Latest / Harder Than Life / 40: Every Day Means EVERY DAY w/ Brandon Burns

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40: Every Day Means EVERY DAY w/ Brandon Burns · Harder Than Life

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I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living
0:15
All right. Brandon Burns is an elite athlete, viral influencer with over 50 million views on his social media, two-time Big Ten championship winning coach, co-creator of a seven-figure software product, and right-hand man to the world's number one motivational speaker, Dr. Eric Thomas. I've gotten to know this gentleman, and his heart is as big as his shoulders. He is kind, compassionate, and loving, as well as loyal and giving.
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The dedication and persistence he has is second to none. He was cut from the U of M gymnastics team four times in five years. You're really going to love today's show. Welcome to the Heart of Life podcast, Brandon. Man, thank you so much. I actually just re-separated my AC joint in my shoulder a couple of weeks ago, so hopefully my heart hasn't separated either if my heart's as big as my shoulders, but we're getting through it. I really appreciate you having me on, man.
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You're my baby brother, man. My AC, the only surgery I've ever had was my AC joint. And I got it done at like 24 years old. And the doctor said to me, he goes, how are you working out? So those who don't know the AC joint, it's like, it's the shoulder, the two bones connect. And it's just a little itty bitty joint. And it's supposed to have room. And what I did is I literally had a half an inch, half an inch of bone on bone frayed.
1:33
And he said, I haven't seen that in professional bodybuilders. He's like, I don't know how you were walking around daily. So when I had that done, I was like, whoa. And he's like, you got to have the other side done. I did not like surgery. So take that very seriously because that surgery stinks and you're out for like a good month or two.
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Yeah, yeah. Shoulder stuff is rough. The shoulder is so complicated that if one little thing goes wrong, it's like it affects everything. So I got to be careful with that one. Well, also the shoulder is the smallest muscle. So that's why when it looks big, it's like it stands out. So Brandon, what does every day mean means every day thing that you just keep raving about? I love it. So tell the listeners that aren't familiar with who you are, what that is.
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Yeah, absolutely. So that originated when I started doing some commentating work with the Big Ten Network. Of course, I was a gymnast pretty much my entire life, started that sport at 10 years old. We've been all the way through college. And my way of staying involved with it now is by commentating gymnastics meets. And so I went to the Big Ten Network. I started doing some work with them. And when I was in the office, literally first day ever commenting a meet live on TV, somebody came up to me in the office and asked, how often do you work out?
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And of course I answered every day. And they kind of looked at me with this confused face. Like they were just puzzled by that. And they said, like, every day, every day. And I said, yeah, that's what that means to me. What does it mean to you? Every day means every day. Right. And so it just became this thing where I was blown away at the fact that that level of consistency is foreign to people and people don't understand that concept of
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genuinely committing yourself to doing one thing every single day of your life. And it just became the flag that I've been carrying ever since. Well, I work out every day. I get about four, maybe five days off a year. And it's usually it's literally days that I cannot get in the gym because I'm traveling.
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And even then I'm doing something moving, but I get brutalized in social media for it. Like, when do you have rest days? I'm like, man, this is what works for me. I'm not telling you, you gotta do it. That's just what I do. So I love it and I subscribe to it. And it does, it's not for everybody. And it's not for the faint at heart. And the first thing I would say is if you start complaining,
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You probably aren't doing five days a week anyway. So stop with the, with the, what do they say? Excuses don't get results, man. And results matter. That's it. That's it. I think people don't put enough importance on that, you know, cause we live in such a society now where, you know, the self-care thing is so huge. And I wholeheartedly believe in that. Like there are times where you have to invest in rest. There are times where you have to prioritize.
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your self-care, because if you're not okay, then anything that you touch is also not going to be okay. So all that productivity that you think you're having, it's like fake productivity. It's an illusion, right? So self-care, absolutely. But don't over-index on self-care so much that you forget that the bottom line results matter and count for something. Like you got to keep that in mind, right? And the other thing I'll say is this, every day means every day. It doesn't mean a two-hour Kelly Siegel endorsed arm workout starting with the 50s for warmup. Like that might not be for you,
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right? You might want to go in there and go for a one mile walk. And maybe that for you is every day means every day. It just means show up for you in the best way that you can. It doesn't mean go crazy. I love that, Brandon. Thank you for clarifying that. And I always say if
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If you have 80% in that particular day and you give all 80%, you gave it everything you got. And that's a good day. I used to say when I used to party and drink and party and have fun, I used to say I'll sleep when I'm dead. And now I'll sleep when I'm dead because I literally love my life so much that I just, I'm not gonna miss a day.
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I'm one of those weird people in the gym. I'm listening to a podcast. I'm in as well as feeding my muscles. I'm feeding my mind and it's just it's I'm addicted. I love it. I love I love to look good and I feel good and I do good. What gets you out of bed in the morning, my brother? That is a good question. What gets me out of bed in the morning is trying to see how much further I can close that gap. You know, there's this.
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imaginary gap that I have in my head, right? Well, it's not imaginary. It's very, very real, but I visualize it in my head. And it is the gap between the potential that I believe God gave me and the reality that I'm currently living. And I think it's our responsibility to close that gap. And the reason I think it's a responsibility is not because I think we should be just so hard on ourselves for no reason, or because there's some sort of vain materialistic metric there of, you know, trying to achieve everything that I can.
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But I think that the better that you become as an individual, the better that everybody else becomes. I think that exemplification is the best form of articulation. So if you want to be a leader, if you want to inspire somebody, if you want to set a standard, then you have to live that standard. Right. And I think that when you wake up every single day and you just become all that you can be, that is your gift to the world. I think that God's gift to you is the potential that he blessed you with. Your gift back to God is how you actualize that potential.
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and how you give that back in service of the world and other people. And that just, to me, that's what gives life its meaning. That's what I do every day. Why in your opinion do you think that people are okay with mediocrity?
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I think it's far more comfortable to be mediocre than it is to see. Because here's the thing. If you look yourself in the mirror and you look yourself in the eyes and you have an honest conversation with yourself and you sit there and you say, how much better can I be in every area?
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Right. How much in better shape could I be? How much better communicating could I be? How more present with my family could I be? How much more money could I make? Because money is just an extension of the value you provide to society. So how much more money could I make? How much more influential could I become? How much better of a leader could I be? If you really ask yourself that question and Kelly, I don't care how good you are. You could be somebody like you jacked, successful entrepreneur, like somebody like you. If you have that conversation with yourself, you're like, oh, my God, I could be so much more.
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in every area. And in some ways that sucks. And if you allow that to affect your self-esteem, you sit there and go, oh God, I'm so much less than I could be. You're right, but that's okay because you're not ever going to achieve that. Like you ain't Jesus, sorry to break it to you. You're never gonna like get all the way there. But if you take that mentality and you just say, man, this means I have so much potential and this is gonna be so much fun to chase that thing down
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Now you're going to be on fire. Now you're going to be passionate about your life. But it's so much more comfortable to just say, ah, you know what? I'm not in enough pain to force myself to go after everything that I could be because I'm making 60 grand a year. I've got a dog and a white picket fence, and I know that I could be so much more. But you know what? It's kind of just easier to sit down and watch Netflix for three hours at the end of the day.
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And you distract yourself into allowing yourself to be okay with average. And I think if you really were to take a second and think about who you are and what you have inside of you, it would piss you off that you are all that you could be already.
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Dude, I hate you already. I'm so glad you're not here in person. We tried so hard to get you in person. I would literally leap over the table and hug you right now because you're the freaking devil on my shoulder every day. I do the work every single day, and I still want to get better. And I still know that I'm trying to close that same gap that you talked about. And then there's people that are doing nothing, and then they're posting on social media that they're living their best life and hating on me, and I'm like, dude, I'm not.
