Latest / Privycast / Ep. 84 Own Your Stank w/ Chris Luckman (Privychat 15)

Transcript

Ep. 84 Own Your Stank w/ Chris Luckman (Privychat 15) · Privycast

• 0:00
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, go ahead and talk into it. See where we're at here.
• 0:02
  >> Speaker B: Check, check, mike check, mike check,
• 0:05
  checkety check. Wiggity whack. Don't
• 0:08
  do crack.
• 0:09
  >> Speaker A: That's right. Unless it's butt
• 0:11
  crack.
• 0:12
  >> Speaker B: Butt crack. Oh, uh. Man,
• 0:15
  I've seen so much butt crack in my life
• 0:18
  just from my son alone.
• 0:26
  >> Speaker A: Welcome back to privy.
• 0:29
  Privy is a podcast about
• 0:31
  bathrooms
• 0:34
  recorded this week.
• 0:36
  I'm off location. I'm actually recording
• 0:39
  from the men's restroom at the church I attend.
• 0:43
  Thanks, Pastor Ben. Um, and I'm
• 0:46
  joined by none other than, uh,
• 0:49
  Chris Luckman. Chris, how are you?
• 0:52
  >> Speaker B: So good. How are you, sir? Glad to be
• 0:55
  here in the
• 0:57
  bathroom. Thank goodness it's not Sunday, because
• 1:00
  it gets stanky. Yeah, there's a lot of
• 1:03
  stank and not a lot of movement, uh,
• 1:06
  of that stank going up in the roof, like
• 1:08
  supposedly it's supposed to.
• 1:10
  >> Speaker A: You wouldn't believe it, but. So,
• 1:13
  for the trained ear, I'm going to give you a second here of
• 1:16
  this.
• 1:19
  So that's the sound of the jet engine
• 1:22
  fan. That is the bathroom fan at our
• 1:25
  church and works great. It couldn't get louder.
• 1:28
  And I know that it's not awful to hear, but
• 1:31
  it's awful to be in it. Um, yes.
• 1:34
  There's not a lot of stank in here today. Not yet.
• 1:38
  >> Speaker B: We'll get there, don't worry. Hot.
• 1:41
  >> Speaker A: Um, well, Chris, uh,
• 1:44
  I'm going to just give kind of like, well,
• 1:47
  who in the heck are you?
• 1:49
  >> Speaker B: First of all, I'm Chris Luckman. That's who I
• 1:51
  am. And I'm
• 1:54
  43. There you go, 40.
• 1:56
  >> Speaker A: Do your math.
• 1:57
  >> Speaker B: Three years young. Uh, let's see.
• 2:00
  >> Speaker A: I've grown.
• 2:01
  >> Speaker B: Been born and raised here in Oregon. Lived in Albany pretty much my
• 2:03
  entire life. Dang. Yeah,
• 2:06
  I know, right?
• 2:07
  >> Speaker A: How's that?
• 2:08
  >> Speaker B: It's all right. It's not too bad. I mean, we moved to,
• 2:11
  uh, Lebanon, what, I guess five years ago now, since 2000.
• 2:14
  Really? Is that pretty close to that?
• 2:16
  >> Speaker A: I thought you've lived there for, like, 1520 years.
• 2:18
  >> Speaker B: No, not in Lebanon. We just moved there. That's where
• 2:21
  we bought our house.
• 2:22
  >> Speaker A: Right. Okay.
• 2:24
  >> Speaker B: But I grew up. Born and raised here in Albany. Actually, just down the road
• 2:26
  from east side here. And, uh.
• 2:29
  Yeah. Huh. Born and raised.
• 2:32
  Wow. On the playgrounds where I spent most of my days.
• 2:37
  >> Speaker A: What is, like, the biggest change that Albany has
• 2:39
  undergone since, in your lifetime, in your
• 2:42
  opinion?
• 2:43
  >> Speaker B: Oh, man. Uh, well, first of all, just the amount of
• 2:46
  people, and I, uh, think that
• 2:48
  it's gone from a lot of
• 2:51
  conservatives were here, and there's still a lot of conservative people
• 2:54
  here. Um, but it's kind of changed
• 2:57
  to be a lot more liberal, I feel. And
• 3:00
  just the amount of shops
• 3:03
  and places to go and do things. When I was a kid, the cool thing
• 3:06
  was, uh, what was it called?
• 3:09
  Trying, ah, to remember. Imagination station. Or
• 3:12
  I can't remember what it was called. And it's actually where the sportsman
• 3:15
  warehouse was. And so it was like, just like an indoor place that you
• 3:17
  could go hang out and play weird. Yeah, it was a lot of
• 3:20
  fun. Huh.
• 3:22
  >> Speaker A: How long has that been gone?
• 3:24
  >> Speaker B: I, um, think it came up in like,
• 3:26
  1992 and was gone in
• 3:29
  1995. Something like that. Really not very long.
• 3:31
  >> Speaker A: Wow. Ah, the
• 3:34
  imagination station.
• 3:36
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. I don't even know if it was imagination station. I can't remember
• 3:39
  what it's called right now because I'm too old. 43. Dang
• 3:41
  it.
• 3:42
  >> Speaker A: It's not even that old.
• 3:43
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, well, old enough for me to forget some stuff that I
• 3:46
  probably shouldn't be forgetting. Don't get
• 3:49
  old, kids.
• 3:51
  >> Speaker A: And, um, you have a brother?
• 3:53
  >> Speaker B: I do. I do have a brother, yes. He's 40.
• 3:56
  Good dude. He's a custodian. I'm sure he has lots of really
• 3:59
  good stories.
• 4:00
  >> Speaker A: They all do.
• 4:01
  >> Speaker B: They all do. I'm sure I did some custodial work, too, so I
• 4:04
  have really stories of my own.
• 4:06
  >> Speaker A: When were you a custodian?
• 4:07
  >> Speaker B: Uh, so I would do custodial stuff,
• 4:10
  uh, from like, when I was working at south.
• 4:12
  Oh, really? Oh, that's right. Yeah. I did like an hour or
• 4:15
  two then. And then I would also do a lot of stuff during the
• 4:18
  summer, which was more maintenance related,
• 4:21
  less.
• 4:21
  >> Speaker A: Yeah.
• 4:22
  >> Speaker B: Cleaning bathrooms and things.
• 4:24
  >> Speaker A: I showed you this picture, but the kids at the high
• 4:26
  school, they made
• 4:29
  a toilet paper dookie log mountain and
• 4:32
  overflowed the toilet today. And
• 4:35
  bad.
• 4:36
  >> Speaker B: Some of the, uh, things that I've seen
• 4:39
  via either picture and or
• 4:41
  personal, um, have seen while I've gone to the
• 4:44
  bathroom. Specifically. This one was on the other side of town,
• 4:47
  uh, west Albany.
• 4:50
  I kid you, uh, mean, I have a
• 4:52
  venti sized cup with me from
• 4:55
  Starbucks. Uh, no commission
• 4:58
  from them.
• 4:59
  >> Speaker A: That's size large for those Americans.
• 5:01
  >> Speaker B: That's very big. Okay. I mean, you look at that
• 5:03
  diameter, it's pretty thick. I'd say that's
• 5:06
  probably two and a half inches, three inches wide, do you think?
• 5:09
  >> Speaker A: I mean, size doesn't matter. But you're not wrong.
• 5:11
  >> Speaker B: Not wrong. Okay. Literally, I've seen a
• 5:14
  turd that wide and probably
• 5:17
  about. I, uh, mean, this is maybe about half
• 5:19
  that size. About that size. And I'm like, uh,
• 5:22
  literally the size of a softball. How does
• 5:25
  a kid get a turd that big out of
• 5:28
  their body? Too much cheese, too many crackers. I
• 5:31
  don't know. I'm kind of jealous.
• 5:34
  >> Speaker A: I have a story that's never been told, and today is not the
• 5:37
  day I'm saving it.
• 5:39
  >> Speaker B: You've heard this. Okay, maybe I've heard it, all right? But.
• 5:44
  >> Speaker A: It'S one of those. The potato
• 5:46
  turd is just a thing of beauty.
• 5:49
  >> Speaker B: Yeah,
• 5:51
  potato turd. I love the term. That's a good one.
• 5:54
  >> Speaker A: Was it clogging the toilet?
• 5:55
  >> Speaker B: Like, literally, it would not flush. It was hard and dense.
• 5:58
  There's nothing. It was just in there. You needed a poo
• 6:01
  knife is what you really need.
• 6:03
  >> Speaker A: Cut that thing up
• 6:06
  tillamuk. Or, like, every cheese company should
• 6:09
  just sell the poo knife to go with
• 6:12
  their.
• 6:12
  >> Speaker B: They got to make it silicone. Put a little metal inside.
• 6:15
  Should be perfect just to help with that.
• 6:16
  >> Speaker A: And then they'll start breaking down. They'll start charging a plastic
• 6:19
  tax on that, too.
• 6:20
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, right.
• 6:21
  >> Speaker A: Nonsense.
• 6:22
  >> Speaker B: They could make it non biodegradable.
• 6:24
  Right?
• 6:25
  >> Speaker A: That's right. For the turtles.
• 6:26
  >> Speaker B: For the turtles.
• 6:27
  >> Speaker A: Uh, they're over here like, oh, we heard
• 6:30
  old. They're like, oh, we got a
• 6:33
  slave of the turtles. I'm like, uh, I've lived in Oregon for
• 6:36
  pushing ten years now. I ain't seen
• 6:39
  a turtle yet.
• 6:40
  >> Speaker B: Me either.
• 6:41
  >> Speaker A: I don't know which ones we're worried about. I've seen a lot of them in
• 6:44
  Florida where they don't care about the
• 6:46
  straws. I don't know.
• 6:47
  >> Speaker B: I don't know.
• 6:48
  >> Speaker A: Maybe the turtles in Florida should have got the memo that it's better
• 6:51
  here.
• 6:52
  >> Speaker B: Right.
• 6:52
  >> Speaker A: They should have, uh, moved to Oregon.
• 6:54
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 6:55
  >> Speaker A: Said no one. Right.
• 6:57
  >> Speaker B: Uh, that's right. Especially someone who's been here for a long
• 7:00
  time.
• 7:00
  >> Speaker A: Welcome to the hellscape, uh, serious
• 7:03
  shout out to Aaron badly, who's in Spokane.
• 7:06
  >> Speaker B: And just, hi, Aaron badly.
• 7:07
  >> Speaker A: Hi, Aaron. Aaron shared that.
• 7:10
  >> Speaker B: It was just cool name, by the way.
• 7:11
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 7:13
  >> Speaker B: Badly. What a bad name. Sorry. I don't know. Can
• 7:15
  I say that? Yeah.
• 7:16
  >> Speaker A: It's know with the power of editing.
• 7:19
  >> Speaker B: Fair enough. You can bleep me.
• 7:22
  >> Speaker A: It's even better, like, when you just bleep words that
• 7:25
  aren't bleepable, it's just, like, just randomly put the bleep in.
• 7:28
  >> Speaker B: Put the bleep in. Yeah.
