Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How do Narcissists act around your family and friends

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How do Narcissists act around your family and friends · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammett
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This your first time seeing my
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  face or hearing my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
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  awareness for NPD. Get more people into therapy
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  like myself, six years y'all and also validate the victims,
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  survivors and the thrivers of said disorder.
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  Said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  Hey, today's episode is going to be about how do narcissists
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  behave or act around your friends and family, Your friends
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  and family. So I'm going to preface this
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  y'all, it is going to be a twoparter.
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  Part one is going to be about your friends and family.
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  In Part 2 is going to be about how they behave around their own
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  friends and family. So yeah, get ready to hop into
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  the net, make sure y'all subscribe to the newsletter.
• 0:53
  Y'all exciting news. My kids book is done.
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  I'm going to send a newsletter out with more information coming
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  up pretty soon. The link is in the description
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  of every video and podcast that I do.
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  I'm so excited. It's called Remember, it's not
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  your fault. It's coming soon to Amazon near
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  you. So yeah, but yeah, how do
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  narcissists behave around your friends and family?
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  Of course it's going to vary from person to person.
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  OK? Every narcissist is going to be
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  different. How they behave and how they act
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  around your friends and family because a lot of them doing the
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  love bombing phase or going to try to love bomb your friends
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  and family, you see what I'm saying?
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  I I call you. It's a it's a love bomb.
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  Y'all it's a love bomb. And when that bomb detonates,
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  shrapnel and debris and you know what do you call the shrapnel
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  from the bomb hits everybody around.
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  It doesn't just hit you. It's not just a a solo bomb.
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  It's this big bombing of love. So the love bomb is going to
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  blow up and the shrapnel is going to hit your friends, your
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  family, your kids, your your, your coworkers, whoever is
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  around you closely. So the narcissistic person, some
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  of them, if they're love bombing you, the love bomb is going to
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  encompass everybody around you. It's like a blast radius, like
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  the blast radius of a bomb. But the bomb goes off, not like
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  the bomb goes off. There's a certain radius radii
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  that that is affected by this bomb going off the same thing.
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  The same dynamic applies to a love bomb, because once that
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  love bomb goes off, there's be a certain sector or certain
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  certain radius affected, so your friends and family are within
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  that radius. So if I'm love bombing you, if I
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  want you to fall for me, I know I have to get your friends and
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  your family members the closest ones on my side.
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  Especially if you, if you have a strong relationship with your
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  friends and family. I know and a lot of other nurses
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  know that we have to get your friends.
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  Hey, my dog is doing too much job.
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  I know and everybody said a lot of people know that we have to
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  get your friends and family on our side.
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  We just do. So I'm going to love bomb them.
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  I'm going to if I'm the type of narcissist that wants to be
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  around him, I'm going to love bomb them as as well.
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  I want them to love me. I want them to.
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  I want them for. I want them to feel like you are
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  safe with me. So I'm going to do whatever it
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  takes to get to to make that happen.
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  I'm going to do whatever it takes to put that on my side.
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  I'm going to do whatever it takes to have that happen to go
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  forward with it. So that because that works out
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  for me. So the Love Bomb is going to
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  encompass all of them. I'm going to want to meet your
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  parents. I'm going to want to meet be
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  could be cool with them. I'm going to want to meet be
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  wants to be around them. I I I want them to feel safe.
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  I love. I love Lee.
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  Lee, you got your one right there, baby.
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  You know me. That type of stuff right there.
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  I want them to feel safe to. I want them to feel like you
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  were safe with me. And that way you feel like
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  you're safe with me. You see what I'm saying?
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  Your friends, your family, your BFF, you're bestie.
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  Your homeboy, your home, your your your tight, your tightest
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  people, Your first cousin to joke you grow up with.
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  It's just like your brother or like your sister.
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  I want that person to like me, too.
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  You know what I mean? I want that person to love me
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  like I love. I want them to feel the love
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  like, hey, I hate care about you.
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  Gotcha. You see what I'm saying?
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  Because that's the quickest way to your heart, you know?
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  It's the quickest for me and for a lot of other Narciss, that's
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  the quickest way to your heart is to get everybody around you
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  to like me as well. So I'm going to be cool around
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  them, you know? I ain't going to be cool around
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  them. I want to love bomb them.
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  I'm going to. I might surprise them.
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  Hey, it's your dad's birthday. Hey, let's do something special.
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  That's it. Let's do it.
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  They put it. Yeah, Surprise party got you.
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  Now, Dad, If Dad likes surprise parties, Dad likes me.
