Latest / Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe / Pizza Party Day! (Hoppe Hour With Ryan Hoppe: 5.16.26)

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Pizza Party Day! (Hoppe Hour With Ryan Hoppe: 5.16.26) · Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe

• 0:00
  Puppy Hour starts live in less than 10 minutes.
• 0:02
  Stand by. Oh, this is very strange. Now, I first
• 0:13
  liked Clavicular. But now he's getting weird.
• 0:19
  He's describing women's orgasms as a return on
• 0:24
  investment, as an ROI. Oh, I'm sure that's going
• 0:26
  to make the girls stop tearing down. Not important.
• 0:33
  How come? Well, because, you know, the amount
• 0:37
  of extra effort that's required to do that is
• 0:41
  just not going to really have much ROI. So...
• 0:47
  You know where I'm going. They're laughing at
• 0:54
  you, you dummy. Man, the club is real! messed
• 0:57
  up these key. It's true. I mean, really. That
• 1:00
  means return on investment. You know, you're
• 1:02
  going to have to spend at least an extra half
• 1:04
  hour more than you usually would. Oh, heaven
• 1:06
  forbid you hang out with the girl. Clavicle seems
• 1:09
  like one of those dudes that he climaxes, grabs
• 1:11
  the tissue, and is like, bye! You can leave.
• 1:15
  I try to be nice. Sometimes the girls will sleep
• 1:18
  over, or sometimes I'll hang out. And sometimes
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  if they leave immediately, I'm like, yeah, that
• 1:24
  was not my best performance. and she can play
• 1:26
  into Jack Daniels doing some... That's not true.
• 1:30
  It depends on the girl. They don't just... Dude,
• 1:33
  there are girls that can finish. Oh, yeah. Especially
• 1:38
  the cheat code there. What is the cheat code?
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  I'm going to give some oral advice, but I got
• 1:48
  to keep it kind of clean. Mm -hmm. Although,
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  I don't know if it's possible to give oral advice
• 1:54
  without being dirty, but I had a bisexual girlfriend,
• 1:58
  so she knew how to please women. All I'm going
• 2:05
  to say is, get on it, dude. Lick every pie. You
• 2:12
  know where to clip the horses? Just to the left,
• 2:15
  to the right. To the left, to the right. It's
• 2:18
  boring. Use your finger, and to the left, and
• 2:22
  to the right. That's all you gotta do. You don't
• 2:25
  need to... Lick it like it's a popsicle. Mm -hmm.
• 2:29
  Just to the left, to the right. To be honest,
• 2:32
  if you're just doing one -night stands, it doesn't
• 2:34
  matter, right? But if you're trying to satisfy
• 2:37
  a partner and maintain a long term... To the
• 2:39
  left, to the right. ...relationship, having that...
• 2:42
  Yes, your fingers. ...enjoy the experience is
• 2:45
  obviously important. The work around there, the
• 2:47
  ultimate solution is a vibrator, dude. Oh, yeah.
• 2:51
  I am not a fan of vibrators. I'm not against
• 2:54
  vibrators. if a girl wants to bring in vibrators.
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  Like my first girlfriend, we went to a sex shop
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  and got a vibrator. That's because I wasn't doing
• 3:05
  it. Wow. Now if a girl's alone and she misses
• 3:09
  you, that's one thing to have a vibrator. But
• 3:13
  if you're consistently having to use a vibrator.
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  Although, I will say, and this is a dirtier show
• 3:20
  than usual. Sometimes when you're trying to get
• 3:23
  your ass up and you put the vibrator next to
• 3:25
  it. It feels good. It completely eliminates that
• 3:29
  entire effort. That's kind of like cocked in
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  my opinion. No pun intended. You really think
• 3:36
  so? Yeah, I would say so because think about
• 3:38
  it, right? Now you're sitting there with some
• 3:41
  stupid vibrator. You know what I mean? Man, people
• 3:47
  overthink women. I don't understand women. But
• 3:53
  I also just kind of go like, whatever happens,
• 3:56
  happens. There was a girl, I don't know, there's
• 3:59
  been a few girls, and I'm like, if it happens
• 4:03
  with us, it happens with us. You know what I
• 4:05
  mean? I don't, I'm not saying I don't take life
• 4:08
  seriously, but it's like, if we get married,
• 4:13
  we get married. Because I don't want kids, okay?
• 4:16
  But I do know. It'd be nice to, you know, find
• 4:22
  someone. But I want my marriage to be my one
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  and only. I know nobody gets married wanting
• 4:29
  to get a divorce, but I really don't want to
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  go through a divorce. This is very strange. Clavicular
• 4:37
  also, he also talked about how he shapes his
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  jaw by a hammer and now has three girlfriends
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  and counting. Clavicular, let me give you some
• 4:47
  advice. Listen to me, buddy. There have been
• 4:51
  times. I'm currently talking to one girl. But
• 4:56
  even now, we talk every few days. But there was
• 4:59
  a point. And let's go on a little memory. It
• 5:05
  was October 2023. I automatically just quit at
• 5:18
  Beasley Media Group. And I was on the dating
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  apps. And you know what happened? I'm going to
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  tell you what happened. All of a sudden, I am
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  having sex with four different girls in a month.
• 5:35
  I am. It was the best. But you know what I did?
• 5:39
  I went on my podcast. And I did it with that
• 5:42
  nightclub douchebag DJ. And what happened was...
• 5:48
  I ended up bragging about it. Oh, I had sex with
• 5:51
  this girl, this girl, this girl, this girl. And
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  you know what happened? All of a sudden, all
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  four girls stopped talking to me. Now, granted,
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  they were obviously talking to other guys. But
• 6:07
  when the man says it. Don't kiss and tell. You
• 6:18
  did bone smash as a youth. Yes. That's not like
• 6:23
  a joke. You actually took a hammer to your face
• 6:25
  to shape your jawbone. Yeah, well, it's all on
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  YouTube. Did it work? Yeah. It's just hard to
• 6:32
  exactly pinpoint what percentage came from taking
• 6:37
  tests or what percentage came from bone smashing
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  or just regular puberty. And he needs a lot of
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  mental health help. So that I couldn't answer.
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  Did your parents really have to hide the hammers
• 6:48
  around the house. They did. That was not a joke.
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  How many hammers were there? I would say probably
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  did it like three or four times. So I had to
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  switch to this baseball trophy, which is a pretty
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  famous prop. I've still been looking for it because
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  everyone's been wanting me to find that souvenir.
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  Right now I'm dating a couple of girls, actually.
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  Yeah, that ain't it done. Because one of them
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  Probably thinks you're exclusive. Got a harem
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  going on. How many? Three, soon to be four. Are
• 7:22
  they friends? No, they don't get along. Oh, it's
• 7:27
  getting better, actually. Well, that's going
• 7:30
  to blow up in your face. Liz opens up about not
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  being supported by her label. Liz, you're out
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  of your mind. You think the whole world revolves
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  around you. Like, I don't know. I feel like...
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  Why'd you wipe your nose during that video at
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  the grounds? There's not any marketing money
• 8:02
  being put towards all of my ideas. Yeah, probably
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  because your ideas suck. And also, it's like
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  we're in a recession. Why don't you find it yourself?
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  Like, I had an idea. I had a meeting. We had
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  a meeting a month ago with, like, a bunch of
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  incredible ideas. None of them have been implemented.
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  That's what happens. Not every idea happens.
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  I text them weekly things that I want to see
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  done in the digital space. Can you imagine her
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  emails and messages? Oh, my God. This is how
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  I was messaging last week, John. Ideas and things
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  I want to make. I don't see them get done. I
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  don't see them. I'm starting to really, really,
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  really feel. How do you think I feel? When you
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  work at radio stations and you know your idea
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  is good and it works. But people gatekeep. You
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  know what you got to do, listen? You got to do
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  it yourself. I'm down about it because I feel
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  helpless. It's like, what can I do? What more
• 9:04
  can I do? Keep grinding. That's how I feel every
• 9:08
  day. Today I woke up at 11 a .m. and I did not
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  want to get up. And here I am recording. You
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  just keep working. You know. I don't know, babe.
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  I've been on TV. Good for you. I've done a lot
• 9:20
  of things in my life, but guess what? That's
• 9:22
  in the past. I've been, like, posting every fucking
• 9:28
  day. I be posting to the songs. I've got two
• 9:32
  music videos. It's about damn time. Get what
• 9:34
  I did there. Put them out. I'm like, damn. Like,
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  what the fuck else do I need to do? Like, right
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  now, I'm literally. Keep grinding. And maybe,
• 9:43
  you know, you know, be sexually creepy around
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  your assistants and your backup dancers. Mm -hmm.
• 9:50
  That might actually help out your car. If you
• 9:55
  had to come up with ideas to like do more marketing,
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  but it's like in 2026, unless you're a brand
• 10:02
  new artist or somebody no one's ever heard of.
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  And it's getting, you know, you need to go independent,
• 10:08
  honey. And I'll finally like finally getting
• 10:12
  recognized. It's really hard to cut the fuck
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  through. Like I'll do it yourself. How old are
• 10:19
  you? So I can base my opinion off of your age.
• 10:22
  Lizzo's age. You're 30. You're going to be 40
• 10:27
  in two years. Man, black don't crack. But I'm
• 10:30
  being serious. You need to do it yourself. Because
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  they ain't going to help you. Companies don't
• 10:35
  want to spend money. You got to do it yourself.
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  You can't rely on others. And you're giving them
• 10:41
  all the power. You doing good? I'm doing great.
• 10:55
  Drank a lot last night. I have some stomach pain,
• 10:58
  so I hope my liver's okay. Attention, FM DJs.
• 11:03
  Your morning show prep begins now. Loud, rude,
• 11:09
  aggressive. And those are his good qualities.
• 11:12
  A sick person with a powerful tool. Welcome to
• 11:17
  Happy Hour. Doors closing. Hi, this is Ryan Hoppy's
• 11:32
  mom, and you're listening to Hoppy Hour. Welcome
• 11:35
  back to Hoppy Hour with Ryan Hoppy. Yes, now.
• 11:44
  What? Now, now, now, now. If I hit this button,
• 11:46
  boom, the whole program's going to start. Okay,
• 11:48
  we'll hit it. All right. was so big. And now,
• 12:09
  something completely different. Hoppy Hour starts
• 12:11
  in 4, 3, 2, Hoppy, Hoppy, Hoppy. This is Hoppy
• 12:19
  Hour with Hoppy. It's time for Hoppy's Inbox,
• 12:59
  only on Hoppy Hour with Ryan Hoppy. Yes! How
• 13:04
  are you guys? You doing good? I don't really
• 13:07
  care. I got a lot of messages that I'll go to
• 13:11
  the grave not reading about my segment making
• 13:13
  fun of Jeff Dye bitching and crying and moaning
• 13:16
  like a little bitch that he didn't make the cut
• 13:19
  for the Kill Tony WrestleMania segment. I got
• 13:22
  a few comments here. Ryan! Who do you think you
• 13:25
  are? Jeff Dye has starred in many comedy specials
• 13:31
  and sitcoms. And you're doing a podcast. Next
• 13:36
  comment. This channel's trash. Listen to me.
• 13:41
  And you listen to me very carefully. By no means
• 13:46
  am I applauding myself on the back. But I'm going
• 13:52
  to applaud myself. Wait, pat myself on the back,
• 13:55
  not applaud myself. That'd be pretty hard. I'm
• 13:59
  doing it right now. I've worked with a lot of
• 14:04
  comedians. I've interviewed probably, I don't
• 14:06
  know, 30, 40 of them. Been around about 100 ,000
• 14:13
  of them with Reverend Kelton, Steve Dahl. Let
• 14:16
  me tell you, they are not your friends. The reason
• 14:21
  they are comedians is because they have no friends.
• 14:25
  They don't know how to interact with people,
• 14:27
  and they're unhappy. So you know what they do?
• 14:30
  They go into comedy because that's the way they
• 14:32
  get acceptance from the world. Oh, my God. I've
• 14:37
  told you. You've got to listen to me. I know
• 14:42
  a thing or two. Hop Daddy knows what he's talking
• 14:44
  about. Maybe not, but I'm telling you. They don't
• 14:50
  care about you. They don't know you exist. They
• 14:53
  view you as a way to make money. Oh, yeah. Last
• 15:00
  night, I drank a lot. Remember like three years
• 15:04
  ago when I was like, I ain't drinking anymore.
• 15:08
  Yeah, I never really fell off the wagon because
• 15:11
  I was never really on the wagon. But I got three
• 15:14
  daughters brewing orange creams called vodka
• 15:18
  seltzers. Did not really feel much from it, but
• 15:22
  it tasted good. And I was at the pool laying
• 15:28
  down, you know, getting some sun. And I saw the
• 15:33
  ice cream man. So, of course, I had to get ice
• 15:36
  cream. I haven't had ice cream from the ice cream
• 15:39
  man probably since the latest 08. The poor guy,
• 15:45
  he had an Android phone, and his touch -to -touch
• 15:51
  Apple Pay was not working, because I got a Sonic
• 15:55
  the Hedgehog, and I got a birthday cake ice cream
• 16:01
  sandwich. Oh, that was delicious. But of course,
• 16:05
  I'm already a little tipsy, and it's now working.
• 16:09
  And it didn't work for anybody that was in line,
• 16:11
  so I think it was his technology. So then I had
• 16:13
  to go upstairs, go to the second floor, get my
• 16:17
  car keys, and I had to go to my car, get the
• 16:21
  debit card, and make sure I don't lose it. Oh,
• 16:23
  my God. I forgot how much I love the ice cream
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  truck. Mm -hmm. Oh, sure. I got it. Whatever.
• 16:36
  That was a fun time. Made me realize I'm so old.
• 16:43
  Cause like I'm in line with like 10 year olds.
• 16:46
  It's like I seen out of like Elf or something.
• 16:55
  I'm very hot. His didn't do this. But the ones
• 17:00
  in Illinois would go. Hello? And then it would
• 17:05
  go on for another 30 seconds. Then it would be
• 17:08
  like, anyone there? I might be Mandela affecting
• 17:12
  that, but I think I remember the trucks doing
• 17:14
  that, at least in Arlington Heights, Illinois.
• 17:16
  Had a hard time saying that. By the way, I had
• 17:21
  a weird freaking dream last night. So where I
• 17:26
  grew up in Arlington Heights, Illinois, for those
• 17:29
  listening in Illinois, you get off that Northwest
• 17:33
  Highway. Off of the Highway 53. You go down to
• 17:39
  Wilkie. And you turn left. And there used to
• 17:42
  be the racetrack. And then there's a train station.
• 17:47
  I used to walk to that train station for internships
• 17:49
  in the city. And I had a dream last night that
• 17:55
  I was on the CTA. Man, my voice sounds rough.
• 18:00
  You can tell I had four beers last night. And
• 18:04
  I got off the train. I started walking home and
• 18:09
  I really had to pee. It's probably because I
• 18:11
  had to really pee in real life because I had
• 18:13
  like four tall boys last night and four vodka
• 18:15
  seltzers. So I decide to go behind this guy's
• 18:21
  yard and pee. And then there's like security
• 18:25
  camera footage and they're watching some sports
• 18:27
  game. And he comes out and goes, Javi, what are
• 18:31
  you doing? Which, first of all, that would not
• 18:34
  happen in Illinois because no one really knows
• 18:36
  who I am there. Yeah, I had a cult following
• 18:39
  at WNUR 89 .3 when I was at Northwestern Radio.
• 18:44
  But I'm more known in Cleveland and Tampa. But
• 18:46
  the guy's like, ah, dude, what are you doing?
