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Transcript

SEND THIS TO YOUR EX !!! · Relatables

0:00
Speaker 1: Coming up on Relatables. Firstly, we started with things you
0:04
Speaker 1: should say to your ex when you see them in public,
0:07
Speaker 1: and then with a juicy dilemma about a lucky lady
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Speaker 1: who had to choose between two men very lucky. And
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Speaker 1: then we finished off with a confession and we learned
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Speaker 1: that you should.
0:17
Speaker 2: Never trust a fart. You should never trust a fart.
0:20
Speaker 1: Additional episode highlight was we get to see Jake's hairline, show.
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Speaker 2: It ja.
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Speaker 1: Relatable. The Relatables podcast is hosted by myself, Jake Craig
0:41
Speaker 1: aka Daddy, and my very attractive friends and Collie.
0:49
Speaker 2: Budie Clark aka Mummy.
0:51
Speaker 1: That's to me And if you don't know what he's
0:54
Speaker 1: talking about, we're plugging it early Patreon, Patreon, Thank you, Ken, Sir.
1:00
Speaker 2: No worries, No worries.
1:01
Speaker 1: But today, Jake, I wanted to start things off. So
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Speaker 1: I was in public the other day, right and I
1:08
Speaker 1: thought that I ran into my ex, oh I, but
1:13
Speaker 1: it ended up being a can of trash. I didn't
1:23
Speaker 1: know where I was going, so I was like, I
1:25
Speaker 1: was like, thank God, Oh, why isn't she moving? That's
1:32
Speaker 1: so weird.
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Speaker 2: Still look the same, you know. And my big org
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Speaker 2: was on when I was you.
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Speaker 1: But this is best things to say to your ex
1:43
Speaker 1: when you see them in public. So do you want
1:46
Speaker 1: to go first to me?
1:48
Speaker 2: Okay?
1:48
Speaker 1: First, your hair is looking a bit thinner. Straight, straight up,
1:56
Speaker 1: your hair's looking a bit thinner. Imagine hearing that you
1:59
Speaker 1: couldn't fuck.
2:00
Speaker 2: I couldn't. Couldn't.
2:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, you couldn't.
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Speaker 2: Aud have a mental breakdown.
2:02
Speaker 1: Has been looking at them you got back from Canada.
2:07
Speaker 2: Because I'm hanging out with you and you stressed me out.
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Speaker 1: I knew there was something different about you when you
2:11
Speaker 1: came out. I couldn't put my finger on it until
2:13
Speaker 1: now you notice anything else. Any's bigger muscles. You know
2:17
Speaker 1: that stressed me out.
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Speaker 2: That's what it is. You stressed me out.
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Speaker 1: Okay, best thing to say to your ex when you
2:23
Speaker 1: see them in public. Hi, you're the guy from the
2:26
Speaker 1: gym on Monday, right? Oh shit, obviously they still go
2:31
Speaker 1: to the same gym and put him in his place. No,
2:34
Speaker 1: you don't get that.
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Speaker 2: No, I don't get it.
2:36
Speaker 1: Why did you say something?
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Speaker 2: I was just like, clearly, I just thought they go
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Speaker 2: to the same gym.
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Speaker 1: Implying that she's been talking to a guy at the
2:41
Speaker 1: gym and I got him on at the gym. You're
2:44
Speaker 1: so thick. Sometimes, well, how's this going to work? On
2:45
Speaker 1: an X? So you see your ex in public and
2:48
Speaker 1: then then you go, oh, sorry, hey, I thought you
2:51
Speaker 1: were the guy from the gym on Monday because she's
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Speaker 1: been talking to a guy and he got him confused,
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Speaker 1: implying that she's moved on and she's already talking to
2:56
Speaker 1: other guys. Okay, whatever that jet legs do. Best thing
3:02
Speaker 1: to say to your X when you see them in public,
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Speaker 1: thank you for breaking up with me. I really needed that.
3:07
Speaker 1: Oh that's good. I became a better person.
3:11
Speaker 2: I become a better person. Yeah you did.
3:12
Speaker 1: Look how good I look? You did this to me?
3:14
Speaker 2: I look at the glow up. I had.
3:16
Speaker 1: Best thing to say to X when you see them
3:18
Speaker 1: in public? Sorry, I have no spare change. That's cruel, bro,
3:24
Speaker 1: that's criminal.
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Speaker 2: That is cruel. That's just going out of your way
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Speaker 2: to be rude.
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Speaker 1: Fucking hell. Best thing to say to your ex when
3:32
Speaker 1: you see them in public. Quite, if you keep watching
3:37
Speaker 1: my Insta stories, you may as well just follow me again.
3:42
Speaker 1: Cuts deep. That's good and there'd be so many guys
3:45
Speaker 1: out there that do it, hundreds of people. Yeah, you
3:48
Speaker 1: definitely just go. You can go watch your story and
3:50
Speaker 1: you just think like, oh, they're not even going to
3:52
Speaker 1: I always feel a bit creepy. Have you ever like
3:54
Speaker 1: you've been on someone's profile and you accidentally like click
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Speaker 1: their like their little the saved stories down underneath. Yep,
4:02
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be there. Okay. The best thing
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Speaker 1: to say your X when you see them in public?
4:08
Speaker 1: Ah a rat. Oh that's fun, so good to say
4:22
Speaker 1: for you couldn't say this. A guy couldn't say this
4:27
Speaker 1: to his girl ex alright, but the girl can say
4:30
Speaker 1: it to a guy X. Best thing to say to
4:32
Speaker 1: your X when you see them in public?