9:33
I'm trying to get 1% better every single day. And Brandon's on my shoulder going, you're a wimp. I trained shoulders today just because I wanted to look good for you today. And I'm like, I killed him. He said so many golden things there. The chase, love the chase. That was great. The pain of doing nothing. People don't realize how much harder, you know, this is called harder than life. They don't realize how much harder it is to do nothing than it is to do the work. I don't know.
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I'm on autopilot, so are you, every day. It just becomes so simple. And watching people not do the work and then complain and drink and drug and do all these toxic behaviors and then watching the rest of their life unfold, that's painful. That's hard. That's hard. And then you said a nugget, the imaginary voice in your head.
10:30
About, but it's people listen to that imaginary voice. And most people it's for you, it's positive. For most people, it's a negative voice telling you're not good enough. You're not worthy. So what would your advice be? What do you say to your imaginary voice every day? You know, our boy Andy Frisella calls it the bitch voice. And I think that's what he calls it too. So what do you say to that? Because everybody has it.
10:57
Oh, yeah. It's I mean, the first thing I would say is it's normal. So if you've got that voice happening in your head, don't don't pretend like you are a one of one and nobody's ever dealt with that before. Mine is the biggest asshole you've ever heard. If I could if I could say out loud what my voice says in my head, people would not listen to me. They'd be like, you're crazy.
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And I mean, there's something to be said for that too, though, because you wouldn't talk to somebody else like that. So why do you allow yourself to talk to yourself like that? Like you would punch somebody in the mouth if they said those things, you know, but because it's coming from inside, you're like, yeah, sure. I guess I'll just take it. You know, you're on fire. You're spot on today. Thank you. Keep going. Of course, man. I think it's a balance. You know, I think that you have to simultaneously practice
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an incredible amount of forgiveness and grace yourself, while also holding yourself to an unbelievably high standard. Right? So I think that you should listen to that voice and hear what it has to say, because sometimes it's got a good point. Sometimes it's saying, Hey dude, you could be so much more and you got to take that feedback and do something with it. But at the same time,
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You can't allow that to affect your worth as a human being. And I learned this, Kelly, to be honest with you, I learned this from the sport of gymnastics. Right. There is this skill. Funny enough, it's called Thomas. Right. Now I worked with Eric Thomas, called Thomas, after a guy named Kurt Thomas, who was a U.S. gymnast from the 70s.
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And it's a one and a half twist and a one and a half flip. So most skills in gymnastics, you land on your feet, right? You try and stick the landing. This Thomas skill, it's a full and a half twist. And then you do an extra half of a flip. So you actually land on your hands and do basically a ninja roll out of this thing, right? And if you are a little bit under rotated, you know, if you're five, 10 degrees under rotated from what you should be, you can get paralyzed. There've been athletes who have lost their lives doing that skill.
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And so I have to approach something like that, saying the standard is unbelievably high. The margin for error is zero. The acceptability of failure is zero. Right. Unbelievably high standard. Now, if you make a mistake and for whatever reason you were able to.
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Finesse your way out of that thing. You don't end up getting hurt. You walk away from that. Praise God. But then you got to get back up. You got to go to the corner and you have to practice an incredible amount of self-forgiveness and grace and say, you know, it's all good. I'm just going to do better this time because if you get in your head.
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about, oh my God, I almost, what could have happened there with that mistake? Now you're getting in your head too much about it and now you're going to affect your performance moving forward. So it's this constant balance of unbelievably high standards. You should hold yourself to a high standard. Don't listen to all those people that are like, oh, it's easy, it's okay, don't worry about it. No, hold yourself to the highest standard that you can. And when you don't hit it, practice self-forgiveness and grace and immediately get better and move forward from it without giving it a second thought.
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I always say crabs in a bucket, man. The friends that say it's okay to be average, they're getting, or less than meat ochre, they're getting something from you. And it's probably that they don't have to level up. So it's not okay to be average. I don't agree. But I will tell you what, and how old are you, Brandon?
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I just turned 26 last week, actually. Happy belated birthday. I will say that, yeah, you're a young pup. So I'm 21 years older than you. So I've softened that stance just a bit because if we say, let's do it up here, and most people are down here,
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Let's meet somewhere in between. So that's where we're going to lead up my next question is, what's your advice to someone not in shape and how they get started? They're tired of hearing from me. But if we say, hey, you've got to have a six-pack abs, and that's the gold standard, you've got to be buff, you've got to be ripped, they're going to not even start. So what I say is, hey, just go to the gym. My advice, my answer to the same question, but then I'll turn it over to you is,
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Just do something. One thing. If it's going to the gym, walking on a treadmill, walking outside, whatever you do, just go 10% more than what you're doing today and then 10% more the next day until you reach a level where it starts...
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you're starting to see results. That's my advice and that's the soft inversion because when I was 26, I was you. Hey, every day means every day, excuses don't get results, it's go time. There's no excuses, let's just do it. So what's the 26 year old cut four times from the gymnastics team, ultimately got his goal and now is an amazing keynote motivational speaker and the right hand man to the hip hop preacher, Eric Thomas.
15:48
Man, it's funny that you say that because I've certainly noticed that trend that I think that that mindset does tend to open up just a little bit as you age and you experience more life and you get to see more of just that human journey. You know, so I'm open to it. I'm open to it. But I would say at least the current perspective that I have would be take that same mindset and scale it down to as micro of a level as you can manage.
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Meaning if you can hold yourself to a super high standard of I'm going to go walk on the treadmill for five minutes and I'm going to walk the best that I can walk. This is how I built my entire career. I went to a gymnastics camp when I was 15 years old and we couldn't afford to go to it. And so I was working to pay off my tuition and I was literally scrubbing toilets and you know, it's a gymnastics camp. So somebody got sick and threw up and that was my job to clean it up and just all sorts of stuff. And before I left to go do this, my mom told me, Hey,
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You're going to clean toilets. You go be the best damn toilet scrubber they've ever had ever. And that was how I took that. So I said, OK, I'm going to be I'm going to hold myself to the highest standard possible. It's going to be the cleanest toilet you've ever seen in your freaking life. And I'm going to take this mindset and scale it down to the level at which I can manage, which is I can clean the toilet the best that I can. If the best thing that you can do is just walk into the gym. Kelly, I used to do personal training when I was in college.
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That was how I was paying for stuff because I was on student loans, but nobody was helping me get through school other than the government. So I had to pay for stuff. So I did personal training in college. I had clients where I would have them for the first week just walk into a gym, turn around, walk out because they were nervous and anxious about going to a gym because they felt so out of place. So I said, I want you to walk into the gym. I want you to take a lap. I want you to walk out, get in your car, go home. That's your assignment. Do it seven days in a row and do it the best that you can. When you walk in there, high standard, shoulders back, head up.
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act like you're meant to be there and then turn around and walk out. And then next week we'll get on the treadmill and then next week we'll pick up a dumbbell. And then, so I a hundred percent agree with you, but whatever those bite-sized chunks are, kill it, kill it. And I love setting super extraordinary things.
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big, hairy, audacious goals. And then even if you don't achieve it and you get 90% of it, if you set an easily achievable goal, you still exceeded that. So I'm going to skip a question just because you just went into it. And I don't understand. I don't want you to be modest. You have a double major in economics and psychology and even turned down 60 grand a year to coach gymnastics right out of college to...
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intern for et tell them how you stalked him the lesson because i absolutely love this this this what he just said the reason why i'm asking you this is what you just said you just you live it this is not you're not doing this uh for money you're not you actually walk the talk and this story
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exemplifies it. So, so tell us how you came about and just tell us a story. It was great. This, this is a fun one to tell. So I was in Ann Arbor and I was a junior in college at the time going through a lot of stuff, you know, of course, getting cut from the gymnastics team four times in five years is just constantly physical pain, of course, because, you know, surgeries have my wrist reconstructed. You're always sore. You're working out seven hours a day.
