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Light's Out · A Time to Sharpen

0:09
Is there anything worse than a dull blade?
0:11
Yeah, Well, lots of things, I guess.
0:14
Poverty, war, sea ticks, chiggers, mosquitoes, Poison
0:21
Ivy, poison oak. These.
0:23
Are a. Few of.
0:23
My favorite things? But seriously, the dough blade
0:27
is bad. It's unusable.
0:30
In fact, it's downright dangerous.
0:32
Knives need sharpening. From Whetstone Boys Ranch in
0:36
Mountain View, MO, comes a Time to Sharpen, a bi weekly podcast
0:41
that examines how we can all be better versions of ourselves.
0:45
Better counselors, better parents, better teachers, better
0:49
people. When most of the world goes to
0:59
sleep, life at Whetstone keeps rolling.
1:03
The lights may be out, but the work doesn't stop.
1:06
Boys still need care. Situations can arise, and
1:10
someone has to keep diligent watch.
1:12
Today, we're pulling back the curtain on what happens after
1:15
dark at Whetstone Boys Ranch, the overnight coverage that
1:18
makes 24/7 care possible. We'll talk about what those
1:22
shifts actually look like, how staff remain alert, and the
1:26
unique communication challenges that come with working when
1:29
everyone else is asleep. Our guest today knows this world
1:32
well. He has spent years walking the
1:35
halls comforting, anxious and sometimes restless boys, keeping
1:39
eyes and ears open to ensure every resident's safety.
1:42
Join us this week on A Time to Sharpen as we talk with Curtis
1:45
Cashmere, the guardian Angel who makes the ranch run safely all
1:50
the way through the wee small hours of the morning.
1:59
Welcome back to A Time to Sharpen.
2:00
I'm Axel Limata. I'm here again with Brandon
2:03
Maxwell. Hello, Axel.
2:05
Hello, Brandon. And we have a special guest this
2:07
morning, and I'm gonna hand the mic over to Brandon to introduce
2:11
him. Sounds good.
2:12
Yes, we always love to have new guests on the podcast and this
2:17
is 1 we've been talking to for a little bit and been wanting to
2:20
get on here. And so today I'm happy to
2:24
introduce Curtis Kashmir. Tom can dub in my special
2:32
effects. Those are all limit to maid
2:36
anyway. No, it's, it's glad, I'm glad to
2:39
be here on the podcast. I, I've been working with
2:41
Whetstone now for a little over 2 years.
2:44
It's a lot of fun. I love what I do here.
2:48
You know, I in a position in my life with, you know, I'm a
2:54
bigger guy. So doing physical work is not my
2:57
best quality. I can't, I can't go out and do
2:59
the physical work that I used to.
3:02
So being able to do overnights and still help these these boys
3:05
that need help these these young men in the way that I can is, is
3:11
liberating is being able to, you know, make sure that they're
3:14
safe during overnights and make sure that, you know, if they're
3:18
having trouble during overnight, they have somebody to talk to or
3:20
look up to that's going to be there.
3:23
You know, while they're they're, they're getting the rest in for
3:25
the night. You don't need to pull out the
3:27
chainsaw at anytime during the the night shift.
3:30
No, no, I stressed. That would be really creepy.
3:33
I stressed to my overnight guys like a big thing is quiet.
3:38
You know, these, these boys, everyone deserves a good night's
3:40
sleep, regardless of what happened during the day,
3:42
regardless of their actions or, or what they've done to get
3:45
themselves in trouble or to make bad decisions.
3:48
Everyone deserves a good night's sleep.
3:50
You know, they, they deserve to sleep throughout the night
3:53
without interruption. So I, I stress quiet.
3:55
I've even gone as far as like if you have to bring in like comfy
3:59
socks and walk down the hallway in that so you're not is.
4:01
That a slogan for a hotel chain? It should be.
4:05
Everyone ever wants a comfort or a good night's sleep.
4:07
Yeah, yeah, it's. Like a Red Roof Inn, kind of.
4:10
It hasn't been problems. You could, you could market
4:12
that. Yeah, it's.
4:13
Probably a mattress company out there that.
4:15
Yeah. Sleep number or something like
4:17
that, like. A like a certa mattress.
4:18
Yeah, everyone deserves a good night's sleep.
4:20
Well, I know, Curtis, First off, we really appreciate you taking
4:24
on that role because I don't want to come in and stay up all
4:27
night, walk the halls every 15 minutes.
4:30
If I had a dime for every time somebody said I don't want to
4:33
stay here overnight, I wouldn't need work here, Yeah.
4:36
And I have done it a few times over the years, handful of
4:39
times. And I bring in, I usually I
4:43
bring in like eBay stuff, some baseball cards and list stuff on
4:46
eBay and I get some stuff done. But you know, and I'm a, I'm a
4:51
nocturnal kind of guy. I stay up pretty late most most
4:53
nights, but I'll hit a wall around like two 3:00 in the
4:57
morning and I'm sure, I'm sure you have.
5:00
You've probably adjusted now, but.
5:01
My wall is around 5:30. Is it 530 is when I hit my wall
5:05
and that's when I I don't drink any energy drinks after two in
5:09
the morning because at that point I'd be up way into the
5:13
morning that I don't need to be. So around 5:30 is when I do hit
5:16
a wall, but you can stand up, you know, do some squats in
5:23
house 1, the old house, so you could walk up and down the
5:25
stairs a little bit to try to get some blood flow, you know
5:27
that kind of thing. But like I said, still being
5:30
quiet, you know, you don't want to be doing full on exercises
5:34
and jumping jacks while the boys are trying to sleep.