4:34
Speaker 2: Are you bulking?
4:39
Speaker 1: I think you're right. Guy could not say that to
4:43
Speaker 1: his I bet you have that you've been bulking. Actually,
4:49
Speaker 1: if you have been bulking, it's am if you are. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: she's like sort of into the gym. She's put on
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Speaker 1: some kegs, those happy hes bro. Best thing the steady
5:01
Speaker 1: X when you see them in public, Hey, how's your
5:03
Speaker 1: brother going? Hey? That's actually I reckon. That's not even
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Speaker 1: like cruel. I just think that's like power move. It
5:11
Speaker 1: is awful.
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Speaker 2: Power move.
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Speaker 1: I got one in here, and it's tell your mum
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Speaker 1: that I said Hi, Oh, tell your mom. I said, Hi,
5:18
Speaker 1: that's not I think that one's fine.
5:20
Speaker 2: Oh you're like, you.
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Speaker 1: Don't think it's like like a power move or anything
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Speaker 1: like that. It is like being nice a little bit.
5:25
Speaker 1: You could take it either way. The brother one's like
5:27
Speaker 1: implying to the brother's hot. What about tell your mum
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Speaker 1: that I miss her a little bit? That weird a
5:31
Speaker 1: little bit.
5:32
Speaker 2: It's a little weird.
5:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, Ah, best thing to say to Rex and you
5:39
Speaker 1: see them in public, Oh look who's still shopping in
5:43
Speaker 1: the clearance section. Don't bring money into this.
5:48
Speaker 2: You can't do that.
5:49
Speaker 1: Oh that's just main. I've got to say. These were
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Speaker 1: some of our best responses we've had in a long time.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty good. Good question.
5:56
Speaker 1: A good question, good question. Best thing that sady X
5:58
Speaker 1: when you see them in public, they'll let anyone in here. Nowadays, hey,
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Speaker 1: fuck me. The pettiness.
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Speaker 2: I feel like everyone with their ex is so petty.
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Speaker 1: One thing I find hilarious about when you break up
6:13
Speaker 1: with someone is, well, you're with someone, the little things
6:17
Speaker 1: that annoy you. You look past him, you don't care,
6:20
Speaker 1: you let them go, just their little quirks. But then
6:24
Speaker 1: but then when you break.
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Speaker 2: Up, you hate you fucking hate the little things. You're like, oh,
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Speaker 2: that little thing they did was.
6:30
Speaker 1: So annoyed you you despise them.
6:32
Speaker 2: I can't believe I put up with that.
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Speaker 1: That's most annoying fucking thing I've ever I've ever seen
6:36
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. But when you're with them, it's like, oh, look,
6:37
Speaker 1: it's just it's so cute.
6:42
Speaker 2: But then yeah, you're like, I fucking hate that shit.
6:43
Speaker 2: I hated that.
6:47
Speaker 1: A person thing to say to your ex let me
6:50
Speaker 1: see them in public. Hey, omg house insert name of
6:55
Speaker 1: the side piece that he didn't realize you knew about. Oh, going,
7:00
Speaker 1: it's intricate. Well here he'll be spiling right there and
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Speaker 1: he'd be like he'd be like you knew, yeah, he.
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Speaker 2: Started start off with like oh, and he'd be.
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Speaker 1: Like like what sorry.
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Speaker 2: Sorry.
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Speaker 1: The best thing to say the X when you see
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Speaker 1: them in public. I thought the garbage truck came for
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Speaker 1: the trash in the morning.
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Speaker 2: Fucking hell, surely.
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Speaker 1: No one would ever say that.
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Speaker 2: None of these things that we're saying right now is
7:24
Speaker 2: ever going to be sad.
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Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, maybe the brother one.
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Speaker 2: That's hostility.
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Speaker 1: That's all it is, is hostility. That's where I got
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Speaker 1: my interest from that one.
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Speaker 2: Just want to be good?
7:33
Speaker 1: Okay. Best thing to say your X when you're in public? Brother, brother, brother,
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Speaker 1: what's that?
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Speaker 2: Brother?
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Speaker 1: Okay? This is something I would say to you if
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Speaker 1: I was your ex. Okay, okay and I saw you
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Speaker 1: in public.
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Speaker 2: Right right right.
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Speaker 1: Glad to see the hairline is also catching up to
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Speaker 1: your lives. Get off the podcast of getting you liar.
8:05
Speaker 1: Why that's a fuck?
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Speaker 2: Glad to see your hairline is catching up.
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Speaker 1: To your lies is crazy? Who came up with that?
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Speaker 2: We need to call them out?
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Speaker 1: Probably your egg.
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Speaker 2: Bro.
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Speaker 1: Your love was fake, question mark, question mark. So were
8:24
Speaker 1: my orgasms, which is worse love orgasms ship? I reckon
8:32
Speaker 1: they're equally as bad. I think a girl would hate
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Speaker 1: to hear that my love was fake or a guy's
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Speaker 1: love was fake, as much as a guy would hate
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Speaker 1: to hear my orgasms for fake. Like the effect every orgasm,
8:44
Speaker 1: I would be like, okay, like I didn't even love you,
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Speaker 1: then my love is fake. I want to see a
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Speaker 1: good fake orgasm.