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So there was that aspect of it constantly being told you're not good enough. You know, when you get cut from the team, that takes a little bit of a toll on self-esteem. And during that same time period, the girl that I had been seeing for three years was physically assaulted. My dad was diagnosed with cancer twice. My mom was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. No big deal. You know, it's nothing. You're all. Yeah. I mean, yeah. As a 20 year old, you're just like, dang, this is kind of a lot, you know, in a very convinced time. Yeah.
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And I just got in my first car. It's actually really funny because I had some mixed emotions about it. It was a 2008 Ultima Coupe, right? And I don't know if anybody follows like the internet memes and stuff. People always make fun of Nissan Ultimas anyway. And it was a Coupe and I'm a bigger guy. And people said it looked like a clown car. And it was given to me as a hand-me-down by my biological father who wasn't really, you know, he had left my mom or my mom and them had split up before I was ever even born.
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So my stepdad, when I say my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I'm really referring to my stepdad. He's been there for me since day one. So to me, that's my man. Right. But I had some weird feelings about it because it's like, OK, my biological father, we weren't really that close. He just gives me a car. I had some mixed emotions about it. And then this is what's funny. The thing barely ran. It was a piece of junk through and through. All I wanted to do was put a speaker system in there. That's it.
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That's all I cared about. That's the only thing that mattered to me was getting a subwoofer in there. So I had just gotten it fitted for a sub at the local audio shop. $250 was going to be what it cost. I'm currently making $100 a week working for the same team that I had been cut from. I'm scrolling on Instagram. I see an ad from this guy named Eric Thomas. I've been following him for a while because, you know, going through all this stuff, I need some motivation. And it says, one-on-one coaching session with ET, $250. I said, ain't no way.
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Ain't no way this guy charges 50, 60, a hundred thousand dollars an hour. There's no way. And you know, there's some trepidation there. Cause I don't know if he's going to be the same person and a coaching session as he is on YouTube. I don't know him like that. You know, what if it's totally different. And for whatever reason, I had this voice in my head say, man, forget the speaker invest in this thing. 250 same price. This thing could pay off dividends for your life. You're not going to care about that 30 years from now. So I do it. I make the call.
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We jump on the phone. He finds out that I live in Ann Arbor. He's in Lansing, Michigan. He says, come meet me for breakfast, five o'clock in the morning this weekend. I was just like, dude, are you serious? Like, do you know who you are? I'm nobody. Do you know who you are? And you're inviting me for breakfast? And so I drive out there, wake up at three o'clock in the morning just so I can get out there at 5 a.m. I didn't know three o'clock in the morning was a real hour on the clock. I'd heard about it. I'd never experienced it myself. So like
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I drive out there and I talk to him. And from that day forward, I was just stuck to him. And I didn't know why. I just knew that this was somebody that I needed to be around. You know, I didn't understand exactly what it was, but I knew that if I could get close to him, I think that it would improve my life somehow, someway. You know, it was just this feeling. And I started volunteering at everything that I could, all the events, all the conferences. I found out that he had a free event that he did at Michigan State University every Monday. And so for two years straight,
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I would wake up, do morning practice at 7 a.m. I would go to class from 8 to 12. I would coach at that time from 12 to 4. I would jump in the car. I would drive out to Michigan State. I would watch E.T. do his thing. I would get back in the car, drive back to Ann Arbor, and then coach personal training sessions at night to pay for the gas that I'd spent to get to Lansing. And I did that for two years straight the week before COVID hit.
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I look up and I'm about to graduate in what, two months. This is March of 2020. And I put together this document, 60 pages worth of cover letter, resume. My disk assessment was in there. I did my research. I knew he was into that kind of thing. And writing samples because I was so
23:07
So much a scared, introverted kid that I couldn't speak. I couldn't articulate myself. I was so scared to speak in front of anybody, literally to the point of having panic attacks as a fifth year senior on the first day of class, having to stand up in front of 18 people and say, hey, my name is Brandon, studying economics and psychology. That would get me like sweating, shaking everything. So I couldn't speak, but I could always write.
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So I printed out like 50 pages, freaking half of a book worth of just motivational, philosophical stuff that I had written about. I put this all in a folder and ET, he finished his presentation that night. He says, hey, everybody, I keep hearing about this coronavirus thing. My wife has a mess. I can't risk it. I can't stick around and take pictures. He walked out the back door of the arena that night. I run up two flights of stairs, left my teammate who was with me, left my girlfriend, left my backpack, left my laptop, left everything, sprinted up two flights of stairs.
23:57
I beat him to his car. I knew where I parked his car every week. That was a little bit crazy. And I beat him to his car. So, and I always tell people, Kelly, I'm glad I did this when I was 20 and not 40, because I probably would have gotten a restraining order if I had done it when I was older. But for whatever reason, ET was like, okay, I guess he's harmless. He's just ambitious. And I meet him outside. I'm standing between him and his car. So, like, he can't leave without talking to me. And I just hand him this folder.
24:23
And the whole script of everything I wanted to say to convince him to give me a shot went out the window because I was so nervous because this is like this godlike figure to me, you know. And I handed him the folder, said I'll do anything for an opportunity to work with you. And he committed to giving me an unpaid internship on the spot. And I worked for him all throughout the summer of COVID. Like you said, turned down 60 grand a year, which is more than my parents have ever made combined just to complete the internship. Yeah.
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And thank God I woke up at five o'clock in the morning one day from a text from ET saying, how much do you want to make in your first year full time about four months after this? So.
24:56
It worked out in the end. Bro, bold, massive action. I love it. You went after your dreams and you took it. And that's resilience. That's harder than life right there. And I appreciate it. I've reached out to ET twice. He's turned me down twice, but I'm going to keep going. Now, if I come rolling up on him, he's going to think I want to do something.
25:18
He's from the hood like I am, so I get it. Man, you are so remarkable, and I love everything about you, and I can't wait to see you speak and share a stage with you, and I want everybody to run over to all platforms and follow you. You are remarkable. Your content is inspiring. Your smile is infectious, and it is at I am B. Burns for Brandon Burns.
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on every platform. So it'll be in the show notes, everybody. And then while you're at it, run over to everydaymeanseveryday.com and give him a follow. He does one-on-one coaching and you can already hear the inspiration that this dude does. Now,
25:56
Don't worry about the intensity. You'll inch your way up there. But get started today because look at this dude living the life of his dreams. And he did it with brute force. And so, which is, you are huge on accountability. Who holds you accountable? Is it E.T., your girlfriend, or as I suspect, yourself?
26:21
It's a little bit of everybody. Right. So I like that you mentioned, you know, ET and my girlfriend because they both do it in different ways. So when I'm with ET, there's a certain standard of behavior that even if I would find it acceptable because his standards are so clear and so high, there are certain things I can't even do around him. Like I don't use profanity when I'm around him because I know he doesn't use profanity.
26:43
So even though I don't necessarily care and I'll do it in my personal life, his standards are so high and so incredible. Like he lives that so much that it can't help but affect the way that I carry myself when I'm around him. So he holds me accountable in that way. My girlfriend holds me accountable because we've been together for five years since before, you know, she's been with me since being cut from the team and being, you know, completely broke in college and, you know, all the other things. So for her, her accountability is more like,
27:13
I don't care who you are and all these great things that you're doing now. I know the real you, and I'm not going to let you get away with anything.
27:19
So that type of accountability is just as good. It's just different. And then there is that accountability that for me, it's a very spiritual accountability. You can say self-accountability. You can say spiritual accountability where I just feel like it's disrespectful to the gifts that I've been given and the opportunities and the potential that I've been given to not make as much of it as I possibly could. So there's that self-accountability as well, for sure. So.