5:36
But there there is good ways to keep yourself awake on that.
5:40
We do allow to have you know most staff with the boys are not
5:45
allowed to have their phones or laptops.
5:46
But with overnight, we allow ourselves to have some form of
5:51
entertainment to keep ourselves awake throughout this shift.
5:54
Yeah, yeah, I know. So First off, like Many thanks
5:59
from, from my, my personal angle of things in my family and
6:03
everything, but I know parents over the years have talked a lot
6:06
about how much security on Peace of Mind it gives them to know
6:09
that someone is, is there watching over them.
6:13
So I want to thank you for, for our parents that, that you, that
6:16
you're reliable and dependable and thoughtful and kind and
6:22
responsible and all these things.
6:23
And I know you provide a lot more than just walking up and
6:28
down, checking a box, you know, making sure they're asleep and
6:31
safe in their beds and, you know, haven't tried to pull a
6:34
fast one by stuffing the pillows under.
6:36
You know the old tricks. I'd knock on, would have not had
6:38
that yet. Escaped from Alcatraz.
6:41
I've only had we'll put this down.
6:43
I've only had one incident where a boy had left their bed in the
6:46
morning when they weren't supposed to.
6:48
And the boy had just gotten done with a parent visit and was in
6:54
his mind quite a bit and was the only thing he could think about
6:58
was getting back to his parents. And I'm human just like
7:01
everybody else. And I had to use the restroom in
7:03
the morning. So I used the restroom.
7:04
And while I did, he ran downstairs and got down there
7:07
and found him curled up crying in a chair, Right.
7:10
And so I spoke to him about leaving his bedroom.
7:13
You know, he's not supposed to do that.
7:14
But he was in a state, and I had asked at that point, you know,
7:19
instead of let's give him consequences, let's give him an
7:22
extra therapy session because that was definitely what he
7:24
needed. And a big thank you to you guys
7:27
and especially Jeremy Thompson. He took my advice and didn't
7:31
give him consequences for that, but gave him an extra therapy
7:34
session and allowed him to get out what he needed to talk about
7:39
because he was literally counting the seconds until he
7:41
got to see his parents again. He was doing the math in his
7:44
head and just wasn't thinking clearly on the rules of
7:47
Whetstone itself. You know, that's the only
7:50
incident I've had like that. And I always try to keep an eye
7:53
out for boys. And that's why I like the EOS
7:56
system that we do. And I always try to talk to the
8:00
evening staff before they leave. Like, was there any issues
8:03
today? What happened?
8:04
What can I look out for? You know, are there any boys
8:07
that might even think about or have they mentioned running
8:11
away? You know what I mean?
8:13
Because I always try to keep an eye out because, you know, we
8:16
don't want to feel like I'm prison.
8:17
We don't in any way, shape or form.
8:19
I was big on that when I got here because I had worked at
8:23
another ranch before this as well, doing overnights and it
8:29
felt like more of a prison, like bars on the bars on the windows,
8:33
that kind of thing. And I, I, I like that we don't
8:35
do that here. These boys have freedom, but
8:38
they also have rules and regulations behind things.
8:41
You know what I mean? I I really love that about this
8:43
place. Yeah, well, I come from a
8:48
perspective too, as we talk about night staff when we didn't
8:51
have night staff when we started the ranch, my wife and I were
8:55
the original house parents and we started with one boy.
8:59
Obviously we've talked about that.
9:01
But then, you know, even as we got into multiple boys, we just
9:04
didn't have, I mean, it was Axel and Jeremy and I and that was
9:08
it. And so and Buddy, and then Mike
9:12
came in. You know, it's good to see Mike
9:14
the other night, actually, he came for that open house.
9:17
Yeah. But anyways, we had motion
9:22
detectors in the hallways and then we have alarms on the
9:26
screens on the on the door or on the windows and we still have
9:31
the alarms on the windows. But it was interesting with
9:34
those motion detectors, we it was kind of like the matrix, you
9:38
know, you kind of have them pointed to any way that a boy
9:42
couldn't get out of the room without those things going off.
9:47
But come to find out later, the heat in the house at different
9:52
times would affect how those things worked.
9:55
And like, the range of those would be thrown off.
9:58
And so for a while there, like, we had no idea that that was
10:02
going on. But the boys had figured out how
10:06
to sneak down the hallway and and beat the system basically.
10:11
And it was pretty. Smart.
10:12
It's like a. Rear of entry system.
10:14
Just imagine them like with those those shows where they
10:17
have the lasers. I don't want some things.
10:19
Doing some kind of like acrobatic.
10:21
Yeah, they're just like trying to get through the other side
10:24
without getting hit by the laser.
10:26
Well, Secret. Age and boy, yeah.
10:29
But that's just part of, you know, starting and not having
10:34
the resources or capacity to have night staff.
10:37
I think we always knew that eventually we needed to get
10:40
there, wanted to get there, but just didn't have the capacity to
10:44
do it. But shortly after, it's probably
10:47
two or three years after we, we finally went to that 24/7
10:51
coverage system and we're able to, but that was, I mean, with
10:54
just knowing all this stuff is tough as it was to try to sleep
10:59
and not know what's going on with the boys.
11:02
And there was things that I would, you know, here and I'd
11:05
had wake up and go over there and see what's going on.