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Speaker 2: I bet you have experienced. I bet you have to, mate.
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Speaker 2: We all have let me. Really, it doesn't matter how
9:08
Speaker 2: much I say, I never want you to fake one.
9:09
Speaker 2: I kind of do. I kind of do. There's no
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Speaker 2: way I have a one hundred percent success rate.
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Speaker 1: I honestly think anytime I've been good has been good,
9:18
Speaker 1: and anytime I've been bad, they haven't even bought it. Faking.
9:21
Speaker 1: Oh okay, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, okay, Yeah,
9:24
Speaker 1: that's my that's my mindset anywhere.
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Speaker 2: It feels.
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Speaker 1: This one's savage. Best thing to say to your X
9:31
Speaker 1: when you see them in public? Cheated on anyone else? Yet?
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Speaker 2: Fuck, that's good. That's actually a good one.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, that is good. I think that's actually and like
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Speaker 1: not really hostile. I feel like there's like I feel
9:43
Speaker 1: I think if you cheated on you, that would be
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Speaker 1: a brilliant thing to say, as you would like to say,
9:47
Speaker 1: it's just facts. It's just facts, bro. I like that's
9:49
Speaker 1: actually actually really liked that one. Best thing to say
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Speaker 1: to your X when you see them in public. Damn
9:56
Speaker 1: still five to seven. I'm not gonna grow. What do
9:59
Speaker 1: you mean? We're twenty my grossburg finished round sixteen? Shut up?
10:05
Speaker 2: Way to hit him?
10:06
Speaker 1: Man?
10:06
Speaker 2: Wear It hurts lay.
10:07
Speaker 1: To hit a man wearing us for a man on
10:09
Speaker 1: the six foot? This is a roach?
10:12
Speaker 2: Did I tell you?
10:13
Speaker 1: I mentioned myself at my mum's place. No, yeah, I tol,
10:17
Speaker 1: I'm this much over six foot. This did your mum
10:20
Speaker 1: meader you?
10:20
Speaker 2: No?
10:20
Speaker 1: No, no, measured like well, I mean one of my
10:23
Speaker 1: family I think my sister did. One of my family
10:24
Speaker 1: members did. Yea, and over there they have They don't
10:26
Speaker 1: use metric like you know how we have millimeters. Their
10:28
Speaker 1: measuring tapes is in inches and feet. Yeah, and I
10:31
Speaker 1: was this much over six foot.
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Speaker 2: It's like curs.
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Speaker 1: Oh. It was the best bitter relief in my life. No, oh, okay,
10:37
Speaker 1: I just had to check nothing.
10:38
Speaker 2: I wasn't wearing anything.
10:40
Speaker 1: I was like. This was like I was like stretch
10:43
Speaker 1: stretched out before you went there, stretched out like stretched
10:46
Speaker 1: my back. This one might be my favorite. One best
10:50
Speaker 1: thing to say of your ex when you see them
10:52
Speaker 1: in public. Stay fresh cheese, dick, Oh my god, I've
11:03
Speaker 1: never had cheese. You have a bulleskit, have you?
11:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's disgusting. You had it.
11:10
Speaker 1: It's not you don't understand what it is.
11:11
Speaker 2: I know, it's just a little bit of like build
11:13
Speaker 2: up a gunk.
11:13
Speaker 1: But it happened. It happened after a day of sweat. Really, yeah,
11:16
Speaker 1: it's not like not like fucking cheese.
11:18
Speaker 2: Cheese.
11:19
Speaker 1: You'd have to experience it, like I don't smell I'm
11:22
Speaker 1: in the shower and I pulled back. Yeah, pull it back, brother.
11:31
Speaker 1: Best thing to say to your X when you see
11:33
Speaker 1: them in public, So this is what you look like
11:35
Speaker 1: at your lowest. I like that one. That's all that
11:43
Speaker 1: all relies on the delivery too.
11:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta be like, oh, it's curious, So this
11:48
Speaker 2: is what you look like.
11:49
Speaker 1: You're like pondering makes sense. Yes. The best thing to
11:54
Speaker 1: say to your X when you see them in public,
11:56
Speaker 1: why are you stalking me?
11:59
Speaker 2: Another good that is brilliant.
12:02
Speaker 1: I like that one. I am out got one more.
12:05
Speaker 1: Best thing to say to REX when you see them
12:07
Speaker 1: in public. My therapist hates you more than me. You reckon,
12:13
Speaker 1: You've earn him a lot of money. I was just
12:15
Speaker 1: gonna say. That's almost a compliment. Is saying like, oh,
12:18
Speaker 1: my love destroyed you so much that your therapist is like, fuck,
12:22
Speaker 1: this guy's fucked. Oh he was like super manipulative and
12:25
Speaker 1: ruined everything. Yeah. Takeaway from this is everyone's exes a trash.
12:33
Speaker 2: Yeah.
12:33
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like it's good to be
12:34
Speaker 1: in the mindset of, like, if you break up with
12:37
Speaker 1: someone they're just immediately trapped.
12:39
Speaker 2: They just suck. Everything that they used to do is
12:41
Speaker 2: annoying now.
