Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / There Is No Fairy Tale with Lindsey Vonn
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Oh, hello, good afternoon. Good buenos tardes, I mean buenos
- 0:07Speaker 1: I don't even know what I mean. I'm so sick
- 0:09Speaker 1: of my bell correcting me in my fucking Spanish. I mean, like,
- 0:13Speaker 1: she corrects everything I say, but she's not correcting me
- 0:16Speaker 1: to speak proper Spanish. She speaks slang Spanish admittingly. She
- 0:20Speaker 1: says to me, well, this is how we speak in Mexico.
- 0:22Speaker 1: And I'm like, great, but I'm trying to learn Spanish
- 0:25Speaker 1: for Spain and true. And I also don't want to
- 0:29Speaker 1: point out that I don't ever correct her fucking English.
- 0:33Speaker 1: Never I'd ever say oh, no, that words, those words
- 0:36Speaker 1: go in the opposite direction or anything. But she is
- 0:39Speaker 1: riding me like a wave wants to be broke out
- 0:43Speaker 1: off my jock. I'm like, do you want me to
- 0:45Speaker 1: learn Spanish? Or don't you if you keep putting up
- 0:48Speaker 1: these barriers? Uh? And she just loves it, though, But
- 0:51Speaker 1: I gotta give it to her, like I know that
- 0:53Speaker 1: that must be satisfying for her to be able to
- 0:55Speaker 1: correct me all the time. And you asked her to
- 0:59Speaker 1: to Well, yeah, I said I wanted to speak Spanish.
- 1:02Speaker 1: You could let me slide a little bit with my grammar.
- 1:04Speaker 1: But you know what I love. I'm such a grammarian.
- 1:06Speaker 1: I care so much about grammar that I really want.
- 1:10Speaker 1: I want to speak proper Spanish anyway, It's just it's
- 1:12Speaker 1: too much of a beginner's Spanish to be there yet. Yeah,
- 1:17Speaker 1: what have I learned this week? I learned about Cuba
- 1:20Speaker 1: and sugar. Well, you know, after this, I learned all
- 1:25Speaker 1: about Spain. Oh, I have to promote a show April twenty.
- 1:28Speaker 1: It's Spokane. That's the second show we added in Spokane.
- 1:31Speaker 1: It's not quite sold out, so please buy your tickets,
- 1:34Speaker 1: you motherfucker's. And what other shows do I need to promote? Well,
- 1:38Speaker 1: they're all really almost sold out. Red Rocks Amphitheater. That
- 1:42Speaker 1: one's not sold out yet. Red Rocks Amphitheater. That's a
- 1:44Speaker 1: big one. That's like people. So yeah, go to Chelsea
- 1:47Speaker 1: Headler dot com. There are some tickets for some other shows.
- 1:50Speaker 1: But yeah, and I'm going to add a whole bunch
- 1:52Speaker 1: of new dates I think sometime this month. Yeah, fantastic.
- 1:55Speaker 1: It's so hard to figure out where I am. I
- 1:57Speaker 1: thought I was in Cuba, so I learned all about
- 1:59Speaker 1: the Spanish conquering Cuba, and then the English conquering Cuba,
- 2:03Speaker 1: and then they had a treaty and they gave Cuba
- 2:06Speaker 1: back to Spain, and then they kept Florida, and then
- 2:08Speaker 1: they kept the Lower Mississippi some areas around there, and
- 2:11Speaker 1: then they discovered sugar during the Atlantic slave trade, which
- 2:15Speaker 1: was started by the English. I'd like to say that
- 2:17Speaker 1: make sure we mentioned so that people fucking understand history,
- 2:22Speaker 1: because I am so confused about so many things. I
- 2:25Speaker 1: was like, where didn't we all come from Egypt to
- 2:27Speaker 1: my brother one day He's like, no, you asshole, And
- 2:30Speaker 1: so now I'm reading a book. Then we all came
- 2:33Speaker 1: from Africa. Everybody came from Africa. Ye, So anyway, the sugar. Yeah,
- 2:38Speaker 1: so Cuba was the center of sugar for a long time.
- 2:42Speaker 1: Slaves were responsible for all of the prosperity of the
- 2:45Speaker 1: United States, beginning the United States and basically taking all
- 2:49Speaker 1: of the sugarcane, hacking it, cutting it, transferring it, blah
- 2:53Speaker 1: blah blah. And so that's when the Atlantic slave trade peaked,
- 2:57Speaker 1: was during the sugar I want to say rush, but
- 2:59Speaker 1: I don't think it's called the rush. I like calling
- 3:01Speaker 1: it a sugar rush. Yeah, sugar rush, that's a different
- 3:05Speaker 1: that's a different. That's something too, So yeah, there's that.
- 3:08Speaker 1: And then I'm learning about Neanderthals and Denisovans and Anatolia
- 3:13Speaker 1: and Homo erectus and how we all kind of changed
- 3:16Speaker 1: and when we split off, like right before Homo erectus
- 3:20Speaker 1: we split off, we diverged. One became chimpanzees and the
- 3:24Speaker 1: other became modern humans. Oh my god, short history of
- 3:27Speaker 1: humanity is called. I need to read what you're reading,
- 3:29Speaker 1: because like, as a kid who grew up going to
- 3:31Speaker 1: Christian school, where we had let's say, a warped and
- 3:34Speaker 1: abbreviated version of science, I didn't even know that like
- 3:37Speaker 1: Pangaea existed until I was in college. I remember saying
- 3:41Speaker 1: to a teacher once, why does it look like the two,
- 3:44Speaker 1: you know, halves of the earth would fit together? And
- 3:46Speaker 1: they're like, that's just a funny thing. God dead Like
- 3:49Speaker 1: that kind of stuff was what I grew up. I
- 3:50Speaker 1: also believed that we were everything was connected, even the islands,
- 3:55Speaker 1: and not all the islands like Sardinia Corsica were never
- 3:59Speaker 1: part of the mainland. They were just like they were volcanic. Yes, yes,
- 4:03Speaker 1: so they have their own thing going. So that's interesting too,
- 4:06Speaker 1: that that would naturally happen that there would be islands
- 4:09Speaker 1: sprinkled everywhere, you know, I mean, I guess I got
- 4:12Speaker 1: such bad science education. I didn't even remember the word
- 4:15Speaker 1: for continents, you know, the halves of the world. It's
- 4:17Speaker 1: just wild. Yeah, it is wild. And I know you
- 4:20Speaker 1: know you read something and you'd retain I'd be interested
- 4:23Speaker 1: in my level of retainment. I want to take tests
- 4:25Speaker 1: after every book I read to see how much I
- 4:28Speaker 1: took in. I think we're trying to send you back
- 4:30Speaker 1: to college. I wouldn't go back to send some sort
- 4:33Speaker 1: of curriculum quite frankly, Okay, what do we got. What's
- 4:38Speaker 1: happening to? Well, Chelsea, I have my ski buddy on today,
- 4:42Speaker 1: but I won't tell you that is until she's on.
- 4:44Speaker 1: That's very exciting. So, Chelsea, I had an email come
- 4:49Speaker 1: in about Dana, who had called in her stepson was
- 4:54Speaker 1: being sort of vaguely creepy and yes, yes, and she
- 4:59Speaker 1: mentioned like he was maybe being a little too touchy
- 5:01Speaker 1: feely with her son. And I just thought this email
- 5:04Speaker 1: was so important that I wanted to share it with you.
- 5:07Speaker 1: Heather says, Hello, Chelsea and Catherine. I wanted to say
- 5:11Speaker 1: thank you for providing the audience with the mother that
- 5:14Speaker 1: called in about her steps on she feels uncomfortable around.
- 5:17Speaker 1: While I had no doubt this would be a response,
- 5:19Speaker 1: I truly appreciate you not minimizing the seriousness of needing
- 5:23Speaker 1: to take action to protect her younger son, self and family.
- 5:27Speaker 1: I'm also in awe of the mother's strength to reach
- 5:29Speaker 1: out for advice, because that is so tricky. I mean,
- 5:32Speaker 1: it's like it's the sort of nebulous thing. My personal
- 5:35Speaker 1: story includes eight plus years of a very close family
- 5:39Speaker 1: friend grooming me as a child with uncomfortable touching, inappropriate
- 5:43Speaker 1: sexual conversations for an adult to have with a child,
- 5:46Speaker 1: shower peeping, accidental quote unquote porn exposure, and more. While
- 5:51Speaker 1: rape never occurred, it has left years worth of trauma
- 5:54Speaker 1: response that I'm working through with a great therapist. However,
- 5:58Speaker 1: at the time it was brushed off by others as
- 6:01Speaker 1: creepy old man vibes or that shoulder or waiste touching
- 6:04Speaker 1: wasn't considered a sexual touch even if I didn't want it.
- 6:08Speaker 1: I think I was meant to hear this podcast today
- 6:10Speaker 1: as my therapy session this week was focused on my
- 6:13Speaker 1: continued struggle with not freezing in a moment when someone
- 6:16Speaker 1: touches me in a suggestive but not legally sexual way.
- 6:20Speaker 1: The mother listening to her intuition and taking charge to
- 6:23Speaker 1: keep her young sons safe could have a huge impact
- 6:26Speaker 1: on her son's future. It's something I wish would have
- 6:29Speaker 1: happened for myself. Her older stepson clearly also needs support,
- 6:33Speaker 1: and I'm thankful you communicated to prioritize safety of family
- 6:35Speaker 1: while acknowledging his need for help too. It's these conversations
- 6:39Speaker 1: and stories that I hope will help others think differently
- 6:41Speaker 1: on the impact these quote unquote micro traumas can have
- 6:44Speaker 1: over time. Thanks so much for your awesomeness ensuring both
- 6:47Speaker 1: the funny and needed stories of our lives. Heather. I
- 6:50Speaker 1: like how she said micro trauma because I learned about
- 6:52Speaker 1: complex trauma from a friend of mine over the weekend
- 6:55Speaker 1: who I hung out with, and he was telling me
- 6:57Speaker 1: about complex trauma is trauma overtime, right, like neglect or
- 7:02Speaker 1: alcoholism or drug addiction, something like that that you're that
- 7:06Speaker 1: you lay witness to. If you have a sibling that
- 7:08Speaker 1: has a terrible schizophrenia, that would be complex trauma, which
- 7:14Speaker 1: is different than event trauma and PTSD is related to
- 7:18Speaker 1: event trauma. But I want to underline the intuition part
- 7:24Speaker 1: because more and more people are talking about intuition and
- 7:27Speaker 1: understanding that it is a very concrete, if not measurable thing.
- 7:31Speaker 1: And for every woman and man that is listening to
- 7:35Speaker 1: all our gays, you all have it. We all have intuition.
- 7:40Speaker 1: We all have a feeling in our stomach and our gut.
- 7:43Speaker 1: Sometimes it's in your heart, or it feels like in
- 7:45Speaker 1: your heart, but it is really in your gut when
- 7:47Speaker 1: you meet someone, and it's the exact opposite of the
- 7:51Speaker 1: feeling you get when you know something's wrong, when somebody
- 7:54Speaker 1: comes into your space a person and you know they're
- 7:57Speaker 1: dangerous right away you see that they're sketchy, or that
- 8:00Speaker 1: they're unhinged, or that they're unpredictable. That feeling right there,
- 8:05Speaker 1: you could also have in the opposite way about something
- 8:08Speaker 1: you should do, or somebody you should move towards, or
- 8:11Speaker 1: a thing that is right, And if you really listen
- 8:14Speaker 1: to yourself, you are going to know what that is.
