Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep264. Belief, Clarity & Your Nervous System: The 3 Keys to Creating the Life You Actually Want.

Transcript

Ep264. Belief, Clarity & Your Nervous System: The 3 Keys to Creating the Life You Actually Want. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ever wake up feeling like there's something missing in your life?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ever feel the need to escape your business?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Are you running your life or is your life running you?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Mike Kitko and I'll help you design and create a life so authentic and aligned with who you really are, you'll get excited just to wake up.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'll help you create real wealth, success, and freedom from the inside out.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I am out on a walk.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: And as far as I can remember, I've never recorded a podcast episode where I was just walking.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And this is one of my favorite things to do.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Walking and creating, walking and doing videos, creating content.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I guess some of my best inspiration, especially when I'm on a run.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I like turning on the record button and just going.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I've never done it for a podcast episode.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So here we go.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome to my walk.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to tell you a little bit about today.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I live in uh just outside of St.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Louis, Missouri, and it is 70 some degrees with low humidity today.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: It is a glorious morning, unusually glorious because just a couple days ago the heat index was over 100, humidity was 80, 90 percent, and it was like 96, 97 degrees, and it was crazy when you walked outside.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: You got hit with a uh just a blanket of heat and and humidity.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: But today is glorious, so it inspired a walk.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I've gotten some really powerful clarity this morning, and I'm excited to share it with you.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna talk a little bit more about clarity later in this episode, but what I want to share is the energy in my body right now is off the freaking charts.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I could run through a wall, I feel like I've got so much energy inside of me, it's gotta find its way out.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And part of that is for me is exercise or and or creating.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Clarity is a uh it's an energizing force.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: More about that later.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I get the benefit of I've had hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands, students, over a thousand students in my workshops, in speaking engagements, in my mastermind, private clients.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I get to see a lot of people succeed, and I get to see a lot of people who are winning, but I also I also get to see people that started work with me in one way, shape, or form, or listen to me speak that are living the exact same life that they wanted to level up in or upgrade.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I get to watch the contrast between those two, and it teaches me a lot.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: It teaches me a lot about what allows or empowers or helps a human being level up and upgrade their life.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: What things most powerfully aid them and support them in their growth, and the things that when lacking, they don't get a whole lot of results.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And there's you could I've spoken at workshops where or at speaking engagements where I started off the seminar this way.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever have you ever gone to a training in a conference, in a seminar, and they share the best strategies and the best tactics to everybody in the room, and the strategies and tactics are proven and they work, and then some people use those strategies and tactics and immediately get great results.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Some people use those strategies and tactics and get no results, and some people use or they just don't even, they just ignore, they walk out and they don't do anything with them.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's not the strategies and tactics that are causing the issues, it's not that they don't work, because if somebody uses them, then they work.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody uses them and succeeds, then they work.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not true in all conferences and seminars.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Some people get results, some people don't.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Just like my teaching, just like my coaching.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Some people get results, some people don't.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: But if I'm using the same strategies and tactics and approach, then it's not always the teacher.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I've recognized by watching some of the people that have succeeded the most, and I've got I've got people around the world right now with travel business that I was there on the leading edge of it to help them launch.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I see them taking groups of people around the world hiking and camping and doing all these cool things, going up to freaking the to to Mount Kilimanjaro and just all over the place.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that was just a dream at one point.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And there's photography businesses where the question was, do you really think I could I could make money as a as a photographer?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that that was a real question.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: I documented that in my first book, The Imposter in Charge.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And now one of the most sought-out photographers in the Midwest.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Real estate investment businesses, people that have built that I was on the leading edge of building a real estate investment business.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: My wife Angie having this dream to be in real estate in some capacity, her dream, not mine, and then seeing her begin to succeed through it.