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Booby Talk with Andrew · LOLwithMariandJohn.com

0:31
From the same hometown as hillary clinton grew up in the same town yeah wow,
0:37
yes wow uh and it is not a democratic place either no it wasn't when she was
0:42
there did you ever support one of those polyester suits no okay,
0:46
no no the pants they did not catch on there um,
0:52
and in my family specifically i would say it's a little bit of a combination
0:56
of the two where sexuality was not discussed at all,
1:00
but like it wouldn't be unusual for you know someone to be like naked you know
1:05
like there wasn't like or you know,
1:08
people using the bathroom at the same time okay there wasn't like um and that
1:13
wasn't like weird either you weren't like mormon where you had no okay conceal
1:17
steal everything absolutely not but also we is there's a fair amount of um.
1:24
What I would call like regular white people repression, you know, I don't know.
1:29
Regular white people repression. Yeah. Okay. I'm feeling a bumper sticker coming on.
1:33
What is regular white people repression? Well, I'm already trying to,
1:36
because like, you know, we didn't talk about sex.
1:39
We didn't get a talk from my parents about sex. Like it kind of,
1:43
you know, being of the internet generation, it almost didn't even need to happen
1:47
because we just kind of found all that stuff on our own. You know,
1:51
I have a single older brother.
1:53
Mm-hmm so and he started he kind of forged the path yeah well we were googling boobs on the,
2:00
family computer when i was like three and he was like six so that's like really
2:03
young right yes but but it's like you have google and you learn what the word
2:07
boobs is which explains your boob fetish now yes my,
2:12
he's a boob fetish i mean i'm exaggerating what any little piece of information
2:17
i get it's like it's terrifying you you're like i'm never going to speak in
2:20
front of him again because I record everything.
2:23
You could classify me as a boob guy. I would go on the record.
2:26
I saw your girlfriend. I know you are a boob guy. Yeah.
2:31
I think that's one of the first things you said. Hi, I'm Andrew and I'm a boob
2:33
guy. That is absolutely 100% what I said. Yes, you did. No names even.
2:39
Well, we actually met when we were moving in next door and we were trying to
2:43
put a couch through a doorway that it wouldn't fit through. Oh,
2:46
yeah, that's right. Yes. And we had to...
2:49
Sit there and unscrew everything on the couch take it apart yeah and my friends
2:53
and my girlfriend was there and I did say I looked you in the eye and I said,
2:57
My name is Andrew and I am a boob guy. I recall that. I do.
3:00
I was. I recall. Yes. And I am. I am. Yeah.
3:05
And I don't think I told you at that point that I was into. I'm a homosexuality person.
3:10
Yeah. Which is probably pretty obvious to most people when they first meet me.
3:15
They're probably like, no shit, Sherlock.
3:18
That I figured out instantly. So we got to get back to the vanilla thing. Yes.
3:23
Okay. So you're vanilla. Yes. All right. and you're discovering boobs on the internet,
3:28
yes okay um i'm assuming mom is finding like let's say um dry kind of encrusted
3:36
socks and things like that on all over the place from you and your brother no
3:40
that would have been like a little no,
3:41
no not really i feel like uh it was very um clean up the crime scene you know
3:47
i don't think there was much at least now that i'm aware of i i know there was a point where,
3:52
i can't remember if it was my bro i think it was my brother confronted me and
3:55
this is older in childhood but still like elementary school yes childhood um,
4:00
where my brother was like someone googled um like in the search history i had
4:04
no concept of search history because i was like six or seven or eight years old,
4:08
caught well and he was like somebody on the family computer looked up angelina
4:13
jolie naked or something like who was,
4:16
who was that knowing it was me it was you oh was you and i was like no i'm like
4:21
i don't know who did they don't know and he was like well it was either you
4:24
or dad and i was just like well i guess dad must have you know threw him under the bus yeah.
4:29
Pretty much bam um wow i remember i did not know that you could masturbate and
4:35
i didn't know that you could climax until i was like 15 okay i thought you're
4:40
gonna say a much older age for a moment oh no,
4:44
that would be old in our house I didn't know. So I had never done it. Okay. Wow.
4:49
And I found out...
4:53
Because for Christmas, I'm Latino. Have I said that? I'm Latino.
4:59
So here's the scary part. There were 70 of us together for Christmas at the house.
5:06
So our neighbors would leave and go back to Minnesota for Christmas and would rent us their house.
5:15
So they were large houses. My parents were successful. so half the boys stayed
5:21
at one house and the girls stayed at another house wow smart move right yes,
5:26
and that's when I learned because first we did a sheet with a light behind it and you had to
5:33
get an erection stand behind the sheet and show everybody your profile with
5:36
an erection so everybody she could be judged for sure this is what the boys
5:39
were doing okay and then the next thing was they started masturbating to Penthouse
5:44
Magazine okay which I didn't know you could do Yeah.
5:48
And so I was shown by one of my cousins how to masturbate. Okay.