• 7:30
  >> Speaker A: So you shared that
• 7:32
  you have some
• 7:35
  stories about the bathroom.
• 7:37
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yes.
• 7:39
  >> Speaker A: Feel, uh, free. However, whichever one
• 7:42
  you want to share or both or all.
• 7:44
  >> Speaker B: I have a couple. I got a couple in mind. I have three
• 7:46
  specific ones that I'm really thinking of. I'll share three different.
• 7:49
  >> Speaker A: Uh, perfect.
• 7:50
  >> Speaker B: Two of which happened to me and one which did not happen to
• 7:53
  me, but I was witnessed two.
• 7:55
  >> Speaker A: Oh, jeez.
• 7:55
  >> Speaker B: Okay. And it does involve a family
• 7:58
  member. Um, so, first of
• 8:00
  all, uh, camping at Detroit
• 8:03
  lake. I was probably 16 at
• 8:06
  the time with my family, uh, my brother
• 8:09
  and my friend matthew.
• 8:12
  Um, shout out to Matthew. What's up,
• 8:14
  matthew? Uh, we all decided that, uh, we
• 8:17
  wanted to go swim out to wizard island, and we
• 8:20
  had a raft with us.
• 8:21
  >> Speaker A: What is wizard?
• 8:22
  >> Speaker B: Sorry. Detroit lake has wizard
• 8:25
  island, and it's just basically this island in the middle
• 8:28
  of lake.
• 8:29
  >> Speaker A: Right.
• 8:29
  >> Speaker B: Okay. Okay. So we're camping on one side, and we can
• 8:32
  actually, it's not too far. It's maybe half a
• 8:35
  mile, maybe a little bit more, know, swim
• 8:37
  across or use our raft to go across.
• 8:40
  And so we decided, hey, we're going to go do this,
• 8:43
  right? So we did it. We grabbed rubber
• 8:46
  raft, we threw it in the water, and, um,
• 8:50
  the bottom of the raft actually had broken.
• 8:53
  But we decided, well, we got kind of this plastic. We can
• 8:55
  probably still make it over. So we started paddling.
• 8:58
  Um, and as we're paddling, wind picks
• 9:01
  up. So we're like, okay, what are we going to do? So we decide we're
• 9:04
  going to jump out of the raft, but we can't just leave the raft
• 9:07
  in the middle of the water, right? Because we're about halfway there now,
• 9:10
  right? So we're swimming, going all the
• 9:12
  way, getting there, swimming hard, using
• 9:15
  lots of. Okay. Burning all our
• 9:18
  energy, we finally make it to wizard, uh,
• 9:21
  island. This is about maybe an hour and a half into our
• 9:24
  journey.
• 9:24
  >> Speaker A: Whoa.
• 9:25
  >> Speaker B: An hour and a half, right. So that's a long time for us to be
• 9:27
  paddling and trying to swim. That's how bad the wind had picked.
• 9:30
  Okay. We get there, and I feel
• 9:33
  a grumbling.
• 9:35
  >> Speaker A: Oh, he's got a grumble.
• 9:36
  >> Speaker B: I have a not. It's. It's
• 9:39
  bad, right? You're like, I need to go. But we're
• 9:42
  at Wizard island. We're pretty exhausted because it's an hour and a half
• 9:45
  into this journey.
• 9:47
  >> Speaker A: And I'm assuming there's no bathrooms on island.
• 9:49
  >> Speaker B: None. No, none in there. And so I just let
• 9:52
  my brother and Matthew know. Hey, uh, I
• 9:55
  got a poop. Where can I go? Should I get out? Should
• 9:58
  I just go find a know? I was like, I didn't want
• 10:01
  to find some pine needles and
• 10:04
  get some pine needles stuck in my bunghole. Oh, yeah, because
• 10:07
  that'd be not fun. Yeah, right.
• 10:09
  >> Speaker A: You don't want pine needles in the boring holio.
• 10:11
  >> Speaker B: No. So I decided that I'll just
• 10:14
  wait out a little bit and drop, uh,
• 10:16
  trowel and go. Yeah, so that's what I did.
• 10:19
  I, uh, dropped trowel. I let loose
• 10:22
  two hot, uh, snakes, if you will.
• 10:24
  >> Speaker A: Hot snakes.
• 10:25
  >> Speaker B: Hot snakes. Okay. One of them sank completely
• 10:28
  down, but, uh, the other one needs more fiber.
• 10:31
  Decided that it wanted to float.
• 10:34
  >> Speaker A: Fiber, buddy.
• 10:36
  >> Speaker B: Instead of floating away from me or like
• 10:39
  projectile flying away from me.
• 10:42
  That didn't happen. No, it decided that it was
• 10:45
  going to hang out close to me. And so I, uh,
• 10:48
  had to grab a stick. I had to ask Matthew, hey,
• 10:51
  throw me a stick. I'm, like, frantic at this point because I didn't want this
• 10:54
  turd to touch me because I knew where it came
• 10:56
  from. My backside. Obviously,
• 10:59
  nobody wants to hang out there. Um, and
• 11:02
  so, uh, Matthew and Aaron both throw sticks at me. One hits
• 11:05
  me in the head, right? And so then, like, take
• 11:08
  this stick and, like, start beating the water. Beating the
• 11:11
  water. Trying to chunk this turd up.
• 11:13
  >> Speaker A: He's trying to break it out that.
• 11:14
  >> Speaker B: It will go away. And, uh,
• 11:17
  eventually, little particles started floating towards
• 11:20
  me. And it did eventually sink afterwards down
• 11:23
  with a stick, probably. But when you're 16, you
• 11:26
  don't think of those things. You're just like, there is a giant turd
• 11:29
  coming my way. I need to break this thing up.
• 11:31
  >> Speaker A: The sentence, when you're 16, you don't think about
• 11:34
  it. Could not be more true at every
• 11:37
  moment of any person's life.
• 11:38
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, it's true. Um.
• 11:40
  >> Speaker A: Wow. So what did your brother and
• 11:43
  Matthew think? Ah, they watch you chop this turd up.
• 11:46
  >> Speaker B: They're just laughing their heads off at me because first of all, they know I had
• 11:48
  poop. And second, uh, of all, they're just, like, laughing,
• 11:51
  trying to find something to throw at it. They're, like, throwing rocks at it,
• 11:54
  too, and laughing this whole time.
• 11:57
  >> Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. They're like, playing battleship with the turd and some
• 12:00
  rocks. Like, yoink.
• 12:01
  >> Speaker B: Literally, that's.
• 12:02
  >> Speaker A: What the heck. So did you ever make
• 12:05
  it to Wizard island?
• 12:06
  >> Speaker B: We did. That was actually at wizard.
• 12:08
  >> Speaker A: Oh, on the way back.
• 12:09
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, that was there. And then we decided after, uh, those
• 12:11
  shenanigans, we were like, let's go back.
• 12:14
  >> Speaker A: Right?
• 12:14
  >> Speaker B: Because we didn't really want to explore at that point.
• 12:16
  >> Speaker A: Man, you guys could have got stuck on the island if the wind had been
• 12:19
  bad enough.
• 12:20
  >> Speaker B: Well, we could have. And actually, we decided pretty
• 12:23
  much after that incident that we were going to go back to
• 12:25
  camp and so started heading that way. And,
• 12:28
  um, thankfully a boater came and picked us up,
• 12:31
  saw us dragging the boat, saw us swimming the whole
• 12:34
  time, and then apparently come out. Come find out later. My
• 12:37
  parents, um, had asked one of the neighbor
• 12:40
  who had a boat to.
• 12:41
  >> Speaker A: Come pick, can you go rescue our children?
• 12:44
  >> Speaker B: They saw that we were struggling really hard. I mean, we had life
• 12:47
  jackets and stuff, so we weren't dumb and we weren't going to drown or anything.
• 12:50
  Drowned. Um. Drown, drown. We'll
• 12:53
  go with that.
• 12:55
  >> Speaker A: Spelling and grammar probably doesn't really matter that much anyway.
• 12:58
  >> Speaker B: Good point. Well, when you're a fourth grade teacher, you start
• 13:00
  to think about these stupid things now. Yeah, I'm more,
• 13:03
  um, up on my adverbs and
• 13:06
  nouns.
• 13:07
  >> Speaker A: Probably more than I am, than I.
• 13:08
  >> Speaker B: Ever have been in my entire life.
• 13:11
  >> Speaker A: I guarantee you the kids in your fourth grade class are
• 13:13
  probably more keen on those things than some of the students that I work
• 13:16
  with on a weekly basis.
• 13:18
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, they probably are. Uh, maybe some of them.
• 13:23
  >> Speaker A: We'll get back to the others. But
• 13:26
  how is teaching fourth grade?
• 13:29
  >> Speaker B: Oh, man, it's awesome. Yeah, I love it. I love teaching
• 13:32
  fourth graders. They're some of the funniest kids ever.
• 13:35
  They're hilarious.
• 13:36
  >> Speaker A: They're still innocent, but not quite middle schoolers.
• 13:38
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, man, it's true. It's very true. And they still kind
• 13:41
  of listen. Yeah, I give them
• 13:44
  a direction and they'll actually listen.
• 13:46
  >> Speaker A: That's awesome. That's nice.
• 13:47
  >> Speaker B: Unlike the high schoolers that I had to deal with,
• 13:50
  which will just give you explicit. Uh,
• 13:53
  they give you what you want to do.
• 13:56
  >> Speaker A: Um, I told Werman,
• 13:58
  uh, one of my crew
• 14:00
  there, he got a four pack of West
• 14:02
  Virginia's. Um, do you know what West Virginia
• 14:05
  is?
• 14:06
  >> Speaker B: I assume it's a.
• 14:08
  >> Speaker A: No, no. A west Virginia is where you get the bird, but
• 14:11
  they stick the thumb out while they do it.
• 14:13
  >> Speaker B: Why is that called the west?
• 14:14
  >> Speaker A: I don't know why it's called the West Virginia.
• 14:16
  >> Speaker B: Is that from, like, your old school Montana place?
• 14:18
  >> Speaker A: I don't remember where I heard this. I think I heard this on another
• 14:22
  show at some point and have just left it into my
• 14:24
  living.
• 14:25
  >> Speaker B: All right, but he got
• 14:28
  four in.
• 14:29
  >> Speaker A: A row from a kid within two minutes.
• 14:31
  >> Speaker B: Just bam, bam.
• 14:32
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, we're just bam, bam, bam. And I told him, I was like, when you write up
• 14:35
  the note, just put in four pack of West Virginia's. I'll know what
• 14:38
  it's.
• 14:41
  Four pack of West Virginia. Um,
• 14:45
  if you ever get a four pack of West Virginia's.
• 14:47
  >> Speaker B: Now you know, let me know.
• 14:48
  >> Speaker A: I want to know about it.
• 14:49
  >> Speaker B: Uh, the more you know. Ding.
• 14:51
  >> Speaker A: So you're Wizard Island?
• 14:53
  >> Speaker B: Wizard island.
• 14:54
  >> Speaker A: You made it back safe.
• 14:55
  >> Speaker B: Made it back safe.
• 14:56
  >> Speaker A: After having chopped up your turd?