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I get to see all this success, and I get to see people that create exceptional results in their life, but I also get to contrast it with the people that don't.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I've learned, and here's what I'm piecing together.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: The people that succeed, there are three things that they needed in order to succeed.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, not everybody needs all of these, but when you combine these three, yeah, and you actually are effective and utilize them, understand them, embrace them, and recognize when you are in alignment with them and when you're not in alignment with them, when you recognize these three, you're gonna succeed.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: All right, and today I'm gonna share those three with you.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing is when I started my transformational journey, when I was ejected from corporate and I had no income, I had no business, I had no means of financial support, I didn't believe in myself.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I lacked all belief in myself.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't, I didn't I didn't think highly of myself, I didn't think I was talented, I didn't know I was, I didn't know any value that I brought to the table.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: I had no belief whatsoever in myself.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the most important things that anyone ever did for me in my life was my first coach, mentor, and and some other people that he was associated with saying these simple words you are way more powerful than you will ever, ever know, than you will ever realize, and you will ever feel.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: You are way more powerful.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: And at that point in my life, I felt no power, I felt incapable of everything.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And just having somebody to believe in me when I didn't believe in myself was like a launching pad for me.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: People oftentimes, if they're not living the life of their dreams, oftentimes they don't believe in themselves.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: They don't understand how truly powerful and capable they are.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: They don't truly understand that that they possess everything that they need inside of them in order to live in alignment with the life that will feel most fulfilling, most free, most prosperous for you.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Not for everybody else, but for you.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: But just having somebody in your life that believes in you when you don't believe in yourself is a key asset to unlocking your very potential.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And oftentimes in my coaching business, just like my photographer friend, when I said, What is your passion?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: What do you love?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, I love photography.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Why don't we start a photography business?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Do you really think I can make money and build a business around photography?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Yeah, not if it's not just possible, it's probable, especially when you get clear.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: But first, you got to believe in yourself.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I believed in him when he didn't believe in himself, and I've encouraged people all across this world to believe in themselves, and if they don't believe in themselves, borrow my belief in them because I got plenty for all of us, and I see the potential in people, I see what they're capable of, I see things in them that they don't know exists.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: I see the power, I see the capability, and when somebody doesn't see that for themselves, I share mine with them.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them borrow it, and when they borrow it, over time they start to believe in themselves, and then they don't need anybody, anybody else to believe in them because they have enough of their own.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I encourage everybody to borrow my belief in you.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: But the first thing is you need to either believe in yourself or begin to find it, because if not, you're just gonna stay stuck in life.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's number one.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Number two is understand the absolute essentiality, I don't know if that's a word, the importance, the power of clarity.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a time where I didn't understand the power of clarity.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by clarity is if you if you don't have a clear vision and a clear intention for wherever the energy, wherever you the energy in your life you you anticipate it going, or you're looking to unleash, if you don't have that clear direction, that clear intention, that clear destination, then not only do you just settle for whatever comes your way, but also you'll wake up most days to run from what you don't want instead of to create what you do.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the difference between survival mode and creation mode.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody in life knows what they don't want, but very few know what they do.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much power in clarity, and just like I said when I jumped on this on this recording, the energy in my body is off the freaking charts today because of clarity.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you feel clear about something, then it's very, very accretive to your energy, it's very energizing, it's impactful, it gives clear direction for the energy in your life, it gives clear direction, it gives a compass reading to where your life is heading.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't set that intention to where your life is heading, life will decide it for you.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: And oftentimes, you might not like what you experience.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Just like I didn't have a clear vision or clear intention in my life, except for getting promoted in corporate, and I kept getting promoted, and every step up, I got more and more out of alignment, and I hated my life more and more every step along the way, because I wasn't clear about what I really wanted, and what I really wanted was time freedom, was financial freedom, was the ability to call my own shots, the ability to not have an alarm clock, the ability to travel when I wanted, the ability to work from home, the ability to say yes when I wanted to say yes and know when I wanted to say no.