5:53
So I proceeded to run to a room because I was like, oh, my God,
5:57
this is pretty incredible. And I went to a room and I started.
6:01
And 15 years old, it was all pent up. Yeah. I'm not even exaggerating. I hit the ceiling.
6:09
Yeah. And after that, I couldn't leave the monster alone. Yeah.
6:14
I could not. It was just five times a day.
6:17
It was, you know, I had it down to a point where I could be watching television with my, I had no shame.
6:24
I could be watching television with everybody in the living room and I would
6:27
have a pillow on my lap and I'd be pushing down on the pillow and I would be like, until finally.
6:36
And yeah, isn't that terrifying? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's just when you,
6:39
when you don't have access to that, because that's just like the exact age in which.
6:45
You will be experimenting and doing all that stuff anyway, even if you knew
6:49
about it. Yeah. You know? But you just have, like, this—it's almost like edging
6:53
for 15 years. Yes. Exactly.
6:55
And then, you know— You can see edging. The fact that you know that word.
6:59
It's a totally different light I'm seeing you in now.
7:02
Totally different. I mean, and here I was. I was going to throw all these terms
7:05
at you and see if you—like chem sex and— Well, that one I wasn't familiar with.
7:10
And dirty trumpets or dirty trombones.
7:13
I used to know what that meant, and I don't remember. It was an urban addiction.
7:15
So a child of the internet, right? You figure out, you learn a lot of things.
7:19
Oh, yeah. Sometimes unconsensually. And without the visuals,
7:23
because YouTube does block.
7:26
Yeah, but there's... There's ways to get around it. Yes. You...
7:31
So you learned everything. We had magazines. Yeah.
7:35
And if by chance you found one that someone had thrown away,
7:38
it was like finding the Holy Grail, and you would raise it up,
7:41
And there would be a celebration amongst all your friends in the neighborhood
7:44
around your age. Yeah. And then that magazine would be passed around and passed away.
7:49
And we would build forts for the purpose of hiding from the parental units and
7:57
passing the magazines around so everybody could read them and look at them.
8:00
You guys ever do something? No. No. You see the internet? You missed that ritual.
8:05
It was a bonding session. Come on. Well, what I'm thinking about is like what,
8:09
I wonder what humanity...
8:10
Is passing by now that we've like completely blown past because that's existed
8:15
yeah uh i mean you know before there was printed pornography like i'm sure there's
8:19
been many iterations of like that
8:22
kind of thing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like those baseball cards yeah back in
8:26
the 20s or whatever that was with the uh,
8:29
women of yes you know of the evening and they would be showing their kneecaps and it was like oh,
8:34
yeah yeah we're missing out on that i don't know it's a different Um,
8:40
one thing, a part of that has made it more, cause now it's just something you
8:43
do, you know, with your phone in a very private,
8:47
uh, place and time and space. Um, yeah.
8:51
And yeah. And also, um, there's that whole idea too of.
8:55
Because there's such a variety now, and there's so much of it,
8:58
and it's even with AI now. Yeah, that's really fucked.
9:02
It's getting way—it just—I think it's distorting the perception,
9:08
especially for men, because we're visual.
9:10
Yeah. And once you start creating certain images that are going to set you off,
9:16
then I think you start to develop a need for a certain level of imagery to set you off. Yeah.
9:22
And if real life can't meet that need, then it becomes, I'm not going to say
9:27
more difficult because it depends on the person's physical, you know.
9:31
For sure. But I think it becomes weirder because, and the experience can become
9:37
weirder because all of a sudden the things that used to get to you don't get to you anymore.
9:43
You have to do things that are more interesting, you know, that you climb.
9:45
And before you know it, you're watching women take it up their rear end by a,
9:49
you know, a mule or a pony.
9:52
And it's like, you know what I mean? Sorry not to laugh, but yes.
9:54
But the experience keeps getting more and more dramatic. Yes,
9:57
yeah. Just to reach a different dopamine level. It's not even necessarily because
10:01
you're like into it. Right, exactly, exactly. And it's visual.
10:06
It's different for women because I talk to Madi a lot about this.
10:09
And she enjoys gay porn because of the beautiful men, not because of necessarily
10:18
the act or anything like that. She just thinks she loves beautiful men.
10:21
And also, she's worked in the adult industry and in the gay world for her entire life, adult life.
10:28
So, gay men are pretty much what she knows, you know what I mean? Yeah.
10:33
But for her, porn is a really good Hallmark movie with a really handsome leading man. That's her porn.
10:42
That's going to send her into the room to flick her buttons.
10:45
That's what I say. I'm like, I'll knock on the door. You flicking your buttons
10:48
again? What the heck is going on in there?
10:51
But it's totally different for her. Completely different. Such a different thing. That fascinates me.
10:56
I don't think it's different for women and men. I think it's different for a
11:00
certain kind of mind. Yes.
11:03
I know some females that are just as, you know. Visual. Visual as we are. Yeah.