27:46
Talk a little bit about the company you keep. We've all, we always hear this. You are the, some of the five people you hang out with the most. You just touched on them. And you got an ecosystem around you, which hopefully will include me soon as you can get your butt back into Michigan sometimes. And I'm the same way, man. I read all of Eric's books. And...
28:06
I love what he's about and how dedicated he is to his wife. And even, you know, she's sick and he's just, he loves her and it's evident. I love love. And it's like you're meant to be there. So talk a little bit about your ecosystem and who you choose to surround yourself with and how that inspires you. Or the flip side, which we all see is when someone does come into your system and they're maybe an energy vampire and how you deal with that.
28:36
Man, that last part's really big for me personally, because I think it's something that I did a really poor job of when I was a little bit younger when I was in college. And probably not the way most people would think. A lot of people are a little bit too forgiving and a little bit too open, and they allow some of those energy vampires into their life, and they don't do anything about it. I was the opposite.
28:59
I, from day one, was a little bit of a hard-edged loner type. Like I had no problem being alone. I think part of that was I was an only child. I was homeschooled from second grade through high school graduation. So I was used to being alone. Gymnastics is pretty much an individual sport. So I was just used to that. And man, when I was in college, if I didn't like you and I thought that you were destructive to or not in alignment with where I was trying to go and take my life,
29:24
you were just cut. Like it was just, I don't, you're dead to me. Like Kevin O'Leary, Shark Tank style, you're dead. And, you know, as I've gotten a little bit older, I've recognized that there are some more harmonious ways of doing that, where you can still protect your own standards and protect your own energy without necessarily just completely cutting somebody off and being a little bit abrasive about it. You know, so that's something that I've gotten a whole lot better at. But, you know, to the point of what company do I keep,
29:53
It's really just people. I try and stay around people that inspire me. You know, I remember there was this time in Columbus, Ohio. ET had done a gig for Ohio State football, and we all went out to lunch together. It was just a few of us that are kind of in that circle. And we're sitting there, and it's me.
30:08
It's the former quarterback of Ohio State, who was an NFL guy. I won't say his name, but you would know him. It's E.T. It's E.T.'s business coach, you know, because E.T., same idea. He surrounds himself with people that are smarter than him and coaches and everything else. You think, well, why does a multimillionaire with 15 companies need a business coach? That's why he's a multimillionaire with 15 companies, right? So his business coach is there. And we go around the table and we're just talking. Right.
30:32
And the quarterback talks about how he just raised $3 million to start a freaking school. And then E.T.'s talking about how he's about to up his price to $200,000 an hour for his keynotes because his book just hit the New York Times bestseller list. His business coach is talking about how he's raised $30 million to start churches all around the country. And I'm just sitting there and I think I'm like, I'm what, 24 at the time making six figures thinking I'm the man. And we go around the room and I'm like, oh, my gosh, there's so much.
31:01
that I have not even scratched the surface of, you know? And so I try and stay around those people because one, they're all incredibly successful. They inspire me to do more. And two, they've done it with integrity and they've done it with honesty and they've done it without letting other parts of their life slip. I know a lot of rich people who cheat on their wife. I don't want to, I don't like, I don't have any use for you in my life. Sorry. But like, you're not the holistic person that I need to surround myself with.
31:28
And I'll say this to finish with it. You know, people talk about, well, okay, that's great. But I don't have a circle of an ET or his business coach or like all these incredible people. And I acknowledge I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams to be around these people. I knew ET before I knew ET because I was watching every piece of content that he produced. If you're watching this right now and you don't follow Kelly on every single platform that he's on.
31:53
You're not doing all that you could to get this man's wisdom, to get his character by extension. Right. So I would just say if you're following Worldstar, you're not following Kelly Siegel. You got a problem. You know, you got to surround yourself with these people before you can physically surround yourself with these people. You do it mentally. So it's important, though, man, those people rub off on you and they're going to rub off on you either positively or negatively. Either way, it's going to happen. You're not above it. So take care who you pick to be in that circle.
32:21
Yeah, once you become the person you attract them to, so I've been doing this five months. By the time this airs, it'll be seven months, but I now can reach out to people, big people, and they respond to me. So it's, you know, genuine and authenticity cannot be faked. So you've done the work, and, you know, in 10 years, and not even 10 years, you'll be doing, you're saying the same thing. So work works. I should have started with this, but...
32:49
Why don't you give your story and why your story matters and then go into what inspired you to pursue gymnastics? Because you just touched – we've touched all about your childhood but haven't really talked about it. And then what specifically sent you down the gymnastics? Because gymnastics, if any – people even don't know.
33:07
is incredibly hard it is all shoulders it is the massive amount of discipline it's almost like gymnastics chose you and you didn't choose gymnastics but explain your your backstory of your of your upbringing because you were talking a little bit about your biological father and your stepfather and you know homeschooled we kind of talked a little bit of it explain the backstory and how it led you into gymnastics
33:32
Yeah, 100%. So the the abbreviated version is born and raised Huntsville, Alabama, relatively small city. Apparently now it's like on all the top 10 list of best places. For me, it's just home and it's a small town in Alabama that I don't really want to go back to. But apparently it's a great place. So check it out if you're trying to make a move. Born and raised there.
33:53
And, you know, like you mentioned, biological father separated with my mom before I was ever born. Stepfather came into the picture also before I was ever born. And that's like the most amazing thing to me. My dad is legitimately my hero. He is the best. I'm super, super privileged. I didn't earn that. I didn't deserve it. I just just got a straight up blessing with him. You know, he's he's incredible.
34:15
And the fact that he was willing to allow me into his family and take on that responsibility that was not his obligation at all is just such an amazing testament to his character. Hardest worker I've ever seen. You know, I think I get a lot of that mentality from him because even when he was going through his cancer treatments and everything.
34:33
It was always this too shall pass. It was always if you don't mind, it don't matter. It was always if I'm going to feel bad sitting on the couch, I may as well feel bad going to work and being like all just the dad stuff, you know. And I think I picked up a lot of that as a kid. And but but that was him. And then, you know, fast forward really 10 years. I was 10 years old when I started the sport of gymnastics.
34:59
And I never knew why. To this day, I don't know why I started the sport of gymnastics. I never saw it on TV. At least I don't remember it if I did. Nobody in my family has ever done the sport. I just went to my parents one day and I was like, I really want to try this. And I started trying to walk around on my hands in the house and all sorts of crazy stuff. And my parents were like, okay, so that he doesn't kill himself, we should probably put him in some classes. And I remember going to the gym one day.
35:24
And I did a little free trial class and the coach and the director of that facility came over to us and said, OK, do you want to do the gymnastics classes, which are all six events in men's gymnastics? Or do you want to do the tumbling class, which is just, you know, the floor exercise acrobatics? And I knew full and well, even at 10 years old, that we couldn't afford hardly one class per week, much less we could certainly not afford both. But it was a decision that had to be made. And I looked my mom straight in the eyes and said both.
35:51
And that was the beginning of a both and mentality, you know. But I have no idea what caused it. I think it was truly a calling. I think that's the kind of thing that when you're 10 years old, you just don't question. And when you grow up, you start to say, oh, well, does this make sense? Is this logical for me to do? And I think that's a bunch of nonsense. I think you got to tap back into that inner 10-year-old that just says, you know what? This feels like it's in alignment. Let's just do it and see what happens. And that turned into a journey that was just...
36:19
And you mentioned the homeschooling thing. It worked out because, of course, when you're a gymnast, you're training 20, 30 plus hours a week, even at those ages. You know, you can be 13, 14 years old putting in 30 plus hours a week in the gym. So homeschooling was actually a great blessing for us because it allowed us the time and the freedom to do that.
