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How to Handle Gossip That Comes Your Way · Daily Devotions for Busy Lives

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Bart Leger: Joshua had a co-worker named Carrie who
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barely acknowledged him. Then, one afternoon, she pulled up a
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chair and started talking, and he thought her friendship was
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starting. He soon caught the pattern, though. Carrie only
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came around when she had something bad to say about their
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boss. Joshua listened and nodded, telling himself he was being a
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good ear. But every visit left him feeling a little dirty, and
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he was starting to see his boss through her eyes. The truth was,
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the gossip coming his way had begun to change him, and he had
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a decision to make before she opened her mouth again. We'll
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come back to what he decided, but first,
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welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Léger.
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Okay, so I'm as curious as the next person. Somebody starts
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telling me something about somebody else, and I catch
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myself wanting to hear the rest of it. It happens often enough
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that I know the temptation's there. to remind myself to tell
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people I shouldn't be hearing this. A pastor ought to be the
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last person in the room who wants that kind of information.
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Some weeks, I'm the first. Gossip has a pull that most
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Christians underestimate. Somebody comes to you with
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information about another person that you have no need to know.
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And here's the part that we skip over. There's a small rush that
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goes with it. Come on, admit it. Being handed something private
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feels a lot like being trusted. So you feel the tug to ask one
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follow-up question. Wait, what did she say about that? Or you
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say nothing and file it away, and then you pull it back out a
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few months later when it turns out to be useful. Either way,
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you took delivery. Nobody gossips in an empty room. It
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takes two people. Solomon had something to say about that.
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Proverbs 20, 19. A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don't
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hang around with chatterers. Look at who Solomon's talking to
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in that verse. The warning goes to the listener. you what to do
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about your own company because the talker already has a habit
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and you have a choice whether to stand there for The second half
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is where he gives the instruction. Don't hang around
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with chatterers. That's about your feet more than your mouth.
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He's telling you to be somewhere else. Being on the receiving end
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makes you a participant. The information travels only because
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somebody takes it in. When you listen, you're the reason it got
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anywhere at all. Now, you don't have to be rude about it. Most
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people are braced for rudeness, which is part of why the gentle
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version works as well as it does. You can say something like, I
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don't think I need to know this, or I'd rather not talk about her
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when she isn't here. Most people, hopefully, will take the hint
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the first time. And say it early during the conversation. The
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longer you listen, the more damage it can do. And here's
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what you get out of it. The person being talked about is
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spared a wound they will never know about. They won't thank you,
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and they'll never find out. Do it anyway. Most of the kindest
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things anybody has ever done for you happen in rooms you were
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never in. You also keep your own view of that person clean.
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Joshua noticed he was starting to see his boss through Carrie's
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eyes. And that's the damage the listener takes. The next time
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Carrie rolled her chair over, Joshua said it with kindness. He
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told her very plainly that if she wasn't careful, running
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people down would become the only way she knew how to connect
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with anyone at work. She kept her distance after that. Their
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whole bond had been built on a shared target, and once he
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stopped feeding it, there was nothing left. Joshua came to
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want his mind fixed on whatever is true and honorable, the way
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Philippians 4.8 puts it. Look at what happened to that friendship.
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Their whole connection centered around a shared target, and when
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he quit feeding it, there was nothing left. That tells you
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what it had been the whole time. And look at where he turned.
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Philippians 4.8 Whatever is true and honorable. He changed what
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he gave his mind to, and the appetite followed. Here's
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today's challenge. Decide your sentence today before you need
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it, and practice it out loud if you have to, so it's ready when
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the moment comes. I don't think I need to know this. That one
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works because it keeps the focus on you. Then think back over the
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last conversation you had about somebody who wasn't in the room,
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and ask God whether you were a participant in it. If a
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particular person came to mind while you were listening to this,
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then that's probably the conversation. Father, we like
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knowing things. You've made us curious, and we have turned that
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curiosity toward places you never meant it to go. Forgive us
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for the conversations we've enjoyed at somebody else's
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expense, and for the times we stayed in the room when we
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should have walked out of it. Give us the words to stop it
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kindly the next time it starts, and the nerve to use them early.
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Guard the people who are being talked about today in rooms
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they'll never hear about. In Jesus' name, amen. If you need
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prayer today, I'd love to hear from you. You can leave me a
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voicemail at dailydevotionsforbusylives.com
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slash voicemail. I listen to everyone, and it'd be an honor
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to bring your name before the Lord. Thanks for joining me on
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Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, gossip takes two
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people, and you get to decide whether you're the second one.
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Have your sentence ready. Come back next time for more
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encouragement to help you live grounded in God's truth. Until
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then, God bless, and have a great day.