Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Dear Banya: To Be Continued

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Dear Banya: To Be Continued · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in, scrub.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: A dub duve and the tub a.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Tub tub Another day and now the dolla. I was
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: gonna say podcasts but not too Another day another dolla?
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: When are you heading off to Mexico?
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Right after we wrap this baby?
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: We are flying off to Mexico to do what taste
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: our wedding food.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: That's like, it's kind of crazy to think about the
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: what you the planning of a wedding and thinking of
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: a destination wedding and like you either go or you
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: either just don't taste the food and you trust that
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: it's gonna be great, or you have to make a
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: whole trip.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean there's like a lot of stuff that
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: you don't really think about because we're we're it's literally
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: like a business trip. So we're going out there just
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: for the weekend, and we have meetings, walk throughs with
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: literally every single vendor, flowers, rentals, food, music, wow, like
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: staff of the hotel because we want to look at
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: like some of the room one of the rooms that
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: we might stay. So like we literally just have meetings
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: back to back to back. But what's really cute is
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: that Robbie's parents and my parents are.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Going, oh my gosh, that's so fun. Yeah, So they're
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: not going to come to all the meetings because that feels.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: They're just gonna get to go on vacation.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Basically, they're gonna yeah, they're gonna go, but they're gonna
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: do the food tasting with us.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: That's so fun.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So they'll be there for the food tasting, but
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: they're not going to do any of the other meetings.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: What are you doing?
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: So the food our hotel is.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Like really really good, but we were going through the
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: menu because we have to pick like two I think
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: we're picking like four past apps, two appetizers, two mains,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: two desserts. So we're going through the menu and I
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: was like, we should I just put like a chicken
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: option because I feel like you always have to have
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: a chicken option because it feels like universal. And Robbie
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: was like, we're not chicken people. We never eat chicken.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: And we're like at the ocean, why don't we just
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: do surf and turf, Like, We'll do a steak option
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: and a fish option. So that's what we're doing.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like I've been to a wedding with
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: a chicken option. In a minute. It's always fish or steak.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: Really, Yeah, sure, I thought I was so irreverent. I'd
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: be like, we're not having chicken.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: No, I have chicken tacos as one of the like
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: past apps.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: So whatever you want to do, that's right, that's what
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I think too.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: Oh wow, he.
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: Seriously, I can have Yes, I'm not gonna eat the steak.
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: I'll have the fish.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Fine, great, it'll be a fish of the day, so
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: whatever's fresh that day, and you'll have a vegetarian option.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: It'll be yeah, vegetarian option. I don't know what that is,
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: but yeah, we'll have one.
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: I might have that. Who knows, we'll see you knows.
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: But you gave us options. That's all we can ask for.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I felt so irreverent not having chicken. It's your wedding,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: your party, get rid of the chicken.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You know what is interesting though, because I always
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: see these controversial takes on TikTok about, like when people
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: are like, it's your wedding, like, don't think of anybody else,
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: and they're like, but there are a lot of people
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: coming to celebrate you, So you do, in a sense
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: have to consider them, and it is a little bit
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: about them because they're coming to celebrate you.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Right, It's like if I made the whole menu gluten free. Yeah,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Like it's like, that's so rude.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: I would never do that.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Finding the balance of it being your day and in
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: certain decisions being like, Okay, this is what I want
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: and it's not the tradition, traditional route, but it is
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: what I want to do, but also being considerate. I
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: think our world do you feel like our world has
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: beencome very like me, me, me? And this is like
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: off subject from the wedding, but I was thinking about this,
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: how like for a long time. It was, especially growing
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: up in Christian culture is very much like serve others
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: before your self type thing. And so I've always had
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: that mentality of like thinking about others, which I think
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: developed into like people pleasing to an extent mm hm.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: But there's a part of me that is grateful for
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: that mentality of like not always thinking about myself first
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: in situations, because I think our society has become so
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: like I do what I want and only what I want,
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: and I don't consider people because like this is what
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: I want to do, as opposed to just being like
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: if we all just like work together and helped each
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: other out, you know, yeah, and obviously took care of
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: ourselves because you have to put on your mask before
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: you help others. I don't know, it's interesting. It's become a.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: Very like I see your point. It's true.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: It's like and it's so funny because that's the one
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: thing everybody tells me about the wedding. It's like, do
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: what you want, it's your day. And I'm like, well, yeah,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: but I want people to like be happy, Like if
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: our guests are miserable, then like, how am I gonna
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: have a fun day if everyone's like, you know.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Well, That's what I'm saying. It's that balance of like
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: you getting to make the decisions that you want to
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: make in details, but also like wanting everyone to have
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: a good time to celebrate, which makes you happy right
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: in return? So right, like everybody.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: So we're not really gonna do speeches at the wedding.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: We're gonna do them the night before mm hmm. And
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: it's for two reasons. One, there's nothing more buzzkilly to
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: me at a wedding than sitting through many speeches. I
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: feel like, when I'm buzzed, I want to like get
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: the party going.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean. And then once the speeches
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: are over, I'm like, I'm ready for bed. So it
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: was like that.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: And then also I feel like there's a like the
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: person you're asking to give a speech, they're not going
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: to enjoy themselves until their speech is over. Yes, so
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'd rather my friends and my family just
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: like get down and like have fun then be like
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: stressed about giving a speech.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: So it's kind of the the two tiers there. But
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know where I was going with that.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Well, you're just saying I think you were saying that's
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: not something you're that's something you're doing that's not technically traditional.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: Right, right, right, right right, But that's what I want.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: I want my friends and my family to just like
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: go gangbusters on Friday.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Are you doing band or DJ?