36:38
The reason why was because I was going to a private Catholic school up until second grade. And we were not we didn't identify as Catholic. We were Episcopalian. I could care less about denominations these days. I think your spiritual journey is your spiritual journey. But that was how I was raised was Episcopalian. And because we technically were not Catholic by the book, they were upping the tuition prices on everybody who wasn't Catholic. To me, that sounds discriminatory and like, you know, like you get canceled for it these days. But whatever, they got away with it because it's a private school. They can do what they want.
37:08
And it got to the point where that was happening simultaneously. My father was laid off from his job. So all of a sudden we're in some financial challenges. My mom's got medical bills. Dad got laid off. Private school was increasing tuition. We couldn't do it. The public school that we were zoned for was literally across the street from the state prison. It's like county line road, state prison, school. And the school had a horrible reputation. My mom was like, we ain't doing it. We ain't doing it.
37:35
And she said, we're going to figure out this homeschooling thing. You got to remember this is in like 2005 or something like that. And it'd be a little past that, like 08. So this is before homeschooling was a accepted thing. Now it's a little bit more normal and it's kind of a thing people know about. In 2008, it was like, you're going to do what to your child? You're going to screw up his future and he's got to have no social life. Like all these stigmas, right? But my mom, I think same mentality, figure it out, get it done. And yeah.
38:02
it ended up being a great blessing because I had that time to really pour into gymnastics, walked onto the team at 18 years old and we kind of had picked up the story from there earlier. So that's the, just so we're clear. That's university of Michigan gymnastics, right? I mean, this is no slouch. This is you, you, you,
38:20
I got to give a shout out to your mom. You know, it's no secret that my mom wasn't the greatest. My stepdad wasn't half of your stepdad. But they did instill some toughness in me. So I got to give them credit where credit is due. But, man, I just I love hearing when a family doesn't have these big financial means, but there's lots of love. And I believe anything can be accomplished with love and everything is love. So I love that you just love love.
38:50
That 10-year-old Brandon was incredibly self-aware. And I was in Florida, at my Florida house, and I was on the 4th of July, and I was out in the middle of the ocean in the area where everybody was partying. And obviously I had my shirt off and I was walking around. And a 10-year-old kid came up to me and asked me, he said, I'm starting football and I want to gain weight. I want to be the best coach.
39:17
Can you teach me? They didn't even know me from anybody. And I sat there.
39:21
And I didn't know he was 10 until I, if I'm only going to ask him, he was completely articulate, knew exactly what he wanted. So that's a little, he was a little ET running around there. Cause and his mom came over and then the dad came over and the brother and sister came over and they all just like, I was this weird alien to talk to, but I gave him all kinds of advice and he loved it. And I said, follow me. And you know, here's my Instagram. If you need something, reach out to me. And he, I can imagine you were like that. And I was, I,
39:50
remarkably proud of him. So I'm sure he's got this dude, 10 years old. He looked like he was 20. I mean, he was a big guy. I was like, go, go eat people, lift weights. We started in Georgia and like 12 years from now, probably Florida. But, but anyways, what advice would you give somebody when they fail? I would say, learn everything that you can. I call that a learn it all.
40:20
Learn it all and move fast. And I would say this, man, it's hard to see it when you're in it. Like when you're in the eye of the storm, it's really hard to see how it's going to help you. And I remember that same gymnastics camp that I was cleaning toilets at, they had some Olympians come in every week and do motivational speeches. And Carly Patterson, Olympic gold medalist, actually a good friend of mine now, she coined this phrase, hard work never disappears. And I didn't understand what it meant.
40:48
when I first heard it, because you heard kind of the story. I'm getting cut from the team four times in five years. I'm working my butt off. I'm like, it looks like it's disappearing. I don't see any results anywhere, you know? And it took me a little bit of maturing to realize that that hard work didn't manifest into a medal or a trophy, but it did manifest into a,
41:08
a character that I wouldn't have been able to achieve without it. It manifested into me knowing that I'm willing to work harder than 99% of people for five years in a row without getting any results. It manifested into me knowing I don't need a carrot to chase to outwork somebody, you know? And so it did manifest into something, even though it wasn't the thing that I wanted, it was equally as productive and equally as valid and equally as worthy. And so if you're failing right now, just understand that everything that you put into it,
41:36
even if the end result was failure, that work did not disappear. And if you are intentional about looking for it in your life and that internal result that you got from it, it's more important who you become than what you get. So if you became somebody in that process, if you failed, learn from it, move on, try it again. But it's still worth it. And that's my biggest fear is like people...
41:59
fear failure. And so they fear trying. And so they don't go through that work in that process to become somebody else because they're afraid that they're like, well, what's the point? I'm telling you, the result is not even the point. It's great. And you should strive for it. And you can be motivated by it all day long, but that's not the point. It's who you become. So even if you fail, work just as hard, enjoy it just as much.
42:24
The reward never is as good. Everybody gets crazy when people say this. And everybody says this, and I'm going to reiterate it. The reward of the goal isn't as cool as you think it's going to be. It's what you become. It's the process. I always say marry the process, divorce the outcome. Because when you get the outcome, you're like, okay, now what? And if you're like you and I, we're on to the next thing. We don't even take a minute. Well, we take one minute to...
42:50
savor that and then it's okay how can we raise the bar hindsight's 20 20 of a common thing that we say so if you look back at all these struggles in life they will line up so this is working for you as long as you're not sabotaging it and i would tell you most people won't you will i would have given up after three cuts you went four so kudos to you man i mean i i don't i am stubborn to a fault i
43:18
I believe everybody is good. I believe in myself. I trust myself and I will outwork everybody besides you. And I'm going to keep going. And sometimes it gets me in trouble and you got to know when to fold them. But that experience that you gain with hard work, you're right, is invaluable. I didn't even think of that. That was brilliant. Routines are very important to winners. Tell the audience about your daily routine from the moment you wake up in the morning until the moment you go to bed.
43:49
Man, that is a really good question because I've been on a journey with the routines. For the longest time, I've been a fan of kind of the Alex Ramosi style. You don't need a routine. You're using it as a crutch. Just wake up and work. And so I've kind of done that for the last probably two years straight. Just wake up, work. Wake up, work.
44:12
Now, I always had daily non-negotiables, so I've always got to get a one-hour workout in. It doesn't matter when, but I've got to get a one-hour workout in, right? I read my Bible every day, right? It doesn't matter when it happens. It doesn't matter if it's for five minutes, but I got to read something from that every day. Is that in lieu of a meditation or no? No.
44:32
It shouldn't be, but usually it is. Okay. To me, I would tell you, and I'm interested to see Eric's idea on that. I think that they're one and the same. I believe a meditation is a lot like prayer, but that's just me. I've heard that prayer is you talking to God and meditation is God talking to you. And I think there's a lot of truth. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Yeah.
44:57
Oh, I've recently become God curious. I, somebody has been aligning my life. I don't know who the hell it is, but something is lining me up. Cause I should be dead or in jail. And so I get that and I'm all about it. I don't believe I'm religious, but I'm spiritual and I know all about religion.
45:15
And I just I love everybody. I don't care what you are or who what God you believe or what you think as long as you're a good person. I'm going to love you and you're an amazing person and I love that. So keep going. Let's talk about your non-negotiables. That's what the people want to hear is what do you have to do every day? Man, it's a really, really good question. And first of all, I want to touch on that because there's so many people that.
45:39
like you said, are God curious and they get turned off by all the religious stuff and churchianity, right? Please don't worry about that stuff. I work for a full-time pastor and motivational speaker. And he says the same thing. You don't want to read the Bible, don't read the Bible. You don't want to go to church, don't go to church. But develop a relationship with whatever creator or universe or spiritual energy that you resonate with.