• 18:48
  And I try to run. Then another guy stops me.
• 18:51
  And we just talked for a minute about me pissing
• 18:53
  in his yarn. Then I proceeded to walk home. And
• 18:57
  I woke up. And I was like, that was a weird freaking
• 18:58
  dream. And then... On accident, because it was
• 19:02
  a weird dream, I was kind of having a little
• 19:04
  bit of a panic attack. And you know what I did?
• 19:08
  I kicked my cat in the head. It's her fault!
• 19:13
  Who sleeps at the end of the bed? I literally
• 19:16
  set up the whole pillowcase so she can sleep
• 19:18
  next to my head. I probably move around too much.
• 19:23
  That was my morning. You know what's been cracking
• 19:26
  me up? It's these freaking algorithms online.
• 19:30
  So I have a friend named Tim, probably my favorite
• 19:33
  cab attender ever. One of my closest friends.
• 19:37
  He also has the same birthday as me. And something
• 19:41
  funny happened. So he loves to go scuba diving
• 19:45
  and he loves to go on boats. The dude loves being
• 19:48
  outside. He's honestly inspires me to go out
• 19:52
  and live life. And what happened was he caught
• 19:56
  a mammoth tooth and he made a post about it.
• 20:00
  And this one guy wrote a troll account and was
• 20:04
  like, that looks like a piece of poop. And me
• 20:06
  and Tim talked about it at the bar. And I was
• 20:08
  like, bro, I'm proud of you. Ignore those losers.
• 20:12
  And this post was from like May 4th. May the
• 20:16
  4th be with you. But then happened on like, we
• 20:18
  talked about it on like May 10th. Of course.
• 20:22
  I go on Facebook on my laptop. What is the very
• 20:25
  first post? It's Tim's Bob. I'm looking at the
• 20:28
  Charlotte Bobcats on my screen. It's Tim's mammoth
• 20:32
  tooth. The funds are listening to us. The hell?
• 20:38
  I'm not that interesting, I promise. You don't
• 20:41
  have to listen to me. You hear a lot of me venting
• 20:45
  to my friends and having panic attacks. I'm not
• 20:47
  that interesting. And if you think I'm interesting
• 20:51
  because of my radio show, you're a cloud chaser.
• 20:56
  That was very strange. It's been funny. So on
• 21:01
  social media with the algorithms, they're not
• 21:05
  allowed to say shoot. Like, oh, this person was
• 21:09
  shot or shoot. So if it's a caption like. There
• 21:13
  was a shooting in Atlanta outside of a nightclub.
• 21:16
  It looks like there was a shitting. Absolutely
• 21:23
  hilarious. So every time I see it, I just thought,
• 21:26
  who's shitting it? What are you doing? Make it
• 21:30
  to the toilet. I'm like, oh, shooting. That algorithm
• 21:33
  thing where there's the asterisk is so stupid.
• 21:38
  What are you doing? Is the algorithm that pussified?
• 21:43
  That we can't have the word murder or shooting
• 21:47
  without triggering people? You're a bunch of
• 21:51
  bitches. Gotta be careful not to lose my voice
• 21:54
  today. Because sometimes I'll be doing my theatrical
• 21:56
  voice like this. And the next day I'm like...
• 22:00
  By the way... We have a new listener. That's
• 22:06
  a part of Hoppies Homies. Remember when I tried
• 22:08
  to make merchandise? I don't know, 11 years ago.
• 22:11
  I was trying to be like Bubba the Sponge with
• 22:14
  his Bubba Army. And this guy named Ryan Redbeard
• 22:20
  on Twitter came up with Hoppies Homies. Never
• 22:24
  quite took off, but it was a good try. Well,
• 22:28
  we have a new Hoppies Homies. Her name is Callie.
• 22:35
  She's very pretty. She goes to the Kava House
• 22:38
  on 4th Street that I go to. Remember, she's like
• 22:43
  one of those kind of off the grid, isn't on social
• 22:46
  media much, might have a social media account,
• 22:48
  but no one knows. Just very off the grid. She's
• 22:52
  like, what do you do for a living? And I'm like,
• 22:53
  oh, I work with the MJ Morning Show. I work at
• 22:55
  Beasley Media Group. I have a podcast. And she's
• 22:58
  never listened to a podcast before besides seeing,
• 23:00
  you know, Clips on YouTube. So she's like, hey,
• 23:06
  I helped her download Spotify. I had her subscribe
• 23:10
  to it. And you know what happened? I was the
• 23:14
  very first podcast she ever listened to. Think
• 23:17
  about that. You got the murder podcast. You got
• 23:23
  the podcast from newspapers reading the news.
• 23:27
  You got Rogan. And then you got me. She was like,
• 23:33
  it sounded nothing like you. She's like, there
• 23:35
  was like nonstop noise. I'm like, that's the
• 23:38
  point. That's what I'm here for. So Kelly, welcome
• 23:46
  to Hoppy's Homies. Give it about five shows,
• 23:49
  you'll end up loving it. See what happens. Yesterday,
• 23:53
  I had to take the day off, man. I recorded for
• 23:59
  seven days in a row. I was on an adventure lately.
• 24:04
  First of all, I slept in every day during the
• 24:08
  year and was going to Beely Media Group and doing
• 24:11
  stuff for DJ Speedy and doing my podcast. And
• 24:16
  then you know what happened? I'm going to tell
• 24:18
  you what happened. I ended up flying to Chicago
• 24:22
  to see my family and go to old radio shows I
• 24:25
  used to work on. And then I went to Minneapolis
• 24:27
  to visit my friend Allie and do some business
• 24:31
  up there. And then I immediately had to come
• 24:34
  back home because I had to get ready to adjust
• 24:39
  to getting up at 4 .30 a .m. to work on the MJ
• 24:41
  Morning Show. Then I did the MJ Morning Show
• 24:44
  last week. And then I finally caught up on sleep.
• 24:48
  But once the MJ Morning Show was over with on
• 24:51
  Friday, I did a two -hour show. Then I also did
• 24:55
  two two -hour shows that same week, Cinco de
• 24:58
  Mayo, because I had Wednesday off. So I did,
• 25:00
  until Friday, seven days in a row of Hoppy Hour.
• 25:04
  And I really brought the ruckus, man. Oh, I did.
• 25:11
  Yesterday, I came to work. I sat in this little
• 25:14
  room that I recorded. And I just went, can't
• 25:18
  do it today. Can't. It was nothing personal.
• 25:25
  At the very minimum, I recorded 14 hours of this
• 25:28
  show in a week. I think you survived. I think
• 25:32
  you had a back catalog of the 900 shows I have
• 25:36
  on this platform and then 2 ,400 I have on my
• 25:39
  YouTube and then 118 I've recorded this year.
• 25:43
  I think you survived with me taking a day off.
• 25:46
  I think you were just fine. So that was where
• 25:49
  I was. 856 -4900. Okay, this is an interesting
• 25:57
  headline here. So, here's this hottest girl.
• 26:03
  Oh, she's looking a little raggedy. Let's see
• 26:06
  what her TikTok name is. Slen Avet. Maybe that's
• 26:12
  her last name. She looks like she'd be like from
• 26:14
  Europe. She's a pretty girl. And it says on this
• 26:17
  video on Twitter. Modern woman goes on a first
• 26:21
  date with Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Chris Davinsky
• 26:26
  and tells that he attempted to persuade her to
• 26:29
  go back to his place. Oh, my God. You're telling
• 26:32
  me an athlete wants to get his rocks off? No
• 26:35
  way. Breaking news. You're telling me that when
• 26:42
  you go on a first date with someone elite, they
• 26:44
  want to get laid? Breaking news. You're telling
• 26:54
  me guys like getting laid to hot ass women? Call
• 27:00
  the presses. So here is this woman who's going
• 27:05
  to end up dying alone like me because she can't
• 27:08
  ever be happy. But what I'm saying to you is
• 27:11
  a guy wants to bang you. Whoa. No way. Heaven
• 27:18
  forbid. So here she is. And this date was with
• 27:24
  a Pirates player. Ah, you have to name drop!
• 27:28
  Because without him, you're just another one
• 27:32
  on a failed first date. He... I didn't go into
• 27:41
  this date thinking, like, he's going to be a
• 27:43
  really good guy, you know? Yeah, then why don't
• 27:45
  you go on a date? Because you wanted something
• 27:47
  to talk about. Because you're one of those women
• 27:50
  that can't afford a podcast little setup. But
• 27:53
  you're trying to be like Alex. So what do you
• 27:56
  do? You do a selfie video in your car. What is
• 28:03
  it about today's modern women that they do videos
• 28:07
  in their front seat about how men suck and then
• 28:10
  wonder why men don't want to be around them?
• 28:13
  Like you, you, I had good, I had the right expectations.
• 28:17
  No, you didn't. If you had the right expectations,
• 28:20
  you wouldn't be making this stupid video. So
• 28:25
  I get to this date. We just got coffee. Very
• 28:26
  casual date. He referenced. I'm going to tell
• 28:30
  you, I have never been laid off of a coffee date.
• 28:35
  That's the girl trying to get some caffeine.
• 28:38
  Maybe she's a little constipated and wants to
• 28:41
  poop. And the coffee will do. I can do it today.
• 28:43
  That ain't a date that you're getting. I have
• 28:46
  never ever. I don't even know if I've had second
• 28:48
  dates from coffee dates. Hey, you know, I go
• 28:52
  to Starbucks in downtown St. Pete for 10 minutes.
• 28:55
  That, that, no, no. Homie, Chris messed up thinking
• 28:59
  he's getting his rocks off from going to Starbucks.
• 29:01
  Ask me. I have my pants. I'm wearing cargo pants.
• 29:05
  Oh, yeah. Oh, are those comfortable? I go, yeah.
• 29:07
  He goes, are they easy to get off? Oh, yeah.
• 29:13
  Although, if you were to bang in the bathroom,
• 29:15
  you'd have to get that four -digit code. I go,
• 29:17
  yep. Oh, you seem prune. You're probably one
• 29:22
  of those that thinks you need to use teeth. He
• 29:25
  dodged the bullet here. Sure. He goes, all right,
• 29:29
  nice, easy access. I go, oh, yeah. what for on
• 29:33
  the fucking street right here yeah we can do
• 29:36
  it in the alley so he starts referencing sex
• 29:38
  and stuff heaven forbid you're with a professional
• 29:42
  freaking athlete you ain't with an mit student
• 29:46
  babe um and then and then he goes he goes let's
• 29:51
  have a staring contest and let's God, if that's
• 29:58
  your laugh, I wonder what you sound like during
• 29:59
  sex. Let's see. He goes, winner gets a prize.
• 30:03
  Oh, yeah, you have to suck me off. I go, okay,
• 30:06
  if you win, what do you want? And he goes, he
• 30:09
  goes, a kiss. Oh, yeah. My guy's aggressive.
• 30:14
  Of course. Of course it is. Oh, what are you
• 30:17
  supposed to do, honey? What are you supposed
• 30:20
  to do? You're on a first day with an athlete.
• 30:24
  What do you expect? He's going to talk about
• 30:26
  your social arts degree, your liberal arts, your
• 30:30
  liberal arts degree. What do you think he wants?
• 30:33
  He wants you. He goes, what do you want? And
• 30:36
  I go, I said, get the fuck out of here. Second
• 30:38
  date. I don't want a fucking second date. You're
• 30:41
  a hick. You're annoying. It's never your fault.
• 30:45
  And you're wondering why you're in your mid -30s
• 30:48
  because you look kind of old. It's not worked
• 30:50
  out for you. I want a second date. That laugh
• 30:54
  is annoying. So. Cackling hen. So he. I hate
• 31:03
  myself. That's why I make this video to get men's
• 31:06
  approval of how great I am. Shut up. So we can
• 31:13
  be like best two out of three. I go, okay, cool.
• 31:15
  So I lose, I lose the first one. Oh, she's making
• 31:18
  this video while driving. Real safe. I have contacts
• 31:22
  and naturally dry eyes, so I lose. And then,
• 31:25
  and then he goes, all right, let's add something
• 31:26
  to this. Oh yeah, you're insane. It's iffy. She'd
• 31:33
  be perfect for like a morning show with fake
• 31:35
  prank calls, that fake laugh. Cool. So I lose.
• 31:40
  I lose the first one. I have contacts and naturally
• 31:43
  dry eyes, so I lose. And then he goes, all right,
• 31:46
  let's add something to this. He goes, if you...
• 31:48
  He goes, if I win, I'm adding something to it.
• 31:53
  The back door. If I win this one, you have to
• 31:57
  drive me back to my place. This guy may play
• 32:06
  for the Pittsburgh Pirates, but he ain't got
• 32:09
  no game. Neither does she. She's an annoying
• 32:13
  broad. Don't get me wrong. I've had enough of
• 32:17
  you. Jay, why are you single? Because you're
• 32:21
  annoying. And you know why I have the authority
• 32:26
  to say that? Because I'm single, and I'm annoying,
• 32:29
  and I can call it like it is. Blah, blah, blah.
• 32:34
  Waka Flocka confronts Jake Paul over wanting
• 32:37
  to do blackface after Drewski's Erica Kirk skit.
• 32:43
  What made me say it? All right, we're not playing
• 32:48
  that. What is it with these freaking podcasts
• 32:51
  where you have people talking off the mic? You
• 32:54
  have Jake Paul sounding like this, then you got
• 32:56
  Waka Flocka go, yo, son, what do you think about,
• 32:59
  why do you think that blackface needs to be necessary?
• 33:02
  Talking to a freaking microphone, you idiot.
• 33:04
  No wonder you haven't had a hit since Hardin'
• 33:07
  the Paint. You can't even talk into a microphone,
• 33:10
  dude. What are you doing? Here is Clevicula on
• 33:17
  the Impulsive Podcast. Talking about how he's
• 33:21
  dating multiple girls. Oh, this ain't going to
• 33:23
  blow up in his face or anything. The way that
• 33:26
  men and women interact, just on like a, you know,
• 33:32
  mitigating stress level. Like there's a lot of
• 33:34
  benefits to just having like a woman's presence
• 33:36
  in your life. And I think those are kind of like
• 33:38
  universal. Yeah, it can be kind of cool. So I
• 33:43
  wouldn't really say like there's been an individual
• 33:45
  that's been better or worse, you know, so not
• 33:49
  really. So the reason that you are not currently
• 33:53
  dating someone is because you're insufferable?
• 33:59
  It has nothing to do Not being able to find the
• 34:02
  right person. Well, right now I'm dating a couple
• 34:07
  of girls, actually. Cool, dude. You know, there's
• 34:14
  one of those that kind of fell for his charmingness
• 34:16
  and thinks they had a chance. You're always side
• 34:19
  chicks. I don't care about you. What do we got
• 34:23
  here? This is interesting. It's crazy broad.
• 34:28
  It's Lily Phillips. who looks like a hotter version
• 34:31
  of Carmen from The Countess Show. She explained
• 34:34
  how her new boyfriend remains supportive of her
• 34:39
  career. She claims he brings her chocolate and
• 34:42
  gifts after long filming days, but insists that
• 34:47
  he's not a cuck and credits his maturity for
• 34:51
  being able to handle her taking so many Ds solo.
• 34:54
  I have a boyfriend, but I'm still allowed to
• 34:57
  get cracked. Oh, yeah! by other men get ready
• 35:01
  with me while i tell you about how me and my
• 35:04
  boyfriend navigate our relationship i get plowed
• 35:07
  by a bunch of men he's at home thinking about
• 35:09
  it so obviously i am a mattress actress in the
• 35:14
  adult industry i don't know you're a porn star
• 35:19
  whatever you want to call it and so my job is
• 35:23
  getting cracked by people and getting a bunch
• 35:26
  of semen on my face And because he's super mature,
• 35:29
  he actually understands that that's what it is.