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: We haven't decided yet, Okay, so I'm hoping this weekend
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: we'll have a lot of clarity on stuff. But I
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: love a band, but if the band's not good, then
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: it's bad.
• 6:00
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, DJ is pretty safe, right, Yes, Like you can't
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: go wrong with the DJ Right band.
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: We had a.
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: Band, but we also went and saw them beforehand and
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: we knew these days like fun eighties songs and they
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: were a blast.
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: It's like done.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: So we can't go see them. That's the problem.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: They have sent in videos so like we can watch
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: videos of the bands and then they have like like
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: a list of all the music that they all the
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: songs that they can do. And they also said to
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: a lot of these things because we want to do
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: like strings for the ceremony. They said, if you give
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: them enough like lee Way or Headway or whatever it is,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: that they can pretty much learn anything.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: So I don't know.
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: By the way, I've been married for twenty two plus years,
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: that band is still around. They're still doing it. Yeah,
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: that should you guys google them. They're still still happening.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: That's so wild.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: You should have them come for like a INNIVERSI you.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: Should shout out to the barbies and yeah, bring them out,
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: bring them out?
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: All right? So are you doing are you going to
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: do a cake? Are you going to do something different?
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I think that we're going to have like a ceremonious
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: cake for like visuals and stuff. But I think we're
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: gonna have we picked out the desserts and they're they
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: I haven't tasted them yet, but they sound so bombed.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: Oh so you're good. That'll be this weekend that you're
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: tasting this.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: One of those like a chocolate like hazel nut chocolate option,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: and then the other one's like adult chate de leche
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: like cinnamon option.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: Yuh yeah, sounds delicious. Yeah, this is great. This is
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: this is giving forward momentum.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I know everybody is like I met this girl.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I was at this charity event this week, and this
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: girl's getting married next year, and she's like, what are
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: you getting married?
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: She's like, oh my god, that's so soon.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: I don't say that.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, please, I'll stressed. Yeah, the anxiety is already there.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: It is. Is this like something about getting older, where
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: like these months are going by so fast that I it,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: my mind is blown that we're like talking about like
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: that Thanksgiving is right around the corner.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: March is tomorrow, like literally it's tomorrow.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Mark, Well, March is like two weeks from now, basically.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like we'll give it a month.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it'll be a.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: Months the blink of an eye. Yeah, it's so.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Fast and then, but no, I do. I do feel
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: like January lags.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: It does forever. Yeah, January feels like two months. Oh
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: so you gain a month. Yeah, so I feel like, yeah,
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: it's like daylight savings time. Yes, yes, yes, okay, this
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: is great. Speaking of okay, I started thinking about this
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: when Robbie was trying to get your pants up with
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: the tools, and I was, well, I went into like
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: thinking about your wedding dress and stuff and like needing
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: to make sure we have all preparations on deck, you know,
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: just in case it doesn't above, just to be overly prepared.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because when you zipped me up in it
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: at the place, it was quite hard.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Well no, I mean I think that's just the structure
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: of the dress is like stiff. But so what happened
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: because it looked like a challenge.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: So I had like ten minutes to get ready to
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: like leave the house, which is poor planning on my
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: pot a choice, poor planning on my part. And now
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: I took a nap and I was like deep in
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: rem like I had drool all over my pillow, Like
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I was deep in my sleep.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: So it took me a little bit while to come to.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: So anyways, but I had to like leave for this event,
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: and I have that my outfit picked out in my head.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: It's perfect black pants, black blazer, or black shoes out
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: the door. I don't have several black plase are the
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: perfect black pants. They're like tight and they flare. They're
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: so crue Reformation, but shout out Reformation because your zippers
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: are horrendous. Yes, And so I cannot get them up,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: and I'm like I had to humble myself and I
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: was like, Babe, I need your help. I need to
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: like hold this together and you need to like zip
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: me in. And he's like giving it literally you can
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: see like the veins in his head popping out.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: He's giving it his all to like get it up.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: And he's like, Babe, it's not that it's too tight,
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: it's the zipper.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: Like he kept saying, it's the zipper. It's not you.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't care if it is me
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: or if it's a zipper. I just need it to
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: come on, like I need it to zip up. I
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: have to go and I'm wearing these pants. So he
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: brings out the toolkit, like a legit toolbox, like it
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: like puts on the table and it's like.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Sump'm oh damn.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: It's like it's black like a young handle, and I'm like,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: what isn't there that you're going to use on me?
