Latest / The Parent Tap / The UPS Driver Who Made His Book Go Viral

Transcript

The UPS Driver Who Made His Book Go Viral · The Parent Tap

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You said at 37, you looked at your life and you didn't recognize the man in the mirror, a job and kids, the one major expense away from it all falling apart.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: So paint that exact moment for us.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: What was the exact question that broke through that fog?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: I will say the exact question and that is can I hold up to the leader that I'm I was presenting myself to be or trying to be?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Can I really hold up to that in the cycle that I am right now?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: With this one one major expense away from completely falling apart, having children, and just not no backup plan.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Can I hold up to the standard that I would want for myself?
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: And in and in in that aspect, when I asked that question, and it's a question that I think a lot of men would ask themselves in that position, am I doing what it takes to be who I want to be?
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it was not that.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: It was not.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't, I I wasn't, I wasn't gonna be whole I'd be able to hold up to the standard that I thought should should be uh held.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: And and to go even deeper to it, the standard that I was carrying at that time was only based on the circle of people that I was around because that this was their high ceiling.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I've realized that I had to expand my horizons if you if you want to call it that.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, no man, I I feel that.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: I got kids to 37 was your wake-up call.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 40.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so you grew up with almost no example though of what a man was supposed to be, right?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: For a parent who's parenting without that good template, um, you know, how do you raise kids differently?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, how do you kind of have to invent that blueprint as you go?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think you kind of see you already, if you're really, really paid attention to life, and this is what we miss a lot.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: We we are going through life and we are just following the template that was handed to us in the beginning.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then we have to look.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, listen, so even for me, I looked in how I'm turning out, and I look to see that don't get me wrong, like my dad wasn't an absent dad.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: He just wasn't an involved dad.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: He wasn't around as far as like in the house.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like I can call him.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: He'll show up, but I don't know when he's gonna show up.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: And when he did when he and even when he did show up, it was like a small amount of effort there, right?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I saw this cycle.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: I saw it going, and I'm looking, I'm actually looking at it and wondering if this is something that's sustainable.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Will this serve me well?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Will this serve my children well?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it came to the point that I realized this cycle is not going to work for my children.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to continue the same cycle.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because here's the thing: what I realized.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of men when they're raising children, especially like I like for me, my father, my grandfather, they didn't have good examples of leadership.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: They didn't have good examples of what a real protector provide in a dad that's actually involved.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: They didn't have that.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: So when I took time out, don't give a for a long time, Ryan, I was pissed off with my dad, like pissed with him.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, bro, why didn't you show up?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: Why didn't you do more?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Why didn't you make more of an effort?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I realized that dad didn't have a blueprint either.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Dad didn't know what to look at.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Dad didn't have all the examples that I have now.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can watch TV and see what a real dad is supposed to do.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: Even it might be a fake character on TV, but you're you're looking and saying, listen, okay, that's what a dad is supposed to do.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: This is what a provider is supposed to do.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: This is what a protector is supposed to do.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: So then I looked at all this stuff and I said, you know what?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to continue the same cycle and have the re my kids have the resentment for me that I did for my dad.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the thing though, Ryan.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Years later, once I came to the understanding that my dad didn't have the best example either, and he just did what he could with what he what what he had, I actually won't give him some grace and realized that he didn't have it either.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's powerful.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Cause like, yeah, like it is yeah, I feel that same way about you know my father sometimes too.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, like he worked a lot, you know, like he he provided a lot.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so in retrospect, I appreciate that more.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Cause you know, when I was a kid, I just felt like, oh, he's always gone.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: No, he's never around, kind of thing.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, he did he did, he busted his ass so we could have what we had, you know what I mean?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, man, I feel like that too.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And like, you know, the TV dad thing too, like resonates with me too.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: It took a while.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I always appreciate him and everything like that, but I think it really hit me when I had kids.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was 35, and I was like, I realized the sacrifices of like you gotta put the time in and you to you gotta provide, and like you can't always be with your kids, and so it kind of hit home for me a little bit more.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: How about yourself?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: When when did you kind of start having that grace for your for your pop?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think I would say is when I it wasn't when I first had kids because even then I still wasn't a a call-me first man.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Nah, yeah.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: It can't it took a while.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: It took a while when I actually realized that I needed to do something different.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: And the I needed to do something different, like I said, it didn't come till the age of 37.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: I had my first child at 29.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: So it didn't come until he's at it my kid was pretty much eight years old at the time when I realized and I said, listen, I gotta I gotta change some things up.