46:00
Because it'll get you more results than anything else that you do. And all the hard work talk is amazing. But aligning yourself with whatever that spiritual energy is will get you more results easier and faster than anything else you could ever possibly do. That's a quick aside. Okay. The non-negotiables. Working out, non-negotiable. Every day means every day. Every day means every day. Those are the only two where I'm like, come hell or high water, they have to happen. They just have to happen. Now, here's the interesting thing about the routine thing.
46:30
Like I said, I did that daily non-negotiable thing for two or three years. I'm starting to figure out in real time, this is a transition that you're kind of, you're getting to see it, that that isn't always the best thing for my energy and holistic productivity. Because when you wake up at say 5.30 or 6 in the morning, and then immediately you go into work and you're giving your time to other people or even your own business, but it's not you personally.
46:58
I think it can lead to burnout if you're not careful. And so I've just now started to say, okay, maybe the routine should be no phone for an hour, wake up and do the workout and the reading the Bible first, get some meditation in, go for a walk, do something like that, and then go directly into work and blinders on and go, go, go. So I think you got to find what works for you. But I'm definitely learning as we speak to invest in myself and protect some of that time early on in the day.
47:27
Self-care is not selfish. And I tell you, these phones are, they're just, they're a necessary evil, but I, I, I, I go in waves where I shut my phone off at night. So I don't tend to look at it at all so I can sleep better. But it's the first thing I look at every morning. It's, and it's, I, I hate that I do that, but you know, I got to look and see what my day looks like, even though I looked at it the night before and I got it, you know, but I go right into self-care. It's,
47:53
gratitude, it's meditation, journaling, then right straight to the gym. And this all happens before most people are awake. I'm at the gym at hopefully five o'clock in the morning. So, and that's what works for me. It's just, I know that if I don't get it out of the way in the morning, there's a, there's a high degree of probability I'm going to miss it because my day gets crazy. I'm an IT company and I'm launching a personal brand. It's busy.
48:16
Um, so I get pulled in 85 different directions all the time. So I want to get it out first. You know, what do they say? Do the hardest thing first. And the hardest thing is my workout. Yeah. Can you share any hobbies or interests outside of the personal development professional life that you have? Man, honestly, gymnastics has always been that, that thing for me was my first love. It still to this day is my anchor.
48:39
It's getting a little bit more challenging, obviously, both physically as I'm getting a little bit older here. And of course, time wise, but I'm still in the gym, you know, multiple times a week, the gymnastics gym. So this is in addition to the daily workouts and in the weight room. I'm still in the gym multiple times a week. And that has always been that passion that's kept me grounded. That's re-energized me. So that is that's that's the hobby. Other than that.
49:04
Huge car guy. Huge car guy. I like to drive fast. I've been noticing that on your social media. Are those your cars that I'm seeing? Yeah.
49:12
Just the one, the Z06. Yeah, that one's mine. I love that thing. Hard work pays off. And I will tell you that if you, again, follow IMB Burns on everything because this guy will show you every day does mean every day, and he'll do workouts in his hotel room. He'll do burpees. He'll do – I'm like, oh, that's where you beat me. If I can't get to a gym – now, I will go for a walk –
49:40
Or a run if I can't do anything. But as far as in a hotel room, I'll go to their crappy gym and lift whatever stupid weights that they have. I got to lift weights. If it's not a weightlifting day, I just don't feel like I worked out.
49:55
So follow you. I know, I know. You're such an inspiration and I'm so grateful that you're on and thank you for making the time because this was a long thing in the works. We've been trying to get you in person and I want you to promise me that the next time you are here, we will come in person and shoot one because I think the energy will be off the chain. If we can get Eric here, we won't even get a word in.
50:19
Right. You touched on this, but I like to ask this question. What is your biggest fear? Being average. And it is. And as an extension of that, dying with something left on the table. Like it's funny to me because I think I've lived an interesting life, you know, and everybody has their story. I think everybody's lived an interesting life.
50:45
But I've been close enough to death that it's given me an interesting perspective on it. Just last year in 2022, I was holding my grandmother's hand when she passed. So my stepdad was there as well. And it was his mother. And we were able to send her on our way. Before that, the year before that, my coach, long time coach, who actually, he was the one who got me over that fear, because I didn't even mention this.
51:13
I started competing in gymnastics when I was 16. That's ancient for most people. Most kids start competing when they're like four or five. And a big part of that was financial because I had to switch gyms and I had to get a job coaching so that I could pay to switch gyms because they weren't giving us the same tuition breaks as the other gym. And the big part of it was also anxiety because I, like I said, super scared, super introverted. So the idea of doing even the sport that I loved in front of a hundred people, oh my God, dude, that was terrifying to me.
51:43
So, you know, there was that whole transition there, but this coach that I'm referring to coach Larry, he was the one who got me over that hump and he was able to connect with me in such a way where I just genuinely felt like he was in my corner. And I felt like I had the freedom to fail. And I felt like I had the freedom to, if this all goes wrong, it's scary and horrible. Like I think it's going to be, things would be okay because he was in my corner. So he was a huge inspiration to me and he had, he had passed, you know, in 2021 and,
52:10
The year before that. So I've seen enough of it, you know, close up personally, that I'm really not afraid of the concept of death anymore. Like I've kind of made peace with the fact that we're all here for a limited time. It's a finite experience. But what I haven't made peace with is the idea that if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, I don't think I'm OK with the level of impact that I've made up until now.
52:37
I'm proud of the impact that I've made up until now. And I'm very happy and grateful beyond belief with some of the blessings I've had in my life and just some of the things that I've been able to do and accomplish. But I know that there's more. And the thought of leaving this experience with something on the table that especially something on the table that I could have done for others, for the greater good, that scares me in a way that is incredibly difficult to articulate. And it bothers me.
53:07
And it's something that I'm just not okay with. And so I think that's the biggest fear is dying while leaving something on the table. Be savage, not average. The one thing you didn't talk about is how did you overcome those fears? The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I say to everybody, face your fears, live your dreams. How did you overcome those fears?
53:34
It was a process. You know, I don't ever want to mislead people because I know I can be a little hard-edged, aggressive. You know, you can do it. You've got to do every day means every day. But you do it so nicely. I will tell you, I do it like a hard ass. You are so much softer than me and Eric, for that matter. So kudos to you. And I want to tell you, at 26, I was doing nothing. I was partying, having a good time. So you are...
54:03
bananas remarkable. So give yourself a pat on the back. And I know, I know for a fact that you're just scratching the surface, you can see it in your eyes, you can feel the energy. And I'm just honored to know you. So keep going with that, that answer that question. I apologize for interrupting, but that was just too. That genuinely means a lot coming from you. And actually, a matter of fact, I've been
54:27
traveling so much lately that I hadn't really got a chance to dive into this thing, but I was, I can speed read a little bit. So I read the first 50 pages of this this morning and dude, there's so many things I want to ask you. I don't even have a podcast, but like, I want to interview you because I,
54:42
Not even interview, but I think it should be an interview because there's some people that would benefit from it. But just some personal stuff that I'm like, man, he he has the wisdom that that I need. So, yeah, by the way, if you know, it's your promo, but if you haven't read this yet, please hold it up. My heart of their life book for those are not watching the video. I appreciate that. It.
55:05
That was scary. I'm going to tell you. I wrote some things in there that I didn't, I forgot. Because the whole process was like 18 months. And when I read it, I broke down in tears. It was not easy. And then I've done it so much healing that I'm not the same person I was last week, let alone, you know, when I wrote that. So I'm like you, if it helps somebody, and it has. I went Amazon bestseller multiple weeks. I have lots of people reaching out to me. And I'm just, I'm blessed and honored.