• 14:58
  >> Speaker B: After chopping up the turd. Yep. Everybody was
• 15:00
  good. No one got sick, thankfully. So there you go.
• 15:03
  >> Speaker A: Did your parents ever find out about the turd?
• 15:05
  >> Speaker B: Oh, no, we kept that a secret.
• 15:08
  >> Speaker A: Did your parents find out about the turd,
• 15:11
  and they didn't want to say anything to you?
• 15:13
  >> Speaker B: That may be true. We've never really had that conversation.
• 15:16
  So. Christmas is coming. Maybe we'll talk about it then.
• 15:19
  Go. Good dinner conversation.
• 15:21
  So you remember when I was 16.
• 15:24
  >> Speaker A: I got stuck out by wizard island?
• 15:27
  >> Speaker B: Had to crap. Had to chop up a poop.
• 15:30
  >> Speaker A: I was hacking at my deuce.
• 15:32
  Um, wow.
• 15:35
  >> Speaker B: And hygiene, especially when you're 16, is really important.
• 15:38
  >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Everybody's. They're keen on it. Um,
• 15:43
  from what I can tell, hygiene for I would
• 15:46
  say not all, but a significant amount of 16 year
• 15:49
  old boys is essentially
• 15:52
  add a new sweatshirt
• 15:54
  and add some amount of deodorant,
• 15:57
  whether stick or spray. Somewhere.
• 15:59
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, anywhere. Um, well, and we didn't have a spray back then,
• 16:02
  right?
• 16:03
  >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
• 16:04
  >> Speaker B: Uh, did we know? No. It was either, like, the roll on
• 16:06
  stuff. Sure. Where you just had the roll
• 16:09
  on. Sticky stuff, sure, or. Yeah, sure.
• 16:12
  Raise your hand if you're sure that tells you how old I am, right?
• 16:15
  >> Speaker A: I have no idea what you're talking about.
• 16:16
  >> Speaker B: Right. Yeah. That's because you're. I'm sorry. No. Millennial.
• 16:19
  >> Speaker A: No, I totally got the reference, actually.
• 16:22
  Uh, yeah, I'm sure you did.
• 16:25
  Sure, man.
• 16:27
  >> Speaker B: And I'm sure more than half of your audience will not even
• 16:30
  know that. Look it up.
• 16:31
  >> Speaker A: Oh, well, raise your hand if you're sure
• 16:34
  this was a deodorant. Deodorant back in the day, that was.
• 16:36
  Sure.
• 16:37
  >> Speaker B: S u r e. S u r. Huh.
• 16:40
  Sure.
• 16:41
  >> Speaker A: This is how you spell sure?
• 16:42
  >> Speaker B: Yes, it is. And that's why they came up with a jingle.
• 16:45
  Raise your hand if you're sure, because then you knew you were
• 16:47
  fresh.
• 16:48
  >> Speaker A: Hey, can I tell you, that's better than most
• 16:51
  of what's going on in the deodorant world right now? I believe
• 16:54
  it because the current deodorant game is,
• 16:57
  and God bless them, but they're, like,
• 17:00
  making deodorant that is scented.
• 17:03
  Like what I would think when I think of a candle. It's
• 17:06
  like, pumpkin spice and all this nonsense. No, thank
• 17:08
  you. It's
• 17:11
  fine. Like, my wife has visited that.
• 17:15
  Um.
• 17:15
  >> Speaker B: What is it, mahogany? Cypress?
• 17:18
  >> Speaker A: No, right now, um,
• 17:22
  she has toasted vanilla, marshmallow. Uh,
• 17:25
  we don't need to talk about why. I know
• 17:28
  why.
• 17:28
  >> Speaker B: Do you know? Let's talk about that. Actually.
• 17:30
  >> Speaker A: Have I not told you this yet?
• 17:32
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 17:32
  >> Speaker A: Oh, dog. I took a bite of it.
• 17:35
  >> Speaker B: Oh, okay. Yeah. How did it taste?
• 17:37
  >> Speaker A: It was absolutely terrible. It was like one of the worst things I've
• 17:40
  ever put in my mouth.
• 17:41
  >> Speaker B: It's still deodorant. But wait, time
• 17:44
  out. Hold on. Let's clarify this here. Did she
• 17:47
  use it before?
• 17:48
  >> Speaker A: No.
• 17:48
  >> Speaker B: Was it fresh out of the package?
• 17:50
  >> Speaker A: It was fresh.
• 17:51
  >> Speaker B: No one's used it fresh. And you just like. Yes. Okay,
• 17:54
  so there's no body odor.
• 17:55
  >> Speaker A: Totally unadulterated. Until I adulterated it.
• 17:58
  >> Speaker B: Until you adulterated it. Okay.
• 18:00
  >> Speaker A: Um, but, yeah.
• 18:02
  >> Speaker B: Who hasn't licked a deodorant stick? I'm sure
• 18:05
  everybody has. Come on, y'all. Come
• 18:08
  on. You're a liar if you have.
• 18:10
  >> Speaker A: I'm going to add that to the list of questions that I ask all
• 18:13
  people.
• 18:14
  >> Speaker B: You should.
• 18:14
  >> Speaker A: Have you ever licked deodorant?
• 18:16
  >> Speaker B: Deodorant? Um, your own deodorant, even
• 18:19
  after using it? Come on now.
• 18:23
  >> Speaker A: I don't know. You don't know?
• 18:27
  >> Speaker B: Why are you turning red?
• 18:29
  >> Speaker A: Uh, I'm not good. But what I do know is
• 18:32
  I'm not.
• 18:33
  >> Speaker B: It's hard to tell on the podcast.
• 18:35
  >> Speaker A: Dang it. Okay, that voice.
• 18:40
  I do that voice to make fun of, like, sometimes
• 18:43
  students. Um, guys, um,
• 18:47
  and that's your voice to. With me.
• 18:50
  Son of a gun.
• 18:51
  >> Speaker B: Got him.
• 18:52
  >> Speaker A: Uh, eat
• 18:53
  deodorant. Uh, yeah.
• 18:56
  Dang sure.
• 19:00
  Was that what you use with.
• 19:01
  >> Speaker B: Sure. Yes, it was. Uh, well, and then for a while, I
• 19:04
  mean, the big thing was, uh, old spice. They didn't
• 19:07
  have all the conglomerate of. I still like.
• 19:10
  It was just like, old spice. And maybe the sport
• 19:13
  one. I don't know, the sport one.
• 19:14
  >> Speaker A: That was pretty much sport one's what I use.
• 19:16
  >> Speaker B: So here's the crazy thing about that. That stuff started hurting
• 19:19
  me really bad. I don't know whether it was just the chemicals in it or whatever,
• 19:22
  but I'd get a rash under my arm and so my lymph
• 19:25
  nodes would swell and eventually had to have surgery and stop holding
• 19:28
  that. Yeah, that's why I went to sure, because
• 19:31
  it had less trap in it, whatever it was. So
• 19:34
  I can't even use old spice anymore.
• 19:36
  >> Speaker A: Like, still to this day.
• 19:37
  >> Speaker B: Still to this day. Can't use
• 19:40
  it.
• 19:40
  >> Speaker A: Wow.
• 19:41
  >> Speaker B: It just breaks me out underneath my arms. I don't know why? Whatever it is, there's
• 19:44
  some sort of chemical that my body's like, screw you, I'm out of
• 19:47
  here.
• 19:47
  >> Speaker A: Hot.
• 19:49
  >> Speaker B: It literally was.
• 19:50
  >> Speaker A: Dang, dude, that's crazy.
• 19:52
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 19:52
  >> Speaker A: Uh, wow. Old spice
• 19:55
  of all, too.
• 19:57
  >> Speaker B: I know, right? Old school.
• 19:59
  >> Speaker A: I would have thought that old spice would have been, like, one of the safe
• 20:01
  ones.
• 20:02
  >> Speaker B: I even tried Axax. Doesn't work for me. Really?
• 20:05
  The only thing I do use right now is dove. I know that sounds.
• 20:08
  >> Speaker A: Oh, no, that's fine.
• 20:09
  >> Speaker B: Sounds kind of effeminate, but I know they
• 20:11
  have men choices.
• 20:14
  >> Speaker A: But, hey, I took a bite of toasted
• 20:17
  vanilla marshmallow deodorant, so I ain't got nothing to
• 20:20
  say. Brand was it, uh,
• 20:22
  secret? Well, the brand
• 20:25
  was native, okay?
• 20:28
  >> Speaker B: Or naive, as I like to call it.
• 20:29
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. So I'm not proud of
• 20:32
  how much I spent on that deodorant before I took a bite of
• 20:35
  it, but, like, eight? Um, yeah.
• 20:38
  >> Speaker B: $9 for a deodorant that you just wanted.
• 20:41
  >> Speaker A: And then why don't you just take.
• 20:42
  >> Speaker B: A bite and leave it at the store?
• 20:45
  >> Speaker A: Because I couldn't do that. Because what if
• 20:48
  somebody sees me? Like, over here?
• 20:50
  >> Speaker B: Half the battle, that's half the fun.
• 20:53
  Someone goes home to tell this story to their family.
• 20:55
  Dude, I saw this weird guy today at the
• 20:58
  store. He literally opened up the deodorant and took a bite
• 21:01
  out of it. What the hell is wrong with this world?
• 21:03
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, my gosh,
• 21:06
  dude.
• 21:08
  >> Speaker B: See? People's reactions. That's great.
• 21:10
  >> Speaker A: Yeah.
• 21:10
  >> Speaker B: I wish you would have done that now. Yeah.
• 21:12
  >> Speaker A: Hey, who knows? Maybe for round two on the
• 21:15
  deodorant. Buy it.
• 21:16
  >> Speaker B: Is that going to be on TikTok?
• 21:17
  >> Speaker A: You should do that.
• 21:20
  It's unfortunately on TikTok.
• 21:22
  >> Speaker B: Uh.
• 21:22
  >> Speaker A: Uh, good.
• 21:23
  >> Speaker B: Um, handle again.
• 21:27
  Owlette seven. Yeah.
• 21:30
  >> Speaker A: Remember the days where we used to shout, I
• 21:32
  can't. He's a still student there. Dang it.
• 21:35
  >> Speaker B: Uh, I do.
• 21:36
  >> Speaker A: He's still triggered by that.
• 21:38
  >> Speaker B: Really?
• 21:38
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, he brings it up all the time. Yeah, like you and Mr.
• 21:41
  Love.
• 21:45
  >> Speaker B: It was his snap. It's what he needed.
• 21:47
  >> Speaker A: Adam was.
• 21:47
  >> Speaker B: We're trying to get him a mean. Come on. We were looking
• 21:50
  out for the boy.
• 21:52
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. Freshman.
• 21:53
  >> Speaker B: He's senior this year.
• 21:54
  >> Speaker A: Oh, he very much is.
• 21:56
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, he's ready. I'm surprised he stayed
• 21:59
  that long, but that's good. Good for him. Talks
• 22:01
  about his teacher. There you go. Good job, good
• 22:04
  job. Way to help him.
• 22:06
  >> Speaker A: No. So you had
• 22:09
  more stories of bathroom horrors or other
• 22:12
  things?
