Latest / Twin Mom Life / Advocating for the Twin Birth You Want and Laughing Through the Chaos with Alex Anguish

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Advocating for the Twin Birth You Want and Laughing Through the Chaos with Alex Anguish · Twin Mom Life

• Jessielee Sittig: Hello and welcome to the Twin Mom Life podcast. I'm your host, Jess. I created this podcast to help build community, connection, and most importantly, friendships among moms of multiples. Being a twin mom can be amazing and magical. That twin bond is unlike anything I've ever witnessed, but it can also be isolating and overwhelming. I'll be chatting with other twin moms, diving deep into the twin experience. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy twin mom life to listen along. I hope this podcast shed some light on a topic that's been on your heart and gave you more confidence as a twin mama. If you know a twin mom, please send this her way. If you like what you heard today, please subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. Check out the show notes to be connected with today's guest and get discount codes for brands I love. See you next Thursday. Until then. giving advice on what works for us so you don't have to learn the hard way. Juggling two babies at the same time is challenging, but I'm confident we can learn from each other and figure out how to raise these babies together. Hey, welcome to the podcast. How are you doing? ⁓ You are made for this. Alex Anguish: Good, how are you? Jessielee Sittig: I'm good. Okay, so today we have Alex. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Alex Anguish: ⁓ My name is Alex. I am a mom to three beautiful children, Hayes, and Charlie. ⁓ my oldest. She's about to turn six. ⁓ my boys ⁓ about to turn four and their names are Hayes and Charlie. And ⁓ just regular schmugler mom, twin mom. So ⁓ yeah, like to ⁓ laugh, is probably how Jesse and I got connected because I like to take... the chaos in parenthood and make it funny. So, yeah. Jessielee Sittig: Absolutely. And I love your Instagram and it is super funny and just provides like comic relief that all moms, all twin moms need. So, and can you say your handle where people can find you? Alex Anguish: Thank you. For sure, for sure. So Instagram is Alex Anguish underscore. Now it's not English or Anglish. It's like agony, like the word anguish. You'll never hear that last name again, I promise. So it'll be one you'll never forget. Always remember. ⁓ But Anguish underscore is my Instagram handle. Yeah. Jessielee Sittig: Perfect. And before we hop into it, I know we are talking offline that we both have been a little under the weather. ⁓ but I always ask every mom what they did to fill their own cup. So I don't know if you've done that today or recently since you've been sick and your kiddos have been sick, but anything planned to fill your cup? Alex Anguish: Yeah. Well, two things, I kind of semi already did it. And as a mom, but also a twin mom, I've come to learn filling my cup doesn't have to be major. It can be really minor. something as simple as waking up 30 minutes before the kids, not too long, because that can get a little overwhelming. But 30 minutes before the kids, just to have a cup of coffee that's actually warm. And then just actually think for myself before I start getting asked 10 million questions or fighting, you know, waking up on the wrong side of the bed. So 20 to 30 minutes before I did that this morning, also being sick, so I'm very proud of myself. So I got to do that. And then I could really give my kids the best sick version of myself that I could do. But with that said, I dropped the ball on any St. Patrick's Day fun at home. So. I told them that he has all day to come to the house. So I sent them off to school and I'm going to run to Target to get a couple of fun goodies for the kids. So I will be doing that today and getting stuff like that to keep the magic going around the house really, really does fill my cup being a mom. So I'll be going to do that today later. So yeah. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ that's very fun. I don't really have anything planned for St. Patrick's Day, but we are planning on making brownies with ice cream and I have green dye. So we're going to make the ice cream green and everyone's very excited about that. And everyone is wearing green from head to toe. So the spirit, the spirit is there for St. Patrick's Day. Alex Anguish: Love that. Yep. Me too. Jessielee Sittig: I love it. I actually had a green vest on, but I took it off because I was hot. So I will tell you though, my daughter was very disappointed in my outfit choice and was like, why are you not wearing green from head to toe? And I guess I just don't have like a ton of green stuff. So yeah, gosh, come on, mom. I know she's really feeling like that today. Alex Anguish: Thank you. Yeah, I'm getting a little hot. You know what? Step it up. In her eyes. Step it up. What a failure, right? You are. you Jessielee Sittig: Okay, I will tell you for filling my cup, I totally agree with you. I love to wake up early, have my coffee, have some peace and quiet before the chaos. And I did the opposite today. And that filled my cup because I'm still like getting over the sickness. I have been sick for like 11 days. It was wild. It was like the worst body aches ever and then kind of turned into like cough and congestion. So Alex Anguish: Hmm? Jessielee Sittig: that's still kind of lingering. So my voice, think, sounds a little bit different, but that's okay. So my kids are on spring break this week. So we were like, we have nowhere to like get up and get ready for. So I slept in until 7 45. It was glorious. It was glorious, glorious. And like I woke up to my daughter coming in our room, which never really happens, but it was kind of a nice way to just Alex Anguish: ⁓ my gosh, that sounds amazing. Jessielee Sittig: like get a little extra sleep. So. Alex Anguish: I love that so much. And just to preface, when I wake up early, it doesn't mean I'm waking up and smiling in butterflies. No, I'm cursing out myself every split second that that alarm is telling me to wake up, because I hate waking up early or just, it's brutal when I have to wake up and the sun's not out and it's dark still. To preface, I'd sore at myself for probably a solid minute. And then by the time I actually got my butt over to the bathroom sink, I was awake. So it was not easy, but then once I was out into the living room and kitchen, it was all worth it. Jessielee Sittig: It always feels good. It's always, I'll probably do that like the rest of the week, but I feel like as I'm still healing and stuff, the extra sleep is just so key. Yeah, it's been really nice. Yes. Yeah. So I'm trying to listen to my body and get some extra Z's over here. So, um, okay. Well, thank you for sharing. So I'd love to talk about family dynamics. We have a very similar setup. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. needed. Listen to your body. Mm-hmm. Jessielee Sittig: It's actually very similar. So we both have older daughters. My daughter just turned six and your daughter turned six in like two weeks. So fun and so cute. Our little COVID babies. ⁓ my Lord. That is the truth. That was so hard. Okay. Real quick. How was your postpartum? Awful. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Our little COVID babies. Post-pharmacy was a trip. It was a trip. My husband works in orthopedic surgeries and he's a rep. But with orthopedic, that is a scheduled surgery. It's essentially non-essential. Emergency surgeries had to go. So all of those types of surgeries had to stop. And so for eight weeks, he had unpaid leave, unfortunately. But. Jessielee Sittig: Mm, okay. Unpaid, that kinda sucks, but at least he was home with you. Alex Anguish: Yeah. But it was him, me, and our daughter. then at the same time, my grandma's health was spiraling, and she was literally in and out the hospital. so that time with COVID, so my mom had to be down in Southern California with her. So my family and are so oddly close, very close, that it was the end of the world that my mom couldn't be there, that my sisters couldn't be there, that my sister-in-law or my brother couldn't be there. such a bad time emotionally for me because I was like, am pushing a watermelon out of me. How can no one be here and the world is shutting down? And so that was like a weird time, was literally having her and then eight weeks of nobody seeing her. But then it was like, wait, this is so nice. Like this was like a solid eight weeks of like bliss of just the three of us to just have. It was like beautiful. And then, but sad at the same time because I like couldn't show the world my first ever child. It was like so sad, but. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Sure. Alex Anguish: you know, hindsight, you look back, you're like, ⁓ funny times, but when you're so hormonal, it's like brutal, you know? How about yours? Jessielee Sittig: Yes, I know. Well, so since my daughter is slightly older, her birthday is February 20th, we got lucky and my birth was completely normal. Like my mom was in the room. Obviously my husband was in the room. My mother-in-law was in the room. Once I had the epidural, I was like, come one, come all, like everyone come in. So like that was a totally normal experience. And then when she was three weeks old, Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah, for sure. Jessielee Sittig: that's when everything shut down. And my husband has a very different job now, but at the time he, he was considered an essential worker and did still work and worked like 12 hour days. And he like drove like a big semi truck and handled like heavy machinery. So he could not be sleep deprived. And our daughter did not sleep. used to, and I think she, she was never like diagnosed with colic, but I think she had that, like she had some kind of Alex Anguish: you Jessielee Sittig: stomach issues or something because we used to call her her name is Kaia and we used to call her Kriah. It was crazy. like, I feel like just like you, I'm like pretty extroverted and not having like any help and having my husband be gone for that much and then sleep in the guest room at night. I was just alone a lot. So yeah, and I had pretty bad postpartum depression. Alex Anguish: Yeah. Yeah, very hard. So hard. Ugh, that's awful. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ so that just, that was like the cherry on top. So, yeah. Yeah. So it was a wild ride, but I will say having that experience, I like learned a lot from it. I did not have postpartum depression with the boys, which I was shocked. I was kind of like preparing myself for that, but I was surrounded by my village. Like my Alex Anguish: Add on, right? What else do women get? Gosh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Jessielee Sittig: my mom and I live on the same property, which we didn't before. So she's so helpful. I'm an only child. So I'm also when you were like, I'm so close with my family. I'm like me too. And like my neighbors brought food and it was a very different postpartum. Even though it was hard with two babies, I just like had that community and that support that I did not have with my daughter. So. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. temperature. Mm-hmm. Totally get that. Jessielee Sittig: So tell me more about your boys. So you also have identical twin boys. Same. Alex Anguish: Yes. I know I love that. So what's funny is reverse back to ⁓ time we started talking about getting pregnant for our second. Wesley's in bed. We're making a late dinner. We're joking around in the kitchen. ⁓ I said, ⁓ look at some old wives' tales on how to get pregnant with twins. And he was like, swear. And he was like, Jessielee Sittig: No you didn't! Alex Anguish: Okay, yeah, yeah. So we're looking at this like one of the websites and it said there was like five things and I can't remember all of them but it was like different demographics of higher chances of getting pregnant twins. So like one was age and I was like I think it was 30. Your chances go up and I was like if we try to have a second after I'm 30 which is in August. All right, so we'll start August 13th. ⁓ my gosh, how funny. Jessielee Sittig: When's your birthday? ⁓ mine's August 8th. Alex Anguish: 8 8 I'll remember that. So I was like okay we'll get to August and we'll start trying. So I was like check and then it was like height had something to do with it and I can't remember fully if it was like if you're taller or shorter it was like it was good for me but like I'm relatively tall I'm 5 8 5 9 and I can't remember if that was in it for me but then it was like Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, I've heard that before that if you're taller, have you're more likely to have twins. Alex Anguish: Okay, so then maybe that was maybe I was two for two there and then it was ethnicity I think Hispanic culture leads in twins, I think don't quote me on that I think And then I think I was third in the list of ethnicity and I was like dang it I was like, okay Well, we're two for three and then we like kept going down the line So literally we're like diving deep into all these wives tales and like other positions are there and my husband's just Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Alex Anguish: like rolling his eyes laughing, right? We're like just cackly making dinner. So that happens. So then we eventually get pregnant. And Sunday before my Monday, eight week first ultrasound, I'm ⁓ at my mom's house and we're going through her garage and she's cleaning out some stuff. Now, might I add you, my mom has had seven grand, six grandchildren prior to this. So she has these little boppy frog chairs and she has two of them. Jessielee Sittig: Ta! Alex Anguish: And she's like, hey, do you want one of these? I know you got rid of Wesley's. I was like, yeah, I'll take it. And she goes to toss the other one to the donation storage. And I go, actually, hold on to that because if I find out I'm having twins tomorrow, I'll need two. And she looks at me, she goes, oh my gosh, don't joke like that. And I was like, I know, right? Less than 12 hours later, my obstetrician says, well, it looks like you're having two. my, like, might I add, it's still like COVID protocol. Okay, so like you're masked up in the doctor's office. My husband is a very stoic person, doesn't speak much. And he's masked up. All I see is us looking at a TV screen. And she goes, yep, and I see two circles. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Mm-hmm. Alex Anguish: And I'm thinking, and I look, I'm thinking no way. And I look at her and when she first says that, I, pardon my French, I said, ⁓ my God, shut the fuck up. And then I went, ⁓ my gosh, I'm so sorry. I just swore at my doctor. And she just starts laughing and she goes, no, I'm not joking. There's two. And I looked at Ben and there were tears in his eyes. And I'm thinking, okay, okay, is he gonna run or is he, is he just taking this all in? Jessielee Sittig: you ⁓ it's so sweet. Alex Anguish: with all jokes, but like we were, she gave us a moment and we just stood there in the office and hugged and he just was like, well, our budget just tripled. So here we go. It was wild. But yeah, sorry. Yeah. I manifested it. I manifested twins. Everyone in my life, when I have a hard day, they're like, you manifested this. This is your problem. So. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. ⁓ my gosh. That's also wild. Okay, so So did you grow up wanting twins? Or where did that come from when you were wanting another baby? Like, ⁓ how do we get twins? Alex Anguish: so my mom miscarried twins in between my sister and I. So there was always a thought like, ⁓ that'd be cool to have twins. But I never like wanted it. There was never like a, ⁓ I would love to have twins. That was never a thought in my mind. Even after, no, even before we had Wesley, I never thought that. Then after I had Wesley, I was like, well, how fun would it be to have twins kind of knock it out? And my husband's like, well, you know, when do you think just two kids would be good? And I'm like, no, I want three to four kids. And he was like, Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Alex Anguish: no, I'll settle on two and I go, oh, just watch, I'm gonna manifest twins and I'm gonna get my way and I'm gonna get three kids. And lo and behold, I manifested it. But lo and behold, after we had the twins, I pushed them off to the vasectomy doctor, so, to the urologist. So three is good with me, I'm good. Jessielee Sittig: You sure did! ⁓ yeah, absolutely. Well, okay, we used to always say, like I said, I'm an only child. I was okay with having one, like especially after how hard our postpartum was. I was like, maybe we should just stick with one. This is crazy. And then when she was like two and a half, we were like, okay, for sure one, maybe two, never three. That's what we used to say. And I just, ⁓ yeah, and I just feel like God's like, ha ha, I'll give you what you need, lady, you know? And that is... Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Mmm, opposite of me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Jessielee Sittig: absolutely what happened it's so wild okay so you were talking about the ultrasound that you guys saw two circles so do you guys have di identical twins? no okay what kind of twins are they? okay Alex Anguish: That's wild. Ugh. Mm-hmm. Mm-mm. We had, we had MoDi. So, individual sacs shared a placenta. So, which with the three options of twins, we were in the middle. So, higher risk, not the highest risk. So, me and the high-risk obstetrician were very familiar with one another. So, yeah, which a lot. ⁓ know, I... Jessielee Sittig: Got it. and your pregnancy was good. Alex Anguish: I truly think my body was built to have children because I kid you not, I had the easiest pregnancy with my daughter. I worked the way up until the day I had And then with the boys, ⁓ I would say compared to other twin pregnancies, I had a very easy pregnancy. Was not easy compared to a singleton. ⁓ It was It was challenging. I had to leave work a month early, started leave early. ⁓ had all the aches and pains, but it felt way, ⁓ worse than with my daughter. But like, I had to give myself grace that that was just twins. But the actual delivery, hold my hand when I say this, was 10 times easier than my daughter's. ⁓ I am proud of myself. And this is like, Jessielee Sittig: Really? Alex Anguish: This is not the whole like you get a badge of honor for getting an epidural or whatnot. Like it has nothing to do with that. I just, I had such a long labor with my daughter and I'm so proud of myself. I was a self advocate and I told my delivering OB, said, I want to try vaginal. And she was like, ⁓ I don't know. This is probably good for twin. mothers to be, you're going to have your delivering OB probably telling you one thing, and you might have your high-risk OB telling you maybe something slightly different. And that is super frustrating, like super frustrating. My delivering OB was saying, no, we're going to cesarean you. My high-risk OB was saying, no, you've had a successful vaginal prior, they've been hitting all their markers, they've been head down for eight weeks. