Latest / Xenomania / Xenomania Episode Seven - My Bloody Valentine

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Xenomania Episode Seven - My Bloody Valentine · Xenomania

0:34
Kearns: I finished Castlevania Nocturne and it's good, man.
0:38
I know it's not like your cup of tea, the anime aspect of it and everything,
0:43
those series, um, each season kicks ass.
0:47
Jon: Nice.
0:47
Kearns: do a good, the voice acting is good.
0:49
The storytelling is good.
0:50
The way they, layer on the Belmonts, the different generations
0:54
of Belmonts is pretty damn cool.
0:56
I hope they keep that whole thing going.
0:57
Ryan: than the previous season?
0:59
Because I feel like compared to the original Castlevania run, the first
1:03
four seasons, Nocturne is good.
1:05
But, it like, I don't know, it was just missing something.
1:09
Kearns: Season one was all exposition, like no action.
1:12
and season two is all action everything that you're watching
1:15
is just balls to the wall action.
1:17
Now compare that to Trevor Belmont fighting death and like a righteous
1:21
sacrifice for two full episodes.
1:24
Nothing's going to beat that in the first season.
1:26
Castlevania was done so well.
1:28
And they upped the ante with the actual graphics and
1:31
everything, not saying graphics.
1:33
I'm old, uh, the animation style and stuff like that's like
1:37
second to maybe just UFO table.
1:40
it's just a damn well done.
1:42
That's all I gotta say.
1:43
Now, does it hold up to a 1981 slasher flick?
1:48
Knocked everybody on their asses?
1:50
No, I don't think so.
1:52
Jon: Couldn't
1:52
Kearns: don't think so.
1:53
No.
1:54
I was putting off watching, uh, My Bloody Valentine though, to finish Castlevania
1:59
Nocturne, because I got so into it.
2:01
But, I gotta tell you, it was worth the wait.
2:03
Jon: Yeah, man.
2:04
original is just so gritty and perfect like, they even cast it so well with
2:11
guys who look like they could be minors.
2:14
Kearns: They all look like miners.
2:15
They look like they wake up with their skin already covered
2:18
in coal dust as normal humans, not as characters in the movie.
2:23
Ryan: have the black lung Derek Zoolander got.
2:27
Kearns: They probably have the black lung pop.
2:29
But for those of you guys who don't realize we are doing a special Valentine's
2:33
day episode And this one is on my bloody Valentine, the original and the remake.
2:38
Ryan: My bloody Valentine holds a special place in my heart.
2:41
Just because, I first was introduced to it, I was getting into a lot of films and
2:46
doing a lot of film study in high school.
2:48
And this was one of the classics that, came upon me, on my own accord
2:52
through the early days, I guess, of shutter when shutter was like
2:56
on a channel or something similar.
2:59
And biggest thing that caught my eye, It's not about teenagers.
3:04
It's about young adults, working class.
3:08
They're in Canada, but it has like a Midwest vibe to it.
3:13
It's a different vibe because usually teenagers like, Oh,
3:15
we're going to go smoke dope.
3:16
And these guys are like, no, we're going to go have a beer.
3:19
We're going to go hang out, have fun, maybe smoke a little weed in like, you
3:23
know, the creepy junkyard, but we're going to have a good time as this
3:28
minor is killing every one of us off first about celebrating Valentine's
3:33
Kearns: And by that he means minor, not like a minor.
3:37
Not an underage person.
3:38
This is an above age person who was trapped in a coal mine.
3:42
Why don't we give a brief little synopsis because we've been doing these obscure
3:45
movies and we haven't really explained the plot points to the, to the listeners
3:49
too well, why don't you guys give it just kind of like a real generalized
3:53
plot overview of my bloody Valentine,
3:56
John.
3:57
Jon: what I mean?
4:04
So bloody Valentine's centers on Harry Warden, who was a minor, who was
4:09
trapped in a mining accident then took revenge upon people related to the mine.
4:15
In the original, in the, remake, he is a cannibal who then winds
4:20
up in a coma and then very
4:23
Kearns: My bloody twist,
4:24
Jon: way, way more convoluted in the remake.
4:27
Um.
4:27
And
4:27
Kearns: doesn't like the remake.
4:29
Jon: John does not like remake.
4:31
Kearns: I'm going to whisper things to you as he goes through this.
4:38
Jon: Um,
4:43
completely lost my train of thought.
4:45
Kearns: Sorry, so he's, he's a, uh, in the original, he's a miner who gets,
4:50
trapped in a coal chute and a shaft in the mine and it gets closed off and
4:54
he dies and he curses the town, right?
4:57
That's the big over, like he curses the town.
4:59
Now, I don't know why he cursed them.
5:01
Was it their fault?
5:02
He got trapped and they were like, screw that guy.
5:03
We're not going to go get him.
5:05
Jon: yeah,
5:05
Kearns: They didn't go get them.
5:06
Ryan: they left,
5:07
Jon: yeah, I think it's implied that there's some mismanagement in the mine.
5:12
Kearns: I think, I think we might be right about
5:15
Jon: aren't met.
5:16
Kearns: it.
5:16
There's a shocking, shocking revelation.
5:18
And then, so his thing is he curses them for not coming to get him
5:22
and he dies on Valentine's day or he's trapped on Valentine's day.
5:25
So they're never allowed to celebrate Valentine's day or else he'll kill you.
5:30
Which I think the stakes are significantly too low
5:33
Cause if there's one frigging holiday, I think we can all agree that we
5:36
could ignore it's Valentine's day.
5:38
The only place that the benefits is like Hallmark and the
5:40
sizzler for Valentine's day.
5:43
But anyway, they ignore it and they decide, no, we're going to stand our
5:46
ground and have a big sock hop on Valentine's day and then bedlam ensues.
5:51
Right.
5:51
This is
5:52
Jon: then Harry Warden shows up and starts, or what you assume to be Harry
5:57
Warden, up and starts killing people
6:01
Kearns: spoiler heavy, John.
6:02
Jon: with farts valentine chocolate boxes
6:06
Kearns: Yeah.
6:07
Some of the deaths in the original are top notch, gory goodness.
6:11
I was shocked at how gory it was.
6:14
Even, I mean, it wasn't like there were movies that weren't back then, but
6:18
this one was particularly well done.
6:21
Jon: Yeah, the effects in the original are spectacular.
6:25
Especially, they had no budget,
6:28
Kearns: No, I didn't have any money.
6:29
what I'd heard.
6:30
So I wanted to run this by you in my, very scant research that I did,
6:35
I found out that they were making movies, there was a loophole.
6:39
And if you produced a movie out of Canada, they were able to
6:42
not pay taxes on that film.
6:45
I don't know if that means they weren't, they didn't have to pay taxes on the
6:47
box office take, or they didn't pay taxes on whatever else, but you could
6:53
produce the movie out of Canada under one of their shell production companies,
6:56
and you would save a ton of cash.
6:58
And there was a bunch of movies that came out because of that.
7:01
That were of that era and stuff, uh, before they fixed that glitch.
7:06
And this was one of them.
7:08
And that's why it takes place in Canada instead of West Virginia, which is totally
7:13
where it's meant to be, in my opinion.
7:15
Jon: mhm.
7:16
Kearns: but did you, did either of you guys get any of that at all?
7:20
Ryan: I didn't get anything on that, uh, note my research.
7:24
I just thought it was just a
7:25
Kearns: Okay.
7:25
Ryan: made in Canada and it was just something they were trying
7:28
to push through and something new they were given a taste for.
7:32
The whole idea of, American cinema going to Canada.
7:35
I was calling it Canada.
7:38
don't even know what a Canada is.
7:40
Kearns: That's fine.
7:41
We're not editing that out either.
7:42
Canada is our new romanticism.
7:44
Jon: Yeah, Cameron.
7:45
Cameron goes in the Ryan dictionary.
7:48
Kearns: We're going to put them tariffs on that.
7:49
Canada, that's the way that's going to work.
7:52
And that's probably how they fix this loophole too.
7:55
Who was the president?
7:56
81.
7:58
Jon: 81 was Reagan.
7:59
Kearns: It was all, he wouldn't stand for that shit.
8:03
Shut down that damn production company, tear down the wall.
8:08
Jon: So the thing I came up with is when they fit the mind
8:11
that they found to shoot it in.
8:13
I had just closed down.
8:15
So they signed.
8:16
So it was, you know, all the stuff was still there.
8:18
They weren't going to have to go and get like.
8:20
Things to make it look like an active mine.
8:23
It had shut down within like six months.
8:25
Kearns: Oh, perfect.
8:26
Jon: So they, you know, they signed the deal and then the people of
8:29
the town went and cleaned the whole mine up for the movie.
8:33
So when they got there to shoot, they had to, I think, I forget if
8:37
the director said it was or a hundred thousand dollars to re dirty the mine.
8:42
Kearns: Oh my God.
8:44
I was 30, 000.
8:49
Ryan: to a quote I read.
8:51
So you can eat off that floor.
8:53
Just imagine
8:55
Kearns: That's wild.
8:56
Ryan: chemicals.
8:57
It's
8:57
Kearns: to imagine.
