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Andy Stanley - Give Thanks An Attitude of Gratitude · Andy Stanley Sermons

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Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, Welcome back and happy Thanksgiving A few days early, right, hey,
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Speaker 1: I hope you'll have an opportunity to celebrate with friends
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Speaker 1: and family this week. For several years, for several years,
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Speaker 1: a friend of mine and I would get up really
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Speaker 1: really early on Thanksgiving morning and participate in the Atlanta
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Speaker 1: Half Marathon. I know a lot of you have probably
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Speaker 1: participated in that. I've noticed. I didn't say we ran
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Speaker 1: the Atlanta Half Marathon. Some years we ran, but sometimes
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Speaker 1: we just participated. But the great thing about starting off
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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving with a really long run is guiltless eating all
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Speaker 1: day long.
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Speaker 2: Now.
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Speaker 1: Honestly, that was several years ago. These days, it's just
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Speaker 1: guiltless eating all day long now. If you know anything
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Speaker 1: about the history of Thanksgiving, you know that it began
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Speaker 1: as a really small community's response, then a colonial response,
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Speaker 1: and ultimately eventually our nation's response to divine provision and
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Speaker 1: divine protection. Because gratitude or feeling thankful is actually a
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Speaker 1: universal expers I mean, when good things happen, or when
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Speaker 1: we're on the backside of a rough stretch, there's something
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Speaker 1: just intuitive, instinctive in all of us. There's just this
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Speaker 1: automatic feeling of gratitude. For some folks, that's thank goodness.
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Speaker 2: Uh.
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Speaker 1: For others of us, it's literally thank God, but thank
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Speaker 1: somebody or thanks something. Right, we're just all instinctively thankful,
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Speaker 1: though we may express it in different ways. It's it's
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Speaker 1: almost like we can't help it. Now, I say, it's
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Speaker 1: almost like we can't help it, because when it comes
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Speaker 1: to expressing our gratitude gratitude to each other, it's not
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Speaker 1: always so intuitive, right, it's not always so fluid, it's
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Speaker 1: not always so instinctive. Not only can we help it,
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Speaker 1: oftentimes we.
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Speaker 2: Do help it. We withhold our gratitude.
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Speaker 1: And when you withhold gratitude, when I withhold gratitude, we
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Speaker 1: actually create a gap in the relationship, an unfilled space.
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Speaker 1: There's unfinished business, which creates a glitch in the relationship,
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Speaker 1: and if it goes on for too long, it actually
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Speaker 1: undermines the integrity of the relationship. Or to put it bluntly,
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Speaker 1: few things sting in this true, few things sting more
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Speaker 1: than in gratitude. And here's why, Because ingratitude communicates I
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Speaker 1: don't see you, I don't even see you. I don't
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Speaker 1: recognize you, I don't recognize what you've done. I don't
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Speaker 1: recognize your effort. I don't recognize your sacrifice. Ingratitude communicates
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Speaker 1: you know what you owed me that, So why would
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Speaker 1: I thank you for that? Ingratitude stings because it isn't neutral.
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Speaker 1: It's the opposite of what was expected or earned or
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Speaker 1: perhaps even deserved. So it hurts, which is odd because
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Speaker 1: the other person really didn't do anything to us.
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Speaker 2: They just didn't do anything.
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Speaker 1: You thought they would hit the tennis ball back, but
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Speaker 1: they just stood there and let it bounce against the
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Speaker 1: fence behind them. So there are few things more hurtful
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Speaker 1: than in gratitude. But at the same time, but at
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Speaker 1: the same time, in this true there are few things
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Speaker 1: more uncomfortable than pointing out someone's ingratitude, right, I mean
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Speaker 1: it feels kind of childish, like, hey, what about a
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Speaker 1: thank you every once in a while, or hey, you
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Speaker 1: didn't say thank you, or you never show me any appreciation.
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Speaker 1: I mean, who wants to say that? To say that
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Speaker 1: makes us feel small and insecure, not to mention, you know,
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Speaker 1: when you say that, the other person says, wait a minute,
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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. But what we hear is I'm so sorry,
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Speaker 1: little baby who needs constant reassurance and affirmation right, So
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Speaker 1: even asking about or bringing up the subject of ingratitude
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Speaker 1: is so uncomfortable. Ingratitude is a strange thing because well,
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Speaker 1: it's not even a thing.