11:08
And it was anyway, there's probably a lot of not good
11:10
things that went on that just you don't know about.
11:15
So that's why this position is, is vital just for the program as
11:21
a whole and keeping the boys safe, number one.
11:23
But like you said, helps ensure a good night's sleep, which is a
11:28
catalyst to everything else in the program to them being
11:31
successful. So.
11:32
Yeah, and, and don't get me wrong, the boys are still cranky
11:34
in the morning. They're they're, they're always
11:36
good to be. But a good night's sleep can
11:38
help them throughout the day as well, you know, make better
11:42
decision throughout the day. If they're well rested, you
11:45
know, they're, they're just like any other, any other person.
11:49
Like if you don't get a good night's sleep, you're going to
11:50
be cranky about it, you know, the next day.
11:52
And sometimes with their heightened emotions and things
11:54
that you know, they've been through and seen or you know,
11:57
they go through in life, you know, it gets heightened even
11:59
more if they don't get a proper night's sleep.
12:02
And you don't know a boy's background, like they may not
12:04
have been in a place that was safe to sleep.
12:07
So giving them a, a catalyst to, to sleep well and knowing that
12:13
somebody's there to keep an eye on them.
12:16
I've had boys that, you know, two 3:00 in the morning come out
12:20
and like, Hey, I can't sleep. You know, I'm like, well, let's
12:23
talk for a couple of minutes and then, you know, you need to get
12:26
back to bed. You know, I still, I try to not
12:31
let them stay up way super late because then they'll take
12:34
advantage of that kind of situation.
12:36
Will they be like, Oh, I can stay up with Mr. K?
12:38
No, no, you can't stay up with Mr. K.
12:41
You do need to get some sleep. But occasionally it's just
12:43
they're having trouble. Their mind won't quiet down.
12:46
And I know with myself having, you know, anxiety and things
12:49
like that, I get that, you know, having trouble sleeping.
12:52
And with this job, you know, going home, it's, it's very
12:55
quiet, very alone while you're there.
12:57
And then you go home and my wife's at work and my daughter's
13:00
at school and it's, you know, I'm alone at the house too.
13:03
It does get kind of lonely. So it is nice to have the boys
13:05
every now and then top their head out and be like, hey, can
13:08
we talk for a couple of minutes that?
13:10
You know, human connection. Yeah, yeah.
13:12
Well, I sometimes when we do shift change, you know, I come
13:17
in about 15 to 20 minutes early. Well, sometimes I come in like
13:21
an hour early just because, you know, that's how my life goes.
13:25
I always do a perimeter sweep. I do checking all of the doors
13:29
to make sure that they're all locked and all of that
13:31
connected. I check the kitchen to make sure
13:34
that all the knives are within the the locked drawers.
13:36
That way nobody has snuck anything out or anything like
13:39
that. You know, I do that and then I
13:42
usually talk to the evening staff about how the day went.
13:46
And sometimes I get to be a chatterbox with them and I'm
13:49
like, well, this is my fleeting moments of social interaction.
13:52
So, you know, let's do this. I do, you know, you know that I
13:56
do theater on occasions. I'll do a play every now and
13:58
then. And that helps me with, you
14:00
know, personal connection, you know, but overall, it is a very
14:04
quiet and to yourself kind of job, you know, Even so, you
14:10
know, chat rooms aren't a thing anymore.
14:12
So I can't, you know, sit on the computer and chat with people on
14:14
that. But I do part of, you know,
14:18
staying away, keeping yourself busy.
14:21
There's a few like games I'll play on my computer or right now
14:24
I'm writing a book or I'm reading plays, you know, things
14:28
like that, right, To keep myself busy.
14:30
And that, that definitely helps. Yeah, on that.
14:34
Cool. I want to hear a little more
14:36
like you talked about the story of the young man who you know,
14:40
was having a hard time and he it wasn't his room, he had to track
14:43
him down. Do you have other stories where
14:46
you've been able to really connect with a boy and and kind
14:50
of help him through a tough time that that stick out?
14:54
Yeah, probably not as much as everybody else just due to most
14:57
of the boys being asleep or sometimes the the medicines that
15:01
they take, you know, they, they fall asleep very, pretty
15:03
quickly. But there, there has been a few,
15:08
especially during times where they're about to go home,
15:12
whether that be for graduation or whether that be for a weekly
15:16
visit, Christmas break, things like that, where their nerves
15:20
are on edge and they're having trouble coping with, you know, I
15:24
am about to go home. And, you know, and a lot of
15:27
times with the boys that are genuinely, genuinely, genuinely
15:30
trying with the program, it's I want my family to see the
15:34
progress that I've made, but I feel like they're still going to
15:38
look at me in the the old light, you know what I mean?
15:41
And so I've had conversations like that with the boys of, you
15:45
know, what expectations they should have when they get home
15:49
and, and how to process going home for a little while or going
15:53
home permanently when they graduate.
15:56
I love seeing boys graduate from here.
15:58
It's one of my, my, my absolute favorite thing is I try to go to
16:01
as many, even though I work overnights and I'm tired, I
16:06
still try to go to every graduation that I can.