• 35:32
  Understands. You make it sound so profound with
• 35:34
  your accent, honey. This is a job. You know,
• 35:38
  I don't have feelings for people when I sleep
• 35:42
  with them. You know, there's one porn star out
• 35:45
  there and it's like, I thought you cared about
• 35:47
  me. Uh -huh. It is purely just for content. content
• 35:55
  just to clarify as well because i'm a content
• 35:59
  this isn't a message for him we are in a monogamous
• 36:03
  relationship now if you're doing like finger
• 36:08
  play videos and that might be different but there's
• 36:11
  nothing monogamous about this outside of my work
• 36:15
  and he's actually super supportive i said some
• 36:20
  fun about you you got the uh what's it called
• 36:24
  i forget not the apple not the train i'll do
• 36:26
  that sound effect anyway ah whatever it's a dirty
• 36:31
  term airtight you got the airtight today so proud
• 36:38
  of you babe like the day i came home from doing
• 36:41
  a schwang bang he had brought me like chocolates
• 36:43
  and like written me a lovely gorgeous card And
• 36:51
  he just gets that, like, this is my passion.
• 36:54
  Oh, yeah, I get implied by 100 ,000 men. Oh,
• 36:57
  you're so passionate. No, you got daddy issues.
• 37:00
  I love my job so much. It's not something that
• 37:04
  I would want to quit for anyone. And he gets
• 37:07
  it because he's in beta male. He doesn't want
• 37:11
  me to quit for him. I know they don't have Thanksgiving
• 37:14
  over in Britain, but imagine you bring Lily Phillips
• 37:16
  home maybe for Christmas or something. Anything
• 37:20
  like that. Like, he enjoys me enjoying myself.
• 37:23
  All right. But you just said you don't enjoy
• 37:26
  yourself because you view it as a job. So how
• 37:28
  is it, honey? Like most women, you're confusing.
• 37:35
  856 -49 -Hobby. Hunter Schaefer reveals that
• 37:42
  some of the most emotionally damaging experiences
• 37:44
  of her life came from men. I bet it's never your
• 37:47
  fault. Man, the Call Her Daddy podcast is just
• 37:52
  becoming, hey, men are the worst. Even all we
• 37:55
  talk about is sex. If men were so bad, maybe
• 37:59
  it should just go down. Also, my first monogamous
• 38:02
  relationship. Everything else had been polyamorous
• 38:05
  because that's what I came up in. That's how
• 38:09
  I learned relationships. It kind of touched on
• 38:11
  it before. I had built up a complex against men.
• 38:16
  Understandable. Understandably? What are you?
• 38:19
  Not Taylor. What do you call her, daddy? What
• 38:22
  are you, Alex Cooper? You treat everyone like
• 38:25
  garbage. You ain't no saint, honey. Most, if
• 38:28
  not all of my deeply painful experiences I've
• 38:30
  had in life. Yeah. And with men. And so I really
• 38:34
  like came into this complex. I think the problem
• 38:39
  was you weren't coming. Never want to let a man
• 38:42
  that close to me in my life. I don't see a world
• 38:45
  in which it's. All right. Well, just keep being
• 38:47
  lonely. All these women go after the bad boys.
• 38:54
  And I wonder why they still are broken. Because
• 38:58
  you think you want the bad boy. But then the
• 39:00
  bad boy treats you like garbage. And you fall
• 39:03
  in love with an idea of them. Oh, what's going
• 39:08
  on with Neon? Evander Kane asks Neon if he knows
• 39:16
  how many players in the NBA and NFL have been
• 39:19
  run into. How many players being with Alabama
• 39:23
  Barker? Yeah, and he didn't know what to say
• 39:27
  to them. Yeah, if I'm Travis Barker, I'm so proud!
• 39:33
  Or maybe Travis Barker's the reason she's doing
• 39:35
  this. I love this headline. We got this right
• 39:47
  here. Clavicular says if he has a daughter, he
• 39:50
  doesn't need her to look, Max. Mm -hmm. She's
• 39:54
  12 years old, and she had been watching Clavicular
• 39:58
  on TikTok, learning about bones. Oh, that's good.
• 40:02
  What an influence on the next generation of Gen
• 40:05
  Alpha he is. Oh, we're screwed. And she had a
• 40:10
  ball -peen hammer in her hand. As a parent, would
• 40:13
  you take that hammer from her? Well, if a girl
• 40:17
  was look -smacking, I would say to her, We live
• 40:22
  in a very favorable society towards women and
• 40:25
  some beta boxer will still. He's like a walking
• 40:31
  SNL skit of douchebags in their 20s. Why do I
• 40:35
  say that? Because I was a douchebag in my 20s.
• 40:39
  Take care of you like you don't really need to
• 40:41
  be. Beta what? Beta boxer. Beta boxer? Yeah.
• 40:48
  We are living in the time. of the movie idiocracy.
• 40:53
  Can you explain that to me? Yeah, I'm going to
• 40:55
  need that definition, unfortunately. So a beta
• 40:59
  boxer is like someone who basically gets girls.
• 41:03
  by being a simp and, like, just, you know, being
• 41:06
  rich, but they're ugly. You! That's you! Ugly.
• 41:11
  So, basically, what I'm saying is there's going
• 41:16
  to be someone in this dating market who's desperate
• 41:20
  enough. Dating market. This is his problem. He
• 41:26
  views it like a dating app. A dating market.
• 41:30
  The owner, you go through girl after girl. You
• 41:33
  view them as objects, you moron. For just about
• 41:37
  any girl. So the burden for women to Luxmax is
• 41:41
  a lot lower. I can't do it. I was intrigued by
• 41:46
  it earlier in the month hearing about Luxmax.
• 41:49
  I feel stupid when I listen to him. But he's
• 41:53
  being serious. His advice is horrible too. A
• 42:00
  trespasser returns to Chris Brown's house. We're
• 42:03
  called back to Chris Brown's home Thursday morning
• 42:05
  following another trespassing incident involving
• 42:07
  the same suspect arrested there just a day earlier.
• 42:10
  If you don't know what's going on, let me fill
• 42:13
  you in. I'll fill you in. As we reported, on
• 42:16
  Wednesday, a trespasser was arrested outside
• 42:18
  of Chris Brown's home after allegedly hopping
• 42:20
  a fence and making it onto his property. That's
• 42:23
  got to be frightening. The suspect was also accused
• 42:26
  of attempting to start a fire before being taken
• 42:28
  into custody. Loser! Sources tell TMZ police
• 42:32
  responded again Thursday morning after reports
• 42:34
  of a suspicious person walking along the private
• 42:36
  roadway near the gated home. Alright, gated community.
• 42:40
  We're told the suspect was seen pacing the area
• 42:42
  before authorities arrived and he is now in custody.
• 42:44
  Alright, that's good. Man, we have a mental health
• 42:49
  crisis in this country. What do we got here?
• 42:56
  Sophie Reign. The supposed virgin who's religious
• 43:02
  and does OnlyFans. She burst into tears claiming
• 43:07
  her own sister pushed her into OnlyFans. Fake
• 43:10
  persona, essentially. I made Sophie Reign. And
• 43:13
  it just kind of grew more traction and more traction.
• 43:15
  I saw. Cause you're a hot piece of ass. That's
• 43:18
  awesome. Oh, you know, my sister was doing OnlyFans.
• 43:20
  Oh yeah. Your parents must be so proud. I was
• 43:24
  so proud of you guys. And I was like, maybe I'll
• 43:27
  try it so I can get out of this serving job.
• 43:29
  Cause I was just serving. I was working. No,
• 43:31
  you serve us in different ways. Literally every
• 43:34
  day. Oh yeah. And all the insults are like, good
• 43:38
  a real job, man. If I didn't even bust out of
• 43:40
  my cushy and make $500 ,000 a minute, I'd probably
• 43:44
  do it too. Doctor, who is this woman? Dr. Cheyenne
• 43:51
  Bryan gets asked why she won't show proof of
• 43:54
  her degree. I have multiple degrees and I'm not
• 43:56
  going to prove anything to anybody. But it's
• 43:58
  not true. You're a liar. That's why. My obedience
• 44:03
  is to God, not to people. So long as I'm in his
• 44:06
  will and I'm serving and I'm doing. Shut the
• 44:08
  fuck up. Stop it with the God stuff. I'm going
• 44:13
  to lie about my career, but that's because of
• 44:15
  God. I was talking to somebody recently and God
• 44:21
  must just be up in heaven knowing that we're
• 44:26
  all liars. I mean, his, you know, his word, my
• 44:30
  sheep will know my voice. It's fiction. It's
• 44:34
  like talking about Harry Potter. There's nothing
• 44:36
  real about it. Even the sheep and wolf. You're
• 44:39
  a hag. Clothing. That is not my battle. What
• 44:42
  is your battle, being a bitch? Blah. Blah. Blah.
• 44:52
  Spencer Pratt says he'll do a reality show if
• 44:56
  he becomes the mayor of L .A. Signed a contract
• 44:59
  to film a reality TV show about the first family
• 45:02
  of L .A. if he wins the mayoral race. At first
• 45:05
  I thought it was kind of cool. Now I'm a little
• 45:10
  concerned. Here's one. It reminds me of the guy
• 45:13
  we have in office as president. An obnoxious
• 45:17
  reality star. That becomes a politician. Sources
• 45:20
  with direct knowledge told TMZ that Pratt signed
• 45:23
  a deal with an L .A. production company to roll
• 45:25
  cameras as he runs for mayor. And the production
• 45:28
  team has been filming Spencer, his wife Heidi,
• 45:30
  and their two kids throughout the entire campaign.
• 45:32
  Right. He doesn't care about L .A. He's just
• 45:36
  trying to bring down Karen Bass because she's
• 45:39
  one of the reasons that all the issues happened
• 45:40
  during the L .A. fires. We got a video right
• 45:45
  here at Clavicular. Getting a call from his mom.
• 45:50
  Hello? Mom? I'm on live stream. I'm gambling.
• 45:57
  I'm my maxing right now. Teach the girls how
• 46:04
  to cook. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Okay.
• 46:10
  What an idiot. Does no one know how to do anything?
• 46:15
  First of all, you have Waka Flocka and the Jake
• 46:18
  Paul clip not talking into a microphone. And
• 46:21
  in here, you got him putting his mom on speakerphone
• 46:24
  and not trying to connect it to the freaking
• 46:26
  board. You're an idiot. I'm not playing this.
• 46:34
  She was going to say that the women are useless.
• 46:38
  Jesus Christ, does no one know how to do a proper
• 46:40
  podcast? Lizzo speaks on where she's at with
• 46:45
  Nicki Minaj. They asked me if I steal. Oh, they
• 46:48
  asked you. You're an ax murderer. Fuck with Nicki
• 46:51
  Minaj. All right, there you go. She didn't say
• 46:59
  much. Honestly, when Lizzo's not talking, that's
• 47:04
  when she's at her best. Bro -rilla. I love saying
• 47:08
  it like that. That is Letta's sister. Bro -rilla!
• 47:15
  You can't say bro -rilla. You gotta say bro -rilla!
• 47:21
  Reacts to Lado saying she's retiring. I'm the
• 47:24
  real shit. I drags the fuck out of shit. I motherfucking
• 47:29
  date every day. But when Lado say she was finna
• 47:35
  get ready to retire, from what? Wow. That's riveting
• 47:41
  stuff, man. From Pro -Rel. Pro -Rel, that kind
• 47:49
  of scares me. Oh, yeah. Kodak Black was arrested.
• 47:52
  Again. For attempting to flee and resist an officer.
• 47:58
  Meh. Homie's going through a mental health crisis.
• 48:02
  Oh, by the way, we got this here. Plies. Who
• 48:06
  says beer? Beer. Beer. I love plies. Shawty's
• 48:12
  one of the greatest songs ever. Me and my girls
• 48:14
  is a good band in the club. You know what the
• 48:18
  problem with plies is? I know somebody that was
• 48:21
  a server at Ruth. This is all alleged. But I
• 48:24
  knew someone that was a server at Ruth, Chris.
• 48:27
  And you're not allowed to look plies in the eyes.
• 48:31
  You have to talk to his brother. You're a douchebag.
• 48:35
  Think you're better than people? Beer. He always
• 48:38
  says beer. I'm looking for me a shell, bitch.
• 48:46
  Anybody know where I can find a shell, bitch?
• 48:54
  He's talking about how he wants a female chef.
• 48:56
  So then you'll have to have the female chef talk
• 48:58
  to your... Brother through to get to you. Yeah,
• 49:02
  I'm looking for a show. A female show. It's so
• 49:09
  funny how when he's rapping, he sounds so coherent
• 49:12
  and so clear. And then when he's talking, he's
• 49:14
  like, yeah, yeah. You got to know how to cook.
• 49:21
  Yeah. Weird, man. He's got a cute laugh, huh?
• 49:34
  You gotta know how to cook. Take a shot every
• 49:39
  time Ply says beer. Cause you're a beer. I need
• 49:43
  a shove, bitch. Ain't something. There you go.
• 49:51
  Ply's talking about his beer. You sound ignorant
• 49:56
  when you say beer. Now, I understand that the
• 50:01
  Tampa Bay area tried to claim him. Mm -hmm. Because
• 50:05
  he's from Fort Myers. But he seems like a beer.
• 50:12
  Just being on it. I'm being on it. Drake's new
• 50:18
  album takes, and that's how I used to say it
• 50:21
  with my Midwest accent, takes shots at DJ Khaled,
• 50:24
  A $AP, Rocky, Kendrick, Lamar, Joe, Button, and
• 50:27
  Moe. Right here. We're not playing the music,
• 50:31
  but. We got the report. Listen to Drake's new
• 50:34
  album. I mean, all three albums. Well, if you
• 50:36
  haven't had the chance yet, let me give you guys
• 50:38
  the tea and some of the apparent. The beer. This
• 50:41
  is from the albums. In these albums that Drake
• 50:43
  dropped, they appear to have direct shots aimed
• 50:45
  at Kendrick Lamar, DJ Khaled, A $AP Rocky, Rick
• 50:48
  Ross, and many more. They left out Joe Bud. On
• 50:51
  his track, Dust, Drake appears to take a direct
• 50:54
  aim at Kendrick Lamar, rapping, what was the
• 50:56
  year you said you had slaps? Because I don't
• 50:58
  remember it going like that. Kendrick, well,
• 51:01
  Kendrick's not a great guy, but Drake is such
• 51:04
  a little B. I don't remember one word of your
• 51:07
  raps. He also adds another lyric that has social
• 51:09
  media talking, white kids listen to you because
• 51:12
  they feel some guilt. What? I've never put on
• 51:18
  Money Trees by Kendrick Lamar and been like,
• 51:20
  oh, I feel so guilty. It's just a good song,
• 51:23
  douchebag. Drake also appears to fire a DJ Khaled
• 51:26
  on his track, Make Them Pay, rapping, the beef
• 51:28
  was fully live, you went halal and got on your
• 51:31
  dean. Weird guy. You know, Drake gets on the
• 51:34
  dean. Weird, dude. Go hit up Millie Bobby Brown.
• 51:43
  You know, Millie Bobby Brown. And she really
• 51:48
  has turned into a hot piece of ass, hasn't she?
• 51:51
  Mm -hmm. Came out of nowhere. One second, she's
• 51:55
  11. Well, the character, whatever the number
• 51:57
  was. And all of a sudden, she's married to Bon
• 51:59
  Jovi's kid when an adopted kid in a rocking body.