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Don't get me wrong, when he was first born, I stopped, I stopped taking some of the risks that I took, I was used to taking.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't change completely because of the environment that I was with I was in, like the people that I was around.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't change completely.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, when that when that's that that that switch flipped, I realized, listen, I need to make a move here.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like can't if I continue this, my boy is going to follow my footsteps for do everything that I did.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it here's the thing, I wanted to being real selfish with that thought though, uh Ryan.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Here's why.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't the fact, it was the fact, of course, I didn't want him to take the steps that I did, but I knew that I couldn't stomach him getting into the trouble that I got into.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: I knew my my my heart couldn't take it, my stomach couldn't take it.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't want to put me through that.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I said, let me tighten up and get him on the right track, keep him on the right track.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Man, that's powerful.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's good stuff.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so your book's premise is like leading at home, leadership at home, right?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: So for you know, for the entrepreneur or dad spends all day leading out, you know, a team and networking, all that stuff, but they're not really like, you know, leading at home.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: What's what's the real cost of that?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: It it's it's too familiar.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and the reason why dad isn't leading at home is the it is it's too familiar.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: There is actually no real pressure, I should say.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's like the expectation becomes too familiar, meaning that he gets into a routine.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: He gets into uh a process of how he does things and he doesn't realize that this process needs evolving over time.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: He needs to change things up, he needs to be a little bit more involved here, a little bit more involved there, needs to step up in these aspects.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: But one once the the routine becomes routine and he doesn't change it up, things start, uh, I would say start dwindling away from the progression that the family needs to have.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: The him leading at work, there are there are expectations.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Him leading with the with the team outside.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: There are expectations that these people put on him that he knows he has to hold up to.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Everything at home now becomes a little bit more routine.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then again, he comes home so exhausted from everything that he had to do outside and come home where comfort is, and he's saying, This is my comfort zone.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Let me relax a little bit, let me fall back a little bit, let me take a little bit of the hedge off.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm good now.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really have to put much effort in.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that is a huge mistake that we make.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Huge mistake.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: I feel that too.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: I I go into that easy mode when I'm at home, you know, with my kids and whatnot.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I do it right now.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to do, man.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, that's that's important.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you talk about becoming a man who communicates, who shows up, who who's intentional and present.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times, you know, man, I struggle with this, to be honest with you.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, what's the hardest for you, you know, out of those to sort of like always be, you know, be showing up or to be to be like really putting the work in for these things?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: The hardest thing for me, the hardest thing for me, Ryan, is to be present.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Is to be present.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the thing.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: I know there are gonna be men that can relate to this.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: I know you can probably relate to this.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: When everything is on your shoulders, when the pressure is on you, when you are the guide, the the leader, the go-to man, you when you set the standard, when everything pretty much goes through you, you realize that if I and you we we think this though, right?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: If I take a day off, something isn't gonna get done.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: If I if I if I if I decide to take a break, something won't get finished.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: If I decided to leave it alone for today, the whole project is gonna fall apart.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be able to finish what I need to finish.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then if I can't finish what I need to finish, then that means that the family's gonna be lacking something.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Something isn't gonna get done.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm taking all of this all into consideration.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking at my family that, okay, they need me to do something, but what they need me to do ain't as important as what I need to do now to get these bills paid.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it hurts us.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: I still struggle with this because I feel like the pressure of being the leader, the pressure of being the man.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really I don't think our children may understand, and not even our wives may understand that if this falls apart, nobody's looking at you guys for of what happened.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: They're looking at the man.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: I have a standard that I have to keep.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: I and and I struggle.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: I struggle, bro.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: I struggle to be present because I know what the consequences are if I don't follow through and I'm not paying attention to the consequences that are happening because I'm not present.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: I try my best though.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Once I understand what is going on, I see what's going on.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: So what I do now, and I what I I didn't do this before.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: What I do now, there are days, and then and this here's the thing.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: There are days that I don't work.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: I actually set days that I will not work.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Here, and guess what?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Today's one of those days that I I don't work today.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know what I was doing before I got on here and I left early to come get on here with you with you?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: I was out uh practicing baseball with my son.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was tossing him pitches and he was batting.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, listen, I gotta leave out of here in a couple months.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean we we were out there for about 45 minutes or so.