• 22:12
  >> Speaker B: Oh, God, yes. Okay, so here's number, uh,
• 22:16
  hat. This one does not involve me.
• 22:18
  Personally. But I did witness it, and it does involve
• 22:21
  a family member. So my son,
• 22:24
  Emmett. Okay. We were at
• 22:27
  Waterloo park, and my son was
• 22:29
  probably at the time, three. Three
• 22:32
  and a half. Okay. And we were there with my family. My mom and dad had
• 22:35
  come into town. They moved from. I just poked myself in the
• 22:38
  eye. Do you see that?
• 22:40
  >> Speaker A: Blink, whack.
• 22:42
  >> Speaker B: Um, editing.
• 22:44
  >> Speaker A: That's all staying in. I refuse.
• 22:46
  >> Speaker B: You refuse? Okay, good. Um, so he's
• 22:49
  three at the time. My daughter hasn't been born
• 22:52
  yet. Um, I think Roxanne was pregnant at the
• 22:55
  time. We were at Waterloo park. We're there with, uh,
• 22:57
  my, uh, stepsister, Emily.
• 23:00
  And I guess she's my sister, because my parents adopted her. Whatever. However
• 23:03
  that works out. Anyway, so she was there with her
• 23:06
  kids, and my parents were there. We had pizza, right, for
• 23:09
  lunch. Kids are all playing. They're at the
• 23:11
  park, having fun, doing their own thing.
• 23:15
  Emmett, mind you, at this point, is 100%
• 23:17
  potty trained. Like, he can tell us when he needs to
• 23:20
  go to the bathroom. He knows when to stop
• 23:23
  playing to go. Right. Well,
• 23:26
  us adults are hanging out, just talking, while the kids are
• 23:29
  over in the little playground area, playing, hanging out.
• 23:32
  And all of a sudden, my sister
• 23:35
  yells, hey, Chris, look at your
• 23:37
  son, Emmett. And he's literally next to the
• 23:40
  play structure, but close enough, like, to a tree.
• 23:43
  They're, like, maybe 4ft apart.
• 23:46
  Emmet has his pants fully down.
• 23:48
  >> Speaker A: Yes.
• 23:49
  >> Speaker B: Squatting to take a big fat
• 23:52
  turd right against the tree. Because he didn't want to
• 23:54
  stop play so bad, uh, to come over and tell us
• 23:57
  that he had to go to the bathroom. Squatted right by the tree, took a dump.
• 24:00
  And all the kids are, like, yelling, hey, look at that kid.
• 24:03
  He's taking a dump. And my son's just like, what?
• 24:06
  I had to go. Took a dump right by the tree in front of
• 24:09
  everybody. God, everybody. It didn't matter who was there. That was my
• 24:12
  son. I even got a picture of it.
• 24:14
  >> Speaker A: Of the turd, of him
• 24:17
  taking, but.
• 24:17
  >> Speaker B: Of him, like, I was pretty far. I was just, like, thinking, this is
• 24:20
  hilarious. So I grabbed my camera as fast
• 24:23
  as I could to catch him in the moment squatting next to the
• 24:26
  tree.
• 24:26
  >> Speaker A: That's hilarious.
• 24:27
  >> Speaker B: All of the kids are yelling.
• 24:29
  >> Speaker A: And the best part is, at that point, he's still at an
• 24:31
  age where it's like, it's fine.
• 24:33
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, just had to poop.
• 24:34
  >> Speaker A: Like, hey, kid, don't do that. But good
• 24:37
  job going to the bathroom. Not in your pants.
• 24:39
  >> Speaker B: Absolutely. He was in underwear
• 24:42
  because he was potty trained. He was done. Good to go.
• 24:44
  >> Speaker A: Hey, you know what?
• 24:48
  That is so great.
• 24:49
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 24:49
  >> Speaker A: Uh, awesome.
• 24:50
  >> Speaker B: But out in the middle of the park, Waterloo park just
• 24:53
  drops trowel.
• 24:54
  >> Speaker A: My only follow up is
• 24:58
  and I can cut this. Did you
• 25:01
  guys leave it?
• 25:02
  >> Speaker B: Of course we did. Yes.
• 25:05
  I'm not going to go pick it up.
• 25:07
  >> Speaker A: Get one of those doggy bags.
• 25:08
  >> Speaker B: No, I left it. No way. Probably still there
• 25:11
  today is making that tree grow bigger.
• 25:13
  >> Speaker A: That's right. He was fertilizing the lawn.
• 25:15
  >> Speaker B: Fertilizing the lawn and the trees. Yeah, I left
• 25:18
  it 100%.
• 25:19
  >> Speaker A: That's hilarious. Young eman.
• 25:22
  >> Speaker B: Yup. Uh, that when he's a teenager,
• 25:24
  he'll love it. So will his first girlfriend.
• 25:27
  >> Speaker A: Sucker. Just play this for them when they're older.
• 25:30
  Absolutely. Here you go, kid.
• 25:32
  Strap in.
• 25:33
  >> Speaker B: It'll be great.
• 25:34
  >> Speaker A: Um, wow.
• 25:39
  The image of.
• 25:41
  >> Speaker B: I don't know if I still have that picture. I should show you. I'll see if I can look
• 25:44
  for it.
• 25:45
  >> Speaker A: Um, it's great. So
• 25:49
  while you look, any other stories
• 25:51
  of bathroom horrors or otherwise.
• 25:54
  >> Speaker B: Okay. This is my last story that I
• 25:57
  have. I'd have to get on Amazon prime, probably photos to
• 26:00
  figure that out.
• 26:00
  >> Speaker A: Prime photos. Not a sponsor.
• 26:02
  >> Speaker B: Not a sponsor yet. Um, this
• 26:05
  one was when I was working and I was going to school.
• 26:08
  And so, um, I was working for national
• 26:11
  frozen foods, and at the time I was a truck
• 26:14
  driver. Okay. So basically what
• 26:17
  I would do is I would
• 26:19
  drive from the plant to
• 26:22
  the field, grab beans, go back to the plant,
• 26:25
  drop off the beans, do all that kind of stuff. Green beans
• 26:28
  is what they did all the time.
• 26:29
  >> Speaker A: Slinging beans.
• 26:30
  >> Speaker B: Okay, slinging beans. Um, and
• 26:32
  so
• 26:36
  some days you feel good, some days you don't.
• 26:38
  I happened to have a little bit of an upset tummy.
• 26:41
  Drank some coffee, just kind of was like,
• 26:45
  it'll be all right. Added some bread.
• 26:48
  Just tried to
• 26:50
  feel a little bit better. I still wanted to go to work, needed money. You know how
• 26:53
  it is, right? Times are tough. Um,
• 26:57
  and so I'm driving this truck down I
• 27:00
  five, and, uh,
• 27:02
  feeling like, who? I need to go. And
• 27:05
  I need to go now. I need to go
• 27:08
  now. I need to go,
• 27:11
  um,
• 27:15
  in a company, uh, mean, I'm
• 27:17
  like 3 miles from that rest stop between
• 27:20
  millersburg and where that is just out there. Just out
• 27:23
  past millersburg. And I'm like, I don't think I'm going to
• 27:26
  make it. Driving in, I'm like
• 27:29
  speeding with an empty truck, trying to get
• 27:32
  to this bathroom. Uh,
• 27:35
  and this is me heading out to the field, mind you.
• 27:38
  Uh, instead of on my way in with a full truck.
• 27:40
  And so I'm speeding in, trying to
• 27:43
  get to that bathroom, driving north on I
• 27:46
  five, and I can't hold it.
• 27:49
  Can't hold it. So I just mess
• 27:52
  myself so way bad
• 27:55
  that I'm literally dripping
• 27:58
  with diarrhea all over my
• 28:00
  pants. My truck is
• 28:02
  bad. Uh,
• 28:05
  yeah, I got some in my shoes.
• 28:08
  My sock. Yeah, it was really bad.
• 28:11
  So I go into the restroom and try and get myself
• 28:14
  as clean as possible. I'm like the weird
• 28:16
  homeless guy that's standing in there, like, trying to
• 28:19
  wash off my pants to the best I can. My shoes the best.
• 28:22
  >> Speaker A: Oh, my God.
• 28:22
  >> Speaker B: Uh, my undies, I just threw them away. There was no sense in
• 28:25
  keeping them, right?
• 28:26
  >> Speaker A: They're done.
• 28:26
  >> Speaker B: They're done. There's just no way. I'm like, nah, that's not worth
• 28:29
  saving. They already had a couple of holes in them
• 28:32
  anyway.
• 28:35
  This doesn't matter. Yeah. Ah, we'll talk about
• 28:37
  underwear later. Right? How much you spend on
• 28:40
  underwear?
• 28:40
  >> Speaker A: I don't spend anything anymore.
• 28:42
  >> Speaker B: Not anymore. Right. You used
• 28:45
  to. Back to the story.
• 28:50
  You're not going to come out of that smelling like daisies? No,
• 28:53
  not one iota. Uh, but I still have a job to
• 28:56
  do, so I go out to the field after I've
• 28:59
  cleaned up. I don't have to get out of my truck, thank
• 29:01
  God. Um, they come in, dump beans into my truck, and
• 29:04
  I'm able to just go straight in,
• 29:07
  uh, back from wherever the field was. And I come back
• 29:10
  in, and again, it hits. It hits on my
• 29:13
  way back in. Yes. And again. I'm
• 29:16
  like, two or 3 miles from that rest stop, but
• 29:19
  now going south.
• 29:20
  >> Speaker A: Whoa.
• 29:21
  >> Speaker B: And boom. Can't hold it.
• 29:23
  Do it again. Again.
• 29:25
  >> Speaker A: No way.
• 29:26
  >> Speaker B: Twice.
• 29:26
  >> Speaker A: A twofer. Twofer again.
• 29:29
  >> Speaker B: Just more juice all over me. It
• 29:32
  was bad. It was bad. I had to get out again
• 29:35
  and go, like, just try and wash off my pants the best I
• 29:37
  could. Wash off my legs and my.
• 29:39
  >> Speaker A: But at this point, you don't have underwear.
• 29:41
  >> Speaker B: No, at this point, I don't have underwear. Right. Nothing? No.
• 29:44
  I don't know if you ever tried this. Uh, have you ever tried a man
• 29:47
  pond? Do you know what a manpawn?
• 29:49
  >> Speaker A: I have not tried it, but I know what it is.
• 29:51
  >> Speaker B: What is a manpon?
• 29:52
  >> Speaker A: It's essentially, to my understanding, I'm going to add that
• 29:55
  caveat is you take a section of toilet
• 29:58
  paper and you affix it into the
• 30:01
  shape of a tampon, and
• 30:03
  you jam it up the backside to stop
• 30:06
  leakage.
• 30:07
  >> Speaker B: Essentially. That's basically what I had.
• 30:10
  >> Speaker A: Did you go for that?
• 30:11
  >> Speaker B: Huh?
• 30:12
  >> Speaker A: Did you go for that?
• 30:13
  >> Speaker B: What do you mean?
• 30:14
  >> Speaker A: Did you do it? Did you do this thing?