16:08
You know, I've only only missed a couple and that was when I
16:11
first started and I was still getting used to my overnight
16:14
shifts where at, you know, 8:00 in the morning, I'm dragging my
16:18
feet out of here. Like I'm so tired, you know, but
16:22
I try to go to every graduation. And so those are more of the
16:25
conversations that I've had with the boys over there over the the
16:29
almost 2 1/2 years that I've been here is they're about to go
16:32
home or about to go on. And even on adventure week where
16:35
they're not going home, but they're going out to do other
16:38
things and what the expectation should be or even just to calm
16:41
down when they're riled up, you know, that's, that's a big thing
16:46
because the staff that is here until 10:00, you know, they're
16:50
ready to go. You know, they've dealt with
16:52
these these boys for the last few hours and they're, they're
16:56
ready to pack it up and call it a day and they should all be in
16:59
bed. But sometimes they're they're
17:00
still awake, they're still riled up.
17:02
And, you know, especially with Adventure Week that they just
17:05
did not too long ago, some of the boys were very riled up come
17:09
bedtime. And they've got their backpacks
17:12
full of stuff and they're wanting to play with the
17:14
equipment and with the flashlights and with all of that
17:17
that they've packed up the day before.
17:19
So yeah, that that can be a fun time.
17:22
Setting condition. Yeah.
17:23
We've, we've talked about that a little bit, the just the
17:25
transitions that happen on a facility or campus, like what we
17:31
do here and just having some different shift work that
17:35
happens and how important those transitions are.
17:37
And really that bedtime transition is one that we've
17:42
kind of tweaked over the years and really tried to figure out
17:46
what the best way is to, to make that to, to create that setting
17:52
and environment up there to where it's we kind of do things
17:56
intentionally before we even go up there to start settling it
18:01
down, you know, with just the snack and a house meeting.
18:05
I know we used to have a house meeting every time they.
18:09
They kind of got away from the house meeting and they do a
18:11
devotional. Do a devotional that's right.
18:13
So that's even better. So just things to when we do
18:19
things in repetition like that and we, we all kind of probably
18:23
have tried our own things as parents at home to help create
18:27
that environment to just make our minds realize, OK, it's now
18:31
it's bedtime. We need to start settling down
18:33
and then just try to get the body, then the Physiology of all
18:36
of that to just work in those rhythms.
18:39
And so we try to do that at the ranch to just over repetitions
18:43
by the time they go up and it's, you know, 830, sometimes we've
18:47
gone no talking for the first few minutes up there for the
18:52
first chunk of time, just to be able to, to help out with that,
18:56
the quiet. And because it is boys,
19:00
sometimes bedtimes can be associated with a negative
19:05
experience, depending on what's happened at home.
19:08
They don't like to go to bed. They don't like the dark and
19:11
they could be that. So there's some anxieties around
19:14
going to bed. And sometimes our boys mentally,
19:18
they may be 7 or 8 years old mentally with some of the things
19:24
that they're processing, you think about a 7 or 8 year old
19:26
and like they always want to kind of skirt that bedtime,
19:31
skirt that bedtime and come snuggle with mom and dad, you
19:34
know, because that's just what they do and they feel that
19:38
comfort there and they don't, they're scared to go in their
19:41
room by themselves maybe. So we get a lot of that or some
19:44
of that. And you mentioned like sometimes
19:46
maybe boys coming out and wanting to talk with you and
19:50
sometimes having to to navigate that because you want to be
19:53
cognizant of that and be be relational and be able to meet
19:58
their needs. But at the same time, we got to.
20:01
Boundaries. Have the boundaries and then
20:03
communicate to the other boys like we can't be doing this
20:05
every night so sometimes. Especially because we, we try to
20:08
stay away from technology here at Whetstone to get some of the
20:11
boys away from that because they're, you know, some come
20:14
from a, a background of technology addicted.
20:17
Like their parents didn't care. So they just sat in the room and
20:19
played video games all day. Well, as overnight, I do play
20:23
some video games at night and I do do some stuff like that.
20:26
And the last thing I want to eat is for them to come out and try
20:28
to watch me and try to, you know, try, you know, feed into
20:31
that addiction. I do remember a boy that he was
20:37
huge into video games huge. That was one of the things he
20:39
really loved to talk about. And then he found out that I
20:42
played video games on my laptop every night.
20:44
And so there were nights that I had to just close my laptop and
20:48
tell them, hey, you need to go lay down to go to bed.
20:50
There's no if ands or buts. I know this is interesting to
20:53
you and I, I enjoy talking to you about this because we can
20:56
connect on that level. But you got to get a good
20:57
night's sleep. And so I had to wait until I
21:00
knew he was passed out before I could open up my.
21:02
Lap just just the idea that your computer was open and there was
21:05
a screen for him to look at was too much for him to.
21:08
And. To handle.
21:10
When I'm at home, I don't do much computer work and stuff
21:13
like that. I try to get away from my screen
21:15
just a little bit. I'm not really a a touch grass
21:18
kind of guy, but at the same time I understand the the
21:22
positivity of getting out and needing to do stuff and things
21:25
like that and get away from the technology a little bit.
21:27
While we're on the topic of home, doing this a little
21:31
backwards, usually we get to know a little more about the
21:34
person before we jump into the job.
21:36
But give us a little bit of background about you and your
21:39
family and where you're from and and how you ended up at
21:42
Whetstone. Well, I am from Willis Springs.
21:45
I went preschool through graduation at Willis Springs
21:48
school. My parents if you know the area
21:52
in behind G&W, their house is always lit up every year for
21:55
Christmas and Halloween. My mom's a little crazy for both
21:59
those holidays. For just for our listeners,
22:01
Willow Springs is about 15. Yeah, about 15 to 20 minutes
22:05
here. You know, actually if you're
22:06
looking at Whetstone on a map, it's almost equal distant
22:09
between West Plains, Mountain View and Willow Springs.