8:59
Ryan: It's crazy.
8:59
It's crazy.
9:00
Kearns: I don't want to imagine that for one second.
9:02
Jon: I don't want to imagine a minute in a mine
9:05
Kearns: No, that's a terrible existence down there.
9:07
Um, I once, went to the level below the subway in New York city when I
9:11
worked there and, you know, climb down an 85 foot ladder from the subway, you
9:18
could feel the earth getting warmer around you and just being in there.
9:23
There's a stillness and a, um, a vitality to it a little bit.
9:28
It's awful.
9:29
I do not like it.
9:30
Do not want to eat green eggs and ham.
9:32
No chuds, no chuds, the closest thing to chuds were in the level, in the subway,
9:37
we found a dude who made a house out of VHS tapes, like they were stacked
9:41
like bricks, and they were in the Y of two tracks, and he set them up, so
9:46
that basically it was like a windbreak.
9:49
At the beginning, and he was behind them, like where my head is to my hands
9:53
here, if you're watching the video.
9:55
And he had them all stacked like that.
9:57
He wasn't in it when we went by it.
9:59
And I was disappointed because it was a really good fort.
10:02
Like a perfect fort.
10:03
Jon: of videotapes,
10:05
Kearns: There was a ton of them.
10:06
He must have had four or five hundred of them per wall.
10:09
Ryan: what
10:10
Kearns: That's pretty cool.
10:11
Ryan: one and it's like it messes up the whole thing,
10:13
Kearns: He doesn't.
10:14
He defecates in there, right?
10:17
He defecates in there.
10:19
He sleeps where he shits.
10:20
That's that man's, those were simply just convenient tools for him.
10:25
Ryan: 20 copies of the shadow right by his head, built in his fireplace.
10:31
Kearns: Maybe who knows, who knows, but no chuds.
10:35
So with my bloody Valentine, there's a, in the first movie, there's not
10:39
a lot of work done in the mine.
10:41
Um, the third, I'd say, uh, last third of it, there's more stuff
10:45
that goes down, down there.
10:46
And in the, in the remake, there's a lot.
10:49
A lot more in the minds, but in the first movie that a significant amount
10:53
of it's done in the town itself
10:56
Ryan: Yeah.
10:58
Kearns: the costume, the, um, yeah, I guess you'd say the costume, this
11:02
could have been one of the iconic
11:04
Ryan: Yeah.
11:07
Kearns: cut.
11:07
I guess the movie itself didn't make the cut either, but
11:10
Jon: didn't get seen enough, but that mask, that mask,
11:14
Kearns: that's the mask right there.
11:16
Jon: is like top five horror masks for me probably,
11:20
Kearns: It's good.
11:21
Pretty
11:22
Jon: top five, maybe top two.
11:24
I think it sort of draws like the Scooby Doo generation because
11:28
it's also very minor 49er.
11:32
So you already have that connection if you grew up on Scooby Doo.
11:36
Kearns: Yeah, fair.
11:37
That makes sense.
11:39
Yeah, I think it is minor 49er.
11:41
one of the things I liked in the remake, by the way, we will do the original
11:44
and then the remake, but just the part where he leans in after he traps him
11:47
in the cage and he turns the light on.
11:50
That was pretty cool.
11:52
That was pretty cool.
11:53
I feel like they borrowed from this aesthetic for Bioshock a
11:56
little bit with the Big Daddies.
11:58
if you guys played Bioshock at all, listeners and, and, or co hosts, the Big
12:03
Daddy's outfits, they don't look like him.
12:07
The shirt that John's got on right there.
12:09
They don't have that minor goggles, aerator or whatever you call it.
12:13
Respirator.
12:14
It's a different thing, but it's the same vibe.
12:17
The vibe is very much.
12:19
So the exact same where he's so alien inside of all of that gear.
12:23
Um, and it's scary.
12:26
He walks around with a pickaxe.
12:28
There's another weapon of choice too.
12:29
And they're
12:30
Ryan: original, it's just a pickaxe.
12:32
I think for the
12:34
Kearns: just the pickaxe.
12:35
Ryan: a pickaxe as well.
12:36
And they use that 3d very well with those kills with the pickaxe.
12:41
Tom
12:41
Kearns: Yeah, we're going to do.
12:43
Ryan: strongly.
12:45
Jon: so in the original there are some outside implements like the shower head
12:50
Kearns: Yeah, good call.
12:52
Jon: but it's primarily a pickaxe.
12:56
Kearns: My favorite murder in the, uh, original is the pickaxe up through the
13:01
bottom of the mouth, which probably isn't the first time it's been done,
13:04
but it definitely feels like it's the first time it's been done where
13:06
something can also came out of the eye.
13:08
The pickaxe goes through the bottom and then pops the eye out.
13:12
And that was gory as hell is cool too.
13:16
Jon: Such a bad way for that bartender to go out, man,
13:19
Kearns: Didn't really deserve it.
13:20
Jon: He was.
13:21
He was.
13:22
So, he knew the danger.
13:26
warned everybody of the danger, and he went there anyway to try
13:29
to prank the kids and scare 'em
13:32
Kearns: It's Valentine's day.
13:33
Jon: through the chin.
13:34
Ryan: well, the beginning scene when he's got the, uh, prostitute and she's
13:39
like showing him the heart tattoo and he.
13:41
picks her up puts her through the pickaxe and you see it go through the heart.
13:46
That was pretty cool graphics it was like very like leather face in Texas Chainsaw
13:50
Massacre when he puts the One of Sally's friends on the hook on the meat hook.
13:55
It had that vibe.
13:57
Kearns: Yeah.
13:57
That's a tough thing.
13:58
Ryan: like You saw that grit and you have that gore and that violence, but that's
14:02
what makes it so different from a lot of the, uh, 80 slasher films that came out.
14:07
That's also what led to a getting cut nine minutes.
14:11
Kearns: Yeah.
14:11
Ryan: paramount was afraid of the backlash they were going to have because of, uh,
14:16
Friday 13th, that Kevin Bacon scene with the arrow, there was a good amount of
14:21
backlash on it that caused a lot of films to kind of watch what they were doing.
14:26
Sort
14:48
Kearns: He looks so stupid with his dumb haircut and his huge glasses
14:52
Jon: Until they did.
14:53
I mean, they notoriously hated slashers.
14:56
Like, um, shoot, I just, Silent Night, Deadly Night.
15:02
When they reviewed it, they read everybody involved in the production
15:07
and just every day, same, same.
15:10
Like,
15:10
Kearns: Wow
15:12
Jon: like, just, they hated slashers.
15:14
They mostly hated the horror genre for a long time.
15:18
Kearns: I don't really know, too many of, Oh, I don't know why they
15:21
would review them in the first place.
15:23
If they're just going to be doing like Casablanca and stuff like that, stick to
15:27
it, then you goofballs, we don't need you.
15:30
they could have had a totally different set of reviewers.
15:32
Ryan: that they loved all films and the thing is, is they try to illustrate
15:37
like, Oh, you can have an opinion, but you have to have an opinion.
15:40
Don't hate all on whore.
15:42
Give a little love to it.
15:43
And their issue.
15:45
Like, can't say you love all films and be like, well, I really hate romance.
15:50
And it's like, you're not an all film lover, technically,
15:53
you know, just like this genre.
15:55
That's it.
15:56
Kearns: Can't give four and a half stars to sleepless in Seattle, Roger.
15:59
You can't do it.
16:01
And then give four to you've got mail to say movie, Roger.
16:06
I get it.
16:07
We got to look up now.
16:08
Well, not now, but at some point for next episode, we got to look
16:11
up and see, which horror movie they actually gave a decent review to,
16:15
because I'm sure there's one exception
16:16
Out there.
16:18
Ryan: I'm trying to think.
16:19
what, what film,
16:21
Kearns: There's gotta be a good one.
16:22
It would be
16:23
Ryan: they give it to?
16:24
Like theatrically?
16:28
Kearns: something that doesn't have a lot of gore.
16:29
Maybe gremlins.
16:31
They might've done something for like gremlins,
16:33
Ryan: The Mimic.
16:34
Jon: Maybe.
16:35
Kearns: The mimic was good.
16:37
I got to see the lead of that movie when I was at a chiller too.
16:41
Ryan: 95.
16:42
Jon: after them.
16:44
Ryan: Siskel
16:46
Kearns: around, but I don't know if Cisco was dead at that point.
16:49
Jon: been dead.
16:50
Kearns: but Ebert was still kicking.
16:52
Jon: I found a list
16:53
of horror that they thumbs up.
16:56
Alien.
16:57
Kearns: that's a safe bet.
16:59
Jon: Original Halloween.
17:01
Kearns: Hmm.
17:02
See, now that's interesting.
17:04
Jon: Not as interesting as this one.
17:07
Kearns: Oh, see, I knew it was going to be gremlins or
17:09
critters or something like that.
17:11
Critters critters, a good film.
17:15
Jon: was a good film.
17:16
Kearns: I like critters.
17:17
Well, which one is it where they turn into a big ball and they roll over the guy
17:20
and there's just a skeleton left behind.
17:23
That's the best part of critters.
17:24
Ryan: That's
17:24
Jon: Yeah, I think that's two.