12:42
Speaker 1: And like how you get over them? I say it's
12:44
Speaker 1: the best way, Like one of the best ways to
12:46
Speaker 1: get over someone is just fucking hate them, even if
12:48
Speaker 1: they were very they were a very nice person. Yeah,
12:51
Speaker 1: the only time I would say, let's if the kids involved,
12:54
Speaker 1: let's try and be set right now, let's try and
12:56
Speaker 1: be civil. But thanks for joining in today's episode, everybody,
13:02
Speaker 1: And look, we know you want more, that's all. It's
13:04
Speaker 1: not even a question anymore. But you know where to
13:06
Speaker 1: get it. Patreon. Yes, if you want to find out
13:08
Speaker 1: why Jake was calling me hot and attractive, not because
13:11
Speaker 1: of how I look, go find out on Patreon, even
13:14
Speaker 1: though I am five dollars a month.
13:19
Speaker 2: Link in bio.
13:20
Speaker 1: You know what to do? Enough said, I got a
13:29
Speaker 1: dilemma for you already. Okay, sweet, I've known a guy.
13:33
Speaker 1: Where would you submit a dilemma if you had one?
13:36
Speaker 1: And you're a listener right now, that's a fucking a
13:38
Speaker 1: good question, bro, Where seriously good question? Link in the
13:41
Speaker 1: Instagram virus rolled down Google docs. Also, is there a
13:45
Speaker 1: link in the description of this video? There will be
13:47
Speaker 1: linking the description of this make it people, I make
13:50
Speaker 1: it easy. If you have a dilemma, send it in.
13:51
Speaker 1: They're all anonymous. Yeah, it gives you an option, and
13:53
Speaker 1: we don't even even if some people say I don't
13:55
Speaker 1: want to be anonymous, we can't see who it is. Yeah,
13:57
Speaker 1: it's all anonymous exactly. Okay. I don't know why for
14:01
Speaker 1: that question. I've known Guy one since I was six.
14:07
Speaker 1: Everyone in my family says he's good looking and that
14:09
Speaker 1: I should get with him. I don't think he's that attractive. However,
14:13
Speaker 1: his best friend, Guy Too, is a snack, and I
14:19
Speaker 1: can't stop thinking about him. Me and Guy one are friends,
14:23
Speaker 1: but not too close. But he started to talk to
14:26
Speaker 1: me every day recently and is giving hints he likes me.
14:30
Speaker 1: Do you think we would fall out if I started
14:32
Speaker 1: getting to know Guy Too? Should I ask him if
14:35
Speaker 1: he's into me? Should I give it a go with
14:37
Speaker 1: him or the snack? Loll Let me know your thoughts.
14:40
Speaker 1: Oh right, interesting, that's not what I thought she was
14:43
Speaker 1: gonna ask.
14:44
Speaker 2: What do you think she was gonna ask?
14:45
Speaker 1: I don't know something about Why did a family like
14:47
Speaker 1: persuading him to think someone's hot?
14:49
Speaker 2: No, No, she just wants some dick. Yeah.
14:53
Speaker 1: Dose, So guy one has been on the radar since
14:58
Speaker 1: they was six years old? Hell she was? Did she?
15:01
Speaker 2: No? But I'm assuming let's just go with twenty.
15:03
Speaker 1: I don't think she's attracted the guy one obviously not. Yeah, like,
15:07
Speaker 1: why would you even was there a question there? So
15:08
Speaker 1: she's worried about having him falling out with him because
15:10
Speaker 1: she is going for his best friend and she knows
15:12
Speaker 1: that he likes her. I reckon my Okay, we'll give
15:17
Speaker 1: the right advice, which is, don't go for either of them. Yeah,
15:20
Speaker 1: don't go for guy one because you don't like him,
15:22
Speaker 1: and then don't go don't go for guy too because
15:25
Speaker 1: he's your friend's best friend and he likes you.
15:30
Speaker 2: Boring. Yeah, so boring? What's what's boring?
15:37
Speaker 1: It's pretty obvious.
15:38
Speaker 2: What the most riture thing to do is.
15:40
Speaker 1: I think you have to come up with an elaborate
15:42
Speaker 1: scheme as to why you can't be with boy one,
15:44
Speaker 1: But that leaves you with the opportunity to get with
15:47
Speaker 1: boy two. So what can that elaborate scheme be? Okay,
15:50
Speaker 1: elaborate scheme, here would go, I've got it already. Now,
15:53
Speaker 1: you don't want to hurt boy one because you've been
15:55
Speaker 1: with him for so long. Okay, he's part of that family. Yeah,
15:57
Speaker 1: he's part of the he's like you can use. He's
15:59
Speaker 1: like a.
16:02
Speaker 2: It's cold look back up. But here's what we do. Okay,
16:06
Speaker 2: we I was.
16:08
Speaker 1: I was kind of getting there, but I want you
16:10
Speaker 1: to You probably know a lot about him, but you
16:12
Speaker 1: don't know everything about him. So let's dig up some dirt.
16:14
Speaker 1: Oh all right, we want to die up some dirt.
16:15
Speaker 1: We want to dig up something that he's done in
16:17
Speaker 1: his past that would make it so you don't care
16:22
Speaker 1: about hurting his feelings. Oh right, yeah, anything. I don't
16:27
Speaker 1: know anything. As he cheated on a girlfriend, has he
16:30
Speaker 1: done I don't know, has he done anything? Like, what's
16:32
Speaker 1: something that's just going to make you get this image
16:34
Speaker 1: in your head of him that he's just not a
16:35
Speaker 1: good guy. Oh so we go into this. So so
16:38
Speaker 1: you're trying to make yourself feel better about this situation,
16:40
Speaker 1: trying to get an intimate connection, like tell me about yourself, Like,
16:44
Speaker 1: tell me what's the boy up dirt?
