Latest / Diaries of Court Ladies of Old Japan / The Diary of Izumi Shikibu Part 1
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- 0:00Section seven of Diaries of Court Ladies of Old Japan. This is a LibriVox
- 0:07recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or
- 0:14to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Read by Serafina. Diaries of
- 0:24Court Ladies of Old Japan by Sarashina Munasaki Shikibu, etol. Translated by Annie
- 0:34Shepli Omori and Kotchidoi The Diary of Izumi Shikibu, Part one a d.
- 0:47One thousand two two one thousand three. Many months had passed in lamenting the
- 0:54world more shadowy than a dream. Already the tenth day of the Deutzia mouth
- 1:00was over. A deeper shade lay under the trees, and the grass on
- 1:06the embankment was greener. These changes, unnoticed by any, seemed beautiful to
- 1:12her, and while musing upon them, a man stepped lightly along behind the
- 1:18hedge. She was idly curious, but when he came towards her, she
- 1:23recognized the page of the late Prince. He came at a sorrowful moment,
- 1:29so she said, is your coming not long delayed? To talk over the
- 1:34past? Was inclined? Would it not have been? Presuming forgive me in
- 1:40mountain temples have been worshiping. To be without ties is sad, so wishing
- 1:46to take service again, and went to Prince Sochinomiya excellent. That prince is
- 1:52very elegant and is known to me. He cannot be as of your I
- 1:57e unmarried, so she said, and he replied no, but he is
- 2:02very gracious. He asked me whether I ever visit you now a days?
- 2:08Yes, I do, said I. Then breaking off this branch of Tachibana
- 2:13flowers, his Highness replied, give this to her, see how she will
- 2:17take it. The Prince had in mind the old poem The scent of Tachibana
- 2:23flowers in May recalls the perfumed sleeves of him who is no longer here.
- 2:30So I have come. What shall I say to him? It was embarrassing
- 2:36to return an oral message through the page, and the Prince had not written.
- 2:39Discontented yet, wishing to make some response, she wrote a poem and
- 2:45gave it to the page. That scent indeed brings memories, but rather to
- 2:51be reminded of that other would hear the cuckoo's voice. The Prince was on
- 2:58the veranda of his palace, and as the page approached him with important face.
- 3:01He led him into an inner room, saying what is it? The
- 3:07page presented the poem. The Prince read it and wrote this answer. The
- 3:14cuckoo sings on the same branch, with voice unchanged, that shall you know?
- 3:20His Highness gave this to the page and walked away, saying, tell
- 3:23it to no one. I might be thought amorous. The page brought the
- 3:29poem to the lady. Lovely it was, but it seemed wiser not to
- 3:34write too often, so did not answer. On the day following his first
- 3:39letter, this poem was sent to you. I betrayed my heart alas confessing
- 3:46brings deeper grief, lamenting days, feeling was rootless, but being unlearned in
- 3:53loneliness and attracted, she wrote an answer. If you lament to day,
- 3:59at this moment, your heart may feel for mine, for in sorrow,
- 4:02months and days have worn away. He wrote often, and she answered sometimes,
- 4:10and felt her loneliness a little assuaged. Again, she received a letter
- 4:15after expressing feelings of great delicacy. I would solace you with consoling words,
- 4:21if spoken in vain, no longer could be exchanged. To talk with you
- 4:28about the departed one how would it be for you to come in the evening
- 4:31unobtrusively. Her answer, as I hear of comfort, I wish to talk
- 4:38with you, But being an uprooted person, there is no hope of my
- 4:42standing upright. I am footless, meaning I cannot go to you. Thus
- 4:48she wrote, and His Highness decided to come as a private person. It
- 4:54was still daylight, and he secretly called his servant ukon Nozo, who had
- 4:59usually been the me by which the letters had reached the Prince, and said,
- 5:03I am going somewhere. The man understood and made preparations. His Highness
- 5:11came in a humble palanquin and made his page announce him. It was embarrassing.