22:11
So it's kind of the middle of the triangle there.
22:15
So those are the three towns. Like my mom worked in Mountain
22:18
View for 20 something years at the at the Walmart there.
22:21
So we kind of between those three towns.
22:24
I consider all three of those guys kind of home.
22:27
So you're a bear? Well, I was not a sports guy in
22:32
high school like I I played soccer a lot.
22:35
I played 14 years of soccer to the football, 2 years of
22:37
baseball. So I was active as a younger
22:39
kid, but I didn't have that like, you know, school spirit,
22:42
you know, I was just go sport ball, you know, that was good
22:46
Choir, choir, choir. I'm a singer and I like to
22:51
consider myself a singer, actor and voice actor.
22:53
I like to do some of. That but like if you're if
22:55
you're you did singing competitions.
22:57
Right. Yeah, I did some singing.
22:58
Competition not like doing like rally cries go bears at the.
23:02
If I was at the ball game, yeah, I was one of the loudest ones
23:05
there. It was just difficult to get me
23:06
to the ball game because I'm one of those is that if I'm up in
23:10
front of a crowd, right? If I'm in front of 1000 people,
23:12
I'm as calm and collected as can be.
23:14
Put me mixed in with a crowd and I'm a scared little boy.
23:17
I, I, I, I don't know if it's my anxiety or what it is that
23:21
causes that. And a lot of actors actually
23:24
have that where they have a hard time dealing with in crowds, you
23:29
know, when they're in front of people and they're like the
23:32
center of attention, it's one thing.
23:34
But to be mixed in with the crowd, it it gets really
23:37
difficult. So what kind of did you do drama
23:40
in high school? I did, I did drama, I did some
23:43
speech and debate, stuff like that.
23:44
Stand up comedy. What plays were you?
23:46
Were you in? I did for my senior project.
23:50
I actually directed Anchors Away.
23:52
It was a musical that I directed.
23:55
We did three weekends worth of productions.
23:58
I got AAC plus or no C minus on my my full A senior project
24:06
because I was really bad at the paper but I had the genuine.
24:11
Product, I don't know if you told us that before you applied,
24:13
I don't know you would have been here at the Ranch C minus
24:16
Brandon. Man sees good degrees.
24:17
Sees. Good degrees.
24:20
Well, I, I like learning, but I, I'm not big on school settings
24:25
for myself like I did 1 semester of college.
24:27
And though I love the books and I love the classes, the, the
24:31
whole interaction didn't, didn't do it for me, you know, and I, I
24:34
praise anybody that can go to college, go to college, try it,
24:37
please try it, but it's not for everybody, you know, And I'm, I,
24:42
I say that with a grain of salt because I want everybody to try
24:44
college. You know, I tried it for a
24:46
semester. It just it turns out I learned
24:49
more from real life experiences than I did from the sitting down
24:52
learning book. So what were some of those post
24:55
high school experiences and how did they lead you to Whetstone?
24:58
Well, for the most part, I did a lot of working in restaurants.
25:04
Like I thought I always wanted to own a restaurant.
25:07
I knew I always wanted to own a business growing up because I
25:10
love the entrepreneurial mindset of of things.
25:13
But if I'm being honest, what led me to Whetstone was the fact
25:18
that my health started to go go down.
25:21
I learned my feet started to hurt really, really bad after
25:25
high school. And I'm talking debilitating
25:27
pain where if I worked an 8 to 10 hour shift on my feet, I, I
25:32
couldn't walk to the bathroom when I got home.
25:34
Like I'd have to literally crawl across the floor to get to the
25:37
bathroom. And so learning about the, the
25:40
certain disabilities that I had in my feet and things like that,
25:42
along with, you know, I'm a big guy, you know, I'm a 300 plus #
25:47
gentleman. And so the conditions that I had
25:49
in my feet and knees made it very difficult to keep working
25:53
on my feet. And so I looked for things that
25:57
could keep me societally, you know, helping because in
26:03
general, like, I'm a very helpful person.
26:05
I like to help people, you know, and that's part of being a
26:07
server. You know, I worked for many
26:10
years to get to the point where I could serve tables.
26:12
You know, unfortunately in this area, they don't look at male
26:15
servers the same way as they do female servers.
26:18
So it's kind of difficult to break yourself into that.
26:20
And I finally did worked at Bootleggers in West Plains for a
26:23
few years, worked at Ruby Tuesday's as a server and
26:26
manager. So I, I did a lot of that.
26:29
But then when my health started to go bad, I needed something
26:31
that was off my feet, but I also felt I needed something that
26:34
could keep me societally helping.
26:36
And I found another place first. I won't mention names but I
26:41
found another place first that had overnights similar to here.
26:45
And so I started there and then almost at the same time got this
26:49
job and was working both. I was working 5-10 hour shifts
26:53
overnights between the two jobs. And then both jobs at the same
26:57
time offered me salaried pay full time.
27:01
And the more I thought about it, the more I, I fell in love with
27:04
Whitestone with, with what we're doing, you know, the, the
27:07
lessons that we, we go forward with the growth that even, you
27:11
know, just that I've seen over the last couple years with, you
27:14
know, I didn't get to see the planning part of the new house,
27:18
but I got to see the glory of it being built from scratch.
27:22
You know, and don't get me wrong, I didn't go up the hill
27:25
and look at a lot of it as it was being built, but I always
27:28
got to drive by it and see what new things they had put up in it
27:31
and what new things it was being built there.