• 52:03
  Like, what the frick happened? And then, of course,
• 52:06
  when Drake's album comes out, you got all the
• 52:12
  ass kisses. Everybody was on Kendrick's side
• 52:15
  in 2024 and 2025. Then all of a sudden, everybody's
• 52:21
  a go. Good job, Drake. I want you to come out.
• 52:29
  And here's Neon saying that now he's on Drake's
• 52:32
  side. Over. Kendrick Lamar's side. What a douchebag!
• 52:38
  Drake dissed you? No, he didn't. What are you
• 52:41
  talking about, bro? Drake got no beef, no problems,
• 52:43
  bro. Shout out to... Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
• 52:47
  yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! My name's Neon. I'm
• 52:50
  trying to be cool. Congratulations on Iceman,
• 52:52
  man. It was a great, great project, man. You've
• 52:53
  done your thing. You've done your thing, dork!
• 52:57
  Um, I'm glad, I'm glad that you, you know, you're,
• 52:59
  you're... I'm like Peter Rosenberg, where I'm
• 53:02
  talking urban, even though I'm not urban. You're
• 53:07
  getting the credit you deserve, man. I'm telling
• 53:09
  you to stay on that side. I'm not on the side,
• 53:10
  bro. I'm a fucking streamer. You idiot. I'm a
• 53:12
  streamer. Yeah, you are. At least you admitted
• 53:14
  it. At least you have some self -awareness. I'm
• 53:19
  a streamer. There's no sides, brother. I am a
• 53:23
  civilian. With a lot of money. And a simp. Don't
• 53:29
  pick a side. I don't. You have a Celine Powell
• 53:33
  skateboard or something hanging up on your wall.
• 53:35
  You are not a civilian. We shitted on them? I
• 53:38
  don't know what you're talking about. All right,
• 53:40
  Dan. You do your boom. He's starting to get a
• 53:43
  little like, you know. All right. We'll talk
• 53:47
  about late night TV later on. I'm not in the
• 53:50
  mood for Letterman. Let's erase the past that
• 53:54
  Letterman wasn't a douchebag. I'm the David Letterman.
• 54:00
  I liked Letterman later on. But as a kid, I would
• 54:05
  go on vacations with my Uncle Ken and he would
• 54:09
  always have to have Letterman on and I wanted
• 54:11
  to watch adults swim. So this tweet, I don't
• 54:16
  know what, this fucking Reddit post, I don't
• 54:19
  know why it got deleted. It got deleted by the
• 54:24
  moderators of the Joe Budden Network Reddit page.
• 54:27
  What the fuck? It was a collage of all the athletes
• 54:29
  tweeting out that they loved. I got to start
• 54:32
  screenshotting. It was a fuck. Ruined a bit.
• 54:36
  It was like Manziel, Jalen Brunson, LeBron. It
• 54:39
  was all these athletes kissing Drake's ass. But
• 54:41
  man, Reddit's so pussified. Here is Rick Ross
• 54:49
  talking about Drake's. Three albums that came
• 54:52
  out. Bars. Damn. Say three albums of trash albums
• 54:58
  two years too late. You know, Dwayne. It's like
• 55:03
  everybody goes, oh, Drake sucks. But then all
• 55:08
  they do is talk about Drake. It's kind of like
• 55:10
  morning radio. Like, oh, I don't like that Ryan
• 55:13
  Hoppy kid. But then you talk about me. What site
• 55:19
  is this? Complex? Complex. The Glazer University.
• 55:26
  There is a lot of glazing going on with Drake.
• 55:30
  Mm -hmm. You know he likes glaze on his back.
• 55:35
  Oh, my God. All right, there you go. 8 -5 -6.
• 55:39
  49 hopping. it's 856 -494 -6773 i was having
• 55:45
  a little bit of a panic attack why my mouth just
• 55:48
  began acting up and i was like oh no we're doing
• 55:51
  a podcast uh kanye west is partnering with um
• 55:57
  israeli businessmen for a show in georgia and
• 56:00
  says his neo -nazi past is he says his neo -nazi
• 56:04
  phase was in the past Angelina the Dirty Hamster
• 56:10
  from Jersey Shore is going to be a mom. This
• 56:18
  has got to suck, dude. Ariel Winner and Luke
• 56:20
  Benoit, and they've been a couple for six years.
• 56:24
  Ariel Winner's the hardest daughter from Modern
• 56:28
  Family with the huge boobs. And they broke up.
• 56:32
  They've been dating since 2020. Yeah, 2020 was
• 56:35
  that year we're all alone and we all met our
• 56:39
  one and only and then we ended up breaking up
• 56:41
  like Pete Davidson and his baby mama, Elise Hewitt,
• 56:43
  Elsie Hewitt. Elise didn't have a kid. Oh, that's
• 56:47
  right. Clavicular cuts a deal to avoid jail time
• 56:52
  in shooting the alligator. You know if I did
• 56:55
  it, that'd be different. A North Carolina teacher
• 56:59
  was arrested for a 2005 assault of a student.
• 57:02
  That's good. Jermaine Jackson was forced to pay
• 57:05
  his rape accuser millions of dollars. Taylor
• 57:10
  Frankie Paul, that dirty around in Bruin, said
• 57:14
  she should have left her relationship sooner.
• 57:18
  That's good. At least you know that now. Representative
• 57:24
  Maxine Waters. I don't know who this guy is,
• 57:27
  but TMZ's really been hanging out in D .C. a
• 57:30
  lot. Bothering the politicians. And she says,
• 57:35
  nobody is too old to serve. This perfectly represents
• 57:42
  the boomers that don't want to let go. Because
• 57:47
  once they retire, then they die. Man, the boomers
• 57:50
  are the most power hungry generation ever. Your
• 57:54
  family, I think it was the great generation or
• 57:57
  was it the silent generation? The one before
• 57:59
  the boomers. If they knew what you guys would
• 58:02
  become, they would be embarrassed. They probably
• 58:05
  would have aborted you guys. Here it is. Congresswoman.
• 58:12
  Yes. Jacob with TMZ. How are you? I'm fine. I'm
• 58:16
  fine. I'm wearing a wig. Good to see you. I have
• 58:20
  a question. I want to ask you something as a
• 58:22
  whiny Gen Z -er myself. She does not look like
• 58:28
  she wants to be talked to. Some people in my
• 58:31
  generation look at our leaders and think, you
• 58:34
  know what, some of these people are too old.
• 58:37
  They are! As a spry 87 -year -old, I just saw
• 58:42
  you talk at the working family. Man, she is 87.
• 58:45
  Family's press conference. What do you say to
• 58:48
  people in my generation who think, okay, some
• 58:50
  of these leaders are too old and we need to do
• 58:53
  something about it? I usually don't do press
• 58:58
  conferences as I'm walking. Oh, well, go to hell.
• 59:02
  No one cares. But let me just say that the way
• 59:08
  that people should think about elected officials.
• 59:11
  But you don't care about us. That's the problem.
• 59:13
  If you want people, don't give a shit about the
• 59:16
  future because your life's over with. Is what
• 59:20
  do they do? I'm not listening to this broad.
• 59:25
  I don't usually do press conferences, but I could
• 59:28
  have just easily walked away and ignored them.
• 59:31
  Shut up. You're a hag. You're annoying. Livvy
• 59:37
  Dunn talks about how she tried out for White
• 59:42
  Lotus and didn't make it. But Baywatch wanted
• 59:44
  her. Probably because you have to actually know
• 59:47
  how to act if you're on White Lotus. But Baywatch
• 59:49
  is about your rock and burn. That's what that
• 59:53
  is. A nothing more, a nothing less. Here is Libby
• 59:57
  Dutton with Jimmy Fallon, and I'm sure he fake
• 59:59
  laughs his way through the clip. The reboot of
• 1:00:02
  Baywatch. This is fantastic. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 1:00:09
  Originality's dead. Let's bring back the 90s.
• 1:00:13
  Oh, yeah. What the frick? Coming to Fox. In January,
• 1:00:18
  this is your acting debut. Have you had any experience
• 1:00:20
  auditioning before this show? Yeah, so actually
• 1:00:24
  my first ever audition was in person. Shout out
• 1:00:28
  my acting coach, Caroline. She's in the audience
• 1:00:30
  right now. God, that hot piece of ass. But I
• 1:00:35
  was obviously so nervous. It was different because
• 1:00:40
  gymnastics, usually you just go out there and
• 1:00:42
  perform on a four inch beam. But this, I have.
• 1:00:45
  to talk yeah and perform and play somebody else
• 1:00:48
  rather than yeah that's why you didn't get it
• 1:00:50
  the way she said i had to talk myself it was
• 1:00:53
  different because gymnastics usually you just
• 1:00:55
  go out there so she's usually just being a hot
• 1:00:57
  piece of ass working around getting lux but then
• 1:01:03
  when you actually had to do something all of
• 1:01:07
  a sudden you're like i don't know how to i'm
• 1:01:11
  a robot and perform on a four inch beam but this
• 1:01:15
  i have to talk yeah and it's hard being human
• 1:01:18
  i have to actually do things and not just be
• 1:01:21
  a hottie with a rocking body form and play somebody
• 1:01:24
  else rather than myself so it was very animal
• 1:01:27
  it was completely different i ended up not getting
• 1:01:34
  that one which It was probably a show that you
• 1:01:37
  would know, but I ended up then auditioning.
• 1:01:42
  What show? It was for White Lotus. All right,
• 1:01:47
  whatever. See what the comment section says.
• 1:01:53
  Baywatch was not looking for talented actors,
• 1:01:55
  but cheap models. There you go. 856 -49 -HOPPY.
• 1:02:02
  It's 856 -494. Six, seven, seven, three. Here's
• 1:02:07
  Drake's dad. So I guess in one of Drake's songs,
• 1:02:12
  I actually got to take a deep dive into his music
• 1:02:14
  this weekend. But in one of Drake's songs, he
• 1:02:18
  talks about how his dad had cancer. And honestly,
• 1:02:20
  as much as I love to bust Drake's balls, I like
• 1:02:26
  Drake. And I lost my dad to cancer. So I take
• 1:02:30
  that very seriously. So here is Drake's dad saying
• 1:02:34
  he doesn't have cancer. What's going on, Dennis?
• 1:02:37
  First of all, I want to say hi to you. Hi to
• 1:02:40
  you. I'm concerned, you know. I want to give
• 1:02:43
  you a hug. You know, you're like family. Yo,
• 1:02:46
  yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! You're like family.
• 1:02:51
  So, too much noise there, though. So, I was listening
• 1:02:58
  to the lyrics. The lyrics. Iceman. I'm dying.
• 1:03:02
  And Drake reveals that you are battling cancer.
• 1:03:07
  No. I don't think that's what he said. I think
• 1:03:11
  he was talking about his dad battling cancer,
• 1:03:13
  fucking moron. That was a while back. A while
• 1:03:15
  back? You're dying. What's the point of fact
• 1:03:18
  -checking? I'm okay now. You okay now? All right,
• 1:03:24
  then. You know, that paparazzi didn't do a very
• 1:03:27
  good job, but because he was able to obtain the
• 1:03:31
  clip of Drake's dad saying he didn't have cancer,
• 1:03:34
  Harvey Levin was probably happy with it, amigo.
• 1:03:38
  You know what I mean, amigo? You gotta be proud
• 1:03:41
  of him some way. It's time for side chick news.
• 1:03:57
  Side chick noise. We talking Massey today. Postin'
• 1:04:28
  healing energy while they DM huntin' Strollin'
• 1:04:30
  through the gram, all I see is double lives You
• 1:04:32
  can't tag the man, but you tag the watch He buys,
• 1:04:35
  it's inside you Who you trying to text? Got a
• 1:05:00
  ring on your hand Still shopping for the next
• 1:05:02
  P All teams stressing, trying to spin it for
• 1:05:04
  the press But the group chat memes got receipts
• 1:05:07
  on deck From the field goals missing to the model
• 1:05:09
  in the mist One post off life, next post I twist
• 1:05:13
  You a free spirit but the rent still split Funny
• 1:05:16
  how the timeline never shows that bit Look, I'm
• 1:05:19
  just reading what the headlines say I'm the voice
• 1:05:22
  in your car, you pretend you hate, uh Every fraud,
• 1:05:35
  every fling, every late night move We expose,
• 1:05:38
  we amuse Yeah, we say it like it is on an afternoon
• 1:05:41
  cruise Sidekick news Whole world tools to the
• 1:05:44
  truth You can hide from your man can Oh yeah
• 1:05:47
  Sidekick news Breaking, breaking, breaking Breaking,
• 1:05:53
  breaking, breaking, breaking Another is complicated
• 1:05:56
  situation Another we were Oh, yeah 8 -5 -6. 4
• 1:06:41
  -9 -4 -6 -7 -7 -3. You can tweet at me at RyanHobbyRadio.
• 1:06:50
  You can always email me. RyanHobbyRadio at gmail
• 1:06:53
  .com. What do we have going on right here in
• 1:07:04
  the club? Bieber has a craving, she doesn't even
• 1:07:11
  have to lift a finger. Oh, yeah, you know. She's
• 1:07:15
  a side chick. Mm -hmm. I'm very grateful and
• 1:07:20
  thankful. She is a hot piece of ass. Thankful
• 1:07:23
  for baby Jack Blues. The one good thing she does
• 1:07:26
  is she hides that kid's face. Mm -hmm. Who adorably
• 1:07:31
  feeds his mama non -stop in a new Instagram video.
• 1:07:36
  Alright, I gotta skip over this because it's
• 1:07:38
  copyrighted. It was her with her kids sucking
• 1:07:40
  on her thumb. Let's see what we got here. Time
• 1:07:47
  for Britney Spears news. So she supposedly visited
• 1:08:17
  a restaurant and was carrying a knife and barking.
• 1:08:21
  Yeah, she's bat crap crazy! Brittany News is
• 1:08:25
  bat crap crazy. Y 'all got played and the story
• 1:08:29
  got hazed. They sold you a script, y 'all caught
• 1:08:31
  it. But the cash came first, she just gave them
• 1:08:34
  a blast. Brittany News is bat crap crazy. Y 'all
• 1:08:38
  call it a maze. Turn that dial. Hoppy touch through
• 1:08:41
  the scab. Girl watch show, buddy talk like fam.
• 1:08:44
  Yeah. Throw back joints in the cup, we vibin'.
• 1:08:47
  Then we dive deep in the lousy right. Teen idols
• 1:08:50
  push like perfect angles. Every tabloid angle,
• 1:08:53
  all triangles. Spin, spin, spin till the truths
• 1:08:56
  look fake. Whole fan base fake like a birthday
• 1:08:58
  cake. You are hashtags, merch, and a wristband.
• 1:09:01
  They were private jets, you were quicksand. Bringing
• 1:09:04
  on this black crap crazy, crazy. Then the story
• 1:09:08
  got hazy They sold you a script, y 'all called
• 1:09:10
  it a cause But the cash came first, you just
• 1:09:12
  gave them a plot My opinion on this black crap
• 1:09:15
  craze They wrote the whole plot, y 'all called
• 1:09:17
  it amazing Turn that dial, Hoppy cut through
• 1:09:20
  the scam Worldwide show, but he talk like damn
• 1:09:23
  Who you trust? Them uns Who you love? Her a bust
• 1:09:27
  You know on the left, Hoppy's geek that real
• 1:09:30
  And if it sound too clean, then it ain't that
• 1:09:32
  real From the bay to the bay of Tokyo's Dizzy's
• 1:09:41
  a bitch! There you go. Alright! Let's get into
• 1:10:07
  Britney Spears. Because we know a lot of people
• 1:10:12
  have been inside of her. It's been said before
• 1:10:16
  and it can be said once more. Leave Britney Spears
• 1:10:18
  alone, her rep tells E! News. A response on behalf
• 1:10:21
  of the pop princess calling recent rumors of
• 1:10:23
  erratic behavior. Oh, my God. This is a lick
• 1:10:27
  of accountability that exists around Britney
• 1:10:31
  Spears. Oh, she didn't do anything. She's a moron.