- 8:18Speaker 1: And we don't talk about intuition in the way that
- 8:20Speaker 1: we need to, because young girls need to trust their intuition,
- 8:24Speaker 1: They need to trust the way that their body feels
- 8:26Speaker 1: because your body will tell your brain what is happening,
- 8:29Speaker 1: and it is. It's such a concrete thing. It's like
- 8:32Speaker 1: you when you're in a certain situation or you're around
- 8:35Speaker 1: someone who makes you uncomfortable, it turns into a physical reaction.
- 8:40Speaker 1: Your stomach gets in a knot, your hair goes up
- 8:42Speaker 1: on the back of your neck. Like trust your changes.
- 8:45Speaker 1: The way are holding yourself and carrying yourself changes, like
- 8:48Speaker 1: the body is communicating with you. Yeah. You know, sometimes
- 8:52Speaker 1: I fold my arms when I'm in a conversation, and
- 8:55Speaker 1: I realize how offputting that is. Like that's the definition
- 8:58Speaker 1: of being defensive, is having your arms folded, even if
- 9:01Speaker 1: that's a comfortable position for you. That's how it's kind
- 9:03Speaker 1: of received most of the time. And that's because my
- 9:06Speaker 1: body's doing it. My body is saying, oh, I'm uncomfortable
- 9:09Speaker 1: in this conversation, and you have to listen to those signals.
- 9:13Speaker 1: Or you know, sometimes it's just ego, like oh, there's
- 9:16Speaker 1: saying something that I don't like or I don't agree
- 9:18Speaker 1: with it or whatever. But yeah, I think that's a
- 9:21Speaker 1: great conversation for any parents listening to have with your
- 9:23Speaker 1: young children. Yeah, following your gut It is so important,
- 9:27Speaker 1: especially with situations like the ones we're just talking about
- 9:30Speaker 1: right where it's not illegal, it's not illicit, but it
- 9:33Speaker 1: is something that is having an effect and an impact
- 9:36Speaker 1: on that child or that adult. You know, this can
- 9:39Speaker 1: happen in adult situations as well. One really helpful listener, Tatiana,
- 9:42Speaker 1: wrote in saying some of the early warning signs of
- 9:45Speaker 1: psychosis are a worrisome drop in grades or job performance,
- 9:49Speaker 1: trouble thinking clearly, suspiciousness or uneasiness with others, a decline
- 9:55Speaker 1: in self care or personal hygiene, spending a lot more
- 9:58Speaker 1: time alone than usual, and strong inappropriate emotions or having
- 10:02Speaker 1: no feelings at all. And I think that's a really
- 10:04Speaker 1: important thing to point out as well, because that age
- 10:07Speaker 1: they said, like twenty seven right around there, that's kind
- 10:10Speaker 1: of when some mental illnesses will present themselves to people.
- 10:14Speaker 1: So thanks to everyone who wrote in about that. So
- 10:16Speaker 1: I thought this was so important to highlight and really
- 10:19Speaker 1: paying attention to those little things. And if someone says
- 10:22Speaker 1: I'm uncomfortable, like listening to them and seeing what needs
- 10:25Speaker 1: to what steps need to be taken. So okay, so
- 10:28Speaker 1: who's our first guest? Okay, our first guest. It's our
- 10:31Speaker 1: only guest. I forgot that I'm not on a TV
- 10:32Speaker 1: show right now. Our guest today is a friend of mine,
- 10:38Speaker 1: a good friend of mine, and she's an Olympic gold
- 10:40Speaker 1: medalist and she's a skier. But before I introduced her,
- 10:43Speaker 1: I really want to mention her philanthropy. She has a
- 10:46Speaker 1: foundation called a Lindsay Vaughan Foundation, which empowers underserved girls
- 10:51Speaker 1: with camps, scholarships and more. So please make sure you
- 10:54Speaker 1: are aware of that and check it out. She wrote
- 10:56Speaker 1: a great book which everyone should read. It's called Rise. Okay,
- 11:00Speaker 1: please welcome Lindsay von h Then she is Miss America.
- 11:07Speaker 1: I was hoping that I was going to interrupt you
- 11:09Speaker 1: your ski day today. Where are you in Orlando? Oh? Yeah,
- 11:14Speaker 1: you know, I have a dilemma. Actually, I'm glad you
- 11:16Speaker 1: brought up Florida because for my new tour, I was
- 11:19Speaker 1: just on the phone with my agents this morning and
- 11:21Speaker 1: they were going over routing for the fall dates that
- 11:23Speaker 1: were going to announce later, and Florida was on the list.
- 11:26Speaker 1: And I said, guys, I don't know about Florida anymore.
- 11:29Speaker 1: And they're like, well, do you really want to punish
- 11:30Speaker 1: the people in Florida like you have people you every
- 11:32Speaker 1: time you go, you go to like six stops of Florida.
- 11:34Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't. I don't want to punish
- 11:36Speaker 1: the people of Florida. They're being punished enough. But I
- 11:38Speaker 1: feel like as a statement, I just have to say
- 11:41Speaker 1: fuck off. Like when is enough enough? Like all of
- 11:43Speaker 1: this legislation, Like I feel like DeSantis needs to know.
- 11:46Speaker 1: Certain people aren't going to come. I'm sure they don't
- 11:48Speaker 1: care about me. But if more people do it, But
- 11:51Speaker 1: then there's the argument that you're affecting revenue, you're affecting
- 11:54Speaker 1: people's jobs, you're affecting people's lifestyle. So I don't really
- 11:57Speaker 1: know what the right answer is. If anybody listening has
- 11:59Speaker 1: feelings on this, please DM me. Actually DM lindsay she'll
- 12:04Speaker 1: she'll go through them first and then she'll read that
- 12:06Speaker 1: to me. What are you doing in Orlando? I'm speaking,
- 12:13Speaker 1: you know, apparently some people want my advice for some reason.
- 12:16Speaker 1: I don't know. I believe it. You're a champion. We
- 12:19Speaker 1: were just watching your night race at I'll say the streef,
- 12:23Speaker 1: the streef in clothes, okay, kids by Kispuel fuel, Yes,
- 12:31Speaker 1: Kidspuel the strife. Yes, good job guys. Yeah, and this
- 12:35Speaker 1: video is of you skiing the world's hardest ski run.
- 12:40Speaker 1: You were not only the first woman to do it,
- 12:42Speaker 1: but you also did it in the dark, just to
- 12:44Speaker 1: make it more insane. This video is crazy. I'll put
- 12:48Speaker 1: a link to it in the show notes. It's a
- 12:50Speaker 1: hard one. Honestly, I've not run into one American that
- 12:53Speaker 1: has gotten it right so far. But it's okay. The
- 12:55Speaker 1: effort was there. I appreciate you well. It's also a
- 12:58Speaker 1: hard line to ski. It's not even a line. I
- 13:00Speaker 1: don't even know what the fuck you would call what
- 13:02Speaker 1: you do, but it is so hardcore. It's so bad us.
- 13:06Speaker 1: I mean all my ski buddies from Whistler who are
- 13:08Speaker 1: real ski you know, like they know how to ski
- 13:11Speaker 1: and they are just like you. When that video came out,
- 13:14Speaker 1: we must have watched it like fifteen times. If you
- 13:16Speaker 1: haven't seen it, she did it with Red Bull. You
- 13:18Speaker 1: can watch it on Lindsay's Instagram, which you should be
- 13:20Speaker 1: following her anyway, because you put out great content. I
- 13:22Speaker 1: saw you powder skiing the other day and I wanted
- 13:24Speaker 1: to ask you, how do you because if you spent
- 13:27Speaker 1: your life training you know, downhill and slom and all
- 13:31Speaker 1: the stuff that you do, do you spend a lot
- 13:33Speaker 1: of time in powder before you retire. Oh no, I
- 13:36Speaker 1: never powder skied because I was so worried that I
- 13:39Speaker 1: would hurt myself. And some of the other athletes would
- 13:42Speaker 1: go powder skiing, like if our race was canceled because
- 13:45Speaker 1: of so much No, you know, definitely I would say
- 13:48Speaker 1: some of the girls would go, like people that are
- 13:51Speaker 1: from California that grew up skiing powder, But I didn't
- 13:54Speaker 1: grow up skiing powder. I'm from Minnesota. There's not one
- 13:58Speaker 1: powder day in the entire season. It's mostly man man
- 14:03Speaker 1: and just cool as hell. So I just I love skiing,
- 14:06Speaker 1: you know, and it's powder is a lot easier on
- 14:10Speaker 1: my knees. And while it's not something that you know,
- 14:13Speaker 1: I've grown up with, I just I love it and
- 14:16Speaker 1: it's fun and it's the most exciting thing that I
- 14:19Speaker 1: can do outside of racing. Yeah, powder skiing is really
- 14:24Speaker 1: fucking fun. And you know what's so fun about it,
- 14:26Speaker 1: or so funny about it is that when you learn
- 14:29Speaker 1: how to ski technically, as Lindsay can speak to way
- 14:33Speaker 1: more than I can. But from what little I've gleaned,
- 14:36Speaker 1: everything you learn about regular skiing goes out the window.
- 14:39Speaker 1: When you ski powder, you know, you're not at an
- 14:42Speaker 1: air goal, you're not turning, you're bouncing like a bunny
- 14:44Speaker 1: rabbit through the snow and just like hopping. Like yeah,
- 14:48Speaker 1: it's like leaning back. It's the exact opposite that any
- 14:52Speaker 1: instructor would ever teach you. It's all just leaned back
- 14:56Speaker 1: and ride the wave. It's like surfing. It's pretty funny
- 14:59Speaker 1: because to your point, is the exact opposite of what
- 15:02Speaker 1: you've been told, what you've been taught, and just throw
- 15:04Speaker 1: it all out the window. Yeah. Yeah, Well you've been
- 15:07Speaker 1: through a lot and you've been injured a lot, and
- 15:10Speaker 1: I want to talk a little bit. I know you.
- 15:11Speaker 1: Lindsey wrote a great book about her whole life, her autobiography,
- 15:15Speaker 1: and in it you talk a lot about your recoveries
- 15:19Speaker 1: from from many different accidents, and I want to know
- 15:23Speaker 1: obviously you're mentally tough. You couldn't survive all of this
- 15:26Speaker 1: and continue to go back out there, especially what you
- 15:28Speaker 1: just skied in Kitspuel, Like why why would you do that?
- 15:31Speaker 1: And you said, I mean I think you said you
- 15:33Speaker 1: had like your surgery ready to go in case you
- 15:35Speaker 1: did wipe out and hurt yourself. Is that true? Yeah,
- 15:38Speaker 1: I mean I'm getting my knee replaced, so I figured
- 15:40Speaker 1: this was a perfect time to do it, because if
- 15:42Speaker 1: I crash and I need surgery, I'm getting it anyways,
- 15:45Speaker 1: so I don't mind risking it. But I've had my
- 15:50Speaker 1: fair share of surgeries. I mean, you've purt your knee,
- 15:52Speaker 1: you know, you know the deal. But I don't think
- 15:55Speaker 1: it's ever impacted my passion for ski racing or first
- 15:58Speaker 1: skiing in general. I just love the mountain. I just
- 16:01Speaker 1: wish it had been a little bit easier on my body.
- 16:04Speaker 1: But I don't have any regrets. You know, despite the
- 16:07Speaker 1: fact that I limp around most of the time, I
- 16:10Speaker 1: still wouldn't change anything. Well, let's talk about the mindset
- 16:13Speaker 1: that allows you to do that, because you work out
- 16:15Speaker 1: really hard, so I know your body's been beaten up,
- 16:18Speaker 1: but you still have a significant amount of strength left
- 16:21Speaker 1: and determination in order to keep all of that going,
- 16:24Speaker 1: which I think is really vital for I think all women,
- 16:27Speaker 1: you know what I mean, with like our physicality. It's
- 16:29Speaker 1: like you get an injury and you can be so
- 16:31Speaker 1: down on yourself. First of all, it's depressing and you're immobile,
- 16:34Speaker 1: and then you're taking pills and you're you know, you're
- 16:36Speaker 1: trying to recuperate and all of that is like a
- 16:38Speaker 1: real negative downer on you. So to be able to
- 16:42Speaker 1: pick yourself back up that from that, not once but
- 16:45Speaker 1: repeatedly is very admirable. And to keep going. You know,
- 16:49Speaker 1: I know a lot of people who get into an
- 16:50Speaker 1: accident and they don't want to ever do that thing again.