- 5:16She did not know what to do. She could not pretend to be
- 5:20absent after having written him and answer that very day. It seemed too heartless
- 5:26to make him go back at once without entering, thinking I will only talk
- 5:30to him, She placed a cushion by the west door on the verandah and
- 5:35invited the Prince there. Was it because he was so much admired by the
- 5:41world that he seemed to her unusually fascinating, But this only increased her caution.
- 5:47While they were talking, the moon shone out and it became uncomfortably bright.
- 5:54He as I have been out of society and living in the shade.
- 5:59I am not used to such a bright place as this. It was too
- 6:02embarrassing. Let me come in where you are sitting. I will not be
- 6:09rude as others are. You are not one to receive me often, are
- 6:13you? No? Indeed, what a strange idea? Only to night we
- 6:18shall talk together? I think never again? Thus lightly talking the night advanced?
- 6:27Shall we spend the night in this way? He asked? The night
- 6:30passes, we dream no faintest dream. What shall remains to me of this
- 6:35summer night? She thinking of the world sleeves wet with tears, or my
- 6:43bed fellows calmly to dream sweet dreams. There is no night for that.
- 6:48He I am not a person who can leave my house easily. You may
- 6:54think me rude, but my feeling for you grows ardent, and he crept
- 6:59into the room, felt horribly embarrassed, but conversed together, and at daybreak
- 7:03he returned next day's letter, in what way are you thinking about me?
- 7:11I feel anxiety to you. It may be a commonplace to speak of love,
- 7:16but my feeling this morning to nothing. Can it be compared? She
- 7:21answered, whether commonplace or not? Thoughts do not dwell upon it. For
- 7:27the first time, I am caught in the toils. Oh, what a
- 7:31person? What has she done? So tenderly? The late Prince spoke to
- 7:36her. She felt regret, and her mind was not tranquil. Just then
- 7:42the page came, awaited a letter, but there was none. It disappointed
- 7:46her how much in love. When the page returned, a letter was given.
- 7:54The letter where my heart permitted even to feel the pain of waiting.
- 7:59It may be. To wait is lesser pain to night, not even to
- 8:03wait for The Prince read it and felt deep pity. Yet there must be
- 8:09reserve in going out at night. His affection for his princess is unusually light.
- 8:15But he may be thinking it would seem odd to leave home every night.
- 8:20Perhaps he will reserve himself until the morning. For the late Prince is
- 8:24over. It is a sign that his love is not deep. An answer
- 8:28came after nightfall. Had she said she was waiting for me with all her
- 8:33heart, without rest, towards the house of my beloved? Should I have
- 8:37been impelled when I think how lightly you may regard me? Her answer,
- 8:46why should I think lightly of you? I am a drop of dew hanging
- 8:50from a leaf, Yet I am not unrestful, for on this branch I
- 8:54seem to have existed from before the birth of the world. Please think of
- 9:00me as like the unstable dew, which cannot even remain unless the leaf supports
- 9:05it. His Highness received this letter. He wanted to come, but days
- 9:11passed without realizing his wish. On the moon hidden day, last day of
- 9:16the month, she wrote, if to day passes your muffled voice of April,
- 9:22oh cuckoo, where can I hear? She sent this poem, but
- 9:28as the Prince had many callers, it could only reach him the next morning.
- 9:33His answer, the cuckoo's song in spring is full of pain. Listen
- 9:39and you will hear his song of summer full throated from to day. And
- 9:45so he came at last, avoiding public attention. The lady was preparing herself
- 9:50for temple going and in the act of religious purification, Thinking that the rare
- 9:56visits of the prince betrayed his indifference, and supposing that he had come only
- 10:00to show that he was not without sympathy, she continued the night, absorbed
- 10:05in religious services. Talking little with him in the morning, the prince said,
- 10:11I have passed an extraordinary night. New is such feeling for me?
- 10:16We have been near, yet the night passed and our souls have not met.
- 10:22And he added, I am wretched. She could feel his distress and
- 10:26was sorry for him, and said, with endless sorrow. My heart is
- 10:31waited, and night after night is past, even without meeting of the eyelids.
- 10:37For me, this is not new. May second, the Prince wrote
- 10:45to her, are you going to the temple to day? When shall you
- 10:48be at home again? Answer? In its season? The time of gently
- 10:54falling rain will be over to night. I will drag from its bed.