11:08
Well, I would say because I agree.
11:12
And, like, you know, I teach and stuff. But I'm going to say this potentially publicly.
11:17
Oh, that's right. You teach. And I'm not even being careful.
11:20
Sorry about that. No, no. We don't really have to. We also don't know where this is going.
11:24
And it's going to be restricted with adult content. That's true.
11:29
That's true. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
11:32
But I only watch, really, for the most part, like, girl porn,
11:38
as in, like, porn made for women. Really? Because I find...
11:43
Like anything that's like actually produced you know just be really fucking
11:47
stupid sometimes like i don't i don't enjoy like um oh uh and maybe this is
11:53
you know oh you can take this a certain way but i'd like,
11:58
uh like eight people orgasming you on the face or something like that or just
12:01
like the bukkake yes as previously mentioned uh but no more just like like the
12:05
fakeness of like i like um intimacy,
12:09
yes right which i feel like is kind of a part of what you're saying like the
12:11
whole vibe you are a rare breed,
12:14
i don't know that that rare right on right but i don't i haven't done a study
12:18
has anybody i don't i don't know probably not probably not um so no the government
12:23
is probably not going to pay for anything that has to do with sex for a long oh yeah um,
12:29
but uh but yeah so i just like the you know the intimacy and it's not feeling like,
12:34
stupid because it's not like uh you know porn over acting i mean some people
12:38
are really into exaggeration and i'm not really right um,
12:43
and i just think porn made for woman is uh is more interesting more convincing
12:48
yeah more interesting it's usually just not like objectifying or weird not to sound um,
12:54
no white knighting at all i know what you mean though i know yeah i can see
12:58
it i can see it because there's.
13:01
And there's, there's this, the scenes that are created and the cliche scene,
13:08
which now seems to dominate those.
13:10
And by cliched scenes, I mean, where, where the dialogue is really,
13:14
oh, did you really just say that?
13:17
You know, do you really think it turns someone on to hear that kind of hyper
13:22
macho weirdism or, or her, her weird, super high pitched screaming,
13:29
you know, like Japaname screaming.
13:31
Yeah it was like no no no no no no yeah there's no reality in that it's all
13:36
and then also what bugs me is when you see them alter their position because
13:40
you get a better camera angle that way yeah he takes you right out of the of
13:44
the of the romance of it yeah
13:47
the thing is and this is kind of tying it back to what you're talking about
13:49
before about people's perceptions is that,
13:52
you and i as people who have had sex know that but if you're like a teenager
13:57
or younger that never has It's like, you don't know.
14:00
That's true. Hey, you don't know that people don't sound like that.
14:02
You don't know that people don't, like, physically, like, fuck in that position like that.
14:05
Right. Yeah. And then there's a lot of, like, really, at least for straight
14:10
porn, a lot of mainstream porn that's marketed as being, like,
14:14
super aggressive. Yeah.
14:16
Also. Oh, yeah. Which, obviously, some people are very into that.
14:21
And I'm not, like, against that or anything. But just the idea that,
14:24
like, the most popular thing on Pornhub at any given moment is, like.
14:29
18 like you know fucked raw like crazy you know the train,
14:34
like the train of people that yes stuff like that but just like really like
14:37
being very aggressive um and like was like slapping and stuff and again things
14:41
that like the actors consented to and it's not like actually portraying anything um.
14:47
Like bad happening but the idea that is putting into the heads of uh people
14:52
who don't know better or usually children that this is like normal yeah what you do it's like yeah
14:57
let's let's also let's not pretend like they're not watching because oh yeah
15:01
you know the internet come on give me a break no we were yeah and they are now probably oh absolutely
15:07
yeah yeah i mean i have kids i call my grandkids because they're like adopted
15:12
family yeah you know and i mean 13 years old 12 years old and they've already,
15:17
and they've told me they already the stuff that they've seen already on the internet and i'm like.
15:21
Wow because you know oh you mean you mean you're not clicking on no, I'm not 18.
15:27
Yeah, that is. That's kind of weird. No, and that was the same system when I
15:31
was that age. And it's like, yeah, of course you're going to lie about that.
15:34
You want to like, do you or do you not want to see, you know. Yeah.
15:37
Boobs. Yeah. I'm going to click the I want to see boobs button,
15:40
you know. And then people will come down on the parents and say,
15:43
hey, you know, what about the parental guidelines or restrictions that you can apply?
15:47
And I hate to tell you, but there are a lot of parents out there that are not
15:50
that internet savvy, even in this day and age.
15:53
Yes. And also, but, you know, I don't even know if that's the best way because
15:59
it's almost, it almost should be like, not that this country is any better at
16:03
dealing with like drugs and substance abuse. Yeah.
16:06
But it should almost be like, the conversation should almost be more like that
16:10
where it's like, it's going to exist and there will be access to it.
16:15
So it's like better to have conversations about how to deal with it and interact
16:21
with it rather than like perma banding it or because, you know, I just think about.