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I gotta leave out, I gotta go take care of something with the uh with with the with Ryan and then we're good to go.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: But like I said, if I were if I didn't decide to take the day off to actually not do work and be present with my family, I wouldn't have had that time to spend with my son hitting a baseball.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: We have to do that.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's so true.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's so true.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and the pressure, that's the voice in my head too.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's like always, I gotta do shit.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta, I gotta get like all this stuff together.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if it all falls apart, like yeah, it's all on me.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's my fault.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: I should have done more.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so you have those thoughts, or I almost feel like it's anxieties of just like general stuff of like if I don't work my ass off of it, it's not gonna happen, you know.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's a billion things to do all the time.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's very hard, like you said, to be present.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's very hard to play baseball with your kid.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going bowling with my daughter, she gets off from school early on Wednesdays, and so I'm going bowling with my daughter and my dad and stuff tonight.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like I'm actually taking the time to do it.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I was thinking like in my head this morning when I was reciting what I have to do, I was like, oh man, and I have I don't have enough time, you know, to get everything done today because I gotta go bowling and I gotta hang out with my dad.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like that's such a bad way to think because it's like you know, it seems like maybe it seems like like family always gets the short end of the stick because we have so much pressure on us, right?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh man, I would rather, I'd rather edit.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'd rather like do this and this and this and I didn't, you know, and it's stupid because it's like, you know, like someday when I get older, I'm like, I'm gonna really cherish and appreciate that.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: I walk I'll look back on this episode and be like, oh man, if you could only go bowling again with your dad.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like that kind of thing.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's one of those things you just gotta enjoy and be present.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: And man, I gotta get into the UPS story because that's that's I'm sure you always like you know talk about this, but that's like kind of the claim to fame, so to speak.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know, the UPS driver who came uh who read your book on a delivery and came back with a ring camera review that reached uh 33 million views on TikTok.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder, man.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder everyone's like attached.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: That that's a good story to be attached to you.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like my my people of my name.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: But what did that moment tell you about how hungry men are, you know, in families for this kind of message and for that that powerful story that you've delivered?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: When just to give some clarity on it, that gentleman, Kyle and I, we became such good friends after that.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, like we we hang out now completely.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Matter of fact, Labor Day, I'm going to his house for for for uh for family dinner at his house.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: My wife and I went to his house for family dinner.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so um he uh that that situation, when Kyle came back, and when he came back and I actually rang the doorbell, I was not home.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: I was at the doctor's office.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: I had uh an injury to my hand, I went to go get uh some uh physical therapy.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I was not home.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: And when he came and he rang the doorbell, I was thinking that, damn, this guy has more books.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I wasn't in a position to, you know, I mean, uh I it's it's a bit of a story behind those books.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: And if you if you want me to get into it, I can.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: But there's a bit there's a bit of a story behind that.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: But when he came back and he rang that doorbell and he told me how good the book was, hey Ryan, I feel like I made it at that point, bro.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: When I say, it's one thing to get to get feedback from family and friends.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: They love you, they they want to support you, they want to give you this.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: But for this stranger to come back and tell me that he enjoyed my book and my book did something for him, bro.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like I made it.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I did at that moment when I hung up with Kyle?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you could hear the excitement in my voice when I when he walked off of the porch, but when he when he uh when he left, I immediately downloaded that video.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: I downloaded the video, I sent it to my mom, I sent it to my sister, I sent it to my wife.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: I said, look at this.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yo, a stranger came back and he loved the book.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh God, I feel like I made it.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, wow, this is like my first validation from a stranger.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, people leave comments and reviews and things like that, but this is my first one that I'm verbally hearing from a stranger.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: Dude, I'm I felt like I made it at that point, bro.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's that's amazing.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yo, you said people that you're in your inner circle, they're always telling you good stuff.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, to hear it from like someone from the outside of that, that's that's gold.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: No, give the viewers some more context about the whole story and you know, like the origins of it and you know, kind of how it's transformed your whole life.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because like you just said, sure, though.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: It it changed my mind.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Telling your origin story.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Here's it.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Picture this.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a truck driver.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm driving overnights.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I'm driving 400 miles a night, seven and a half hours every night.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I've been, I'm probably doing this for at that time, maybe like four or five years, the overnight shift.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: But actually, a truck driver for that company, I was there.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: I I wound up doing about eight years there.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: When 2025 hit, early 2025, I got to the point where I'm asking, I I'm at the this crossroads in life, and I'm trying to figure out what do I don't want to be a truck driver for the rest of my life.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: What is it that I need to do?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: What is it, what is it I should be doing?