- 10:58The root of Ayame went to the temple and came back after two or three
- 11:05days to find a letter from him. My heart yearns for THEE, and
- 11:09I wish to see THEE. Yet I am discouraged by the treatment of the
- 11:13other night. I am sad and ashamed. Do not suppose that I remain
- 11:18at home because my feeling is shallow. She is cold hearted, yet I
- 11:24cannot forget her. Time wipes out bitterness, but deepens longings, which to
- 11:28day have overcome me. Not slight is my feeling although her reply, are
- 11:37you coming scarcely believable are your words? For not even a shadow passes before
- 11:43my unfrequented dwelling. The Prince came as usual, unannounced. The lady did
- 11:50not believe that he would come at all, and, being tired out with
- 11:52the religious observances of several days, fell asleep. No one noticed the gentle
- 11:58knocking the gate. He, on the other hand, had heard some rumors,
- 12:05and, suspecting the presence of another lover, quietly retired. A letter
- 12:09came on the morning of the next day. I stood before your closed door,
- 12:15never to be opened, Seeing it became the symbol of your pitiless heart.
- 12:22I tasted the bitterness of love and pitied myself. Then she knew that
- 12:28he had come the night before, carelessly fallen asleep, and wrote back,
- 12:33how can you write the thoughts? The door of precious wood was closely shut.
- 12:37No way to read that heart. All is thy suspicion. Oh that
- 12:43I could lay bare my heart to you. The next night he wanted to
- 12:48come again, yet he was advised against it. He feared the criticism of
- 12:52the Chamberlain and Crown Prince, so his visits became more and more infrequance in
- 13:00the continuous rains. The lady gazed at the clouds and thought how the court
- 13:03would be talking about them. She had had many friends, now there was
- 13:09only the Prince. Though people invented various tales about her, she thought the
- 13:15truth could never be known to any. The Prince wrote a letter about the
- 13:20tedious rain. You are thinking only of the long rains forever falling everywhere.
- 13:26Into my heart also the rain falls long melancholy days. It was smile giving
- 13:35to see that he sees upon every occasion to write her a poem, And
- 13:39she also felt, as he did, that this was a time for sentiment.
- 13:43The reply unaware of the sadness in your heart, knowing only the rain
- 13:48and mind. And on another paper she wrote another poem. It passes the
- 13:56very sorrowful life of the world. By to day's long reign, it can
- 14:00be known the high water mark will be exceeded, Or it passes the very
- 14:07sorrowful life of the world. By to day's long meditation, it can be
- 14:11known the flood will be exceeded. Is it still long before ye come?
- 14:20The Prince read this letter, and the messenger came back with his answer.
- 14:24Helpless man I am weary even of life. Not to you alone, beneath
- 14:30the sky is rain and dulness. For us both it is a stupid world.
- 14:37It was the sixth day of the fifth month, rain not yet stopped.
- 14:41The Prince had been much more touched by her answer of the day before,
- 14:46which was deeper in feeling, And on that morning of heavy rain,
- 14:48he sent with much kindness to inquire after her. Very terrible was the sound
- 14:54of rain? Of what was I thinking? All the long night through,
- 15:00listening to the rain against the window. I was sheltered, but the storm
- 15:05was in my heart. The lady wrote thus to the Prince, and he
- 15:09thought not hopeless his poem. All the night through it was of you.
- 15:16I thought, how is it in a house where is no other to make
- 15:20rain forgotten? At noon, people were talking about the flooding of the Kamo
- 15:26River, and many went to see it. The Prince among them. He
- 15:30wrote, how are you at present? I have just come back from flood,
- 15:35seeing the feeling of my heart like the overflowing waters of the flood,
- 15:39but deeper my heart's feeling. Do you know this? She wrote toward me.
- 15:48The waters do not overflow. No depth lies there, though the meadow
- 15:52is flooded. Words are not enough in these words, she replied to him,
- 16:00And his Highness made up his mind to come and ordered perfrimuri for himself.