55:35
moment where everything changed in my life was I decided to to choose to not drink alcohol anymore I'm wondering what your association with alcohol do you drink very occasionally not not a lot not a lot it's something that I've um I'm I'm and I want to go back and answer the uh uh how do you get over the fears question a second too I'm very self-aware um yeah I say that humbly but I think
56:03
I'm naturally introverted. And like I said, I've spent a lot of time by myself, just homeschooling, gymnastics, whatever. I've spent a lot of time by myself. And I think when you do that, you have to learn. One, you have to learn yourself. And two, you have to learn to accept yourself. And two is a whole lot harder than one. One is hard. Two is really hard. But I'm very, very self-aware. And so I didn't drink at all until I was, I don't think I've ever talked about this publicly. I didn't drink at all until I was 19. So I got through my freshman year.
56:30
because I knew that we have a history of addiction in my family and that scared me. So I wanted to make sure that I was at least okay. Like I got through the first year of school, gymnastics was going, you know, getting up to the team, but I, I, I kind of had a handle on it on the schedule on the system and, um,
56:47
I eased into it and I kind of made sure that, you know, this isn't something that is going to have a hold over me. So I tried to be smart about the way I did it, which, and like, I know what I can get away with and what I can't get away with. So I know that I can get away with the drink every once in a while. I also know that if I go have a surgery or a procedure and they give me, you know, pills, I know that I take them as needed and that I flush them because I like that too much. And I feel the pull that it has on me. And I'm like, okay, no, you know, so you just kind of got to, you got to be smart about stuff like that. Um, yeah.
57:17
But really quick, I do want to address that fear question. You know, how did I get over those fears? I think where I was going with that was even though I'm pretty straightforward with my mindset now, I don't ever want people to assume that that is just how I was born, you know? And yes, there were some certain things there with my parents that had that figured out, get it done mentality. And I think some of that rubbed off on me from an early age. But.
57:41
me even competing in gymnastics was a year long process. Like I literally remember standing in the hallway of my 900 square foot house that we grew up in just breaking down, crying and sitting on the floor as a like 15 year old. Like I was old enough to not do that, but I was so scared of making that decision. And I think it was a combination of the people that I had around me. And I say it's a combination of a few things, but really that's like 90%. It was the people I had around me.
58:10
It was my parents. It was my coaches. It was the people that made me feel that safety where, you know, it is scary, but you should try it anyway. That was huge for me. And knowing that I would be okay, even if things went terribly wrong.
58:24
That support system was massive for me. That second part was, what else do you got to lose? You're going to be okay. Either way, at least try. Where you won't be okay is when you're in your deathbed and you regret not even trying. I don't even want to feel that, man. And honestly, if I don't try something and I go to bed that night, oh, do I get hard on myself. I will tell you, as we peel back the layers of you, you keep getting more and more and more fascinating.
58:54
You're a homeschooled and an introvert. Most people, when they're introverted and they're homeschooled, are probably going to need alcohol or they think they need alcohol to be social. And here you are facing your fears, not only performing in front of thousands of people on TV, also now you're doing speaking engagements in front of thousands of people that are streamed to millions. And...
59:21
Look at we're facing your fears going right into being the buffalo and going right into the storm and getting through that storm faster because you went straight into it. I'm proud of you. And I cannot wait to see where you where you're headed next. And I want to be there for you. And is there something tell us something you believe in that almost nobody agrees with you on? That's a great question.
59:47
Something that I believe in that almost nobody agrees with me on. Um, I would say, I think I touched on it earlier. I think being able to have that dichotomy of incredibly high standards and incredible self-forgiveness. I think that's something that a lot of people don't believe in. And what's funny is, you know, cause again, I worked for a pastor and, you know, I'm, I'm kind of in that, that spiritual space myself.
1:00:12
So I ended up doing a lot of stuff with believers and faith-based conferences, stuff like that. And those are the people that give me the hardest time because they're like, you know, you can't believe in those two things at the same time. I'm like, have you ever read a holy book? Any holy book? I don't care if it's the Bible or not. Any holy book. That's all that it is, is this dichotomy of.
1:00:33
Here are the rules. Here are the incredibly strict standards where if you deviate at all, you know, this is the life of sin that will send you to hell. And also, all you have to do to be redeemed is X, Y, and Z. And then, like, you're starting anew.
1:00:48
You know what I mean? Like that's all that these books are saying. So the fact that people don't believe in that concept of no, I can hold myself to a very high standard and also be very forgiving and loving and understanding with who I am as a human being, who's going to make mistakes is, is strange to me. And gymnastics taught me that because in gymnastics, we are scored based on perfection, right? So the way that it works, I mean, I'll use the women's gymnastics scoring system because it's easier to understand than men's because men's is really complicated. Women's,
1:01:17
is the perfect 10, right? We pretty much know you're not going to get the perfect 10. Like, never really happens. But that's still what you train for. That's still what you're judged off of is a standard of perfection. And if you don't get it,
1:01:33
It's okay. That's the game. You see how good you can get. You see how close you can get. That's the whole game. Well, that's what Giannis, the Milwaukee Bucks center said. He's like, you know, hey, just because we didn't win the championship doesn't mean it was a failure. It's part of learning and the experience and living life and giving it everything you got. It's the people. I think what you're saying so elegantly is that,
1:02:00
it's most people won't even try. And that's, it's in the pursuit of the trying. That's all the fun and who knows what's possible and how good can you handle life? So I asked a lot of people this question and I always say career, what single project or task would you consider the most significant accomplishment in your career today? But I'm going to say, I say career because most people say they're kids. You don't have children yet. So,
1:02:28
What is the single most important task or project or anything that you think? What is the thing that you're most proud of in life? Oh, okay. So those are two slightly different questions. The thing that I'm most proud of in life is, man.
1:02:48
I'm, you know, I don't spend a whole lot of time stopping and reflecting on it as I as I probably should. I've gotten very accustomed to living a very fast paced lifestyle. But I think the thing that I'm most proud of is the decisions that I've made in the face of fear, because I know like I know who I am and where I started. And I know that you are speaking to a very anxious, very.
1:03:17
feels like the world is out to get him very hesitant, doesn't believe in himself, doesn't really love himself that much. Kid from, from a small town in Alabama that couldn't even order his own food at a restaurant when he was like 17 years old. Cause he was so scared and like, that's who you're talking to right now. So, so it was the decision to compete in gymnastics. It was the decision to speak on stage for the first time with ET. It was the decision, like those decisions are what I'm proud of because I,
1:03:44
I'm even if it doesn't look like that much on the outside, like there's other things that I could list that probably look more impressive than that. But I know what that took and I know where that's led me. Like, I don't care. Like the, oh, I've spoken in stage for a thousand people. Great. I've had one-on-one conversations with people that they came to me afterwards and were like, hey, I was depressed and going to kill myself. And like this changed things for me. I'm proud of that. Like when I die, that's what I'm going to remember.
1:04:11
That's the important things. But how much money you make and how many people you speak to, it doesn't matter. The impact that you make on people, that's important. You know what I mean? So I'm proud of those moments and I'm proud of who I had to become and the decisions I had to make to get there based on where I started. Now that's life. Just because you mentioned career, I was looking for the copy of the book. I've got it somewhere in this room. I don't know where. The UOU book for ET. That was one of those projects that
1:04:40
I haven't worked that hard since being a competitive gymnast, like since training 30 or 40 hours a week in the gym. That book project, I was one of the co-leads on working on that thing and trying to get it on the New York Times bestseller list. That project gave me gray hair, far too young, but I'm super, super proud of it because it pushed the mess out of it. We put that book on the New York Times bestseller list with a team of four people.