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I couldn't figure it out.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: And there were a couple people that was really close to me and then they knew me well.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: Now, these people that I'm gonna tell you about right now, as three of them, they they they don't know each other at all personally.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: They know me, they don't know each other.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: I asked all three of them.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: I said, What do you what could you see me doing if I had to pick a career right now or a path right now that I'm not a truck driver?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: What could you see me doing?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: All three of these people that don't know each other said, Damn, you need to be talking.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever it is that you need to be doing, you need to be talking.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: You need to be doing some type of podcast, you need to be doing some type of seminar, you need to be doing something, you need to be giving giving your message because the the perspective that you have of life of life, people need to hear.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I said, you know what?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: I started the, I started running a uh a show myself and doing my thing there.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then at the same token, though, I'm realizing some of the things that I'm saying in the show that I realize that this needs to, I need to preserve it because what I'm talking about in the show is leadership.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: And as I'm talking about leadership, I'm I'm realizing that I'm looking around like I have kids.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: If something happens to me, I don't have the resources or the circle around me that can raise them in the idea that I'm that I'm presenting right now.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: Let me write a book.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: Let me put it in a book so I can have something delivered to my sons so they know what it is like to be a leader.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: Something to my daughter so she knows what to look for in a man.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's more.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: The books get the book gets written.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: Book publishes in September of 2025.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, October of 2025.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: Before we get to October, my wife and I are completely stressed out with th throughout the year.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: She drives two hours to work, she drives two and a half, two, two hours back home.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: So my wife is going from New Jersey to Brooklyn, New York every day to go to work.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: So this winds up being a situation, and I'm I'm driving this truck overnight.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now, Ryan, I've been married.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: I w at this point I'm married almost three years, and I'm working an overnight shift.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: In three years, Ryan, I probably spent maybe 30 nights in the house in three years.
• 16:29
  unknown: Wow.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: So imagine being freshly married in three years.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: You only probably only spent 30 nights in the house.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, stress of that, my wife and I, early in our early, we decided we were gonna save money and we were gonna go all in with our business.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: When August of 2025 came, my wife left her job early August.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: I left my job mid-August.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: We had about six months of money saved up.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: We were gonna go all in with the business.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: And the idea of going all in with the business is in six months, this business should pick up and we should start being able to make money.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: So the business was to write the book, sell the book, and to spread my message across, which is the call me first uh message.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: We want paid some money to get the book edited, get the book published, get everything.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: September, October, November, the book is selling.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe uh almost 2,000 copies at that point.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: When December hits, Ryan, I'm almost out of money.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: The money that I've been making from the book is only covering what we spent to get the book made.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm almost out of money.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: It just happened early December.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: One of the videos that I posted on TikTok wound up getting a couple hundred thousand views and a couple sales came in, which was good, but that wears off after a while.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: So now we fast forward a little bit more now to January.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: At this point, Ryan, I got six weeks of money left.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: I I mean literally six weeks of money left based on how our bills are.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm telling my wife now, hey babe, I tried.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: I failed.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: I can't do anything else.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm I'm done.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: I have nothing.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: I have nothing.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, babe.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna you're gonna have to go back to work.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have to go back to work, and this is where we are.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: Every time I tell this story, it chokes me up.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: My wife looked at me and she said, Babe, you're not done.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: You're not failing.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't fail.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's not over.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: You need to buy more books.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: I said, What?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Buy more books?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Are you nuts?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have any money.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have any money.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: What do you mean buy more books?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: She said, You need to buy more books.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: I said, No way.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: There's no way.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: This money here that we have left, we gotta figure something out.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: We gotta be able to get a job, get a get work, and get back, get things going so we can actually keep up with it and pay the mortgage.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: She said, I'm saying, there's no way I'm doing that.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm not doing it.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: She said, babe, we need to buy more books.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I'm I'm I'm through.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not having this conversation.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm home.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in this office here.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm stressed out.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: January 15th.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: I hear the doorbell ring.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: My wife isn't home at the time.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: I go upstairs, I go upstairs and I get to the door, and I look at the peephole and I could see a UPS truck outside.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: I open the door and I see this guy bringing boxes.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I could see that this box is of books because of the label that's on the box.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, what the heck is going on?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: And Kyle says to me, he walks up to the porch and he says, Hey, dude, they with all these books.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Yeah, I said, you know what, bro?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna give you one.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna give you a book.