16:46
Speaker 2: Just like with a family.
16:47
Speaker 1: I don't even lead him on or anything, alright.
16:49
Speaker 2: I don't even ask him.
16:50
Speaker 1: And then once you have that information, you can go
16:52
Speaker 1: for guy too, oh without being upset.
16:55
Speaker 2: If the guy one gets upset, okay, and.
16:57
Speaker 1: Then you can hit him with the we're like family,
17:01
Speaker 1: We're like we've known each other since we were six. Yeah,
17:04
Speaker 1: you can't do that. I would even just play on
17:06
Speaker 1: that card straight away, just be like, Hey, what's his name?
17:10
Speaker 1: Dylan Dylan? Dylan Dylan Dylan, Like I've known you since
17:15
Speaker 1: you were six, and like I can see like you
17:17
Speaker 1: can't resist, like fair enough, You're only human, Like what
17:20
Speaker 1: can you do? But you're like you are like a
17:24
Speaker 1: brother to me in a way we've known each other
17:25
Speaker 1: for so long. But boy too or Sam, he's liked reckon,
17:31
Speaker 1: you could wingman me bro. I was just gonna say bring, Bring,
17:35
Speaker 1: invite him out for a coffee or something and be
17:37
Speaker 1: like I I just want to have a chat with you,
17:38
Speaker 1: like let's go get a coffee. You haven't chatted for
17:39
Speaker 1: a while, blah blah blah whatever, and then be like,
17:41
Speaker 1: you know, you know your friend Sam, and you could
17:44
Speaker 1: like hook me up. Yeah, And then and then it's
17:45
Speaker 1: like the message is getting across that like because he
17:48
Speaker 1: probably doesn't want you to like fully know that he
17:50
Speaker 1: likes you, so he's probably gonna be like, oh.
17:53
Speaker 2: Like, I don't know Sam's bit of a dick, Sam's bit.
17:55
Speaker 1: Of a I don't like you. I'll find out for myself, Like,
17:58
Speaker 1: let me find out. Yeah, Like, honestly I wanted that dick.
18:00
Speaker 1: That's something a girl will do sign she's not into you.
18:03
Speaker 1: She'll say, like, oh, can you wring mem me with
18:04
Speaker 1: someone on a night out or something? Fat reading between
18:08
Speaker 1: the lines. Shit, Yeah, that's such a good point. But look,
18:11
Speaker 1: let's be real. You can't go for either. Yeah, there's
18:14
Speaker 1: plenty of fish in the sea.
18:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's with it? Okay?
18:17
Speaker 1: We just have some fun. You can't go for what's
18:20
Speaker 1: with everyone? We we just we just we want we
18:25
Speaker 1: can't have Like what's with the grass is always greener
18:29
Speaker 1: on the other side. Yeah, Like, yes, look, guy to
18:32
Speaker 1: like might be a snack. You know, he might be yummy,
18:36
Speaker 1: washboard ads, tan skin, full.
18:40
Speaker 2: Head of hair.
18:44
Speaker 1: Shit, I'm getting horned, okay, And wait I was talking
18:48
Speaker 1: about dude, okay, And so he might be all those things.
18:53
Speaker 1: He might be good, he might be missed perfect, Yes,
18:55
Speaker 1: but there's more than one out there, And why do
18:58
Speaker 1: you have to do it? Does it have to be
19:00
Speaker 1: the fucking best friend of the guy that likes you
19:02
Speaker 1: and you've known since you're six he's Yeah, he only
19:05
Speaker 1: seems like the best guy ever in your head. In reality,
19:08
Speaker 1: he's not. Yeah, do you value here? Yeah, there's a
19:11
Speaker 1: question you got to ask yourself. Do you value the
19:13
Speaker 1: friendship with guy one or the potential relationship with guyso?
19:19
Speaker 1: But she's horny? Hump a pillow? Yeah, this is no Guys,
19:24
Speaker 1: do it. It's a logical thing to do. Go have
19:26
Speaker 1: a wang before you before you make a decision, and
19:29
Speaker 1: then and then think about it. Yeah, don't you don't
19:31
Speaker 1: let your hormones take over?
19:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is it?
19:33
Speaker 1: You're not supposed to make decisions when you're happy or something, right.
19:37
Speaker 1: I don't think that's it. I think it's when you're horning. Definitely,
19:40
Speaker 1: not when That's why some people's like, some guys will
19:44
Speaker 1: go to the ends of the earth to get sex
19:47
Speaker 1: because they make the decisions on the basis of horniness. Yeah,
19:50
Speaker 1: that's why some like that's why so many guys will
19:53
Speaker 1: literally immbarrass themselves by messaging like twenty girls after an
20:00
Speaker 1: e out like hey you up, Like it's just so embarrassing,
20:04
Speaker 1: worst head noise ever. The next day because then you
20:06
Speaker 1: find like everyone just denies you a lesion, REDDA doesn't
20:09
Speaker 1: open it, and then you wake up and you're like, ah,
20:11
Speaker 1: and you were just horny, and then you wake up
20:12
Speaker 1: the next day hungover and you have a wang. It's
20:15
Speaker 1: just like, I hate my life, I hate myself. Myself. Yeah,
20:18
Speaker 1: I'm never drinking again. And that said, yes, I'm never
20:21
Speaker 1: going out again and I can never show my face
20:24
Speaker 1: in public. But easy answer to di dilemma be the
20:26
Speaker 1: bigger person, keep the friendship, don't ruin the friendship to
20:29
Speaker 1: get with this boy. Yeah, I think it's worth that
20:31
Speaker 1: because you've known it since your six facts. Up next
20:41
Speaker 1: is Confession Sessions, with the prompt being Jake, when you
20:44
Speaker 1: gotta go, you gotta go. And we have a very
20:46
Speaker 1: lovely listener who you wouldn't expect to do what she did,
20:49
Speaker 1: but she has an excuse.
20:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, she does have a good excuse.
20:52
Speaker 1: And if you want to submit a Confession Sessions in
20:54
Speaker 1: our Lincoln, there'll be linking this episode and then it's
20:57
Speaker 1: also in our bio on Instagram, Google document, go down.
21:00
Speaker 1: There's prompts on there for what you should send in.
21:02
Speaker 1: We haven't had a bad first date for a while.
21:04
Speaker 1: There's a few in there. They're not as juicy as that.
21:06
Speaker 1: When you've got to go, you got to.
21:07
Speaker 2: Go, You've got to go, you got to go.
21:09
Speaker 1: It is kind of like default juicy because like hence juicy.
21:12
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I say, yeah, get some get
21:14
Speaker 1: some bad first dates up. Please enjoy confession Sessions. Hello, Hello,
21:21
Speaker 1: welcome to confession session. How are you going?
21:25
Speaker 3: I'm good?
21:25
Speaker 1: Thank you, Holli you I'm really good. That might have
21:28
Speaker 1: been the best pick up we've ever had, the most
21:31
Speaker 1: excited we've had.
21:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was awesome.
21:34
Speaker 3: I'm so excited. You guys are my favorite podcast.
21:37
Speaker 1: You love that. Thanks for submitting a confession session. First
21:43
Speaker 1: things first, our favorite listener, give me that already. First
21:48
Speaker 1: things first is would you like to be anonymous to
21:49
Speaker 1: tell your story? Oh?
21:51
Speaker 3: Please?
21:52
Speaker 1: Please? And is there a name you'd like to be called?
21:54
Speaker 1: Do you want me and Jake to come up with
21:56
Speaker 1: one for you?
21:56
Speaker 3: You guys, come up with that's completely.
21:59
Speaker 1: Fine, come up with some. The good thing about this
22:00
Speaker 1: is I don't actually know it's fully anonymous to me.
22:03
Speaker 1: I've forgotten Jake, so you've forgotten the story.
22:07
Speaker 2: I thought you forgot the story. Okay, I thought you
22:08
Speaker 2: forgot a name. I was like, Jesus Christ, I want
22:12
Speaker 2: to go with something different, Like, we've.
22:14
Speaker 1: Got to give her a good one. She's our favorite
22:15
Speaker 1: one so far. Oh true, Let's go like something unique
22:18
Speaker 1: like Hope, Hope, Hope Hope. Funny thing is that someone
22:26
Speaker 1: that likes the podcast is never going to disagree with.
22:32
Speaker 2: Say no, yeah, but Hope.
22:33
Speaker 1: You have a story. When you got to go, you
22:35
Speaker 1: got to go. So if you want to take her
22:37
Speaker 1: from the top, don't leave out any details. And me
22:39
Speaker 1: and Jake love these stories, so go ahead.
22:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay. So at the time, it was maybe like
22:47
Speaker 3: three months ago, I was basically being tested five. Yes,
22:52
Speaker 3: so that's just the tip of the I said. But
22:56
Speaker 3: at the time I wasn't one hundred sure if I
22:58
Speaker 3: have it or not or what like kind of set
23:01
Speaker 3: me off. But I was at my boyfriend's house on
23:03
Speaker 3: a Saturday night and he was like, oh, let's have
23:05
Speaker 3: some burg and then go to Time Zone And I
23:08
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, why not, Like you know what harm
23:10
Speaker 3: can it cause, so quickly had a burger, we went
23:13
Speaker 3: out at the time Zone.
23:14
Speaker 1: Tom it's like an arcade, yeah, arcade.
23:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's like it's an arcade. Yeah, And my stomach
23:22
Speaker 3: was really starting to hurt and I was starting to
23:24
Speaker 3: was so swirmy. But I was like oh, in my head,
23:28
Speaker 3: like stop being silly, like you need to have gun.
23:31
Speaker 3: And then it got to the point I looked at
23:33
Speaker 3: my boyfriend, grabbed his arm and was like, I'm going
23:36
Speaker 3: to crasp my pants in the middle of this arcade
23:38
Speaker 3: with these children around me, Like we need to go.
23:42
Speaker 3: So we quickly got home and then oh so bad
23:48
Speaker 3: this bit. So I was like, Okay, I'm going to
23:50
Speaker 3: go the toilet, I'm going to have a shower, and
23:52
Speaker 3: then I'm going to go to bed because I just
23:54
Speaker 3: don't feel good. So I quickally go to toilet, do
23:57
Speaker 3: what I need to do, and I offered the shower
24:00
Speaker 3: and I started washing myself and then I trusted a
24:03
Speaker 3: little far and then as I've gone to grab my
24:07
Speaker 3: soul for something, I stepped back into like a sludge
24:16
Speaker 3: right away. I was like, oh my god, I shout myself, Hey, if.