- 16:52Speaker 1: And it's like, oh, I want to do that thing
- 16:54Speaker 1: right away again because I don't want to be scared
- 16:55Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, exactly. I mean I think to your point,
- 16:59Speaker 1: a lot of people can get down and I got
- 17:01Speaker 1: very down. I mean I got really depressed when I
- 17:03Speaker 1: was injured. I missed the Olympics. I was injured back
- 17:06Speaker 1: to back acls, which took me out for almost two
- 17:09Speaker 1: years in a row. And it's really hard to find
- 17:12Speaker 1: anything positive, you know, when you especially when you repeatedly
- 17:16Speaker 1: get injured, like what am I doing? You know? Why
- 17:18Speaker 1: am I doing this? And it's hard to find the motivation.
- 17:22Speaker 1: But I think for me, it always goes back to passion,
- 17:24Speaker 1: you know why. I love ski racing and I've always
- 17:28Speaker 1: have and that's why I kept doing it and kept
- 17:30Speaker 1: coming back. But it doesn't make their recovery any easier.
- 17:33Speaker 1: You know, it's always with three habits, always two steps forward,
- 17:36Speaker 1: one step back, and sometimes one step forward two steps back.
- 17:40Speaker 1: You know, it's a very monotonous, long, slow grind, and
- 17:45Speaker 1: I just have learned through repetition that you just have
- 17:49Speaker 1: to stick to it and keep keep going, you know,
- 17:52Speaker 1: keep putting one foot in the front in front of
- 17:53Speaker 1: the other, and that's the only thing you can do, honestly.
- 17:58Speaker 1: And your transition since you retired has been You're still
- 18:02Speaker 1: really involved with the US ski team. You're still really
- 18:04Speaker 1: involved in skiing. You're skiing with people all the time
- 18:08Speaker 1: in Utah, Veil or you know, all over the place,
- 18:10Speaker 1: I guess, And so tell me it talked to me
- 18:12Speaker 1: a little bit about that transition for you, because I know,
- 18:15Speaker 1: as an athlete or I don't know, I can imagine
- 18:17Speaker 1: how difficult it must be to say goodbye to that
- 18:19Speaker 1: part of your life. But in a way you've kind
- 18:21Speaker 1: of extended it in a way that we haven't seen
- 18:23Speaker 1: many people do publicly. Yeah, I mean, I definitely felt
- 18:27Speaker 1: like when I retired, a part of me died. You know.
- 18:31Speaker 1: It was something where I knew I could never go
- 18:34Speaker 1: back and I've been doing it my entire life. I've
- 18:37Speaker 1: been skiing since I was two and a half years old.
- 18:39Speaker 1: And after I retired, I woke up and what I
- 18:43Speaker 1: love to do every day was suddenly gone, and I
- 18:46Speaker 1: had to really figure out, Okay, what is it about
- 18:49Speaker 1: ski racing that I loved? I love being on the mountain.
- 18:51Speaker 1: So it took me about a year and a half,
- 18:54Speaker 1: but I got back out there and I relearned my
- 18:57Speaker 1: passion for the sport as a whole, and I enjoyed
- 19:01Speaker 1: skiing with my family, with my friends. I've gone to
- 19:04Speaker 1: places now that I've been many times before, but I've
- 19:06Speaker 1: never actually skied. I've been to Korshevelle. I've raced there many, many,
- 19:10Speaker 1: many times, but I've never been anywhere other than the
- 19:13Speaker 1: race trail. So I got to go back and explore
- 19:16Speaker 1: the mountain and you know, find my passion again. And
- 19:20Speaker 1: I think, you know, for me, I don't like sitting
- 19:23Speaker 1: still downhill. I always had adrenaline and that was really
- 19:27Speaker 1: hard to replace. But I've found ways to challenge myself
- 19:30Speaker 1: and you know, push myself now in business and just
- 19:33Speaker 1: keep again, like waking up every day with a new challenge.
- 19:36Speaker 1: And that's been exciting. It's you know, I feel like
- 19:38Speaker 1: there's so many opportunities and I'm excited for the future,
- 19:41Speaker 1: to be honest, yeah, I know. I like watching what
- 19:44Speaker 1: you've been doing in the last couple of years. And
- 19:47Speaker 1: we've known each other for a long time actually, and
- 19:50Speaker 1: it feels like you have really found your groove and
- 19:53Speaker 1: like all of these opportunities, your philanthropy, your foundation, and
- 19:58Speaker 1: all of the business oportunities that you have cultivated for
- 20:01Speaker 1: yourself is a great model I think for a lot
- 20:04Speaker 1: of younger athletes who are probably looking going, oh, she
- 20:07Speaker 1: made this like so seamless, you know, well, it definitely
- 20:10Speaker 1: wasn't seamless. I mean, I can't tell you how hard
- 20:12Speaker 1: it was. You know, as a ski racer, we don't
- 20:15Speaker 1: we don't make money. There's no money in ski racing.
- 20:18Speaker 1: So I had to really work hard to make a
- 20:21Speaker 1: business for myself. And my dad always made me aware
- 20:24Speaker 1: when I was younger that if I wanted to be successful,
- 20:27Speaker 1: I had to be more than an athlete, and so
- 20:30Speaker 1: I always took at that approach. I always want the
- 20:32Speaker 1: extra mile. I always did all the interviews, you know,
- 20:35Speaker 1: I was really careful with my sponsorships, what partnerships. I
- 20:39Speaker 1: chose always thinking long term, and I was actually made
- 20:42Speaker 1: fun of. You know, a lot of people were like,
- 20:43Speaker 1: why are you spending so much time with this, You know,
- 20:46Speaker 1: you're distracted from your racing, And I said, no, I
- 20:48Speaker 1: can do both. I can win races, I can have
- 20:51Speaker 1: my own business. I can be successful on multiple levels
- 20:54Speaker 1: at the same time. And I think, you know, just
- 20:58Speaker 1: believing in myself and not listening to anyone else was
- 21:01Speaker 1: was the best thing that I could do, because I
- 21:03Speaker 1: wouldn't be anywhere if I'd listened to every single person
- 21:06Speaker 1: that said I wouldn't do anything, or couldn't be anything,
- 21:09Speaker 1: or you know, couldn't multitask. Women are great multitaskers. I
- 21:13Speaker 1: think I know the fucking tell me about it. I mean, honestly, like,
- 21:16Speaker 1: women are so much better. When I was at the
- 21:19Speaker 1: doctors this morning, and I would ask him one question
- 21:22Speaker 1: and then he just stopped everything he was doing to
- 21:25Speaker 1: answer the question. And I looked at him and I
- 21:27Speaker 1: wanted to say, keep keep keep going, like don't we
- 21:31Speaker 1: don't have to do separate things, like you can work
- 21:34Speaker 1: and talk, can't you at the same time, do like
- 21:38Speaker 1: get in together? I mean, women are just like you know,
- 21:41Speaker 1: you're eating a hard boiled egg, feeding your dog, getting
- 21:44Speaker 1: on a plane. Like, we're doing a million things at once,
- 21:46Speaker 1: and it's it's so crazy to me that they cannot
- 21:49Speaker 1: talk and think at the same time. They can't even
- 21:51Speaker 1: fathom what we do. It's pretty fine. Oh No, I
- 21:54Speaker 1: know your mom was a big influence on you. I
- 21:56Speaker 1: know you posted something today about her and her determination
- 22:00Speaker 1: and how she inspired you and showed you what determination
- 22:04Speaker 1: looked like. So talk to me a little bit about that.
- 22:07Speaker 1: I mean, I think my mom impacted me in more
- 22:09Speaker 1: ways than I even really truly understand now, and I
- 22:13Speaker 1: think now that she's passed away, it's been a few months,
- 22:16Speaker 1: and you know, I still always reflect on what she
- 22:19Speaker 1: showed me. My mom had a stroke when she gave
- 22:22Speaker 1: birth to me, and she wasn't able to do physically
- 22:25Speaker 1: the things with me that I would have loved to
- 22:27Speaker 1: do with her, like ski She couldn't ride a bike.
- 22:30Speaker 1: The only thing she really could do what she loved
- 22:32Speaker 1: was swimming, which I'm ironically horrible at I think like
- 22:36Speaker 1: a rock. But you know, my mom always tried and
- 22:40Speaker 1: she failed, but she always tried. She would try to
- 22:43Speaker 1: ride a bike and I would watch her fall over
- 22:45Speaker 1: and over and over again, but she always got back up,
- 22:48Speaker 1: and she always tried, and she always had a smile,
- 22:51Speaker 1: and she always was positive. And even when you know,
- 22:54Speaker 1: she was in her hospital bed and she couldn't move
- 22:57Speaker 1: her arms or legs, she was positive and she said,
- 23:01Speaker 1: you know, today is another great day. And it got
- 23:04Speaker 1: harder and harder, but she never lost that perspective. And
- 23:08Speaker 1: I felt like when I was injured, I was lucky
- 23:11Speaker 1: to have the opportunity to try again. You know, my
- 23:14Speaker 1: mom didn't have that opportunity because of her stroke. So
- 23:17Speaker 1: I think throughout my career it's always given me a
- 23:20Speaker 1: different sense of gratefulness that I think, you know, sometimes
- 23:24Speaker 1: we lose sight of. I'm lucky to follow my passion
- 23:27Speaker 1: every single day. I'm lucky that I'm walking, and I'm
- 23:30Speaker 1: you know, while I hate running, I could run if
- 23:32Speaker 1: I wanted to. It could always be worse, and you know,
- 23:35Speaker 1: we just have to be positive. And that's always what
- 23:37Speaker 1: my mom taught me. And I'm very grateful for her influence.
- 23:40Speaker 1: And again, well I didn't really fully understand it when
- 23:43Speaker 1: I was growing up. I certainly understood it now, and
- 23:46Speaker 1: I wish I'd had a little more time with her
- 23:49Speaker 1: to be able to share more things with her. Yeah,
- 23:52Speaker 1: and I think you continue to understand it's a longer
- 23:54Speaker 1: where without our moms. You know, when my mom passed away,
- 23:57Speaker 1: I certainly was too young to even understand and the impact.
- 24:00Speaker 1: I remember be talking in this interview about somebody asking
- 24:03Speaker 1: me why I'm so strong, and I remember talking because
- 24:06Speaker 1: I saw the way my mother and my dad's dynamic
- 24:09Speaker 1: was and I didn't like that. And that is just
- 24:11Speaker 1: so diminishing to my mother, because my mother sacrificed so much,
- 24:15Speaker 1: you know, to be our mother to not you know,
- 24:18Speaker 1: she didn't get to live and pursue her dreams the
- 24:20Speaker 1: way that I'm able to live and pursue my dreams.
- 24:23Speaker 1: The reason I'm able to do that is because of
- 24:25Speaker 1: my mother. And so I remember I was reading this
- 24:27Speaker 1: book recently. It's called The Seven Deadly Sins. We're having
- 24:30Speaker 1: this author on She's awesome, and it just talks about
- 24:32Speaker 1: how we don't give our mothers enough credit for even
- 24:35Speaker 1: just the time that they grew up and the time
- 24:37Speaker 1: that they raised us in it was so prohibitive for them.