- 16:07Just then his old nurse, Chiju no Menoto came up. Where are
- 16:11you going? She said? People are talking about it. She is no
- 16:17lady of high birth. If you wish her to serve you, you may
- 16:21summon her here as a servant. Your undignified goings out are very painful for
- 16:26us. Many men go to her, and some awkward thing may happen.
- 16:32All those improper things are suggested by Ukonozo. He accompanied the late Prince.
- 16:37Also, if you wander out in the depths of night, no good can
- 16:41come of it. I will tell the Prime Minister of the persons who accompany
- 16:45you in these night visits. In the world, there may be changes.
- 16:51No one can tell what will happen tomorrow. The late Minister loved you much
- 16:56and asked the present one to show you favor. You must keep yourself from
- 17:00these indiscretions till worldly affairs are quite settled. The Prince said, where shall
- 17:07I go? I am so bored and am seeking temporary recreation. People are
- 17:12foolish to make much of it. He said this, although much hurt by
- 17:18the necessity for it. Besides that, he thought her not unworthy of him,
- 17:22and even wished to bring her to the palace as a concubine. On
- 17:26the other hand, he reflected that in that case, things even more painful
- 17:32to here would be said, and in his trouble of mind days were past.
- 17:37At last he visited her. I could not come in spite of my
- 17:41desires. Please do not think that I neglect you. The fault is in
- 17:45you. I have heard that there are many friends of yours who are jealous
- 17:49of me. That makes me more reserved. And so many days have gone
- 17:55by. The Prince talked gently and said, now come for this night only
- 18:03there is a hidden place no one sees. There I can talk with tranquil
- 18:07mind. The palanquin was brought near the verandah. She was forced to enter
- 18:12it and went without her own volition with unsteady mind. She kept thinking that
- 18:19people would know about it, but as the night was far advanced, no
- 18:23one found them out. The conveyance was quietly brought to a corridor where no
- 18:29one was and he got out. He whispered as the moon is very bright.
- 18:34Get down quickly. She was afraid, but hurriedly obeyed him. Here
- 18:41there is no one to see us. From this time. We will meet
- 18:45here at your honorable dwelling. I am always anxious about other men. I
- 18:49can never be at ease there. His words were gentle, and when it
- 18:55was dawn, he made her get into the balanquin, and said, wish
- 19:00to go with you. But as it is broad daylight, I fear people
- 19:03may think I have passed the night outside the court. He remained in the
- 19:07palace, and she, on her way home, thought of the strange going
- 19:11out, and of the rumors that would fly about. Yet the uncommonly beautiful
- 19:17features of the prince at dawn were lingering in her mind her letter. Rather
- 19:23would I urge your early return at evening than ever again make you arise at
- 19:29dawn. It is so sorrowful his reply to see you to parting in the
- 19:36morning dew, comparing it were better to come back in the evening. Unsatisfied,
- 19:41let us drive away such thoughts. I cannot go out this evening on
- 19:45account of the evil spirit AI. He might encounter it only to fetch you
- 19:51I venture. She felt distress because this sort of thing could not go on
- 19:56always. But he came with the same palanquin and said, hurry, hurry.
- 20:03She felt ashamed because of her maids, yet stole out into the carriage.
- 20:07At the same place as last night, voices were heard, so they
- 20:11went to another building. At dawn, he complained of the cock's crowing,
- 20:15and leading her gently into the palanquin, went out with her. On the
- 20:21way, he said, at such times as these always come with me,
- 20:26and she how can it always be so? Then he returned. Two or
- 20:33three days went by. The moon was wonderfully bright. She went to the
- 20:38veranda to see it, and there received a letter, What are you doing
- 20:45at this moment? Are you gazing at the moon? Are you thinking with
- 20:48me of the moon at the mountain's edge? In memory? Lamenting the short,
- 20:53sweet night, hearing the cock awake too soon more than usually please?