• 1:10:35
  I'm sorry. I don't mean to be heartless. That's
• 1:10:39
  what she is! Ridiculous. Amidst internet rumors
• 1:10:42
  that Britney was allegedly wielding a knife,
• 1:10:44
  raising her voice, and even screaming and barking
• 1:10:47
  like a dog, while having dinner at the Blue Dog
• 1:10:49
  Tavern in Los Angeles, California, May 13th,
• 1:10:51
  Jeremy Winters represented... Back! Back! She
• 1:10:54
  does like dying! ...telling E! News in a statement
• 1:10:56
  May 14th that things are being completely blown
• 1:10:59
  out of proportion... She only meowed. Statement
• 1:11:02
  continues, Brittany was enjoying a quiet dinner
• 1:11:04
  with her assistant and bodyguard. She was simply
• 1:11:07
  telling the story about how her dog was barking
• 1:11:09
  at the neighbors. At no point did she put anyone
• 1:11:11
  in danger with a knife. Oh, so she was reenacting
• 1:11:14
  the barks. What a crazy broad. She is a mentally
• 1:11:21
  ill. And why do I say that? Because I'm mentally
• 1:11:26
  ill. Cutting her hamburger in half. This constant
• 1:11:29
  attack on everything that she does. And this
• 1:11:31
  is exactly what. Oh, shut up. She brought it
• 1:11:34
  upon herself by constantly being crazy in public.
• 1:11:38
  Everybody that surrounds her kisses her ass.
• 1:11:43
  Up in 20 years ago when the media tried to depict
• 1:11:45
  Britney as a bad person. She's not a bad person.
• 1:11:48
  She's annoying. Oh, yeah. Time for. Alex Earl
• 1:11:56
  News. Ron Hoppy on the air. Yeah, we back in
• 1:12:00
  this. Turn it up in your car. In your cubicle.
• 1:12:06
  Wherever you at. We got another one to talk about.
• 1:12:10
  Got it. Scroll, same face, same pose. Filter
• 1:12:17
  on thick like them fake friends' clothes Capture
• 1:12:20
  so deep it don't say one thing But the brand
• 1:12:22
  deal link always stay front page She rehearse
• 1:12:25
  that laugh that I'm just like you In a hotel
• 1:12:27
  mirror with a spontaneous view Wants a mic, wants
• 1:12:30
  the merch, wants the podcast share Say a whole
• 1:12:33
  lot of words but there's nothing really there
• 1:12:35
  Alex Ferrell is a wannabe, call her daddy Wannabe,
• 1:12:39
  wannabe Tryna copy every topic, everybody Yeah,
• 1:12:44
  I'll suck, I'll blush But it's hollow in the
• 1:12:48
  center. You forget about the dinner. Alex Pearl
• 1:12:52
  is a wannabe. That's tragic. Same script, same
• 1:12:55
  lines, all plastic. Happy hour, call it out.
• 1:12:58
  That's a habit. We allergic to the fake. Yeah,
• 1:13:02
  we got a habit. Storytime hit, but it's all prepped
• 1:13:06
  tears. Got a heartbreak arc every couple of years.
• 1:13:09
  New boy, same plot. Cue the ring like glow. Like
• 1:13:12
  we ain't seen this rerun four seasons ago. Says
• 1:13:15
  I'm real, I'm raw. hot mess queen but the hair
• 1:13:18
  never moves teeth way too clean every word sound
• 1:13:21
  clip from a promo sheet whole life one long sponsor
• 1:13:24
  me angry Alex Earl is a wannabe call a daddy
• 1:13:28
  wanna be wanna be wanna be trying to copy every
• 1:13:32
  topic everybody come on all talk all gloss but
• 1:13:37
  it's hollow in the center you forget about a
• 1:13:41
  dinner Alex Earl is a wannabe that All right,
• 1:13:45
  now. Anytime getting to be a part of anything
• 1:13:52
  with SI Swimsuit is, it's such an honor. Yeah,
• 1:13:56
  she was on Swimsuit edition of SI Magazine. As
• 1:14:01
  annoying as that thing is, she definitely is
• 1:14:05
  a hottie. No, and it's so magical when you get
• 1:14:08
  to come this week and celebrate and be together
• 1:14:11
  because it's really like once a year or this
• 1:14:13
  and maybe swim week that we all get to celebrate
• 1:14:15
  together and everyone is just so kind and uplifted.
• 1:14:18
  That's nice. I'm glad they're nice. They're not
• 1:14:21
  going to be rude to you. You're a hot piece of
• 1:14:23
  ass. You look gorgeous. This is her being asked
• 1:14:30
  about the reality show she's doing with her family.
• 1:14:35
  Her stepmom's a prostitute. And I'm being serious.
• 1:14:40
  Remember Governor Spencer? Mm -hmm. In good old
• 1:14:45
  New York, like 18 years ago. Ashley Dupree, who
• 1:14:49
  made some good porno. Mm -hmm. Yeah, now that's
• 1:14:52
  married to Alex Earle's dad. So they're doing
• 1:14:54
  a reality show about it. I wonder if they'll
• 1:14:56
  bring that up. Thank you. This is so special.
• 1:14:59
  Of course, we saw your TikTok video of your,
• 1:15:01
  where you first saw the cover and that reveal.
• 1:15:03
  But I want you to walk us through that moment
• 1:15:05
  again. What was that like for you to see that,
• 1:15:07
  to see your cover? I mean, it was, well. I love
• 1:15:10
  that little sound effect. All right, so there's
• 1:15:12
  that. There's the Alex. All right. What do we
• 1:15:19
  got going on here? What should we do? Should
• 1:15:22
  I keep going a little bit? I'm ready to go right
• 1:15:25
  now. Give me the green light. Give me just one
• 1:15:30
  night. I sound just like John Legend, don't I?
• 1:15:37
  Jason Biggs and Jenny Mullen are closing their
• 1:15:40
  romantic chapter. You know what the biggest mistake
• 1:15:43
  Jason Biggs' life was? No, it was not marrying
• 1:15:48
  that woman. He declined to play, I think the
• 1:15:51
  name of the character was Ted. from How I Met
• 1:15:54
  Your Mother, he declined it. And I believe he
• 1:15:59
  either chose a movie that didn't do well or like
• 1:16:01
  a short -lived sitcom. But yeah, he passed up
• 1:16:04
  on How I Met Your Mother. And he would have been
• 1:16:06
  better because that character was annoying. After
• 1:16:08
  nearly 20 years of marriage, a rap for the couple
• 1:16:11
  confirms to E! News that Is any relationship
• 1:16:14
  going to make it anymore? It doesn't feel like
• 1:16:17
  it. Feels like every relationship is doomed from
• 1:16:21
  the start. And after 20 years of marriage, the
• 1:16:25
  Angel alum and the American Pie star have broken
• 1:16:28
  up. The news of the duo's split comes six months
• 1:16:31
  after they last stepped out together to attend
• 1:16:34
  the 43rd Torino Film Festival in Italy. And that's
• 1:16:38
  proof you never know what's going on with a couple
• 1:16:42
  because they're out in the back and they seem
• 1:16:45
  so happy. 2025. Biggs and Mullen, who shared
• 1:16:52
  two sons together, first met in 2007 while auditioning
• 1:16:56
  for My Best Friend's Girl. Yeah, it didn't really
• 1:16:59
  take off, did it? Mm -hmm. He should have, but
• 1:17:02
  then if he would have gone on How I Met Your
• 1:17:03
  Mother, he would have never met her. And I wonder
• 1:17:06
  if, you know, that drives him nuts. You know
• 1:17:10
  the regret he feels for not doing that probably
• 1:17:12
  kills him inside. It would kill me! Ellen has
• 1:17:17
  joked that it didn't take long for the duo to
• 1:17:19
  hit it off, noting they were married in a FedEx
• 1:17:21
  Kinko's parking lot in Calabasas just nine months
• 1:17:24
  later. Although Austin was a wrecked marriage.
• 1:17:28
  The pair's whirlwind romance took less than a
• 1:17:30
  year to become a marriage. The I like you just
• 1:17:33
  the way I saw it didn't work out. Michelle Obama
• 1:17:40
  has a night out with her daughters, Malia and
• 1:17:42
  Sasha. I don't know. I like older women. I thought
• 1:17:46
  she was hard as hell. And I'm being serious.
• 1:17:49
  I don't like when people call her Mike Obama.
• 1:17:51
  That's racist. And you're pretty much telling
• 1:17:56
  us that you are an insult. Shortly after Mother's
• 1:18:01
  Day, Malia and Sasha Obama brought their mom
• 1:18:03
  Michelle to Funke Restaurant for a rare outing
• 1:18:06
  in Los Angeles on May 11th. The crew keeps the
• 1:18:09
  vibe casual with Michelle sporting distressed
• 1:18:11
  jeans and a green trucker hat. Meanwhile, Malia
• 1:18:14
  dons a knee -length floral dress with black boots
• 1:18:17
  and Sasha opts for a denim -on -denim ensemble.
• 1:18:20
  Alright, so they look hot. Nicholas Cage is celebrating
• 1:18:27
  a rare date night with his wife. Oh, yeah. He
• 1:18:31
  seems like a good -ass dude. His son's a little
• 1:18:34
  weird, but so am I. The 62 -year -old Oscar -winning
• 1:18:39
  actor. He's 62. Oh, my gosh. I mean, it makes
• 1:18:42
  sense with the passage of time and whatnot. Nicolas
• 1:18:46
  Cage is 62. He stepped out with his 31 -year
• 1:18:50
  -old wife, Rico Shibata, at the premiere of his
• 1:18:52
  new prime video series, Spider Noir. I'll be
• 1:18:55
  sure not to see him. He must have some deal.
• 1:19:00
  With Amazon Prime, because there was that story
• 1:19:02
  that he had to pay off that debt. But it seems
• 1:19:04
  like he's always on Amazon Prime. It's like a
• 1:19:08
  Friday night and you're looking for something
• 1:19:11
  to watch. It's Amazon Prime with Nicolas Cage.
• 1:19:15
  But when you get my age, you have one orgasm
• 1:19:21
  in the last three days. Pam Breer is keeping
• 1:19:23
  it real about getting older. Oh, yeah. So Pam
• 1:19:27
  Greer says her orgasms last for three days. Man,
• 1:19:29
  if mine lasts more than 20 seconds, I'm straggling.
• 1:19:33
  And her sex life. During the May 13th episode
• 1:19:36
  of the Wiser Than Me podcast, host Julia Louis
• 1:19:39
  -Dreyfus. Oh, that hot piece of ass. Asked Pam
• 1:19:42
  a simple question. Does she still feel young?
• 1:19:45
  And let's just say the actress doesn't hold back.
• 1:19:49
  Oh, yeah. That's what they all say in these clips.
• 1:19:51
  Oh, they don't hold back. They don't hold back.
• 1:19:55
  Good for you. Jackie Brownstar candidly reveals.
• 1:20:01
  Yes, I do. Because when you're young, you can
• 1:20:03
  have three, four, five orgasms in an hour. But
• 1:20:06
  when you get my age. Well, that's women. Women's
• 1:20:08
  orgasms. The girl can be on top. And she's like,
• 1:20:10
  I've orgasmed three times. And I'm like, I'm
• 1:20:13
  trying to get there. Give me a second. Let me
• 1:20:16
  go to pound town. This whiskey ain't helping.
• 1:20:19
  You have one orgasm in the last three days. You
• 1:20:22
  know what's the worst? I know guys out there
• 1:20:25
  can relate to this, but no one says it, but I'll
• 1:20:27
  say it. The absolute worst is when you didn't
• 1:20:30
  pee. And you're going at it with a girl, and
• 1:20:34
  you're like, oh, crap. That ain't the other.
• 1:20:38
  Release that, I gotta pee. Understandably, Julia
• 1:20:41
  is stunned. You do you, boo. Today on TMZ. Okay,
• 1:20:55
  I love Catherine McPhee, but when it comes to
• 1:20:59
  changing lyrics of a song, she is not better
• 1:21:02
  than all the rest. God, is she hot. Mmm, I would
• 1:21:06
  bring the ruckus with hot. David Foster and Catherine
• 1:21:10
  McPhee had a big fundraiser for Spencer Pratt.
• 1:21:13
  Oh, damn it, Foster seems like an absolute clot.
• 1:21:16
  Catherine McPhee starts singing Simply the Best,
• 1:21:18
  but she changes the lyrics to Spencer is Simply
• 1:21:20
  the Best. Oh, that's so creative. And it's a
• 1:21:24
  lie. You would think Spencer would. He's better
• 1:21:32
  than Karen. He's better than Karen Bass with
• 1:21:34
  the lyrics. That is so hacky. Just be rocking
• 1:21:37
  out to this, right? Damn, he really looks like
• 1:21:39
  he's enjoying it. Yeah, he's like, what the fuck's
• 1:21:42
  going on here? I'll cheat on my wife later with
• 1:21:45
  her. Travis Kelsey said that he has no issue
• 1:21:49
  being like the plus one of Taylor Swift. Yeah,
• 1:21:52
  you're a beta male. How nice is it to be the
• 1:21:56
  less famous person in your relationship? Huge
• 1:22:01
  relief. You know what I will say? I don't think
• 1:22:04
  Travis gets enough credit for making Taylor more
• 1:22:08
  famous. Now I know, people. I've said this before
• 1:22:12
  and all the women I brought this up to they're
• 1:22:15
  all like well yeah you know that ain't true he
• 1:22:17
  made her more she made him more famous but he
• 1:22:20
  also made her famous within the NFL community
• 1:22:23
  laughing Do you know how much more famous he
• 1:22:29
  is with her than without her? Obviously, she
• 1:22:32
  has benefited him, but then he has benefited
• 1:22:33
  her now, too. Exactly! All of them benefited
• 1:22:36
  greatly from their relationship. Everybody she
• 1:22:38
  dates, she uses as inspiration. If she could
• 1:22:41
  date me, it'd be great for her. Oh, yeah, right!
• 1:22:46
  Scooter Braun and Sidney Sweeney are in love.
• 1:22:48
  She posted them kissing. God, if you have that
• 1:22:52
  woman on your lap every night, you must just
• 1:22:55
  be enjoying it. It must be the greatest feeling
• 1:22:58
  ever. Non -stop, they are dancing. I'm just dancing,
• 1:23:02
  romancing. Telling you they're going to get married.
• 1:23:05
  I don't know. Scooter Braun getting married to
• 1:23:08
  her. What was Anthony DeVino or whatever her
• 1:23:12
  ex's name? You know he's crying himself to sleep.
• 1:23:17
  There's nothing worse than thinking about your
• 1:23:19
  ex getting plowed or scissoring. This is Vin
• 1:23:28
  Diesel crying about Paul Walker. He loved his
• 1:23:35
  16 year olds. Man, he does not know how to talk.
• 1:23:46
  He's so weird. Here's the clip. Pumpkin's axe.
• 1:23:52
  Pumpkin from Marma June Show. Pumpkin's axe.