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Speaker 2: It's more a lack of a thing.
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Speaker 1: But it doesn't always come packaged in silence or a
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Speaker 1: lack of response. Sometimes ingratitude is actually expressed verbally.
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Speaker 2: You've been in this situation.
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Speaker 1: You do something for somebody else and instead of saying
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Speaker 1: thank you, they explain that, well, you didn't do it right,
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Speaker 1: or you chose the wrong color. But mostly, in most cases,
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Speaker 1: ingratitude is an absence of words, an absence of recognition
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Speaker 1: of something that we've done that come on that deserves recognition.
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Speaker 2: The other odd thing.
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Speaker 1: About ingratitude is this it looms large when we're the victim.
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Speaker 1: I mean, it's all we can see when somebody has
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Speaker 1: been ungrateful. We can't possibly miss it, but it's completely
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Speaker 1: invisible to the perpetrator. I mean, think about it, when
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Speaker 1: we create a gap through our ingratitude, it's all the
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Speaker 1: other person can see, but we can't see.
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Speaker 2: It at all.
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Speaker 1: We're clueless, which is obvious to the other party, which
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Speaker 1: in the moment makes the pain that much worse. Or
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Speaker 1: to put it simply, the recipient. The recipient is always aware, right,
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Speaker 1: but the culprit is rarely aware. It's so odd now
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Speaker 1: for me, I have to be really careful because outside
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Speaker 1: my family, it's easy for me to just write off
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Speaker 1: ungrateful people. And I hate to say that, but it's true.
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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm kind of I can be a one
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Speaker 1: and done person. Gratitude goes a long way with me,
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Speaker 1: and ingratitude it goes a long way with me as well.
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Speaker 1: There are people, honestly that I would have a difficult
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Speaker 1: time extending generosity with my time, or my influence or
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Speaker 1: my resources because of how they didn't respond last time
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Speaker 1: I was generous to them with my time, influence, or
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Speaker 1: my resources. And that's something I've got a monitor because
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Speaker 1: as a Jesus follower, I'm required to be generous regardless
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Speaker 1: of how people respond. But come on, it's a whole
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Speaker 1: lot easier to extend generosity to grateful people. And my
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Speaker 1: reason for bringing this up, and my reason for bringing
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Speaker 1: me up, is this, you're in gratitude. Your ingratitude, which
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Speaker 1: you might not even be aware of. Your accidental ingratitude
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Speaker 1: is leaving a mark. It's undermining your respectability, and you
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Speaker 1: don't know it. I mean, the ungrateful people I struggle
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Speaker 1: not to write off have no idea. The people who've
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Speaker 1: written you off because of your ingratitude, you have no idea.
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Speaker 1: And if you're not family, they're not gonna tell you.
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Speaker 1: They just move on. And the uncomfortable thing about me
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Speaker 1: even talking about this is I'm sure there are people
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Speaker 1: watching or listening who have experienced a lack of gratitude
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Speaker 1: for me. And you know, here's the point, I don't
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Speaker 1: know who they are. I'm clueless, and I'm kind of
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Speaker 1: glad no one's here to say amen. Now, many years ago,
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Speaker 1: when I was starting off on my quest to become
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Speaker 1: a good organizational leader, I had the opportunity to meet
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Speaker 1: with a pretty high profile business person for lunch in
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Speaker 1: the Atlanta area.
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Speaker 2: It was a friend of my dad's. That's how I
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Speaker 2: got the lunch.
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Speaker 1: I was in my late twenties, and I only remember
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Speaker 1: one thing about our conversation, and it was not what
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Speaker 1: this gentleman intended for me to remember. In fact, I
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Speaker 1: bet he doesn't even remember saying this. But as you know,
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Speaker 1: negatives are generally stickier than positives. I knew he had
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Speaker 1: a meeting in his office right after our lunch, and
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Speaker 1: we were going a little long, so I interrupted him
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Speaker 1: and I said, hey, hey, I know you've got a
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Speaker 1: meeting to get to. And then he interrupted me, and
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Speaker 1: here's what he said, and I'll ever forget it. He said,
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Speaker 1: no problem, no problem. They all work for me, no problem.
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Speaker 1: I don't need to rush back. They all work for me.