27:35
And I saw the dream become a reality.
27:37
And I got to see like, Mr. Thompson smiles and your smiles
27:40
as it all came up. And there's a lot of work to it
27:42
and there was a lot of stress to it.
27:44
But the same time, I got to see everybody's happiness when that
27:47
building finally came up. Yeah, yeah, very cool.
27:52
So you, you mentioned before the podcast, we were, we were
27:56
shooting the breeze warming up and everything and you talked
27:59
about your, your Infinity shift. So I thought it'd be, it'd be
28:04
interesting to hear that story cuz it gives a little a good
28:09
kind of behind the scenes look at how things can sometimes a
28:15
little. Bit of a nitty grit.
28:16
Yeah, yeah. So Mr. Tucker, I'll give Mr.
28:18
Tucker credit. He coined Infinity Shift.
28:21
He would. He would because he's such a
28:23
Marvel fan. He coined the Infinity shift and
28:27
that was an interesting time. I had worked an overnight and
28:33
the night there was a huge flood that night.
28:35
I mean, just rainfall upon rainfall.
28:38
You know, it wasn't just raining cats and dogs.
28:41
There were gerbils and everything falling from this guy
28:43
as well, everything from the animal Kingdom.
28:46
And it got so flooded, nobody could get in.
28:48
And so the only people that were here were the ones that stay on
28:52
campus the entire time. And at that point, the new house
28:55
hadn't been built. We didn't have new house parents
28:57
or anything yet. So it was basically me and Mr.
28:59
Brown and one person that could get in on their in their truck.
29:02
But I can't, I can't remember who that was.
29:05
That might have been Mr. Siebert.
29:06
I'm not 100% sure on that one because somebody was able to get
29:08
in with their truck. But So what I ended up doing is
29:16
instead of, you know, going, Oh no, I'm too tired and, you know,
29:19
I'm going to bed or I'm going to try to get home.
29:21
I decided to help out. And the main thing that I could
29:24
help out with at that time, because I can't keep up with the
29:27
boys. Like if they're outside playing,
29:28
I can't keep up with them. I know that because of my
29:31
physical health and I, I don't stray away from that.
29:34
I know that. But to do what I can do, I went
29:37
ahead and did all the cooking, the breakfast, the lunch, the
29:40
dinner. I did all the cleaning for, for,
29:43
for those, any of the boys that wanted to help me with any of
29:46
that, you know, I had one to two to three of them at a time
29:50
helping me with that kind of stuff.
29:52
So in between cooking breakfast and then cleaning, I would go
29:56
upstairs and sleep for 45 minutes to an hour, then go back
29:59
downstairs and help out a little bit and then cook and clean.
30:03
And I did that through breakfast, lunch and dinner and
30:06
then worked another overnight shift.
30:08
So out of a 48 hour shift, I think I slept maybe 3 hours
30:14
maybe. Wow.
30:15
And that's with the boys, you know, it was flooded outside.
30:18
They couldn't go outside and do a whole lot of stuff.
30:20
So they're downstairs and they're teenage boys.
30:21
They're gonna be louder than you put.
30:24
Up with, yeah. And that's, those are just some
30:26
of the realities of doing 24/7 coverage.
30:28
And we all, I would say definitely between you, Jeremy
30:33
and I have some similar stories of, I mean, working seven days a
30:37
week and just doing what you got to do to keep boys safe.
30:41
And when you do this type of work, it's challenging at times.
30:46
But that's also speaks back to the 24/7 coverage that it it
30:52
does for us is it allows people to be on campus at all times
30:56
because we do do have some emergencies like that.
30:59
We're kind of on an island up here.
31:01
When it rains that much, there's so many little low crossing
31:06
areas that it doesn't flood for very long.
31:08
I mean, it'll usually drain down.
31:11
It's not usually more than 24 hour time frame that you can't
31:14
get in here, but there has been a couple of times.
31:17
But between tornadoes or pretty, pretty bad weather and flooding,
31:21
there's times where, yeah and ice that there's been these two.
31:26
Ice storms that I've seen during the time that I've been.
31:28
Here so when you have people on campus and have that 24/7
31:33
coverage, it also sometimes rolls over to emergency coverage
31:38
on times like that and it's just vital position to have to be
31:42
able to maintain a semblance of order during.
31:47
Those zombies, yeah, No. Right.
31:49
Haven't got any zombies yet. We do have a whetstone ghost.
31:51
We're ready for them, so. I've had some stories of.
31:56
Yeah. You ever get spoked up here,
31:57
like late at night when you're so alone?
31:59
No. Talk about blurry creatures.
32:04
Man, blurry creatures only happen about 5:00 in the morning
32:07
when I'm super tired and I'm just looking through, you know,
32:10
like got to take off my glasses, rub my eyes to make sure it
32:12
wasn't a boy that was peeking out from their door in the
32:15
middle of the night. I, I've not experienced anything
32:19
real spooky up here. And I do believe in like super,
32:21
some things about supernatural and things like that, some
32:25
things with the supernatural, but I, I personally don't have
32:27
any like spooky experiences. You know, now there's been a few
32:34
times where dogs have been dropped off or things like that.
32:36
So we'll get dogs that are barking or I've heard, you know,
32:41
sometimes during the fall, the boys will have their windows
32:43
cracked and we'll turn the air conditioner off just so they can
32:46
get the nice cool breeze coming in, you know, and I'll hear
32:49
animals outside, you know what I mean?