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  You see what I'm saying? But some narcissists will go all
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  out to get your parents on their side, you know, eventually.
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  Just like, like I say, your friends and family typically
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  kind of go through the same cycle of narcissistic abuse that
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  you do as well. Like Love Bomb, devalue,
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  discard, Hoover, sometimes Hoover after the love bombing
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  phase, they start to devalue, they start to kind of
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  disconnect. Once that narcissistic person
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  starts to disconnect from you, devalue you, then everybody else
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  gets the devaluation to Y'all. It's the same thing, the same
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  radius everybody get they got caught up in the love bombing
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  phase is now they're going to get caught up in the devaluation
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  phase. I talked to them.
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  I talked to you less, which means I talked to them less.
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  You know, sometimes like say that's how it goes and then once
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  I did start you, they get discarded too.
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  It's just like it's it's a it's a package deal with some
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  narcissist y'all, some nurses package the love bombing phase
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  up. They really, really do.
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  They packaged it up and do it and go about it like that.
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  When I said they love bombing you, everybody gets love
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  bombing. Y'all.
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  It's not just you, everybody gets a piece of it.
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  Everybody gets a Everybody gets a piece of the love bombing.
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  Everybody gets a piece of devaluation.
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  Everybody gets a piece of the the discard.
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  And when I Hoover, if I decide to Hoover, not all nurses is
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  Hoover. But if I if I want to Hoover you
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  or suck you back in, guess what, I might reach out to them
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  because I don't. The devaluation phase is not
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  going to be hit as hard with them, you know, because I'm
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  devaluing you. They get devalued by proxy.
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  It doesn't mean I'm not malicious in my intent with
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  them. So they might feel like I'm
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  going through something and they might actually help me Hoover
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  you in because I treated them good at first.
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  You see what I'm saying? We were good at first.
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  They don't, they don't know what happened.
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  They don't know where we where we went wrong, you see.
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  So sometimes like I love bomb them so I can come back later
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  on. But there is, like I said once
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  that some narcissist after the love bombing phase, y'all they
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  started once. They feel like everybody trust
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  them. They try to drive a wedge
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  between you and your family and friends.
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  The isolation phase starts to happen.
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  Y'all they started. They started to try to drive a
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  wedge between you and your family and friends even after
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  they might have loved mom. Now I'm cool with them at first,
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  but now I'm not. You said I'm cool with them at
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  first, but now I'm not. Now they weird.
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  Now you're your home girl. I feel like she might like me.
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  So I'm sorry. I'm.
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  I'm plenty little seeds in your head to make you feel
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  uncomfortable with me around your home girl, You said around
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  your best. Your BFF.
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  I'm starting to make you feel uncomfortable around them, you
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  see? So now I got you.
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  Now you don't want me to be around them.
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  So guess what? Simultaneously, you're not going
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  to be around them. I started to drive a wedge
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  between your mom, you and your mom, you and your dad, whoever
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  it is. So now I love bomb you.
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  I wanted to make it work. I love bomb them.
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  They feel safe with me, so they take a step back, too.
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  You see what I'm saying? That I can love bomb to drive
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  the wedge. Later it happens.
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  Y'all. They can love mom and get your
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  family and friends to fall in love with them.
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  And then they can start to isolate you away from them
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  because when they sometimes when they devalue you, they isolate
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  you. They get you away from your
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  support system. I want to make like at first I
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  want to make it feel like we are all on the support system.
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  We are all part of the same collective support system for
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  you, right? But then I want to be the only
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  support system you have. So I need to get them out the
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  picture. I need to make sure you contact
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  them less. You know what I mean?
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  So sometimes they're starting to drive their wedge between your
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  family and friends and stuff like that.
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  You know, even after they love bomb, you know, for that.
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  But that's the narcissist that want to meet your friends and
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  family. Y'all some of them don't.
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  There's there's another set of narcissistic people that might
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  love bomb you but don't want anything to do with your family
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  and friends. There's some narcissistic
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  people, talk to people, whatever name we ought to give them that
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  don't love bomb your family and friends.
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  They don't care about your family and friends.
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  They immediately start to try to isolate you away from them.
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  They don't try to cultivate a relationship with your family
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  and friends. It doesn't mean, like said, not
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  all nurses don't have to be cool with your family and friends.
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  They don't have to love bomb your family and friends.
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  Sometimes they love bombing the hell out of you.
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  They love. They put all the love bombing on
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  you. It's like a targeted missile
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  instead of a love bomb. It's like a love missile.
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  And his love missile is targeted just to hit you.
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  So there is very little shrapnel, if any.
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  There's a very little blast radius if there is one.