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Speaker 1: This is my only takeaway from that lunch. This was
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Speaker 1: so offensive to me, and I didn't even know any
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Speaker 1: of the other people, but when he said it, I
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Speaker 1: made a decision. I will never take the people who
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Speaker 1: work with me or for me for granted. In fact,
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Speaker 1: I refuse to use the phrase my people or our
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Speaker 1: people when referring to people that I work with.
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Speaker 2: I don't have any people.
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Speaker 1: No one deserves to be talked about or treated like
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Speaker 1: there's somebody's people. And I'm sure he didn't mean it
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Speaker 1: that way, perhaps, but it made an impression. It struck
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Speaker 1: me as extremely ungrateful because he was what he was
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Speaker 1: taking them for granted. They'll wait, they've got nothing better
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Speaker 1: to do. They owe me. I don't owe them. Have
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Speaker 1: you ever felt taken for granted? It's terrible, isn't it.
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Speaker 1: It's dehumanizing. It's one of the worst things you can
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Speaker 1: experience on planet Earth.
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Speaker 2: Now moving on, if you've ever been accused, think about this.
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Speaker 1: If you've ever been accused, and we all have, If
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Speaker 1: you've ever been accused of being ungrateful, if you're like
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Speaker 1: most people, you probably got defensive. And the reason you
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Speaker 1: got defensive is because you felt like somebody was accusing you.
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Speaker 2: Of not feeling something. Isn't that true?
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Speaker 1: Somebody says, I don't feel like you're grateful. I think
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Speaker 1: you take me for granted, and we immediately get defensive
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Speaker 1: and we're like, oh no, and we feel like they're
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Speaker 1: judging us, and we get defensive because we think, hey,
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Speaker 1: how could you possibly know how I feel, which, of
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Speaker 1: course is the point.
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Speaker 2: They don't know how we feel. They know how they feel.
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Speaker 1: They feel unappreciated, they feel taken for granted, but we
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Speaker 1: feel otherwise. So we push back and we get defensive
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Speaker 1: and we say things like this, but I am grateful translated,
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Speaker 1: I am grateful on the inside. I have grateful thoughts
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Speaker 1: and feelings towards you, which, while it's true, it's meaningless,
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Speaker 1: isn't it. Because and this is the point of today's
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Speaker 1: discussion unexpressed gratitude.
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Speaker 2: Think about it.
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Speaker 1: Unexpressed gratitude is actually experienced by the other person as
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Speaker 1: in gratitude. Unexpressed gratitude is experienced by the other person
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Speaker 1: as the opposite of what we convince ourself we really
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Speaker 1: feel and we really think. Through the years, I've met
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Speaker 1: with lots of men in particular who are super busy
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Speaker 1: and find themselves a little bit alienated from their families
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Speaker 1: and their children.
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Speaker 2: And here's the advice I always give them.
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Speaker 1: I say, look, you love your kids in your heart,
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Speaker 1: but you don't love your kids on your calendar. And
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Speaker 1: the calendar is what counts. The calendar is what connects.
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Speaker 1: The calendar is what communicates what you feel. And the
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Speaker 1: same goes for gratitude. It's the expression of gratitude. It's
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Speaker 1: the expression of gratitude, not the emotion that completes the circle,
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Speaker 1: that closes the.
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Speaker 2: Gap, that maintains the connection.
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Speaker 1: Or to put it another way, gratitude and ingratitude are
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Speaker 1: relationally determinative.
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Speaker 2: This is so important.
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Speaker 1: Gratitude and ingratitude actually determine how much of you you're
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Speaker 1: willing to entrust to someone else, and it determines how
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Speaker 1: much he or she.
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Speaker 2: Is willing to entrust to you.
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Speaker 1: Because when you feel taken for granted, when we feel
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Speaker 1: taken for granted, we instinctively it's not a decision, We
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Speaker 1: instinctively withhold part of ourselves in order not to be
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Speaker 1: hurt again. Gratitude and ingratitude are relationally determinative. They determine
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Speaker 1: something about the relationship. Or think about it this way.
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Speaker 1: Our hearts, and you've experienced this, our hearts actually gravitate
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Speaker 1: toward recognition and gratitude.
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Speaker 2: It's not a decision, it's a response.
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Speaker 1: If you're married, or if you're in what you hope
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Speaker 1: to become a permanent relationship.
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Speaker 2: Here's a tip. Here's the tip. This is so important.