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I set that intention, I set that vision back in 2017, and here I am.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's a Tuesday morning, 10 a.m.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: and I'm out taking a walk.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: And there are people driving by me right now that are going to work, somewhere where maybe they don't want to go, to do something they don't want to do, and they they're doing it out of obligation to themselves or their finances, to their family, but they haven't set a course and they're not clear about where they what they what kind of life they actually want to live.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And when you when you take the time to dive deep inside of you to understand what life are you here to live.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: You have a dream, you have a destination, you have a lifestyle, you have you have a direction in your life that when you look for it inside, when you understand it, you will realize why you actually chose to put on this freaking meat meat suit and come play human for a while.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because there is a dream buried inside of you.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: But if you don't look for it, and if you don't get clear about it, you'll wake up to just survive.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: And when you unlock that dream, you give yourself the ability to thrive, and when you do get clear, your soul starts singing, and the energy in your body goes up because clarity is power.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: One of the most difficult things I had early on in my in my journey, in my transformational journey, from broken, feeling broken, corporate business leader, failing husband, failing father, to the man that I am, to the business owner that I am, to the teacher that I am, to the speaker, to the author, to the podcaster that I am right now.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things I was missing was belief in myself.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I wouldn't dream.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because I didn't know anything was available better than just surviving.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: But when I started to believe in myself a little more, as I believed in myself, then my realization of what I actually came here to experience in the dream and the clarity that was inside of me started coming to uh started surfacing, started coming alive.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And here we are, nine years later, living the life that I envisioned back in 2017.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Clarity is power.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: And before I started getting cute in my coaching business, and before I started, before I truly understood the value of clarity, I used to host a workshop called the Choose Your Destiny Live Intensive.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I had a probably about six of them, and my mastermind blew the fuck up.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason being is because everybody gets energized when you truly unlock the dream that's in their heart.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: But so few people actually look for it anymore after your 20s, after your 30s.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: In some cases, a dream's beaten out of you when you're a child.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: But in two days, in my choose your destiny live intensive, they would come into my workshop, come into my space, and they would get so energized that they would stick around and want to see their dreams come true with me.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: And some of them did.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: My mastermind blew up, so did my business.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what helped me understand the true and essential nature of clarity, because clarity is power.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Clarity with belief is a force force of nature.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the last step, and this is the one I've been focused on a lot lately, and if you listen to any podcast episode over the last probably eight weeks or so, the one that I've really, really been diving into because I had to understand this for myself, and then begin teaching it in order to truly comprehend it and to see where it fits in with all of this stuff.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: But the third concept is that your nervous system is not always an ally in your growth.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: And most times it's not because your nervous system has one goal and one goal only, and that's to keep you alive.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: Most people say to keep me safe.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, your nervous system doesn't give you shit if you are safe.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system only cares that you are alive.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: And how does it try to keep you alive?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: It tries to keep you alive by trying to keep you in familiar circumstances.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: And why does it try to keep you in familiar circumstances?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Is because it has proven effective in being able to keep you alive there because you're alive right now and you are breathing.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system doesn't care if you're wealthy, successful, loved, accepted, approved of, feeling worthy, feeling valuable, feeling significant, your nervous system doesn't care about any of that.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system only cares that you are alive.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: And going back to the beginning, if you don't believe in yourself, then your nervous system is trying to keep you from believing in yourself because it knows how to keep you alive there.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: But change your belief and it threatens the nervous system because now it doesn't know how to keep you alive there.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because any change that's unfamiliar threatens the nervous system's job, and that's only to keep you alive.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: So your nervous system is gonna fight.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, what does that look like?
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't believe in yourself and you try to put yourself into belief, then your nervous system is going to throw up all kinds of flares of discomfort, of the imposter syndrome, of guilt and shame.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I to believe in myself?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I to feel significant?