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Alex Anguish: you should try. So that was really taxing, being one, hormonal, and two, you're like, just want everyone safe, but like, I would love to try to go vaginal and not have to cut my stomach open and then take care of three kids. So OB, will say, she didn't love that. She did not love it. ⁓ But ⁓ was a self-advocate. You have to advocate for yourself because honestly, like, Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. For sure. Yeah. Alex Anguish: me telling her that and kind of putting my foot down of like, I'm not trying to get anyone... I'm not going to sit here and try to pretend that labor and delivery is all thumbs up. No, it's a very scary time, but I want to try. And then I'm absolutely going to get an epidural. I will absolutely push in an OR setting, which is what's required. I will do everything what you need in case you have to cut me open. I just want to try. Let me try. I pushed those puppies out two minutes flat. Jessielee Sittig: Are they two minutes apart? Alex Anguish: few minutes apart on the dot. Jessielee Sittig: That's impressive for a vaginal delivery, because I feel like you hear that in like C-sections and they weren't ready. I also had my boys vaginally and it was, it was, I mean, a big part of it was having a singleton first because I had confidence. Like I Alex Anguish: Yeah! Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah! That's fun! I agree, 100 % agree. Jessielee Sittig: I did that. It was overall a pretty good experience where I feel like if I didn't have a baby first or had a C-section first or had the twins first and my doctor was telling me these kinds of things and I probably would have been scared and would have chosen the C-section. But I totally agree with you. I was scared of a C-section to take care of my toddler and twin babies while recovering from a full abdominal surgery. So sure. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's like if that had to happen, absolutely, get everyone out. We want to be safe. But it was just that like, gosh, just something, something in my heart was saying, try. Try. And I had someone with a medical license backing me with that conscience. So like that was my high risk OB. So just reminding women that like, Jessielee Sittig: Of course. Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Alex Anguish: know, the medical field is not perfect. And that was really taxing for me I had two medical professional telling me two different things, and that was super frustrating. Jessielee Sittig: Well, and you know what's hard too is like the OB who is more pushing a C-section that might have been based on her abilities and her comfort level, not what your body is capable of or what's safe. Because I remember finding out it's twins and then like you're processing and then you're kind of like spiraling. Like, and you're thinking of all these things. And one of the first things I thought of is, man, I really don't want to see section. And I remember like, Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. I agree. Mm-hmm, 100%. Mm. Jessielee Sittig: you know, my first ultrasound was with like an ultrasound tech. So then I was going to go meet with our OB after and I, this is like a whole new OB. Like I had my daughter in a different state. So I'm like, I don't really know this OB very well. She's new to me. So when I go in the room, I'm like kind of ready to fight. Like if it's safe, I want to try to have these babies vaginally. And she was so open to it. And well, then it gave me confidence cause I'm like, okay, Alex Anguish: I love that. Mm-hmm. Jessielee Sittig: I obviously would not try to do anything if it wasn't safe, but this is like our first appointment. I think I was like, you know, seven weeks or something. And she was like, yeah, as long as she had like pretty minimal requirements, like I did have to deliver in the OR, same thing. I was able to labor in a regular ⁓ And then when it was go time, I wheeled into the OR ⁓ and that was fine. That was pretty overwhelming. Alex Anguish: Hmm? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Jessielee Sittig: honestly, because there was a there were so many people in that room. Wild. was like, to to have everybody. ⁓ easily. And like, they asked me ahead of time if I cared if like a nursing student watched or whatever. And I said no, in retrospect, maybe I would have said actually, I'd prefer if people didn't look because the sheer amount of people because then I feel like people Alex Anguish: So many. There's like 15 people. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's intimidating. Jessielee Sittig: It was a lot and I also didn't know, I don't know if you had the same experience, I did not know that I was going to be prepped for a C-section. Alex Anguish: ⁓ she told, well, I think that was because we had a very pushing, maybe a very trial-like conversation. It was, okay, so if B flips, I need you to be aware that we are going to have to open you up. And I was like, understood. And she said that's worst case scenario, is if we get A out vaginally, and then, so now you're gonna heal two different places. And I go... I understand the risk I am putting myself at. And so maybe that's reckless. I don't know. But I had this gut intuition that like I could do it. Yeah, and to try. So yeah. My husband laughs. He's like, well, he's like, well, she pretty much like pulled Charlie out. I'm like, well, I don't care how he got out. He got out eventually. So my husband laughs about that. He's like, ⁓ I mean, yeah, you pushed Charlie out, but she kind of went and grabbed him too. Jessielee Sittig: to try. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Alex Anguish: I'm like, well, we did it, so it's fine. Jessielee Sittig: And they're like, so? That's fine. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, getting prepped for the C-section, he was putting the iodine on my stomach and I was like, ⁓ legit. And then they put the drape on me and I'm like, ⁓ no, no, no, I'm not having a C-section. I'm not having a C-section. And I don't know, was your husband in the garb, in the... Alex Anguish: ⁓ I didn't get that. Oh yeah, my mom and my, it was so sweet. didn't, I told my mom, you're probably not going to go in the OR. I'm so sorry. And my OB walked in and threw a bunny suit at Ben and my mom and we were like, oh my gosh. And she's like, I get to go in, oh my gosh, I get to go in. And so that was really a really sweet moment. And so both my mom and Ben were there, but yeah, full bunny. And I come from health and so those, we're very normal. So to be in a bunny suit, that's what we call them, the bunny suits. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ that's very sweet. That was overwhelming for me too because you know when we had my daughter my husband was like wearing regular clothes. So yeah in the delivery room so that was all crazy but I feel like my doctor The things that she was like this has to happen is baby A had to be head down. She did not care about baby B because ⁓ my ⁓ Waylon was my baby B. He was transverse. Alex Anguish: For sure. In your delivery room. Yeah. Hmm. ⁓ wow. Jessielee Sittig: and like he must have just like flipped or I don't know if she helped flip him or if he flipped naturally like once Wyatt was out. And then they had to be, I did deliver in the OR which we just talked about. And then they had to be within a certain percentage of each other's weight, which I feel like is probably ⁓ to a certain point. Like I don't remember what that's called, but they. ⁓ Alex Anguish: Right. Right, right, right. Jessielee Sittig: like it's not like one baby could be six pounds and one baby could be four pounds or something like they had to be within a certain ratio of each other's weight. So that was a wild experience though. Alex Anguish: Hmm, interesting. Jessielee Sittig: did boys have any NICU time? Alex Anguish: So Charlie my B, baby B had NICU time. He but he was only in there for like six days. I blame it on, ⁓ it's I had a really tough ⁓ experience our OB office with ⁓ the twins. Yeah ⁓ and do remember that shot you get that helps expand their lungs but it's a two-step shot? Did you ever get that? Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. I didn't do it like the steroid shot. Alex Anguish: I don't remember what it's called, but it's like the last thing, you do in pregnancy to help develop lungs, because that's the last thing that develops. Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, we didn't do it. And one thing I forgot to ask you, what week did you have them? Alex Anguish: I had them at 35 and six days. So I was a day short of 36 weeks. Jessielee Sittig: That might be why, like every time I made it to 37 weeks and I was large and in charge girl, was big, but every week that was like a, we would talk about whether they needed that for lung development or not. And then we, I ended up not getting it. So they had that you had to have that. Alex Anguish: ⁓ wow. Okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I went into labor. Like, I didn't have to be induced. Like, I've never both pregnancies, I didn't have to be induced. My water broke with my daughter. And then I started contracting with the boys. Jessielee Sittig: Ow. Alex Anguish: Yeah, so I had to go get that two-step lung shot for them. they scheduled me on a Friday. I didn't know it two steps. They scheduled me on a Friday. I walk in, and they say, OK, so are you going to get the second shot at the ER tomorrow? And I said, what are you talking about? No. And they go, oh, well, it's a two-step shot that you need within 24 hours of each other. And I was like, why would you schedule me on a Friday for that then? No, I'm not going to the ER to do this. