:42:22
  Speaker 3: to call facts facts, and like, I don't necessarily want
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 3: to sit around and like parse the details of what
• 1:42:28
  Speaker 3: the consequences are. I want to call it what it is.
• 1:42:31
  Speaker 3: And I actually I don't talk about this on the show,
• 1:42:33
  Speaker 3: but like, I work a lot with sex addiction and
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 3: it shows up in all sorts of different ways.
• 1:42:39
  Speaker 1: People that addicted to pornography. Some of your clients do
• 1:42:42
  Speaker 1: as well.
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 3: I yeah, that's right, So me as a person and
• 1:42:46
  Speaker 3: then my clients, so we both are struggling, which they
• 1:42:50
  Speaker 3: really appreciate, you know, because.
• 1:42:51
  Speaker 5: All they are.
• 1:42:56
  Speaker 2: Well, it's nice to leave the office and be like,
• 1:43:00
  Speaker 2: at least I'm doing better than my therapy.
• 1:43:02
  Speaker 1: Yah, the same corner. I get it. She charged you
• 1:43:11
  Speaker 1: how much? Jesus, I don't.
• 1:43:15
  Speaker 3: I treat a lot of sex addiction writer, and and
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 3: just to like give you, you know, some feedback on that. Look,
• 1:43:22
  Speaker 3: at the end of the day, I agree with Nick,
• 1:43:24
  Speaker 3: Like whether or not you reach the clinical threshold of
• 1:43:28
  Speaker 3: a diagnosis is different then whether or not you notice
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 3: you have a problematic dependence upon sexuality.
• 1:43:35
  Speaker 2: If you and your friends are betting on it, that's
• 1:43:37
  Speaker 2: a good symptom.
• 1:43:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not nothing. That's not nothing, man, so if
• 1:43:42
  Speaker 1: you notice that, like your life revolves around casual sexuality
• 1:43:47
  Speaker 1: and that's causing a clinically significant problem in your work,
• 1:43:52
  Speaker 1: your occupation, your friendships, Well that's some I want you
• 1:43:56
  Speaker 1: to get therapy on that.
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 4: I just matters like how they felt during that year
• 1:44:02
  Speaker 4: taking the time off, Like sure, because you know a
• 1:44:05
  Speaker 4: lot of it. We're talking about just the facts like oh,
• 1:44:07
  Speaker 4: you took a year off, what does that mean? Or
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 4: if you just have one beer a night, what does
• 1:44:11
  Speaker 4: that mean?
• 1:44:12
  Speaker 2: Whatever?
• 1:44:13
  Speaker 4: But I feel like there's a lot of value in
• 1:44:15
  Speaker 4: what was that experience, Like for that year, did you
• 1:44:17
  Speaker 4: find yourself having urges and you just like restricted yourself
• 1:44:21
  Speaker 4: or just fucked one beer a knight it was just
• 1:44:25
  Speaker 4: one you know, that's not really iurious I did it
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 4: in the ass that doesn't count, Like you said, God can't.
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 1: I got stuck in that bottle and it was painful. Yes,
• 1:44:37
  Speaker 1: that will happen.
• 1:44:38
  Speaker 2: But also compared that to somebody who let's just say
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 2: we know hypothetically, we know this person, this other person,
• 1:44:47
  Speaker 2: we know for a fact they do not have an
• 1:44:49
  Speaker 2: addiction to sex. Yeah, and that person goes a year
• 1:44:53
  Speaker 2: without sex, also miserable.
• 1:44:55
  Speaker 1: Right, right?
• 1:44:56
  Speaker 2: And so like how they're right, how they are going
• 1:45:00
  Speaker 2: knowing about it, and how they're dealing with it once
• 1:45:02
  Speaker 2: it's removed. Yes, in that particular situation. Like sometimes that's
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 2: useful data, sometimes it's not. I don't know.
• 1:45:09
  Speaker 3: So if I may just like one last thought on this,
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 3: and this is me on my soapbox a little bit.
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 3: I actually treat a good amount of sex addiction. It
• 1:45:19
  Speaker 3: comes up a lot, and it's one of those things
• 1:45:22
  Speaker 3: that I feel like gets laughed at a lot because
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 3: it's sex, and we all relate to it, you know,
• 1:45:26
  Speaker 3: we don't all relate to gambling or drug using or alcohol.
