Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / October 5, 2017 | Men Of Success - Fall 2017, Session 3 - The Question Behind The Question

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October 5, 2017 | Men Of Success - Fall 2017, Session 3 - The Question Behind The Question · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Good morning, men.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Here we are in our third week.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Hope you guys are starting to feel like men of success.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: So um and I've just seen a few new faces.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um Jerry Krieger was telling me this morning, I think they we fixed uh Tom fixed for like 80 guys.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like this is pretty amazing to see this many guys out this morning for um men of success.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, um I decided this morning when I got up at about five till six, well, I just and for whatever reason, I think God said, Why don't you check your calendar today?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, men of success.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, so I almost was not a um a very good team player, you know, since uh that was our topic last week.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: But um anyway, I see we've got uh Jason filling in for um uh for Jim.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: So uh without much else to say, I'm gonna turn it over to these guys and uh let them talk to us about QBQ.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: QBQ.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Cool.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Appreciate that, Paul.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: Hey Jason, how's it going, Derek?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is gonna be fun.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because you are a very sanguine personality, very energetic, off the cuff, all those things, correct?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, yeah.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, absolutely.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be awesome.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sanguine.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Not a penguin, sanguine.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Let's thank Tom this morning and also Eric.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Eric Barbecue's Eric is awesome.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, he's over there, and then Zach Glenn.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you guys for bringing in the breakfast, and thank you to Dickie's Barbecue, where Eric is.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thanks for providing all that for us.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely one of the highlight moments of our mornings.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: And also, Sam and West, thanks for hooking up all the tech stuff and getting all that together.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: We really appreciate all of that.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Anytime you can have a breakfast with picane sauce and barbecue sauce, it's a good breakfast in my book.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: So I think we made it.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't you have a sports update or something for us?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Something that was really important this week.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we used to do sports updates, and I I kind of missed them.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: But Chiefs 4-0.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's I'm a KU fan, so that's all I got.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Do any of you guys happen to be Patriots fans?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: No, except Derek.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: I saw it, I saw a hand.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: He was a man.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: He was like some more barbecue.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, Patriots, no.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: Derek's a Patriots fan, so that was a good first week for us.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: For those of you guys who are new this morning, maybe this is your very first time, we're going through a series on different personal and professional development leadership books.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And through this series, it's going to last until the week right before Thanksgiving.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll meet here every Thursday, 6.15.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then if you miss any of the weeks, you will be able to go online, discover TBC.com, and you can check out the audio recording of any of the past week's uh series that we've done.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: And also, we tried out something different thanks to Kelly at the idea of sending out an email with kind of a little summary or review of what we're going to be talking about for the next week.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so you guys can expect those coming out on Thursdays for what we're going to be covering for the next week.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: For those of you guys who like to get ahead and or even read the book for what we're going to be covering.
• 3:29
  unknown: Cool.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we get to start the QBQ, the question behind the question.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone had anyone heard of this book or read this book before the study started?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Uh the first time I heard it recommended was through Dave Ramsey, through his uh show, and I really like Dave Ramsey, so uh I figure it's pretty good if he recommends it.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so basically, part of the impetus for this book or why John G.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Miller even wrote this book is because he was doing consulting at different firms, different organizations, different companies, and in some of his consulting and training and learning type activities, he found that a lot of the places he went to, if not every place that he went to, there was always somebody with this mentality.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, that's not that's not that's not my department.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: A problem comes up, sorry, we don't we don't work with that.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, I can't help because it's not my department.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: And he he was really conflicted by that and was like, there's there's gotta be a better way to do this than everybody just complaining.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: And if you run a company or have a lot of workers underneath you, this is a great thing to have them read because personal accountability is important, and I think it's better, uh, it would be easier if you didn't have to teach all your employees how to be personally accountable coming from you.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: They could just learn it on their own and then be better employees that way, and then you won't have to do it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: I think this is a huge, huge issue, and I think it starts when we're very young.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: I was telling Derek as I was reading this book, uh, my son Athen, who is nine years old, my oldest son, he uh I was reading this book and we're talking about personal accountability and responsibility and taking initiative, and I was reading this book and I heard, just happened to hear the dog kind of barking outside.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I so said to my son, hey Athen, does Brownie have water?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: His name dog's name, Brownie.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: Is he have any water out there?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, I don't know, I didn't take him out.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: I thought, hmm.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I told him, well, the fact that he needs water doesn't really have any and doesn't have any bearing on the fact that if you took him out or not.