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. That's so frustrating. Alex Anguish: So then I had to wait till Monday. They said, OK, we'll get you in on Monday. And we are coming up till minutes, right? are like times wasting. So Monday I get the first shot. Monday going into Tuesday, I start laboring. So I didn't get the second shot. And so I blame that Charlie wasn't able to get that second shot, get the benefit from that second shot. So he had to go into the NICU for his lungs. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ my gosh. Okay. Alex Anguish: So it's not like I blame you, just happens, stuff happens, it's the medical field, but I'm just like, what are we doing? Like, put your heads together a little bit. I know you have a lot of people, like you have a lot of people to care for, but like, why would you schedule me for that on a Friday? So, yeah, yeah. So, and then my OB, she actually like. Jessielee Sittig: For sure, they like, they drop the ball. Yeah, that's frustrating. Alex Anguish: the day I said, I'm not making it to my appointment. I think I need to meet you at the hospital. She canceled her whole day of patients just to be next to me. And then I'm going to touch back about the vaginal delivery. I was so gung-ho about trying. ⁓ OB was nervous about it. And I think I challenged her a little bit. So I hope. I helped her in that sense. And she canceled her whole day. She showed up. We delivered. Everything was successful. I got to the hospital at 9.30. I had the boys at 2. And she was literally gone by 2.45. But she didn't show up till like 1 o'clock. And she looked at me and said, wow, I don't remember the last time I was able to go home for dinner ⁓ after a twin delivery. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ wow. Alex Anguish: and made a comment like that and I was like, ⁓ interesting. And then I had three individual nurses come up to me and said, one was like 15 years nursing experience, one was five years and one was, I think maybe like seven or eight years. a couple of different lengths of nursing times. And all of them said that that was their first vaginal delivery they've ever seen, successful vaginal delivery they've ever seen. How crazy is that? Jessielee Sittig: Wow. I think, I mean, it's amazing. And I think it's just so common that when doctors hear, ⁓ twins, that means C-section. And I think it's good to push the envelope and say, does it have to be? Because if it's safe and I'm comfortable and you're comfortable as the doctor, then let's try this vaginally. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And you know what? Like, maybe my doctor would have fired me if she didn't feel comfortable in that. And I would have had to respect that. But she didn't, and she went through it. And she never once told me she was uncomfortable. I could just feel it, that she wasn't happy, because I think her bread and butter was to do a cesarean. And to me, I'm like, well, no, it's not what I want. So it's not what I want to try. Jessielee Sittig: Mm. Alex Anguish: It might end up that way, but that's not what I want to try. Jessielee Sittig: Sure. Well, and I think what you said earlier is really key. a lot, I'm sure every twin mom that has had a vaginal delivery is scared of having one vaginally and then having an emergency C-section for the second one. Like that was a big fear of mine, but it wasn't a big enough fear to stop me from trying. And it all happened pretty quick. Like your boys are two minutes apart. That's amazing. Mine are seven. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Yep. For sure. Yeah. Okay. Jessielee Sittig: So, okay, I would love to hear your experience on this, because I don't know if I've talked about this on the podcast, actually. So what happened after you had baby A? Because they put Wyatt on my chest, and I was like, ⁓ I want to love on my baby, but I need to push out my other baby right now. So I had to like awkwardly ask the nurse to take him off my chest. Alex Anguish: ⁓ gosh, that's funny. Cause you were a little panicked. like, Hey, got two, I got two jobs to do, not just one. I'll get to him. Jessielee Sittig: There was like so much I'm like cuz my boys are die-die so I'm like I need to birth my one son and then my second son and then the placentas and You know, this is really weird but with my daughter just with the emotions and everything I had always wanted to see the placenta and I didn't like I Forgot there were bigger fish to fry but with my twins that I had two placentas I wanted to see both placentas so I had like Alex Anguish: Eww. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Jessielee Sittig: this like to-do list in my head like birth Wyatt birth Waylon look at the placenta so yeah and that there were two I just thought that was really neat and I just wanted to see it and so Alex Anguish: Heck yeah, heck yeah. You also created those. Mm-hmm. Mine was like a mega placenta. was offline. I will send you a photo. was, it was huge. I mean, not like it's gross. It's beautiful. Cause it's like, like, ⁓ my gosh. It was like this thick. And like, I mean, it was huge. And I was like, thank you so much for keeping my children alive. Now you can go. Jessielee Sittig: Die! I can't wait to see it. That's intense. I love it. Yes, it's amazing. It was so funny. This is so random, I was mentioning my daughter came in our bed this morning and I'm tickling her on her belly button and my daughter's six and she said something like, I don't know, like wasn't this how I was attached to you? And I was like, well, yes, kind of like your umbilical cord was connected to a placenta and we were like talking about that this morning. So it's just funny that we're having a conversation about placentas, but, and I don't know, it's all just so beautiful and so cool. Okay, okay. So yeah. So what happened with yours? Like did they put baby A on your chest? Alex Anguish: That's a goal. ⁓ So they brought baby Hayes up to my chest. I got to love on him for a but like you could tell the urgency in the room. ⁓ And so one of the nurses within like a maybe less than. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Alex Anguish: was like, okay, we're gonna take him over the table and start getting them all cleaned off. And so their verbiage was like, you're about to push the other one out. So we gotta get him out. So, but to me, was just kind of, you you're just kind of like, ⁓ my gosh, what is going on? And because maybe it was so fast for me, I really, I blacked out a lot of that, a lot of those little things. But what I do remember is like, once Charlie came out, I could sense the urgency was heightened. and that scared me. Without anyone saying anything, I was like, what's wrong? I knew something was wrong. And so you had not only the two nurses working on Charlie, then all of a sudden the respiratory therapist is there, then all of a sudden the manager of the NICU is there, then all of a sudden ⁓ the anesthesiologist is poking his head around and I'm just like, what is going on? And then. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Hmm. Mmm. Alex Anguish: I can see my mom and Ben start to make their way over there because they can send something wrong. Then I'm like, what's wrong? What's wrong? And they were just trying to calmly explain to me, he's just having a hard time breathing. We're going to put a little mask on him to make him breathe better. And we're going to do some testing with his breathing to see if he needs to go to the NICU or not. then so they were very, very kind with how they presented the NICU. And then The sweetest moment was when they had Hayes and Charlie on me. I'll never forget. And I have a video of it. It's a really sweet moment. But my body at that moment started to do the shock shivers. And so it was awful. And so, you know, my legs are still apart. She's trying to like, I can't remember if it was like placenta. I'm sure I had already delivered the placenta, but like it was like she was working on me and I was just shivering the whole time. And it looks like I'm like, Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ gosh, I'm sorry, it's bad. Alex Anguish: on drugs, right? Like your body is just convulsing from the trauma and from the amount of just insanity that just came out of your body. like, so I just remember like trying to calm down and ⁓ just remember smelling them and Charlie had this like little Bane mask on. It was just so sad and like, ⁓ I just remember thinking like, ⁓ my gosh, like ⁓ was so fine. Like Hayes was so content, but I just, Charlie, I was just so worried about him. ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: Mm. Alex Anguish: The one thing, the one thing, even like even vaginal, one vaginal, one cesarean, that would have really sucked. But the one thing I told my husband I didn't want to happen happened. And it was, I didn't want to bring one baby home. And so that was hard. I'm very fortunate that I was able to bring both home at a separate time. Right? I can totally understand there is twin loss and that's Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Alex Anguish: super unfortunate, but as far as just like the emotional side of only bringing one home and then having to like then do this back and forth thing with the NICU in home. I have two kids at home. I got one in the hospital. My husband has to go back to work. It's all on me. Right? Like that was really exhausting. Luckily again, only six days. So I was very fortunate, but that was the one thing I remember saying I didn't want to happen that happened. So that was a bummer. Hindsight, everything's fine. It was very hard at the time. And it could have been way worse. So I'm really appreciative that, you know, of NICU time of that, it was, was mild. So. Jessielee Sittig: So with the NICU, was it just for lung stuff? Lung related. It's so interesting. I wonder like how common it is to see that in twin B because of like when you were describing like the urgency when your baby B was born, I felt the same way. So like I said with Wyatt, they put him on my chest, so much so where I was like, can you take him off, you know? And when Waylon was born, Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's just for breathing. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Jessielee Sittig: He wasn't crying and I felt the urgency in the room. They did not show me him. They just took him over, you know, to the area where they're working on him. And it was same thing. I was like, what's going on? And then he had inhaled some amniotic fluid and he didn't go to the NICU. In retrospect, I wonder if he, he should have, even if it was like a short couple of days or something, because what happened was maybe that evening or the next day we were in the hospital probably for five days. So, Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No, wow. Jessielee Sittig: I was but the boys weren't. ⁓ So like two days after their birth, Waylon started coughing up blood, which was the most awful thing I've ever seen. ⁓ Alex Anguish: Okay. ⁓ my gosh. Jessielee Sittig: And he had to have chest x-rays and breathing treatments and stuff. And the blood ended up being mine. Like he inhaled amniotic fluid blood from birth. So it was fine. They wanted to make sure there wasn't like an active bleed or anything. So everything was fine. They didn't have NICU time, but maybe they should have because we were in the hospital for a couple of days anyways, like getting all that lung stuff figured out. Alex Anguish: Wow. For sure. Mm-hmm. Jessielee Sittig: I wonder how common that is in baby B because they're like floating in there a little bit longer and maybe like moving in a way like moving down where they weren't able to be before. I don't know. It just makes me wonder. I wonder how common, I wonder how common that is for baby B, you know. Alex Anguish: For sure. Mm-hmm. For sure. I always laughed that it was just the shot that didn't get to him. So I laughed. I'm like, because Hayes was lower being A, and then Charlie was higher, and Hayes was on my left side. And I just remember I was contracting, right? And I'm like, gosh, Hayes just really wanted to get out, and Charlie wasn't ready. So. Jessielee Sittig: Yeah. Dang it. He was snug as a bug in a rug. Alex Anguish: He was, he probably could have done one more week in there and been totally fine, but Hayes had other plans, so. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. And you know what's so funny? So like the second that Wyatt was born and they put him on my chest and stuff, like I did not want to tear. And my doctor was like, well, I don't know, maybe you won't since you already had a baby one time, maybe you won't tear. So with Wyatt, I asked her, did I tear? She's like, nope, you didn't tear. And I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, amazing. just because I knew that was going to be an easier recovery if I didn't tear. And then freaking Waylon, one ounce bigger. That's it. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. With turkey. Jessielee Sittig: And I was like, I didn't tear. And she's like, oh no, you tore. I was like, are you kidding me? Like, how? So that was always funny to me. I'm like, I don't know how I can ever tease him about that. It's kind of gross, like probably just between me and my husband. But I always think that's funny that I didn't tear with Wyatt. But the baby who was one ounce bigger, I did in fact tear with him. So. Alex Anguish: Ugh. Yeah, right. great. I was very nervous about tearing. My husband is 6'4", 240 pounds. His dad, similar. His brother, similar. His other brother, similar. Very large men. And when they told me I was having twin boys, I was like, ⁓ my gosh, my poor body. That was the first thing I thought it was like, ⁓ my gosh, my poor body. oh my gosh, my body is going to get ruined. And they were very good listeners to their mother. They came out, Hayes was five pounds, 10 ounces, and Charlie was five pounds, three ounces. And so they were so little. They were so little, but... I think I had like the tiniest tear. I was so proud. I was like, thank you. And it didn't matter about tearing. It just mattered about recovery for me. just felt like my body was gonna like just be brutal after delivery. But I was like, okay, this is great. I actually like could be a human and take care of my kids 24 hours, 12 hours after. So yeah, it had nothing to do with vanity. It had everything to do with functionality as a parent after. Jessielee Sittig: Sure, same. Mm-hmm. I completely agree. And that's so funny. My boys were really small. So my OB's goal was actually for me to make it to 38 weeks, but they started having inner and growth youth restriction. Yeah. So they like weren't growing as much in the scans. So she was like, let's just get them out a little earlier so they can grow more on the outside. So my boys were tiny. They were at 37 weeks. They were 413 and 414. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. ⁓ they're the babies. Jessielee Sittig: They were so tiny and I remember my mom, like my parents were watching my daughter. So we had sent them pictures and then they came the next day to the hospital to visit and they were like, okay, this is nuts because from the picture they looked bigger. And I'm like, well, they have like blankets on and beanies on and then you see them in real life and you're like, I mean, just so, so tiny. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. ⁓ my gosh. Yep. Mm. They're literally like teeny. Yeah. Jessielee Sittig: And I know there are micro-premies and stuff, but they were in like, preemie clothes and preemie diapers at 37 weeks. So, I can imagine. Alex Anguish: ⁓ yeah. Yeah. You know what would be interesting is figuring out why OBs have different delivery tactics when it comes to twins. Because my OB was like 37 weeks, sorry, 36 weeks is our max. We feel that that's the time to get them out, and that's the time that is the sweet spot for twins and mom. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Okay. Alex Anguish: Granted, who knows what would have happened if I had talked to my OB about like, no, I want it to, I want to go when I'm ready. But again, you know, I was contracting and the boys put me in the labor. I was not induced, but they were going to induce me probably the following day of that appointment. So if I had made it to that appointment that morning, they would have. Jessielee Sittig: and Alex Anguish: we would have scheduled my induction. Actually, no, we had scheduled my induction. It was the next day. It was Wednesday, but I went into labor into Tuesday. So like, it's just funny, like, okay, my OB says, nope, 36 weeks, boom, we're gonna get them out. We're gonna induce if they don't come already. Whereas like maybe your OB or others are like, let them come when they come, but we don't go past 40, right? But I'm like, I could not have made another month. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. ⁓ man, I was ready. Alex Anguish: There's no way I could have done another month. Zero chance. Jessielee Sittig: I know. When they weren't telling me like, okay, I think we're gonna have to induce you early. I was like, yes, ma'am, like, let's, yeah, let's get this show on the road. See, for me, like not having to do with the twins at all, because I have a blood cloning disorder, and I'm at higher risk for like stillbirth and stuff like that. So my OB would not let me go past 38 weeks, even with my daughter. Alex Anguish: You're like, ⁓ bummer. Jessielee Sittig: So I was induced with my daughter and with the boys, because while pregnant, I'm on an injection blood thinner. It's like a shot. And you have to be off that for 24 hours before you go into labor, because you're a bleeding risk. So I don't know. Maybe that's also based on twin types. Since I had die-die twins, maybe they thought I could go a little bit longer. Alex Anguish: Wow. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Got it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, maybe Moe Di being more risk with higher risk. That could have been the reason too, for sure. Yeah. Jessielee Sittig: But I'm not sure, that's a good question. So I'd love to talk more about like bringing the boys home to your daughter and how that transition went. Because I know we both had daughters at home and you know, getting twin siblings is magical and crazy. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Well, my daughter, she's just a pistol. She's a copy paste of me. And I love it so much. People are like, ⁓ my gosh. You birth that. Whenever she's saucy or talks back, as much as I correct her in some stuff, I love it. I love that she's got sass. I love that she's got a big personality. I love that she's opinionated. She runs a room. She's confident. That's just like CEO energy to me. I'm like, yes, all day, as long as you're respectful, kind, and nice. I don't care. I don't care. You can be, I hate, this is one of my biggest pet peeves is when people deem girls as bossy. I'm like, you would never say a boy is bossy. You would say that's a leader. Right? No, she's a leader. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Mm-hmm, that's Mm-hmm. Alex Anguish: So like stuff like that, but I'm like, I love it. Well, girlfriend had every opinion in the world when these boys came home, right? Like she, think was talking herself into wanting to like them. And I think she had a hard time at first. Like she'd be like, let me feed them. She'd feed them for like 45 seconds. She'd be like, okay. It was almost like she's like, did you get the picture? Okay, I'm done now. It was like, get it for the gram and I'm done. Like that's essentially. Jessielee Sittig: you Alex Anguish: That was her attitude with the twins for a while. But my husband and I made a very big pact and we brought in my mom, his mom, my sister who are very heavily involved in our lives. And we said, listen, Ben had worked with a physician with an orthodontist prior who had the exact same situation as us. Daughter, identical twin sons. And they were a shifted year in front of us. A year in front of Wes, Wes, a year in front of the boys, boys. So his, and this was the advice he gave to us, which I, to this day is like the best advice he, I've ever gotten from someone when it came to the one to three dynamic. So he said, please just make sure you give time to each kid individually. Right? The twins aren't just the twins or individuals. Wesley isn't just the other sibling. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Hmm. Okay. Alex Anguish: Like make it a point that Wesley gets one on one time with you, mom, one on one time with dad, one on one time with mom and dad. She gets special days with grandma, special days ⁓ with auntie, right? Like these are things that have to happen to show that she's appreciated, she's seen, and we love her. And so that's been a big, big, big thing that we've pushed since having the boys. So we're going on four years. It's... And in the next couple of weeks, we're going to do a triple sleepover. So my daughter's going to go to my mom's. One of the boys is going to go to my sister's, and then we'll keep one of them. So everyone has a little one-on-one time help. Now, not everyone's fortunate to have the village that we have, but I'm going to take advantage of it. My sister doesn't have kids yet, and my mom, we're the only grandkids this close. So I'm like, I have to take advantage of that, because I really think it helps them. Jessielee Sittig: All Alex Anguish: The biggest thing was just to make sure my daughter had as much quality one on one time with us. With us was a huge point, but with anyone. She just needed attention because the attentions shift from one to three. But for her is 100 % attention on her to 30, 30, 30. You could even call it 80, 20 because the boys took up so much energy and time, especially for me. That's really hard. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Alex Anguish: to understand as a two-year-old. You don't even understand anything. And then to understand that your parents' shift of attention is shifting over here, that is really hard. just being, you're not gonna, you're always gonna wanna do more than you can, and that's just life. But just being cognizant of that action and just trying to be mindful and ⁓ intentional with that, I think is really huge when you're going from one to three. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm, yeah. Alex Anguish: you never want your oldest to start having resentment towards ⁓ you as parents or twins themselves. So, ⁓ and it's never a It's all inclusive. Like when we do competitions, it's them against mom, it's them against dad, it's not them against each other, right? I try and never try to divide them. So that's also an intentional ⁓ thought I do. ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: I love all of that and like some of the words you were saying I'm like, yep, yep, like being super intentional about it. So one thing that I started doing last year with my daughter and I know that my husband will do with my sons, but we haven't yet because they're two and a half. But last year we started going on a girls trip, just me and my daughter and it's so fun and she loves it. So. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Jessielee Sittig: Actually, the day that I started getting sick was the day that we got back from our girls trip. So just her and I went to Northern California where we have some family and we got to like stay in a fancy hotel and you know, I'm quoting, fancy hotel. And it just. Alex Anguish: ⁓ Nice. Yep. Yep. You could be at the Holiday Inn Express as long as you two are together and you have food in a bed. It could be snacks or room service. As long as there's food in that bed, it's fancy to them. Jessielee Sittig: She literally talked about the simplest things about that trip that was so cute. She was excited to go on the airplane with just me. And she was so excited. The hotel has a fireplace downstairs. And she was so excited to sit by the fireplace and have hot chocolate with her grandma. little things like that were so sweet. that was such a fun thing that's an intentional time away from the boys. Alex Anguish: ⁓ so cute. Jessielee Sittig: I'm so glad that we did it because I can imagine that being a big sister to twins is challenging. And it's getting easier for her. feel like the same thing. When they were born, I feel like she was like, what is this? ⁓ ⁓ three at the time, so ⁓ little. And she didn't necessarily just own being a big sister right away. was like, same thing. She'd hold them and then be like, ⁓ you seen kids do that where they hold the baby? And then they're like, and I'm done. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. you Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Jessielee Sittig: I'm dead 30 seconds later. And it was really when they could like interact more and like play that she was like, okay, this is awesome. And Alex Anguish: for sure. Jessielee Sittig: I love that you said when you guys do competitions, like you try to do it like them against you. So yesterday we were outside and one of the boys was like putting his hand in our fireplace. There was no fire, but there's like ash. So I'm like, get your hand out, like, you know, get your hand out of that. And she looks at me and she goes, do not yell at my brother. And I just had to like turn away because I was smiling so hard. Yes, I was like, yes, girl. Alex Anguish: ⁓ huh. Yeah. You're like, got her. She's there. We're there. Jessielee Sittig: I, it just was so cute. I'm like, I all day, please stand up for your brother to me. I'm like, sure, that's fine. It just, it was so cute. And it was one of those moments where I'm like, yes, like something, something that we're doing is right. You know, so. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We were in a Chick-fil-A playground area ⁓ ⁓ is, you know, we can't hear anything, but we're in the booth right next to ⁓ playground. ⁓ And I'm, taking bites talking to Ben and I happen to look up and I see Wesley, like getting into this boy's face ⁓ and she's like this. ⁓ And I like, ⁓ what is on? And then he like, the little boy just kind of threw his hands up like this and like walked away. And you could tell the little boy was definitely older, like two years older than Wesley probably. And she like beelined it out to us and like had a stone cold face. And the second she saw me and like hugged me, she starts bawling. And I was like, what's wrong? What happened? She goes, that boy was being mean to Hayes. And I told him. You are not allowed to be mean to my brother. That is my brother. And if you have a problem with my brother, you can go out. She like said like you can go outside and I'm thinking, does she mean like step outside? Like where would she have learned that? But like she like kept going like that and I saw her pointing at his face and like, and I, it was like that moment. That was like a year ago. And it was that moment where I was like, it's happened. We're there. We have them. They're together. We got this. And like, Jessielee Sittig: you Alex Anguish: I swear she's gonna be their personal lawyer because she's got a mouth on her and then by the time the boys get past it, they're projected to be 6'5", the boys. Jessielee Sittig: Gosh, really? Alex Anguish: And Wesley's projected to be 5'10". Jessielee Sittig: Wow, that's incredible. Alex Anguish: So I'm like, okay. So like to me, I'm like, she's gonna be their personal prosecutor and they're gonna be her personal bodyguards. Like it's gonna be like chef's kiss. So I'm like, yeah. So we'll see. We'll see if it really happens. Who knows how they can predict it, but you know, we'll see. I know. Jessielee Sittig: That's fantastic. That's great though that they're so tall. My daughter is pretty tall. She's just like a lanky little string bean. We actually have her six year well check this week, so I'm curious to see how tall she is and the percentiles, but the boys are really small. The boys, they're just tiny. They've always been in like the less than the fifth percentile on like the growth charts and I'm not sure where they are in regard to height, but they're just, they're tiny. So hopefully they have a growth spurt. Alex Anguish: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, my boys, they've always been into one to two sizes above them every time. Every time we shift. They're my little beefcakes. They're my little beefcakes. They're stout. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ wow, that's... That's fantastic. So we haven't yet talked about the craziness that is having twin boys. Do you have any? It's wild. You gotta... Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, let me just tell you, I feel like... I feel like it's never enough. And what I mean by that, what it is, is physical activity is like never enough. We converted our front room, which I think traditionally should be like ⁓ a dining room. We've never had it as a formal dining room. We've had it as like a sitting room, and then it turned in just to the playroom. And now it's like the den and we call it the playroom. Or we call it the den, but it's the playroom. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Alex Anguish: So the den has recently been converted from like Christmas time to now into like a full-blown climbing fest. I have pads on the floor, I have this climbing wall. We're about to install this swing in it. And so we have the TV in there, but like the TV time has tremendously gone down, which was also part of, you know, the desire. But I just needed some like physical outlet for them because especially here, we're up in like Northern Nevada. In higher desert, it snows. And so to not be outside when it's 30, 25 to 30 degree weather, my kids are a little pre-Madonnas and they don't love to be outside when it's super cold, which is probably passed down for me. I'm a Southern California girl, so probably makes sense. But they are summer kids, like spring and summer babies. We are outside 12 plus hours a day. when it is nice weather. that's been like a good bridging the gap of like, when we're inside, we can also be physical. ⁓ And trying to find the happy medium right now of them being physical with each other. So we've had a couple ER trips with one child. Charlie, I think he's just gotten lucky, to be honest. Jessielee Sittig: Mmm. Alex Anguish: he's like, I think his time is coming. So and I wish the ER had like a ⁓ like a ⁓ stamp card. Because like once we get to 10, maybe two more free. I don't know. That'd be nice because I think we're gonna hit 10 pretty quick. ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: Yeah. That's fantastic. Has it just been like stitches or something like that? Alex Anguish: Well, Hayes at two got his tricycle onto the outdoor patio table and tried to Johnny Knoxville himself off the table and ended up breaking his arm in two places, broke his clavicle and his humerus. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ my gosh. Alex Anguish: Yeah, trying to keep a two-year-old in a sling for four weeks was not ideal. Not ideal. So that was fun. And he had a mohawk too. And we're like literally like in the ER. I'm like, this is, I look like the worst parent ever. They're like, well, how do you do it? I was like, so. Which then they were fighting over the tricycle on Saturday. He put it up on the table, forgot about it. It's not his fault. Jessielee Sittig: I can't, I can't imagine. I bet. Alex Anguish: He just forgot about it. And then Sunday, we're all just hanging out, screen doors open, beautiful day. And he went out there. We didn't hear him. And I just hear a big crash. So we didn't see it. And ⁓ we felt so bad. But yeah, parenting, that's going to happen 10 more times, something like that. You know what I mean? And it has. some of the times hasn't even made it to the ER, right? Like, he's again, took a Jessielee Sittig: It happens. Alex Anguish: plastic hockey stick. You're gonna hate this one. He took a plastic hockey stick which comes off in two pieces. So the bottom part is sharp plastic. He decided to jump from our coffee table to the couch and had it in his mouth. ⁓ yeah, it was bad bleeding. I was thinking, okay, he's gonna have brain damage. We're gonna... Jessielee Sittig: Oh no! Oh no! Alex Anguish: he started to calm down, the blood started to slow down. So like all these little check marks, I'm like okay blood's slowing down, if it was getting worse or wouldn't stop we would have been down to the ER immediately. But yeah he had crazy abrasions in the back roof of his mouth and like in the deep and there's like a spot in the back of your mouth that like he could have hit and it could have killed him. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ buddy. Jeez, ⁓ my goodness. Alex Anguish: Yeah, yeah, I was just like, hello. So it's just little things like that. So. Jessielee Sittig: It's crazy, but the mouth bleeds a lot. The mouth and the nose, I will tell you. boys are only two and a half, so ⁓ still have a lot of time. We have not had an ER visit, but we have bloody noses or bloody lips ⁓ week. It's a weekly thing. ⁓ the two of them, are you kidding me? ⁓ Alex Anguish: ⁓ yeah. ⁓ yeah. ⁓ yeah. ⁓ yeah. Jessielee Sittig: The things that they've done, I'm like, are you trying to hurt yourself? Like, we have this little pony wall that comes out in between, like in our living room. Just bike into the wall. Like, no stopping, just smack, insane. And you know, on the cabinets, Waylon will look at me and be like, I climbed this. And I'm like, no, no. So maybe we need like Ninja Warrior in our playroom too, because... Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The one we set up was only like 300 bucks. I'll send it to you. It's Amazon too. it's honestly, it's great. Cause then we got like nugget couches and they like kind of put those underneath and climb up. And then it has some monkey bars, which is good. They're like getting better at that. And they like to like swing off of it. And so I think like the actual swing will help. But I think the hardest part with like twins and Jessielee Sittig: Nice. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Alex Anguish: and our experience boy twins is they just enable each other. Like, I say this to strangers every day that ask me about what it's like having twins. And I said, well, I'm not a twin myself, but watching them, I can tell you that having a twin brother is like having the devil on your shoulder at all times. All times saying, do it, do it, do it. I say this to strangers every day that ask me about what like having twins. And I said, well, I'm not a twin myself, but watching them, I can tell you that having a twin brother is like having the devil ⁓ on your shoulder at all times. All times saying, do it, do do it. Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, you should definitely do that. Alex Anguish: That's literally What it's like having a twin brother is just having the devil on your shoulders at all times, whispering in your ear saying, it. Jessielee Sittig: hilarious and so true. Yeah, you should do a video of that. Alex Anguish: I know, right? ⁓ Make a joke out of that one. ⁓ gosh. Yeah, the ER visits, I just know are just gonna keep coming because these dudes, I mean, last summer within two days we had three bike accidents where like they tried to put their teeth through their lips, falling so bad. Like they were going down, we live near a cul-de-sac, so we'd go down to the cul-de-sac and there's no houses on the cul-de-sac, so we just like rip around the cul-de-sac but it's on a slight incline and Jessielee Sittig: Yeah. Alex Anguish: This big van was parked there randomly one day and so Hayes was on the sidewalk and went in front of the van and he never came out behind the van and so he fell and bit it and he had some good, he had some momentum behind him. so I mean, I'm blood everywhere. I'm carrying the bike, carrying him. The other two are following in suit and... I looked at my husband, that was like the third one in two days. And I said, I don't care what kind of helmet we need, get a different helmet. And so he found like the motocross one. And it's perfect. It's perfect. So it goes on like a regular helmet and it just has the face mask. That's it. yeah. Yeah, it's so worth it because and then they fall in a couple of times, there's a couple of scratch marks and I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, like that would have been deep. Jessielee Sittig: Yeah. ⁓ yeah, that's smart. That's a really good idea. ⁓ Okay, adding to Amazon cart now. Better than your face. Alex Anguish: Yeah, the face is just like, I can handle a broken wrist, broken arm, you know, any limb, but like the face freaks me out because that's forever, right? Like, like growing up playing softball, like we used to make fun of girls like that wore masks when they were playing. And like, I'm like, you're a jerk. I'm going to do that for my daughter. Cause I like softball is going to end. Having her face is forever. Like I don't, she doesn't need like deep. I'm not talking like little things like deep scars on her face or like. Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, for sure. Hmm. Alex Anguish: very bad surgery if her teeth get octan, like that's not worth it. So face, I'm like covered up. Jessielee Sittig: Yes, I agree. Mm-hmm. Well, and it's like teeth stuff scare me. Like I feel like the boys are constantly falling on their mouth and that's the first thing we're doing like we try to wipe the blood off so we can evaluate like are your teeth good? Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yep. For sure. Yeah, it's so bad. So it's just like trying to find, I'm trying to lean into their physicality, but in like a safe way. So that's, that's the biggest thing to like, don't, don't try to be against it. Don't make them permanent proper. Like that's a thing. Cause that's not what their innate biology is supposed to be there. They're supposed to be super physical. So leaning into it, but having comfort in like the boundary you give. Jessielee Sittig: And how. I think. Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. like, yeah, I absolutely love that. And that's so true, because you don't want to be like, no, don't do that. Like, you can play with this in a safe way and get your energy out and get use that testosterone, you know. And it's so funny every night, Meg, all my kids, even my daughter is like, ready to go wrestling. Like every night when dad comes in, it's like, Alex Anguish: So. for sure. Mm. Mm. Hmm. Jessielee Sittig: after dinner, before bath, it's like people are getting thrown on the couch. is everyone's favorite thing. They're like, throw me on the couch, dad. It's hilarious. And we have this little trampoline in our playroom that is kind of shaped like an octagon. So my husband's like, everyone in the trampoline, like we're wrestling. And it's so fun to see, I don't know, them get all that energy out and they're like so pumped about it. And it's, it's very cute. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. The best. Yeah, they love it. Mm-hmm. See, like we're opposite. I'm really, and like Wesley, she loves to wrestle. She's super physical too. So like the three of them are just like three peas in a pod essentially. And, I'm more like crazy wild. My husband's just so chill. Like he'll get physical with them. He likes doing it, but I'm like, let's wrestle. Like if anything, there's anything like wild and nuts, they always go to mom and I'm like, I'm tired. So I'll look at my husband and I'm like. Can you please be the scapegoat tonight? Can you please do that? Jessielee Sittig: That's so funny, yeah, that's mainly my husband. I'm like, I'm good for like a dance party, tea party, I'll do some cars with ramps, but like wrestling, that's dad. That's so, so fun. Well, it's been so fun to chat. All the things, like twin mom vaginal deliveries and twin boys and having a big sister. Alex Anguish: That's great. That's great. Mm-hmm. I know. Jessielee Sittig: Are there any, like stories or topics that we missed? Alex Anguish: I'll give you my most recent story. So we just had norovirus, ⁓ which was but came and went super So that's the beauty of it. ⁓ Hit us quick. And then ⁓ I'm still some of that. I don't great, but at least I'm not throwing up. So yesterday, I was on the couch. Jessielee Sittig: I'm so sorry. Alex Anguish: all day and the boys are home with me part time and then they're at daycare part time so I could work. But yesterday was my day home with them and I was really dreading it knowing how bad I felt and but they were fantastic and I am laying on the couch for like it was like a good three hours where I was kind of up and down like really out of it. They were I plugged them into essentially a show for hours on end. and it was just straight survival mode. I was so sick. And there was a point, like I would yell for them. They were like, ⁓ I'm going to the bathroom or ⁓ I'm just going outside for a second. I'm like, ⁓ my gosh. Like anytime that happens, I go help or I go, I'm watching them. And so like, it was just such a telling time of how sick I was that I wasn't able to like get up, get my neck up off the pillow. So, and here's the last of it. So. I go, I hear the boys go, mom, can I have a snack? And our pantry is magnetically locked because when they were little, I still have all the papered goods and they would just pull stuff out and it was like really annoying. So I just locked it. So now we could probably get rid of it now, but now it's just out of habit. So, but they're up high at the magnets to unlock it set up super high, not super high, just like on the pull above it, above the pantry. So I go, boys, you're going to have to get a chair and just grab them. And they go, okay, because I never let them do that. They thought it was a challenge. They thought it was so cool. So they, can hear the stool, they're getting, I hear them, they pull it open. I hear them rummaging like little rats for like probably the next hour. And I'm like, I don't care what they eat. Everything is like fair game. Well, like after a while I like, I have to like be functional, sit up. We had to go pick up Wesley from school. And I look and there was like two, four. six, like six snack wrappers. And I was like, oh, so each of you like had three snacks. Like that's not bad. I was like, good job. And at some point I woke up and made him lunch. So don't think I'm the worst parent in world, but I was like, wow guys, like you guys have some self-control. Like good job, only like you didn't rummage the pantry too bad. Well, this morning I go to make lunches and I can't find the keys anywhere. And I'm like, boys, where are the magnet keys? They go, what? I go, where are the magnet keys? And Hayes goes, ooh, in the pantry. And I went, what? He goes, they're in the pantry. I go, one or two, because there's two keys. He goes, two. And I looked at Charlie and I was like, yeah, they're in the pantry. And I go, boys, now we can't get stuff out for lunches. So the turd nuggets. weren't in self-control, they just locked, they locked the keys in there and then were like, ooh, they probably went in to go get another snack and they were like, ooh, we just messed up. Yep. But yeah. Jessielee Sittig: Can't get in. ⁓ my gosh, that's so cute. I like how they're both like, sorry mom. Alex Anguish: Yeah, Charlie kept being like, I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry. And I'm like, yeah, I bet you are. I bet you are. Jessielee Sittig: so cute. ⁓ adorable. Incahoops. Alex Anguish: They're just great. They're just crazy and fun and they are in cahoots. They're always in cahoots. And the beautiful thing about this life of twins is that they have each other forever. And it's such a beautiful thing that like they literally have a built-in best friend. And I always like, I always heard that phrase like, ⁓ yeah, built-in best friend. But like now I get it. Like they will, they could feel lonely in some way, but they always have each other. It's crazy. So it's beautiful. It's really cool to watch. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. It's so awesome to watch their relationship and it makes me so happy. It's really special. Alex Anguish: Yeah. And Dave, I don't know about your kids if they'll ever go into preschool or daycare or feel homeschooled or whatnot, but mine get really naughty together. And so our daycare asked if they could split them classes. And I said, no problem, totally OK. Because some parents have very specific thoughts on that. so I said, no, ⁓ it easier for you. Maybe a little separation would be good for them. And they, the teachers tell me all the time whenever they come in for like recess or something, they come and they give each other the biggest hugs. ⁓ Hazer, ⁓ Char Char, hi. And they just hug and love on each other. And then they sit next to each other at lunch and they talk about their food. That's exactly the same, might I add. ⁓ look what you got. ⁓ look what you got. And the teachers just think it's the cutest thing. Their bond is so special and that they just love seeing each other on recess and lunch. And I was like, okay, thank you. Cause they hate each other at home. Jessielee Sittig: Aww. That is... Alex Anguish: They literally wrestle and fight. Jessielee Sittig: It's, I feel like when they're bonding and like they're having a sweet moment, it's the most precious thing ever. And then when they fight, they fight hard. Yeah, I feel like that's so normal. Like for sibling dynamics, but I feel like it is stronger with twins, you know? So, well, before we go, do you have a piece of advice or if you could have a heart to heart with a twin mom, what would you tell her? Alex Anguish: Hard. Hard. For sure. For sure. Hmm. Hmm. would probably tell her ⁓ probably tell her you're doing better than you think As a parent in general, but definitely as a twin pair you're always questioning and second-guessing yourself and your instincts, but like ⁓ just a demanding ⁓ of parenting ⁓ It's a way of parenting a lot of parents don't have Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Alex Anguish: understanding to, only twin parents do. So getting advice is hard. Listening to stuff like this is really important, just a game perspective. But it just try not to do everything perfectly. Because it's like, my biggest thing is setting realistic expectations. when I go out of the house. is what's my expectation for them? Is it to sit prim and proper, hands in their lap while we eat? No. I'm gonna pick one goal, and it's that we didn't have a screaming tantrum. But if the whole time we're sitting there saying, don't touch this, don't touch this, and then we walk and they didn't walk away and we didn't have a tantrum, then great. But it's just like, I don't know, just truly thinking like, you're doing better than you think. So just lower your expectations. There's gonna be... eras of twin life, especially the first couple years in which you are going to black it out because you're in straight survival mode. So you're doing better than you think and ⁓ find your twin people because that will help. So yeah. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Mm-hmm. Hmm. I love that, and it's so true. feel like you need to have twin mom friends who get it. And yeah, I love that. Alex Anguish: Mm-hmm. for sure. Jessielee Sittig: So, well, that was so fun, Alex. Thank you so much for joining me today. And can you say your Instagram one more time? Alex Anguish: Perfect. Perfect. It's Alex anguish underscore. That's a l e x a n g u i s h just like the word underscore. So. ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: Perfect. Give her a follow. She's so funny and talks about twin mom life and just the ridiculousness of being ⁓ a parent. That's exactly right. Well, thank you so much. It was so fun to chat. Alex Anguish: Yep, the chaos it brings. Thank you.