16:31
What that could do to you when you're denied. Because, like,
16:35
how do you say, like, no porn, but also you're allowed to be,
16:38
like, yourself and a sexual being? And when you attempt to deny access,
16:42
that's when you get a driving need.
16:45
People are going to be like, then I'm really going to try to get to see it.
16:48
Yes, yeah. You're going to deny the access. You're going to create the reverse situation.
16:52
And also, I think we should have more of a European, like, Western European
16:57
attitude about sexuality.
16:59
I mean, they have adult nudity and sometimes even like intercourse on their television shows.
17:06
And for them, it's no biggie. And for their children to see it,
17:10
it's no biggie because they think it's part of life and that's how they address
17:13
it. It's like a human body.
17:14
Yeah. And they're not— It's not being sexualized. But you're not going to see
17:17
somebody getting shot in the head or somebody's, you know, neck being slid open with a knife.
17:22
Which I also saw on the internet at the same age, by the way.
17:26
Like people dying. For real. Yeah. But, I mean, they started to restrict sexuality
17:31
in the United States before they did adult violence.
17:34
Violence was—I remember watching, like, a Chainsaw Massacre kind of show on television.
17:40
No biggie. And it was like, you know, you're nine years old and you're like,
17:44
whoa. Yeah. That was—I thought—.
17:47
But, you know, you can't see no boobies. That's not good. Yeah,
17:50
that's just so weird. Yeah, it's so repressed.
17:54
Pretty backwards in that way. And, yeah, I was watching all that stuff also.
17:59
But, like, violence never really got to me in, like, visual media.
18:03
I mean, I don't like watching people die.
18:06
You know, like the actual, like, snuff stuff on the Internet.
18:09
No. Which I feel like. Ooh, yeah. Teenagers, like, there's definitely, like. Ooh.
18:14
You definitely get. You have some experience with that.
18:17
I feel like when you're a teenager, from the time I was a teenager until the
18:21
end of time, as long as the internet exists, there will be at least flirtations
18:27
with actual death footage on the internet.
18:31
I can tell you as an older person, the first time I saw death as a young person,
18:36
a friend died, you know, that kind of a thing.
18:39
Just not even seeing it, but hearing about it and the details of the car accident that took his life.
18:45
Feeling that's the same for me the entire neighborhood,
18:49
was traumatized all the kids were traumatized at school because he was a popular
18:54
kid but it was a big deal you know and as i'm getting older and.
19:02
Uh and i'm more familiar with more a lot more people that are passing dying
19:07
yeah in the bucket taken off for sure um it's it's become almost a part of everyday
19:12
day conversation now and it's kind of like,
19:15
you know it's coming it's around the corner get used to it here it comes you
19:20
know and if you can joke about it and be as prepared as you can because it's
19:24
a coming and but it's still the most horrifying thought approaching because
19:28
there's so much you want to do
19:30
you don't want to shut the lights off yet anyway i'm going on another tangent
19:33
right oh that's okay holy i just watch six feet under so like i think about
19:36
that stuff all the time right now oh,
19:38
yeah why do you think about that in general okay so i have a new philosophy Oh, God.
19:43
I do not like to watch programming that puts negative imagery in my brain,
19:51
like horror or graphic violence.
19:57
Rape, things like that.
19:58
I don't like to watch those kinds of things.
20:01
So I'm really critical of what I watch that way.
20:07
I believe that it's kind of nutrition.
20:11
You're feeding the brain. the images and your experiences feed your brain,
20:17
just like you know when you sit in a class yeah and um and so i'm afraid of
20:21
feeding it that kind of a diet um and especially with what's all the terrible,
20:30
feeling the hostile mood sometimes that appears to be happening in other parts
20:35
of the world because of governing and political situations and,
20:41
discriminate you know all that kind of stuff it just seems to be really active
20:45
right now so i'm kind of like creating a bubble of happiness in my world,
20:50
you know yeah i'm i'm doing i'm doing the ostrich thing where i'm burying my
20:54
head in the sand yes and i know,
20:57
it's counterintuitive because right now more than ever we need action but at the same time i'm like.
21:05
I feel like I've been,
21:10
let down by the people in charge, and I just want their terms to end,
21:16
and I just want to vote for new people, fresh, younger,
21:20
people with bright ideas instead of these older crony-like,
21:26
you know what I mean? So I'm closing it out right now.
21:29
Well, I think the majority of people agree with you, but I also think the party
21:37
that you're talking about that has let you down will not listen to you or everybody else.
21:43
Okay, but here's, I'm going to throw this curveball. Okay. I'm speaking of both
21:46
parties letting you down.
21:47
Yeah, oh, absolutely. Well, because they have the same interests, you know?
21:53
Ultimately, the same corporations are donating to the same parties that are,
22:00
assisting, lobbying for certain policies to help them.
22:04
Yes, yeah. Regardless of what they actually think or believe,
22:08
that is why it's been a letdown is because—.