- 21:00Was that letter. For her thoughts were then dwelling on the bright moon night
- 21:03when she was unafraid of men's eyes at the Prince's palace. The answer that
- 21:11night the same moon shone down, thinking so I gaze, but unsatisfied is
- 21:17my heart and my eyes are not contented with moon seeing? She mused alone
- 21:22until the day dawned. The next night the prince came again, but she
- 21:27knew not of it. A lady was living in the opposite house. The
- 21:33princess attendant saw a palanquin stopping before it and said to his Highness, some
- 21:37one has already come. There is a palanquin. Let us retire, said
- 21:44the prince, and he went away. Now he could believe the rumors.
- 21:48He was angry with her, yet being unable to make an end of it,
- 21:52he wrote, have you heard that I went to you last night?
- 21:56It makes me unhappy that you don't even know that against the hill of pines,
- 22:02where the maiden pines for me, waves were high that I had seen
- 22:06yet to day's sight. O Ominnius. She received the letter on a rainy
- 22:12day. Oh unlooked for disaster, she suspected slanderous tongues. You only are
- 22:19my always waited for island. What waves can sweep it away? So she
- 22:26answered. But the Prince, being somewhat troubled by the sight of the previous
- 22:30night, did not write to her for a long time. Yet at last,
- 22:37love and misery in various shapes passed through my mind, and never rest.
- 22:42She wished to answer, but was ashamed to explain herself, so only
- 22:47wrote, let it be as you will come, or not yet to part
- 22:52without bitter feeling would lighten my sorrow. From that time he seldom sent letters.
- 23:00One moon bright night, she was lying with grieving thoughts. She envied
- 23:04the moon in its serene course, and could not refrain from writing to the
- 23:08prince. In her deserted house. She gazes at the moon. He is
- 23:15not coming, and she cannot reveal her heart. There is none who will
- 23:19listen. She sent her page to give the poem to ucon Nozzo. Just
- 23:26then the Prince was talking with others before the king. When he retired from
- 23:30the presence, ucon Nozzo offered the letter. Prepare the palanquin, he said,
- 23:37and he came to her. The lady was sitting near the verandah,
- 23:41looking at the sky and feeling that some one was coming, had had the
- 23:45soudare rolled down. He was not in his court robe, but in his
- 23:51soft every day ware, which was more pleasing to her eye. He silently
- 23:56placed his poem before her on the end of his van, saying, as
- 24:00your messenger returned too soon without awaiting my answer, She drew it towards her
- 24:07with her own. The prince seemed to think of coming in, but went
- 24:12out into the garden, singing, my beloved is like a dew drop on
- 24:17a leaf. At last he came nearer and said, I must go to
- 24:22night. I came secretly, but on such a bright night as this,
- 24:26none can escape being seen. Tomorrow I must remain within for religious duties,
- 24:33and people will be suspicious if I am not at home. He seemed about
- 24:38to depart when she oh that a shower might come, so another brightness,
- 24:45more sweet than the heavenly one, might linger here for a while. He
- 24:49felt that she was more amiable than others had admitted. Ah, dear one,
- 24:55he said, and came up for a while, then went away,
- 24:59saying, unwillingly urged by the moon on her cloudy track, his body is
- 25:04going out, but not his heart. When he was gone, she had
- 25:10the sudai rolled up and read his poem in the moonlight. She is looking
- 25:15at the moon, but her thoughts are all of me. Hearing this,
- 25:19it draws me to her side. How happy he seemed to have been,
- 25:25thinking her a worthless woman. But he has changed his mind, she thought.
- 25:30The prince on his side thought the lady would have some value for him
- 25:34when he wanted to be amused. But even while he was thinking it,
- 25:38he was told that the major general was her favorite and visited her in the
- 25:42daytime. Still others said, Yobukiyo is another of her lovers. The Prince
- 25:51was deterred by these words and wrote no more. One day, his Highness's
- 25:56little page, who was the lover of one of her maids, came to
- 26:00the house. While they were chattering, the page was asked if he had
- 26:03brought a letter. He answered no. One day my Lord came here,
- 26:10but he found a palanquin at the gate. From that time he does not
- 26:14write letters. Moreover, he has heard that others visit here when the boy
- 26:21was gone. This was told. She was deeply humiliated. No presumptuous thoughts
- 26:26nor desire for material to pendance had been hers only while she was loved and
- 26:32respected. Had she wished for intercourse, estrangement of any other kind would have
- 26:37been bearable. But her heart was torn asunder to think that he should suspect
- 26:42her of so shameful a thing. In the midst of mourning over her unfortunate
- 26:48situation, a letter was brought to her. I am ill and much troubled.