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, Well, I think Henley took him out, so I think you should ask her if she if he has water.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: I said, No, I think you should go check and see if he has water.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, Okay, I'll go do that.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: And then I told him, you may need to go out and see if there's water and then bring the bowl in.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: If there's not and fill it up and bring it back out, it might take two trips.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: I very was very specific to say take two trips.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, Okay.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: And he ran outside, and then like two minutes later, the dog was inside.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, and Athen was running around doing something else.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Athen, come here.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: He said, Yeah.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Did you hear what I said?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: He said, Yeah.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Why is the dog inside?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Bring water out there.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: I even said you might need to take two trips.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: He said, Well, I didn't really hear what you said, I just said okay.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, man, this personal accountability needs to start a little, really young.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: It really does, though.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it is one of those virtues that we all know is really important.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like inside, we all know that personal accountability is important, and we really expect it out of others.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's very important for others, it's very important for everyone else.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because we want them to be accountable for all their mistakes or problems or fixing things.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes we just don't practice it ourselves.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like this guy who nobody wanted to move the thing out of the road and said, that's not my problem, so we're just gonna go ahead and paint over it.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: So we don't have to worry about it.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Act like it's not there.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: It took me a while to see what that was, actually.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: Here's a few little things.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Don't look at me, it's his responsibility.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: Pointing at each other.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: Does that I'm gonna say that kind of resembles maybe Mark?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: No, it doesn't.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: This boxes would be very handy, actually, in my office.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: In out, not my job.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Does anybody actually have one of these?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'll take that as a yes from those who chuckled.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: Or one of these.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, glad the hole isn't at our end.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: These guys up top are smiling, and the guys at the bottom are frantically trying to get the water out.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: They must not have ever seen Titanic.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: What happens when the top of the boat goes up?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: Then whoo.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so here's some of these questions that sometimes we ask ourselves.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Why is this happening happening to me?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: Why do they make it so difficult for me to do my job?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: And when is somebody going to train me?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: Where's the training come in?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Where's where's the leadership?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: When am I going to be mentored by somebody else?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Who's going to be responsible for my development?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe I'm here and I'm new.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: Who's going to be the person to do that?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: And why aren't they doing that?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Do you ever have any experiences with those types of questions?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, of course.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: I think that everyone probably does has have some of that, or I think it's kind of human nature if you have a job and you're just, you know, every once in a while that you're kind of like, why do I have to do this?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: Or this is this is because this other person didn't do it.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, I heard an interview uh with Rich Gannon uh this last week, uh former Chiefs quarterback, and should have been the quarterback when they were in the playoffs and they let Elvis Gerback play.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: And actually, it was funny because they were interviewing Rich Gannon and they talked about a time, he's like he was talking about a game they're playing the Patriots, and the first thing he said was, Well, Elvis Gerback was our quarterback, and we were getting smoked.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, he was the backup quarterback.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: And if you don't know the story, Rich Gannon was a backup quarterback.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: Elvis Gerback got hurt, Rich Gannon came into play and did really well, but then they said, Hey, Elvis Gerback lost his job for an injury, so they did let Elvis Gerback come back in and play in the playoffs, and we lost.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: Then Rich Gannon went the next year and was the MVP of the league and played for the Raiders.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: So, uh, which still kind of that's not a good thing as a Chiefs fan.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: But it was funny to me because that's what the I mean, I I just finished this book, I knew we were doing this study, and I was just listening to Sports Talk Radio, and I heard, and he said, This was not my job.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't being the quarterback, we were getting smoked.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't like, hey, we were losing to the Patriots or our team wasn't doing very well.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: It was like, no, I should have been the quarterback, but you know, I wasn't, they weren't letting me, and I was getting smoked, you know, and it just is it just hit me as kind of funny that you hear this all the time that passing the buck or not being a team player, or it's not my you can't think it's my fault kind of thing.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think that's human nature, really, to that you fall back on if you're not thinking it through.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: If you guys have ever, a lot of you guys have played sports, especially team sports, when somebody misses their block, or somebody doesn't run the right play in basketball and misses you know the backdoor cut, or somebody is playing center field and they didn't quite dive for the ball, and maybe they could have had it.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: Usually these questions come up.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: Why didn't you do that?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Who was supposed to tackle that person?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Who was supposed to fill that hole?