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: Like I was concerned, And he pulls out.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: These flers to put supplier them and like like lift
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: it up and he's giving it again all his MND
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: like he's like out of breath at this point.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: Spoiler alert, he did not get my pants up. The
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: zipper never got up. Yeah, And the worst part is
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: he goes just wear them like that.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, because you're not jacket. He goes, you're jacking
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: and goes sit down, crush your legs, crush your legs.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: You can't see it. And I'm like I'm like bulging out,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: like my underwear is like exposed, God forbid. Someone hugs
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: me and like my ass is out, Like I just
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: can't do that. So we had to find these other
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: pair of pants, and I was laughing so hard because
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: they're like they look like pedal pushers on me, like
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: they're supposed to be pants to the ground, but they
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: like cut off like above. So I felt like I
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: was like, yes, I felt like Serena Carpenter and her
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: good Grace's little number like these like.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: High water type pants.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Anyways, I made it to the event, but yeah, I
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: wasn't happy with my outfit, but.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: You know, Robbie really gave it as all.
• 11:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I was moment I got you, I messager and
• 11:36
  Speaker 6: I was like, you hate to see the toolkit come out,
• 11:40
  Speaker 6: not the toolkit, the tool box, the tool box.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I will be going back to the store
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: and telling them, showing them.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: These videos that I posted.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: That was smart.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you literally tried everything, tried everything to get this
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: and the thing is they zip.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: I was gonna ask me, which is so irritating.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: I had a skirt like that where I would try
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: and I couldn't get it up, and then I'd take
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: it off and it'd go perfect and I'm like okay,
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: and it wasn't that tight.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, these are like stretchy pants, so they're like
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: meant to type, but they're not. I mean it quote
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: like I could pull it, you know, Chris Cross, Chris Cross.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: Anyway, but I got a lot of tips.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: I've never seen more d ms about something in a while,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Like it was a very hot topic that I will say,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: but I got a lot of suggestions of things that
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: you can like rub onto zippers to help them go up,
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Like I don't even know deodorant and like all.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: Kinds of things.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, leave it to the scrubbers.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it all. Yeah, I'm so bummed.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Well, I'll be prepared with a kit and sort of sorts.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: Also, I heard that wedding dress doesn't go up.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: I'm just I'm just saying I will be prepared for everything.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: And also I saw this thing where if you wear
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: if you use chalk.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: Was one what put chalk on the zipper?
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: No chalk, Like if you get a stain or something
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: on your dress or so much or like you know,
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: just something gets on your dress. You couldn't use chalk
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: on your white dress and it covers it.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: You know, who's gonna bring the chalk to Mexico?
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: I got it. Thank you, I'm on it.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: But we were trying to figure out Bachelorette Yes, which
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: is still in the works.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: It's still in the works, but I feel like January
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: is the perfect month because it's so long.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, we just have to figure out where we're going,
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: because you don't want to go somewhere cold.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Correct, So we might end up being somewhere cold. Oh,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: in this here city of Los Angeles.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: We could do like Aspen or something she can cute.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be cold. Oh, I don't want
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: to be cold. Okay, I'm not a cold girly. That
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: so I'm getting married in Mexico.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 13:47
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: The whole thing was not to not be cold, not
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: be chilly. I don't want to I don't want to cold. Wind.
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: Well, Los Angeles in January could potentially be cold.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: Cold, yeah, be hot though.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: It could be you never know.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: I have had February's where I'm on a beach in
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Los Angeles.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: I've had Februaries with rain.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, we have, yeah, a lot of rain.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: So that's the thing about Los Angeles here.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just unpredictable. Okay, we have some dear Bonnie questions
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: that we're going to get to, but first we're going
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: to take a break. All right, we are back. So
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: last week Tanya and I were on the phone and
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know, we were just having it was just
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: a random conversation and okay, we go to say goodbye
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, love you, and she's like, love you,
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: and then she goes cheers and I was like, oh,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: that was weird, and I hang up and then I
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: was like, did she say cheer? Like did I hear that? Right?
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: It felt like very like wonk, like forced, And so
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: she texted me She's like, I'm working on a news sindal.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to say cheers at the end of like
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: my calls or like it sound. How did it sound?