• 30:17
  >> Speaker B: Uh, yes, I did. Whoa.
• 30:21
  >> Speaker A: What was the effectiveness? Did it work?
• 30:24
  >> Speaker B: I mean, you're talking one ply,
• 30:26
  like, scratchy. This isn't like
• 30:29
  Charmin, where you can use two pieces of toilet paper, and it's
• 30:32
  good.
• 30:33
  >> Speaker A: Beautiful bears.
• 30:33
  >> Speaker B: Fine. Those beautiful bears.
• 30:36
  Right? This, um, is, like, terrible
• 30:39
  toilet paper, and it's kind of scratchy, and it hurts your bunghole.
• 30:42
  >> Speaker A: Would you ever do, like, paper towel?
• 30:45
  >> Speaker B: It's too rough. Too rough. I've tried
• 30:47
  it. Too rough.
• 30:49
  >> Speaker A: He's tried.
• 30:50
  >> Speaker B: I've tried it, y'all. I've tried it.
• 30:52
  >> Speaker A: How often? Nah, no, go ahead.
• 30:54
  >> Speaker B: That's fine.
• 30:55
  >> Speaker A: How often do you attempt this procedure?
• 30:57
  >> Speaker B: Um, well, so if any of you have ever seen
• 31:00
  me, you know that I really don't have much
• 31:03
  of a, um, butt cheeks.
• 31:06
  I don't have any. Literally, it's a back and a
• 31:09
  crack. Uh,
• 31:12
  there's just two teeny little hams that I
• 31:15
  have. They're just small, little butt cheeks. Not
• 31:18
  much there. Um, and
• 31:20
  I'm trying to think if this was a time when I was losing weight as well, because
• 31:23
  I'd had, um, some bariatric surgery at the time, and
• 31:26
  so I was a little skinnier. So even more. Less of a
• 31:29
  butt. I think that's part of what I was
• 31:32
  doing. Um.
• 31:33
  >> Speaker A: Oh, you think that's part of that.
• 31:35
  >> Speaker B: Just losing that weight? I don't know. Um, and so,
• 31:38
  yeah, I tried it. Stuffed as much as I
• 31:41
  could. It doesn't feel that comfortable,
• 31:43
  but it protects you a little bit. Yeah,
• 31:47
  not that day. Um. Man, it was
• 31:50
  bad.
• 31:51
  >> Speaker A: Do you think you ate something or what?
• 31:54
  >> Speaker B: I have no idea. I don't know if I. Poisoning.
• 31:56
  I'm not sure. So literally, I get in.
• 31:59
  Uh, and this is probably the most embarrassing part, because you don't smell
• 32:02
  good at all. You have to get out of your truck and
• 32:05
  go weigh your beans and then go dump your beans. Right.
• 32:08
  >> Speaker A: Nice.
• 32:09
  >> Speaker B: Uh, so I do that, and then I go into the
• 32:12
  office and say, hey, I got to go. Uh, I need to
• 32:15
  leave.
• 32:16
  >> Speaker A: Uh, why?
• 32:17
  >> Speaker B: Smelling like I smelled.
• 32:20
  They're, uh. Like, yeah, okay. No questions
• 32:23
  asked. Okay. That was
• 32:26
  it, then. I was on the toilet pretty much all
• 32:29
  day.
• 32:29
  >> Speaker A: Wow.
• 32:30
  >> Speaker B: I don't know what it was. I had something.
• 32:32
  >> Speaker A: Did you have to do any cleaning in the truck?
• 32:35
  >> Speaker B: Oh, of course. Yeah. That's, uh, part of what I did
• 32:38
  when I was there, was trying to clean out as much of that
• 32:41
  truck as possible because there's other
• 32:43
  drivers who go in there, so I didn't want someone to catch the
• 32:46
  poor cholera from me or whatever.
• 32:48
  >> Speaker A: Oh, the poor bloke gets in there,
• 32:51
  opens the thing. It sits in the heat all day.
• 32:54
  >> Speaker B: Sure. It did not smell very good, right? Uh.
• 32:57
  >> Speaker A: Dang. Wow.
• 33:01
  That, uh, is one of the best diarrhea stories I've ever heard in my life.
• 33:04
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Actually, I just thought of another story. Perfect. I
• 33:07
  can't believe I forgot about this story.
• 33:09
  >> Speaker A: Well, we're here.
• 33:11
  >> Speaker B: This one's kind of funny. So
• 33:14
  this time I'm with Andrew peterson.
• 33:18
  >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
• 33:18
  >> Speaker B: Uh, Casey horn. You know him?
• 33:20
  >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
• 33:20
  >> Speaker B: Okay. So, uh, he's the wrestling coach at west Albany. I was over
• 33:23
  there as an IA, and we decided,
• 33:26
  well, not decided, I was going with them down
• 33:29
  to, um, crater high
• 33:32
  school. And they had this big tournament going on at the
• 33:34
  time. And so what we were to do was to camp there
• 33:37
  outside of the school, basically, while this
• 33:40
  wrestling tournament was going on. Um, and it's
• 33:43
  nighttime, right. And
• 33:46
  we're not going to have access to the bathrooms because the school is all pretty much
• 33:49
  locked up after the.
• 33:53
  >> Speaker A: Uh.
• 33:53
  >> Speaker B: But what was available, and I happened to find
• 33:56
  know, you get that urge to poop. You have it.
• 33:59
  Um, there was
• 34:02
  a bucket there. Okay. Yes.
• 34:05
  So I find this bucket. I have to
• 34:08
  go. Andrew knows this, Casey knows this, that
• 34:11
  I got to go. I literally take the biggest,
• 34:13
  fattest, gnarliest dump inside of this, and I'm like,
• 34:16
  now what do I do with it? What do
• 34:19
  I do with this? What do I do with this bucket? The only
• 34:22
  thing I could think of at the time was throw it over the fence that was
• 34:25
  near us. So I just threw this bucket over the
• 34:28
  fence, thinking. And I didn't think of anything of it
• 34:31
  until. No Monday morning came
• 34:34
  around, and Casey Horn gets his email
• 34:37
  about someone who threw a
• 34:39
  bucket over the fence full of
• 34:42
  feces.
• 34:45
  >> Speaker A: Where did it land?
• 34:47
  >> Speaker B: I don't even know. I just literally threw it over the fence.
• 34:50
  >> Speaker A: What was it like, a citizen?
• 34:52
  >> Speaker B: I don't know if it was a citizen. Someone from their school
• 34:55
  creator school said that they
• 34:57
  found over in the west Albany
• 35:00
  section, uh, a bucket full
• 35:03
  of poop.
• 35:03
  >> Speaker A: What the heck?
• 35:05
  >> Speaker B: And so, of course, Casey
• 35:07
  laughed a lot about Andrew.
• 35:10
  >> Speaker A: What did he say in response? Was he like, oh, yeah,
• 35:13
  I don't.
• 35:14
  >> Speaker B: Know what you're talking about. I'm not sure what happened. I don't know. I mean,
• 35:17
  he basically tried to
• 35:19
  play dumb.
• 35:20
  >> Speaker A: Oh, that's so good. I
• 35:23
  just have this picture of.
• 35:27
  >> Speaker B: How.
• 35:28
  >> Speaker A: Sometimes schools, they share a property line
• 35:30
  with just people who? Some guy
• 35:33
  sitting in his backyard, uh, watching
• 35:36
  thump. And just.
• 35:38
  >> Speaker B: No, there was like, this bush kind of near it. I
• 35:41
  tried to hide it, and I think basically I lifted it over,
• 35:44
  trying to not let it slosh all over the
• 35:47
  place.
• 35:47
  >> Speaker A: Gosh. Just slinging
• 35:50
  it.
• 35:51
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. So I just was like, I'm going to kind of toss it and
• 35:54
  let it do its thing. It landed upright. Uh,
• 35:57
  and then. Yeah.
• 35:58
  >> Speaker A: Wow.
• 35:58
  >> Speaker B: Someone from crater school found it.
• 36:01
  >> Speaker A: Or their neighbor.
• 36:02
  >> Speaker B: Or their neighbor.
• 36:03
  >> Speaker A: And called it in. That's what I'm called it in.
• 36:06
  Could you imagine being.
• 36:07
  >> Speaker B: Then we got an email saying, hey, uh, I don't know what you guys were
• 36:10
  doing over there, but we found this bucket of crap. Do you know anything
• 36:13
  about it? No. What are you talking about?
• 36:15
  >> Speaker A: I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't know
• 36:18
  who would do that.
• 36:19
  >> Speaker B: That's disgusting.
• 36:24
  You could actually ask Casey about that someday.
• 36:26
  >> Speaker A: Oh, if I ever have the opportunity,
• 36:29
  because he barely knows who I am. He
• 36:32
  knows that I'm like the equivalent of him across town,
• 36:37
  but that's about it. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a
• 36:40
  homeless person. Um, so I
• 36:43
  would definitely will just walk up and say, hey, I have a question for you.
• 36:46
  >> Speaker B: Do you know Chris Luckman?
• 36:47
  >> Speaker A: Do you know Chris Luckman? And more importantly, do you know about the
• 36:50
  bucket?
• 36:51
  >> Speaker B: The bucket from crater?
• 36:52
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, the crater bucket.
• 36:54
  >> Speaker B: Crater.
• 36:54
  >> Speaker A: High school bucket.
• 36:55
  >> Speaker B: High school bucket.
• 36:56
  >> Speaker A: Um, yeah, that's. That's great.
• 36:58
  Um, well, so, Chris, I
• 37:01
  have a number of questions that I ask every person who comes on
• 37:04
  the podcast.
• 37:05
  >> Speaker B: Done. I'm ready. Fire away.
• 37:07
  >> Speaker A: And the first is,
• 37:10
  what type of toilet paper do you use
• 37:13
  at your home?
• 37:14
  >> Speaker B: Typically at Costco. Whatever. The Costco brand.
• 37:17
  Yeah, Costco brand. Um, I mean, I
• 37:20
  know I've said charmin. Uh, I'm not really actually a
• 37:22
  huge fan of Charmin. Charmin. Charmin.
• 37:25
  >> Speaker A: Charman.
• 37:25
  >> Speaker B: Whatever. Uh, it's too soft and
• 37:28
  fluffy for me. I just like the regular.
• 37:31
  >> Speaker A: Uh, when you've. When you've experienced charmin in the past, are
• 37:34
  you experiencing red bag or blue bag? Charmin?
• 37:37
  >> Speaker B: I don't know. Red? Yes. Yes
• 37:39
  to.
• 37:40
  >> Speaker A: That's, uh,
• 37:43
  I mean, that's what we're rocking. Yeah, pretty much.
• 37:46
  >> Speaker B: It's all right.
• 37:47
  >> Speaker A: Uh, to me, it's the best toilet paper.
• 37:50
  I might be saying too much taking that stance, but
• 37:55
  cost to thickness to plushness,
• 37:58
  it's the trifecta for me. Yeah, it gets
• 38:01
  me real good.
• 38:02
  >> Speaker B: Um, doesn't leave those dingleberries hanging. No.
• 38:05
  If you know what.
