Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - Pack Your E-Bag

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Bonus IMPROV - Pack Your E-Bag · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  listeners were so strong i know we're all flexing
• 0:18
  i don't know why we're doing it but we are i started it i'm a douche
• 0:23
  yeah well and then i was mocking you and then she didn't know and then she just did it and then i
• 0:28
  and then I just wanted to join in.
• 0:30
  I was like, I was flexing.
• 0:31
  I want to flex too.
• 0:34
  Welcome to very strong friends.
• 0:36
  No, very fine friends.
• 0:39
  See that?
• 0:39
  See what I just did?
• 0:40
  That was improv-ing our name.
• 0:43
  Let's do some more of that.
• 0:45
  Francis, what do you say?
• 0:47
  Yeah.
• 0:48
  Joe, can we get a suggestion?
• 0:52
  Yes.
• 0:53
  Thank you.
• 0:54
  Nice guy.
• 0:54
  Your suggestion is Volcano.
• 0:58
  Okay.
• 1:02
  Maybe I don't understand the extent to which,
• 1:08
  or the quickness with which lava flows,
• 1:10
  but I feel like people that,
• 1:14
  especially in these modern days,
• 1:16
  that die from a volcano.
• 1:18
  It's like...
• 1:20
  It can be really fast.
• 1:22
  It can be really fast?
• 1:23
  Yeah.
• 1:23
  I'm assuming it's really slow.
• 1:25
  It can be slow and it can be very fast.
• 1:28
  Okay.
• 1:28
  I mean, if it's like a torrent or whatever.
• 1:30
  Yeah.
• 1:31
  We won't judge those people.
• 1:31
  I don't judge you.
• 1:33
  But if it's slow moving and you're just like, I got time.
• 1:35
  And then it's like, it's fine.
• 1:40
  I'll be able to get out of here.
• 1:41
  And then you don't.
• 1:42
  I got to finish this phone call.
• 1:44
  Yeah.
• 1:46
  I always thought instead of landfills, why don't we just throw a trash in a volcano and
• 1:52
  have it incinerate the trash?
• 1:54
  Not a bad idea.
• 1:55
  Apparently there's toxic fumes, but it's like we already breed those.
• 1:58
  Yeah.
• 1:59
  Just throw it in.
• 2:01
  Oh, you mean just like burning whatever?
• 2:04
  Yeah.
• 2:04
  I guess there are countries where they do burn their trash.
• 2:08
  Yeah, but this is volcano power, baby.
• 2:11
  It slips underneath that.
• 2:12
  It's like nothing's getting out there, man.
• 2:13
  Yeah.
• 2:14
  That would be such a crappy way to die.
• 2:16
  Lava?
• 2:17
  I don't think you'd feel it.
• 2:17
  I mean, if you fell into a pit of like magma or lava.
• 2:21
  No, but like if you were one of those people that thought they had time and could get out of there.
• 2:25
  and then it just came up and it hit your ankles
• 2:28
  and then your feet disintegrate and you collapse
• 2:31
  and then it covers you in lava.
• 2:33
  So you just are like, ah!
• 2:35
  It is probably really terrifying, the actual experience,
• 2:38
  but I feel like it's so hot that it wouldn't be painful.
• 2:44
  You would just become instantly numb.
• 2:47
  Mm-hmm.
• 2:47
  And probably go into shock.
• 2:49
  Yeah.
• 2:50
  Let's never find out.
• 2:53
  Okay.
• 2:54
  Deal.
• 2:55
  I guess I'll cancel our helicopter volcano tour.
• 2:59
  Yeah.
• 2:59
  I mean,
• 2:59
  but the people that go,
• 3:01
  like I'm sure it looks cool,
• 3:03
  but people that go,
• 3:04
  I mean,
• 3:04
  it's gotta be so hot,
• 3:05
  even if you're far enough away,
• 3:06
  but it's like,
• 3:07
  you would go to an active volcano.
• 3:09
  Like they do do that.
• 3:10
  Like let's take a helicopter tour of a actual,
• 3:12
  like that would be so fricking hot.
• 3:14
  Yeah.
• 3:14
  It would be hot.
• 3:15
  Not,
• 3:16
  not in a good way No in a bad way Bad hot bad hot Bad hot Super bad But I mean like the Pompeii all the people that are preserved
• 3:29
  That's how fast it can happen.