24:23
Speaker 2: You're going to do it somewhere, you may as well
24:25
Speaker 2: do it in the shower.
24:26
Speaker 1: And you didn't even realize he was.
24:28
Speaker 3: I didn't even know.
24:30
Speaker 2: Wait, you didn't even feel it coming out.
24:34
Speaker 3: Well, that's part is like an idea soup tune before
24:37
Speaker 3: you like you're medigating that you have no idea.
24:40
Speaker 1: Oh my god, God.
24:45
Speaker 2: Is worse.
24:46
Speaker 3: Oh it gets worse.
24:49
Speaker 1: Go on, This is fense. This is fense.
24:53
Speaker 3: So first of all, I stepped on it, and I've gone,
24:56
Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm about to lose. But then second
25:01
Speaker 3: of all, well, where my boyfriend lives. He lives in
25:04
Speaker 3: like the basement of his house, so there's no plumbing.
25:07
Speaker 3: It's basically a cemented like drain underneath the shower, like
25:12
Speaker 3: it's a box. It doesn't go anywhere. So immediately I
25:18
Speaker 3: was like, I'm going to have to dispose of this,
25:20
Speaker 3: but this is gonna clog up the shower off.
25:24
Speaker 1: Why So.
25:30
Speaker 3: I've quickly just grabbed the end of like a slap
25:33
Speaker 3: despenser and shoved it all down and put so all
25:35
Speaker 3: over it and pretended nothing happened. Ran out of my
25:38
Speaker 3: boyfriend's room, and I'm like, oh my god, this has
25:42
Speaker 3: just happened, Like what the hell am I going to do?
25:45
Speaker 3: And he was just looking at me like I can't
25:47
Speaker 3: believe my dating.
25:48
Speaker 4: And then and then what makes it even more is
25:53
Speaker 4: that his brother also is in that basement area, so
25:57
Speaker 4: he's gone in to have a shower and come out
26:01
Speaker 4: like not even twenty seconds late and got it.
26:03
Speaker 3: Smell was so bad in there. What happened?
26:08
Speaker 1: You warned him?
26:12
Speaker 4: He was like, what is the water overfore?
26:14
Speaker 1: We you did enough clog in the drain?
26:19
Speaker 4: O dide I do?
26:20
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god. And then my
26:23
Speaker 3: boyfriend actually was just like, oh, we did that this morning,
26:26
Speaker 3: Like he took the cover of blossom because he didn't
26:28
Speaker 3: want me to feel like so overwhelmed.
26:31
Speaker 2: What a good boyfriend.
26:32
Speaker 3: He is the biggest green flag. And then the next
26:36
Speaker 3: day we wake up and his mum is on the
26:40
Speaker 3: phone to a plumber trying to get the best way
26:43
Speaker 3: to unclog in the shower.
26:46
Speaker 2: That's what's so weird.
26:47
Speaker 1: That they didn't have a plumb might give you a
26:48
Speaker 1: benefit of a doubt that it was already a pretty
26:50
Speaker 1: bad system. And what wasn't you you're doing?
26:54
Speaker 3: It's it was. It's a pretty weird thing because it's
26:57
Speaker 3: a basement, so there's not a lot of like als
27:00
Speaker 3: is down there. But I can tell you I don't
27:02
Speaker 3: think i've been back to the house in really, are.
27:05
Speaker 1: You still dating your boyfriend? Yeah?
27:08
Speaker 2: I just always go to your house we always.
27:11
Speaker 3: Tread in my house because I'm not. Oh, my god
27:12
Speaker 3: is brother knows what happened.
27:14
Speaker 2: That's crazy.
27:15
Speaker 1: But did you end up finding out that you get
27:17
Speaker 1: diagnosed by bys? Yes, it's nothing I could do about it.
27:24
Speaker 1: It's discriminating against you if you get given ship for
27:28
Speaker 1: it too soon.
27:32
Speaker 3: I got that palm. Yeah, at least I had a reason.
27:38
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's mortifying. I tell you, when I stepped
27:41
Speaker 3: back into that sludge, my heart's rocked.
27:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't say I've ever stepped through my own
27:47
Speaker 1: shit of you.
27:47
Speaker 3: I can't.
27:49
Speaker 1: No, I never have. I can't believe that you were
27:53
Speaker 1: at the arcade and got home in time. That's something
27:57
Speaker 1: that I don't I'd never been diagnosed BYBA, but that's
28:00
Speaker 1: something I couldn't do well.
28:02
Speaker 3: I had enough dignity to not do it there, but
28:04
Speaker 3: obviously not enough to not do it this.
28:07
Speaker 1: He lost control, You lost control. We're finding out it's
28:10
Speaker 1: a relatable thing, hope. So I wouldn't care too much.
28:13
Speaker 1: I'd go back to my boyfriend's owner. It's just me ibs.
28:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not When you look down the drain, you should.
28:21
Speaker 1: Tell your boyfriend it's to go. Listen to this episode
28:23
Speaker 1: and if then come back.
28:26
Speaker 3: Oh my god. He was like, I'm going to play
28:27
Speaker 3: it for my family.
28:29
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, what he knows you're
28:31
Speaker 2: coming on here.
28:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, I told him and.
28:34
Speaker 2: He said he's going to play it for his family.
28:37
Speaker 3: And I was like, if you do that touches the end.