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: Who was supposed to do that?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Why did this play get intercepted?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: And as a member of that team, it can get really frustrating when you hear people or even yourself are asking these questions.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it reminds me of of football because you've got typically you've got you know 11 guys on the field, sometimes eight.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you're an eight-man, sometimes twelve Tom, and then they get a penalty, sometimes twelve, and then that's not good.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: But each person has their own specific role.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: There's no no two people who have the same role.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: And if you guys have played football or coached football, you've heard the story of well, why'd you block that guy?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, he missed his block, so I had to go get him.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but then who's doing your job?
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then the quarterback gets smoked, and it's not fun.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: What about these kind of questions?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: I think that you know, he said questions like, how can I contribute?
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: You know, how can I do a better job today?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: Those kind of questions.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, if you're just sitting in a study and reading, if you want to ask, why is this happening to me?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: Why can't my boss do better?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: Why can't I be trained?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Or how can I contribute?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, this sounds probably everyone would I guess would say this is exactly how we'd rather sound, not a complain or not, you know, what can I do to solve the problem?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: I assume that we all know in our cognitive thinking that this is the right way to be.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: Just sometimes the behavior gets in the way.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: So these I mean, these types of questions, how can I contribute?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: How can I do my job better?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: What can I do to develop myself?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of asking, man, when is this company gonna have somebody to come and mentor me and train me and make me better in this specific area?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: What we should be asking, and what Miller's advocating for, is to say, well, how can I drive my development?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Who can I reach out to to go get that development?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Who do I know who's really good at this thing that I want to be better at?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: And how can I be proactive to go and make that that initial contact?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um says one of the guiding principles of the QBQ is the answers are in the questions, which speaks the same truth.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: If we ask a better question, will we get a better answer?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the answer is yes.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: He makes a big deal about in the book about what how you ask a question instead of saying why, who, or when, like why is this happening, or when is this going to happen, say how can I how can I affect change, or how can I do better even though this may not be happening, or uh what is my responsibility in it, and just starting the sentence off with a different word may uh help you get a different different tone of the way you ask it.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of looking, instead of looking for others to solve the problem, rather than pointing the finger at blame, we should turn the finger back towards ourselves and figure out okay, what's what's my responsibility?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: What is is the question behind the question?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: He says, according to Miller, personal accountability is about asking the right questions.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think one of the interesting things, Jason and I were talking yesterday or the day before, was that this whole idea of the question behind the question and thinking about you know what can I do in my personal accountability is it starts with our thoughts.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: It starts with our mentality of not playing the victim card of man, all of this is happening to me.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: This organization is happening to me, this situation is happening to me, this boss is doing this thing and it's happening to me, and I have no control.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: So they everyone else needs to fix their stuff so that way I can be successful and I can do what I need to do.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: And he's saying this backwards.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: He does make a pretty big case for your thoughts really matter, and that you can always control your thoughts, that you do have control of your inner thinking and inner inner thoughts, and uh even goes into he even says in the book about stress uh that he feels like stress is a choice.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_02: And that was kind of when I read that, I was like, uh, okay, I kind of see what where you're coming from.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: But I mean, everyone has stress in their life, and he was at a conference speaking uh to, and he is an example in the book, he's talking to this conference, he was talking about how stress is your choice.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: And this lady came up and said, No, stress is comes from the outside, you can't have any control over it.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: I totally disagree with you.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna spend the next 30 days collecting data and uh gonna I'm gonna send you an email to prove you wrong.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: He said, Okay, I look forward to your email.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: And then at the end of the 30 days, he actually got an email from her saying, Okay, I can't prove that you're wrong.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you know, I I see now that different situations causes a different amount of stress for certain different people, and maybe does have something to do with how we respond to it and how we think about a problem.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: And so I thought that was an interesting part of the book, too, just even looking about stress.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: Who in here, okay, this may be going off on a tangent, but I'll take a chance here.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so who here is married?