- 26:53These days of late I visited your dwelling, But alas at an unlucky
- 26:59time, I feel that I am unmanly. Let it be, I will
- 27:04not look toward the beach. The seaman's little boat has rowed away. Her
- 27:11answer, you have heard unmentionable things about me. I am humiliated, and
- 27:17it is painful for me to write any more. Perhaps this will be the
- 27:21last letter. Off the shore of Aimlessness, with burning heart and tripping sleeves,
- 27:27I am he who drifts in the seaman's boat, or off the shore
- 27:33of soude, with burning heart and stripping sleeves, I am he who drifts
- 27:38in the seaman's boat. It was already the seventh month. On the seventh
- 27:45day she received many letters from elegant persons in deference to the celestial lovers,
- 27:51but her heart was not touched by them. She was only thinking that she
- 27:55was utterly forgotten by the Prince, who had never lost such an opportunity to
- 28:00write to her. But at last there came a poem, alas that I
- 28:06should become like the herder God, who can only gaze at the weaving one
- 28:11beyond the river of heaven. The lady saw that he could not forget her,
- 28:15and she was pleased her poem, I cannot even look towards that shore
- 28:22where the herder god waits. The lover stars also might avoid me. His
- 28:30Highness would read, and he would feel that he must not desert her.
- 28:33Towards the moon hidden day end of the month, he wrote to her,
- 28:38I am very lonely. Please write to me sometimes, as to one of
- 28:42your friends. Her reply, because you do not wake, you cannot hear.
- 28:51The wind is sighing in the reeds. Ah nights and nights of autumn.
- 28:56The messenger who took the poem came back with one from him. Oh,
- 29:02my beloved, how can you think my sleep untroubled? Lately? Sad
- 29:07thoughts have been mine, and never sleep is sound the wind blows over the
- 29:11reeds. I will not sleep, but listen whether its sigh thrills my heart.
- 29:19After two or three days, towards evening, he came unexpectedly and made
- 29:25his palanquin draw into the courtyard, as she had not yet seen him in
- 29:30the daylight. He was abashed, he said, but there was no help
- 29:33for it. He went away soon and did not write for so long that
- 29:38anxiety began to fill her heart. So at last she sent wearily. The
- 29:45autumn days drag by from him, no message, boding silence. Sweet are
- 29:52man's promises, But how different is the heart? Then he wrote that though
- 29:59he never forgot her of late, he could not leave the palace. Though
- 30:03days pass and others may forget, I can never lose the thought that meeting
- 30:07in the evening of an autumn day, the lady was pitiable, having no
- 30:14one to depend on, and tried to sustain herself with the uncertain consolations of
- 30:18a life of sentiment. Reflection increased her wretchedness, and when the eighth month
- 30:26came, she went to Ishiyama Temple to revive her doleful spirit, intending to
- 30:30remain there for seven days. One day, the prince said to his page,
- 30:37it is a long time since I wrote. Here is a letter for
- 30:40her. The page replied, I went to her house the other day and
- 30:45heard that she had lately gone to Ishiyama Temple. Then it is already late
- 30:52in the day. Tomorrow morning, YE shall go there. He wrote a
- 30:56letter, and the page went to Ishiyama with it. Her mind was not
- 31:00in the presence of Buddha, but at home in the royal city. She
- 31:06was thinking that were she loved by him as at the beginning, there would
- 31:10have been no wandering like that. She was very sad, Yet sadness made
- 31:15her prey to the Buddha with all her heart. Perceiving that some one approached,
- 31:21she looked down, wondering who it might be. It was the Prince's
- 31:26page. As she had just been thinking of the prince, she hurriedly sent
- 31:30her maid to question him. The letter was brought and opened with more agitation
- 31:36than usual. It was as follows, you seem to be steeped in Buddha's
- 31:41teaching. It would have given me pleasure to have been informed of it.