• 38:05
  >> Speaker A: No, you scrape them out, scrape.
• 38:09
  Um, do you all fold it over or under at
• 38:12
  your home?
• 38:13
  >> Speaker B: Uh, it definitely goes over. Over.
• 38:16
  Well, and actually, at our house, to be fair, uh,
• 38:19
  we don't even really have a toilet paper holder.
• 38:22
  And part of it is because when you have younger kids,
• 38:25
  things get broken easily.
• 38:26
  >> Speaker A: They're unruly.
• 38:27
  >> Speaker B: They really are.
• 38:28
  >> Speaker A: Oh, I know.
• 38:28
  >> Speaker B: Hard and stuff. And so we had one, this metal one that we bought, and it
• 38:31
  had kind of like the little thing that came down while one of the kids kind
• 38:34
  of broke it. And so it's just got this little platform.
• 38:37
  But I am definitely an over guy.
• 38:39
  >> Speaker A: Over. Why do you feel that is how it needs to
• 38:42
  be?
• 38:42
  >> Speaker B: Uh, because that's the right way to do it.
• 38:45
  >> Speaker A: Why do you feel that?
• 38:46
  >> Speaker B: Because that's how I roll.
• 38:49
  Um, pull down. You never have to pull
• 38:51
  under. I don't know if you have to pull under it. You
• 38:54
  sometimes have to reach all the way under to get it.
• 38:57
  >> Speaker A: Do you jam your fingers?
• 38:58
  >> Speaker B: Uh, do I jam. No. Who jams their fingers? You got to be to
• 39:01
  jam your fingers? Well, I mean, you've got to
• 39:04
  be
• 39:07
  unstable.
• 39:08
  >> Speaker A: I've had a number of people tell me that that's why they do
• 39:11
  it over is because they're afraid of, quote, jamming their
• 39:14
  fingers.
• 39:15
  >> Speaker B: Well, those people are, quote,
• 39:17
  unquote.
• 39:20
  Is that. Am I not allowed to say the R word?
• 39:22
  >> Speaker A: It's okay. With the power of editing, we can fix anything.
• 39:25
  >> Speaker B: Bleep it. They are
• 39:27
  beep.
• 39:28
  >> Speaker A: I'll just dub in, like you saying a different word
• 39:31
  earlier on.
• 39:32
  >> Speaker B: Okay. They are
• 39:35
  anus.
• 39:37
  >> Speaker A: They are manpond.
• 39:38
  >> Speaker B: Manpond. Yeah.
• 39:41
  >> Speaker A: Anyway.
• 39:42
  >> Speaker B: Sorry.
• 39:43
  >> Speaker A: No, you're good. Um, how many
• 39:46
  sheets do you, when you go in for the wipe job, how
• 39:49
  many sheets do you use on the regular?
• 39:51
  >> Speaker B: Uh, I don't count. Who
• 39:54
  counts?
• 39:54
  >> Speaker A: I count.
• 39:55
  >> Speaker B: I probably go one, two,
• 39:58
  three loops. Three little loops.
• 40:01
  So however many that is, that's probably about
• 40:03
  eight sheets. Eight sheets.
• 40:05
  >> Speaker A: So you're a loop.
• 40:06
  >> Speaker B: Who is Atlantis? Well, because I have to right now because
• 40:09
  the thing's broken and I'm too lazy to go to the store and buy
• 40:12
  one.
• 40:12
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. So I'm a folder.
• 40:15
  Like, when m I pull it out, I get my four.
• 40:18
  So I start with four, and then I fold it into a
• 40:21
  perfect square.
• 40:22
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Who doesn't do that?
• 40:23
  >> Speaker A: And then I go back for round one. And then based on how
• 40:26
  wet the job is, we'll determine if I'm going
• 40:29
  four or three from there on
• 40:32
  out.
• 40:32
  >> Speaker B: Uh, you mean more?
• 40:34
  >> Speaker A: Yeah.
• 40:34
  >> Speaker B: See, I do the three loops, and that's more than enough. To get the job
• 40:37
  done most of the time.
• 40:39
  >> Speaker A: Oh, so you're, like, going, are you reusing the
• 40:42
  pile?
• 40:44
  >> Speaker B: Uh, well, I mean, you can go around the whole
• 40:47
  pile, right? Yeah.
• 40:50
  Talking technique here. Now, you just,
• 40:53
  like, go under, and then you wipe.
• 40:56
  You kind of move it with your thumb a little bit.
• 40:59
  Wipe a little more. So you move it with your thumb, and you move it.
• 41:02
  So you're, like, getting this circle turd on your toilet
• 41:05
  paper.
• 41:06
  >> Speaker A: Are you creating, like, a wheel?
• 41:08
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, essentially.
• 41:09
  >> Speaker A: And that is what wipes.
• 41:10
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 41:12
  >> Speaker A: This is beyond me. I have never heard of this
• 41:15
  before in my entire life.
• 41:16
  >> Speaker B: Never heard that one. Let's try it.
• 41:17
  >> Speaker A: You are going to
• 41:20
  change the smell of my finger?
• 41:22
  >> Speaker B: Uh, sometimes. Just depends, I guess,
• 41:25
  on how rough you want to be up in there. Well,
• 41:28
  you're going like a savage. And you're like. I mean, I'm not a
• 41:31
  crumbler. Those guys are savage.
• 41:32
  >> Speaker A: Crumbler.
• 41:33
  >> Speaker B: If you're a crumbler, you're a savage.
• 41:34
  >> Speaker A: I can't literally, my son.
• 41:37
  >> Speaker B: Mine does, too.
• 41:38
  >> Speaker A: Why do kids.
• 41:40
  >> Speaker B: I think they try. They're like, I don't want to take the time
• 41:43
  to fold it, so I'm going to crumble it and just shove my fingers
• 41:46
  up there. And if I get dirty, I get dirty. I'll wash my hands
• 41:48
  anyway. I don't care.
• 41:50
  >> Speaker A: Dad. Dad, I need help.
• 41:51
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, that happens often. Yeah.
• 41:54
  >> Speaker A: Um. Wow. The
• 41:57
  wheel. Wipe.
• 41:58
  >> Speaker B: The wheel wipe. Am I the first?
• 41:59
  >> Speaker A: You are the first. Not only on this show, but
• 42:02
  ever in my entire life. You're welcome to describe.
• 42:05
  I've had somebody tell me I stand up for every.
• 42:10
  Yeah, no. Well, he's a special soul.
• 42:12
  >> Speaker B: We don't. I mean, is this the Bradley guy or
• 42:15
  what was his name? What was the. Brad. The guy
• 42:18
  up in Spokane. What's your name? No.
• 42:20
  >> Speaker A: Bradley.
• 42:21
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 42:21
  >> Speaker A: Bradley poops naked.
• 42:23
  >> Speaker B: Uh, every time.
• 42:24
  >> Speaker A: Every time.
• 42:25
  >> Speaker B: He. There's no way. Okay, well, that's.
• 42:29
  >> Speaker A: Yes.
• 42:30
  >> Speaker B: Does he have kids?
• 42:32
  >> Speaker A: Um, I believe he has a
• 42:34
  child.
• 42:35
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 42:35
  >> Speaker A: I should know this. I'm going to say yes.
• 42:37
  >> Speaker B: All right, fair enough. I mean, I'm not adverse
• 42:40
  to opening a door when you
• 42:43
  poop. Oh, yeah. You have to.
• 42:45
  >> Speaker A: I almost never lock the door.
• 42:47
  >> Speaker B: No, I'm not talking about locking the door. I'm talking about
• 42:51
  having the door all the way open and then yelling
• 42:53
  at people to come to you just so they can see you sitting
• 42:56
  there taking a crap.
• 42:58
  >> Speaker A: Got you.
• 43:01
  >> Speaker B: And the other thing I love doing, uh,
• 43:03
  is sometimes wiping and just throwing it into
• 43:06
  the trash bin or whatever and leaving a big.
• 43:09
  I mean, the biggest turd I've ever had, literally, was a toilet
• 43:12
  wrapper, like, all the way around. One
• 43:15
  solid piece was great.
• 43:17
  >> Speaker A: Whoa.
• 43:18
  >> Speaker B: I mean, I've sent pictures to people, I think. I didn't send pictures to you.
• 43:21
  >> Speaker A: I'm certain that I've seen these images.
• 43:23
  >> Speaker B: Uh, and my brother got really pissed at me
• 43:26
  because he's like, stop sending these damn pictures to me.
• 43:29
  >> Speaker A: They're disgusting.
• 43:29
  >> Speaker B: And I'm like, it's hilarious.
• 43:31
  >> Speaker A: Get over it, bud.
• 43:32
  >> Speaker B: It's a potty shot. You got to. Yeah. I warned
• 43:34
  you. Don't look at it.
• 43:36
  >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Speaking of not opening things when
• 43:39
  they're sent to you, um, we're
• 43:42
  off on this.
• 43:43
  >> Speaker B: We're off. I know. Sorry.
• 43:44
  >> Speaker A: I'm so proud of the fact that I sent you
• 43:47
  me going to the bathroom, and your wife is the one who opened
• 43:50
  it.
• 43:51
  >> Speaker B: She did. She's, like, never doing that again.
• 43:55
  She thought she was going to try and get you and be like, uh, this is Roxanne.
• 43:58
  She was really hoping you would be embarrassed by that, and I knew
• 44:01
  better.
• 44:02
  >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. She obviously.
• 44:05
  Here we are. Um, I've shared pretty
• 44:08
  much every time I've ever gone to the bathroom on the Internet at
• 44:10
  this well, so.
• 44:13
  But that I talked Anna
• 44:16
  into taking a listen
• 44:19
  to this. Listen, Roxanne.
• 44:23
  No.
• 44:23
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 44:23
  >> Speaker A: But to listening to that.
• 44:27
  Um, and I'm like, Anna, you have to listen to it. Roxanne had
• 44:30
  to hear it. You should have to hear this. We're married. And
• 44:33
  I just played the audio, and I kid you not, she
• 44:36
  gagged,
• 44:39
  and it wasn't, like, fake gag.
• 44:42
  I'm going into the bathroom because I might throw up.
• 44:45
  Actually throw up that, and I'm like, you're kidding me.
• 44:48
  >> Speaker B: She's like, uh.
• 44:49
  >> Speaker A: I was like, yes. Got them.
• 44:51
  >> Speaker B: All right, so, great.
• 44:54
  >> Speaker A: In the bathroom. Are you a bar
• 44:56
  soap or a liquid soap?
• 44:58
  >> Speaker B: Bar soap.
• 44:58
  >> Speaker A: Bar soap.
• 44:59
  >> Speaker B: Bar soap. I use bar soap and aloofa.
• 45:02
  Bar soap and aloofa. Because it's cheaper. It's cheap.
• 45:05
  I don't know.
• 45:05
  >> Speaker A: Um, bar soap and aloofa. So
• 45:08
  do you stick the bar soap into the loofah?
• 45:11
  >> Speaker B: Well, you like, lather. You get the loofah wet, and then
• 45:14
  you get your bar wet. Right. And then you kind of get it all and create enough
• 45:17
  soap to take care.