22:11
I mean, like, I don't see how you could be in either party and not be disappointing,
22:15
everybody, you know, because shit's pretty bad.
22:18
It's really bad. But also in terms of, like, what you can do,
22:21
it's like, I think you can help the immediate people and community around you.
22:26
Oh, my God. Right? Yes. Which I know you do. Yes.
22:30
That's my way of life. Yeah. So, like, outside of that and then assassinating
22:36
one or many of these people, there's not really much you can do personally,
22:39
I don't think. So, um, yeah, look at what happened. You can't even joke about that.
22:45
I mean, look at what happened. I'm not really, I'm not, I'm not saying,
22:49
uh, that you or I should personally go out and do that.
22:52
But like, I don't, I think, I think what's fair to say is that,
22:56
um, I have experienced personally, a lot of people telling me what you just said. Yeah.
23:03
And I am surprised and now I'm not surprised.
23:06
I kind of understand. i don't i totally understand why,
23:11
so many people are like why hasn't that happened yet yeah i mean there's,
23:15
it's just so chaotic it happens when it's not chaotic to the best of people
23:20
why isn't it happening now during the chaos to the worst of people well the
23:24
the answer is like people have tried and has been highly publicized but then
23:28
the the bullshit misery machine,
23:31
just turns it into like a conspiracy and that's on like the left also like most
23:35
of my friends believe that butler Pennsylvania,
23:38
you know, where someone tried to kill Trump was, uh, was staged and bullshit.
23:43
And, um, and that one, I understand why people feel like that because of the
23:47
timing and how they like flip that. And now they don't talk about it.
23:51
You're not afraid to speak of stuff like that?
23:53
No, like that, but I don't think, I don't think that was bullshit though.
23:56
I think that was someone really trying to kill him. And I think the same thing
24:00
with the white house correspondence dinner thing where that guy ran through the checkpoint.
24:04
There have been many instances of...
24:08
Of people trying. Here's my thing. When there was a brief moment in between
24:13
his presidencies where the Democrats came back,
24:20
and yet nothing happened to him. He didn't go to jail. Yes. He didn't go to prison. Yes.
24:27
With a grand list of felony charges. Yeah. And that, to me, was the big letdown.
24:32
Yes. Because it was kind of like, so even if I do donate to your campaign and
24:37
do get you into office, The bottom line is you're not going to do shit. Absolutely.
24:41
That is, and they don't understand, they're trying to run on the same exact thing again.
24:45
And they don't understand that that is how anyone who voted for them feels.
24:50
Unless like they're very, you know, unless someone's like just as down like,
24:54
the New York Times rabbit hole as other people are the Fox rabbit hole, you know. Yeah.
25:00
You know what you're saying is exactly, I feel like the sentiment that. Washington Post.
25:04
It's all, it's all gone. CNN even has, has, yep.
25:08
I yeah well and then people then people turn to bullshit um like Joe Rogan also you know and uh,
25:15
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Strange place for news.
25:20
But we should stay with lighter material and continue talking about masturbation,
25:26
which is a form of stress relief.
25:29
Yeah. Which is actually very important. This is the best time to jerk off right now.
25:34
Stress relief is more needed. Yeah. And then so here's another thing that's
25:37
going to throw a little curveball. Okay. Speaking of stress relief.
25:41
So, you know, I work at a sex club. It's an adult sex store with what's called an arcade attached.
25:47
Okay. So there's like many, like 20, 30, 40 glory holes, right?
25:52
Glory holes, which seem to be extraordinarily popular right now.
25:56
And I think that's because a lot of people are seeking stress relief.
25:58
And by people, I mean men.
26:01
Although I have seen women in a parking lot going down on each other. Okay.
26:08
Once, and I was, I thought it was two men and it was two women.
26:12
And I was like, Mazel Tov. All right.
26:15
Great job. Like, we're not the only hoes out there in the parking lot late at
26:19
night. And, okay, so my point is this.
26:23
We've seen a spike in the number of heterosexual men coming in seeking relief,
26:31
through the glory hole. So they put their peony in the glory hole and someone deals with it.
26:40
And we have heard everything from she's not doing it anymore to she's not doing it well enough to,
26:50
I don't want to talk about it. And there's and then there's the one that's just
26:55
like, hell, yeah, they do a better job, these boys at this stuff.
26:58
Yeah. You know what I mean?
27:00
And it's a very sensitive topic because I think people can't help but try to draw lines or—.
27:14
Ah, somehow connected with homosexuality. And I don't think it is because these
27:18
men genuinely love the vajayjay.
27:20
They genuinely love their, their woman's boobies and all that kind of stuff.
27:24
But, um, they have just reached a point where it's kind of like,
27:28
will somebody please suck on this now and take care, drain it and let,
27:33
let my toes curl, everything come out and all that stress.
27:37
So I can once again have that sensation of like, I am so relaxed right now.
27:43
Once again, you know what I mean?