1:05:06
who didn't know what we were doing. Like we did that from the ground and it took everything we had. And it, we, I remember getting that call. It was the day before an event ET was putting on an event in Chicago.
1:05:19
And we were backstage hanging out, you know, trying to get everything set up. And we got the call from the publisher that we had made the list. And just all four of us just freaked out. So I'm super proud of that one. Spoiler alert. It's a really good book. I read it. I didn't. I wouldn't bring it in because I want it to be about you and not Eric. But we will put.
1:05:38
In the show notes, please put the link to the book because it is really good. I read it. I got all the notes for when I get Eric on the podcast so I can drill him.
1:05:50
it felt like he was telling my story. I grew up very similar to him in Michigan, same way. And it's, it's from as you finish, as you read my book, you'll see, they're very similar. He is remarkably positive. So I love it. And I'm really proud of you. And I want to go back to what you said real quick and we're up against it now. Cause I want to highlight what you said, the decisions you made face a fear.
1:06:17
That's everything. That's life. So what are you, what are you really saying? The grind, the, the, the crappy daily work. And you're, I'm going to have you back in person, as I said, and I'm going to end it with this one. Is there something I haven't asked you today that you feel compelled to share? Man, I would say, um,
1:06:45
It's funny. Yes. And I thought you were going to, you were, you were going there with it, with one of your previous questions, but it's a long story that I get emotional when I tell. So, so maybe we, we save it. No, no, no, no. We have all the time in the world. This one, this is one of the times we actually not up against it because it's a special day for you. Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So when, when you asked that question about alcohol and my relationship with that, I thought I, what I thought you were going to ask was that was the moment in your life that it was like that one decision that changed everything. Well, what, what was it for you? You know, that's where I thought you were going to go with it.
1:07:16
And I don't know why I feel compelled to share it because I've never talked about this on a podcast, never talked about it publicly, because there's a lot of decisions that were involved in it that I'm ashamed of. And I, you know, when you get this, when building the personal brand, you know, and that kind of public persona.
1:07:31
There's the things you share and there's the things that you don't share. And realistically, to build that public persona, you have to share the things that you don't want to share. And sometimes that's challenging. So I've never talked about this publicly, but I told the story to somebody just personally on a one on one basis a couple of days ago. And it had an impact there. So I think it's it's important. But what was that moment where everything changed for me? Right. Junior in college.
1:07:59
And I told you that story about how everything was going on. Dad getting diagnosed with cancer. Girlfriend was assaulted, getting cut from the team, et cetera, et cetera. Made the decision to get on the phone with ET. Well, about 30 days prior to that, about a month before all of that happened with the ET part, I had my wrist surgery. And it was your TFCC. It's a small, called your triangular fibrocartilage complex. Little triangular ligament right here on your wrist.
1:08:30
And I had to get it completely reconstructed. It avulsed, meaning instead of snapping in the middle, it tore off from the bone and it took a chunk of the bone with it. So it was nasty, nasty injury. And I had to get that repaired. And that was my senior year. I knew I was going to come back for a fifth year. So I knew I still had a chance to make the team that final year. But realistically, even though I was planning the comeback and I was doing the rehab and I knew I was going to get myself back in shape, I knew for the most part the gymnastics career was pretty much over at that point competitively.
1:09:01
So there was some feelings involved in that, obviously, just with working your whole life towards something. And I built this identity around, I'm getting cut from the team, but I'm going to be the guy that comes back and makes it. I'm going to be the one that comes back and makes it. Because a lot of, I say cut from the team four times in five years, people assume it's like a Rudy situation where I was cut for the first four and I made it the fifth. Actually, I was on it the first year, cut the subsequent four. But I kept coming back, kept coming back, kept coming back.
1:09:27
So when that injury happened, I kind of knew that that was the end of the line for that. And when you build your identity around this comeback story and that it doesn't work out the way that you had hoped it would, that messes with you a little bit. Again, all the while, the girlfriend situation, the cancer, the autonomic disorder, you know, all these other things, my mom. So there was a lot that was going on at that point in my life. And for whatever reason, I just I didn't realize what I was doing in the moment, but I was.
1:09:57
finding very destructive coping mechanisms. I didn't realize that. And for me, it was searching for attention and validation from from from what that was like, that was the thing that was, for whatever reason, make me feel better. And so my mom, she No, my mom wasn't there. It was it was this other girl that I was seeing, I was still dating somebody. And then I flew in another girl. And she did on my girlfriend with her. She left. My mom flew. She left that morning. My mom flew in
1:10:27
And my mom was there for the surgery, right? Do the surgery. My mom flies out. While she had been staying with me, she gave me a Bible. And I was never a spiritual person. Never. Like I talk a lot about it now. I was, and keep in mind, this is only like five years ago. It's only like four years ago. I was never a spiritual person. And she handed me this Bible. And I didn't look at it. I didn't read it. I didn't touch it. I just left it on there. I was like, all right, yeah, whatever. I left it on the desk.
1:10:58
My mom leaves after the surgery. She flies out. And I'm sitting there with all this stuff going on, having just, you know, made a dumb decision that was hurting people with the cheating, with being cut from the team, knowing that my career was pretty much over athletically. Not a whole lot of direction for my life. Didn't know what I wanted to do after college. All the stuff going on back home with the health issues, financial issues still going on back home while this is all happening, by the way. And my mom gives me this Bible. And I'm just like, man, if God knows me, he don't like me.
1:11:28
He don't really care for me. And he asked if I drink. Not a lot. That night, I got drunk that night. And for whatever reason, it was like 1 o'clock in the morning. I was alone this entire time, just sitting on the floor of my bedroom, my apartment in Ann Arbor. And I opened that Bible, and on the front cover was a handwritten note from my mom. And people that know me know that I would fight an army for my mom. That's my person, you know.
1:11:57
And I opened the front cover of that Bible. And she says, one day I'm going to leave you alone in this world. And this is what I want you to have. If I can give you anything, it's the wisdom that's in this book. And I just broke. And I spent the next hour just crying on the floor of that apartment. And I prayed for the first time.
1:12:24
You know, because I had grown up praying, thinking it's just the thing that you're supposed to do. But I never prayed as if somebody was listening. And that night, drunk on the floor of my apartment, having just cheated on somebody, having just found out my dad has cancer for the second time, having just gotten out of a surgery that I knew it ended my athletic career. I prayed and I meant it. And I told God that if he could get me out of this, I would give him the credit for it forever.
1:12:54
And 30 days later, I met Eric Thomas. And that was the moment for me that everything changed. And I'm not a Bible thumper. I'm not one of these, you know, people trying to convert anybody. But...
1:13:08
I do think the reason I tell that story is because I think it's really important to at least open your heart to something, whatever you think it is. If it's the universe, if it's the collective unconscious, if it is your highest self, if whatever that energy is, if it's just love itself, right? Open your heart to that and mean it and genuinely want it to come into your life and make things better.
1:13:37
and trust it when things start to happen. I think it's the fastest way to change your life. It's faster than all the hard work. It's faster than every day means every day. It's faster than making decisions when you're scared. It's faster than all of that. Is genuinely opening up your heart for something better and expecting it to come and being serious about it. It'll change everything. So that was my one moment. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing that. The Bible was,
1:14:05
impactful because of this, the, the, the note that your mom wrote in there. But I think what I'm going to paraphrase that and I'm just say surrender to whatever it is. Surrender. There's, there's, there's something, there's some energy out there, whether you believe it's God's source, energy, Jesus, whatever, um, surrender.
1:14:24
And let goodness into your heart. And I love that about you. That was, I'm lost for words. We're up against it. I love you. That was amazing. Thank you so much. Please rate and share this podcast. Also, I do my best to respond to the comments on all social platforms. So if you want to see more of something or less of something, leave a comment. Definitely talk about that story.
1:14:48
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