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of us are married.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um, have you ever had the exact same situation in your life, and your wife is a little more stressed out about it than you are?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: Or is that just me?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: No, no one's to raise their head.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: This is gonna be mine.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: This is gonna be recorded.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: But and it just that's to me, when I when I was reading the book, I was thinking about it.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: I I tend to take things fairly in stride more than my wife does.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of times, she'll she'll get really, really worked up about something more than I will.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: And that made sense when I read this book is sometimes it's how you process it, it's not just necessarily what the situation is, but how you can process and work through it and try to grow through whatever stress is stressing you out.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: So, kind of the the formula is you know, the the question begins with a what or a how, a what or a how.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then it contains an I.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: So an I statement.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: If any of you guys, we won't ask you to raise your hands, but if any of you guys have been to any type of marriage or relationship counseling or any of that.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: Enrichment.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Enrichment, yes, not counseling, or enrichment.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: I've been there, I've heard you know this exact concept of when there's things that you're frustrated with, either you know, with your spouse or any other relational person, relational being, it really helps to ask those I statements or ask those I questions.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of why didn't you not make the bed, not do the dishes, not do the laundry, not do whatever?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: We can say, what can I do to help?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: Or I feel blank, I felt hurt, or I felt disrespected.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: So does that mean that we should say, like, how can I make you make sure that you do the dishes?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: I think I think if we do that in front of it and then directly use you as so like I think you didn't do what you're supposed to do is probably not what he's talking about.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, maybe he didn't mean it that way.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then the last part of it is it focuses on an action.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: It focuses on a specific thing.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: So how can I ask for help?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: How can I help in this particular situation to make it better?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um these are some more questions.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: What why do we have to go through all this change?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe a better question is how can I adapt to the changing world?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: Or who dropped the ball?
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: What can I do to make a difference?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: When will we get better systems?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure if you guys are in business, you've never heard that before.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: When are we gonna why why don't we update this thing?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't we get a better system?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't we have better software?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't we have better machines?
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't we have more whatever?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: But instead, how can I succeed with the tools I have?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: And why can't they do it right?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: How can I contribute to their success is a better question.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: Just a second, though.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so it says when are we gonna get better systems?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: But sometimes the systems are bad.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, I would rather say that almost every almost every organization has some sort of system or some sort of process that is at least on life support or somewhat broken.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: Does that mean that we have to say, oh well, it's all broken, we don't care, we're just gonna go move forward with it and just ignore it?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, don't improve anything ever, I think.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: No, just kidding.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: When when I was reading the book, it was this is one thing that it that another thing that stuck out to me was uh he made that point that every single organization, every single place you've ever worked, most likely, has something that you think should be improved upon, a system that could be improved upon, because there's no perfect organizations.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: But he made the point in there that if you if you can't, if you say different things about your organization at home than you do at work.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: So at work, you know you're a good team player, oh yeah, this is a great company, and then you go home and it's like, yeah, this company's horrible, I can't believe they're doing this, and it's a total total thing.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: He talks about being being creative.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_02: He he says, instead of just thinking, how do we always think out of the outside the box, always think about changing what's broken, how can we do our best to work within the system?
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because every single uh company organization, you fill in the blank, has some sort of systems that are somewhat broken, but how are we going to work through them within the box, within what is happening?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: And then he also says, which I thought was pretty bold of him, that you either need to, you know, fall in line with what's going on in your company, your work, your job, or leave.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like he says, believe or leave.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: So I thought that was a pretty bold thing to say, but also when uh the more I think about it, I'm like, yeah, it makes a lot of sense.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_02: If you can't get behind, you know, if something is so broken you can't get behind your your company works mission, whatever you're trying to accomplish, then maybe it's time to either believe or leave, which is kind of a scary thought, too, maybe.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh there's ten truths about personal accountability.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um we'll put some of these slides back up at the end.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: Don't necessarily have to go through theirs.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: Some of the quotes God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change to the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: So a little a little change on the on the typical prayer.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: I like this one.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: You read this one?