28:40
Speaker 1: Better make the rest of the episode. All right, Hope,
28:45
Speaker 1: thank you very much for coming on. And that was
28:47
Speaker 1: a funny story.
28:48
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me.
28:50
Speaker 1: That's all right, enjoy the rest of your day.
28:53
Speaker 3: Thank you. You guys are awesome.
28:55
Speaker 2: You you two.
28:57
Speaker 1: What a legend. I've never I've never shit in the
29:00
Speaker 1: shower maybe, I mean, I know she did it accidentally,
29:03
Speaker 1: Neiver if I I've only I've skulled a protein shake
29:06
Speaker 1: and vomited everywhere in the shower. Really, Yeah, it went
29:08
Speaker 1: down the wrong. I just couldn't keep it down.
29:10
Speaker 2: I don't even remember like the last time.
29:13
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of, like a the situation she
29:17
Speaker 1: was in. So she would have just been standing there
29:20
Speaker 1: in a mess, clearly like she just stood in pooh,
29:22
Speaker 1: and she's probably thinking like she's she's going well, she's
29:25
Speaker 1: like she's like, at least I'm in the shower but
29:27
Speaker 1: then she goes, oh wait, it's not plumped, probably, so
29:29
Speaker 1: then she's in this like heart dropping situation of what
29:31
Speaker 1: the fuck do I do now? And the only thing
29:34
Speaker 1: I can really imagine is I only get that when
29:38
Speaker 1: I'm like busting, busting, and I'm really not anywhere near
29:42
Speaker 1: a toilet. And that's when I start to think, like
29:44
Speaker 1: I'll start looking at places to go like you did
29:48
Speaker 1: when you went in the bush. I'm like, fuck, what
29:50
Speaker 1: it's like I could go there and no one to
29:51
Speaker 1: see me, and can go there and no one see me,
29:52
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. That's the only time I can think
29:54
Speaker 1: like I'm losing control here. The intensity of this situation
29:57
Speaker 1: is like heightened too when you're at your boyfriend's place,
29:59
Speaker 1: like even when I was like when I'm dating my
30:00
Speaker 1: girlfriend like earlier days, like and I'm going to take
30:02
Speaker 1: a shit, like I'm still conscious of my surroundings. This
30:05
Speaker 1: one is like a nice clean one, you know what
30:06
Speaker 1: I mean, Snap it off, no skin mark, So I
30:10
Speaker 1: bet you she was like as soon as she's like,
30:12
Speaker 1: why doesn't have to be in my boyfriend's house? Is
30:14
Speaker 1: so much worse. And then the brother comes out of
30:17
Speaker 1: the thing and goes.
30:18
Speaker 2: It stinks in here?
30:20
Speaker 1: Also, what a fucking like? I feel like I wouldn't
30:23
Speaker 1: even do that because I would go in let's say
30:26
Speaker 1: my brother had a girl over. Oh yeah, if my
30:28
Speaker 1: brother had a girlfriend over and the toilet stank, I'd
30:30
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, look, it's likely not her, but if
30:33
Speaker 1: it is her, I'm not going to embarrass her.
30:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to embarrass the poor girl.
30:36
Speaker 1: It could have been like fifteen. My younger brother would
30:41
Speaker 1: definitely walk at me like if fucking who did that?
30:48
Speaker 1: It's natural. We should normalize it. It stinks, as you know.
31:00
Speaker 1: I like to send the odd poem to my my
31:04
Speaker 1: lovely lady. He's a lovely boy, my lovely lady. He's
31:07
Speaker 1: got to go above and beyond because the hair is
31:09
Speaker 1: not staying.
31:12
Speaker 2: You think you're funny?
31:13
Speaker 1: Everyone seriously, everyone in their car right now. Anyone that's
31:16
Speaker 1: laughing right now that's listening to this, they're laughing.
31:19
Speaker 2: Seriously.
31:20
Speaker 1: He's ugly prove everyone wrong and pull back the hair. Okay,
31:26
Speaker 1: that's right to ignore you, that's right all right now.
31:30
Speaker 1: I mean I I do these like without wanting to
31:32
Speaker 1: put them on the podcast. I just kind of radomly
31:34
Speaker 1: thought to put this on there. So today was a
31:36
Speaker 1: good one.
31:37
Speaker 2: I like today's one.
31:37
Speaker 1: Actually, hopefully, hopefully Best doesn't care that I'm saying this. Okay,
31:42
Speaker 1: roses are read. I am your man. I love you
31:46
Speaker 1: so much. I'm your biggest fan. Oh good one. Yeah,
31:49
Speaker 1: that's great.
31:50
Speaker 2: That's good.
31:50
Speaker 3: Right.
31:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, why would you? I thought you were going to
31:52
Speaker 1: say something about it boobs or something. No, no, no, I
31:54
Speaker 1: just I was like, because like I didn't want it
31:56
Speaker 1: to think like I'm just doing this for content, Like, actually,
31:59
Speaker 1: that was very sweet there, but now that's when I
32:01
Speaker 1: send to her. She sent one back, but maybe I'll
32:03
Speaker 1: talk around, say if she see if she can't get
32:05
Speaker 1: permission for that one. What she sends back it was
32:07
Speaker 1: nice too. But that's it. Everybody. Thanks everybody for tuning in.
32:09
Speaker 1: Go out there and find some love, like love a
32:11
Speaker 1: boy over here starts. But we appreciate you and we
32:15
Speaker 1: will see you on Wednesday's episode. Love you bye,