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: I was like, I think the more you say it,
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: like it'll start to sound a little more natural, but
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: like it didn't sound supernatural. And last or on Tuesday,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: I went to get drinks with or I went to
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: dinner with Keana, and she would say cheers like at
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: the end of like if she said thank you or something,
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: and it sounded so effortless, and I was like, Tanya,
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: you have to you have to just practice it. So
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: it started.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: So it has evolved since i've since we've spoken.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Laugh Oh wow, okay, because I.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: Heard this man.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I was at the vet actually and this man was
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: outside on the phone and he was like, I get
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: a may Chess And I was like, oh, that is
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: so much cooler than by, Like By is such like
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: a blah word like goodbye bye, Like who likes that?
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Nobody likes goodbye.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Till we say love you bye.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: Become bye bye is not great. You're right, it's very
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: final and morbid and negative.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So I'm like, I want a new sendoff. So
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna adopt this cheers. So I
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: tried out the cheers with you. I tried it out
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: with Robbie. It wasn't like hitting no, but I have one.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Now, what is it?
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: To be continued?
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Big? It's a long TBC?
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: Oh, TVC. It isn't really are your closest friends? You
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: can do TBC?
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, to be continued to.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: Like the person that the phone company, you could just say.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: To be a continued I think that's gonna be really
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: hard to sound natural and effortless.
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: Let's practice it, can You and I just having Hey
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: tomorrow morning, can you get in a little bit early
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: because uh we need to do some extra stuff for
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: the holidays?
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: Sure?
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Else like five sounds good okay?
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: And the trending and easy to send me three trendings?
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: Is that fine?
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: That's fine?
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: And none none about Kristin Cavaleri fine, fine, okay, great,
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: all right, I'll see it in my morning.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: To be continued. It's so good.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: I would almost feel dismissed by it.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: To be continued.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so good because it's like I cannot wait
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: to continue this with you next time.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know something about it feels dismissive, like I
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: wouldn't like it, so don't use it on me.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to use it on you.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Well I'm gonna feel like you've dismissed me.
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: But the idea is I can't wait to continue this conversation.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not goodbye to be continued.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: It feels like.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: Okay, to be continued.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's better the octave.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, to be continued, to be continued.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to see how this works out.
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: This conversation isn't over, it's to be.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Continued, exactly. It's not goodbye, it's to be continued.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Okay. Oh yeah, that's going to take some practice. That's
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: not something you ever say.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: To be continued, to be continued.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. Yeah. Well, I can't wait to
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: hear it in action. Yeah, real action.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: Uh huh.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Well shall we help the scrubbers with their question?
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, here we go.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: I'm thirty five I've been divorced for two years. I
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: have a three year old who lives with me full time.
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: Her dad isn't a supporter at all and has two
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: supervised visits a month. He seems to be happy with
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: the status quo and has not been pushing me on this,
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: but he's made plenty of threats in the past about
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: taking me to court, even though we already did that.
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: I've been dating someone since September. We are exclusive. He
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: hasn't met my child yet, but I plan to introduce
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: them soon. My boyfriend asked me about posting a picture
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: of us together on his Facebook, and I said, of course,
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: let's just please don't tag me because I feel like
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: I should give a heads up to my ex first.
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: Not that he has any saying what I do in
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: my personal life, but if he were dating and that
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: person would be around my child, I would want to know.
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: Everyone I've talked to you about this says I shouldn't
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: tell my ex because it could cause him to overreact
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: and start making threats again and cause me stress.
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: I'm weighing both options. What do I do.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: I don't think you tell him. I mean, if that's
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: how people view your ex and they think he's going
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: to cause you stress and make threats, then I don't
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: think you tell him.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: I don't think you tell him at all.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like you're divorced and he gets two
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: supervised visits. He doesn't support her at all or have custody.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: So what I mean, I don't think that he, like
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: I hate to say, deserves to know who you're dating,
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: But I think he kind of lost that privilege.
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: Right if you had your custody, it might be different. Yeah,
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: but since you don't, does he deserve to know? Is
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: the howe you obligated to tell him that there's another
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: guy in your life that might be around your kid.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: And he's gonna find out. Like if he finds out,
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: then it's a conversation of like, hey, like you know
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: we're divorced. That's not I don't feel obligated to tell
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: you that. But yeah, this is who I'm dating. And
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: he hasn't met our daughter yet, but he will eventually.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: I threw away the sheet with the with the paper
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: on it.
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: But does she respect this guy?
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: Sorry with the question does she respect the guy?
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, she doesn't seem to, but she doesn't say really, I.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Think that there might be a sense of not fear,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: but just like worry that he will overreact, will like
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: go crazy. So I think that there's hesitation in that.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: And also they haven't met your child yet, so I think, no,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: like you don't know this. This is not he's not
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: your dad, he's not your husband, he's not your husband.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: He is the father of your child, and that's where
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: that's where it lies.
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: But I think he's going to make this an issue.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: But he's gonna make an issue no matter.
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: What well that could be. But maybe you tell him first.