• 1:45:29
  Speaker 3: We all relate to sex, and so there's a way
• 1:45:31
  Speaker 3: to sort of minimize it. I've had men and women
• 1:45:34
  Speaker 3: over the years who honestly do struggle with this, and
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 3: so I just want to take a beat to kind
• 1:45:39
  Speaker 3: of do a PSA Sex Addicts Anonymous, and also Sex
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 3: and Love Addicts Anonymous, and also Pornography Addicts Anonymous. These
• 1:45:50
  Speaker 3: are all fellowships that follow the twelve steps. They have
• 1:45:54
  Speaker 3: anonymous meetings online in person, and a lot of people
• 1:45:59
  Speaker 3: really benefit from that. And so if you're out there
• 1:46:02
  Speaker 3: and you feel like you just have a really unhealthy
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 3: relationship with pursuing sexuality in any format. I would strongly
• 1:46:10
  Speaker 3: encourage you to start with sex Addicts Anonymous. Just starting there,
• 1:46:15
  Speaker 3: download the big book, read it, see if you relate,
• 1:46:19
  Speaker 3: and there's a lot of growth. There's a lot of
• 1:46:21
  Speaker 3: growth to be done there. And I just feel like
• 1:46:22
  Speaker 3: it's not something we talked.
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: About a lot. Obviously as a show, we tease a
• 1:46:27
  Speaker 1: lot about sexuality. We play with each other, we goof off.
• 1:46:29
  Speaker 1: You know, it's one of the ongoing jokes of our
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 1: show that can give the impression that that's not a disease.
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 1: But it is.
• 1:46:36
  Speaker 3: And so if you're out there and you find yourself
• 1:46:38
  Speaker 3: just compulsively, way too connected to sexuality and one manifestation
• 1:46:43
  Speaker 3: or another, please please look into the Twelve Steps associations
• 1:46:48
  Speaker 3: with that. It's a great way to explore it and
• 1:46:50
  Speaker 3: just see if there's something there for you to grow.
• 1:46:52
  Speaker 1: Sure, we do. We catch a lot of flak for,
• 1:46:58
  Speaker 1: especially me on the show. I catch a lot of
• 1:46:59
  Speaker 1: flat for not taking things seriously, especially serious topics like
• 1:47:03
  Speaker 1: this and a sexual addiction. Of course, like everything else,
• 1:47:06
  Speaker 1: it's it's very serious. So if you do find yourself
• 1:47:09
  Speaker 1: struggling with it, like Jim said, get online, download the
• 1:47:12
  Speaker 1: big book. And if once you download that big book,
• 1:47:15
  Speaker 1: you find yourself printing it out onto reams and reams
• 1:47:18
  Speaker 1: of paper and then greasing it up and shoving that
• 1:47:22
  Speaker 1: big book inside of yourself, okay for sexual gratification. All right,
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 1: then I'm gonna need you to read part of that
• 1:47:31
  Speaker 1: book as well as fucking yourself, okay with it. That's
• 1:47:34
  Speaker 1: the sixth se that we don't talk enough about. Cramp.
• 1:47:38
  Speaker 1: There it is, there, it is. Yeah, you've learned something today.
• 1:47:42
  Speaker 1: We're gonna take quick break and when we come back,
• 1:47:44
  Speaker 1: wrapping up the show probably forever you're listening to Pop Hervy.
• 1:47:49
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  Speaker 1: All right, last trivia round up and then I'm gonna
• 1:48:08
  Speaker 1: wrap it up.
• 1:48:09
  Speaker 2: All right, Let's just wrap it up?
• 1:48:13
  Speaker 5: Is fucking out? Yeah, thanks, dying.
• 1:48:17
  Speaker 1: I gotta wake up at four thirty.
• 1:48:26
  Speaker 3: It's late man, or we could be done As we
• 1:48:31
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  Speaker 1: Every time I dive into anything political, I go, oh,
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  Speaker 1: is so much worse, so much, so much worse. So
• 1:49:20
  Speaker 1: we've got some new friends as we record here today.
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 1: Who's new to the their party there, Nick.
• 1:49:26
  Speaker 2: We've got a new therapal laughless, I like that name.
• 1:49:30
  Speaker 6: Welcome.
• 1:49:30
  Speaker 1: We got a new therapod Chelsea Sarahson, who you've already announced.
• 1:49:34
  Speaker 2: Great cool, And we've got a new theradactyl. The Office
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  Speaker 2: already in there?
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  Speaker 1: Yep, you already did it.
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  Speaker 1: I'm Nick, I'm linking great job. I'm Jim. This is
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  Speaker 1: Bye. Your father's dick has been in me.