- 24:41Speaker 1: Yet here are people that are able to like live
- 24:44Speaker 1: out their dreams and go after what they want because
- 24:46Speaker 1: our mothers were available to give us the allowance and
- 24:50Speaker 1: the freedom to do that, and if they hadn't sacrificed
- 24:52Speaker 1: what they had. And I don't think that's even just
- 24:55Speaker 1: beginning to sink in for me. But I do feel
- 24:57Speaker 1: like we talk a lot about, you know, people who've
- 24:59Speaker 1: passed on on the show, and you know, I'm not
- 25:02Speaker 1: sure how spirittual you are, but I know that you're
- 25:05Speaker 1: open minded. And I feel like my relationship with my
- 25:09Speaker 1: mother since she died is stronger than it was when
- 25:12Speaker 1: we were together on this earth, And there are so
- 25:15Speaker 1: many moments where I just feel her presence so much
- 25:19Speaker 1: guiding me and steering me, like in this very sagacious,
- 25:23Speaker 1: worldly way, which she was not like when I was
- 25:26Speaker 1: growing up. But that's exactly who she was, according to
- 25:29Speaker 1: my brothers and sisters. I just never had the patience
- 25:32Speaker 1: or the time to find that out about my mother,
- 25:34Speaker 1: you know, because by the time she had me, she
- 25:36Speaker 1: was older. So I have to say, like, the idea
- 25:39Speaker 1: that relationships can even strengthen beyond them being here on earth,
- 25:42Speaker 1: I totally believe to be true, and I hope you
- 25:45Speaker 1: feel that too and are open to those signs and
- 25:48Speaker 1: signals and like, you know, the stillness sometimes when you
- 25:51Speaker 1: feel another person's presence is really just so powerful. Yeah,
- 25:55Speaker 1: and my mom actually lost her mom when she was
- 25:58Speaker 1: young as well, and when she was in the hospital,
- 26:01Speaker 1: she said, I want you after I'm gone, to talk
- 26:04Speaker 1: to me as if I'm there, and I will be
- 26:06Speaker 1: there and I will listen, just like my mom was
- 26:09Speaker 1: there listening to me. And it gave me a lot
- 26:12Speaker 1: of comfort. And you know, I, when I ever I
- 26:15Speaker 1: want to call her, I just I just talked to
- 26:18Speaker 1: her and she's there. Oh yeah, yeah, it's so sweet.
- 26:22Speaker 1: I believe that our moms are there. Hopefully they're hanging
- 26:25Speaker 1: out and your mom is my mom something, you know, hopefully. Yeah,
- 26:28Speaker 1: listening to the podcast right now, bla bla crying. Okay, anyway,
- 26:34Speaker 1: thank you for sharing, Thank you for being candid. I
- 26:37Speaker 1: feel like we just had this moment we did. We
- 26:39Speaker 1: were last time we saw each other. We were on
- 26:43Speaker 1: the Kelly Clarkson Show or no, was it Kelly with
- 26:47Speaker 1: Wolfgang Fuck And we were talking about her book and
- 26:51Speaker 1: she started crying, and then of course I started crying
- 26:53Speaker 1: because it's contagious, and so now we're just crying whenever
- 26:56Speaker 1: we see each other. Okay, So anyway, we're going to
- 26:58Speaker 1: take some callers, we're going to call in and we're
- 27:00Speaker 1: gonna give them some advice and we've created this episode
- 27:03Speaker 1: to suit things that you would have experience with. Yes,
- 27:07Speaker 1: and we'll take a break and grab some clean X
- 27:09Speaker 1: and be right back and we're back. Are we ready
- 27:17Speaker 1: to continue? We're doing okay? Oh yeah, okay, okay, great. Well,
- 27:22Speaker 1: our first question comes from Rachel and Denver, and she obviously,
- 27:27Speaker 1: somehow a month before we talked about getting you on
- 27:30Speaker 1: the show, knew that you were going to come on.
- 27:32Speaker 1: She manifested it. And so she says, thank you in
- 27:35Speaker 1: advance for reading my letter. I'm hoping Lindsay Vonn makes
- 27:38Speaker 1: an appearance on the podcast, so this question is written
- 27:41Speaker 1: to both Chelsea and Lindsay. Dear Chelsea and Lindsay. I'm
- 27:44Speaker 1: a thirty three year old single female living in the
- 27:46Speaker 1: Denver area of Colorado with my dog Hide. My main
- 27:50Speaker 1: hobbies are mountain biking and skiing, but I love staying
- 27:53Speaker 1: active in general. A year ago, I ended a toxic
- 27:56Speaker 1: long term relationship. Even though it was a crazy past year,
- 27:59Speaker 1: I was actually able to achieve one of my life goals,
- 28:01Speaker 1: which was buying a second house and turning both of
- 28:04Speaker 1: my houses into Airbnb's. It's been incredible to make the
- 28:08Speaker 1: leap and finally do what I've been dreaming of. Owning
- 28:11Speaker 1: and running these two businesses while still having my full
- 28:13Speaker 1: time job. Has allowed me to start saving for my
- 28:16Speaker 1: second life goal, which is to take a mini retirement
- 28:19Speaker 1: before I'm forty so I can travel the world mountain
- 28:21Speaker 1: biking and skiing. This leads me right. I love that.
- 28:26Speaker 1: This leads me to my first question, which is what
- 28:28Speaker 1: are your tips for being a single, solo female traveler.
- 28:32Speaker 1: I want to be able to make new friends and
- 28:34Speaker 1: ski and mountain bike wherever I travel too. In particular,
- 28:37Speaker 1: how can I make friends with guys who like these
- 28:39Speaker 1: activities without looking like I'm interested in them. My second
- 28:43Speaker 1: question is do you have any recommendations on a good
- 28:45Speaker 1: ski jacket and bib Combo. I've had my same ski
- 28:49Speaker 1: outfit since college and it's starting to fall apart. I
- 28:51Speaker 1: took Chelsea's advice and got some heated gloves this season.
- 28:54Speaker 1: They've been life changing, so I'm curious what ski apparel
- 28:57Speaker 1: brands you like best. I want to look good a
- 29:00Speaker 1: really warm well out there, Rachel. Okay, Well, let me
- 29:02Speaker 1: answer that last part first, because Lindsay sent me her
- 29:06Speaker 1: fucking suit, which is called core right by it. It's
- 29:09Speaker 1: by Head, but Lindsay designed it. This is the best
- 29:13Speaker 1: ski suit I have ever had. It's two pieces, but
- 29:15Speaker 1: it has it. Is it gortex or is it something
- 29:18Speaker 1: stronger than gortex? Because I think I think it's something
- 29:21Speaker 1: similar but stronger. Yeah, because I have gortex suits and
- 29:24Speaker 1: they're not like this, and I love arc terics, that's
- 29:26Speaker 1: what I usually wear. This is better than arc terics.
- 29:28Speaker 1: This not only keeps the cold the wet out, it
- 29:31Speaker 1: keeps the wind out. It's somehow fucking windproof this suit.
- 29:34Speaker 1: And Whistler has very strange weather patterns, so there's a
- 29:37Speaker 1: lot of really like Arctic blasts and it gets really cold.
- 29:40Speaker 1: Most people don't like to ski and that I love that,
- 29:43Speaker 1: but this keeps me warm and the scoot. I mean
- 29:45Speaker 1: this suit, Lindsay. Everyone stopped me. I've never worn a
- 29:48Speaker 1: suit so many days in a row, and then I
- 29:49Speaker 1: wore this suit. I know, I actually noticed that. I'm like, Wow,
- 29:52Speaker 1: she doesn't stop worrying it. She must like it because
- 29:55Speaker 1: you normally change like every single day, which I do too,
- 29:58Speaker 1: so I get it. I appreciate the support. That was
- 30:02Speaker 1: like a great that was a great ad. Just it's
- 30:05Speaker 1: just the best suit. And I'm not full of shit.
- 30:07Speaker 1: I love it so much, like I you literally wouldn't
- 30:09Speaker 1: wear it if you didn't like, yes, you do know that.
- 30:13Speaker 1: And I'll just all the details, even around the knees
- 30:15Speaker 1: like that little rouche ing and then like the bottom coughs, everything,
- 30:19Speaker 1: the pockets, everything is perfect on this jacket. And when
- 30:22Speaker 1: you ski, like you know, if you're protecting the back
- 30:24Speaker 1: of your helmet, which I learned like how to keep
- 30:26Speaker 1: you know, you always want to trap heat when it's
- 30:28Speaker 1: really cold. This suit is just like it's almost like
- 30:31Speaker 1: a NASA suit. That's how I felt like. I just
- 30:34Speaker 1: felt tougher. So everybody who anyone who's listening that wants
- 30:37Speaker 1: to ski, yeah, please look into her. Go fine. Does
- 30:41Speaker 1: it come in different colors or is that one color? Yeah?
- 30:43Speaker 1: I think it's a it's in like forest green and
- 30:46Speaker 1: baby blue and yellow and black. Oh great, Oh perfect,
- 30:50Speaker 1: that's nice. So I'll have to sign need some more
- 30:52Speaker 1: color so you can rotate instead of just having the
- 30:54Speaker 1: green every single day, although green's my favorite color, So
- 30:58Speaker 1: I do think you look great at that. Yeah, that's
- 31:00Speaker 1: a pretty color. And let me know how that knee
- 31:02Speaker 1: surgery goes. Also, because I'm interested in possibly replacing my
- 31:05Speaker 1: knees at some point both of them. Yes you should.
- 31:09Speaker 1: I mean, I know a lot of people that have
- 31:11Speaker 1: had it, and they've all raved about it. So I
- 31:14Speaker 1: am very excited. I'm always limited with what I can
- 31:17Speaker 1: do physically because of my knee, and I'm excited to
- 31:21Speaker 1: hopefully not have that in the future. Plus, you're so
- 31:24Speaker 1: good at recovering from surgeries, like this is going to
- 31:26Speaker 1: be a breeze from you. I can do my own rehab. Yeah. Okay,
- 31:30Speaker 1: So the first part of that woman's question, Yeah, so
- 31:32Speaker 1: the first part, does she get into groups and meet
- 31:35Speaker 1: guys without her thinking they're into them? I don't. Well,
- 31:37Speaker 1: that's a separate issue. The first issue. First of all,
- 31:40Speaker 1: you should join Strata if you haven't. If you're not
- 31:42Speaker 1: on Strata, because that's a great bike riding community where
- 31:45Speaker 1: you can compare speeds, meet people, talk to people who
- 31:48Speaker 1: are in the area that you're going to. If you
- 31:50Speaker 1: don't want to go on these adventures by yourself, there's
- 31:53Speaker 1: always cycling groups, you know, in my Orca. I know,
- 31:56Speaker 1: there's tons of cycling groups that you can join as
- 31:59Speaker 1: a single person and find people that are also going
- 32:01Speaker 1: to be single, so that you're never really alone traveling
- 32:04Speaker 1: because I think as a female it is more important
- 32:06Speaker 1: to always surround yourself with some people that are going
- 32:09Speaker 1: to be there, you know, whether they're friends or not.
- 32:11Speaker 1: It's just better not to be alone as a woman
- 32:12Speaker 1: in some parts of the world, like the United States.
- 32:16Speaker 1: So I would definitely do that joint strati if you're
- 32:18Speaker 1: not already on that. And all of these activities you're
- 32:22Speaker 1: talking about, whether it's skiing or whether it's biking, you
- 32:25Speaker 1: could always find these groups too. Like you know, there's
- 32:28Speaker 1: there's always like a social aspect for skiing. There's also
- 32:31Speaker 1: like Importio Chili, there's you know, groups that come down.