27:44
And it's very carnal. I've seen it with some women, too, coming in,
27:49
mainly lesbians coming in, where they're helping each other out that way, you know?
27:54
That's not still a glory hole situation, is it? No.
27:57
Yeah. No, they go into the private rooms. Yes. That would be very uncomfortable.
28:01
And they're also, yeah, they're a lot noisier than the dudes.
28:05
And I think it's because the dudes are mostly gay and they're very well behaved.
28:11
And these are like some rock and roll lesbians coming in that are just like, fuck you.
28:17
You know, I'm whatever in there with her. And then another big, huge trend is...
28:25
Uh, FTM's, female to males. Yes.
28:30
Going through the surgery and becoming, you know, the process has got to be
28:37
really intense. Yeah. You know, it is.
28:40
And then coming out and then after all of the therapy and all of the,
28:44
uh, the, the stuff that they take and testosterone and all, and then the hair
28:49
growth and then the muscle building.
28:51
Because a lot of them, you know, they lift and they look, some of them look
28:57
like extraordinarily handsome men. I'm telling you, a lot.
29:01
And they go into this club because they have come out the other end of that
29:05
experience as a gay man, which I find fascinating to be a woman going through all of that.
29:15
And the end, it shows you how complicated sexuality is.
29:18
In the end, she discovers herself finally as the gay man she wanted to be all along.
29:24
Which to me is like, wow. I mean, come on now.
29:29
That just proves, like, it's so individual. Yeah.
29:33
And it's so still evolving that this thing, sexuality, you can't put a finger
29:41
on it. You can't. Well, you can't, but figuratively.
29:47
But it's um.
29:49
It's so complicated and we're still trying to box it.
29:52
We're still trying to package it and still trying to sell the public on what
29:56
it is and isn't, what it should mean and what it shouldn't mean.
29:59
Yeah. And it's kind of like, it's the one place where I feel like when it comes
30:03
to authority, it's like, keep your fucking business, you know.
30:07
Absolutely. Take it somewhere else and get the hell out of my bed.
30:10
Yeah. Get the hell out of my bedroom. well i think i think you um you kind of
30:15
answered your own question you know in terms of like what um like what are because
30:20
the questions like what are these hetero guys doing there and that's because sexuality is not um,
30:26
like i just don't believe that it's binary you know um,
30:32
hold for thought hold for thought because i had something i was just very interested
30:36
invested in what you were you were saying like i can't really speak to like
30:39
the trans experience right but i understand what you're saying in terms of like,
30:43
it's just evidence that um.
30:48
The idea of putting sexuality in a box, I think for one, it just makes the world
30:52
make sense for people, you know, because we kind of do that or try to do that
30:57
naturally with everything. Yes.
31:01
But being sexual is kind of, I mean, it is like the fabric of the human experience
31:07
because like depending on what you believe or who you talk to,
31:11
I mean, regardless, it's like really the only thing we're here to do is like fuck and then die.
31:15
You know like on a very biological level i don't believe that is all that life
31:20
is but um it was at some point yeah in an engineering sense that's really all
31:25
we're meant yeah um physically to do um,
31:30
so of course that like just because there's so many shades of humanity there
31:34
there is a million billion shades of sexuality so i think that is you know i'm
31:41
just trying to paraphrase or like analyze what you said, but that is why they're
31:44
straight dudes going in there.
31:45
They just want to get their toes curled, you know, because, but they have shame about who is,
31:50
Who's doing the thing, right? And that stuff that is social and learned. Yes. Learned.
31:56
Which is why the glory hole, I think, exists. It's because it allows you that
32:00
you don't have to deal with the person performing the act. Yeah.
32:03
You don't have to look at them.
32:04
And you're free to imagine something totally different, a different scenario
32:09
on the other side of that wall. Absolutely.
32:12
Which is freeing. It was a brilliant move, that thing called.
32:15
Well, so that actually just made me think.
32:17
I wonder what the history of the glory hole is because like,
32:20
did it begin with bathroom stalls? Is that the beginning of a glory hole?
32:24
That was definitely a revolution. Yes. That definitely was like the iPhone of
32:28
glory holes. Yeah. Was having a stalls. Well, okay.
32:33
It's interesting. I don't know. I know some of it because I've done a little
32:36
research. Okay. But I know like, like the Romans were doing this shit,
32:41
right? They had to have been the Greeks or the Romans. They definitely had walls.
32:44
You could just stick your dick in. Yeah, for sure. They were pervs.
32:47
I mean, they had phallic symbols all over cities and stuff like that.
32:52
They're hugely— Well, they weren't, like, homophobic in the modern sense either. Right.
32:57
But it was a role thing. If you were a submissive, you were ranked lower than others.
33:04
For instance, if you were a soldier and you had your submissive,
33:10
that would accompany you into battle and carry your gear, basically, and get you set up.
33:16
You know what I mean? cook your meals, feed you, all that kind of stuff.
33:20
But the submissive would be a male that you would take with you on the warpath.