• 3:30
  Or are they that stupid?
• 3:32
  They're all posing for pictures.
• 3:35
  We got time. Keep painting.
• 3:37
  Keep sculpting.
• 3:39
  Nobody move.
• 3:41
  The irony is they were preserved.
• 3:44
  Yeah.
• 3:44
  I love when irony is used correctly
• 3:47
  yeah
• 3:48
  it's so willy nilly these days
• 3:50
  but actually if you look at the definition of irony
• 3:53
  it could basically be like anything
• 3:55
  that's like an unexpected outcome
• 3:57
  so
• 3:58
  did they change that
• 4:00
  to fit the willy nilly way with which people use the word
• 4:03
  couldn't tell you no one told me
• 4:05
  well it's like it also kind of lines up with hypocrisy a little bit
• 4:07
  because I think like the definition
• 4:09
  is like when you say one thing but you mean another
• 4:11
  that's not necessarily
• 4:13
  like you don't necessarily know that you mean another thing.
• 4:15
  Like there could be dramatic irony where like other people know that there's a
• 4:19
  hidden meaning to what you're saying,
• 4:20
  but you don't know that.
• 4:24
  Oh my God,
• 4:25
  run.
• 4:26
  Francis,
• 4:26
  that just exploded.
• 4:27
  It just blew my mind like a toe.
• 4:28
  I got time.
• 4:29
  I was,
• 4:29
  I was thinking the same thing.
• 4:30
  You were?
• 4:31
  The toe.
• 4:31
  Yes.
• 4:32
  I was going to say it.
• 4:33
  You should have.
• 4:34
  Oh,
• 4:35
  next time.
• 4:36
  I'll save that joke for the next time.
• 4:38
  Please do.
• 4:40
  And now,
• 4:42
  improv.
• 4:43
  Beth.
• 4:49
  Yeah?
• 4:51
  I just got some devastating news.
• 4:53
  Oh my God, what?
• 4:55
  Apparently, our area could see a tornado in the next one to two years.
• 5:00
  We gotta go.
• 5:02
  Oh, no.
• 5:02
  No, we got time.
• 5:04
  No, that's what they want you to think.
• 5:05
  Babe, we got time.
• 5:06
  No, pack your e-bag.
• 5:07
  We gotta go.
• 5:08
  My e-bag?
• 5:09
  Emergency.
• 5:10
  Oh.
• 5:11
  Don't you pay attention when I talk while you sleep?
• 5:12
  No, honey.
• 5:13
  We have time that you can say the whole word.
• 5:15
  You don't need to breathe everything.
• 5:18
  No, no.
• 5:19
  You're being too...
• 5:21
  What's the word?
• 5:24
  Stable?
• 5:25
  No.
• 5:26
  Rational?
• 5:27
  No.
• 5:29
  You're not taking this seriously.
• 5:30
  We got to go.
• 5:31
  We'll go to my parents.
• 5:32
  I know you don't like them.
• 5:33
  We'll make it work.
• 5:34
  No, I'm not going to your parents
• 5:35
  because there might be a tornado
• 5:37
  one to two years from now.
• 5:39
  We got time.
• 5:40
  We got time, babe.
• 5:43
  I don't understand. Don't you have a fear of the unknown? A fear of natural disasters? You know people die in these situations.
• 5:50
  I know. I know. A tornado would be really scary if it was on us right now. But it's not.
• 5:57
  I can't believe that we live in modern times and we have the capability to predict this event. And you are so arrogant that you think you have time.
• 6:07
  But I do, hon
• 6:08
  And
• 6:09
  We have reservations
• 6:12
  On Saturday
• 6:13
  Do you think the restaurant's gonna be open
• 6:16
  Knowing what we know?
• 6:18
  Yeah, I do
• 6:20
  And honey
• 6:22
  Don't bring it up to everybody
• 6:24
  Look, a year from now
• 6:26
  We can start preparing for this
• 6:27
  A year from now
• 6:29
  We might as well be dead
• 6:30
  Babe, come on
• 6:32
  Don't say that
• 6:33
  I don't want you to start living life
• 6:36
  as if we already died in a tornado okay I guess we have to vote on it And I know the family rules You get two votes So let do this Okay Vote to leave All right
• 6:49
  I'm using both my votes on no.
• 6:51
  What?
• 6:52
  I'm sorry, hon.
• 6:53
  Ugh.