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: He won't make it as much of an issue. He
• 21:02
  Speaker 5: won't make it seem like you're doing it behind his back,
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: that sort of thing.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: But her friends seem to think that he will make
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: it an issue and cause her stress. So I just
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: don't and I'll go with your gut on that.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Good luck though. That is very hard and stressful and
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry you're having to navigate that.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I am really sorry.
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: This is from Yasmin Dear Banya and Meston. It's cute.
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: I'm at day once grubber from the Netherlands. Oh you
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: watch uh Love Island, Netherlands. I wanted you to know
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: how much you're weekly and now two times a week.
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: Episodes have meant to me. Since the pod started, I've
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: gone from a single girl to meeting the love of
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: my life, to getting married and now the mom to
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: a one year old boy.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: Wow, that's crazy.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: It's a long guy.
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: The Netherlands isn't that big.
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: But since getting married three years ago, I've moved to
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: another city an hour away from my family and close friends.
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: And I know what you're thinking, that's nothing with la traffic,
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: but it's still a decent distance from where I used
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: to live.
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: We understand, we get it.
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: By the way, it just sounds beautiful, doesn't it, wherever
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: she lives in the Netherlands an hour away?
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: But that job is just gorla.
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: I've tried getting closer to my sisters in law, not
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: having any sisters myself, but they're not as social as
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: I am.
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: I'm a Tanya.
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: Every time I suggest going out for dinner, crickets in
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: the group chat. I keep trying, but they're all busy
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: or they don't react to my messages. I think I've
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: tried to set something up like six times this year.
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: My husband says, let it go, stop trying.
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: It's fine.
• 22:24
  Speaker 5: But I really want to have that relationship with them
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: for our kid's sake.
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: What do you think? Should I just let it go? Ps?
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: Can I just say that I'm so.
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: Very happy that you both found your people. You've grown
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: so much and you deserve all the happiness.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, we love you. I think we're gonna have two
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: different opinions on why because I say let it go.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Really, yeah, suld let it go.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: I just don't like putting energy into people who don't
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: even give me anything back. Like, I don't know why
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: you continue to I don't know why I would continue
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: to put energy into people who ignore me, who don't
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: put in the same effort or even like minimal effort
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: to hang out with me. It's like why I get
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: for your kid's sake, and like they're your family. But
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I just don't know that. I think
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: you have so much to give to people just from
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: your email and like you just seem very kind and sweet,
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: and it's I just don't want you to give your
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: energy to people who don't really respect it or deserve it.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, spoiler alert, you agree, I don't disagree.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Oh interesting, I.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: Think she's right too. Whoa cultivating a friend group.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: That's what I think. That just is good for your
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: chosen family and people that live near you and that
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: like are excited to hang out with you and make
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: plans with you, as opposed to like continue letting yourself
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: get rejected because I I just don't want them, them
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: not responding or not making an effort to dim your
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: light and your your desire to have relationships with people. Right, so,
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: I think you're better than them, and you deserve better
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: than them. You're sure again you deserve better than them.
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: A blast comes beck A eight. All right, let's say
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: mel Hi scrubbing and FAMU for such a bright light
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: in my day.
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: I am so happy that you provide two podcasts a week.
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: I can think. I think I speak for all the scrubbers.
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: Keep in coming, y'all the fabulous at your job. I
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: need friend advice. I have four friends that have been
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: my friends since high school. We were all on each
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: other's weddings. We've been chewing each other on through many
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: life events. We each live in a different state, and
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: each woman is in a very different season of life.
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: One has multiple kids, one is a newlywed, One is
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: very career focused, one is struggling within for et cetera.
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: The past few times I've gotten together, I have had
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: the worst time, and I find myself being happy for
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: the weekend to end. We used to say we'd address
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: one another as auntie to our children, but none of
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: them ever want to acknowledge my children and make me
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: feel bad when I have to miss something because of
• 25:14
  Speaker 5: being a mom or a wife. I get super anxious
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: every time I text them, but I still make the
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: effort to check in, but it takes them days to
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: respond and they'll leave me on red. They never like
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: anything I post, even when we're on the same picture
• 25:27
  Speaker 5: for a wedding, but I see they commented like each
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: other's posts all the time. I'm a people pleaser. The
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: thought of confronting them about my feelings is not an option.