• 1:23:58
  Josh ghosted Jessica's wedding. And here's the
• 1:24:00
  white trash recap. You're still not going to
• 1:24:02
  spill no tea about what Josh said? He's a grown
• 1:24:06
  ass man. He comes, he come. What do you mean
• 1:24:10
  if Josh comes, he comes? You didn't make him
• 1:24:13
  come that much. He's the one supposed to be officiating
• 1:24:15
  this whole thing. What did he tell you? He didn't
• 1:24:18
  tell me anything. You're white trash. I got a
• 1:24:22
  piece of his secret epiphy. I'm not that secret.
• 1:24:25
  All right. God, it's like the movie Idiocracy.
• 1:24:27
  Think about it. I say this every show. You know,
• 1:24:31
  there's a couple out there trying so hard to
• 1:24:34
  have kids. Cute. And then that moron just reproduces
• 1:24:39
  being mom of Jared and her dumb kids. Nile Horn
• 1:24:45
  is not attending Harry Styles' wedding. Yeah,
• 1:24:48
  they don't seem like they really get along. The
• 1:24:53
  former One Direction member sat down with The
• 1:24:55
  Edge New Zealand in an interview published May
• 1:24:57
  13th. One asked if he has any weddings coming
• 1:25:00
  up of anyone he used to work with, with the host
• 1:25:03
  implying Harry Styles' future wedding to Zoe
• 1:25:05
  Kravitz. Nile says, I'm not going. If that's
• 1:25:10
  what you're asking, I'm a busy man. No, you're
• 1:25:12
  never too busy for somebody. You just don't get
• 1:25:14
  along with them. And you're being passive. Aggressive!
• 1:25:20
  And you're not being genuine. That's probably
• 1:25:21
  why your career hasn't taken off. Oh, yeah. What
• 1:25:28
  do we got right here? Duck Dynasty star Alan
• 1:25:31
  Robertson is reflecting on his 40 -year marriage
• 1:25:34
  to wife Lisa. Oh, yeah, you know, she cheated
• 1:25:37
  on him. ...feeling an affair that almost broke
• 1:25:39
  the couple up, but in... Yeah, you know, he probably
• 1:25:41
  cheated too. It's that bitter -eyed morning radio
• 1:25:44
  host that whips somebody's ass and cheats on
• 1:25:47
  their wife all the time. And it's always when
• 1:25:50
  the woman starts banging someone else, it drives
• 1:25:54
  them nuts. ...instead made them find their way
• 1:25:56
  back to one another. In an interview with Fox
• 1:25:58
  News... Digital published May 15th, Allen and
• 1:26:01
  Lisa discussing their decades -long relationship.
• 1:26:04
  You know he is a small penis. Admitting to Lisa's
• 1:26:06
  affair with an old boyfriend 15 years into their
• 1:26:10
  marriage. Oh, yeah! Allen telling Fox News the
• 1:26:14
  two agreed to a temporary... Of course he told
• 1:26:16
  Fox News. Mm -hmm. Separation when he found out
• 1:26:19
  about his wife's affair. Oh, what a beta male.
• 1:26:21
  You went back? You know she's been plowed by
• 1:26:26
  other guys since then. However, the two ultimately
• 1:26:29
  reconciled. Oh, that's stepping. Bye. I really
• 1:26:35
  see a little bitch. But I'm also not a dumb redneck.
• 1:26:40
  So whatever. Honestly, I couldn't be more excited.
• 1:26:47
  As you know, it's been my dream forever since
• 1:26:50
  I was a little kid. Pete Davidson achieved his
• 1:26:53
  dream of becoming a dad with girlfriend Elsie
• 1:26:55
  Hewitt. I am in a breakup. She seems real high
• 1:27:00
  maintenance. I'm just stoked. But ET can confirm
• 1:27:04
  their fairy tale romance has come to an end.
• 1:27:07
  Pete, you got to figure it out, dog. Five months
• 1:27:12
  after welcoming their daughter, Scotty. This
• 1:27:14
  is coming from someone that's been through like
• 1:27:16
  50 women and can't figure it out either, so I
• 1:27:18
  can see it through them and me. I've been fortunate
• 1:27:21
  enough to have some great relationships. A source
• 1:27:23
  telling ET Pete and Elsie are dunzo, but trying
• 1:27:27
  to work through what the future looks like for
• 1:27:29
  them, considering their baby is the priority.
• 1:27:32
  That's good. I'll help you figure it out, Pete.
• 1:27:34
  Mm -hmm. Whoa! Happy Hot Topic! Hot Topic! Come
• 1:27:41
  here. This way. That's what Mike Calta sounds
• 1:27:43
  like when he first wakes up. Come here. This
• 1:27:46
  way. No. Come on. The pig doth protest, but so
• 1:27:51
  did the neighbors who called 911 after seeing
• 1:27:54
  the animal wandering around their neighborhood.
• 1:27:56
  This is Hamlet. Oh, yeah, you know, you got a
• 1:28:00
  pig being chased by a cop. So it's a pig chasing
• 1:28:03
  a pig. Something was rotten in the state of Ohio.
• 1:28:09
  Our Ohio's rotten. They're very mean. Aww, he's
• 1:28:14
  a cute little piggy. As long as he was away from
• 1:28:17
  home, while he charmed the responding officers,
• 1:28:19
  they were still committed to reuniting him with
• 1:28:22
  his family. A neighbor who believed he knew which
• 1:28:25
  house was the pig's helped get him back there.
• 1:28:28
  Alright, so that worked out. And then the other
• 1:28:35
  pig went home and saw his wife cheating on him.
• 1:28:38
  I didn't know you were addicted to ketamine.
• 1:28:39
  Oh, here's Zach Sangler. I used to talk to him
• 1:28:44
  a little bit. And he's really blown up. It's
• 1:28:49
  good for him. But man, he's one of those radio
• 1:28:52
  guys that once he blows up, you never hear from
• 1:28:56
  him. He has the menis disease. I didn't know
• 1:28:59
  you were addicted to ketamine. It was anything
• 1:29:02
  to make me numb at any given time. It's truly
• 1:29:05
  a miracle I didn't take my life. Joshua Bassett
• 1:29:08
  detailing his harrowing experience with ketamine
• 1:29:11
  addiction. This is after dealing with Olivia
• 1:29:14
  Rodrigo drama. Yeah! You know that hot piece
• 1:29:17
  of ass who tried to ruin your life? Admitting
• 1:29:20
  he turned to drugs to escape reality. Amid his
• 1:29:23
  high -profile romance with high school musical
• 1:29:25
  The Musical, the series co -star Olivia Rodrigo.
• 1:29:29
  God, she's so hot, but you know, if she's doing
• 1:29:31
  a song talking about a sociopath, listen to her!
• 1:29:35
  Because that's what she is. Which ended just
• 1:29:37
  before the release of her tell -all track, Driver's
• 1:29:40
  License. Alright, so they're going to have music
• 1:29:42
  in it, but... Yeah. Speaking of ketamine... This
• 1:29:46
  morning, the drug addiction counselor who delivered
• 1:29:51
  Friends star Matthew Perry the doses of ketamine
• 1:29:54
  that eventually killed him has been sentenced
• 1:29:56
  to two years behind bars. Loser! I'm regretfully
• 1:30:02
  sorry. And, um... I wish I could take it back.
• 1:30:06
  All right, well, I'm burning now. Although Matthew
• 1:30:09
  needs to take some accountability from purgatory.
• 1:30:12
  Okay, so it looks like there are a lot of questions
• 1:30:21
  right now about what's going on at the FDA. So
• 1:30:24
  we're following. Yeah, we always are curious.
• 1:30:26
  Because there are more runs. And they usually
• 1:30:30
  side with things that make the money. those clicks
• 1:30:33
  and curiosity and it looks like you guys want
• 1:30:35
  to know more about why the agency's commissioner
• 1:30:37
  is stepping down and i don't care so they the
• 1:30:41
  clip was going to say they authorized two fruit
• 1:30:43
  flavored vapes oh that's good Survivor's Jeff
• 1:30:50
  Probst is addressing the Zac Brown cameo backlash.
• 1:30:53
  After many Survivor fans... Man, if you're offended
• 1:30:55
  by that, you need to realize life is short and
• 1:30:58
  it doesn't matter. Fans were upset over the amount
• 1:31:01
  of screen time the country singer received on
• 1:31:03
  a recent episode of the show's 50th season. The
• 1:31:06
  longtime Survivor host addresses the criticism,
• 1:31:08
  telling Variety in an interview published on
• 1:31:11
  May 13th, It's fascinating to me that a couple
• 1:31:14
  of people, most of them either former players
• 1:31:16
  or people who will never play... criticize the
• 1:31:19
  show, and it gets momentum. I tell anyone who
• 1:31:22
  wants to listen, if that's your goal to somehow
• 1:31:24
  impact our point of view, it will fail. Yeah,
• 1:31:27
  they're on like season 50 million. It's never
• 1:31:29
  going to go away. Charlie Keough is turning heads
• 1:31:35
  and possibly breaking Canfield. And giving head.
• 1:31:40
  Hopefully without teeth. Festival dress code
• 1:31:43
  rules. In a sheer look that has onlookers all
• 1:31:45
  shook up. All shook up, dude. Around the rules
• 1:31:48
  of the dress code of the 2026 Cannes Film Festival.
• 1:31:52
  So she wore an outfit that offended people. There
• 1:31:54
  you go. What do we got right here in nepotism?
• 1:31:59
  I wonder if the Joe show talked about this. They
• 1:32:05
  call me. Biggie, Jenna Bush Hager is not thrilled
• 1:32:09
  about her new family nickname. Oh, yeah, you
• 1:32:12
  know, you should be lucky. I mean, you are lucky.
• 1:32:15
  You should be grateful that you got the job because
• 1:32:18
  you're a daddy. I'm not saying you're not good
• 1:32:22
  on TV. But if your last name was not Bush, you
• 1:32:25
  wouldn't be on that show. During the May 13th
• 1:32:28
  episode of Today with Jenna and Chanel, Jenna,
• 1:32:31
  who's mom to daughters 13 -year -old Mila and
• 1:32:34
  10 -year -old Poppy, God, Jenna, you can say
• 1:32:37
  what you want. She is hot. Well, a six -year
• 1:32:39
  -old son, Hal, reveals that her three kids have
• 1:32:42
  officially retired mom and replaced it with Biggie.
• 1:32:49
  Explaining. I'm like, okay, Biggie. And I'm like,
• 1:32:52
  what? Excuse me? Yeah, you know, it's got to
• 1:32:55
  be kind of humbling. You're the president's daughter.
• 1:32:58
  You're used to everyone kissing your ass. Reveals
• 1:33:01
  where the name actually stems from. Adding the
• 1:33:04
  root word is big back with her eldest. All right.
• 1:33:08
  I'm coming back. Eight, five, six, 49. Happy.
• 1:33:12
  Happy hot topic. Girl clouds. Ryan Lochte claps
• 1:33:18
  back at the Internet's reaction to his new look.
• 1:33:21
  Yeah, who cares? I'm stupid. After seeing the
• 1:33:41
  internet's response, his girlfriend, Molly Gillihan,
• 1:33:44
  shares a video to Instagram on May 14th. You
• 1:33:48
  know, she's dating him for that riveting. Personality.
• 1:33:53
  When I think of Ryan Lochte, I think of a riveting
• 1:33:55
  personality. Ryan. My phone is blowing up with
• 1:34:01
  everyone saying that nobody recognizes you. But
• 1:34:04
  Ryan is. That's good. Maybe you can be a little
• 1:34:06
  more anonymous and go away. Isn't exactly losing
• 1:34:08
  sleep over it. Whatever. He just swims his life
• 1:34:12
  away. Don't know what that means. And we're comparing
• 1:34:15
  his current look to photos from his 2012 Olympics
• 1:34:18
  era. We're in 2026. He got a little chubby. What's
• 1:34:24
  that, 14 years? They're all. All right, there
• 1:34:26
  you go. Ryan Markdown. He sounds a little less
• 1:34:30
  stupid. Maybe she helps him. Oh, yeah. What have
• 1:34:36
  you got going on? With a Benny Blanco. Selena
• 1:34:43
  Gomez's stomach wants what it wants. Whether
• 1:34:45
  that's fast food for breakfast or, according
• 1:34:48
  to her husband, Benny Blanco, anything a five
• 1:34:50
  -year -old would eat. Either she's really going
• 1:34:55
  to be able to laugh at this headline, or she's
• 1:34:57
  going to be really offended. Benny chatting with
• 1:35:00
  Gwyneth Paltrow at a Goof podcast taping May
• 1:35:02
  12th, per the Daily Mail, revealing Selena prefers
• 1:35:05
  to eat whatever is bad for your diet. Me too,
• 1:35:08
  baby doll. Adding, Selena has the diet of a five
• 1:35:11
  -year -old child. This morning, I walked in,
• 1:35:13
  and she was eating Jack in the Box at 6 .45 in
• 1:35:15
  the morning. Yeah, she was farting a lot. Though
• 1:35:18
  Benny confessed his wife doesn't really like
• 1:35:20
  fruits or vegetables, the music producer I did
• 1:35:23
  acknowledge the one healthy thing Selena enjoys.
• 1:35:26
  What? She will eat the shit out of Goop. All
• 1:35:29
  right, Goop. Gross. Celebrities are so strange.
• 1:35:35
  Ariel Winter and Luke Benward are calling it
• 1:35:40
  quits. Oh, yeah. We talked about this earlier.
• 1:35:43
  But this is a COVID relationship that couldn't
• 1:35:46
  last. Nearly six years after E! News confirmed
• 1:35:50
  the pair were dating, the couple - Oh, E! News
• 1:35:52
  confirmed it! I'm sure it totally wasn't TMZ
• 1:35:57
  first. Gone their separate ways, Ariel confirmed
• 1:36:00
  May 14th. Commenting under People's May 14th
• 1:36:03
  Instagram post, she said, quote, He's still one
• 1:36:06
  of my best friends, a great human being, and
• 1:36:08
  a great pup co -parent. Oh, that's gotta make
• 1:36:10
  you feel terrible. Mm -hmm. He's still a good
• 1:36:13
  friend! That's not what you want! Just because
• 1:36:16
  sometimes people aren't meant to be doesn't mean
• 1:36:19
  you don't still appreciate the time spent and
• 1:36:21
  retain the friendship you shared. I'm going to
• 1:36:23
  miss those boobies. No! Don't leave me! Happy
• 1:36:28
  Hot Topic! Here's a Jersey Shore cast. We are
• 1:36:32
  the Avengers of reality TV when we come together.
• 1:36:36
  I'm anorexic, bro. He's like, Mom, what is this?
• 1:36:40
  And it's me getting arrested on the beach. Oh,
• 1:36:42
  yeah, you know, a lot of them have kids, and
• 1:36:46
  they got to respond to their past. We clash,
• 1:36:50
  but we get along. She looks dirty. I feel stupid
• 1:36:54
  for listening to that, and I love Jersey Shore.
• 1:36:58
  And Angelina is really starting to look like
• 1:37:00
  an actual hamster. Kiefer Sutherland is the latest
• 1:37:07
  celebrity to cancel a music tour due to various
• 1:37:10
  reasons. I'm going to be honest. I think the
• 1:37:15
  biggest problem was I didn't even know Kiefer
• 1:37:17
  Sutherland sang. His, however, made clear low
• 1:37:21
  ticket sales. Kiefer writing in an Instagram
• 1:37:23
  post May 15th. With great disappointment, I am
• 1:37:26
  going to have to cancel the U .S. leg of my tour
• 1:37:28
  due to very low ticket sales. Bye. See you later,
• 1:37:32
  baby doll. Fuck. I can't play this because of
• 1:37:39
  copyright. But Ludacris bought his wife a $500
• 1:37:44
  ,000 car. So you know someone cheated recently.