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Speaker 2: Don't let anyone, don't let anyone out grateful you.
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Speaker 1: What I mean by that is be the most grateful
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Speaker 1: person in your loved one's life. Because our hearts, their
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Speaker 1: hearts gravitate toward recognition and gratitude. Now, if you're a
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Speaker 1: middle schooler or high schoolers still live in a home,
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Speaker 1: I want to tell you something, but I don't want
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Speaker 1: you to tell your parents that I told you this.
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Speaker 2: If you would like to get your mom and dad
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Speaker 2: to be more yes than no.
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Speaker 1: When you ask for things, I mean, when you want
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Speaker 1: more freedom, if you want more, yes and no.
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Speaker 2: Be grateful for everything out loud.
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Speaker 1: And here's why your parents and parents in general are
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Speaker 1: so accustomed to being taken for granted. If you're the
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Speaker 1: typical middle schooler or high school student. And I know
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Speaker 1: you don't think you're typical, but if you are, here's
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Speaker 1: how you might think. Well, of course I have a room,
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Speaker 1: and of course I have cool clothes, and of course
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Speaker 1: I have more food than I should eat, and of
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Speaker 1: course I get a ride to school. That's what they're
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Speaker 1: supposed to do. They're my parents. But middle schoolers and
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Speaker 1: high schoolers don't be typical. I'm telling you, turn up
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Speaker 1: the gratitude.
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Speaker 2: Here's why.
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Speaker 1: First of all, your parents deserve it. But second, it
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Speaker 1: will melt their hearts. It will melt their hearts because
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Speaker 1: gratitude is the language of the heart. Besides, they don't
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Speaker 1: actually owe you anything. Here's a life lesson for you.
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Speaker 1: At the end of the day, everybody, everybody is a volunteer,
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Speaker 1: even your parents. So be ridiculously grateful. Now, there's a
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Speaker 1: famous narrative from the Life of Jesus, and we talked
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Speaker 1: about this about five years ago if you were around then.
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Speaker 1: And every time I read this narrative, honestly, it kind
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Speaker 1: of feels like the gratitude bar gets raised.
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Speaker 2: A little bit.
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Speaker 1: I immediately think about the people I'm grateful for in
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Speaker 1: my heart that haven't heard it from my lips or
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Speaker 1: my pen. Now, Luke, who thoroughly investigated everything in the
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Speaker 1: life of Jesus, begins this narrative like this. He says, Now,
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Speaker 1: Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem, and he traveled
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Speaker 1: along the border between Samaria and Galilee. And if we
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Speaker 1: had a map, I always show you this area. This
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Speaker 1: is a very remote area, sparsely populated.
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Speaker 2: It's kind of in the middle of nowhere.
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Speaker 1: And as he was going to Texas, and as he
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Speaker 1: was going into a village, ten men who had lepers
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Speaker 1: met him. People with leprosy, they basically hovered between life
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Speaker 1: and death. They weren't dead, but they couldn't really live.
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Speaker 1: And worse than that, imagine they stood at a distance
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Speaker 1: and they watched everybody else live their lives. As you know,
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Speaker 1: in ancient times, leprosy was considered highly contagious. People afflicted
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Speaker 1: with leprosy don't experience pain, the way the rest of
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Speaker 1: us do. And in a culture, this is the part
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Speaker 1: we can't really understand. Sometimes, in a culture that required
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Speaker 1: physical labor just to survive, this often resulted in injuries
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Speaker 1: that either went unnoticed or unattended to, so their bodies
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Speaker 1: would visibly deteriorate over time.
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Speaker 2: And the law.
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Speaker 1: The law actually required somebody who had leprosy to live
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Speaker 1: on the outskirts of town in a designated area, and
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Speaker 1: anytime they came toward town or came towards civilization, they
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Speaker 1: had to warn people that they were approaching. Consequently, lepers
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Speaker 1: often created their own communities, They grew their own crops,
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Speaker 1: and they survived the best that they could, and it
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Speaker 1: would come theres no surprise to Luke's first century readers
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Speaker 1: that a community of Lepers were kind of eking out
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Speaker 1: a living in this remote borderland between the predominantly Jewish
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Speaker 1: territory of Galilee and the area inhabited mostly by Samaritans.
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Speaker 1: Now this has nothing to do with the story, but
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Speaker 1: I think it's worth pointing out.
