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The Person I Needed Five Years Ago · Ok But Are You Good?

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there, I'm your host Corinne, and this is Okay But Are You Good?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Where we check in ourselves on a weekly basis to see how we're doing.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Are we living our best lives or are we just trying to get by?
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Another week, we're making it through, we're still going strong, and I hope you are too.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, that rhymed.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so today we're gonna dive in and go back a couple years.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to think back to who you were five years ago.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't know about you, but I am not the same person I was, and it's for the better.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: But think back to five years ago.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Where were you living?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: What job were you working?
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: What did you think your life would look like today?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because in theory, five years ago, that doesn't really seem like that long, but so much time has passed.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And when you really sit down and think about it, like a lot has changed.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Unless you really are doing the same thing every single day, then maybe not, but you're that 1%.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've been listening to these last like couple weeks of episodes, things have been good.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, wow, I finally like woke up one day and felt like you have your life together.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: You are exactly where you want to be.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it kind of just hit me that I've spent so much time worrying about the future and all the what ifs and all the overthinking that I never realized that I've become the person I've been working towards.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I've spent so much time worrying and thinking about the future that I never realized I became the person I was looking for.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that hits really close to home.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, wow, like you made it and you did it with your you I did it on my own.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, there's been help, but like at the end of the day, you only got yourself, right?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I I got myself where I am right now because I've been working towards being happy, healthier, just feeling at peace.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, okay, one day you're gonna get there.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Just like keep going.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I was hit by a truck and I like woke up and realized like you are here right now.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you just like slow down and stop worrying so much about what hasn't happened yet.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And like that that question of like, what if it all works out?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, really just like awoken something in me.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: It just helps those moments when you have an outside perspective to just like bring you to reality.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, oh my gosh, like, hi, yes, welcome.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: You are you are where you're supposed to be, love.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it's taken, you know, I think a lot of hard hits to reality to like get to where I'm at.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I've just I've realized like I've made it and I'm gonna keep going.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And just with time, I became the person I've been wanting to become, or I wanted to be five years ago, probably even longer, if I'm being honest.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: But this is what I want to talk about today is is how I am the person I needed five years ago.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get into it.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, time, time heals everything, it helps you grow, it helps you just like learn things that you didn't think you'd have time for.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Just time heals all, right?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're in the thick of it of living your life, great or not, like things change slowly because you just don't wake up one day a completely different person.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this isn't a movie, unfortunately.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe you woke up one day and just decided you to never look back.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, it's day by day, week by week, hoping for the best.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Used to be expecting the worst, but now we know things will work out the way they're supposed to, and we'll handle it because I always picture life like you're gonna go down one road or the next, and it's just gonna torpedo after that of like how your life's gonna be, you know, and you I feel like you could backtrack in some sense.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like if this same opportunity presented itself to you again and you you went down one road, so like I guess I'd pick the other out.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: You just never know how life's gonna be, but you make the best decision for yourself at the time because that's what's in your control.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And like we keep going, we keep working towards whatever our goals, our ambitions are, whatever responsibilities we just have to do, because that's just life, right?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: We all have stuff we have to do all the time.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And when you take a step back and realize, like, oh wow, like five years ago, things are totally different.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: That like you worked and lived your life to be where you're at today.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And like you are not the same person you were five years ago.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you are and you are happy, amazing.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're still not happy, like this is your sign to like get up and like be in charge of your own life and your own destiny, and like nothing's gonna change if you don't put in the work and the effort and the time.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because for me, five years ago, I was living in San Francisco, I was working a different job.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: I still have the same friends.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I had to think about that.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: I do still have the same friends.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have the same husband, same family.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's half and half the same and different.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: But five years ago, I really was like working to be who I am today.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: I at my job, we always would set up like urine goals that were work-related, but also personal.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when I really started my mental and physical health journey.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: I worked with people that were really into fitness and like wanting to be healthy.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: So that like motivated me to like get into Pilates and San Francisco has so many great like workout classes.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: They have rumble there, the boxing.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's so fun.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I was really just trying to get by.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I I knew that that life I was living was temporary.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: I just didn't know how for like how long.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say temporary, it's because I knew I was gonna move back to SoCal eventually.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I just never knew when, but it that was like the long-term goal.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I was worried about the future.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: I was worried about like when I was gonna get married, how my family's health was gonna be, what my career was gonna look like.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely still had anxiety, so that that didn't change, unfortunately.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: It probably got worse in the last five years.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And life after graduation, even though that was like longer than five years ago, I did I really thought it would look different.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I did the best I could with my resources, with my experience, and like it worked out.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: It got me to where I am today, but I had no real expectation once I realized I wasn't going to be a therapist because I didn't want to go to school for it.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I do regret that decision.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: I still could change paths, I guess, but I don't know if that's what I want to do.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think my goal right is still to help people in whatever capacity that I can, which is this podcast, I guess.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, five years ago, I don't think I would have had a podcast, but this has healed me.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I I like looking back to old episodes to like where I am today, it's like, wow, like this has really helped me grow as a person.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so grateful for it.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm grateful to have you here listening.