• 1:37:52
  Today on TMZ. Okay, so suppose you're eating
• 1:37:56
  dinner at a restaurant and Britney Spears walks
• 1:37:59
  past you with a knife. What do you psychopath
• 1:38:02
  do? We got photos of Britney at dinner. We're
• 1:38:06
  told she took the knife from the table and was
• 1:38:09
  walking around the restaurant with it. Come on,
• 1:38:11
  grow up! You're 40 years old! People inside the
• 1:38:14
  restaurant tell us it was quite alarming. Wait,
• 1:38:16
  wait, wait, wait. So she gets up from the table
• 1:38:18
  holding the knife. And is walking around the
• 1:38:20
  restaurant with the knife. What a crazy run.
• 1:38:23
  Now we know what was behind the argument between
• 1:38:25
  Cardi B and Stefan Diggs outside of a coffee
• 1:38:28
  shop. She was hungry. Cardi. What an annoying
• 1:38:30
  broad chance. Is addressed it. She says, damn,
• 1:38:33
  y 'all ain't never cussed your baby dad out when
• 1:38:35
  you're hungry? I don't buy it because she was
• 1:38:36
  inside the restaurant. Yeah, there were witnesses
• 1:38:38
  claiming that they could hear her saying, that
• 1:38:40
  girl's messy. She's messy. Cardi's messy. Well,
• 1:38:47
  maybe it was somebody eating in the restaurant.
• 1:38:51
  AOC is weighing in on Spencer Pratt. God, I'm
• 1:38:55
  starting to fall in love with her. AOC's so hot,
• 1:39:00
  it's crazy. Run for mayor. Cortez. In politics,
• 1:39:05
  you just have to present yourself. Maybe it's
• 1:39:07
  because she's Puerto Rican, man. She's just so
• 1:39:09
  freaking fine. Ow. Speaking of politics, guess
• 1:39:17
  who's back from Washington, D .C.? They all did
• 1:39:21
  their thing and bothered people over there. Good
• 1:39:23
  for them. What have we got here? John Travolta
• 1:39:31
  and daughter Ella have a father -daughter date
• 1:39:34
  night on the can red carpet. The 72 -year -old
• 1:39:37
  actor and his 26 -year -old daughter. Man, he
• 1:39:40
  looks good for 72. Scientology does not make
• 1:39:43
  you age or anything. All right, so he got that.
• 1:39:53
  Good for him. Heard he's a very nice guy, despite
• 1:39:56
  the Scientology. We talked about it and we were
• 1:40:02
  like, that would be too ridiculous. That would
• 1:40:04
  be, and it would take up all this time in the
• 1:40:06
  cold open. It would seem like we wouldn't. And
• 1:40:08
  then he for real did it. Jimmy fell on with his
• 1:40:14
  fake laugh. He for real did it. I'm coked up.
• 1:40:18
  Two weeks later. Oh my God. Colin Jost may have
• 1:40:22
  accidentally tapped into psychic powers he didn't
• 1:40:25
  know he had. All right, so. The Saturday Night
• 1:40:29
  Live star has been earning raves for his betrayal
• 1:40:31
  of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth on The Loser
• 1:40:34
  Douchebag, the legendary sketch series. And he
• 1:40:40
  told Jimmy Fallon during a recent Tonight Show
• 1:40:42
  interview that Art ended up imitating life in
• 1:40:45
  a truly unexpected and even eerie way. Hegseth
• 1:40:49
  himself made headlines in recent weeks. All right,
• 1:40:52
  so he predicted this. Hegseth is such a twat.
• 1:40:55
  When I worked with Tom Bernard, he told me how
• 1:40:58
  much of a douche he is. Speaking of this douchebag.
• 1:41:03
  After being tried for a third time on charges
• 1:41:06
  of rape, Harvey Weinstein's latest legal case
• 1:41:09
  once again ended in a mistrial. If there's anybody
• 1:41:12
  out there that thinks he's innocent, you are
• 1:41:14
  a stupid, moronic contrarian. Of course he's
• 1:41:19
  guilty. You're all a bunch of morons. What's
• 1:41:28
  not unanimous? We all know he did it. This is
• 1:41:32
  what drives me nuts about the judicial system
• 1:41:35
  in America. You always have the contrarians that
• 1:41:39
  view it differently. Of course he did it. and
• 1:41:42
  he's walking in with his cane oh shut up reports
• 1:41:46
  weinstein is accused of allegedly raping actress
• 1:41:49
  and hair stylist jessica man in a new york city
• 1:41:52
  hotel room in 2013. if you have to rape a girl
• 1:41:57
  not only are you a failure in life but you have
• 1:41:59
  no game his lawyers claim the encounter was consensual
• 1:42:04
  something jessica denies no one wants to bang
• 1:42:07
  him he looks like freaking shrek Actually, that's
• 1:42:11
  insulting to Shrek. Saying she resisted and repeatedly
• 1:42:14
  told Weinstein no during. You can always kind
• 1:42:16
  of tell if someone's lying or not, but her face,
• 1:42:20
  she looks traumatized. The incident. Jessica
• 1:42:24
  first told her story to a jury in 2020 when Weinstein
• 1:42:27
  pleaded not guilty. He was later found guilty
• 1:42:29
  of third degree rape and one count of criminal
• 1:42:32
  sexual acts in the first degree. Moron. Leaving
• 1:42:35
  a 23 year prison sentence. If you think he's
• 1:42:39
  innocent, I don't. I want you to listen to my
• 1:42:40
  show. That conviction was overturned, however,
• 1:42:42
  four years later after New York's highest court
• 1:42:45
  determined improper testimony had been allowed
• 1:42:47
  at trial. Oops. That is why you got to make sure
• 1:42:51
  you bring legit evidence to court. Because sometimes
• 1:42:54
  it'll bite you in the ass. Every time. Case was
• 1:42:59
  retried in 2025, but the jury was unable to reach
• 1:43:02
  a verdict on the third degree rape charge related
• 1:43:04
  to Jessica's accusation. Here's what I want to
• 1:43:07
  do. Mm -hmm. To anybody that found him innocent,
• 1:43:11
  I just want to bitch slap you. Mm -hmm. Just
• 1:43:15
  want to slap you. Think you're the worst. How
• 1:43:21
  could you think he's innocent? Would you let
• 1:43:23
  him near your daughter? If so, you're a moron.
• 1:43:27
  There you go. 856 -49 -HOPPY. Oh, it's time for
• 1:43:33
  David at Beckham News. Yay. Turn it up, turn
• 1:43:41
  it up. We talk my talk real quick. Put up late,
• 1:43:47
  still first on the sheet Been bendin' these corners,
• 1:43:50
  I've been runnin' these streets They scrollin'
• 1:43:52
  for the cameras, I scrollin' for the stats Got
• 1:43:54
  trophies in my mind, they just posin' for the
• 1:43:56
  flash Everybody worship what the tabloids tell
• 1:43:59
  But they don't see the work, they just buy that
• 1:44:01
  shell I ain't hatin' on the hustle, I just hate
• 1:44:04
  the act Built on PR teams and a filtered past
• 1:44:07
  I ain't tryna be back on that vibe, treasure
• 1:44:09
  me Old Bramble Hollow, just plaid I came from
• 1:44:29
  the quiet where the lights don't reach, where
• 1:44:31
  dreams ain't sponsored, they just bleed each
• 1:44:33
  week, they float on the room or I float on the
• 1:44:35
  beat, they Flexin' on the yacht, I'm investin'
• 1:44:38
  in the team I'd rather live my block than chase
• 1:44:40
  that fame They'd rather chase a lens than change
• 1:44:43
  that game If Icon means shallow, then keep that
• 1:44:46
  tag You can have that mirror, I'll keep my bag
• 1:44:49
  I ain't tryna be Beckham, that vibe pressure
• 1:44:51
  me Whole brain for hollow, just blast it to me
• 1:44:54
  They live for the gossip, I'm past the feed David
• 1:44:57
  Beckham and his family, that's whack to me I
• 1:44:59
  ain't tryna be Beckham, that's last to me All
• 1:45:02
  press, no soul, that's a casualty They pose Sweet
• 1:45:05
  grind, that's a gap, you see David Beckham and
• 1:45:08
  his family, that's whack to me David Beckham
• 1:45:13
  reaches billionaire status. Who cares? You can't
• 1:45:17
  buy class. Soccer star officially becomes the
• 1:45:20
  first British pro -athlete to surpass billionaire
• 1:45:23
  status according to the Sunday Times Rich List,
• 1:45:26
  which estimates his and wife Victoria Beckham's
• 1:45:29
  combined net worth at a cool $1 .6 billion. Whatever,
• 1:45:34
  it doesn't mean you're cool. If anything, it
• 1:45:36
  means you're a loser. Because you're a part of
• 1:45:38
  the 1%. And nobody cares. All right. I've been
• 1:45:41
  renting for how long? Let me see here. Let me
• 1:45:45
  see. Hour and 30 minutes. Like my boss MJ says,
• 1:45:50
  an hour and 30 minutes to nonstop MJ. Well, this
• 1:45:53
  was an hour and 30 minutes to nonstop Hoppy.
• 1:45:54
  You can tell he's had an influence on me. We'll
• 1:45:57
  be right back. Hang on. RyanHoppyRadio .com Hoppy
• 1:46:14
  Hour will be right back. You probably had Taco
• 1:46:16
  Bell before. Whenever we're going outside, all
• 1:46:20
  I smell is poop. And we'll call it a day. The
• 1:46:27
  semen was so big. As a reminder, if you don't
• 1:46:30
  feel like listening to this next song, you can
• 1:46:32
  skip over it. But Ryan Hoppy of Hoppy Hour takes
• 1:46:35
  pride in his selection, so stick around, folks.
• 1:46:37
  Oh, yeah! Hurry Fresno, copy hour will be right
• 1:46:42
  back. Now if you're listening on Hot 97 .7, it's
• 1:46:47
  Monday morning, but this would have made no sense,
• 1:46:49
  but we recorded on Saturday. It's pre -recorded,
• 1:46:52
  this just in. So a lot of radio DJs like Mason
• 1:46:55
  Dixon in Tampa did the Friday, Friday, Friday
• 1:46:59
  chant. When we celebrate the weekend, as I'm
• 1:47:01
  sweating, we do every day my weekend. But when
• 1:47:07
  DJ Hunk does it, it sounds better. Every day,
• 1:47:20
  every day, every day, every day. Every day my
• 1:47:23
  weekend. Every day my weekend. Every day my weekend.
• 1:47:48
  Bitch, I'm the boss, so they think that I'm You
• 1:48:05
  don't want this kind of beat You don't want this
• 1:48:15
  kind of beat Versus nigga, you just sweet like
• 1:48:23
  Hershey's Even in between, your girl fouls me
• 1:48:26
  So pass it Every day my weekend And I ball And
• 1:48:31
  I ball every night Every day my weekend We gon'
• 1:48:37
  ball Bitches jockin' like a motherfucker 13,
• 1:49:42
  we get pure bottle Poppin' like a motherfucker
• 1:49:44
  Friday, we get bigger Ayy, you know I fuck with
• 1:49:47
  bitches Overdosen' on a strong rollin' quarter
• 1:49:55
  I don't end while you lame niggas look bitch.
• 1:49:57
  Even on a Sunday, I don't take a day. Y 'all
• 1:50:01
  was clubbing in that station. And my nigga, you
• 1:50:03
  ain't alone. You can see the insides. First,
• 1:50:06
  they take their shirt off. Second, when they
• 1:50:08
  hear our songs, then they take their skirts off.
• 1:50:10
  Third, she gonna serve us. Mouse stick her tongue
• 1:50:13
  out. Four hours later, fuck us all. I was like,
• 1:50:16
  wow. Y 'all got milk money. Bitch, nigga, I'm
• 1:50:19
  a cash cow. Every day, my weekend, living life
• 1:50:22
  on a fast. Don't have every day by me. We'll
• 1:50:31
  see you next time. Oh, yeah. It's every day of
• 1:51:19
  my weekend. Let's get back to it. Welcome to.
• 1:51:38
  DOOR IS CLOSING Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.
• 1:52:54
  I came to dance. Y 'all watch some famous dude
• 1:52:58
  crash. DJ, turn it up. DJ, turn it up. Out here
• 1:53:24
  making bad moves Top big game, then you chase
• 1:53:26
  that shot Top big love, then you reach that spot
• 1:53:28
  If you swing like that when the night gets tough
• 1:53:30
  You ain't legit, man, you just washed up Back
• 1:54:02
  at the bar, y 'all slidin' in a row We don't
• 1:54:04
  chase drama, we just chase glow You're in the
• 1:54:06
  tabloids, I'm in a strobe You stuck in scandal,
• 1:54:09
  I'm stuck in mode If you treat girls bad, you
• 1:54:10
  the punchline now You ain't role model, you just
• 1:54:13
  foul I'd rather dance with the crew I trusted
• 1:54:15
  Swing like a star who forgot respect is a must
• 1:54:59
  Keep keeping it true Oh, yeah. He really is one,
• 1:55:41
  isn't he? I know somewhere he means well, but
• 1:55:46
  he is a douche. Douchey, douche, douche. Making
• 1:55:53
  headlines for a DUI arrest in March, Tiger Woods.
• 1:55:57
  The pro golfer was spotted yesterday on the tarmac
• 1:56:00
  after his private plane landed in Palm Beach.
• 1:56:02
  That's good. You know, I've seen him and like
• 1:56:08
  he has accountability. Tigers reportedly just
• 1:56:11
  completed a month long stay at a treatment facility
• 1:56:14
  in Switzerland. Oh yeah, I know he's banging
• 1:56:17
  out the snow buddies over there. His next court
• 1:56:19
  date is July 7th, although he does not have to
• 1:56:22
  attend in person. All right, Daniel, it's time.
• 1:56:27
  For Kardashian News. Hoppy's on the mic, call
• 1:56:56
  it verbal demolition Exposing fake lives, media's
• 1:56:59
  worst addiction Idiocracy crowned, it's the brain
• 1:57:02
  on snooze Clickbait queens, welcome to Kardashian
• 1:57:04
  News Kardashian News Where the truth gets aired,
• 1:57:08
  Hoppy breaking down the hype Y 'all beware, fake
• 1:57:10
  smiles, fake lives Fake lives, fake drama, they
• 1:57:13
  choose No talent required, it's Kardashian News
• 1:57:16
  Kardashian News Where the truth gets aired, Hoppy
• 1:57:19
  breaking down the hype Y 'all beware, fake smiles,
• 1:57:21
  fake lives Fake drama, they choose. No talent
• 1:57:24
  required, it's Kardashian news. Diamond studded
• 1:57:27
  lies, selling dreams to the broke. Gold -plated
• 1:57:30
  nothing, society inside joke. Poppy ain't scared,
• 1:57:33
  man, he roastin' them ropes. They like it rough.
• 1:57:35
  Boobies sexin' like they rewrote the law. Surgical
• 1:57:38
  precision. Every word's a slice. Hypocrisy exposed
• 1:57:41
  under studio lights. Instagram filters, they
• 1:57:44
  mask the truth. Poppy's here to school them.
• 1:57:47
  Welcome to the booth. No chain. Speaking what
• 1:57:51
  he feels. Never playing the game. No Kardashian
• 1:57:54
  can spin his name. On this mic he reigns. Untamed.