• 45:17
  >> Speaker A: You got to get your bar wet.
• 45:19
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, you heard it here, kids. Get the
• 45:22
  bar wet.
• 45:22
  >> Speaker A: Uh, do you ever carve messages to your wife in the bar
• 45:25
  soap?
• 45:26
  >> Speaker B: No, I have never. Has she ever. Good idea.
• 45:29
  >> Speaker A: Has she ever carved you a message in the bar soap?
• 45:31
  >> Speaker B: No. Never even thought about it.
• 45:34
  Well, I mean, I've never noticed anything.
• 45:38
  >> Speaker A: Whenever I am encountered with bar soap, I always
• 45:41
  check for a message, ever since talking to Jude
• 45:43
  Dominique.
• 45:44
  >> Speaker B: Because he said that.
• 45:45
  >> Speaker A: He said when he was growing up, he left messages in his bar soap
• 45:48
  for his siblings.
• 45:49
  >> Speaker B: Uh, okay. What kind of messages?
• 45:51
  >> Speaker A: I don't know. I like to think it was like, hey,
• 45:54
  how you doing? And I could
• 45:57
  just ask him, but it's more fun to.
• 45:58
  >> Speaker B: I just use this on my,
• 46:01
  like.
• 46:01
  >> Speaker A: Or, like, how's it hanging to his brother? Or something
• 46:05
  like, that's what I want it to be. Um,
• 46:08
  so, Chris, how do you feel about baths?
• 46:12
  >> Speaker B: Um. They're disgusting. Yeah, they're pretty
• 46:15
  disgusting. Honestly.
• 46:17
  >> Speaker A: Why do you say that?
• 46:18
  >> Speaker B: Because you're sitting in your own filth. I agree already.
• 46:21
  Like, yes, it's human soup.
• 46:23
  Literally.
• 46:25
  >> Speaker A: I feel the exact same way.
• 46:27
  >> Speaker B: Um, and you hear about medieval times where they gave
• 46:30
  milk baths and then gave the milk to sweet
• 46:32
  Lord. People like to drink.
• 46:35
  >> Speaker A: No way. Afterwards?
• 46:37
  >> Speaker B: Afterwards, yeah.
• 46:38
  >> Speaker A: Foul, dude.
• 46:39
  >> Speaker B: I mean, that's what I've heard. I don't know if it's true.
• 46:41
  >> Speaker A: Oh, it's probably true if I've learned.
• 46:43
  >> Speaker B: Anything or make cheese from it. It's already got some
• 46:45
  femonda in it. You know what I mean? Yeah.
• 46:48
  >> Speaker A: Really get up under, living in a land
• 46:50
  down under. Um, yeah. If I've
• 46:53
  learned anything from this show, is that if there's something on the Internet
• 46:56
  or even in a book somewhere about a
• 46:59
  bathroom, it's probably true.
• 47:01
  >> Speaker B: Probably.
• 47:02
  >> Speaker A: Most people don't even like to talk about it. So
• 47:05
  if they're going to write or publish something, it's like, yeah, it's probably
• 47:07
  real. Unfortunately, it's probably real.
• 47:10
  >> Speaker B: Um.
• 47:13
  >> Speaker A: Do you have any bathroom pet peeves?
• 47:17
  >> Speaker B: Um, not
• 47:20
  really. I guess as
• 47:23
  a man, the thing that's annoying is that you have to put down the seat
• 47:26
  right when you go pee because you have ladies
• 47:29
  in the house and that's what the expectation is. But honestly, shouldn't they
• 47:31
  be lifting the toilet seat for me?
• 47:33
  >> Speaker A: Um. Have you ever
• 47:36
  talked to your wife about this?
• 47:38
  >> Speaker B: Heck no. Are you crazy? No. I'll put it down
• 47:41
  every time. Yes, ma'am. You want me to put the seat down? I'll do it for you. She's
• 47:44
  getting up at three in the morning to deal with the kids and she's got to go
• 47:46
  potty. I ain't going to let her fall in. And
• 47:49
  she may or may not have a couple of times, but
• 47:52
  secretly, in.
• 47:53
  >> Speaker A: The back of your brain, you're thinking, why can't you
• 47:55
  just a little.
• 47:56
  >> Speaker B: I mean, I even do it at work. I put down the seat because I work with
• 47:59
  a bunch of women, and there's only, like, one, uh, two,
• 48:02
  three, four dudes there. There is a staff
• 48:05
  bathroom, but, I mean, it's not hard to tell who
• 48:08
  was the last person in there. Especially if you leave the toilet
• 48:11
  seat up, right? It's not like there's a, uh,
• 48:14
  designated male bathroom.
• 48:16
  >> Speaker A: Man, here we are.
• 48:18
  >> Speaker B: In those times, it's just gender neutral
• 48:20
  bathrooms.
• 48:21
  >> Speaker A: So just stick the toilet seat up or down.
• 48:24
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, it's
• 48:26
  stupid. That's fair.
• 48:29
  Why don't we just put urinals in houses? Come on.
• 48:32
  >> Speaker A: That's why they're pet peeves.
• 48:33
  >> Speaker B: They're just lazy plumbers. Don't want to put an extra step of
• 48:36
  giving men urinals in their house. Right? I mean, why not,
• 48:39
  right?
• 48:40
  >> Speaker A: The sentence lazy plumbers is fun.
• 48:42
  >> Speaker B: It is.
• 48:44
  >> Speaker A: Uh, when you eat out, what establishment does you
• 48:47
  the dirtiest?
• 48:49
  >> Speaker B: Um. Um, the
• 48:52
  last one that did us the worst
• 48:54
  was pops branding iron.
• 48:56
  >> Speaker A: Really?
• 48:57
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Uh, pops branding iron. Both Roxanne and I got, like, food
• 49:00
  poisoning, and it was just, like, not fun
• 49:03
  crap after eating it. And then sometimes you look at the food, like, we
• 49:06
  bought biscuits and gravy, and the
• 49:09
  gravy had meat in it, but they literally
• 49:13
  look like deer poop.
• 49:17
  And it just was, like, not,
• 49:19
  man, not good.
• 49:20
  >> Speaker A: I've only had pops once, and it.
• 49:22
  >> Speaker B: Wasn'T bad, but this has been a while.
• 49:25
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, usually that place that does.
• 49:27
  >> Speaker B: So we haven't really gone back.
• 49:29
  >> Speaker A: It's the worst when you get sick. You know what I mean?
• 49:32
  Um, because I eat
• 49:35
  places that just foul me up. We went to
• 49:38
  red robin after young adults Friday, and I had too
• 49:41
  much cheese, fondue the whole thing. And
• 49:44
  then just 03:00 a.m. Just disaster strikes every
• 49:47
  time. Um, I don't learn, either. I refuse to
• 49:49
  learn.
• 49:50
  >> Speaker B: Uh, yeah, I feel you there.
• 49:52
  >> Speaker A: Um, Chris, have you ever taken a dark shower?
• 49:54
  >> Speaker B: I don't know what a dark shower is.
• 49:55
  >> Speaker A: So a dark shower is just simply. You take a shower in the.
• 50:00
  >> Speaker B: What.
• 50:01
  >> Speaker A: What caused you to take a dark shower?
• 50:04
  >> Speaker B: Uh, a friend of mine decided that.
• 50:07
  They said, hey, you should try it. Just calming
• 50:10
  effect. So I did.
• 50:11
  >> Speaker A: Do I know this friend?
• 50:13
  >> Speaker B: No, it was someone in college when.
• 50:15
  >> Speaker A: I was in Montana.
• 50:16
  >> Speaker B: Although I know you were in Montana, but this is like,
• 50:18
  ah, fishtail. But maybe some of
• 50:21
  that's how I actually learned about the dark shower, was.
• 50:24
  >> Speaker A: In college here in Oregon. I had a guy be like,
• 50:27
  hey, you just got to go for the dark shower. Go for the dark
• 50:29
  shower man, who'd have thought that
• 50:32
  the dark shower has been around a lot longer than I was thinking?
• 50:36
  >> Speaker B: Um, what do you mean? What are you saying?
• 50:38
  >> Speaker A: Well, I'm just saying that.
• 50:39
  >> Speaker B: See how you are.
• 50:40
  >> Speaker A: Well, you did start the show
• 50:43
  by saying you were 43.
• 50:45
  >> Speaker B: So 43 is old now.
• 50:47
  >> Speaker A: No, but I'm
• 50:50
  assuming you were in college in Montana
• 50:53
  before I was in college in Oregon.
• 50:55
  >> Speaker B: Yes, that's true. 2001 was when I started.
• 50:58
  Well, 1999 was when I started college.
• 51:00
  >> Speaker A: Really?
• 51:01
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. At Lynn Benton.
• 51:05
  I was an average student, but I never applied
• 51:08
  myself. I mean, my college history is boring, and nobody wants to
• 51:11
  know that I went to college for 15 years longer than a
• 51:13
  doctor.
• 51:14
  >> Speaker A: Um, some of us are still
• 51:17
  in college, so I got nothing to say.
• 51:19
  >> Speaker B: Well, yeah, except you have a degree
• 51:22
  to prove it. And you got, uh, your teaching license and all
• 51:25
  that stuff.
• 51:26
  >> Speaker A: I don't have that yet.
• 51:27
  >> Speaker B: Well, no, sir, but you kind of have an emergency
• 51:30
  license.
• 51:30
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, but from what I've learned, counted, mine
• 51:33
  didn't. Emergency licenses are mostly made up.
• 51:36
  >> Speaker B: Well, so is education.
• 51:39
  >> Speaker A: You ain't wrong. Uh, have you ever eaten an orange in
• 51:42
  the shower as if it was an apple?
• 51:43
  >> Speaker B: No, I have not.
• 51:44
  >> Speaker A: Have you ever know of anybody who does this thing?
• 51:47
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 51:47
  >> Speaker A: It's a thing on the Internet. Uh, you, like, take an orange,
• 51:50
  you peel it, and then you just.
• 51:52
  >> Speaker B: Okay. No, it just dribbles everywhere. No.
• 51:55
  Okay. No.
• 51:56
  >> Speaker A: Um, do you eat anything in the shower or
• 51:59
  drink anything while you're in the shower?
• 52:00
  >> Speaker B: Beer. I've drank beer in the shower. There you go. That's not bad. That's
• 52:03
  beer. Shower is good. Yeah.
• 52:05
  >> Speaker A: Shower, good. Do you ever eat or
• 52:08
  drink anything on the toilet?
• 52:10
  >> Speaker B: Uh, a sandwich? Yeah, sure.
• 52:13
  >> Speaker A: Sandwich.
• 52:13
  >> Speaker B: Sandwich.
• 52:14
  >> Speaker A: Sandwich.
• 52:15
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 52:15
  >> Speaker A: What type of sandwich we talking?
• 52:17
  >> Speaker B: Ham sandwich.
• 52:18
  >> Speaker A: Ham sandwich.
• 52:18
  >> Speaker B: I think that was the last time I ate ribs. I've done ribs.
• 52:21
  >> Speaker A: You've had ribs on the toilet?
• 52:23
  >> Speaker B: Why not?