- 31:47Surely I am not loved so deeply that I am a hindrance to your devotion
- 31:51to Buddha. Only to think of your calm makes me jealous. The poem
- 31:57do you feel that my soul wanders after you, passing across the barrier?
- 32:04Oh ceaseless, longing when shall you return? When she was in his neighborhood,
- 32:10he wrote, but seldom gratifying that he should send a letter so far.
- 32:16The answer the way of meeting. She was thinking that he had quite
- 32:22forgotten. Who can it be that is coming across the barrier? Or the
- 32:28way of Omi. She was thinking that he had quite forgotten. Who can
- 32:32it be that is coming across the barrier? You ask when I shall go
- 32:37back? It is as yet uncertain. On the Mount Nagara, my yearning
- 32:45is towards the Biwa lake. Uchi de Nohama does not lie towards Miyako or
- 32:52on the mount. While being my yearning is towards the open water. The
- 32:58beach of going out does not lie towards the royal city. The prince read
- 33:04her poems and said to the page, I am sorry to trouble you,
- 33:07but please go once more. His poem, I sought for you in the
- 33:14Osakayama, but though never forgetting you, my way was lost in the trackless
- 33:19valley. Or I sought for you in the amount of meeting, but though
- 33:25never forgetting you, my way was lost in the trackless valley. His second
- 33:31poem, being overwhelmed with sorrow, I wished to remain in retirement, but
- 33:38Omi no Yumi is beyond Uchi di Nohama. Or being overwhelmed with sorrow,
- 33:46I wished to remain in retirement, but the lake of meeting is beyond the
- 33:52beach of going out. She wrote back only poems Tears which could not be
- 34:00restrained at the barrier flow towards the Omi no yumi, or tears which could
- 34:07not be restrained at the barrier, flowed towards the lake of meeting. And
- 34:12on the margin she wrote, let me try you my own heart also come
- 34:17and tempt me towards the royal city. His highness had never thought of going
- 34:23so far to seek her, but he thought he must go to her,
- 34:28as he had received such a letter. He came, and they went back
- 34:31together. His poem in Felicitous Love, although entered into the way of eternal
- 34:39law, who was it? Came and tempted back to the Royal City.
- 34:45The answer out of the mountain, to the darker path, I wander because
- 34:51I met you once more towards the moon hidden day, a devastating wind blew
- 34:57hard, it rained, and she was even than usual when a letter was
- 35:01brought. She thought the Prince had not lost a fit occasion to inquire for
- 35:07her, and she could harbor no hard thoughts of him. His poem in
- 35:13sorrow, I gaze upon the sky of autumn, The clouds are in turmoil,
- 35:17and the wind is high. Her answer, A gentle wind of autumn
- 35:23makes me sad O day of storm, no way to speak of it.
- 35:30The prince thought in this he could read her true feeling. But days passed
- 35:34before his visit. It was after the tenth day of the ninth month he
- 35:39waked and saw the morning moon. It seemed a long time since he had
- 35:44seen her. He felt that she was gazing at this moon, so,
- 35:49followed by his page, he knocked at her gait. The lady was lying
- 35:53awake and meditating, lost in a melancholy which may have been due to the
- 35:58season. She wondered at the knock, but knew not who the visitor might
- 36:02be. She waked the maid lying beside her, who was in the sound
- 36:07sleep. The latter called out for the man servant when he went out,
- 36:14waking with difficulty. The knocking had seized, and the visitor had gone.
- 36:19The guest must have thought her a dull sleeper and been disheartened. Who was
- 36:23it likely to be? Surely one of like mind with herself. Her man,
- 36:30who had gone out after much rousing and seen no one, complained that
- 36:35it was only her fancy. Even at night, our mistress is restless,
- 36:40Oh, these unpeaceful persons. Thus he grumbled away, but went to sleep
- 36:45again. At once the lady got up and saw the misty sky. When
- 36:52morning came, she jotted down her thoughts aimlessly, and while doing it,
- 36:57received a letter. In the autumn night, the pale morning moon was setting
- 37:02when I turned away from the shut door. He must have thought her a
- 37:07disappointing woman. Yet she was happy to think that. He never failed to
- 37:13associate her with every changing season, and came to her door when he was
- 37:16attracted by the lovely sight of the sky. So she folded the notes she
- 37:22had just written and sent them to his Highness. The notes sound of wind.