- 32:35Speaker 1: There's also singles women's week. You know, there's most ski
- 32:38Speaker 1: resorts have you know, either a singles week or a
- 32:41Speaker 1: women's only week. You know, there's a ton of groups
- 32:44Speaker 1: that you can travel with and meet up with, so
- 32:47Speaker 1: you're not by yourself, but you're with people that are
- 32:50Speaker 1: equally excited to do what you want to do. Yeah,
- 32:52Speaker 1: So that's the easy part. So get your ski suit,
- 32:55Speaker 1: go on your trips, join all these clubs, and then
- 32:58Speaker 1: come back with a husband or pent. Excellent. Well, our
- 33:04Speaker 1: next question comes from Miranda, and she's going to be
- 33:06Speaker 1: joining us here on the zoom. She's twenty eight. Dear Chelsea,
- 33:11Speaker 1: I'm a female golfer and constantly on the golf course
- 33:14Speaker 1: men make sexist comments toward me and my female friends.
- 33:17Speaker 1: I usually just laugh off their quote unquote jokes, but
- 33:20Speaker 1: it bothers me so much, to the point where it
- 33:22Speaker 1: negatively affects my game and my desire to get on
- 33:26Speaker 1: the course. I've asked a couple of women in my
- 33:28Speaker 1: life for advice about this, but there are never any
- 33:30Speaker 1: concrete ideas. I feel like Chelsea would have good tips
- 33:34Speaker 1: on how I can put these men in their place
- 33:36Speaker 1: or not let it affect me as much as it does.
- 33:39Speaker 1: It happens almost every round that we get paired with
- 33:41Speaker 1: older men. I absolutely love golf, but this aspect of
- 33:44Speaker 1: it fills me with such anxiety that I wonder if
- 33:46Speaker 1: continuing to play is even worth it. Miranda, Hi, Miranda, Hello,
- 33:51Speaker 1: how's it going good. Our special guest is Lindsay Vaughan,
- 33:54Speaker 1: so you have her today to give you advice as well.
- 33:57Speaker 1: How are you good? How are you good? I normally
- 34:01Speaker 1: cheer for Team Canada that I can make an exception today,
- 34:04Speaker 1: I think you'll have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all
- 34:08Speaker 1: the same anyway, you're right, You're right. Well, lindsay, do
- 34:11Speaker 1: you want to start this one? Because I feel like
- 34:13Speaker 1: you probably had a lot of experience with this kind
- 34:15Speaker 1: of thing. Yeah, I definitely have. I honestly, I enjoy it.
- 34:20Speaker 1: I use it to my advantage and I love also
- 34:23Speaker 1: self deprecation. So you know, whatever guys throw at me,
- 34:27Speaker 1: I usually make some self deprecating comment back, or you know,
- 34:32Speaker 1: I hit him with I kind of flip it around
- 34:34Speaker 1: on them, or you know, I don't know. I just
- 34:37Speaker 1: find that the more I use it as like a positive,
- 34:40Speaker 1: I always perform better. Or when I was King, when
- 34:43Speaker 1: people made fun of me, especially men, I mean, I
- 34:45Speaker 1: have been made fun of for literally everything, and I'm
- 34:48Speaker 1: still being made fun of, which is kind of insane.
- 34:51Speaker 1: Like I got comments because I was wearing a tight
- 34:54Speaker 1: one piece suit the other day and someone that I've
- 34:58Speaker 1: known for a long time made a comment about how
- 35:00Speaker 1: tight my suit was, and I was like, you know what,
- 35:03Speaker 1: the guy's just jealous. You know, he's you know, you
- 35:06Speaker 1: know they're jealous of what I have. And again I
- 35:09Speaker 1: don't take it personally, which is obviously easier said than done.
- 35:14Speaker 1: But however, you can flip it, whether it's in your
- 35:17Speaker 1: mind or it's a comment back to them, the better
- 35:21Speaker 1: and you know, you get use it to your advantage. Yeah,
- 35:25Speaker 1: that's a good point. Yeah, I like that. I like
- 35:28Speaker 1: the idea of using it to fuel you. I mean, listen,
- 35:30Speaker 1: if you're talking to me, obviously I'm just gonna go
- 35:32Speaker 1: off on that guy and they're never gonna say another
- 35:34Speaker 1: thing to me. Again, I knew that was coming. I
- 35:37Speaker 1: can't give you the language to do that, but I mean,
- 35:39Speaker 1: you just give a dish up what they're dishing up
- 35:41Speaker 1: right back at them. Because men can't handle what they
- 35:44Speaker 1: say to women. They can't handle it. They're sensitive and
- 35:47Speaker 1: they're insecure. Insecure. You wouldn't been making fun of somebody
- 35:51Speaker 1: unless you were insecure, you know what I mean, especially
- 35:53Speaker 1: when you haven't done anything to deserve that you're golfing.
- 35:57Speaker 1: I know, I feel like by me not saying anything,
- 36:00Speaker 1: it almost compromises my comfort just to almost protect theirs,
- 36:03Speaker 1: which which I hate, and the annoying thing is it
- 36:06Speaker 1: normally happens when like I normally only golf with one friend,
- 36:09Speaker 1: and when you only book a tea time for two people,
- 36:11Speaker 1: they always pair you with two other people, and it's
- 36:13Speaker 1: always two older men that are saying stuff to us
- 36:16Speaker 1: the entire time. So it's basically four hours of this.
- 36:20Speaker 1: Sometimes they're great, and sometimes the groups are horrible, and
- 36:23Speaker 1: like they say stuff to us right when we start,
- 36:25Speaker 1: and then it just puts me in a shitty mood
- 36:27Speaker 1: for the whole day. But yeah, you're right. Also, the
- 36:30Speaker 1: question is like why golf? I feel like there could
- 36:33Speaker 1: be a better sport. No, let's deconstruct this even more
- 36:42Speaker 1: playing golf. That's a good point. I took it up
- 36:44Speaker 1: during COVID. You know what you get outside, You have
- 36:46Speaker 1: some drinks, riding in a car. It's very fun and
- 36:48Speaker 1: I find it relaxing. Yeah, it sounds like you need
- 36:50Speaker 1: to make two more friends though to do it. Yeah,
- 36:52Speaker 1: you're not. Your day isn't ruined every day by these
- 36:54Speaker 1: two idiots. So A get some other friends, rope them
- 36:58Speaker 1: into golfing. Actually, A find a different sport. B. If
- 37:02Speaker 1: you're gonna stick to golfing, rope some other friends in.
- 37:04Speaker 1: So you don't have to deal with two guys you
- 37:06Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, I have done that. And see, make
- 37:09Speaker 1: sure you give it back to them, you know what
- 37:11Speaker 1: I mean. They will cower as soon as you level
- 37:13Speaker 1: it up. Men understand that the dynamic is shift. As
- 37:16Speaker 1: long as you're not saying anything, they're gonna keep going
- 37:18Speaker 1: in on you. It's like a bully. And as soon
- 37:20Speaker 1: as you turn around and say, hey, like this guy
- 37:22Speaker 1: said to me the other day, these guys invited me,
- 37:24Speaker 1: helly skiing? I said, no, my knee's really blown, like
- 37:27Speaker 1: my knee was too swollen. I go, my knee hurts.
- 37:29Speaker 1: He goes, oh, your knee hurts, like, oh yeah, And
- 37:31Speaker 1: I don't want to be seen skiing like you see.
- 37:34Speaker 1: That's good. That was over. That conversation ended and he
- 37:38Speaker 1: never came back around. If I hadn't done that, he
- 37:42Speaker 1: would have continued on and on and on. But it's
- 37:45Speaker 1: good to just kind of get some stuff in your
- 37:47Speaker 1: arsenal that you can throw back at them. And with men,
- 37:49Speaker 1: it's really not that difficult, Like you don't have to
- 37:52Speaker 1: be that prepared for what they're talking about. You know, Yeah,
- 37:55Speaker 1: you're very right. They're always the stupidest jokes too. They're
- 37:58Speaker 1: not funny at all, are all terrible. It's never it's like,
- 38:01Speaker 1: if you're gonna make a joke too, to make it
- 38:03Speaker 1: a little bit funny. Entertaining something though, it's always like
- 38:06Speaker 1: a guy puts the ball not very far and he
- 38:08Speaker 1: says to his friend like, oh, you hit that one
- 38:09Speaker 1: with your purse so stupid. Yeah, exactly, you can come
- 38:13Speaker 1: up with some good, good lines in return. Yeah, I
- 38:15Speaker 1: can come up with something better than that. But its
- 38:17Speaker 1: just I feel like it always throws me off guard
- 38:19Speaker 1: every time, which is so strange because I should be
- 38:21Speaker 1: used to it by now. Well, then you have to
- 38:22Speaker 1: get more prepared. You have to go in there more
- 38:24Speaker 1: prepared with the mission. Like today, I'm going to give
- 38:27Speaker 1: it back. I'm going to serve it right back up
- 38:28Speaker 1: to them, and just think about every woman that you
- 38:30Speaker 1: are helping by you using your voice, because the next
- 38:33Speaker 1: time they run into a woman like you, they're going
- 38:35Speaker 1: to be much less likely to harass her. So if
- 38:37Speaker 1: you need that as an extra motivation, use it. That's
- 38:41Speaker 1: a good point. And to your point, they're going to
- 38:43Speaker 1: say the same jokes every time, so you're not going
- 38:44Speaker 1: to have to come up with that many like clapbacks. Right, yeah,
- 38:48Speaker 1: next time, Oh it looks like you hit that with
- 38:50Speaker 1: your purse, you can say, well, it looks like you
- 38:52Speaker 1: hit that with one of your balls. There's lots of
- 38:55Speaker 1: old man bald jokes that you can make, or you know,
- 38:59Speaker 1: intellect jokes, or the fact that we're in the year
- 39:01Speaker 1: twenty twenty four, is it? Yeah, next year that I've
- 39:08Speaker 1: been thinking it was twenty twenty four for like two
- 39:10Speaker 1: years already. I don't know what I'm smoking, Well, we
- 39:12Speaker 1: all know what i'm smoking. Also, try smoking pot while
- 39:17Speaker 1: you're at the golf course. You won't give a shit
- 39:19Speaker 1: about anything that's true about what they're saying. You'll be
- 39:22Speaker 1: really focused on your game. Yeah. Yeah, Normally the drinking
- 39:25Speaker 1: comes into play and it makes it a little easier,
- 39:27Speaker 1: but it's just more annoying than anything. It's just irritating
- 39:30Speaker 1: that people are still saying things like this. Yeah, but
- 39:32Speaker 1: definitely don't let anyone decide like how you're going to
- 39:35Speaker 1: spend your time. You're not going to knock golf because
- 39:37Speaker 1: guys are there. You're gonna make sure that you're going
- 39:39Speaker 1: to golf, you know what I mean That you're going
- 39:40Speaker 1: to be fine when guys are around, right, as long
- 39:43Speaker 1: as I don't pick another sport before then, well yeah,
- 39:46Speaker 1: I mean try volleyball or something that seems key sports
- 39:50Speaker 1: are Okay, I got a couple of those onlock. But
- 39:51Speaker 1: you know, good for summer. It's good for summer. Oh yeah, okay, good, yeah, awesome. Well, Miranda,
- 39:58Speaker 1: please let us know what kind of come back to
- 40:00Speaker 1: come up with and how it goes next time. All right? Well,
- 40:03Speaker 1: can I say one thing before la Chelsea and Katherine.
- 40:06Speaker 1: I thought of you guys the other day because me
- 40:08Speaker 1: and my friends were on our way to a ski
- 40:09Speaker 1: trip and my friend decided she would eat her breakfast
- 40:14Speaker 1: in the car, and it consisted of hard boiled eggs,
- 40:17Speaker 1: and right before I turned around, I saw her about
- 40:19Speaker 1: to open the container, and I prevented it from happening.