17:26
Kearns: It's like all I remember besides giant, there was giant critter too.
17:29
At some point there was a big one.
17:31
That one makes sense because that one really is a long,
17:34
there's a lot of drama to it.
17:35
Jon: Misery.
17:36
Kearns: Can we call misery a horror?
17:38
Jon: Yeah,
17:38
Kearns: you know, Nathie Bates is pretty scary.
17:40
Nevermind.
17:41
Ryan: Because he's trapped in the bed, and she's like, torturing him.
17:45
Kearns: I don't know.
17:47
I don't know.
17:47
That's a tricky one.
17:48
I guess you could call it a horror.
17:49
Yeah.
17:50
But it's just not what we're considering as horror right now
17:52
and what we're talking about.
17:54
She's, she does smash his ankles with that sledge pretty efficiently.
17:58
She kills the, yeah, yeah.
18:01
Stephen King, you did it.
18:02
You did, you son of a bitch.
18:04
You definitely made that a horror.
18:06
Ryan: it.
18:07
Kearns: Cujo too.
18:07
Um, Yeah, that one's, that one's another wild one, but with regard
18:12
to the slashers and getting back to this one again, I think the biggest
18:15
criticism of the first movie is that it's got really bad hokey acting.
18:20
but it's part of the charm of the movie.
18:22
Depends on what you're getting into it for.
18:24
you're not looking for an Academy Award winning You know, job by the school nurse
18:30
who gets murdered and things like that.
18:32
Plus he, she dies very funny.
18:38
So, um, with stuff like that, there's, you gotta kind of take what you're, you
18:44
gotta understand what you're viewing, I guess is what I'm trying to say.
18:47
It's my bloody Valentine.
18:48
Jon: you can't go into this expecting it's gone with the wind.
18:52
Kearns: And they did a good enough job.
18:53
the, the actual script itself was fine.
18:55
And then the Scooby Doo esque twist at the end was kind of endearing.
19:01
So we had that, we had that go down, um,
19:06
Ryan: Harry Warden.
19:07
Jon: part of
19:08
Kearns: the ballot of Harry Ward.
19:11
Jon: twist can't happen anymore, right?
19:13
Like, the sheriff knows I'm calling the hospital.
19:18
I'm going to find out if Harry's there and he calls and they can't tell him anything.
19:22
Bye bye.
19:23
Kearns: Cause of HIPAA.
19:25
Jon: well, and no records, like, there's no records, they can't, they can't just
19:32
like pop up a couple buttons on a computer and say, oh yeah, he died a few years ago.
19:36
he's dead.
19:37
Ryan: What's crazy is
19:38
Kearns: corner,
19:39
Ryan: That was the excuse.
19:40
We, we don't have this folder.
19:42
We lost it for five years.
19:44
Like you don't have like a backup file or anything.
19:47
Bullshit.
19:47
Nurse Ratchet.
19:48
Kearns: dude.
19:49
I gotta tell you, my wife worked in a doctor's office where it was like
19:53
hell on earth with regard to their paperwork and all of the folders
19:56
everywhere and stuff like that.
19:58
I want 100 percent in 81.
19:59
I want 100 percent think that you could lose a chart forever.
20:03
Ryan: crazy.
20:03
Jon: It's, it's not like they can punch a couple buttons and then
20:06
have the records in front of them.
20:08
Kearns: Just pull it up.
20:09
Yeah, it's not electronically copied 50 times and there's not backups.
20:13
Like the only thing that you would get out of it were those old carbon paper copies.
20:19
That you would get when you would write on them, and even that though,
20:21
I don't think was on everything.
20:23
So, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, it's a possibility
20:26
that they could have lost it.
20:28
it.
20:28
Could have.
20:29
Ryan: Ray Finkel's paperwork, alright.
20:33
Kearns: Nobody lost Rayfink.
20:34
Well, they didn't lose a lot of stuff Rayfinkle had apparently.
20:39
All of it shows up later in the movie.
20:43
Oh man.
20:45
So, the original one, that's what it is.
20:46
It's kind of, um, It stands with Titans of that time period.
20:52
So you, you've got nightmare on Elm street coming up, uh, right.
20:55
Nightmare on Elm street came out after correct.
20:58
Yeah.
20:59
Um, you've got things coming up.
21:01
It sort of was a pretty good predecessor to those movies and it pushed
21:04
the limits a bit, which was nice.
21:06
you mentioned too, that Friday the 13th, the original came out before
21:09
it, which was not as gory if you watch the first one, the second one's gory.
21:15
If I remember correctly, second one amps it up.
21:18
Ryan: gets hit,
21:19
Jon: Yep.
21:19
Ryan: the machete in the face, and wheelchair guy, he gets pushed down
21:23
the steps, and you see the machete in his head, and he's just going down.
21:27
It's a dummy, of course, but the imagery with the rain in the
21:30
background is, like, very unsettling.
21:32
Kearns: It's like the
21:32
Ryan: I'm
21:33
Kearns: second most unsettling wheelchair death in a horror movie.
21:36
Do you know what the first one is?
21:37
Ryan: of curious to know what your first one is.
21:47
Kearns: credits.
21:48
They got the wings of an angel, plays.
21:51
But, no, um, Red Dragon,
21:53
Ryan: God.
21:54
Kearns: Red Dragon, when he lights the journalist on fire after gluing him to
21:58
the chair, I never remember his damn name, a brilliant actor, I can never remember
22:01
his name, John Ryan, what's his name?
22:03
Yeah, Philip Seymour Hoffman.
22:05
He does a great job in that movie too, playing a schmuck.
22:07
And he dies a schmuck.
22:09
Down the street he goes on fire.
22:10
And it's the twitching that gets me.
22:14
Scene messed me up.
22:15
Ryan: just the scene from Red Dragon real quick comparing it to
22:19
its original counterpart Manhunter.
22:21
The Manhunter version is much easier to watch compared to the
22:25
Red Dragon one because Red Dragon came out in 2001, special effect.
22:29
Kearns: Really?
22:30
Ryan: 2001, I wanna believe.
22:32
Kearns: God, don't even look that up.
22:34
That makes me sad.
22:35
I was 99 or something.
22:36
I hope it's closer to today.
22:38
That feels like it shouldn't be that long ago.
22:41
Ryan: 2002.
22:41
I'm I'm sorry.
22:43
It was right in between,
22:44
Kearns: Ed Norton finished American history X and they're
22:46
like, grow your hair back, Eddie.
22:48
We got a role for you.
22:50
Jesus.
22:52
So manhunter, can you explain to people who might not know what, what manhunter is
22:56
Ryan: Manhunter is the original version of, Fred Dragon.
23:00
it's technically the first film in the Hannibal Lecter series.
23:03
Cause Silence of the Lambs was supposed to be a sequel.
23:06
skipping on his name.
23:07
the original Hannibal Lecter.
23:09
It wasn't, uh,
23:11
Jon: Brian Cox.
23:13
Ryan: Brian Cox was unavailable.
23:15
Kearns: that that shit head, Anthony Hopkins for the role
23:17
Ryan: Brian Cox does a good
23:19
Jon: They really slumped it.
23:21
Ryan: Cox does a good job, but
23:23
Kearns: Cox did a good job.
23:24
Oh, cool.
23:32
Ryan: element.
23:33
Cox was just more ambiguous, where it was just like a plain slate, and it just
23:38
looked like he's lost in this world.
23:41
Like trying to be the puppet master, but not while Anthony Hopkins
23:45
is more of that showman playful.
23:47
Like I'm trying to help you, but I'm helping myself and makes you question
23:52
him more while with the Cox one, you're just like, eh, William Peterson.
23:56
He's the Edward Norton character in man hunter, which CSI fan, Gil Grissom.
24:02
a nice little treat.
24:03
it's, it follows the book.
24:04
It's basically the same story, but also Michael Mann directed it.
24:08
So you get heat vibe to it.
24:09
Kearns: Okay, and that's a thing, if anybody here has seen Heat,
24:12
that is a thing, that is a vibe.
24:14
I might watch it now tonight just because you said that.
24:16
Throw on some Heat.
24:18
alright, so that covers that little tangent into Silence
24:21
of the Lambs and whatnot.
24:22
But, getting back to My Bloody Valentine, what we were trying to
24:25
segue into was from the original.
24:27
The original is what you get.
24:28
Ryan: Yeah.
24:34
Kearns: movie that ups the ante with the slashing quite a bit.
24:36
Jon: It
24:42
Kearns: really either.
24:43
It's a horror movie.
24:44
It's a, it's a horror, horror movie.
24:47
and
24:47
Jon: feel
24:47
Kearns: when you get,
24:48
Jon: quaint
24:48
Ryan: Okay.
24:54
Jon: it's gotten the nine minutes that's cut they don't
24:57
even blink about anymore that
25:00
Kearns: yeah.
25:00
Jon: just there you're used to that now
25:03
Kearns: Makes sense.
25:04
Jon: that was
25:05
Kearns: I blame the tick tock.
25:06
Jon: people.
25:07
Kearns: Yeah.
25:08
Jon: the tick tock.
25:09
Kearns: It's the TikTok's fault.