- 37:30Wind blows hard, as if it were determined to blow away the lost
- 37:32leaves on the branch. It grows cloudy and threatening. Rain patters slightly.
- 37:39I am hopelessly desolate. Before the autumn ends, my sleeves will be all
- 37:45rotted with tears. The slow rains cannot do more to them. I am
- 37:51sad, but no one remarks it. The leaves of trees and plants changed
- 37:55day by day, and so affection in him. In anticipation, I feel
- 38:01the dreariness of the long winter rains. The leaves are pitifully teased by the
- 38:07winds. The drops on the leaves, which may vanish at any moment,
- 38:10how like they are to my own life. The sight of the leaves,
- 38:15ever, reminds me strangely of my own sadness. I cannot go within,
- 38:21but lie on the verandah, mayhap my end is not far off. I
- 38:27feel a vague anger that others are in comfortable sleep and cannot sympathize with me.
- 38:32Just now I heard the faint cry of a wild goose. Others will
- 38:37not be touched by it, but I cannot endure the sound. How many
- 38:42nights alas sleepless only the calls of the wild geese. Let me not pass
- 38:49the time in this way, I will open the shutter and watch the moon
- 38:52declining towards the western horizon. It seems distant and serenely transparent. There is
- 39:00over the earth. Together comes the sound of the morning bell and the crowing
- 39:05of cocks. There will be no moment like this in past or future.
- 39:10I feel that the color of my sleeves is new to me. Another with
- 39:15sane thoughts may be gazing at the pale morning moon of the long night month,
- 39:21no sight is more sorrowful. Now there comes a knocking at the gate.
- 39:27What does it mean? Who passes the night with thoughts like mine?
- 39:32There is one of like mind with me, musing upon the morning moon,
- 39:37but no way to find him out. She had meant to send the last
- 39:43poem only to the Prince, but when she learned that it was His Highness
- 39:46himself who had come, she sent all. The Prince read and did not
- 39:51feel that his visit had been in vain. If she also had been awake
- 39:54and sadly dreaming, he wrote promptly, and the letter presented while she was
- 40:00gazing aimlessly. She opened it anxiously and read. First poem, She thinks
- 40:08her own sleeves only are wet, but another's also are rotting. Second poem,
- 40:16Do life soon to vanish away? Hangs long suspended in forgetfulness of self
- 40:22on the long blooming chrysanthemum flower. Third poem, Sleepless the call of wild
- 40:30geese on the cloud track. Yet the pain is from your own heart.
- 40:36Fourth poem. There may be another with thoughts like mine, who is gazing
- 40:42toward the sky of the morning moon. Fifth poem, Although not together,
- 40:49you too were gazing at the moon, believing that I whence this morning to
- 40:53your gait alas oh that gait heart to be opened. So her writing had
- 41:00not been uselessly sent towards the moon. Hidden day, she had another letter.
- 41:07After excusing himself for his late neglect, he wrote, I have an
- 41:13awkward thing to ask you. There is a lady with whom I have been
- 41:17secretly intimate. She is going away to a distant province, and I want
- 41:22to send her a poem which will touch her heart deeply. Everything you write
- 41:28touches me, so please compose a poem for me. She was unwilling concededly
- 41:34to carry out his wishes, but she thought it too prudent to refuse him,
- 41:38so she wrote with the words, how can I satisfy you her poem?
- 41:45In the tears of regret? Your image will linger long, even after
- 41:50chilly autumn has gone by. It is painful for me to write a heartfelt
- 41:54letter in your place. And on the margin she wrote, leaving you,
- 42:00where can she go? For me? No other life? The prince wrote
- 42:07back, very good poem is all that I can say. I cannot say
- 42:12that you have expressed my heart Forsaking me. She wanders away, so let
- 42:17it be. Let me think of you, the unexcelled one. There is
- 42:22not another. Thus I can live on. End of Section seven,