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: I find myself wanting to keep the peace and slowly
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: fade away from this friendship. I know this is normal
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: with longtime friends. So my question is, how would you
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: start to remove yourself peacefully? Any tips on how I
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: could be a better friend. Maybe that's a different option.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: I don't think that you need to put this on yourself.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: I think you're wondering if you can be a better
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: friend I don't know the ins and outs of everything,
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: but I think I think it's just natural, especially when
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: people are not in the same place physically, yeah, where
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: they can because especially I think when you start going
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: you're in that journey, in that season of life of
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: having kids, it's very limited time that you have for
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: yourself to put into your friendships. And if you're taking
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: that time to spend it with people where you dread
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: it and you're looking forward to it ending, I don't
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: think those are your people anymore. And I think that's okay.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I think that there's so much like emphasis on like
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: the you know, the people that you grew up with
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: and stay with the people that you grew up with.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: But I think that you grow when you change, and
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: it's okay. And like Becka said, I went to college
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: and I had a group of best friends, none of
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: them live in La now or anywhere near me, and
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: they all had got married and had kids right after college,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: and I was like doing all my career stuff and
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: we just kind of, I don't say grew apart, but
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: just it just kind of naturally happened. There's no hard
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: feelings on any other side. It just kind of happens
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: and you gravitate to people that are in the same
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: season of life as you are, you know, and it
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: just again there's no hard feelings. You don't have to
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: like peacefully remove yourself. It can just happen. You don't
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: have to like there's no intention behind it. Just start
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: spending more time with other people and like not committing
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: to these things and eventually mm hmm, it just makes
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: its way.
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: And also life is long. You may go back, yeah, yeah,
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: back with these again. But right now it sounds like
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: this is kind of toxic and not for.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: You, and that's okay, yeah, totally okay.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: There's there's people. There's so many people in the world,
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: and there's so many people that you can give your
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: time and uh like your time and your outside of
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: being a mom and a wife, you have yourself and
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: it's like, where are you spending that time that is
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: like precious to you at this time and it's not
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: You don't want it to be with people that don't
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: make you feel.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: When you're wishing the end of the weekend to come brutal. No, no, no,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: I am not giving them any time.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: And I do. There is like a different I think
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: it's hard when you're the first one to have kids,
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: because if everyone's not in that season of life yet,
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: it does feel you probably feel lonely too, because you're
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: going through something that they're not going through or can
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: relate to. Right, And I'm feel like I'm about to
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: enter that because I feel like all of you Ali Jojo,
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: I feel like all my really good friends are about
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: to be like pregnant at the same time. And I'm
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: just gonna be like, I have no idea what you'll
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: are talking about, but I can't wait to be an aunt.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: But you know, I am like, oh, oh, I gotta what. Well,
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: it is like I'm gonna have to if I.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: Want to go to your friends.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, not magnant Well, I mean making new
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: friends is a bad thing, but I'm saying, like, find people. Well,
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: when you find people who run the same season of
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: life as you, and like it's like, oh, we want
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: to go get drinks, I can't be like, let's go
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: get drinks, but bring my baby. I'm saying, when you're pregnant,
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: that does.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: I'll get a mocktail. Yeah, it's just be in the mix.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: I know, I know do that to me. I know
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: it's y'all all feel the same way. I just won't
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: tell you. I'll just I'll just do that with other people.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: It is different, though, and it's I think it's okay
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: to acknowledge it from both sides. Like I think it's
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: so exciting and like, I literally am so excited that
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get to be like an aunt to
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: all of my friend's babies and like go and relieve
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: you or Ali when when y'all need a break or
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: like just want to talk about something that's not baby related.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: And I cannot wait for that season of life. I'm
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: so excited and I'm so excited that I'm going to
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: get to hold the baby and smell the baby and
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: then go home to my quiet home.
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: But I like look forward to that because I'm at
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: the age now where I'm not like outraging every night.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: I'm like excited to be a part of that with
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: y'all without doing it myself.
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: I can't wait to see who you replaced Tanya with,
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: and that's gonna be.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: That is so dark replaceable fantasy. She can't be Yeah,
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: maybe a fantasy. No, there's no.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: There's no replacing Ty.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: What their sign office, It's as good as to be continued. No,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: you will never be replaced.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: You think that's gonna happen.
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: That's the show. It's not the Bachelor.
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: It's the Bestie and you're you're trying to find a
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: new best friend. I'd watch that show.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not finding a new best friend. I'm not.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: Don't worry, all right, I'm not Mark is Mark is
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: getting you riled up for no reason. Don't let him
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: do that to you. Don't let him stir.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, we like, I'm not going to be fun for
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: a minute, so sober fun. I'm so fun sober. Look
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: at me right now, I'm so fun.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're so fun sober. Nothing about you not being
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: fun sober. It's about the act of like having like
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: good fun, getting all cute and sexy and going out
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: having a drink in the barn, just sitting there with heartburn.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: And it's like it's like eight, and she's like, I
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: don't know if I can.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: Stay awake much like I'm already Yeah, why Brami, that's
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: for sure.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not gonna see y'all past seven thirty in
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: the next few years.
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: Fortunes on Mama's.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Got I do feel like I'm gonna have people over
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: more often, Like I'm gonna host a lot.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's gonna just be like a screw like
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: we're gonna be like, okay, like we're going over. Let's
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: go relieve her. She needs us. But y'all are all
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: gonna be doing at the same time. I'm gonna be
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: like juggling new moms. True, Hey, can you come over? Sorry,
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I'm I booked with Ali. But what about tomorrow? Do
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: you have an opening for me? Anymorrow? Was a Puerto Ricoh, okay,
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: we have one more question, but we'll do that when
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: we come back. All right, we're back, and this is
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: our final question.