- 40:21Speaker 1: But I could not believe she was going to eat
- 40:23Speaker 1: them in the car. I could not believe that the
- 40:26Speaker 1: privacy of her car of car. It was our car.
- 40:29Speaker 1: I was, my boyfriend was driving, I was in the front.
- 40:31Speaker 1: Let's catch Lindsay up on this, so she's aware of Lindsay.
- 40:34Speaker 1: It was revealed to me late last year, in twenty
- 40:38Speaker 1: twenty three, that Katherine travels regularly on planes with a
- 40:44Speaker 1: zip block bag of hard boiled eggs that have been
- 40:46Speaker 1: peeled and then and eats them because there they were
- 40:50Speaker 1: a good source of protein. I said, well, it is true. However,
- 40:55Speaker 1: they do smell like hagg eggs smell no feet. Yeah,
- 41:02Speaker 1: it smells like ass. But I think, you know, maybe
- 41:06Speaker 1: maybe eat them before you get on the plane because
- 41:08Speaker 1: they are a good source of protein. But like, spare
- 41:11Speaker 1: your seat made when you're closed vehicle. I made her
- 41:16Speaker 1: eat them in the parking while she was standing in
- 41:17Speaker 1: the parking lot eating them, because I mean, that's a fair,
- 41:20Speaker 1: that's fair. Some peanut butter or something like a peanut
- 41:23Speaker 1: butter stick, like, that's better. That's not offensive to anyone.
- 41:26Speaker 1: Everyone loves peanut butter. Almonds don't smell except the kids
- 41:30Speaker 1: that are allergic to peanut butter. On planes, Yeah, there's
- 41:33Speaker 1: many options. I flew home from from somewhere yesterday and
- 41:35Speaker 1: they put down a thing of those almonds, and I'm
- 41:37Speaker 1: just like, those are the most unappealing almonds I've ever seen.
- 41:41Speaker 1: Like I was just like what I was, just like
- 41:45Speaker 1: I just looked at them. I'm like I don't even
- 41:46Speaker 1: want one, you know, like almonds when they're hot on
- 41:48Speaker 1: a plane are good. When they don't do that and
- 41:50Speaker 1: they just throw some mix together, I'm like, no, no, no,
- 41:52Speaker 1: back the funk ups anyway, So grab your and grab
- 41:57Speaker 1: your peanut butter, don't grab your eggs. Head to the
- 42:00Speaker 1: golf course and stand up for yourself. Yes, or I
- 42:02Speaker 1: do grab my eggs and no one will go near me.
- 42:07Speaker 1: My love to your friend. I'm sure you would. You
- 42:09Speaker 1: guys get along well. Awesome, Thanks so much for calling him, Miranda.
- 42:14Speaker 1: Take care. Yeah, yeah, I don't know why anyone golfs anyway.
- 42:19Speaker 1: I find golfing to be so boring. It seems I
- 42:24Speaker 1: can confirm it's very boring. Oh right, exactly. You know
- 42:27Speaker 1: what I've been watching is that Full Swing documentary docuseries.
- 42:30Speaker 1: Do you know about this on Netflix? Oh? Yeah, it's
- 42:33Speaker 1: actually makes golf someone interesting. Yes, I was gonna say
- 42:37Speaker 1: the same thing because I was like, oh, this is
- 42:38Speaker 1: something I know nothing about. Let me watch a couple
- 42:40Speaker 1: of episodes, and it's a lot about Jordan's speeth and
- 42:43Speaker 1: they have a couple of players that are like on
- 42:46Speaker 1: the up and up. Yeah, Jordan's great. I mean, I
- 42:48Speaker 1: love Jordan. He's under arm or guy, and I've known
- 42:51Speaker 1: him for a long time. There's some I mean, there's
- 42:53Speaker 1: some good people, and I think you just don't see
- 42:56Speaker 1: their personalities when they're playing, which is why I think
- 42:59Speaker 1: others words are more engaging. But I think that this
- 43:02Speaker 1: is showing actually a good side of golf. So good
- 43:05Speaker 1: on them, and I'll break point. The Tennis one breakpoint.
- 43:09Speaker 1: I've seen a couple episodes of that. And then the
- 43:10Speaker 1: Formula one also, I haven't seen that yet because that's
- 43:14Speaker 1: I'm less interested in Formula one than I am in golf,
- 43:17Speaker 1: but I'm going to get to it because that's another
- 43:19Speaker 1: sport where I'm not paying attention and I don't know
- 43:22Speaker 1: what to be really good. Yeah, I think I thought
- 43:24Speaker 1: you would love Formula one. It's like skiing. It's speed,
- 43:27Speaker 1: it's like adrenaline. Yeah, but there's a lot of mechanics.
- 43:31Speaker 1: It's very mechanical, actually not really well the way they
- 43:34Speaker 1: talk about cars and the pit. I like the attitude
- 43:37Speaker 1: and the strategy and the winning championship vibe. I love that.
- 43:41Speaker 1: You know what It is also great about full swing
- 43:44Speaker 1: is it's great to see the ebb and flow of
- 43:47Speaker 1: a career because you're never at your height all the time.
- 43:50Speaker 1: There's highs and there's lows, and it's always like the
- 43:53Speaker 1: underdog that comes in, you know, and wins when you
- 43:56Speaker 1: least expect it. And the people that have been revered
- 43:59Speaker 1: or celebrate to the most always end up not forever,
- 44:02Speaker 1: but they always dip and they have their troubles too,
- 44:05Speaker 1: So it's never like just some static road where it's
- 44:09Speaker 1: just an ascent, you know what I mean. It's honestly
- 44:11Speaker 1: really cool because it's kind of like every athlete has
- 44:14Speaker 1: their own little mini documentary and to your point of
- 44:18Speaker 1: ebbs and flows, no career in any sport, I don't
- 44:21Speaker 1: care who you are, is always at the top, and
- 44:24Speaker 1: I think it humanizes athletes and shows you how hard
- 44:27Speaker 1: it is to be consistently at the top. I mean again,
- 44:32Speaker 1: no one's at the top forever, but to be able
- 44:35Speaker 1: to come back every time you go down is really hard.
- 44:39Speaker 1: So I love these little shows. I mean again, they're
- 44:41Speaker 1: like mini documentaries for every athlete, and it gives every
- 44:45Speaker 1: athlete a lot more credit because honestly, most people don't
- 44:48Speaker 1: quite understand the difficulty. Yeah, and it's not you know,
- 44:52Speaker 1: there's a lot of similarities. You know, in my business,
- 44:56Speaker 1: there are dips, and there are valleys, and there are struggles,
- 44:58Speaker 1: and it is exactly how you behave in those moments
- 45:01Speaker 1: that make you a champion. You know, it's how you
- 45:03Speaker 1: pick yourself back up and how you succeed again after
- 45:06Speaker 1: you've fallen or you've failed or what you deem as
- 45:09Speaker 1: failure or you haven't placed. It's very inspiring to watch
- 45:12Speaker 1: these kinds of shows because it's just it's really about
- 45:15Speaker 1: it's a commentary on life and you know, competitiveness, and
- 45:19Speaker 1: I mean, there aren't a lot of industries or businesses
- 45:21Speaker 1: that you don't have some aspect of competitiveness in there.
- 45:24Speaker 1: Absolutely not until totally agree. Well, our next question comes
- 45:34Speaker 1: from Lana, and this is a bit of a relationship question.
- 45:39Speaker 1: I'm twenty four and I've been with my boyfriend for
- 45:41Speaker 1: three and a half years. This summer, we'll be moving
- 45:43Speaker 1: in together for the first time in a new city
- 45:45Speaker 1: with new jobs. Within the next year or so, I
- 45:48Speaker 1: expect to be engaged to him. Our dynamic has always
- 45:51Speaker 1: been the same. I'm very affectionate, both physically and verbally.
- 45:55Speaker 1: I've been told it's like I don't leave the honeymoon phase.
- 45:57Speaker 1: And he's always kind, caring, supporting me emotionally, showing up
- 46:01Speaker 1: for me, helping me whenever I ask, and taking me
- 46:04Speaker 1: out on nice dates. He just doesn't express to me
- 46:07Speaker 1: verbally how he feels. He'll tell me he loves me
- 46:09Speaker 1: when I say goodbye or when I prompt it, but
- 46:12Speaker 1: usually no sweet words come unprompted. I'm not one hundred
- 46:16Speaker 1: percent sure what's triggering this now, but recently I've been
- 46:19Speaker 1: feeling insecure about how we display our love to each
- 46:21Speaker 1: other and how it feels disproportionate to me. The perfect
- 46:25Speaker 1: partner would be able to show their love through all
- 46:27Speaker 1: love languages because they want to gift giving verbal affection,
- 46:31Speaker 1: physical affection, acts of service are all things I provide
- 46:34Speaker 1: when I truly and deeply love someone without having to
- 46:37Speaker 1: think about it. Is this an unrealistic view to expect
- 46:40Speaker 1: the same. I've talked to him about this, and he
- 46:43Speaker 1: says my feelings are valid, that he's always felt I
- 46:45Speaker 1: have more affection toward him than he has for me.
- 46:48Speaker 1: This hurt to hear, but he assures me that he
- 46:50Speaker 1: loves me and is in love with me. He just
- 46:53Speaker 1: doesn't feel affection for anyone as deeply as I do.
- 46:56Speaker 1: He told me that he used to feel very deeply
- 46:58Speaker 1: growing up, but that changed going through painful heartbreaks and
- 47:01Speaker 1: dealing with a close loss as a young adult. Is
- 47:04Speaker 1: it wrong for me to find this outlook sad and
- 47:06Speaker 1: to want more from him in terms of verbal and
- 47:09Speaker 1: physical affection even though he checks all the other boxes.
- 47:12Speaker 1: I'm torn because I know I can find many men
- 47:14Speaker 1: who will say sweet things to me, but they don't
- 47:17Speaker 1: actually care. Is it just an insecurity on my part,
- 47:20Speaker 1: needing to know how he truly feels because of the
- 47:22Speaker 1: next steps will be taking soon? Lana Hi laa hi, Hi?
- 47:28Speaker 1: How are you? I'm doing you and you are twenty four?
- 47:31Speaker 1: You said right, yes, I am okay. So the only
- 47:34Speaker 1: thing that struck me in your letter if you hadn't
- 47:37Speaker 1: said this part, which was he used to be affectionate
- 47:39Speaker 1: with other people and then he got his heartbroken, which
- 47:42Speaker 1: is the reason he's giving you for not having as
- 47:45Speaker 1: much affection as you. Is kind of like, oh, so
- 47:48Speaker 1: he has the capability, but he's chosen to shut down
- 47:51Speaker 1: rather than open up. So that doesn't make a lot
- 47:54Speaker 1: of sense because if he really felt like you were
- 47:56Speaker 1: the one and you guys are supposed to be together,
- 47:57Speaker 1: I would imagine that that would be broast open again,
- 48:00Speaker 1: you don't really we don't really have control over who
- 48:02Speaker 1: we fall over. That aside, it does sound like you're
- 48:05Speaker 1: expecting from him what you're giving out, and that's not
- 48:08Speaker 1: a fair thing to do in a relationship. You can't
- 48:11Speaker 1: expect the partner to give you what you want to give,
- 48:14Speaker 1: or that your partner is going to be great at all.
- 48:16Speaker 1: Four love languages, Like, that's just not realistic at all.
- 48:19Speaker 1: If I can interject, there are five love languages, and
- 48:23Speaker 1: the one that you left out, Lana was quality time,
- 48:26Speaker 1: which is the thing that he is really giving you,
- 48:28Speaker 1: and that maybe the way he expresses his love languages.