25:11
Ryan: damn it.
25:12
Okay.
25:20
Kearns: into this hokey vibe, for it.
25:23
That I mean, to their credit, they own it.
25:26
It's there the whole film.
25:27
It's not just there for a little bit and stuff.
25:30
it's a pretty hokey film.
25:31
it's definitely not spiritually a successor to my bloody Valentine.
25:36
In my opinion, it loses a bit.
25:38
It's still very violent and very gory, but there's a campiness to it.
25:43
That's different and I can't really put my finger on exactly why I'm sure John
25:47
is seething with hatred for that film.
25:48
So I'm sure he'll be able to put his finger on it, but there's
25:52
some stuff I really like about it.
25:53
We'll get into, one of the aspects is the guy from Supernatural
25:58
is the lead actor, right?
25:59
Jon: He,
26:00
Kearns: I,
26:01
Jon: Tom.
26:02
The
26:02
Kearns: yeah,
26:03
Jon: who is heroic in the original.
26:05
He's not like your full on hero.
26:08
He's more reluctant, I'm gonna step up and try to save people.
26:13
Kearns: good deal, and then I found out a bit of trivia about him,
26:16
unless you guys have that bit of trivia too, from Supernatural, no?
26:20
So he, directed an episode of, or a few episodes of Supernatural, and one
26:26
of them is called My Bloody Valentine.
26:29
In honor of his work in my bloody Valentine, the film.
26:33
So I thought that was pretty sweet.
26:35
It was pretty cool.
26:36
Well, Easter egg there.
26:37
Ryan: That
26:37
Jon: is cool.
26:39
I'm not very well versed on Supernatural.
26:41
Kearns: I'm not either.
26:42
And I'm sure our listenership will kind of poo poo us on that.
26:45
Cause I know a lot of really talented people who like supernatural.
26:49
I just haven't been into that vibe.
26:50
I know a lot of people who got so into Buffy.
26:52
It was like ridiculous too, and stuff like that.
26:55
And I I never got pulled in like they did,
26:57
Ryan: Supernatural's not bad.
26:58
we're still working on Season 1, but it's like, after Season
27:02
1, it's more seasons to go.
27:06
And, oh, it should have ended at Season 10.
27:08
Wait, we got 5 more seasons for you.
27:11
The Winchesters.
27:12
Oh, it's a prequel.
27:14
Don't worry, Jensen Ankles is back as Dean for an episode.
27:18
Special guest appearance.
27:19
It's, it's Turned into a cash cow.
27:22
I was against it actually in the beginning, cause everyone was like,
27:25
you love The X Files, you'll love that.
27:27
I'm like, you can't compare these two shows.
27:29
It's sacrilege.
27:31
Jon: No.
27:32
Kearns: no, I would have to agree.
27:34
Ryan: that too.
27:35
I was like,
27:36
Jon: I got
27:36
Kearns: They
27:38
Jon: yeah.
27:39
You'll love this.
27:41
Ryan: Two different shows.
27:42
Kearns: try to do that with, a show on Netflix.
27:44
I'm trying to remember the name now.
27:45
It's like one word name where she has to figure out if it's faith or if it's
27:49
like psychosis, yeah, it's evil, right?
27:52
It's if it's like them being, possessed by demons or if it's actual psychological
27:57
and every episode kind of like ends in an ambiguous way where you can't
28:01
really tell for sure, which they try to pull off with the X file, but at
28:04
the end of the X files, there would oftentimes be a definitive answer.
28:08
That you would get like the mud man who lives under the suburban town.
28:12
Sure.
28:12
His origin might be a little funky, but we understand that he
28:15
is now dead or alive or whatever.
28:18
Like we get that they don't leave that dangling and that an evil,
28:22
they, they do a terrible job of that.
28:23
And that's why I stopped watching it, that in the VR headset for the kids
28:27
with the demon inside of the VR headset.
28:29
I thought that was stupid.
28:30
I just kept getting angrier.
28:32
Like made it through three episodes, just wanting that to work.
28:34
Cause that concept is so good.
28:36
And I just gave up on it.
28:37
Ryan: The actor who plays David, he was a Luke Cage in the, Netflix show.
28:41
So it's got a good crew.
28:43
Just, I mean, I don't mind it.
28:45
I don't, I just kind of go into it and be like, Oh, okay, this is just fun.
28:50
having fun with the idea and the concept.
28:52
And it was pretty cool that I think it was on NBC and NBC was kind of
28:57
going into that of showing shows like that at nine o'clock, which is,
29:04
Kearns: W
29:05
Ryan: It's so unorthodox for them, you know,
29:07
it's like they're doing cheers and Seinfeld, and now it's all about demons.
29:13
They tried Constantine too.
29:15
They had that Constantine series
29:17
Kearns: Did Lionsgate do Constantine too?
29:19
I know Lions, gate's, what brought my bloody Valentine 3D out,
29:22
Ryan: know.
29:26
Kearns: Lionsgate leaned into horror for a minute there.
29:30
Um, sorry to to, to throw that into your, I totally gunked
29:34
up your gears on that one.
29:35
Sorry.
29:36
But, um, I know Lions, gate's, the reason why this movie got made.
29:39
For starters, and they, they roll into the 3D thing pretty hard, and I think
29:44
that was a big part of why they made this movie in the first place, was
29:47
to, to throw that 3D stuff out there.
29:50
Ryan: The slow resurgence of 3D in horror film because they did
29:53
that with, the Friday the 13th movie that came out that same year.
29:57
had 3D on that.
29:59
it was just like that pattern.
30:03
Yes,
30:05
Kearns: The other character from, actor from Supernatural?
30:08
Jon: guy was,
30:09
Ryan: he, Sam gets his ass kicked Jason
30:13
Kearns: was around the era when they, a lot of people would go toe to toe with
30:16
Voorhees for some reason, and they put it in every movie like it was gonna end well.
30:20
They did that with a few of the later Halloweens, too, that Like, H2O, they
30:26
would have, you know, some angry dude run up and start punching Mike Myers, like,
30:29
no, you can't do that, that's silly.
30:31
Ryan: mother fucker.
30:32
Kearns: I remember when he put a woman inside of this really hot pool of water
30:35
until her skin melted off in the hospital.
30:37
You can't beat him up.
30:39
Yeah, that messed me up, I was like, very young when I saw that scene.
30:42
Way too young to see that scene.
30:45
Ryan: I mean, you see the bubbling and then you just see his hand.
30:48
It reminds me of actually, to connect it to my bloody valentine, the hot
30:52
dog scene, when he puts Dave's head in the hot dog, uh, the boiling water.
30:56
Now, in the cut I saw, think, John, you have the same cut.
31:01
I don't know if you've seen that cut, Martin, is you actually
31:03
have a camera in the water.
31:05
And you see the skin actually peeling off into the
31:08
Kearns: Yeah.
31:09
Ryan: And then all of a sudden picking out the hot dogs serving it to the people.
31:15
They're like, I don't know where Dave is.
31:16
And they pull out the boiling art.
31:18
It's good writing for a horror film, but also at the same time, you're so disgusted
31:23
because you're like, if they only knew.
31:25
Jon: You know what, Dave?
31:26
That's what you get for boiling hot dogs.
31:31
That's
31:31
Kearns: do you like to make your dogs?
31:34
You don't like dirty water dogs, John.
31:36
Jon: I do not.
31:37
Kearns: You do not put them on the rollers.
31:39
Grill them,
31:40
Jon: grill them.
31:42
Kearns: grill them.
31:42
I agree.
31:43
Jon: takes the same amount of time.
31:46
Ryan: Fried's good.
31:47
Jon: deep fried?
31:48
Ryan: it on a, a skillet.
31:49
Split them.
31:50
Jon: Uh huh.
31:51
Ryan: Deliciousness.
31:51
Give it a little crispy
31:52
Jon: if you give me a deep fried hot dog, you'll have my heart in a chocolate box.
32:01
Kearns: Very nice.
32:03
Oh, man, back to the film.
32:06
You too.
32:08
So, in the new version, they were definitely pushing 3D.
32:12
And one thing that's undeniable is some of the 3D elements in
32:16
that movie were done very well.
32:18
they, they used it as a big advertisement too.
32:21
One of the big draws.
32:22
Remember the fire coming out of the screen and all that?
32:25
Um, um, They showed the effects in the previews for the movie
32:29
to draw the audiences in.
32:31
I don't know what the box office was like for my bloody Valentine three day, but I
32:35
can imagine it was probably pretty good.
32:38
Ryan: as good as they would have liked it, because there were talks of doing
32:42
a sequel and all that fell through, because of the critics and stuff and
32:48
the payout that came out from it.
32:50
Kearns: Okay.
32:50
So the money didn't come in.
32:51
cause usually critics can go F themselves.
32:53
They'll just take the money and run.
32:55
So
32:56
Ryan: looked at both, both factors and they just wanted to move on.
32:59
Plus I think also during that time, and this is the sad part about Hollywood is
33:04
they were just, again, it's cash cow.
33:06
They were just releasing movies left and right in the horror
33:09
genre, to make that money.
33:11
I think we were on like another Texas chainsaw massacre at that time.