• 52:23
  >> Speaker A: No way.
• 52:23
  >> Speaker B: People are ready to go, and I had to go, so, you know, you just.
• 52:25
  >> Speaker A: Dude, how are you wiping? You got a lot
• 52:28
  of, like.
• 52:29
  >> Speaker B: You got toilet paper there. You're fine. You're good.
• 52:31
  >> Speaker A: There's a lot of residue.
• 52:32
  >> Speaker B: You're going to wash your hands anyway. You're good. You just take one rib
• 52:34
  and throw.
• 52:36
  >> Speaker A: It away and you wash. Oh, my gosh, you're good. This is
• 52:39
  beyond me. That's the wildest answer I've ever
• 52:42
  heard. Ribs. It's like the messiest thing you
• 52:44
  could possibly eat.
• 52:46
  >> Speaker B: Try it. Don't knock it. Just like I tried
• 52:49
  the chili and cinnamon, uh,
• 52:52
  roll thing. Yeah, but that's a recipe
• 52:54
  it was delightful. Your recipe from
• 52:57
  Midwestern.
• 52:58
  >> Speaker A: It's a midwestern delicacy.
• 53:01
  It's a midwestern delicacy.
• 53:03
  >> Speaker B: Great falls.
• 53:04
  >> Speaker A: Who told you?
• 53:07
  Um, have you ever
• 53:10
  performed a waffle stomp?
• 53:11
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yes, absolutely.
• 53:14
  >> Speaker A: Uh, even in my own shower, like your
• 53:17
  current shower at your house.
• 53:18
  >> Speaker B: Well, my wife isn't going to listen to this. Oh, yeah, no, she
• 53:21
  ain't going to hear this. Yes.
• 53:22
  >> Speaker A: If I've learned anything, if you're married and a
• 53:25
  female. Hey, if you're married and
• 53:28
  are a woman, let me know that you listen to this,
• 53:31
  because I don't think you. Um, but.
• 53:34
  So you have done this at
• 53:36
  Roxanne?
• 53:37
  >> Speaker B: Does Roxanne know heck
• 53:41
  mean? Okay, first of all, bidet.
• 53:44
  I don't know if you ever talk about bidets on here. I'm sure you have.
• 53:47
  >> Speaker A: It's incoming.
• 53:48
  >> Speaker B: Okay, so I'm interested in bidets. I don't
• 53:51
  know. I'm not saying that I want to feel that
• 53:54
  weird pressure, because it's different in America. Like, we're just used to wiping,
• 53:57
  but in other cultures, they're used
• 54:00
  to using the bidet to get themselves cleaner, which I'm a fan
• 54:03
  of being clean. Right. Instead of having a dirty bunghole all the
• 54:05
  time. Get it? So sometimes, especially in the
• 54:08
  morning, you go do your business, and instead
• 54:11
  of wiping, you just get in the shower.
• 54:14
  Right? I mean, you're washing stuff down, but.
• 54:16
  >> Speaker A: Do you ever poop in the shower?
• 54:18
  >> Speaker B: I have. Yes.
• 54:19
  >> Speaker A: What?
• 54:19
  >> Speaker B: Yes. Okay.
• 54:22
  So you go poop, and then all of a sudden, you're in the
• 54:25
  shower. You're, like, starting to clean yourself up, and then it hits you, and you.
• 54:27
  >> Speaker A: Just got to be like, well, just let it fly. I'm here, and they stomp it
• 54:30
  down.
• 54:30
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 54:31
  >> Speaker A: In your home shower.
• 54:32
  >> Speaker B: In my home shower.
• 54:33
  >> Speaker A: Any other showers?
• 54:34
  >> Speaker B: Uh, well, it's south Albany. Yeah. I'm picking some
• 54:37
  dunks there, some waffle stomping there.
• 54:40
  Not the only one.
• 54:43
  >> Speaker A: In, like, the locker room.
• 54:45
  >> Speaker B: In the locker room? Oh, yes.
• 54:46
  >> Speaker A: Was there other people?
• 54:47
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
• 54:48
  >> Speaker A: No way.
• 54:49
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. This is, like, usually after wrestling practice.
• 54:52
  >> Speaker A: What did they do? Were they just, like, appalled?
• 54:55
  >> Speaker B: Not really. Everybody
• 54:58
  pees in the shower, goes, yeah, that's fine. It
• 55:01
  just sometimes happens.
• 55:03
  >> Speaker A: How many times have you waffle stomped?
• 55:05
  >> Speaker B: Uh, if I had to
• 55:08
  guess, I mean, more than ten.
• 55:11
  >> Speaker A: Really?
• 55:11
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Uh, probably. Wow. Yeah.
• 55:14
  >> Speaker A: You're seasoned vet.
• 55:15
  >> Speaker B: Seasoned vet. Yeah. Absolutely.
• 55:17
  >> Speaker A: That is impressive.
• 55:18
  >> Speaker B: You got to get the good technique. Use a big toe to make sure you
• 55:21
  get it down the big holes.
• 55:23
  >> Speaker A: Okay. Use the quote big toe to get it down
• 55:26
  the big hole.
• 55:27
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Um, that's what she said.
• 55:29
  >> Speaker A: Yes. Have you ever heard of anybody tossing it, like, where they
• 55:32
  poop into their hand and then they reach out and toss it in the
• 55:34
  toilet?
• 55:36
  >> Speaker B: Uh, not that. No. But I mean,
• 55:39
  if you have ever soiled yourself, which I'm sure everybody
• 55:42
  has in the entire world.
• 55:43
  >> Speaker A: Absolutely.
• 55:44
  >> Speaker B: It gets on there. You just kind of, like, scoop it up with your hands and then toss it
• 55:47
  in the toilet. So that's kind of what you mean, but not
• 55:49
  necessarily. Just, like, deciding today I'm going
• 55:52
  to.
• 55:52
  >> Speaker A: Dial in the shower.
• 55:54
  >> Speaker B: Oh, no, I haven't heard that. Huh? Yeah. I didn't know that was a
• 55:57
  thing. That's, like, option three that people
• 55:59
  say. I guess that makes sense.
• 56:02
  >> Speaker A: But into your hand.
• 56:05
  >> Speaker B: When you think of, uh, the peptobismal commercials. What are they
• 56:08
  doing? Where are they putting that hand for diarrhea?
• 56:10
  >> Speaker A: I know.
• 56:11
  >> Speaker B: Got to catch it. So I guess I get it.
• 56:13
  >> Speaker A: Oh, man.
• 56:14
  >> Speaker B: I kind of get it.
• 56:15
  >> Speaker A: Don't know.
• 56:16
  >> Speaker B: I don't know if I do that. But, I mean, that's why the waffle stomp was
• 56:19
  invented. Yeah, stomp it down
• 56:22
  that drain, baby.
• 56:24
  >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that.
• 56:25
  >> Speaker B: Sorry. Michael wall.
• 56:27
  >> Speaker A: Hey, the church has some showers if you ever wanted
• 56:30
  to.
• 56:30
  >> Speaker B: Oh, good.
• 56:32
  >> Speaker A: We could do a tandem waffle stomping in the church showers.
• 56:35
  >> Speaker B: We'll put that on the cast. Don't worry, everybody.
• 56:37
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, that's future episode. We're going to
• 56:40
  tandem waffle stomp the church showers.
• 56:44
  Michael wall just walks in. What in the world?
• 56:50
  Trying to get it to go down. Stop it,
• 56:54
  man. Um,
• 56:57
  well, that is,
• 57:01
  uh. I can't believe you've done it that much.
• 57:03
  >> Speaker B: That's great.
• 57:06
  >> Speaker A: Um, do you have any more bathroom wisdom to
• 57:08
  share with folks before we close out
• 57:11
  the episode?
• 57:13
  >> Speaker B: Bathroom wisdom? Uh,
• 57:16
  if you haven't tried the wheel method, try it. It'll change your
• 57:18
  life.
• 57:19
  >> Speaker A: Try the wheel method.
• 57:20
  >> Speaker B: Try the wheel method. Um,
• 57:23
  just be confident in your stank. It's okay. Be
• 57:26
  confident in your stank. Yeah, just let it. Just be
• 57:28
  confident. Yeah, that was me. Own it. Yeah.
• 57:31
  >> Speaker A: Own your stank.
• 57:32
  >> Speaker B: Own your stank.
• 57:33
  >> Speaker A: I love it. I love it.
• 57:35
  >> Speaker B: From Chris Luckman.
• 57:36
  >> Speaker A: There you go. Uh, it might even be the title
• 57:39
  of the episode.
• 57:40
  >> Speaker B: Uh, own your stank.
• 57:41
  >> Speaker A: See, what people don't get is that's secretly what I'm doing when I say,
• 57:44
  do you have any words of wisdom for us? It's secretly
• 57:47
  me going, what the freak do I call this one?
• 57:49
  >> Speaker B: What do I call this episode? Own your stance.
• 57:51
  >> Speaker A: Own your stance. Yes. Uh, well, I'm going to
• 57:54
  close this out. Um, I have to
• 57:57
  say it every time, but I caught my dog pooping in
• 58:00
  the backyard, and I've got to watch him, but it's awkward to
• 58:03
  see, so I'm going to be that dog now as I close this out.
• 58:05
  >> Speaker B: Get a sty in your eye.
• 58:07
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. Um,
• 58:11
  you're trying to close it out.
• 58:14
  This brings us to the end of another episode. Thank you for listening,
• 58:17
  as always, you can follow us at
• 58:19
  privycast, um, wherever you get
• 58:22
  your social media. Chris, do you have social media? I don't even know.
• 58:25
  >> Speaker B: Uh, no, I don't.
• 58:26
  >> Speaker A: I know you have, like, something.
• 58:27
  >> Speaker B: Um, my wife has Facebook. We share Facebook.
• 58:29
  >> Speaker A: If you want to follow Chris's wife on Facebook,
• 58:32
  just look up Roxanne Luckman. I'm sure she'll
• 58:35
  love.
• 58:37
  >> Speaker B: Get it in there.
• 58:38
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, I'm sure she would love to have just all of the
• 58:41
  people that listen to this. Just come on over there,
• 58:44
  tell her.
• 58:45
  >> Speaker B: All the terrible stories. Great.
• 58:46
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, you can follow me. I'm at
• 58:49
  owlet seven. I'm out there doing my thing. Uh, God
• 58:52
  knows that's dangerous. Uh, you can send us an email,
• 58:55
  privycast@gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. Leave
• 58:58
  us a rating, a review. The five star options are preferred, and it
• 59:01
  just helps folks find the show and get all of that good
• 59:03
  bathroom wisdom.
• 59:05
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
• 59:06
  >> Speaker A: As always, we want to thank Kevin McLeod for
• 59:09
  the use of bar room ballet, and Pottington bear
• 59:12
  for whatever music we used of his. Thanks, Kevin and
• 59:15
  Pottington.
• 59:15
  >> Speaker B: Thanks, Kevin and Potdington. You guys rock.
• 59:18
  >> Speaker A: This has been another episode of privy. Thanks so much for joining
• 59:21
  us. And now, as always,
• 59:24
  don't forget to flush.