32:50
I'll hear a coyote every now and then or something like that.
32:53
But for the most part, you know, I don't, I don't hear or see a
32:56
whole lot going on. It just stays pretty quiet.
32:59
Let me ask you one final question, unless Brandon had
33:01
something else, I wanted to, to kind of end with the thought or
33:06
to ask you, is there something about your job that you know,
33:09
people don't know about or people aren't aware or don't you
33:14
know that we didn't talk about today?
33:16
That's important because like I said, we are oftentimes ships
33:21
passing in the night and we don't probably do a good enough
33:24
job of checking in with you and making sure that you're, you're
33:27
OK and, and everything. So what's, what's something that
33:31
will be useful for us or our parents to know about your your
33:34
role, your job? Well, the main thing I want
33:37
parents to know is that I'm watching your kids.
33:40
I'm making sure that they're, they're safe at night.
33:42
You know, I want them to not have worries about is my boy
33:47
going to try to run away at night?
33:48
Is he going to try to jump off the roof, you know, from, from
33:52
house 1, you know, is he, you know, going to sneak into
33:55
another boy's room or that kind of stuff.
33:57
You know, I want you to know that I'm there and the, the
34:00
staff that I train, I do my best to train them.
34:03
Well, when I first got here, the training that I had, you guys
34:10
were in between overnight people and so the training I got was
34:15
was very minimal. And that wasn't your guys fault.
34:17
That was a situational and I understand that.
34:20
But with that situation, I realized that I love this
34:24
position, I love this job. I love these boys.
34:27
And I want to make sure that they're they're safe and happy
34:30
and they get a good night's sleep.
34:31
We're making sure that these boys are safe, that they have,
34:35
you know, structure. And that's a big thing is the
34:37
structure too. And one thing I really love is
34:40
the fact that when I come in, the boys are supposed to be
34:44
asleep, right? So if I was to come in and say
34:47
830 and try to hang out with the boys right before they go to
34:51
bed, that's a new person coming in, a new body, a new person
34:55
that they could connect with and be overly exuberant with.
34:58
But if I come in after they're asleep and then here when they
35:01
wake up, then they're not, they're not getting that new
35:04
stimuli coming in. They're going to bed with the
35:07
staff that they knew and then getting up with me.
35:10
And then they can have that, that exuberant moment from
35:13
there. But, yeah.
35:15
And I'm not going to say that overnight is overlooked.
35:18
You know what I mean? Because you guys do care.
35:20
But there is times that, you know, it does get lonely.
35:24
Yeah. You know, and I do tell the
35:26
evening staff, I apologize if I'm talking to your ear off, but
35:28
hey, this is my 10 minutes. I need to just sit and talk with
35:31
somebody. Well, that's that's.
35:32
One reason why we wanted to have you on, you know, the podcast is
35:35
to to kind of affirm you, of course, and to encourage you and
35:39
to give you an opportunity to kind of share the integral
35:42
nature of what you do. And it is kind of unsung for
35:46
sure because you work in the darkness when everyone else is
35:50
gone. And also to thank you and your
35:52
wife and kids for helping out in so many ways we didn't mention.
35:55
Yeah, I do. I have a wife and I have a 5
35:57
year old. So like I said that.
35:59
And for what, a year? Year and a half you were Gordon.
36:04
You mentioned it. Yeah, yeah.
36:06
That wasn't just two, that was also her.
36:07
And yes, she. You brought in your daughter
36:09
and. Well the fun part was she was
36:11
technically the the kitchen manager at that point.
36:14
I just did it for fun to help her out and plus I love building
36:17
menus and things like that. One thing I did want to mention,
36:21
and this is going to sound kind of weird, but there's a video
36:25
game that I play at night called Bilatro.
36:27
I don't know if you guys have ever heard of it.
36:30
It uses poker hands to build on to itself and its own symmetry
36:36
to to play with on itself and to build better and to build
36:43
bigger. And as I was sitting there last
36:45
night, knowing that we were going to do the podcast today,
36:48
I'm like, this is very similar to how we handle the boys.
36:51
Because as this video game is a rogue light, which means that
36:54
every game is a little bit different because you get
36:58
different cards to play with. You get different, you know,
37:00
powers to, to put forward. And I kind of look at that the
37:03
same way we do our boys. We every new boy coming in is a
37:08
new adventure, a new, a new, you know, person to help.
37:13
And so we build upon, and it's never going to be the same thing
37:16
every single time, you know what I mean?
37:18
It's going to be different every time we come through with one of
37:21
these new boys. And, and I love that.
37:23
I love that we're able to personally connect with each one
37:26
of these boys to get them through this program and to help
37:29
them and, and make them better. Yeah.
37:30
And so like I said, I don't have the the wilderness connection.
37:34
I'm not that. I'm not that kind of guy.
37:35
I know. That.
37:36
But yeah, a good this podcast lacks good video game
37:39
connection. We're not good with those
37:42
analogies. So I like that.
37:44
That's really. That's yeah, I just everything
37:46
has its own geometry and and plays off of everything just
37:50
right. And looking at that from every
37:53
standpoint of every employee that we have here and what they
37:57
can bring to helping this young man with this game.
38:03
All of the Joker cards have different powers and abilities
38:06
that help you to get more points to move forward.
38:09
So I look at every single employee as another new joker
38:12
card in that that they have something new to bring to the
38:16
table that's going to help these boys in the long run.