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Speaker 2: At the end of this account.
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Speaker 1: We discovered that this particular community of Lepers was comprised
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Speaker 1: of both Jews and Samaritans, two groups who normally would
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Speaker 1: have nothing to do with each other for both political
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Speaker 1: and religious reasons. But here's the thing, pain suffering and alienation.
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Speaker 1: Pain suffering and alienation have a way of minimizing differences
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Speaker 1: and maximizing what people have in common. When people need
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Speaker 1: each other politics and religion, they are just not front
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Speaker 1: burner issues.
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Speaker 2: Just to thought anyway, Luke continues, He goes on.
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Speaker 1: He says this, these lepers, the ten Lepers, they stood
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Speaker 1: at a distance with their faces covered because they had
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Speaker 1: to cover their faces, which sounds familiar, right, They stood
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Speaker 1: at a distance with their faces covered, and they called
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Speaker 1: out in a loud voice from a distance.
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Speaker 2: Jesus, Master, have pity on us.
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Speaker 1: I mean, they're basically out in the middle of nowhere.
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Speaker 1: He's in this little tiny village. They have apparently come
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Speaker 1: into the edge of the village to get supplies. They
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Speaker 1: recognize it's Jesus, they knew him by his reputation, and
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Speaker 1: they call out Master, which was really unusual because this
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Speaker 1: was a term pretty much reserved for those who were
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Speaker 1: continuous followers of Jesus his disciples, and clearly they were not.
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Speaker 1: But desperate times call for desperate measures, and if he
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Speaker 1: could do what people said he could do. He was
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Speaker 1: their only hope, and the text says Luke says that
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Speaker 1: when Jesus saw them. When Jesus saw them, he shouted out.
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Speaker 1: He shouted back to them, go go, which was not
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Speaker 1: really what.
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Speaker 2: They were expecting. I mean, that's what they'd heard for years.
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Speaker 2: Go is in go away. But here's what Jesus said.
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Speaker 1: Jesus said, go and show yourselves to the priests, which
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Speaker 1: they must have f go and show them what there's
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Speaker 1: nothing to show. And besides, the priest aren't all that
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Speaker 1: anxious to see us. In fact, nobody is. But Jesus
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Speaker 1: had a triple intent here. According to the law, anyone
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Speaker 1: with any kind of skin disease, after being quarantined had
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Speaker 1: to go to a local priest to be given the
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Speaker 1: all clear before they could go back into society. The
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Speaker 1: implication was by the time you get there. When Jesus
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Speaker 1: said go, the implication was Jesus was saying, by the
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Speaker 1: time you get there, When you go, when you see
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Speaker 1: the priest, you're gonna get the all clear. But there
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Speaker 1: was even more to it than that. Imagine this when
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Speaker 1: ten healed lepers. When ten healed lepers show up, the
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Speaker 1: priest would certainly ask how all ten of them were healed,
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Speaker 1: and that would be an unprecedented event, and it would
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Speaker 1: clearly be a miracle, which again would add to Jesus' reputation.
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Speaker 1: It would be impossible to argue that something extraordinary hadn't happened.
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Speaker 2: And here's the third thing.
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Speaker 1: Their willingness to go before anything had changed would certainly
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Speaker 1: be an expression of extraordinary faith in Jesus. And if
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Speaker 1: nothing changed on the way, it would make fools of
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Speaker 1: the lepers. So there was a lot at stake, and
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Speaker 1: there was a lot behind this request to go. So
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Speaker 1: if you're in their situation, what do you do in
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Speaker 1: a situation like that? It reminds me of the advice
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Speaker 1: that my great grandfather gave my father when my father
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Speaker 1: was a teenager. He said this, He said, grandson, if
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Speaker 1: God tells you to run your head through a brick wall,
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Speaker 1: start running and.
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Speaker 2: Trust God to make a whole.
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Speaker 1: So Jesus said go, and they went, and not because
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Speaker 1: it made any sense, but.
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Speaker 2: Because Jesus told them to go. And you probably remember
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Speaker 2: what happened next.
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Speaker 1: And as they went, as they obeyed, as they went,
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Speaker 1: they were cleansed. They literally walked by faith This is
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Speaker 1: a phrase we throw around a lot in the Church
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Speaker 1: and in Christianity, to walk by faith. This is literally
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Speaker 1: what it means to walk by faith. They responded to
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Speaker 1: the promise in the prompting of Jesus before they knew
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Speaker 1: the outcome. That's what it means to walk by faith.