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I to feel valuable?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because your nervous system is just going to try to keep you in that same exact experience of that same exact disempowered belief.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: So to work through this is going to be uncomfortable because you literally get to rewire our nervous system to accept and embrace a new normal.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: But at first, it will be uncomfortable because your nervous system is just trying to do its job.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it sees its job as not keeping you safe or comfortable, just keeping you alive.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: In some of the work that I've been doing, especially in the mastermind, and my mastermind, we had a retreat to Nashville, Tennessee.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I got an episode about the Speedo, my Speedo experience.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And my body is always felt, I've always felt a sense of shame over my body, whether it was fit, whether it was fat, whether it was in shape or out of shape.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: There was always body shame there.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I was ashamed to show my body to anyone, sometimes including my wife.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: And we'd go on vacation, and I wanted to hide my body and and just yeah, just not enjoy my vacation.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: But the point being is at the retreat in Nashville, I said I was I told my students I was gonna break through that, but it it takes doing something different and feeling things that we'd rather not feel.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I undressed in front of them down to a rainbow speedo.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I stood there and I taught in that rainbow speedo.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it was the most terrifying, uncomfortable, anxious thing that I've done in a long, long time.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: But I tell you what, after about an hour of standing in front of them in that rainbow speedo, couldn't even feel it anymore.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a non non-issue.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then a couple weeks later, when my wife and I went to Cancun, didn't care what anybody thought about me because the nervous system had begun rewiring itself around the new normal that it could keep me alive when I was being seen.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that's all, that was the reason for all the body shame, is because it had been ever present and it knew how to keep me alive there.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: So any indications that I wasn't ashamed of my body would threaten the nervous system and it would do anything it could to get me back into a familiar circumstance.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: The same thing with skydiving.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: I went skydiving for a couple years ago.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, my birthday, actually, and I was terrified the first time I jumped out of a plane, and my body went numb when I jumped out or when I was walking up to the door with my tandem partner.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, that guy could have been yawning walking there because he had been out of that plane, jumped out of that plane so often that he he still jumps out eight times a day.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: So his body sees that as completely, completely familiar, and it it is it trusts that it can keep him alive there.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: So the nervous system doesn't fight it, jumping out of the plane.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: Same thing with Marine Corps boot camp.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Very first day of Marine Corps boot camp, you got a bunch of maniacs screaming at you, and every cell in your body is anxious and screaming and wants to run and wants to hide.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: And on the last day of Marine Corps boot camp, they could do the same thing and you don't even feel it because your nervous system has completely rewired itself around the new new circumstance and a new normal.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the power of understanding that your nervous system is just trying to keep you alive, but any change is going to be uncomfortable and it's not gonna be your ally.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: The key isn't just understanding one of these concepts, it's understanding all of them and putting them together and recognizing when you're slipping in in one of the areas because it requires all three in order to truly, truly live the life that you were always intended to live, but there was just something missing that wouldn't let you wouldn't let you access it.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: A powerful belief in yourself, or someone, at least someone who believes in you.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's essential.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody or a group that believes in you until you have your own belief in yourself because you've proven that you are powerful and capable, where in the past you didn't feel that that was so.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Number two is clarity.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: What do you exactly want your life to look like?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want your health to look like?
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want your wealth to look like?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want your impact in this world to look like?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want your relationships to look like?
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want your lifestyle to look like?
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: Your time?
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want, what do you want your day to look like?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's the power of clarity.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it takes suspending like reality, suspending reality, pretending that none of this exists right now, and starting with a clean whiteboard.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: And you do that exercise, it's gonna start to it's gonna start to energize you, I guarantee you.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly, understand that on your way to creating that life, life is gonna bump into you and it's gonna cut you, and there's gonna be some discomfort because you can't have growth and comfort at the same time.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: And growth requires understanding the limits, the current limits of the nervous system and beginning to work through them.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding the role that the nervous system isn't always your ally in creating the life of your dreams.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: But if you master your nervous system, then then it'll stop mastering you.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: So thinking about these three, I'm gonna ask you, I want you to reflect.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you emailed me, if you messaged me, if you reached out, where are you struggling in your life?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: To believe in yourself, to get clear about what you actually want in your life?
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Or how about you just don't know how to break through the discomfort of change and transformation?
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Where where are you struggling most?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: Next week I have my next live intensive workshop, and I've labeled it built to give, rebuilt the receive.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: And although that's a very, very powerful name, it I just got too cute.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because what we're here to do is receive the life of our dreams, and it takes recognizing your belief or borrowing somebody else's, getting clear about what direction is actually perfect for your life, and number three is being willing to get uncomfortable where most people are seeking comfort.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you struggling?
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: And are you open to joining me in my next workshop and in the work that I do with people?
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: So that maybe you one day will have your own travel business or photography business or a real estate investment business, or maybe even your own coaching business.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: Walking around the 10 a.m.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: hour on a Tuesday with total time freedom.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, love you.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening to this podcast.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to interact with you, engage with you, send me some messages, let me know where you are, and we'll see how I can help.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Until uh until next week, we'll talk soon, and I just want you to dive in and just figure out kind of what's got you blocked, what's got you in a headlot.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed what you heard and you want to learn more, go to www.innerwealthglobal.com for more tools and resources.