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: When is somebody going to train me?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_02: And why don't I get more coaching?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: Accountable people know personal growth is just that.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_02: Personal.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: Ask what can I do today to develop myself?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so that's how to waste your life.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Just continually ask when is everybody else going to train me?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: And never take any responsibility for making any initiative, is basically kind of what he's saying.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Personal accountability may mean saying it's my mess and I'll clean it up.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Take ownership today.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: This whole slide, managers can't change people, co-workers can't change colleagues, parent ch parents can't change kids, and so on down the list.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it's this thing that we all know is that we can't change anybody, no matter how much we do.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Because at the end of the day, every person is responsible for their own actions, for their own speech, for their own performance, for anything that they can do, only they are responsible for it, and nobody else is, and we can't make them change.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe after my first story I shared, I need to get one of these books, The Parenting, the Hubie Key Way, Hubie Q Way or Raising Accountable Kids.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: Those are the resources if you can't get enough of the question behind the question.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Those are also yeah, great hot sellers from this author, and it kind of takes that that idea of personal accountability and then place it into these different arenas of parenting and then with kids.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: Common mistake is enabling a child and enabling a child is make is habit forming for parent and child.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: If you're always trying to make the right decision for your child, they're gonna expect it and you're always you're gonna have to do it.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: If you guys we've heard a lot about millennials in the past few years or so.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, they're lazy, they don't want to work, they they have no work ethic, you know, kind of all of these different things.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I would imagine that probably a lot of that is maybe that they, as they were growing up, maybe they weren't given responsibility for these different things or weren't you know made to practice that personal accountability.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_02: Participation trophies, snowflake.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, those are awesome.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone's a winner, right?
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to do anything.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: You can be horrible and you still get first place.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: Did you know that the fastest way to change a child is to change the parent?
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, not a new parent, just the one who looks in the mirror and admits the need for help and proceeds to learn new skills.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: So stop playing the blame game, basically.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: So, like we always do, or like you and Jim always do, and like it just fill in, we try to evaluate because it's we're here to learn, we're here to grow, we're here to be better parents, workers, better leaders.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: But is this biblical?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's the game we play at the end.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so Romans 14, 12, every one of us is going to give an account of himself to God.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: So, us as believers, once we enter into that presence and we're we're standing before God, each of us are going to have to give an account, not of what everybody else did or what everybody else thought or everybody else said, but we have to give an account for our actions, for what we did before the Lord.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: When talking about the blame game, as soon as sin entered the world, there was the man said to the woman, the woman made me eat it.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: You gave this woman to me.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's true, and she made me eat it.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then he goes on to Eve.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: So really he says, God, it's either your fault or Eve's fault.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's definitely not my fault.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they just gave it to me.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: I just I I had to eat it, forced it down my throat.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: This one.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_02: I like the well, yeah.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: This is uh a cartoon one.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm being a children's pastor, we had to put a cartoon one there.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: But Colossians 3 23, when I worked at the Christian school, we really taught the kids this one a lot.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know, whatever you do, work uh for the Lord and not for men.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_02: Work as hard as you can for the for the Lord as working for the Lord and not for men.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I thought that applied with this, yeah.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: Uh not blaming others, not being not blaming a situation, but saying, whatever I can do, I'm gonna work as hard as I can because I'm really working for God, not for my my boss necessarily.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, maybe immediately, but ultimately for God.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: How do we how do we go out of our way to work as hard as we can?