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  So the only you are getting there is a love missile instead
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  of a bomb. So only you get it.
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  And I don't want anybody else to get it.
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  I want to focus on you. I want to missile you with this
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  love so much that you don't want to be around your friends and
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  family. Because I don't like them and I
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  don't know them, you know, I don't even like them.
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  I don't want to have a relationship with them.
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  I don't want you to have a relationship with them because I
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  want to be your only the only support system.
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  I don't want. I don't want to risk the chance
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  of your family and friends knowing who I am.
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  You know what I mean? I haven't been.
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  I haven't worked. You know, I'm not.
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  I'm not a seasoned narcissist. I'm a rookie.
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  You see what I'm saying? I'm not a seasoned narcissist.
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  I'm a rookie. I'm a rookie narcissist in that
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  space right there. So if I'm a rookie narcissist, I
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  don't know how to love other people.
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  I don't. I feel uncomfortable on other
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  people. So I I don't mask well, right?
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  So if I'm not masking well, if I don't know how to mask, then I
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  just need to focus on you and focus on getting you away from
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  your family and friends. I don't want to have a
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  relationship with them, and simultaneously, I don't want you
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  to have a relationship with them.
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  Nobody has a relationship with your friends and family, your
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  BFF. You need to talk to them less.
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  Your homeboy, You need to talk to him less.
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  Your cousin, that's like a brother or sister to you talk to
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  them less. Your classmates.
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  Your coworkers that you hang out, you you hang out with after
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  work, Talk to them less. Your mom, dad, grandparents,
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  talk to them less. I need to be the only sort sort
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  that I need to be the only support system you have.
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  You know what I mean? I need to be the only support,
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  the only system of support you have.
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  I don't. I don't need any outside
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  influence coming into this relationship space and telling
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  me what to do. I don't need any other part of
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  that right there. I just need, I need to be me and
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  you so you have no one to go to. They don't know me.
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  I don't know them. I don't care to get to know
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  them. And there's some people who
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  haven't like that. Y'all been a narcissist for 2345
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  years, 10 years, and they've never even met your family and
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  friends. They don't care to meet your
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  family and friends. You see what I'm saying?
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  That it is in that space right there is it is in that space
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  right there. So it's a lot to deal with.
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  It's a lot to, you know, a lot to go on and a lot, a lot of
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  moving pieces in that situation. And also in that scenario,
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  there's so much, there's so many moving pieces.
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  Y'all as I was just saying, like, not all narcissists want
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  to be cool with your family and friends.
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  Some of them absolutely want to be away from them.
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  Some of them absolutely don't care to be around them because I
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  don't need any type of outside influence coming into this
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  world. I don't need any type of outside
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  influence coming into this situation and doing anything
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  like that. I don't need that.
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  I don't want that, you know? I don't need another voice in
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  your head telling me that I've done something wrong.
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  I don't need anybody to influence you to leave me or to
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  just say, hey, I don't trust him.
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  I don't need anybody else to point out, point out a red flag
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  that you might have missed. I don't need anybody else.
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  So some of them will absolutely act weird or indifferent around
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  your friends and family. And sometimes, even if they have
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  met your friends and family, they don't try to cultivate a
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  deeper relationship. It's surface level.
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  Hey, hey, hey. It's high and by some of them
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  will meet your family and friends but only cultivate a
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  surface level relationship. So y'all we at least we know
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  each other. You should say at least I know
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  who you are. You don't know me.
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  I know you know of me, you don't know me.
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  So there's a lot of moving pieces in this situation.
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  Y'all it's a it's a it's a mental thing.
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  It's a mindset. It's it really is a mindset.
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  It really is. There's a lot of moving pieces,
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  you know and a lot to just tell people some narcissists will
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  love by me, family and friends who want to be close to them and
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  others don't. You know, it really just
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  depends. It doesn't mean that they're
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  less narcissistic. Everybody has their own,
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  everybody has their own form of how they want to manipulate you
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  or how they go about manipulating others and whatnot.
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  So if you have a you you want to be a piece of that you know
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  there's like just tell people in these situations in these
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  scenarios you have to be able to go forward and move forward and
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  things like that. So empower yourself keep it
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  moving for y'all. Like I said don't try to force a
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  relationship with your family and friends.
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  Don't try to do that because they're just makes narcissist.
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  They just flames them on. You don't mean maybe with y'all?
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  Make sure y'all like subscribe and comment to the channel and
• 13:27
  like I said, make sure it likes subscribe to the the newsletter
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  because of me. Mom and daddy fight because of
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  me. Remember?
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  Peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  See you later.