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: It's an interesting question because she is a new scrubber
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: and she has some just very basic questions she has
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: and maybe this is good. We should do this every
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: so often for new listeners to the podcast, because I
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: can't believe a lot of people start from the beginning
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: in Binge. That seems like a tall order because what
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: has it been seven years? Yeah, yeah, that's a lot.
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: That's a lot of episodes, hundreds and hundreds if you
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: are new, like Lilah is. Lilah says, I've been a
• 32:53
  Speaker 5: listener since April. I love your team dynamic. A few
• 32:56
  Speaker 5: questions for you so I can get caught up tyyan Becca.
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: How did y'all meet and become friends? And we've been
• 33:01
  Speaker 5: down this road many times. Maybe just did a sentence
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: or two.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we met at a iHeart School Farmer party in
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: Vegas and I went with Robert and his friend Zach
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: and Tanya loved love Robert and Zach and love. This
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: is how you tell her? How you told it. She
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: was so excited to see them, because she when she
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: sees people that she knows and love, she just gets
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: like really excited, Kaylor just a couple of yes, A true.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: I left gen Tram feeling very.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was jen and I felt very forgotten him awkward,
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: And I would say she wasn't warm to me, but
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: I say that in a way that she just wasn't
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: excited to see me because I was with people that
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: she was really excited to see.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: But we didn't really become besties until we shared a wall.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: So Beca moved into my apartment complex complex.
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: That was a coincidence or you got her.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: In there, but it was the apartment. Literally we shared
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: a wall, and that's when I feel like the friendship
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: really blossomed. That's when I it really took on a
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: life of its own. Yes, it was like real life friends.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, that's when we like really became close and
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: like we literally lived our lives together because we lived
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: next door.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: We come home from work and go I wouldn't even
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: put my bags down in my apartment. I go to hers,
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: and I'd just sit there on your like big ball,
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: your big workouts, like furniture, furniture.
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: She also wants to know where then was scrubbing incomes from,
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: which is a fair question because it's really we were
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: so far away from that original meeting.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: The name came from when I started the I originally
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: started the podcast. Tanya wasn't my co host yet, and
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: so when I started the podcast, it was supposed to
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: be almost like a TV show review type podcast, and
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: I was so obsessed with Gray's Anatomy at the time,
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: and I thought it would be a fun play on
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: my favorite show to call it scrubbing In. And then
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: Tania joined I think four episodes into.
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: It, something like that, four.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: Or five, and I remember we did that podcast and
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, this is like the dynamic that
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: I like envisioned this podcast being and the name just stuck.
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: The rest is history.
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: Every show is better when Tanya rad has added to it.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: And thank you sure, thank you, thank you.
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: Uh for Tanya. She says that Netflix, that I see
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: you wrote a book. Can you give a high level
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: overview of what it's about, how it came to.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: Be high level? Let me give you a high level here,
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: So thank you so much.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: The book is called The Sunshine Mind and it is
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: a one hundred days to finding the hope, enjoy you want.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: It's a devotional and basically it's bite sized, so there's
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: like every day there's a scripture, an analysis, and then
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: how it applied. I wrote it with one of my
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: best friends, Rackkeel Stevens, and she's one of the people
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: in my life where she's like a rock, like that
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: girl if.
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: I'm going through anything in life.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: It was a lot more early in my career when
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: I was dealing with like people that were not nice
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: to me in my career, I would always go to
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: Raquel and like just like unload and she would always
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: have like a scripture. She would always have some way
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: to like find the hope and the joy in situations
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: and so she was always my go to when I
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: was going through relationships stuff for dating struggles, Like she
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: always had that element, and so I was like, she's
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: the perfect person to do this with because she's so
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: knowledgeable and I feel like she's that person. I wanted
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: that book to be that person for the people that
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: read it. So it's basically encouragement in your life. It's
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: focused on family dynamics, friendships, career and and yeah is
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: that a high level.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: Very thank you by the.
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: Way, you didn't I remember, and I mean to bring
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: upset memories, but you didn't make the best selling list.
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: I know you wanted to have. You kept track of
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: sales since then? Is it still moving or people still
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: buying it?
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: It's still moving.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: It did well, like the publishers were happy for first
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: time authors, like it did really well. But it's it's
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: crazy how much books like just don't sell these days,
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: Like it's hard to sell a book.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if it's the best book, right, So yeah, I
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: was disappointed.
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: Stocking stuffer.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: It is a great stocking stuffer, Thank you so much.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: And it really wasn't even about like it's not a
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: big money maker. It was like something that we really
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: felt passionate about and it took a lot of time
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: and energy, so we hope it brings you some hope
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: and some joy.