33:25
And then they had their big, huge parties. Yeah, you'd be fucking.
33:28
Yeah, and that was the show. The show would be to find the biggest,
33:31
beefiest motherfucker you could.
33:33
Seriously, put him in the middle of the room with another guy who had the biggest
33:38
schlong in the world, and everybody would sit around, you know,
33:42
eating and drinking and commenting on, How is he taking that?
33:45
That's, you know, and laughing and like it was everyday normal.
33:50
And then also, there was a period, which I speak of a lot, in history when God
33:58
was a female viewed around the world.
34:01
And it was believed that during those times, priestesses in temples would meet
34:06
with you in order to help you have a spiritual experience, right?
34:12
And the most—for the primary spiritual experience would have been an orgasm.
34:17
So, in essence, you were going into a temple for this priestess to help you
34:22
reach orgasm because that brought you closer to the deity.
34:27
And we now call those brothels. But back in the day, they were considered sacred spaces.
34:36
And the people in them and what they were doing was considered sacred work.
34:40
And they were viewed as pillars of the community.
34:44
You know what I mean? Yeah. So a lot has changed in our view of it's.
34:52
Yeah. You know, well, the only, I was going to say the only thing that's really changed is, um.
34:57
Is the the social constructs from each time period you know because i was just
35:01
talking to my partner about this recently because uh,
35:07
i was like you know fucking has been the same since forever it's like kind of
35:11
crazy to think about it's like you do all these things that maybe you,
35:15
saw somewhere i'm talking about like positions and things and costumes and yeah
35:19
playing but like all of those or at least most of them it boils down to
35:24
it's just yeah it's just stick it in and pumpy pump pump pump pump yeah until
35:28
you squirt and and there's no way that like there's no one that like invented um,
35:33
doggy you know like oh yeah no like we've been fucking the same and it's just
35:37
weird to think about you know maybe picture victorian times or like caveman
35:41
times caveman times your porno would have been watching the deer fucking out
35:46
in the field you know what i'm saying,
35:48
so you probably imitated that position you know what i'm saying i never thought
35:53
about that because there's your porno right there absolutely you know and they're
35:57
like oh okay let's try it that way yeah so and we they say that we were the
36:01
first to do it face to face.
36:04
Because of our mammals at least yeah yeah so we invented missionary that's not surprising,
36:10
it's not i don't know though i mean you'd have to go through every single known
36:14
animal ever in the history of,
36:16
the planet yeah and then and figure out if anatomically they could fit in that
36:22
face-to-face position this is such a non-sequitur but dinosaurs are reptiles,
36:27
Do reptiles do the thing? Do they put, like, genitals and genitals to fuck?
36:31
Or is it, like, they lay the eggs and then they spray the eggs like chickens? You know what I mean? Oh.
36:37
Because some animals, they lay eggs and then the dude jerks off on the eggs.
36:41
Or the seahorse, she puts the eggs inside of his belly. Yeah.
36:47
And then he carries them. Yes.
36:51
And there's slugs and they wrap their bodies around each other.
36:55
Oh, I didn't know about that.
36:56
There's whales and they have like well they have massive massive like like massive
37:01
that they stick out like yeah it's like yep um,
37:05
on youtube i have a video which explores the different ways creatures fornicate
37:11
okay yes i call it bug porn okay and yes there's some people that are very happy
37:17
about that being on youtube,
37:19
oh yeah unrestricted yeah oh man but hey it's bugs it's nature what are you
37:25
saying actually no when i was a kid i would read did you ever read cracked.com,
37:30
uh it was a comedy website it's like somewhere is some like bastard cousin of
37:35
like a mad magazine maybe wow but it was more like informative articles and
37:39
actually a lot of the journalists who who contributed to cracked when i was reading it which is like.
37:45
2008 9 through like 13 have gone on to be like they write books and they're
37:50
like established journalists now and very cool um but it was just like bullshit
37:56
like top 10 lists back in the day,
37:59
and um they were just like funnily it was like a comedy website,
38:03
um and there was an article where i found like it was like about weird porn,
38:07
and it had the uh spider lady in it and that image is still burned in my brain
38:12
speaking of sex sex and porn and young age and it was a it was just a naked lady,
38:19
posing but with like this photo realistic like it must have been like a helmet
38:24
on it it's like a movie you know a fat like level effects of like a spider of,
38:29
super realistic spider head like okay it was in like a spider like photograph
38:33
really close to i don't think i don't think sexy here i don't think so i don't
38:36
think but it was like a sexy lady body with the spider head and you know there
38:41
were two paths for me at that moment,
38:43
where one was where i was like i like this and one was where i am scarred by this,
38:49
i was scarred by it has not ruined my life in any shape or form it's not really
38:53
affected me but i do i do still remember exactly what that looks like in my
38:57
head because it was very scary.
38:59
Okay so if the boobs are if the boobs are nice enough how weird how weird can
39:05
can the creature become if the boobs are nice enough yeah it's It wouldn't take
39:09
much weird for me, frankly.
