Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / healing your mental health is not linear (and that's okay)

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healing your mental health is not linear (and that's okay) · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

• 0:00
  Picture this. You're learning to ride a bike
• 0:03
  for the first time. You're on a quiet St. your hands
• 0:06
  gripping the handlebars, your knees wobbling.
• 0:08
  Maybe you fall the first time, and the second time too.
• 0:12
  It's frustrating, right? But with every stumble, every
• 0:17
  time you get back on the bike, you're learning.
• 0:19
  Now imagine if you expected yourself to hop on that bike and
• 0:23
  ride perfectly the first time. Unrealistic, right?
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  You probably would have given up after not meeting those
• 0:31
  expectations. Healing your mental health works
• 0:35
  the same way. It's not about doing it
• 0:37
  perfectly. It's about showing up, trying
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  and learning from the wobbles. Today we're diving into why
• 0:44
  mistakes and failures aren't the enemy of healing.
• 0:48
  They're the teachers. My name is Ethan Jewell and
• 0:52
  welcome back to Feel Your Feelings.
• 0:58
  It's so good to be back. I haven't posted an episode of
• 1:01
  this podcast in a couple of months.
• 1:03
  I took a little hiatus because I honestly was just having a
• 1:07
  really hard time doing this. I'll be completely honest,
• 1:11
  although I talk about mental health a lot, I still struggle
• 1:14
  with my own and I had a little bit of a rough time over the
• 1:18
  past few months. I had a hard time motivating
• 1:20
  myself to record, so I kind of fell out of schedule.
• 1:23
  So thank you so much for coming back and joining me.
• 1:27
  I'm going to be trying to get episodes out weekly again as
• 1:30
  often as I can and I appreciate you bearing with me.
• 1:33
  If this is your first time tuning into the podcast,
• 1:35
  welcome, My name is Ethan Jewell.
• 1:37
  I'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm not a
• 1:39
  professional in the mental health industry whatsoever.
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  I'm a normal person who, like you, felt some big feelings and
• 1:46
  wants to talk about them from a realistic, relatable standpoint.
• 1:50
  I'm not going to sit here tossing statistics at you.
• 1:53
  I haven't studied this for years.
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  But I have felt all of these feelings and I have spent the
• 1:58
  last six years trying very hard to heal and learn about my
• 2:03
  mental health. So thank you so much for joining
• 2:05
  me on this journey. And today we are going to talk
• 2:09
  about why healing your mental health cannot be a perfect
• 2:13
  process, why you have to mess up, and why you have to
• 2:17
  acknowledge and be OK with the fact that it's not going to be a
• 2:21
  perfect process. It is a journey.
• 2:24
  I know that that's super cliche, but at the end of the day it
• 2:27
  truly is all about the journey and sticking with it.
• 2:32
  Now we live in a world obsessed with perfection.
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  Social media, success stories, and even most self help content
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  can make it seem like healing is a straight path, like you just
• 2:45
  need to follow the right steps to become quote fixed.
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  But that's not how it works in real life.
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  There's some research that consistently shows that
• 2:56
  perfectionism can hinder mental health improvement.
• 2:59
  It sets us up for feelings of shame and inadequacy because
• 3:05
  spoiler alert, nobody is perfect.
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  You're not going to get it right first try.
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  If you are coming into something, feeling depressed and
• 3:14
  anxious, striving for perfectionism, trying to solve
• 3:18
  those difficulties that you are facing, they could actually make
• 3:22
  these things worse. You could find yourself
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  thinking, oh, I'm not good enough, I am failing.
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  I'm having another hard week. I must be broken.
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  Here's the thing. Those mistakes, those slip backs
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  are proof that you're trying. When you slide back into an old
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  habit, when you snap at someone during a tough day, when you
• 3:43
  don't do the work on certain days, it's not failure, it's
• 3:48
  feedback. You know, think about the fact
• 3:51
  that you are reverting. The fact that you're sliding
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  into an old habit means there is progress being made and that
• 3:57
  alone is amazing. The fact that you are
• 3:59
  acknowledging, wow, I'm really not doing well today.
• 4:01
  That is progress and it's something to be very proud of.
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  You're not going to wake up and randomly be healed.
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  You have to fight tooth and nail every inch of the way.
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  You have to climb that ladder and rungs are going to break,
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  but you can fix them. It's like a toddler learning how
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  to walk. They don't just.
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  Fall once and say well I guess walking isn't for me and crawl
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  for the rest of their lives, no. They fall, they adjust, and then
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  they try again. It's a process of experimenting,
• 4:32
  reflecting, and adjusting that creates real, lasting change
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  with your mental health. Because here's the good news,
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  you don't have to get it right every time.
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  You just have to try. The consistent effort, even if
• 4:45
  it's small, makes a huge impact over time.
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  Maybe it's journaling twice a week instead of everyday.
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  Maybe it's practicing mindfulness for 5 minutes
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  instead of 30. Maybe it's simply stepping
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  outside instead of going for a long walk.
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  You just have to start. Studies on neuro plasticity, the
• 5:03
  brain's ability to rewire itself, show that small repeated
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  actions create new mental pathways.
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  Healing doesn't come from perfection, it comes from
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  persistence. It comes from showing up for
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  yourself. For making a commitment to do a
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  small act every single day, to move instead of feeling
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  stagnant, To try for yourself. So the next time you find
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  yourself saying I failed or I'm not doing enough, I want you to
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  remember the wobbly bike analogy.
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  It's not about writing perfectly on day one.
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  It's about getting back on after you fail.
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  Your healing journey will be messy, imperfect and full of
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  trial and error. And that's OK.
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  In fact, it's necessary. You are not a robot.
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  We cannot immediately take in new programming and be perfect
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  every single day. You are going to slide back into
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  old habits. You are going to snap at people
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  you love. When you're having a hard day,
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  you are going to struggle. It will take time, more time
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  than you will ever want it to take.
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  But that's the thing with healing.
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  We don't really get to choose. We just have to try.
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  There is no Eureka moment. There is no grand finish line at
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  the end of the journey. There is no trumpet fanfare at
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  the start of the day when you suddenly just wake up healed.
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  Instead, there's years that will pass.
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  Your chest will feel less heavy, your mind will feel less foggy
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  because of the habits that you formed from trying.
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  Because you didn't strive for perfection.
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  You just tried. And every time you try, you're
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  choosing yourself, you're showing up, and that's where the
• 6:52
  magic of healing happens. That's going to wrap it up for
• 6:57
  today's episode. Thank you so much for being
• 7:00
  here. It's really good to be back.
• 7:02
  If you need help feeling your feelings, you should check out
• 7:05
  my music on all platforms under the name of Ethan Jewel.
• 7:09
  I almost guarantee it'll make you cry.
• 7:10
  It's mental health spoken word and I think it's really unique
• 7:14
  and you might enjoy it. Also, shoot me a message on my
• 7:16
  Instagram at Jewel Boy with an I under score and let me know what
• 7:20
  you thought about today's episode.
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  So thank you so much for being here.
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  Thank you for understanding that you don't need to be perfect,
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  you just need to try. And as always, thank you for
• 7:30
  feeling your feelings. I'll see you next time.