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Speaker 1: But then the twist in the story and the reason
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Speaker 1: we're even talking about this, one of them, one of
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Speaker 1: these lepers, when he saw he was healed, he turned around,
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Speaker 1: and he came back. He turned around, he returned, He
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Speaker 1: completed the loop. He filled the gap. He came back
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Speaker 1: to text says, praising God in a loud voice, and
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Speaker 1: he literally threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him.
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Speaker 1: No more social distancing. He walked right up to Jesus
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Speaker 1: and fell at his feet. He was not content. He
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Speaker 1: was not content to feel grateful. He demonstrated it, he
18:38
Speaker 1: expressed it, and think about it. As much as he
18:40
Speaker 1: was ready to get back to living among the living,
18:42
Speaker 1: as much as he wanted to put all.
18:44
Speaker 2: Of this behind him, he knew he had to close
18:47
Speaker 2: the gratitude loop.
18:48
Speaker 1: After all, Jesus had just given him his life back.
18:52
Speaker 1: So he did what we all need to do. He
18:55
Speaker 1: went back, He went back to think the one who
18:57
Speaker 1: had enabled him to move forward. He went back to
19:01
Speaker 1: thank the one who enabled him to move forward with
19:04
Speaker 1: his life.
19:05
Speaker 2: And Luke, looking back.
19:07
Speaker 1: Over the story arc of jesus life, I think he
19:10
Speaker 1: must have smiled when he penned these next four words
19:12
Speaker 1: in Greek, five words in English.
19:15
Speaker 2: And he talking about the leper.
19:17
Speaker 1: And he was a Samaritan, the implication being the other
19:23
Speaker 1: nine probably weren't this man. This man had experienced alienation
19:27
Speaker 1: and discrimination on multiple levels.
19:30
Speaker 2: He was extra grateful. And I think the.
19:32
Speaker 1: Reason for this added seemingly unimportant detail comes to light
19:36
Speaker 1: when you read the entirety of Luke's gospel, because over
19:39
Speaker 1: and over in his gospel, Luke highlights jesus encounters with outsiders,
19:43
Speaker 1: people that his first century audience would never expect Jesus
19:47
Speaker 1: to have anything to do with, and over and over
19:49
Speaker 1: it was the outsiders who expressed the most gratitude.
19:54
Speaker 2: They were not confused about how undeserving they were.
19:56
Speaker 1: Their pride and their busyness did not get in the
19:59
Speaker 1: way of their effort to close the gratitude loop, especially
20:03
Speaker 1: with Jesus. But this incident doesn't end there. Jesus asked
20:08
Speaker 1: a question. He said, we're not all ten cleansed. Where
20:13
Speaker 1: are the other nine?
20:15
Speaker 2: Now?
20:15
Speaker 1: In the Greek text, it's interesting because the interrogative where
20:19
Speaker 1: is actually at the end of the sentence for emphasis.
20:21
Speaker 1: Here's how it reads in the Greek, literally the nine
20:25
Speaker 1: where the nine?
20:27
Speaker 2: Where are they?
20:28
Speaker 1: And of course Jesus isn't really expecting an answer, He's
20:31
Speaker 1: just making a stinging observation. Something is missing, someone is missing.
20:37
Speaker 1: Some ones are missing. The other nine have missed the moment.
20:41
Speaker 1: The other nine have missed their opportunity. Something was missing, incomplete, unfinished,
20:49
Speaker 1: open ended. The circle isn't closed, but now the window
20:53
Speaker 1: to close it has closed. Now, if you're a parent,
20:56
Speaker 1: you understand what Jesus is getting at here. And for
20:59
Speaker 1: those of us who can remember how our parents raised us,
21:01
Speaker 1: we understand what Jesus is getting at too. When you
21:04
Speaker 1: were a kid and somebody gave you a gift and
21:06
Speaker 1: one of your parents was standing there, they would immediately
21:09
Speaker 1: say what they would say, say thank you, as in
21:13
Speaker 1: right now, say thank you. There was urgency like quick,
21:16
Speaker 1: say thank you right now. Time is running out. Close
21:19
Speaker 1: the circle, connect the dots, and this is Jesus's point.