• 1:57:59
  Kardashian. Got it. Get scared. I'll be breaking
• 1:58:02
  down the hype. Y 'all beware. Fake smile. Fake
• 1:58:04
  lies. Fake lies. Fake drama. They choose. No
• 1:58:07
  talent required. It's Kardashian news. Kardashian
• 1:58:10
  news. Tone it up. It's Hoppy Amazon. Hoppy speaks
• 1:58:14
  what's on his mind. All right. I know. No. Hoppy
• 1:58:18
  Hot Topic. All right. Yeah, I see what's going
• 1:58:20
  on with this woman. Which pregnancy was easier?
• 1:58:23
  Maybe this one. That was a breeze. But my son,
• 1:58:27
  my last pregnancy, it like really took me out.
• 1:58:29
  Kylie Jenner is reflecting on her journey to
• 1:58:33
  becoming a mom. Oh, yeah. She's the youngest
• 1:58:36
  male. Episode of Jake Shane's Therapist Podcast.
• 1:58:42
  The Kylie Cosmetics founder opened. I'm glad
• 1:58:44
  some Gen Z is trying to be a shrink. I'm like,
• 1:58:48
  yeah, I'm the authority on women, even though
• 1:58:50
  I'm gay. About the vastly different experiences
• 1:58:53
  of her first and second pregnancies. Recalling
• 1:58:58
  the moment she found out she was pregnant at
• 1:59:00
  19 with her daughter Stormy, Kylie admitted she
• 1:59:04
  initially feared. See, what's weird is I forgot
• 1:59:06
  that she got pregnant that young. Telling her
• 1:59:08
  parents the news. I was freaking out. Trust me,
• 1:59:14
  you're always fine. I was freaking out. The name
• 1:59:17
  of this podcast is Therapus with Jake Shane.
• 1:59:20
  Surprise or not, Theradick. I was really scared
• 1:59:25
  to tell my parents. Whatever, honey. It all worked
• 1:59:27
  out. Because you're a billionaire. All right.
• 1:59:29
  If you're listening in Fresno, we got 30 seconds
• 1:59:31
  left. I love you. There's going to be an atomic
• 1:59:34
  bomb. It's going to take us out. And that taking
• 1:59:39
  us out is the podcast ending. Love for Fresno.
• 1:59:45
  Oh, no. Oh, Lord. Oh, no. Watch out. Talk to
• 1:59:59
  you later, Fresno. If you survive. Don't worry,
• 2:00:03
  Fresno. Copy hour will be right back. Oh, yeah.
• 2:00:07
  If you're still listening, you're listening in
• 2:00:09
  the podcast. It's time for the new song called
• 2:00:11
  Stephen Colbert is a douchebag. He got the suit,
• 2:00:25
  got that grin, still the joke don't land, man
• 2:00:27
  Talk real big on the screen, but the crowd don't
• 2:00:32
  clap back Every night, same old bitch, same fake
• 2:00:36
  smile, same stale script Kept talking like he's
• 2:00:40
  profound, but the room stayed half -lit And the
• 2:00:44
  phone stay off When he starts to talk No spark,
• 2:00:50
  no bite Just a long, hard walk Off the air, off
• 2:00:56
  the air Who's still watching there? Off the air,
• 2:01:01
  off the air Ain't much left to spare Off the
• 2:01:05
  air, off the air Save the room, save the chair
• 2:01:09
  Off the air, off the air Yeah, who cares? Work
• 2:01:25
  dreams, little payoff Running jokes like they
• 2:01:28
  never take off Money burning through the floor
• 2:01:32
  Not a board, one answers more Used to crowd the
• 2:01:35
  whole front row Now it's not, we know Same old
• 2:01:38
  life, same old face But the sparkle left the
• 2:01:43
  place And the bones stay off When he starts to
• 2:01:48
  talk No spark, no bite Just a long, hard walk
• 2:02:02
  Off the air, ain't much left to spare Off the
• 2:02:06
  air, off the air Save the room, save the chair
• 2:02:10
  Off the air, off the air Yeah, who cares? Who
• 2:02:14
  cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?
• 2:02:21
  Who cares? New day, new frame, same old game
• 2:02:28
  If the punch don't hit, don't call it fame Let
• 2:02:31
  it fade Let it roll. Let the credits go. One
• 2:02:34
  last bow. One last grin. Then it's out the door
• 2:02:37
  again. Off the air. Off the air. Who's still
• 2:02:42
  watching there? Off the air. Off the air. Ain't
• 2:02:47
  much left to spare. Off the air. Off the air.
• 2:02:51
  Save the room. Save the chat. Off the air. Off
• 2:02:55
  the air. Yeah, who cares? Who cares? Who cares?
• 2:02:59
  Right now. Oops, wrong button. 856 -49 -HOPPY.
• 2:03:04
  Let's talk about Colbert. Watch the wind. Oh,
• 2:03:12
  it's Stephen Colbert and Letterman on the roof
• 2:03:15
  throwing a chair. Haha, get it? They're getting
• 2:03:18
  rid of the furniture from the set. So funny.
• 2:03:21
  Here we go. Yes! So edgy! Wow! Throwing furniture!
• 2:03:30
  Punisher down. Shut up, let him in. Go bang it
• 2:03:35
  in turn. One, two, three. There goes an office
• 2:03:41
  chair. Next should be Colbert. I'm kidding. Yeah.
• 2:03:47
  The Late Show, 1993 to 2026. It's a cake. So
• 2:03:52
  how many years is that? No way of knowing. He's
• 2:03:55
  so funny, Colbert. How does it feel? There you're
• 2:03:59
  going up there because you costed them 20 million.
• 2:04:02
  And you have to have all your liberal friends
• 2:04:05
  make you feel better about being a failure. I'm
• 2:04:13
  Letterman. God, he's unlikable. Colbert and David
• 2:04:16
  Letterman saying goodbye to the late show by
• 2:04:19
  destroying it. It's so funny. People say, oh,
• 2:04:23
  what are you going to do next? Please, just let
• 2:04:24
  me just get the plane on the ground first. Yeah,
• 2:04:26
  get out of here. We don't really miss you anymore.
• 2:04:29
  The two late night hosts taking to the roof of
• 2:04:31
  New York City's Ed Sullivan Theater, tossing
• 2:04:33
  chairs, melons, and pieces of the set. So stupid.
• 2:04:37
  How is this funny? I want to find it funny. There's
• 2:04:41
  a lot of liberals find it funny, but it ain't
• 2:04:44
  funny. Straight onto the CBS logo below. Yes!
• 2:04:50
  So there's that. And then here they are talking
• 2:04:53
  like a bunch of cackling morons. All right, here
• 2:04:58
  we go right here. Backstage, a guy comes over
• 2:05:01
  and he says he's from CBS and then he fired me.
• 2:05:05
  Yeah, you guys all are costing the company money.
• 2:05:09
  This ain't 1989 where late night TV is a game
• 2:05:13
  changer. I'm sorry. He caught us straight. What
• 2:05:16
  is going on over there? I will say, and I have
• 2:05:21
  every right to be pissed off, so I'll just...
• 2:05:23
  No, you don't! He was costing the company money!
• 2:05:27
  Now, if he was making them hundreds of millions
• 2:05:30
  of dollars... But it was costing them money.
• 2:05:34
  I'll be pissed off here a little bit. Because
• 2:05:37
  this theater, you folks wouldn't be in this theater
• 2:05:40
  if it weren't for me. A total narcissist. In
• 2:05:44
  this theater, I cheated on my wife. Because I'm
• 2:05:47
  a scumbag. Shut up, Lennon. Steven wouldn't be
• 2:05:51
  here if it weren't for me. And my next guy, if
• 2:05:54
  it wasn't for you, dude, no one other than the
• 2:05:58
  age of 59 knows who you are, brah. And we rebuilt
• 2:06:02
  this theater and then Stephen came in and look
• 2:06:05
  at this. It's like the Bellagio. Okay, but it
• 2:06:08
  was costing the company money. He had a hundred
• 2:06:12
  people working for him for late night jokes about
• 2:06:15
  Trump that weren't funny. He was costing them
• 2:06:19
  money. But listen, I don't want to listen. You're
• 2:06:28
  annoying. You got all your psycho fan people
• 2:06:31
  in the crowd kissing his ass. Shut up. Nothing's
• 2:06:36
  wrong, Dave. As we all understand, you can take
• 2:06:40
  a man's show. You can't take a man's voice. All
• 2:06:43
  right, well, he'll do a podcast. You can't take
• 2:06:47
  a man's voice. Man, is he annoying. Shut up.
• 2:06:51
  I'm David Letterman. I think I better. You're
• 2:06:55
  nothing, dude. Cheated on your wife when it entered.
• 2:06:58
  And every boomer kisses your ass because they
• 2:07:01
  missed the 80s and 90s when the world was cool.
• 2:07:05
  Typical boomers. Living in the past. RyanHoppyRadio
• 2:07:24
  .com Hoppy Hour will be right back. You probably
• 2:07:26
  had Taco Bell before. Whenever we're going outside,
• 2:07:30
  all I smell is poop. And we'll call it a day.
• 2:07:37
  The semen was so big. As a reminder, if you don't
• 2:07:40
  feel like listening to this next song, you can
• 2:07:42
  skip over it. But Ryan Hoppy of Hoppy Hour takes
• 2:07:45
  pride in his selection, so stick around, folks.
• 2:07:48
  And that is that. RyanHoppyRadio .com I'll be
• 2:08:08
  right back. You probably had Taco Bell before.
• 2:08:11
  Whenever we're going outside, all I smell is
• 2:08:16
  poop. And we'll call it a day. The seaman was
• 2:08:22
  so big. As a reminder, if you don't feel like
• 2:08:24
  listening to this next song, you can skip over
• 2:08:27
  it. But Ryan Hoppy of Hoppy Hour takes pride
• 2:08:29
  in his selection, so stick around, folks. Live
• 2:13:12
  reads or sponsors. I'm like, who's listening
• 2:13:14
  to that? If I were that sponsor, I'd be pissed
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  off. But what do I know? A lot. This following
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  spell radio. Or it's in my podcast section. So
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  whenever you listen to Hoppy Hour like you are
• 2:15:28
  right now in the podcast description. But you
• 2:15:45
  can hear The Hammerin' Hank Show with Henry Oaks
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  and Ryan Hoffman on Spotify by searching up Hammerin',
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  H -A -M -M -E -R -I -N, Hank Show. And check
• 2:15:54
  it out on his podcast feed. People with autism
• 2:15:57
  are often treated like they are different. Believe
• 2:16:00
  me, we are. Hi, this is Henry Oaks, but my buddies
• 2:16:04
  may have known me as Hammerin' Hank. I was labeled
• 2:16:07
  as slow when I started school. Come to find out
• 2:16:10
  at age 12, the doctors decided I was autistic.
• 2:16:13
  Now at the age of 48, I have completed an associate's
• 2:16:16
  degree in radio broadcasting and worked in the
• 2:16:19
  San Francisco Bay Area as an on -air personality.
• 2:16:22
  So yes, I am different. People with autism have
• 2:16:25
  no needs no different than you. Laugh, laugh,
• 2:16:28
  love, and learn to gain education and join the
• 2:16:32
  workforce. I did it, and so can anyone else with
• 2:16:35
  autism. So when you meet someone with autism,
• 2:16:39
  don't feel sorry for them. Work with them. a
• 2:16:45
  condition. To find out more about autism, please
• 2:16:49
  visit Autism Speaks .org. Autism Speaks. It's
• 2:16:53
  time to listen. Hoping and praying that one day
• 2:17:24
  I'm gonna make it No matter what, I keep coming
• 2:17:28
  strong I got my eyes on the prize and I'm gonna
• 2:17:32
  take it I'm never realizing what it's all to
• 2:17:39
  be Today, I'm gonna say The lights are on, so
• 2:17:44
  let's get it started, started You say you feel
• 2:18:31
  how I put it down But I cannot make it through
• 2:18:36
  this without you Together we keep breaking the
• 2:18:40
  ground I'm gonna do it because you told me how
• 2:18:45
  to make it I never realized it before It's hard
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  for me to say I wanna say it Fortify .com. F
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  self -defense classes, skate classes, and Posters,
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  yard signs, whatever the hell it is, spread it
• 2:21:52
  out. I go, I go. Finally. I mentally all like
• 2:21:57
  me. Mm -hmm. If you live in Florida or Maryland,
• 2:22:01
  go to counselingoncall .net. I'm there. Hi, we're
• 2:22:09
  going to come back and I'll be out and keep this
• 2:22:10
  party going. Hello again. It's your favorite
• 2:22:14
  San Francisco DJ, eh? I may look normal, but
• 2:22:18
  the truth is, I have a condition known as autism.
• 2:22:21
  That's right, it's a condition, not a disease.
• 2:22:24
  That is, autism can strike anyone, regardless
• 2:22:27
  of who they are. People with autism normally
• 2:22:30
  have difficulties in verbal and non -verbal communication
• 2:22:32
  skills, social interactions, and leisure activities.
• 2:22:36
  In a recent study, education. I have even worked
• 2:22:49
  in the San Francisco Bay Area. Outro Music You
• 2:23:53
  hear a lot of me venting to my friends and having
• 2:23:56
  panic attacks. I'm not that interesting. And
• 2:24:01
  if you think I'm interesting because of my radio
• 2:24:03
  show, you're a clout chaser. That was very strange.
• 2:24:09
  It's been funny. So on social media, with the
• 2:24:14
  algorithms, they're not allowed to say shoot.
• 2:24:18
  Like, oh, this person was shot or shoot. So if
• 2:24:21
  it's a caption like, there was a shooting in
• 2:24:25
  Atlanta outside of a nightclub, it looks like
• 2:24:27
  there was a shitting. It's absolutely hilarious.
• 2:24:34
  So every time I see it, I just thought, who's
• 2:24:36
  shitting it? What are you doing? Make it to the
• 2:24:40
  toilet. I'm like, oh, shooting. That algorithm
• 2:24:44
  thing where there's the asterisk is so stupid.
• 2:24:48
  What are you doing? Is the algorithm that pussified?
• 2:24:53
  That we can't have the word murder or shooting
• 2:24:57
  without triggering people? You're a bunch of
• 2:25:02
  Bitches! Gotta be careful not to lose my voice
• 2:25:05
  today. Because sometimes I'll be doing my theatrical
• 2:25:07
  voice like this! And the next day I'm like...
• 2:25:10
  By the way, we have a new listener. That's a
• 2:25:16
  part of Hoppy's Homies. Remember when I tried
• 2:25:19
  to make merchandise? I don't know, 11 years ago.
• 2:25:22
  I was trying to be like Bubba the Sponge with
• 2:25:25
  his Bubba Army. And this guy named Ryan Redbeard
• 2:25:30
  on Twitter came up with Hoppies Homies. Never
• 2:25:34
  quite took off, but it was a good try. Well,
• 2:25:39
  we have a new Hoppies Homies. Her name is Callie.
• 2:25:45
  She's very pretty. She goes to the Cava House
• 2:25:48
  on 4th Street that I go to. And remember, she's
• 2:25:53
  like one of those kind of off the grid, isn't
• 2:25:56
  on social media much, might have a social media
• 2:25:58
  account, but no one knows. Just very off the
• 2:26:00
  grid. She's like, what do you do for a living?
• 2:26:03
  And I'm like, oh, I work with the MJ Morning
• 2:26:05
  Show. I work at Beasley Media Group. I have a
• 2:26:07
  podcast. And she's never listened to a podcast
• 2:26:09
  before besides seeing, you know, clips on YouTube.
• 2:26:15
  So she's like, hey, I helped her download Spotify.
• 2:26:19
  I had her subscribe to it. And you know what
• 2:26:22
  happened? I was the very first podcast she ever
• 2:26:26
  listened to. Think about that. You got the murder
• 2:26:30
  podcast. Yes.