• 37:24
  Speaker 5: And then a question for Becca. You've mentioned your family
• 37:26
  Speaker 5: dynamic on the show. I know you have sisters and
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: with kids and with partners, some with clothes. So when
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: you travel to how many siblings.
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: Do you have?
• 37:32
  Speaker 5: Where do you fall in the birth order, And would
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: love to hear more about your family dynamic whatever you
• 37:36
  Speaker 5: feel comfortable sharing.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, I am one of five kids, so I have
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: three sisters and a brother, and I am second in
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: the lineup, so it's two girls, a boy, and then
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: two girls. My two younger sisters both have girlfriends and
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: the three of us are part of the queer community.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: And then my brother is married with two kids. My
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: older sister is Mary Read with five kids. She has
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: four boys and a little girl.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: The fact that your brother is married with two kids
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: is so wild because if you will not remember, early
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: in the days of the said podcast, we tried setting
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: me up with Becca's brother.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: We also would like call him to get like yeah
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: and then yeah, that's it. I don't, I don't really
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: I talk about my family. I share like photos and
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: stuff but I don't really talk about it because I
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: a lot of times I don't feel like my family
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: chose to be a part of this crazy world, like
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: when I went on The Bachelor and stuff, like, they
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: didn't sign up to be like in anything public. So
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: I've always kind of respected that, like tried to find
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: that fine line. My sisters when they moved to La
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: lived with me, my younger sisters for a period of time,
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: and so we have a very close dynamic. And actually
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: the reason why Tanya came on the podcast was because
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: I had my two younger sisters on and I thought
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: that they would be like really funny and charming and
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: like a great guess and they've totally frozen for the microphone.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: But I found out it was because I was asking them,
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: like what kind of guys they liked, and they're both gay,
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: and they were like, we don't even know how to
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: answer these questions. And so then I brought Tanya on
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: because I needed to fill in that episode or redo
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: that episode basically, So that was the beginning of yeah, yeah,
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: and so yeah, that's about that's about it about me.
• 39:29
  Speaker 5: And then she says hi, Mark and Easton, and then
• 39:31
  Speaker 5: there's the end of it.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: It to be continued. It is interesting because it's like
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: you're right, like, you know the same with me. I mean,
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: I guess I talk about my family and stuff, but
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: like they didn't sign up. They didn't sign up for
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: any of their personal stuff to be out there. So
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: it's like a fine line of like.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I always felt like when I went on
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: The Bachelor, I made it to hometowns and I felt
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: like the edit of my family made them look very
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: it just looked very like cold. I don't know, it
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: did not represent my family in the way that I
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: know my family, and I always felt a lot of
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: guilt about that because it opened them up to so
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: many opinions, and so I've always been like, I'm not
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: going to bring them into that into my world without
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: them wanting to be part of it. So I've just
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: always been cautious of that.
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So I have a question for Lila.
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: This will be one sided, unfortunately, but I'm curious how
• 40:22
  Speaker 5: you found scrubbing in and started listening if you don't
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: know what scrubbing it means and what drew you to
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: it in the first place.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: Raise Our guest in April was Shannon Beverage, our guest,
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: because it's t to.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: Say that feels like a mark question.
• 40:35
  Speaker 5: I can look it up and tell you exactly what
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: was going on in April, but that was you know,
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: eight to ten episodes.
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: So we'll see.
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: I think we could narrow it down.
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: We're going to try to figure out what drew Lila
• 40:45
  Speaker 5: to this podcast in April.
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: Is that what you're saying?
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, I'm just like, was there a guess that
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: she was like a fan of and then she listened
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: to that episode and was like, oh I like this.
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: Well let's give our theories. Here we go. April fourth,
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: Kathy Schwartz and Susan Knowles.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, Golden Bachelor interview.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna say it probably wasn't that one.
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: April eleventh, Alexia Yumanski.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: That one went viral on TikTok okay.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: So that's a contender. There's a contender.
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: April eighteenth, Ali Grant.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, she could be an aligrant van.
• 41:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, let's see April twenty. April twenty fifth, Rachel Rogers
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: talking money, Oh, business and financial expert.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Liola, We're curious.
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: Shannon Bevery was made first, so not quite. April is
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: very close close.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: But if she found us in April. There's no way
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: of Shannon that pulled her in.
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: No, so it could have been late March. It could
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: have been someone like, say Jason Tarctic on March twenty,
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: report on March twenty. Okay, okay, Chelsea Blackwell on March eighteenth.
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: And here's a contender March fourteenth, with poverty shallow. She's
• 41:57
  Speaker 5: a survivor fan. That might have brought her.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: Into the fur traders.
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, give to us, Please get back to us. I
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: need to know the answer to this.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: All right, Well, we love you so much. Have a
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: great weekend, and.
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: He continued, because we're doing it again on Monday.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: To be continue to be continued TBC.