21:23
Speaker 1: The other nine missed the moment, and the moment had passed.
21:28
Speaker 1: How ungrateful their entire destiny been changed apart from Jesus,
21:33
Speaker 1: apart from his intervention, They're going to spend the rest
21:35
Speaker 1: of their lives eking out a living in the middle
21:37
Speaker 1: of nowhere. They'd been restored to their families and their children.
21:40
Speaker 1: They could work again, they could worship again.
21:43
Speaker 2: And where are they?
21:45
Speaker 1: And when we read this story, isn't it true? We
21:47
Speaker 1: respond the same way Jesus did. Yeah, yeah, where are
21:49
Speaker 1: those guys?
21:51
Speaker 2: But before we judge too harshly, I imagine, I imagine if
21:56
Speaker 2: someone had confronted the other nine about their apparent lack
21:59
Speaker 2: of ingratitude, their apparent lack of gratitude, I should say,
22:02
Speaker 2: I imagine that they would have been quick to respond with, like, what,
22:05
Speaker 2: We're not ungrateful, We are so grateful.
22:08
Speaker 1: Our hearts are filled with gratitude. I mean, the other
22:12
Speaker 1: nine had to have felt it, right. The problem is,
22:16
Speaker 1: like us, sometimes they didn't express it. And Jesus, like us,
22:23
Speaker 1: was baffled. And the ask, has no one returned? Has
22:27
Speaker 1: no one returned to give praise to God? Except this foreigner?
22:32
Speaker 1: Only one returner? And again the question is a rebuke,
22:36
Speaker 1: and it also implies that the other lepers may have
22:39
Speaker 1: been Galileans like Jesus rather than Samaritans. Then he turns
22:43
Speaker 1: back to the one who returned, and he says, once again,
22:46
Speaker 1: rise and go. And of course this is the second
22:49
Speaker 1: time he's told him to go, but this time there
22:52
Speaker 1: would be no reason for him to return. The circle
22:55
Speaker 1: was complete. And then this final statement, your faith has
22:59
Speaker 1: made you well. So as we wrap up, I want
23:03
Speaker 1: to make three quick observations to carry with us throughout
23:06
Speaker 1: this next week. The first one we've already touched on
23:09
Speaker 1: that unexpressed gratitude. Unexpressed gratitude communicates in gratitude, there is
23:14
Speaker 1: no neutral ground, and our feelings don't count because our
23:20
Speaker 1: feelings don't connect. Our feelings of gratitude don't close the loop. Worse, worse,
23:27
Speaker 1: the gratitude we feel.
23:28
Speaker 2: Think about this.
23:29
Speaker 1: The gratitude we feel but don't express, is felt by
23:31
Speaker 1: the other person as the opposite of what we're feeling.
23:35
Speaker 1: We feel grateful, they feel unappreciated, taken for granted. And
23:40
Speaker 1: this is important. Telling other people how grateful we are
23:44
Speaker 1: for someone else doesn't count either, even if that person
23:48
Speaker 1: over heres here's us, and here's here's why.
23:49
Speaker 2: I say that.
23:50
Speaker 1: And if you're married, you know there's a tendency to
23:53
Speaker 1: do this sometimes right, bragging on your spouse to other
23:57
Speaker 1: people in front of your spouse, but never brag on
24:00
Speaker 1: your spouse to him or to her privately. Never expressing
24:03
Speaker 1: gratitude directly to them does not close the loop. In fact,
24:07
Speaker 1: in some cases, in some instances, expressing gratitude to other
24:10
Speaker 1: people about something rather than to that person can actually
24:14
Speaker 1: be insulting. Second thing is this, ingratitude feels like rejection.
24:21
Speaker 1: Ingratitude feels like rejection. Over time, unexpressed gratitude has the
24:26
Speaker 1: same effect on people in a relationship as rejection. It
24:29
Speaker 1: creates a gap. Again, our hearts gravitate toward acceptance. Real
24:34
Speaker 1: or imagined appreciation feels like acceptance. So, if you want
24:37
Speaker 1: the heart of your child, or your spouse, or an
24:40
Speaker 1: employee or associates, if you want their heart, express gratitude.
24:44
Speaker 1: You want to be surrounded by people who just do
24:47
Speaker 1: what they have to do to get by withhold it.
