Latest / The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast / 85. Why being strategic, and well-informed, saves you money in the long run

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85. Why being strategic, and well-informed, saves you money in the long run · The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to the Post Separation Abuse Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Danielle Black.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're talking about something that really every protective parent needs to hear.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Money helps when you're navigating the legal system, the family law system, but endless money in and of itself still wouldn't be enough.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: You also need strategy.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because the truth is that people don't go broke in family court just because it's expensive.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes, protective parents go broke because they're reacting instead of planning.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: My clients regularly tell me that they save thousands of dollars on legal fees because they are no longer panic emailing their lawyer.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: And they're no longer deferring the decision making to their lawyer.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: They're actually able to instruct their lawyer from an informed, protective place.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're talking about today.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: How strategy can help protect your bank account, your nervous system, and your case as a whole.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: So where do legal cost blowouts actually come from?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just the final hearing.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's also everything that goes on before it.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can incur huge legal bills from repeated emails back and forth with your lawyer, sending emotional messages to your lawyer, letting your affidavit to be rewritten multiple times, poor documentation that requires reconstruction.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Urgent requests for advice.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Requests for advice that might seem urgent to you in the moment but actually aren't.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Reactive applications that weren't really necessary.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Essentially paying a lawyer to think for you and to be a shield between you and your former partner.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: But every time your lawyer has to interpret the chaos, every time your lawyer has to read communication from you, your ex, get you to approve a draft, your build for time that in many cases could have been avoided.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And here's where we get to the difference between confusion and reactivity and being able to respond with strategy.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Confusion and reactivity sounds like I don't know what to do, I should email my lawyer.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Or what do I say back to this?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: I better email my lawyer.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or should I agree to this request for a change in parenting time?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm, I don't know, I'd better email my lawyer.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm just going to send everything to my lawyer.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Strategic responding sounds like I know how to document this behavior and the pattern.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I know how to craft a child focused message in response.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I know how to document this pattern for evidence.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I know when I need to contact my lawyer and when I don't.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Inside the post separation parenting blueprint, and also with one on one coaching, protective parents learn how to present facts instead of just emotions, how to track patterns and not one off incidents, how to document in a way that your lawyer can actually best use it, how to create timelines and summary evidence, when to act versus when to wait, how to prepare for family reports, and how to create responses for co parenting communication when you're not sure.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Lawyers really are not there to help you organize your shit show.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Your job, if you really want to save money on your legal bills, is to become the expert in your own case first, or at the very least along the way.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's to educate yourself, it's to have the knowledge so that you can hand them information that is clear, that is credible, and that is compelling.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: As an example, you receive a message from your ex.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: You're confused and maybe a bit reactive.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: You might be panicking, there might be some emotional distress, you're taking screenshots, you're writing an emotional letter to your lawyer with screenshots attached, the lawyer might reply asking for a bit more context, you respond with a whole heap of more information, and the billable hours start to spiral.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: When someone's being strategic and responding as opposed to reacting, they're screenshotting messages, they're logging behaviors, they're documenting patterns, they're noting the impact of their children if any, they're able to draft a calm response using either the script library that's in the post separation parenting blueprint or with the help of AI Danielle.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: No lawyer needed, zero dollars spent.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is the difference that strategy makes.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Small changes can really compound into thousands of dollars saved.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Thousands of dollars that would be much better spent on a barrister at final trial.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Many parents don't really need a bigger legal budget.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: They need a stronger skill set.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Many parents don't need to fight harder, they need to think clearer.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: They need to become the experts in their own case.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Lawyers know the law, you know your child.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't appropriately and credibly articulate the risk to your children, the impact to your children, your children's developmental needs, attachment concerns, behavior patterns, it can be extremely difficult to truly optimize your overall outcome.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Strategy helps to save you money and it helps you to improve your outcome.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Note I've said that it helps you to do those things.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody else, you.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: This is your case, these are your kids.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: You are responsible for this.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that that can be really difficult to fully accept because I know that you're busy.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: I know that you're already time poor, I know that you're already doing the lion's share of parenting.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: I know that you've got other hopes and dreams.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: But for right now, for many of you, this really is the most important thing that you have going on.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because this won't wait.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is not something that you can press pause on and come back to later.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And as we've discussed in previous episodes, there are things in life that are nice to have a cleaner, a new bag, a new Dyson vacuum cleaner, an online impulse order in the middle of the night.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us have been there.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: The blueprint doesn't fall into that category.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: It really is the foundation for protective parents to become the experts in their own case and to start moving forward with responsive strategy rather than reactive confusion.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not the expert in your own matter, you are actually outsourcing the fate of your kids to people who don't know them.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that your legal team's bad, but only you know your kids.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I can only assume that you're not going to walk into your lawyer's office with your children, hand them over and walk out.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: You might be thinking, of course not, Danielle, what a stupid thing to say.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in terms of legal strategy, that's what parents in this country are essentially doing on a daily basis.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are keen to stop communicating with your lawyer in a reactive way, to communicate clearly, to prepare the evidence in your case properly, to start thinking strategically and long term.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: You may be in the legal system for years.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to be able to hold the line without burning out, the blueprint was built for you.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: And right now, we're still in our Black Friday promo up until December 12.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's this coming Friday.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Up until then, there's$300 off the post-separation parenting blueprint.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: That discount is not coming back this year.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: There's not going to be any discount on the blueprint after that date.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's no Christmas promotions.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: My team and I are going on leave from December 17 until mid-January.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've been thinking about the blueprint, now really is the right time.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And not only do you get a big discount off the post-separation parenting blueprint if you purchase before December 12, but you also get complementary access to AI Daniel until May 2026.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: AI Daniel guides you step by step through implementation so that you're not just consuming information, you're actually integrating that information.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: You're able to use that information to craft your strategy.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: The AI access is not going to be public or available to others until mid 2026.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: So accessing the blueprint before december twelve is a great way to have access to it early and free.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: There's a link in the show notes or you can go to the website Danielleblackcoaching.com.au.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Strategy is not simply about being clever.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's about being calm, informed, educated, and prepared.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need more energy or fight in you most likely.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: But the vast majority of those listening probably do need more clarity.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Probably do need a bit more knowledge and capacity in order to advocate and hold the line for the long term.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Increased clarity saves money, time, emotional energy, and in many cases helps preserve protective outcomes.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Right now I know you're doing something that's really difficult, and I'm cheering for you all the way.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here with me.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I look forward to chatting with you again soon.