- 48:32Speaker 1: Started interrupt. No, I'm glad you did. I mean, I
- 48:35Speaker 1: had no idea there were five because I haven't read
- 48:37Speaker 1: that fucking book. I've only heard about it NonStop for
- 48:39Speaker 1: the last ten years. That's the thing is I think
- 48:42Speaker 1: everybody hears like the Instagram snippets of it. Oh, I'm
- 48:45Speaker 1: figuring the four agreements that got it. But yeah, you
- 48:50Speaker 1: know the thing about the love languages is it's about
- 48:53Speaker 1: finding out what each person's actually is and expressing love
- 48:57Speaker 1: to them through that, Like maybe yours is more heavily
- 49:01Speaker 1: These verbal little sweet things that he might say and
- 49:04Speaker 1: his maybe quality time. So it's just a mismatch and
- 49:07Speaker 1: figuring out how to encourage him to give you what
- 49:11Speaker 1: you need and you to give him what he needs. Okay,
- 49:14Speaker 1: is it wrong to like specifically ask for that? Like
- 49:17Speaker 1: That's what I've been doing in the past few weeks
- 49:20Speaker 1: because I wrote in this email after we had like
- 49:22Speaker 1: a little bit of not an argument, but a discussion,
- 49:25Speaker 1: and then I kind of circled back to him later
- 49:27Speaker 1: after I kind of decompressed, and I was kind of saying, like,
- 49:32Speaker 1: growing up, I didn't get verbal affection or physical affection
- 49:36Speaker 1: for my parents, and just thinking about living my whole
- 49:39Speaker 1: life not getting that is like really sad. So I've
- 49:44Speaker 1: been just asking for it, like, hey, like when you're done,
- 49:47Speaker 1: can you come here and like give me a cuddle
- 49:50Speaker 1: or something cuddle me. I don't know if that's not
- 49:52Speaker 1: romantic or if that's like being needy. It's communicating what
- 49:57Speaker 1: you need from your partner, and I think that's great
- 50:00Speaker 1: and what if he's not able to deliver it though? Right?
- 50:03Speaker 1: And there have been times recently where he has been
- 50:06Speaker 1: so stressed out with being on the job market and
- 50:08Speaker 1: everything where he has been like, I'm not really in
- 50:11Speaker 1: the mood to be really affectionate right now. I'll spend
- 50:14Speaker 1: time with you and we'll have dinner together, but I'm
- 50:17Speaker 1: not going to be as loving as you want me
- 50:18Speaker 1: to be right now. And I think as long as
- 50:21Speaker 1: that's communicated, I'm okay with that. But it is still
- 50:24Speaker 1: kind of hard to be like, well, what if what
- 50:27Speaker 1: if there is a perfect person where he would act
- 50:29Speaker 1: this way towards Well, first of all, there's no perfect person,
- 50:33Speaker 1: Like there's no one that's going to do all the
- 50:35Speaker 1: love languages, and that's perfect. But at the same time,
- 50:39Speaker 1: if you're communicating what you need to him and he's
- 50:41Speaker 1: not able to give that to you, you're young. You
- 50:45Speaker 1: can't spend the rest of your life feeling like you
- 50:48Speaker 1: need something else. So I think if there's that hole,
- 50:51Speaker 1: and I felt it before myself, if you're not if
- 50:55Speaker 1: you have needs that aren't being met and that's just
- 50:57Speaker 1: the character of the person that you're with it, then
- 51:00Speaker 1: it's just a mismatch, you know. And again, you're really young.
- 51:04Speaker 1: It's fine to move on and start over, but if
- 51:08Speaker 1: you live a hole and as not being filled, that's
- 51:10Speaker 1: never going to get filled. You're never going to change someone.
- 51:12Speaker 1: If they can't do what you're you're needing them to do,
- 51:16Speaker 1: then it's just not going to work. Yeah, Like I
- 51:19Speaker 1: want to say, I am a little bit like I
- 51:22Speaker 1: think your boyfriend and I have been in relationships with
- 51:26Speaker 1: people who have been very needy of affection and time
- 51:29Speaker 1: and like lots of cuddling and kissing, and I can
- 51:33Speaker 1: give only so much. Like it's not a reflection of
- 51:36Speaker 1: how I feel about them, it's a reflection of like,
- 51:38Speaker 1: I'm very comfortable in my own space and in my
- 51:41Speaker 1: own skin, and when I'm needed like that. You know,
- 51:44Speaker 1: if I wanted to be needed like that, I would
- 51:46Speaker 1: have become a mother, Like I don't. I don't like
- 51:49Speaker 1: when I feel needed, so I can kind of relate
- 51:51Speaker 1: to you know, it's just a different set of importance
- 51:55Speaker 1: around you, like what I value. I also don't like gifts,
- 51:57Speaker 1: Like I don't care if I ever get a gift
- 51:59Speaker 1: in the world, and it doesn't matter to me. Those
- 52:01Speaker 1: things don't matter. So I'm about like I like time spet.
- 52:04Speaker 1: That's how I spend time with my friends, my family,
- 52:06Speaker 1: everyone I love. Is about quality time. So I think,
- 52:10Speaker 1: you know, there's two sides of this argument. I think
- 52:12Speaker 1: you are really young, twenty four years old. I really
- 52:16Speaker 1: think you probably are going to want some more experiences
- 52:18Speaker 1: in your life, like as you. I know that's probably
- 52:21Speaker 1: not how you're feeling right now, but it's really the
- 52:23Speaker 1: truth of the matter. From three women who are older
- 52:25Speaker 1: than you, You're gonna want a little bit more experience.
- 52:29Speaker 1: It's like she's not getting what she needs, so she
- 52:30Speaker 1: has to ask what she needs. Also, you have to
- 52:32Speaker 1: respect that this person isn't built like you. You don't
- 52:34Speaker 1: have the same brain, you don't have the same likes, dislikes,
- 52:37Speaker 1: all of that. So I think it's somewhere in the middle.
- 52:40Speaker 1: You know, you have to kind of figure out, like
- 52:42Speaker 1: what's make or break? How often do you need a hug?
- 52:44Speaker 1: And if you do really need that all the time,
- 52:47Speaker 1: then you should find someone who's going to give it
- 52:48Speaker 1: to you. Right, And back to the point where I said,
- 52:52Speaker 1: he was saying that he used to be like really
- 52:54Speaker 1: loving in relationships. That was also back in high school.
- 52:59Speaker 1: So I don't know if that's like a fair comparison,
- 53:01Speaker 1: because he was saying, Oh, I was getting all this
- 53:03Speaker 1: advice from girls to text my girlfriend I love you
- 53:07Speaker 1: every day and good night, gorgeous, and he obviously figured
- 53:11Speaker 1: out that's not what you're supposed to do. So I
- 53:13Speaker 1: don't know if it's really like trauma why he's closed off,
- 53:16Speaker 1: or it's just him growing up. But I do think
- 53:20Speaker 1: it would be good for him to kind of go
- 53:23Speaker 1: to a therapist and explore that, because I don't know
- 53:27Speaker 1: if he's really explored that. She meant that he also
- 53:30Speaker 1: had a loss of someone close to him as well. Yeah,
- 53:33Speaker 1: I mean he could, that could be it. I mean,
- 53:35Speaker 1: but you know, is he going to go to therapy?
- 53:36Speaker 1: Is he open to that? Like? Have you discussed that?
- 53:39Speaker 1: I have discussed that he thinks that he is generally
- 53:43Speaker 1: okay and he's like the strong one for all the
- 53:46Speaker 1: other people in his life, and that he would be
- 53:49Speaker 1: open to therapy if something bad happened or something traumatic happened.
- 53:53Speaker 1: But I'm of the belief that anyone could use therapy
- 53:56Speaker 1: at all times. So I don't know if you can
- 53:59Speaker 1: really convince someone of going to therapy without them feeling
- 54:02Speaker 1: they need to. No, and there's no point, like, there's
- 54:05Speaker 1: no point in forcing somebody to go to therapy. It
- 54:07Speaker 1: has to be their idea, otherwise they're not going to
- 54:08Speaker 1: absorb anything that they're going there for. Right. I almost
- 54:12Speaker 1: thought about, you know, now that we're getting super serious,
- 54:15Speaker 1: I am going to be moving to a whole different
- 54:17Speaker 1: state with him. We've been together for four years and
- 54:20Speaker 1: so now it's like finally becoming real. Like if I
- 54:23Speaker 1: do this move with him, next step in a few
- 54:26Speaker 1: years is maybe getting engaged. And I was thinking, well,
- 54:29Speaker 1: maybe I should say, like, if I'm going to get
- 54:32Speaker 1: married to you, I want you to be open to therapy.
- 54:35Speaker 1: But I don't know if that's a fair ultimatum. I
- 54:37Speaker 1: think that's fair. I mean, we live in twenty twenty
- 54:39Speaker 1: three or sometimes twenty twenty four. You know, have you
- 54:42Speaker 1: tried golfing? He actually used to be on the golf team.
- 54:47Speaker 1: Oh okay, well he's tried it. We just had a
- 54:49Speaker 1: golfer call in. So there's some similarities here. Well not
- 54:52Speaker 1: very many actually, but I just thought golfing was something
- 54:55Speaker 1: that I should bring up again. As far as the
- 54:57Speaker 1: therapy goes, maybe it's you two going together. Maybe there's
- 55:00Speaker 1: something there. Maybe it's not just like you have to go. Yeah,
- 55:03Speaker 1: it's good to get a third person involved in this,
- 55:05Speaker 1: because I don't want to qualify you as needy because
- 55:07Speaker 1: you're saying what you want, which is good, but you
- 55:09Speaker 1: might be coming across as needy and that might be
- 55:12Speaker 1: rubbing him the wrong way, and then you're creating like
- 55:14Speaker 1: a chasm. So it's like if he could modify his
- 55:17Speaker 1: behavior a little bit and you could modify yours and
- 55:19Speaker 1: meet in the middle, which would be like what would
- 55:21Speaker 1: happen in therapy, ideally as somebody saying, Okay, this is
- 55:24Speaker 1: you got to compromise. Then I feel like you would
- 55:26Speaker 1: have more of a like workable dynamic instead of you
- 55:30Speaker 1: feeling ignored or slighted. You know, I feel like that
- 55:34Speaker 1: might be a good option for you to bring up. Yeah,
- 55:37Speaker 1: especially since you're moving, that's a perfect excuse. We're moving
- 55:40Speaker 1: to a new state. We've never lived here before. There's
- 55:42Speaker 1: gonna be lots of pressure, there's gonna be lots of opportunity.
- 55:45Speaker 1: I want to stay grounded, and I would love to
- 55:47Speaker 1: have like a way for us to just make sure
- 55:49Speaker 1: we're always ahead of our problems. You know, therapy is
- 55:52Speaker 1: great when you're going through something, but it's even better
- 55:54Speaker 1: when you have the tools before you go through that.
- 55:57Speaker 1: So hang it your hat on that and make it
- 55:59Speaker 1: couch it in and then when you get in there,
- 56:01Speaker 1: you can get into these issues. That's actually really you're smart, Chelse. Yeah,
- 56:06Speaker 1: I think so too. Right in this moment, I was like, Wow,
- 56:08Speaker 1: why don't you think of that earlier? Brilliant? Great, Yeah,
- 56:11Speaker 1: problem solved. Awesome, Well, Lana, let us know how it goes.
- 56:15Speaker 1: Let us know how the move goes as well. Yeah,
- 56:18Speaker 1: we'll do. I really like your idea, Chelsea, because we're
- 56:20Speaker 1: also going to be living together for the first time,
- 56:23Speaker 1: so that's also yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't want to
- 56:27Speaker 1: screw this up, you want to succeed blah blah blah blah.