33:15
A part of the, like the
33:16
Kearns: yeah.
33:17
Ryan: the Friday the 13th movie, which was supposed to get a sequel.
33:21
That was rushed because they put parts one, two, and three together.
33:24
Um, the following year you get the greatest remake of
33:27
all Nightmare on Elm Street.
33:29
Sorry, Jackie Earl Haley.
33:31
Love you.
33:32
But that was, yeah, that was rough.
33:36
That's a rough one.
33:37
It just,
33:40
it was all cash
33:42
Jon: No.
33:42
Robert Anglund will always, always, always be Freddie.
33:46
Nobody should ever play that role again.
33:50
Nobody.
33:51
Kearns: It wouldn't be a bad idea.
33:53
I've thought about that before too, where they did, um, uh, They did New
33:58
Nightmare and a few of these other movies and they had England in it,
34:00
and then they kind of went left on it.
34:03
how many do they make with What's His Name?
34:04
Ryan: Jackie Earl Haley.
34:06
Kearns: Is it one or two?
34:08
Yeah,
34:08
Jon: you
34:09
Kearns: just the one.
34:10
It wasn't well received.
34:11
That was the, like, the origin story.
34:13
Jon: Yeah.
34:13
Kearns: eh, kids, come into my boiler room.
34:15
And then the stupid kids did it, and then they, you know, they should have punished
34:18
those kids for listening to that janitor.
34:21
Just saying.
34:22
Those are some dumb kids.
34:23
Ryan: original concept.
34:25
Kearns: Heh heh heh.
34:28
The original concept was he was, Chester the molester and the
34:31
parents burned him alive for it.
34:32
didn't they do a twist in the other one
34:34
where he was like, it was misunderstood?
34:36
Ryan: They made a more into a murderer because the original, a new line
34:41
cinema execs were like, we can't have them be a molester in the eighties.
34:45
Um, it's not going to be good for our horror genre.
34:48
So we're just going to make them a murderer instead.
34:50
That's, that's definitely better, which in hindsight for advertising wise,
34:55
it is better.
34:55
I mean, those kids were wearing, Freddie costumes, all that Halloween.
34:58
Kearns: But it's a little scarier to think that he can invade your nightmares,
35:01
but he's a convicted child molester, at least in the court of public opinion.
35:05
Like it, it ups the ante a little bit when Freddy's going in there and you, alright.
35:10
There's a guy in my nightmares.
35:11
I don't, I don't, my dreams.
35:12
I don't like this, but there's a child molester in my dreams.
35:15
there's a bit of a twist on it that you don't really think
35:17
about watching the movies.
35:19
Just saying, maybe make it a sequel with that angle.
35:22
Ryan: No, that's too far.
35:23
Too far on that.
35:25
Kearns: It's too much 2025.
35:27
We can't handle it.
35:29
Jon: No.
35:30
Ryan: can't, we can't do that to poor Freddy.
35:32
Kearns: Child murderer works better.
35:33
You're right.
35:34
Um, pumpkin head.
35:35
They do something like that too.
35:36
I think.
35:37
No, the guys accidentally kill the kid.
35:39
That's what happens in pumpkin head.
35:40
And he goes on revenge for that.
35:43
not going to get started on pumpkin head.
35:44
We're going to reel it back in the guys on the motorcycles.
35:47
And they get the kid, right?
35:48
Jon: Mhmm.
35:49
Kearns: Yeah, that's the thing.
35:51
It's one of my favorites.
35:52
We have to do like everything about pumpkin head at some point.
35:54
I want to talk for 45 minutes, just about Guillermo del Toro, having
35:57
pumpkin head in his foyer, standing there to greet him when he comes home.
36:01
I think that's the coolest thing ever too.
36:03
Jon: Awesome.
36:04
Kearns: um, yeah.
36:05
Atkins.
36:06
Let's talk about the, definitely the most notable actor in My Bloody
36:10
Valentine 3D, He plays the sheriff?
36:13
Ryan: Jim Burke.
36:15
Kearns: Correct.
36:15
Jon: retired sheriff, I think.
36:17
I think he's retired.
36:19
Ryan: that time,
36:19
Jon: He's like retired, but not retired.
36:22
Kearns: Just when I thought I was out,
36:24
Ryan: he just
36:25
Jon: Yeah.
36:26
Kearns: minor pulls me back in.
36:28
Ryan: He shows up in one scene,
36:30
Kearns: The Danny Glover troupe.
36:31
Ryan: he shows up in one scene that like, it's close to the end
36:35
and he's like, he's in the house.
36:37
I feel like they just had him for certain scenes and they put him in
36:40
there just because they were like, Tom Atkins, we're giving you all this money.
36:44
Here, be in this scene.
36:46
Kearns: They wanted his face.
36:47
Yeah, out there.
36:48
Jon: which is so strange.
36:50
They want, they, a movie that they're marketing for like teens and 20
36:55
somethings desperately wanted a 70 something year old man's face.
37:02
Kearns: That is pretty funny.
37:03
Ryan: the, uh, the attraction.
37:05
He was in the fog show, Halloween three season of the witch
37:10
night of the creeps maniac cop.
37:13
I think they wanted that his appearance
37:15
Kearns: It's in everything.
37:16
Ryan: of attract that older audience because the older audience, they're
37:19
like, Oh, it's my bloody Valentine.
37:22
And a lot of reviewers have said about this movie that it has
37:26
that old 80 slasher vibe and
37:31
does.
37:31
And it's, Own modern way, but at the same time, Tom Adkins really
37:36
pushes the envelope for that.
37:38
So it's bringing that viewership as well as new viewers because new
37:42
viewers see Tom Adkins They're gonna be like, oh, he's a good actor.
37:44
What else he's in and boom escape from new york pops in There's a gem
37:49
just saying love my snake bliskin
37:52
Kearns: That's a good, that's a good reference, Escape from New
37:55
Jon: So while we're on Tom Atkins, why, like, that whole plot point
38:00
where after he, they killed Harry Warden, they dragged him into the
38:06
woods and buried him in the woods?
38:07
Why, it seemed like a justifiable shoot, right?
38:13
it's not like there was police brutality or anything that they needed to cover up.
38:19
Kearns: More fun to pretend,
38:21
Jon: Yeah,
38:21
Kearns: like you're an episode of Sopranos.
38:24
Ryan: wanted to shoot him.
38:25
Um, he shoots him first.
38:27
He runs into the mine and I think they had him like cornered or something
38:32
and they just shot him and killed him.
38:34
So I guess storyline purposes.
38:37
He couldn't hold up to that part of the bargain.
38:40
The sheriff.
38:40
It was like all his merit went away because he did this unspeakable
38:45
act that he wasn't supposed to do.
38:48
And now it's like, he's like withering away.
38:51
That's why he comes back to kind of, I guess, some merit,
38:56
some respect back on his name.
38:58
But of course it doesn't work out.
39:01
Kearns: What's your take, John?
39:05
Jon: I mean, I know why Tom Atkins is in it, because he needs the money, but
39:11
it's a waste of Tom Atkins.
39:12
I
39:14
Kearns: of Tom Atkins.
39:14
They said they were going to make him, if they did a sequel, they were
39:17
going to make a role for him again.
39:19
Ryan: I'm the sheriff.
39:20
Kearns: To put Tom Atkins back in the movie.
39:23
Jon: I would mock that, except they literally did that with
39:27
Return of the Living Dead 2.
39:29
They just recast two guys in different roles, as different
39:33
people, with the same results.
39:37
Kearns: Who needs continuity?
39:40
That's good stuff.
39:42
But yeah, Atkins definitely seemed like he was in the movie
39:45
because he needed the money.
39:46
more so than for the love of the game.
39:49
Jon: had the sex scene with the sexy, angry blonde girl and who in my notes
39:55
I have named Pebble Lukewarm Austin because he looked like a Stone Cold
40:00
Steve Austin ripoff kind of guy.
40:03
Kearns: Oh, good call.
40:08
That was an interesting one.
40:09
Jon: he wasn't extreme enough to go, hell yeah, he'd be a, give me a heck yes.
40:15
Ryan: Well, yeah, the character was very bitchy, but I mean, put that in film.
40:21
Just the, I mean, I'm over exaggerating saying five minutes, but it, that
40:27
scene where, you know, they're banging, it takes a minute, and
40:31
then it's just full frontal nudity.
40:34
Uh, for quite a few scenes.
40:36
And for that time period, 2009, that's really unheard of for that time.
40:41
That's more of like a late seventies, early eighties move right there.
40:45
Kearns: Yeah, the shock value nudity stuff kind of went out
40:49
of favor with memento, right?
40:50
Not memento.
40:51
Wow.
40:52
I said memento.
40:53
Um, ass to ass, you guys know what I'm talking about.
40:56
What?
40:57
Ryan: It's not the crying game.
41:01
Kearns: It's no, it's Jennifer Connelly.
41:02
And, um, in that iconic role, you guys don't know what I'm talking about.
41:06
Jon: mind.
41:09
Kearns: It's definitely not boys.
41:10
Don't cry.
41:12
No, you wish in a beautiful mind to get that it's the one.