24:49
Speaker 1: Take them for granted. They get a paycheck, it's my husband,
24:53
Speaker 1: now she's my wife. I mean, this is what they
24:55
Speaker 1: signed up for. This is what they're supposed to do.
24:57
Speaker 1: You may keep their hands, but you will never have
25:01
Speaker 1: their hearts. They may stick around, but the relationship will
25:04
Speaker 1: eventually be void of intimacy. Last observation is this unexpressed gratitude.
25:11
Speaker 1: Unexpressed gratitude may indicate an inflated view of self. And
25:16
Speaker 1: here's why I say that. The message of ingratitude is this,
25:20
Speaker 1: I could have done this without you, so I don't
25:22
Speaker 1: really owe you anything. Isn't it true that arrogance and
25:26
Speaker 1: ingratitude are generally found under the same rock. I mean,
25:29
Speaker 1: arrogant people are generally ungrateful people, and ungrateful people usually
25:33
Speaker 1: come across as arrogant. So I want you to be
25:37
Speaker 1: really honest for just a moment. Is expressing your gratitude
25:41
Speaker 1: difficult for you? Is expressing gratitude difficult for you? Are
25:47
Speaker 1: you more comfortable pointing out how something could have been
25:49
Speaker 1: better rather than recognizing.
25:52
Speaker 2: How good it actually is?
25:54
Speaker 1: If so, have you ever done any work digging around
25:57
Speaker 1: trying to figure out why you're kind of wired that way?
26:01
Speaker 2: If not, I'll give you a starting point. Here's a hint. Gratitude.
26:06
Speaker 1: Gratitude feels like an admission of weakness. I mean, it
26:11
Speaker 1: makes you feel like you may not have been able
26:14
Speaker 1: to accomplish what you've accomplished without help. Guess what you
26:19
Speaker 1: couldn't in the wake of your progress, in the wake
26:23
Speaker 1: of your success in your rear view mirror, professionally, academically, financially, relationally, athletically,
26:31
Speaker 1: are dozens of people who facilitated your progress. Who facilitated
26:35
Speaker 1: your success, and acknowledging their role is not weakness, it's maturity.
26:41
Speaker 1: It's evidence you've let go of an inflated, unhealthy sense
26:46
Speaker 1: of independence. Gratitude is evidence that you have life improper perspective.
26:52
Speaker 1: You would not be where you are without the support
26:55
Speaker 1: and the help of other people. You do actually owe
26:58
Speaker 1: them a debt of great and that's okay. So back
27:04
Speaker 1: to Luke's account for just a moment. Let's be the one.
27:09
Speaker 1: Let's be the one rather than the nine. Let's decide,
27:12
Speaker 1: let's make up our mind to be like the one
27:13
Speaker 1: who went back to thank the one who enabled him
27:17
Speaker 1: to move forward. Why not make it the habit of
27:20
Speaker 1: our lives to go back to the people who've allowed
27:22
Speaker 1: us to move forward. So here's a question, who helped
27:26
Speaker 1: you move forward? Who helps you move forward? Have you
27:30
Speaker 1: thanked them recently. I mean, sure you pay them. I'm
27:34
Speaker 1: sure they married you. I'm sure it's your mom right.
27:37
Speaker 1: But have you expressed your gratitude lately? You may feel
27:41
Speaker 1: it when you think about it, but have you expressed it?
27:44
Speaker 1: And if not, why not? Could it be you are
27:48
Speaker 1: in fact more like the nine than the one that
27:52
Speaker 1: you took what was given. You got distracted by the
27:54
Speaker 1: new opportunity, the new freedom, the new recognition, and then
27:58
Speaker 1: you just went on your marry way without circling back
28:01
Speaker 1: to say thank you. I mean, if somebody told your story,
28:04
Speaker 1: or when somebody tells your story, will you be the
28:06
Speaker 1: story of the one or the story of the nine?
28:09
Speaker 2: And here's some good news.
28:11
Speaker 1: You get to decide, But you decide that story one
28:15
Speaker 1: expression of gratitude at a time, gratitude that we feel
28:19
Speaker 1: but don't express, is simply ingratitude by another name. So
28:23
Speaker 1: let's close the loop, right, Let's get in the habit
28:26
Speaker 1: of circling back.
28:27
Speaker 2: Let's be returners. Let's decide today to be the one