38:18
Because even if they don't graduate, they're going to look
38:21
back and say, I, well, hopefully they will look back and say this
38:25
helped me. You know, this staff I didn't,
38:27
you know, I didn't like, but I understand what they were trying
38:29
to do Now. You know, I know we've had a
38:31
couple of interns here that were graduates and I know a couple of
38:34
them were like, I didn't like Mr. Tucker when I was here, but
38:37
I love him now. You know what I mean?
38:39
I see what he was trying to do for me and things like.
38:41
That and I'm gonna let that that joker card analogy just go.
38:45
I'm not gonna not gonna make any jokes about staff being jokers.
38:49
No, we could probably riff off a few.
38:53
Brandon, you got anything to add as we wrap up here?
38:59
Just to, I'd say thanks again, I've talked to other night staff
39:04
over the years, again from my perspective and knowing how
39:08
important it is and being house parents trying to get a good
39:11
night's sleep and just, it doesn't work very well without
39:15
that position. And so I know how important it
39:20
is. It's very vital to our program,
39:22
to our parents and for the boys, they they to know that
39:26
somebody's up and to feel that security, the element of
39:29
security. I think for all of our kids,
39:33
Speaking of our kids at home, not just here, like when our
39:35
kids feel secure, then everything kind of is a works
39:41
better off of that. So when mom and dad are at odds
39:46
and they feel insecurity with the relationship that mom and
39:49
dad are are having, then there's bad behaviors that get
39:54
manifested off of that. So this position brings a level
39:58
of security and and safety that the boys feel that they don't
40:02
even probably realize. I know it does for the parents.
40:06
And so it's a just a key part of the program and we're thankful
40:10
that you're have provided some continuity with that because
40:13
there's a lot of overnight staff and other positions that it's a
40:18
very. High turnover so.
40:21
Yeah, I know. We talked about that a little
40:23
bit before the. Podcast.
40:24
Started was the turnover rate on that.
40:26
Just in my couple of years here, I've seen 456 people come in and
40:32
go because it can be difficult. Like I said, you know, being
40:35
alone in the hallway for 10 hours and then you go home and
40:38
your family's all gone at school and work.
40:40
And, and you know, there's, there's loneliness at the house
40:43
too, as you're trying to sleep. And if you don't have the proper
40:46
blackout curtains, you're not sleeping so well.
40:49
So there, there is a level of difficulty to it, even with the
40:52
ease of the job. And there's also a level of
40:54
difficulty knowing that, you know, you're alone in that
40:58
hallway and there's, you know, 10 teenage boys in that hallway
41:03
that that you have to to watch and take care of.
41:06
And the Yeti And Mr. Brown's. Yeah.
41:12
But yeah, I, I absolutely love my job and I love, I love the
41:15
environment that we have here. You know, like I said, I, I had
41:18
another opportunity very similar to this and, and I chose here
41:21
because because I absolutely love the environment that we,
41:24
that we put forward and what we teach these boys and what we go
41:28
about giving them for life experiences.
41:31
Even the ones that don't graduate, they're gonna walk
41:33
away with new experiences and new things to think about.
41:37
Well, Curtis, we thank you for your service and what you bring
41:42
to the table. Thanks for coming in on a day
41:44
that you don't work. Yeah, your sleep time or
41:48
whatever. It is.
41:48
I worked last night. Yeah, technically speaking, I'm
41:51
going to be working for about the next 9 days.
41:54
So we appreciate you doing that and the checks in the mail for
41:59
your participation on this podcast.
42:02
So thanks and thanks to Thomas Brown for helping out with this
42:05
podcast. He's also a Creature of the
42:08
Night. Do you hear his movies
42:11
sometimes? I can hear him working on, like
42:12
a boy's graduation video and, like, 2 in the morning where I
42:15
hear, you know, where he's putting in people saying their
42:19
goodbye videos. And I'm like, is that?
42:21
Yeah. Like, I know of Mr. Tucker is at
42:23
home. I sleep, but I hear his voice
42:25
right now. Yes.
42:27
Like I hope that's not just in my head.
42:28
We have very dedicated staff who work here and you're one of them
42:32
for sure, Curtis. So thank you.
42:33
I want to end with the Bible verse.
42:35
Psalm 134 says praise the Lord, all you servants of the Lord who
42:40
minister by night in the House of the Lord, lift up your hands
42:43
in the sanctuary and praise the Lord, May the Lord bless you
42:47
from Zion, he who is maker of heaven and earth.
42:51
And that's it. It's it's a three verse Psalm
42:55
and I've never really paid close attention to that Psalm.
42:59
I'm definitely a creature of the night.
43:01
I've called myself a night goblin on more than two
43:03
occasions. Yeah, there.
43:04
You go. So thank you.
43:05
You're doing, you're doing the Lord's work and keep it up and
43:11
thanks again. So all right, and thank you all
43:13
for listening to Time to Sharpen.
43:15
We'll catch you next time. All right, take care.
43:27
Whetstone Boys Ranch is a therapeutic boarding school
43:29
located in the scenic Ozarks of southern Missouri.
43:33
It was founded in 2011 to serve families from around the country
43:37
who are struggling with challenging behaviors from their
43:40
12 to 16 year old sons. Our mission is to sharpen the
43:44
character of young men. Please visit
43:46
whetstoneboysranch.com if you want to learn more about our
43:49
program or about how to contact us for help.
43:53
Thanks for listening and we hope to catch you next time on A Time
43:56
to Sharpen.