41:17
Um, Requiem for a dream is the movie.
41:22
I don't know why I always get that one and memento, uh, confused in my
41:26
head, but I do, and it's not okay.
41:29
Uh,
41:30
Ryan: that's yeah.
41:32
I went a whole opposite way with that.
41:35
Kearns: wild stuff.
41:37
Yeah, yes.
41:38
Well, I mean, I didn't give you much, much by way of, of directions, so it
41:43
is what it is, but yeah, um, now what led us to that is a great question.
41:49
Um, oh yeah.
41:49
Full.
41:50
That was the like end of sort of the shock, right?
41:53
Requiem for a dream came out.
41:54
People saw that scene.
41:55
It kind of hit everybody in the stomach.
41:56
Like, Ooh, wow.
41:58
Then what, after that, did we get tons of gratuitous full fledged,
42:02
a full frontal, rather nudity.
42:05
Not much, for the sake of it.
42:09
So it was an interesting choice
42:10
Jon: since they
42:11
Kearns: My Bloody Valentine 3D.
42:12
Ha ha ha ha.
42:18
Ryan: nothing.
42:20
But out of all seriousness, I feel like if you can put it in the script, where
42:25
it makes sense for nudity, Certain people will get a push for that.
42:31
Our studios will push for that.
42:33
sometimes I think of one of the scenes, final destination, which, the guy who
42:39
plays Axel, he was in the original final destination, one of the main
42:43
characters, but I go and I think of the scene where, the guy with the blonde
42:47
hair, he gets out of the shower and death is trying to kill him in the shower.
42:51
And he escapes from the fire escape.
42:55
And, you know, he's got the towel on, but it's like he's walking
42:58
on the broken glass and stuff.
43:00
He slips.
43:02
whole body goes on the broken glass and you see the the ladder come down.
43:07
those scenes where it's like you have no clothes or anything and it works
43:11
in the film to show the horror really does something where it's like just put
43:17
in there for just to oogle and look.
43:19
Kearns: Apparently it was the actress's decision.
43:21
she wanted the movie to do well, and it didn't.
43:24
Jon: a nod to the 80s flashers because like gratuitous nudity
43:30
and 80s slashers go hand in hand.
43:33
Ryan: yeah,
43:36
I'm shocked it was her choice.
43:37
Kearns: That's true.
43:38
Jon: them so much.
43:39
Kearns: That's a good point
43:45
in the eighties
43:48
because back then there wasn't everywhere.
43:50
Ryan: Nope.
43:51
Kearns: for those of you guys who are, who are in the know
43:54
Ryan: Back in
43:54
Kearns: back then, it wasn't everywhere
43:56
Ryan: between the magazines,
43:58
Kearns: back in my day,
43:59
Jon: Back in my day, they didn't even cellophane some of them.
44:04
Kearns: on the magazine.
44:06
Yeah, it's wild.
44:10
The fact that I know the same, uh, the same convenience store was down
44:13
the road from you is, was for me.
44:15
John is what makes this even more funny.
44:18
old D's variety,
44:22
is there any other aspect of, my bloody Valentine you guys want to get into
44:25
before you roll into your top fives?
44:27
Jon: things that really put me off of it.
44:30
Number one, like, the 3D elements that kinda look
44:34
Kearns: Yeah, let's do that.
44:35
Jon: it looked like it was filmed as a made for TV movie.
44:39
There was something about it that lacked that sort of cinematic value for me.
44:46
It's okay, like, I can get by that.
44:48
I can't get past the end.
44:49
And, Spoilers, spoilers, spoilers, spoilers.
44:54
Kearns: Yeah, it was bad.
44:55
Jon: 81 version, It makes perfect sense when they explain at the
45:00
end, it's not Harry Warden, it's Axel, because Axel watched Harry
45:05
Warden kill his dad when he was 11.
45:09
Perfect sense, he's messed up in the head now, he's, acting out what he saw.
45:15
In the remake, it's Tom and it just doesn't work for me.
45:20
Aside from the fact, through the whole movie, they set Tom
45:24
up as the better character.
45:26
He's a better human being.
45:28
Axel's a
45:31
He's cheating on his wife.
45:32
He's, he's that, but he's, not only is he cheating, he's that jealous cheater.
45:39
That's like, oh, what are you doing with him?
45:41
You're banging the cashier.
45:45
You can't be matched.
45:50
Kearns: We were on a break,
45:52
Jon: revealed
45:52
Kearns: you use the Ross defense?
45:54
Um,
46:03
Ryan: it works better with axle and that whole story of him seeing father
46:08
murder and him being traumatized and him holding onto it and snapping works out
46:13
better than being like, Oh, I was sent to a mental hospital and, um, I'm still
46:19
nuts and everything's going to be okay.
46:21
feel like if they, there's story elements that work, but then that's
46:25
one story element that doesn't work.
46:27
But also the thing is.
46:29
The characters in the original I liked the characters more because
46:33
it feels like they're people that I would have hung out with in high
46:37
school or as a young adult, those were the people I was hanging out with.
46:41
And this one, Axel's an asshole.
46:43
Sarah's like clueless, like she's got a couple moments and I really
46:48
Cause she was Goldie, Wendy and Sin City, which not to sin city, great
46:54
book series written by Frank Miller.
46:56
Definitely read it.
46:57
Uh, watch the movie, but I was had high hopes and It's a rough play and Axel is.
47:05
And it's like you said, like, he's got so, many unlikable qualities and I feel
47:10
like watching it from a story perspective, they try to make him like, they try
47:15
to make you be like, Oh, to like them both and question which one is Harry
47:20
Warden or the minor and you don't, you hate them both because one's a cheater
47:26
it's just Dean from Supernatural without his brother.
47:31
That's it.
47:33
Jon: yeah.
47:35
And he's, like, most of the movie, he seems too whiny to be the killer.
47:41
Ryan: Yeah.
47:42
Jon: I will give them that they did
47:45
Kearns: I make the tracks
47:46
Jon: recreating the mask and the costume, but the person they had in the
47:50
costume the wrong body type for me too.
47:54
Ryan: Okay.
47:59
Jon: seems like a long, skinny dude in a, in a jumpsuit.
48:03
So that kind of didn't work for me either.
48:05
Ryan: like flailing when he was like doing the scenes like you see the
48:08
original and he takes out the light.
48:10
It's like, Bam, Bam.
48:12
It's all serious.
48:13
This guy was like,
48:14
Jon: Mm-hmm
48:16
Ryan: it's like,
48:17
Jon: Yeah.
48:18
Ryan: it doesn't work.
48:19
And I get it.
48:20
Cause it's like, even when he was like, he's trying to fight,
48:22
he doesn't look menacing.
48:24
Like think of like the classic, like, boom, boom.
48:27
Especially like Jason, right?
48:28
Or even the original My Bloody Valentine, it's how you grab
48:32
as an actor or stuntman in that character that makes the character.
48:35
This guy, he was just like, you could, felt like he was like a
48:40
teenager trying to fight adults.
48:42
Like, I'm gonna kill you, and just, just everywhere.
48:48
Jon: Yeah.
48:49
it just, the remake just misses badly.
48:55
Kearns: I knew watching it that you, well, I already knew you didn't like it
48:58
because you dropped the hints, but I was like, yeah, John does not like this movie.
49:02
Jon: yeah.
49:03
Kearns: It does.
49:04
It doesn't do the things it needs to do, uh, to be a good horror movie.
49:08
Jon: That's on YouTube called Valentine's bluff for a movie that has no budget,
49:13
not a great script, bad acting.
49:17
it's kind of okay.
49:19
it does, it does some interesting things with this story.
49:22
It's kind of okay.
49:24
Especially after watching the remake.
49:27
Well, I think she should just done this.
49:33
Kearns: Instead of making the 3D, you mean?
49:36
Jon: put the
49:37
Kearns: Yeah, go Blair Witch.
49:38
Why not?
49:38
Jon: clean it
49:38
Kearns: budget.
49:39
Jon: you know, be fine with that.
49:43
But that remake, that doesn't hit, but that's rem.
49:48
Kearns: that's remakes.
49:49
Most of them don't work.
49:50
That's alright.
49:52
Ryan: Chainsaw Massacre 2000, I think three, I think that was a decent remake.
49:59
Kearns: Once you're on your second or third remake.
50:01
So kind of, I'm like, I'm
50:03
Ryan: Renee Zellweger,
50:04
Kearns: it.
50:05
Ryan: next generation.
50:06
Kearns: I'm franchised out,
50:10
Ryan: God,
50:11
Kearns: count them all,
50:12
Jon: I,
50:12
Ryan: a good bad.
50:16
Yeah.
50:30
Kearns: on a serious note, that of wraps up, my bloody Valentine 3d perfectly.
50:35
And showing what it doesn't do.
50:37
Well, it doesn't do what the first movie did.
50:41
Well, it doesn't do the one thing that was beyond argument good about the
50:46
first movie, which was the gritty sort of slasher horror thing from the eighties.
50:51
They cartooned it up as the best way to put it.
50:54
And it doesn't really, it doesn't land, especially for guys like John.
50:57
I enjoyed it because I was like, Oh, this is like a mockery.