• 6:54
  Fine.
• 6:55
  Sorry.
• 6:55
  Fine.
• 6:55
  I'll live in fear.
• 6:57
  Okay.
• 6:58
  I'm carrying my background everywhere.
• 7:01
  Honey, don't do that, please.
• 7:02
  Nope.
• 7:03
  I'm doing it.
• 7:03
  You keep some weird things in there.
• 7:05
  Yeah.
• 7:05
  And I have my urine recirculator technology.
• 7:08
  I know.
• 7:08
  I know.
• 7:08
  and you insist on using it in public.
• 7:10
  You never know.
• 7:12
  When the tornado.
• 7:14
  Do you remember?
• 7:17
  Do you remember?
• 7:19
  Yes.
• 7:20
  You do remember?
• 7:21
  You know what I'm talking about?
• 7:22
  Yeah.
• 7:24
  Do you remember when there was,
• 7:28
  they were predicting that there would be an earthquake in Japan
• 7:31
  and then you started preparing for the tsunami that might happen
• 7:36
  if that ever happened?
• 7:38
  It's a one-two punch, Beth. That's what happens.
• 7:40
  I know, but they were just saying that theoretically Japan could have a big earthquake.
• 7:46
  And I was ready, wasn't I?
• 7:48
  I know. I know. You were ready.
• 7:51
  I would say, to a fault.
• 7:54
  I would say, you didn't need to be drinking your own piss at the restaurant.
• 8:02
  Just because the tsunami, for all we know, could have gone the other way.
• 8:08
  Does it mean it didn't happen?
• 8:11
  We didn't go.
• 8:12
  All right, honey.
• 8:13
  Look.
• 8:14
  Some tsunamis are underwater.
• 8:15
  I can't believe I'm explaining this to you.
• 8:17
  You voted to stay.
• 8:19
  We'll stay.
• 8:19
  Okay.
• 8:20
  Thank you.
• 8:22
  Cut to Saturday evening at the restaurant.
• 8:27
  Ooh.
• 8:27
  I can kind of see why they call it revolution.
• 8:30
  Because it's got kind of like a cool revolution-y vibe to it.
• 8:34
  I hope the food is as good as everyone says it's going to be.
• 8:37
  Yeah.
• 8:38
  Hey, how fast can we get our food in case there's a tornado?
• 8:40
  Honey.
• 8:41
  What?
• 8:41
  I want to enjoy this.
• 8:44
  I want to enjoy revolution.
• 8:46
  Okay?
• 8:47
  Okay.
• 8:47
  Don't mind.
• 8:48
  I'm just going to carabiner us to the table.
• 8:50
  Honey, no, no.
• 8:51
  You will thank me if the storm picks up this restaurant.
• 8:55
  It's not going to pick up this restaurant.
• 8:58
  Okay.
• 8:59
  Just walk like a normal human being.
• 9:02
  I'm trying.
• 9:03
  I'm living in fear.
• 9:04
  Okay, well, just stop.
• 9:07
  You're embarrassing me.
• 9:07
  You want to sit with this?
• 9:08
  No, I don't want, put your pee away.
• 9:10
  I don't want your pee.
• 9:11
  We can bring pee in here.
• 9:12
  I asked.
• 9:13
  You asked?
• 9:17
  You asked.
• 9:18
  I emailed management.
• 9:19
  I asked them about their evacuation plan,
• 9:21
  how seriously they're taking this,
• 9:22
  and could I bring my own pee?
• 9:24
  Oh, my God.
• 9:25
  Oh, the manager's standing by our table.
• 9:28
  Why is the manager standing by our table?
• 9:31
  Just be cool, honey, don't.
• 9:33
  I am cool, Beth.
• 9:33
  I don't want to get kicked out of the restaurant.
• 9:36
  Is my breath smell okay?
• 9:37
  It smells like pee.
• 9:39
  Okay.
• 9:40
  Thank you.
• 9:41
  Oh, so everything?
• 9:44
  See you're enjoying the environment?
• 9:46
  Yes, we love it so much.
• 9:47
  I'm scared for my life, personally.
• 9:49
  I can't wait to sit down and just really enjoy a nice, slow meal where we savor everything.
• 9:58
  Yeah, on our way to Oz.
• 10:00
  Honey stop Yeah well why don you do that Here sit down I watch you guys sit down Okay thank you Yeah okay Do you do this for all the customers Just the ones that I think will be a good time
• 10:14
  Okay, you guys look like you're a good time.