- 56:30Speaker 1: Let's go to therapy, right for sure. I like that idea. Well,
- 56:34Speaker 1: thanks so much for your suggestion. Yeah, yeah, absolutely awesome. Well,
- 56:39Speaker 1: letting hawk goes. Okay, take care of Lata, good luck. Oh,
- 56:44Speaker 1: she's a baby. I know I wanted to go break
- 56:47Speaker 1: up with him, like, fucking it's your twenty four you
- 56:49Speaker 1: need to find a new boyfriend. I wanted to be
- 56:51Speaker 1: like we all felt so needy at twenty four, Like,
- 56:54Speaker 1: I know, I know, I married two bad Oh shit,
- 56:57Speaker 1: I always forget you were married. It's so weird. You know,
- 57:00Speaker 1: we don't need to talk about it. But you know,
- 57:02Speaker 1: I always want to say whenever anyone in their twenties
- 57:05Speaker 1: ask me for advice, I'm like, whatever, you just don't
- 57:07Speaker 1: get married. Yeah, exactly, I mean twenty four year so needy.
- 57:11Speaker 1: I used to I had a boyfriend. I remember who
- 57:13Speaker 1: I was talking to over this weekend actually because he
- 57:15Speaker 1: was texting me, and I used to beg him like
- 57:17Speaker 1: I would be like, I wanted to sleep at his
- 57:18Speaker 1: house every night. He lived up the street from me
- 57:20Speaker 1: in Santa Monica, and I would go over there every night.
- 57:23Speaker 1: And I remember once he was like, Hey, do you
- 57:25Speaker 1: have to sleep over every single night? And I was like, yeah,
- 57:28Speaker 1: I'm your girlfriend obviously. You know, now, as I'm sitting
- 57:31Speaker 1: here as a forty eight year old woman, I'm like, oh,
- 57:35Speaker 1: how annoying you know, to not be able to go, Oh,
- 57:38Speaker 1: sure you need space, let me I will sleep over
- 57:41Speaker 1: a few nights a week. That if you know, when
- 57:42Speaker 1: somebody asks you for space, you have to fucking respect
- 57:45Speaker 1: that and give them double like, let let them have
- 57:48Speaker 1: their space. So yeah, I think there's a there's a
- 57:51Speaker 1: neediness that comes in your twenties. You really want this
- 57:53Speaker 1: fairy tale that you think is going to happen. There
- 57:56Speaker 1: is no fairy tale. It's like going to the Eiffel Tower.
- 57:59Speaker 1: I went with my boyfriend and when I was twenty
- 58:01Speaker 1: one to Paris, and I just had this vision of
- 58:03Speaker 1: like what our trip was going to be like. And
- 58:05Speaker 1: he was British and I was still American and I
- 58:09Speaker 1: was twenty one, he was thirty four. And we went
- 58:11Speaker 1: to London and we stayed in a hotel room and
- 58:13Speaker 1: the bathroom was inside the bedroom. There was no separate bathroom,
- 58:18Speaker 1: and I was like, this is not how Yeah. Yeah.
- 58:23Speaker 1: We didn't speak the entire trip to Paris. There were
- 58:27Speaker 1: pictures of me alone at the Eiffel Tower and him
- 58:29Speaker 1: alone at the Eiffel Tower, and the Louver and every
- 58:31Speaker 1: other thing that you saw, and the Chaste Laison because
- 58:34Speaker 1: Princess di had just died there, and the Plaza Athnit
- 58:37Speaker 1: just us not speaking because I was so disappointed in
- 58:41Speaker 1: this fantasy that I had created in my mind that
- 58:44Speaker 1: had never shown proof of life, you know what I mean.
- 58:48Speaker 1: It's just a yeah, there's no I mean, we just
- 58:51Speaker 1: were not as fantastical. When we're older, we get it, Yeah,
- 58:55Speaker 1: just more real. We've been disappointed enough. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
- 58:59Speaker 1: Well it's like a quick break and we'll get back
- 59:01Speaker 1: to wrap up. And we're back with Lindsey, Vonn and
- 59:08Speaker 1: Catherine to wrap up today's episode, which was good. This
- 59:12Speaker 1: was a great episode. Yeah, absolutely, Okay, good advice. Lindsay
- 59:16Speaker 1: gave good advice. Lindsay, you look fucking beautiful, by the way, ridiculous.
- 59:20Speaker 1: I was just sitting there looking at you, going, wow,
- 59:22Speaker 1: you're looking real good. Yeah. Yeah, this, this lovely hotel
- 59:29Speaker 1: is really making me glow over here. All Orlando hotels
- 59:32Speaker 1: are beautiful, so pretty well, Lindsay, is there any advice
- 59:36Speaker 1: you'd like from Chelsea? Yeah? Do you want any skiing
- 59:38Speaker 1: advice for me? Lindsay? Yes? How do you ski so
- 59:42Speaker 1: damn while? Chelsea in your bikini? I've always wanted how
- 59:46Speaker 1: do you like not freeze your tits off? Like That's
- 59:49Speaker 1: what I want to know, because that I can't even
- 59:51Speaker 1: handle being in my ski clothes, let alone like basically naked.
- 59:55Speaker 1: But that's not my question. That was just something I'm
- 59:58Speaker 1: curious about. But my actual is how do you because
- 1:00:01Speaker 1: you love skiing and obviously I love skiing, but you
- 1:00:05Speaker 1: work so hard, how do you manage both things? Like?
- 1:00:08Speaker 1: How do you manage getting time to do what you love,
- 1:00:11Speaker 1: and how do you manage being a boss. I just
- 1:00:14Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, if I don't get to ski for
- 1:00:16Speaker 1: a good solid two months a year, then I'm not
- 1:00:19Speaker 1: worth anything the rest of the year. So I will
- 1:00:21Speaker 1: work all summer long, I'll tour and I'll do that stuff,
- 1:00:25Speaker 1: and then I have to have my time to ski
- 1:00:27Speaker 1: because it's just so important for me. It's my only
- 1:00:30Speaker 1: real passion besides what I do and reading books and stuff, like,
- 1:00:34Speaker 1: I love skiing. You know, the way you talk about
- 1:00:36Speaker 1: it is the way I feel about it. I always
- 1:00:38Speaker 1: want to be on the mountain. I always want to
- 1:00:39Speaker 1: get up, and I mean my friends call it like
- 1:00:42Speaker 1: they're just like, you're so ridiculous. Like I'm outside my
- 1:00:44Speaker 1: door waiting for them to come get me. Well before
- 1:00:47Speaker 1: we go to the and I've got my outfit on,
- 1:00:49Speaker 1: like I've got everything reading, my gloves, my skis, and
- 1:00:52Speaker 1: my phone, and I'm just sitting there waiting at the
- 1:00:54Speaker 1: ski lift. Like at the you know, we walk to
- 1:00:56Speaker 1: the little run and I'm just like an eager beaver,
- 1:00:59Speaker 1: and they're like, you're just so excited. I'm like, yeah,
- 1:01:01Speaker 1: I'd like to go out at eight thirty and get
- 1:01:02Speaker 1: like three or four runs before anyone else comes out,
- 1:01:05Speaker 1: and then I like to ski with my friends. But
- 1:01:07Speaker 1: I feel like we talked about this earlier or the
- 1:01:10Speaker 1: other episode, you know. I think for when you're in
- 1:01:14Speaker 1: the public eye and the way that we both are,
- 1:01:16Speaker 1: there's so much attention on you, and your life is
- 1:01:17Speaker 1: so much about you, and you're so self involved that
- 1:01:21Speaker 1: it's it's so necessary to actually have other interests that
- 1:01:24Speaker 1: don't require it being about you. So for you, it
- 1:01:28Speaker 1: would probably be something other than skiing to do that
- 1:01:31Speaker 1: doesn't remind you of the main event in your life.
- 1:01:35Speaker 1: And I always make sure that I take myself out
- 1:01:37Speaker 1: of my comfort zone and I'm trying different things so
- 1:01:39Speaker 1: that I remain normal, like a human being that's constantly
- 1:01:43Speaker 1: growing and evolving and not just spinning around in this
- 1:01:46Speaker 1: little hubris that is our lives. Yeah, okay, that's a
- 1:01:50Speaker 1: good point. I mean, I played tennis. I love tennis.
- 1:01:53Speaker 1: It's what about golf? Have you thought about golfing? I
- 1:01:56Speaker 1: think you should take up golf. That feels like the
- 1:01:58Speaker 1: missing hole, so many puns in that, so many How
- 1:02:04Speaker 1: do you also manage to change the subject? How do
- 1:02:07Speaker 1: you also manage being away from your dogs. Well, I
- 1:02:11Speaker 1: mean that's just out of good parenting. It's better that
- 1:02:14Speaker 1: they're not with me in Whistler because they like to
- 1:02:17Speaker 1: be at home in LA where they can go in
- 1:02:18Speaker 1: and out of the house. They just prefer that, and
- 1:02:21Speaker 1: I took them to Whistler and they're just too old
- 1:02:23Speaker 1: for that. So the next round of dogs I get,
- 1:02:26Speaker 1: I will make sure they're younger and they're more adept,
- 1:02:29Speaker 1: and then I will bring them to Whistler. But I'm
- 1:02:31Speaker 1: just trying not to torture them because last time I
- 1:02:33Speaker 1: brought them they were like, what is snow? I'm pretty
- 1:02:35Speaker 1: sure they're from Mexico because everything is pointing to that.
- 1:02:39Speaker 1: They only understand my bell and they like hot, warm weather,
- 1:02:43Speaker 1: so I think that they're Yeah, I think they're from
- 1:02:45Speaker 1: South America. Any one of these mountain dogs that like
- 1:02:48Speaker 1: just wants to live in the snow maybe needs like
- 1:02:50Speaker 1: a I need a part time dog for the winter,
- 1:02:52Speaker 1: and then I need a dog for summer. That's what
- 1:02:54Speaker 1: I need to do to split my time up. Thank you,
- 1:02:57Speaker 1: Lindsay for taking the time to do this. I really
- 1:02:58Speaker 1: appreciate it. You know, I love you, and I hope
- 1:03:01Speaker 1: you have a great rest of your day in Orlando.
- 1:03:03Speaker 1: I think it's going to really be balls to the wall.
- 1:03:06Speaker 1: I mean, well, maybe I was hit a Disneyland will
- 1:03:08Speaker 1: I'm at it. Yeah, nothing better than an adult going
- 1:03:11Speaker 1: to Disneyland with no children exactly creepy at all. Well,
- 1:03:16Speaker 1: thank you, I love you and I appreciate it you
- 1:03:18Speaker 1: having me on. Yeah, thank you so much. We'll speak soon, Lindsey,
- 1:03:21Speaker 1: Bye bye, and don't forget everybody. My new special Revolution
- 1:03:26Speaker 1: is now streaming on Netflix and it's badass. And then
- 1:03:30Speaker 1: I'm doing a tour, a little Big Bitch tour. Go
- 1:03:33Speaker 1: to Chelsea Hamma dot com for tickets. I've added some
- 1:03:35Speaker 1: new dates. I added a date in Monticello, New York.
- 1:03:37Speaker 1: I'm coming to Colorado to Red Rocks Amphitheater. I'm coming
- 1:03:41Speaker 1: to Klamazoo, and then I'm coming to a bunch of
- 1:03:43Speaker 1: places in Tennessee, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. That's May nineteenth, twentieth,
- 1:03:48Speaker 1: and twenty first, and then I'll be in Atlantic City
- 1:03:51Speaker 1: June tenth, which is almost still doubt So get your tickets.
- 1:03:54Speaker 1: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
- 1:03:56Speaker 1: at Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com and be
- 1:03:59Speaker 1: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
- 1:04:02Speaker 1: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Katherine Law and
- 1:04:06Speaker 1: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
- 1:04:09Speaker 1: com