51:01
Of what it should be.
51:03
And I know that John hates this, so I'm going to watch it and enjoy it.
51:06
But there were some things I liked about it.
51:08
The, they tried to like pull that scream vibe in a little
51:11
bit with the twisty ending.
51:13
Um, that didn't work.
51:15
Like you mentioned, everything about it was kind of shit,
51:17
but it was still a good watch.
51:19
It was a great watch watching the original because that's, that's
51:23
like going into a time capsule and pulling something glorious out.
51:26
but that's my bloody Valentine and we hope that you watch it on Valentine's
51:31
day with your sweeties, bring up that movie on whatever streaming platform you
51:36
can find it on because it ain't easy.
51:39
Jon: Their
51:39
Kearns: It's on shutter,
51:41
Jon: There's a,
51:41
Kearns: Well, the remakes on shutter for sure.
51:44
Isn't it?
51:45
Jon: it, man.
51:45
Kearns: Yeah.
51:46
The original you
51:47
Jon: is good.
51:48
You
51:49
Kearns: you have to dig.
51:50
Jon: a ton of extras.
51:51
Kearns: You can get it on prime.
51:54
Oh, that's cool.
51:54
Get it on.
51:55
Blu ray is a good idea too, but you can also buy it.
51:57
Um, you can buy it on prime for a four 99, I believe,
52:01
Jon: good price
52:02
Kearns: which is fine.
52:04
Yeah, it's fine.
52:05
Um,
52:08
I mean, for a lot of the old ones too, they, they don't charge more than
52:11
five bucks for a lot of the classics.
52:14
But, um, yeah, that's, that's my bloody Valentine, everybody.
52:18
We're going to roll into our top fives from the guys here.
52:21
Let's see.
52:21
John went first last time and he usually makes, wait, no.
52:24
John makes Ryan go first all the time.
52:26
Right.
52:27
Ryan: week I went with top 5 holiday
52:30
Kearns: All right, Ryan.
52:32
Ryan: Some are very familiar.
52:33
all of them are going to be definitely familiar.
52:35
number 5 is Black Christmas, 1974, directed by Bob Clark.
52:40
It is the first slasher film in that vibe of the first person point of view.
52:46
Um, you know, The guy in the attic, he's in the house, awesome slasher film.
52:53
Also, it's the first holiday slasher film, and it's set during Christmas.
52:57
One of the most joyous time of the years, and it's a bloody time of the year
53:01
for the sorority girls in that house.
53:03
Number four.
53:05
I love this film, I Know What You Did Last Summer, came out in 1997, it is
53:10
set during the backdrop of Independence Day, the beginning, they're driving away
53:15
and they hit this guy cover up their,
53:24
Kearns: We got a bit of a reach here on the holiday theme.
53:26
We got a bit of a reach.
53:27
We're just going to phone that a bit of a reach on the holiday theme.
53:34
There's fireworks in the background while Jennifer Love Hewitt's boobs are bouncing.
53:38
It's the holiday.
53:39
Ryan: say,
53:40
Kearns: Freddie Prinze Jr. was not in that one.
53:43
No, it was the blonde guy, wasn't it?
53:45
It was Freddie Prince jr. And the blonde guy who's like, we got to kill him.
53:50
We've got to leave his body in a ditch somewhere.
53:51
And Freddie Prince jr. Is like, no, man, it's not the right thing to do.
53:55
I'm going to be in fever pitch someday.
53:57
I gotta be a good guy.
53:58
Ryan: So, oh god, I was like eight, seven years old.
54:03
Yeah, seven years old and just seeing the image of the raincoat with the hook.
54:08
That shit scared the hell out of me.
54:10
Kearns: Yeah.
54:12
But I'm going to, I'm going to call you out again.
54:14
Cause that's like saying the Sandlot's a holiday movie because
54:17
they go to the big carnival on the 4th of July and puke on everybody
54:20
after chewing tobacco, tequila, that
54:29
Ryan: I
54:29
Kearns: is, you're not wrong.
54:31
Ryan: film.
54:31
Kearns: not wrong.
54:32
All right.
54:32
I'll stop giving you crap about the 4th of July.
54:34
I
54:37
Ryan: first saw this film, god, it's so good because there is a twist.
54:42
I'm not gonna spoil it
54:43
Kearns: can't argue with that.
54:45
Ryan: people who are fans of slashers, horror films, or just a good watch.
54:50
Watch this movie.
54:51
basically a whole group of, college friends go to this house on
54:54
vacation and this unwanted assailant starts killing them one by one.
55:00
Or if you think so, I'll just throw that in there.
55:04
Put in a question, make you wonder, make you want to watch it.
55:08
number two,
55:10
Kearns: Oh,
55:11
Ryan: Thanksgiving.
55:13
Kearns: tricky.
55:14
Ryan: Slasher
55:15
Kearns: Okay.
55:16
Ryan: it's a holiday.
55:18
It's Thanksgiving.
55:19
we have an assailant killing people in a Massachusetts town.
55:23
And he's dressed like a pilgrim and he's just slaughtering people.
55:27
Uh, the main motive is very unique.
55:29
It's a nice buildup and they have a really good cast.
55:34
Jon: It also has, it also has a nice twist.
55:38
Ryan: And it's, it's right in your face too, which was nice.
55:41
Cause you see it and then it's like, as it builds up you find out at the
55:46
end, what happens and you're like, okay, it connects and it makes sense.
55:50
And it's, You want that in a horror film.
55:52
You want that to make sense or to happen in the sequel.
55:56
And um, to get into my number one, it's my favorite of all time, Halloween 1978.
56:04
Kearns: No, that's Halloween is the perfect choice.
56:07
Plus there's a little twisty to it too, because a lot of people don't
56:10
consider Halloween to be a holiday.
56:12
So like that, you know what I mean?
56:14
When you say holiday themed movie, they think that Halloween is sort of like,
56:18
Ryan: was,
56:18
Kearns: that's horror time.
56:20
So we don't count that in the holidays, but I like that you did Halloween.
56:23
Ryan: always,
56:24
Kearns: Samane.
56:25
Ryan: It's fun.
56:27
It's a time to be scared.
56:28
Chair
56:29
Jon: holiday.
56:31
Ryan: should have it off, but they won't approve that.
56:34
Give us Halloween off.
56:36
Jon: Give us November 1st.
56:38
Ryan: Oh yes.
56:39
Kearns: No, they never will.
56:43
That would be sweet.
56:45
I want to lobby for the day after the Superbowl, the Monday or make
56:48
the Superbowl Saturday, you heathens.
56:50
That'd be fine too.
56:52
or the day after Halloween, if it's on a weeknight,
56:54
Ryan: that.
56:55
Make it,
56:55
Kearns: if it hits a week day, the day after, I mean, that's a 100 percent
56:59
Ryan: down that wall.
57:06
Kearns: federal holiday.
57:07
Yeah.
57:08
Then another Reagan moment going for the podcast.
57:11
We started with it.
57:12
We're ending with it.
57:13
All right.
57:13
Ryan finished out strong with Halloween as his number one.
57:17
John, what's your category this time around, buddy?
57:20
Jon: movies for Valentine's Day.
57:23
Kearns: Tom, of
57:27
Jon: So,
57:28
Kearns: you stuck to the theme because this is a holiday.
57:32
Jon: I'm probably
57:33
Kearns: this early, by the way.
57:34
We're about two weeks ahead of time.
57:36
Jon: but listen, it works.
57:40
Kearns: Can't beat 4th of July for,
57:42
Jon: We'll see.
57:43
I might.
57:44
So, my number
57:45
Kearns: I promised I'd stop.
57:46
I'll stop.
57:46
Jon: Craven's Shocker,
57:50
Ryan: Mitch Pellegi.
57:51
Jon: yeah, timeless love, timeless love.
57:56
Kearns: Wait a second.
57:57
Jon: convicted, executed serial killer Horace Pinker comes back via electricity
58:02
and resumes his killing spree.
58:05
Destroying the love, or maybe this is what it is when you hear these names, Jonathan
58:11
Parker and his girlfriend Allison.
58:16
Ryan: That's awesome.
58:20
Kearns: Oh boy.
58:22
John and Allison.
58:24
Jon: into her ghost helping
58:25
Kearns: wonder.
58:27
Jon: Horace Pinker, and they are a timeless love.
58:30
It's even one of the songs.
58:31
It's got pro it's one of my favorite all time soundtracks.
58:35
Ryan: Yeah.
58:36
Jon: It's like, shocker.
58:37
Well,
58:42
Ryan: watching that
58:43
Kearns: You big corn ball.
58:45
Ryan: out of me
58:45
Kearns: Stop loving your wife.
58:46
Ryan: just,
58:51
Jon: it gets so
58:52
Kearns: That's a good one.
58:53
That one hits.
58:54
Jon: So
58:56
Kearns: That was on AMC, too.
58:58
That one was on AMC, Fear Fest, for a while.
59:01
By the way, we called it Fright Fest, like Six Flags, the entire episode.
59:05
We did.
59:06
We called it Fright Fest the whole time.
59:07
And not until I put the graphic up that I realized we'd done it.