39:11
Because, like, you know. You won't go there with a.
39:13
Yeah. And, you know, to deny my boob fetish a little bit, like the three-boob
39:18
lady in Total Recall. Yeah.
39:20
Not a fan. No, really? I don't really care, man. Oh, wow. Oh,
39:23
my God. Doesn't do anything for me.
39:24
See, I know straight guys that thought that was super hot. Oh,
39:26
yeah. They were like, more feeding there.
39:29
Yeah. Yep. Okay. So, funny story. I have a friend who was lactating,
39:34
you know, because she was, well, she was done being pregnant. so she was feeding.
39:39
And apparently the boobs can fill up so much with milk that they're so under pressure.
39:45
Sorry, I don't know why that made me laugh. They're so under pressure.
39:47
I shouldn't have been. It's like I'm like a five-year-old right now.
39:50
But they're so under pressure that they become like almost hard-like.
39:54
Yeah, I'm laughing that I'm laughing at that.
39:55
And she said she could squeeze on them and shoot like 25 feet of stream.
40:00
She said that— Ropes. Yeah, she said that the pressure was so great that when
40:05
her babies would start feeding, They would almost choke to death on the milk
40:09
because it was coming out in like a gun, like rapid fire.
40:13
Right. And then she said she was trying to have sex with her husband.
40:18
She's sitting on his thingy, you know, bouncing up and down.
40:21
And the milk is coming out so much that she's practically like drowning him. I swear to God.
40:27
And he finally reached a point where he was like, honey, honey,
40:29
honey, whoa, we got to stop. Whoa.
40:31
Because she said he was him and the bed and everything was covered in milk.
40:35
There are men that would be jerking off to this description right now. Really?
40:39
Yes. There are some people that are really into that. Oh, wow.
40:42
You just described their dream scenario.
40:45
Yeah. Okay. That's cool. All right. That's crazy.
40:49
That one got you, didn't it? Boom. Well, I started laughing about the fact that
40:55
I was laughing at, you just said like milk and titties or something, and that set me on.
40:59
And then I was laughing at my own immaturity. And then you described a woman drowning a baby.
41:05
Can you imagine apparently you can't imagine I'm hedging it a lot just now this
41:10
is a big deal for a gay man to come up with a description of an event where
41:14
a straight man is like dude that's hot oh it is?
41:17
I didn't know to clarify that's not for me it's not?
41:21
It's no like lactation? oh really?
41:24
I don't think it's gross but I don't sexualize that if you're getting covered
41:27
with the milk and everything would you be like honey stop or would you be like
41:30
keep going you're doing good,
41:32
You know, if it's someone I'm in love with, I'll probably be into it. You're right.
41:36
But the only thing is that I recall her saying that he did not like the taste of it.
41:41
Well, that's why I said that was my first thought. He said it was sickeningly sweet.
41:44
Yeah, I've heard it's not very good. So then in that case, probably not.
41:48
You know, I just don't sexualize that part. And it's a very understandable thing
41:53
to sexualize, I think, because it's so closely related to the whole fucking, you know. Yep.
41:59
But I'm just saying that is 100% a fetish. and like,
42:03
people would totally be into that yeah that is someone's dream scenario they just grab very cool,
42:08
i think it's interesting i mean i'm i'm a gay man and i can still recognize
42:12
nice boobies you know oh yeah when i see a girl with nice boobies i don't say
42:16
anything because you know it's rude but yeah but part of me wants to go,
42:20
honey you have a nice set of honkers there yeah what's your favorite boob word.
42:26
What, you just said honkers? I say boobies. Boobies is fun. Boobies.
42:31
I just say boobies. Because it's fun. It rolls off the tongue,
42:33
fun. Boobie, boobie, boobie.
42:34
Yeah. You know, you can play with it. You can write a song and use it as lyrics.
42:38
Hillary Clinton's favorite restaurant from growing up in the same town as me.
42:43
Boobies. Boobies? Oh, there you go. It is really good also. Boobies is very
42:47
good. Does this mean I have to don a polyester business suit?
42:49
No, absolutely not. She's one of the worst people.
42:52
I think I want to try one of those on, though. Sure. Yeah, it was like a uniform
42:56
in every color. Well, it's just marketing.
42:58
Yeah. All right. So we have to wrap this fucker up.
43:02
I'll keep going. We just started talking about lactating. Lactating.
43:06
Yeah. In conclusion, join us for our next episode. Where would we go after lactating?
43:13
After lactating? I don't know. We're flirting with piss and shit,
43:17
I feel like at the moment. Oh, yeah.
43:18
Which I'm very not into. Oh, God, no.
43:21
Scat. Yeah. And I'm not talking the singing form. not the vocal no not the fun
43:26
kind hoo doobie doobie doobie doobie boobie boobie oh no no no no it's low hanging
43:31
fruit too far once again too far,
43:33
alright goodnight everybody or wherever you are have a great day and um we'll see you later bye.