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: One of the stories in the book was there was a a checker lady who was at Home Depot, and she had a guy come up, and she he she could tell that he was really in a hurry and really needed to get out the door to get wherever he needed to go.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: And he bought just a few things, and the total was like two dollars and some odd cents.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so he put down a hundred dollar bill, and she didn't have change for that hundred dollar bill.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: And in order to get that change, she would have had to send it, you know, to the office and then get the change back, and that would probably have taken about 20 minutes.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: And she knew that this guy was in a hurry.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so what she did was she went and took that two dollars and some odd cents out of her purse, paid for it, gave the guy the receipt, the merchandise, and his hundred dollar bill, and said, Thanks, have a great day.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: And he's kind of like, Wait, what?
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, thanks.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: And he he had to go and he was in a hurry.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: And later, the manager came up to her the next day or so and said, Hey, there's this tip that this guy left for you for 50 bucks.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: We know he can't give it to you as an employee of Home Depot, but um, is there something that you like to do with it?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, Yeah, let's put it in the pizza fund so that way we can all win-win.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone gets pizza.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's that of going the extra mile, going the extra step.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: Not saying that we need to pay for everyone's stuff whenever we're anywhere, but it's always a good thing to do, especially if you're on the receiving end.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_02: And in that, in that story, after they got the pizza money, that wasn't necessarily the end of the story.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the rest of the story was that he came back with his, they hit the guy that was there owned a construction company, him and his dad came back and and met this lady that had done this act of kindness and taken initiative, and he said, you know, from now on we're gonna buy everything from Home Depot.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_02: And they got a ton more business for the for the Home Depot.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: And he he just made the point of it even one little act of taking initiative can go a really long way.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_02: You just never know how far it's gonna go.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Finally, brothers, whatever's true, whatever's honorable, whatever's just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there's any excellence, if there's anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that's Philippians 4.8.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: That thought process.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: Your thought, yeah, not victim mentality.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: This is great.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: Charlie Brown.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: This is Philippians 4 2 14.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh do everything without complaining, full verse, do everything without you know complaining or grumbling.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: And that's so true.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so the point, and he has a couple of different questions or scenarios at the at the end that I think are really important for us to think about.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: And Jason and I were talking about some of these situations of, okay, so if we're in management or we're leading people in any type of way, and they're really not doing what they're supposed to do, does that mean that we just do their job for them because we see it?
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, we were talking about that.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: We're talking about picking up popcans for our workers.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: So do you, as the manager, is it then your responsibility, and you just do it and don't say anything to them or don't say, hey, why did you do this?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: And he, John Miller gives a few comments in the back of, no, we're still called to hold others accountable.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: We're still called to manage well, we're still called to lead well, we're still called to coach and train and help and develop those who are around us, but it's it's the mentality that's different.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: Are we taking care of everything that we can do on our part?
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: Are we practicing everything we can do?
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: Are we taking responsibility for everything we can do and then coaching them?
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things in an interview that I looked up, he actually based this book off of Matthew 7, 1 through 5, which in a nutshell basically says, Why are you pointing out the plank or the speck in your brother's eye when you've got a plank in your own eye?
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: So are we more concerned about pointing out and complaining and grumbling about what everyone else is doing and neglecting to look at us and say, okay, what can I do to help the situation?
• 31:19
  unknown: Absolutely.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: So let's go ahead and say this memory verse together.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: Do everything without complaining.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: Flip it in 214.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: So next week, How the Mighty Fall, I think you guys picked that up over there.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's a book by Jim Collins, How These Great Organizations Can Come Do Complete Demise, and basically what we can do about it.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: Another thing, this entree leadership podcast, on a side note, if you can't get enough of leadership stuff and you like podcasts, or if you've never had learn listen to podcasts, this is a good one.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: Entree leadership, Dave Ramsey Leadership Podcast.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_02: He has a lot of really awesome people like Jim Collins that he's interviewed before and John Miller too.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_02: So perfect.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: So at your table, there are small group questions.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: They're right in the middle.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go ahead and pray and then jump into that.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: Heavenly Father, you are good to us.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for most of all for Jesus sending him to die on the cross for us so that we could have eternal life.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: And we know that that's the reason that we're able to talk about all of these things and all these leadership principles that you've ultimately established, and you share that with us in your word.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: Help us to be personally accountable this week.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: In Jesus' name.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.