59:11
And I was just like, we're letting him ride, baby!
59:13
Jon: end fight just
59:15
Kearns: was definitely in that.
59:16
Jon: ridiculousness as they're like hopping through TV channels fighting.
59:21
And as Ryan mentioned,
59:23
Kearns: That's cool.
59:23
Jon: before his time as Skinner on the X Files.
59:27
Kearns: That's a strong start, John.
59:29
I don't know if you're going to get four more that are that good.
59:31
Jon: So 13 years after
59:33
Kearns: never saw a lover's lane.
59:35
Jon: a killer who tormented teenagers at a Lover's Lane returns
59:41
to extend his reign of terror.
59:43
Ryan: Okay.
59:44
Jon: Anna Faris is in that one, pre Anna
59:47
Kearns: It does.
59:47
He
59:48
Ryan: scary movie?
59:49
Kearns: does.
59:49
He adequately in it.
59:51
Oh, really?
59:53
Cool.
59:57
Ryan: going
59:57
Kearns: So she's actually attempting to be in a true horror film.
1:00:00
I have to watch it now.
1:00:01
Jon: Blu ray release too.
1:00:02
I
1:00:04
Ryan: He's
1:00:05
Kearns: Is Chris Pratt still married to her?
1:00:06
Jon: know.
1:00:08
Ryan: He's Arnold
1:00:09
Kearns: No,
1:00:09
Ryan: son in law.
1:00:11
Kearns: solid swap out.
1:00:13
He should have married the, the bastard.
1:00:15
Ryan: Oh, 100%.
1:00:16
Kearns: what he should have done.
1:00:17
Marry Arnold's bastard child.
1:00:19
Cause Arnold's gonna leave everything to that one.
1:00:22
That's his favorite.
1:00:23
Mark my words.
1:00:24
Ryan: child who
1:00:25
Kearns: kid who looks just
1:00:26
Ryan: him.
1:00:27
Kearns: Arnold.
1:00:27
Ryan: kids are like,
1:00:28
Kearns: Oh, good stuff.
1:00:29
Ryan: work out with you, Dad.
1:00:30
He's like, just pump some
1:00:31
Jon: mm hmm.
1:00:38
How
1:00:46
Kearns: I must pump the island with my new son from the mid.
1:00:52
He's a child
1:00:53
Ryan: Ha,
1:00:54
Kearns: that I deserve.
1:00:55
Ryan: ha,
1:00:56
Jon: did we
1:00:56
Kearns: I don't know
1:00:57
Ryan: ha,
1:00:57
Kearns: we get there?
1:00:58
How did we get here?
1:00:59
Jon: three,
1:00:59
Kearns: John, what's number three?
1:01:02
Jon: So
1:01:03
Kearns: That's true.
1:01:03
Jon: by Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead, who have done a string of,
1:01:09
like, creepy, time warpy sci fi movies.
1:01:14
But Spring is, is a true horror movie.
1:01:18
Kearns: Okay.
1:01:19
Jon: in life goes to Italy to find himself and in love with a woman who
1:01:25
seems like she's the woman of his dreams.
1:01:29
But she has a dark secret.
1:01:32
It's a very dark secret.
1:01:34
Kearns: Okay.
1:01:39
Oh, I know this movie.
1:01:42
The two actors that did this, did the eternal as well, right?
1:01:45
Jon: endless,
1:01:46
Kearns: They directed.
1:01:47
Yeah.
1:01:47
The endless.
1:01:48
I'm sorry.
1:01:49
Jon: Mm hmm.
1:01:51
Kearns: I watched spring because I loved endless so much and spring is dope.
1:01:56
Spring is a good one.
1:01:58
Love crafty and cosmic horror style to John.
1:02:02
Excellent.
1:02:03
Excellent choice right there.
1:02:04
My friend.
1:02:05
I'm just so happy.
1:02:05
I know one of his obscure choices.
1:02:07
Everybody.
1:02:07
I never know any of these movies.
1:02:09
This is great.
1:02:10
Now spring is awesome.
1:02:11
If you haven't seen spring or the endless, you must watch both of them.
1:02:16
Jon: It's the same story, same
1:02:21
Kearns: fair.
1:02:22
Jon: just different perspectives.
1:02:24
It sort of makes The Endless make more sense.
1:02:29
Which you kind of need sometimes with The Endless.
1:02:33
The Endless is not like a casual watch.
1:02:36
Kearns: No, yeah, it takes a lot of time.
1:02:38
if you have watched the Southern reach trilogy or read the Southern reach
1:02:42
trilogy books or seen annihilation, that is the type of vibe you're getting
1:02:47
with the endless, but I think the endless is better than annihilation.
1:02:52
Personally.
1:02:53
Yeah, that's a great, it's a great movie.
1:02:55
Um, and yeah, spring does have that great romantic vibe to it.
1:02:59
The woman, the Italian lady that he falls in love with.
1:03:02
It's, It's a solid, solid, solid pick for this, especially this list.
1:03:07
Um, I got, I can't tell you how excited I am.
1:03:10
I knew what you were talking about for once.
1:03:11
Yay.
1:03:11
Okay.
1:03:13
Jon: Cemetery Man or
1:03:15
Kearns: next?
1:03:16
Ryan: I know cemetery, man,
1:03:19
Jon: So they,
1:03:21
oh man, Cemetery Man is, is wonderful.
1:03:24
So
1:03:24
Kearns: What a name.
1:03:25
Jon: Rupert Everett,
1:03:28
which is cool.
1:03:30
So Cemetery Man is a cemetery worker and his friend.
1:03:34
Who's not the highest functioning person in the world.
1:03:37
nightly, fight off the living, newly risen living dead.
1:03:42
Which comes to include the loves of both of their lives.
1:03:47
It's such a
1:03:48
Kearns: Okay.
1:03:48
Jon: love story for both of them that I don't even want to tell you
1:03:53
about it if you haven't seen it.
1:03:55
Like, you kind of have to experience the way both of the
1:03:59
two characters fall in love with the people they fall in love with.
1:04:06
They're different reactions
1:04:08
Kearns: Okay.
1:04:09
All right.
1:04:09
All
1:04:09
Jon: to them coming back to life.
1:04:11
Kearns: All right.
1:04:13
See, you're being just cryptic enough where I have no idea
1:04:16
what it's going to be like.
1:04:17
So I'm just like, yeah, it sounds interesting.
1:04:19
It does sound interesting though.
1:04:21
Jon: of weird existential spot, too.
1:04:28
And then my number one,
1:04:30
Kearns: Okay.
1:04:30
Jon: timeless classic, Frankenhooker.
1:04:32
Ryan: all right,
1:04:39
Kearns: Oh,
1:04:41
Jon: after a tragic lawnmower accident claims
1:04:44
Kearns: my God.
1:04:46
Jon: medical student Jeffrey.
1:04:49
I mean, every lawnmower accident is tragic.
1:04:52
Kearns: all tragic?
1:04:53
Jon: lawnmower accident is a tragic
1:04:55
Kearns: I'm sorry.
1:04:56
Jon: but they're not
1:04:57
Kearns: I didn't mean to put it.
1:04:59
I'm sorry.
1:04:59
Hmm.
1:05:01
Jon: But when you try to create self running lawnmowers or remote controlled
1:05:06
Kearns: Elon
1:05:07
Jon: these things kind of might maybe happen more often.
1:05:12
So, yeah.
1:05:14
So, yeah.
1:05:15
The
1:05:19
Kearns: If only there was a man who could control all the
1:05:21
lawnmowers, we'll call him.
1:05:24
Lawnmower man.
1:05:27
Sorry.
1:05:29
Jon: So,
1:05:29
Kearns: We have to be quiet.
1:05:30
We have to let this man finish his last one.
1:05:32
Did
1:05:35
Jon: back, Super Crackin Hookers.
1:05:38
They said Super Crack.
1:05:41
Kearns: if regular crack wasn't enough.
1:05:44
We learn a new thing every day, kids.
1:05:46
I
1:05:46
Ryan: That's, that's
1:05:49
fair, fair on that.
1:05:53
Kearns: Frankenhooker, but
1:05:58
That's the sentence I didn't think I'd say today, but it's true.
1:06:02
No, a solid list.
1:06:04
Or do we get to, we did get to number one.
1:06:05
I'm not jumping the gun.
1:06:06
Right.
1:06:07
That Frankenhunker is your number one?
1:06:09
Yeah.
1:06:10
Alright, nice.
1:06:10
Those were two great ones.
1:06:13
But, um, yeah, happy Valentine's Day, and we hope you enjoyed this one, and hope
1:06:18
you enjoy watching my bloody Valentine.
1:06:21
I know you're not gonna enjoy watching the updated version of it, but you
1:06:25
can try it, for, at least Brian said, there's a five minute time limit.
1:06:28
Gratuitous sex scene in the beginning that might tickle your fancy.
1:06:34
It probably won't tickle something.
1:06:38
Ryan: Happy Valentine's
1:06:39
Kearns: It's a, it's an interesting watch.
1:06:41
I'll give it that.
1:06:41
But, um, yeah, happy Valentine's day, everybody.
1:06:45
Jon: See ya.