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so happy where I'm at, where I am today.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm so glad I'm surrounded by people that are ambitious and goal-oriented, that are focused on their mental and physical health and their career because who you surround your yourself with is who you're going to become.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I know that helped me to get to where I am today.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: I duh, I think me five years ago, would not have thought I'd be where I am today.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: There's no way she would have thought that I'd be running a marathon and keep running, that I'd be here recording a weekly podcast, that I'd have my own thing.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be traveling as much as I've had and exploring new places and still like having that be a goal to experience life from other people's perspectives and worlds.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: That I'd be living this life I built with my husband.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like I knew I would have it, but I just like wouldn't believe, like, oh my gosh, like it's here.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like you made it to this point in your life that you've been looking forward to for so long.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, it's the best.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I I guess finally, like, all this hard work I've been putting in to my mental health would actually pay off, and I'd like come to understanding of what works for me and what I need to like maintain this.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just like, wow, like five years, I mean, it was probably less time than that to help get me to where I am today.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: But certain things happen in life to get me here.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I can only, I can't even, I'm excited for where I'm gonna be in five years.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure I'm gonna be different, like the same person, but like different priorities and like different life stuff would happen.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, last year was a year of learning that there's gonna be things out of your control and that you really have to hone in on what you can control and like still continue to live your life and not let it like just take it over completely, which I definitely failed at last year, but I learned so much from that and I've grown from it and I'm better and like it's just this has just taken time.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've been having a hard time lately, just like know it's gonna all work out and it's gonna be okay, but you have to show up for yourself and you have to set your goals, set priorities of like what you want, because nothing's gonna change if you don't try and get after it.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Online, there's been that trend of like, this is me, this is like you show a photo of your younger self, or like, would you talk to your younger self like this?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And like, kind of going off of that, it's like, if I got coffee with like myself from five years ago, I don't think she would believe that like we are where we're at today because I was in such a like new space and a different mindset and like really struggling with various things, and it was a lot of unknown at the time.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd I tell myself, like, relax, like it all works out.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna be so much happier and so and so much more accomplished, and like know that you gotta just keep going and to trust yourself more and to make those phone calls to your loved ones, experience new things and be more in the moment and not let fear take over everything and to be kinder to myself.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I would have been a lot happier and like not so negative and just like dreading the future because it was so unknown.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like if I was where I am today mentally, I I could have started being way more happier early on.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm here now, it's not too late.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can't go backwards.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I can only go forwards, right?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not too late for me, and it's not too late for you, too.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: I just choose to really work through the hard times and like have a better perspective of things.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And my downside is when I get hangry, then I backtrack.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so simple.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to eat more or have a granola bar with me, but like I still haven't figured that out.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's on the list, but probably towards the bottom.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: And just like things that sh come up unexpectedly, I need to like just relax a little bit more and like be able to adapt easier in the moment.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's hard when unexpected things come up.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not perfect, but we're just working towards being happy and more positive.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think me from five years ago would be like so grateful and so proud of myself because I kept showing up for myself.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I kept putting my pro priorities at the top of that list of like what I really needed.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's always been my mental and physical health.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't give up even when life was hard, and it was very hard to not give up when difficult situations arose, and my anxieties telling me that like all these bad things are gonna happen and it's not gonna work out, and everyone's mad at you.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I've gotten through those.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: I've worked through like what I need to do to quiet those inner voices, and I think like me from five years ago would be like so amazed and so like pat myself on the back, you know, you did it, and you're gonna keep going.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's the point.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I'm gonna keep showing up for myself and being the moment.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And not only that, I mean, I think there are moments where it's like, how do I want to say this?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a balance of like being in the moment, but also still working towards the future.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what that's called.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: I I think it's just like being in the present, I guess.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's like if you're so focused on what's next, what's the next goal?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: What's the next thing I have to improve on?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And like the it's great to have things to keep us going.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's a must.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's important to be in the moment, but I think we also have to like stop and turn around and be like, look how far I've come.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it would a great reminder to be like, okay, like you were at a different point a month ago, a year ago, five years ago.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now look at where you are at, and you should be so proud of that in that you're just gonna keep going.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then you'll look back five years ago today and be like, wow, like I'm even better than I was.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: I've accomplished this, I've grown so much in my career, I've traveled so many places, I've learned a new skill or hobby because we want to appreciate how far we've come and like who we are, like how far we've come and like be proud of where we're at today and not so focused on the past and the future.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: I guess it is it's the main thing is to be present and appreciate the past and looking forward to the future.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna, I'm gonna come with a smoother line.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what it is, but you probably get the gist.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, be proud of how where you've come from and look forward to who you're going to become.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, okay.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm proud of that.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: That works.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: So before you move on with your day, I want you to think about something.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Picture yourself five years ago.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, really think hard where we're living, where were you working?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you were in school.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Think about your dreams, your worries, your loved ones.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now imagine you got to meet your old self today.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: What would they think?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think they would be proud and so happy because you kept going and you didn't give up, and life isn't perfect, but perfect is boring.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to be perfect.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: We just want to be living our best lives.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because maybe you've already become the person you spent so many years looking for.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: I know I have.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's worth celebrating.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll leave you with that.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for listening.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to ask yourself, okay, but are you good?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll catch you all next week and make sure to like and subscribe.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.