• 10:17
  Thank you.
• 10:18
  What does that mean?
• 10:21
  I'll tell you if you sit down.
• 10:22
  Okay.
• 10:23
  I'm sitting.
• 10:23
  Sitting.
• 10:24
  Okay.
• 10:26
  What does that mean?
• 10:26
  No one respects our BYOP policy.
• 10:34
  Told you.
• 10:34
  Told you.
• 10:35
  What?
• 10:36
  I just, it's nice to see, you know, like when, if you're hosting a party and, you know, you put out some hors d'oeuvres and then no one has any, it's like, it hurts a little bit on the inside.
• 10:48
  That's like, that's how you feel when you allow people to bring their own piss, but then they don't.
• 10:53
  I've been so rude.
• 10:54
  Would you like some?
• 10:56
  Oh.
• 10:56
  Well, I'm on the clock.
• 10:58
  I shouldn't.
• 10:59
  Okay.
• 11:00
  I respect that.
• 11:01
  God, I want to.
• 11:02
  I can't.
• 11:02
  I can't.
• 11:03
  I'll make more.
• 11:05
  Okay.
• 11:06
  Here.
• 11:06
  Wait, hold on.
• 11:07
  Let me write down my address.
• 11:09
  Oh my God.
• 11:09
  We're two streets over.
• 11:10
  No way.
• 11:13
  Oh, good.
• 11:13
  We're neighbors.
• 11:14
  Great.
• 11:15
  Honey.
• 11:15
  I'm on Klineman.
• 11:18
  This is fortuitous.
• 11:20
  Here I've been scared.
• 11:22
  Okay.
• 11:23
  What?
• 11:24
  You want this?
• 11:26
  Yes
• 11:27
  You want someone that brings their own
• 11:30
  You know he tried to carabiner over to the table
• 11:34
  Could you do it for us sir
• 11:36
  What do you mean carabiner
• 11:38
  What
• 11:38
  Carabiner
• 11:39
  Over the table
• 11:40
  No no no
• 11:42
  Yes you want
• 11:43
  I'm attaching a carabiner to the table so
• 11:45
  Yes and then you were going to pull us from the roof
• 11:48
  Yes
• 11:49
  Oh in case of disaster right
• 11:51
  Yeah of course
• 11:51
  No there's not going to be
• 11:53
  Hold on
• 11:55
  You know what I'm talking about.
• 11:56
  Oh, of course.
• 11:57
  Oh, my God.
• 11:58
  You're prepared for this thing.
• 11:59
  Oh, my God.
• 11:59
  Oh, big time.
• 12:00
  She doesn't believe in it.
• 12:02
  No, I believe that theoretically there could be a tornado one day.
• 12:07
  I don't believe we need to pack up our lives and go to your parents immediately.
• 12:12
  My parents live on high ground.
• 12:15
  Really?
• 12:15
  Very high ground.
• 12:17
  I mean, I'm already packed.
• 12:20
  Do you?
• 12:20
  This is crazy.
• 12:21
  Do you want to come?
• 12:22
  You know, I actually was going to go stay at someone else's parents' house, but I feel better about you.
• 12:30
  What is happening right now?
• 12:31
  You're not a part of this.
• 12:33
  What is going on?
• 12:34
  Quiet, toots.
• 12:36
  Yeah, could you actually get us some water?
• 12:37
  Yeah.
• 12:38
  It'd be great if we could get some.
• 12:42
  My God, I'm going to...
• 12:44
  You're going to what, Beth?
• 12:45
  You're going to what?
• 12:46
  I'm...
• 12:46
  Fine.
• 12:50
  You two, go.
• 12:51
  Go live with your parents at a high ground and drink pee together.
• 12:56
  Sounds nice.
• 12:58
  I'm going to be enjoying a nice meal here at revolution.
• 13:01
  Yeah.
• 13:01
  We'll see for how much longer.
• 13:03
  Yeah.
• 13:04
  Wait,
• 13:04
  do you hear that?
• 13:05
  What?
• 13:07
  Oh my God.
• 13:08
  A tornado.
• 13:09
  The rope's off.
• 13:12
  You're the only man I ever loved.
• 13:15
  Ditto.
• 13:16
  I hate you both.
• 13:19
  See.
• 13:21
  Bye.