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: And he kept on bringing the books and he says, Hey, you have 10 today.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, 10?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: Shit.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now in my brain, it's like, what do you mean we have 10 boxes of books?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: I can't even sell the books that the few books that we have here.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: What do you mean we have 10 boxes of books?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: And he kept on bringing the books, books in.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: So he's carrying the cases in.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: I go inside, I bring some of the cases in that he's bring he's bringing.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I grab a book for him.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: I even sign the book on the inside of the house.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: I bring the book.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: He comes to the porch, his hands are full.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: I got the book in my hand, so I'll put the book down to grab the boxes out of his hand.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I grab the boxes out of his hand, he reaches down and he picks the book up.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, Is this it?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yeah.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, Yo, dude, thank you.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: I said, bro, it's going the book is going crazy.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: He said, Thank you.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: And he walked off the porch.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: He goes back to his truck, and that was pretty much the whole thing.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I and I went on in the video to tell video uh people in the video what the what the book was about.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, two days later, Kyle comes back.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: This is this was all caught on Ring Bell Camera.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: That first day when he came to drop the books off, and the second day, two days later, he comes back to drive uh to tell me about the book.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: And he rings the doorbell.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said before, I wasn't home, I was at the doctor's office.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: And he rings the doorbell, and I'm like, what is this guy here for?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: And he decides to tell me how good the book was, and he read it, and he he how he enjoyed the book.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like I told you, dude, I was stoked about this.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, so I said, you know what?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like I told you, I sent this to my mom, my sister, and my wife.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, you know what?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Let me put both of these videos together.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Put it on TikTok.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Let me see if I could get some sales.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited that the UPS driver liked my book.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: Let me put these videos together.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: Remind you, dude.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: I told you how stressed out I was.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I was, I was, I was done for.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't, I'm already upset that these books came in and whatever situation is.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: I said, let me put these put the video together and put it on TikTok.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: This was 9.30 at night.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: This was 9.30 at night.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I couldn't think of what to write with the video.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I go on ChatGPT.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: I know I'm long-winded with a story here, but I'm pretty sure your audience is gonna love it.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: I go on, I go on, I get on ChatGPT and I go and I get a caption.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: I tell ChatGPT what the video has in it and get a caption from it.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: And what I did was the dumbest thing I could have done at that moment, dude, but it wound up paying off.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: The actual prompt that I gave ChatGPT, I hit copy and I wind up copying the daggone prompt and with the response that ChatGPT gave me, and I wind up posting that with the video.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: My goodness.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: Why did I do that?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: What a mistake.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, the video gets posted.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm used to getting 100 to 300 views.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Anybody that does TikTok, they know that's the 100 to 300 view gel, is what they they call it.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: That if your video doesn't make it past 300 views, it's not going anywhere.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: This is like I said, this is 9 30.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: I go to bed.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: I wake up around 1 30 to go to the bathroom or whatever it is.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I decided to take a look at the video.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: I look at the video, it has 1700 views on it.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, wow.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is a lot for me.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: This is a lot.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't think nothing of it, dude.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: I went to bed.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: 8:30 that morning, I can hear my front door close.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's my wife coming back in and from dropping the kids off.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I wake up, I say my prayers and everything.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: I reach over and I grab my cell phone and I look.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: If anybody has TikTok, when you open TikTok up, it tells you the notifications at the bottom.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is my first time in life seeing notifications at the bottom of that thing that says 99 plus.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I see 99 plus, I'm like, what?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: I've never seen this before.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: I click it, I go to the video.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: 2.4 million views overnight.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: 2.4 million views.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I sit up in the bed, I'm like, what?
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I say, hold on.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: If this thing got 2.4 million views, how many books did I sell?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: I look now, okay.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: I need to make money.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: I look, it was 360 books overnight.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: 360 books sold overnight.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sitting there, dude, and I'm I get up and I'm standing up on the bed.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: Dude, I'm shaking.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: When I say I'm shaking, dude, I'm like, what is going on here?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I go to my wife and I go to her and I couldn't even talk.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't even talk.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm shaking, dude.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I show her the phone and she looked at it.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: She said, Listen, I told you to have faith.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: Told you to have faith.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: Look, I told you to have faith.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: And she gave me gives me a hug and we hug each other and we we're excited as heck about this.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: Dude, by the time this was 8:30 in the morning, by the time 12 o'clock hit, it was like almost 7 million views on air at 12 o'clock.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I did?
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: I was so excited about it.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: I hopped in my car and I started driving around looking for the UPS driver.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because I wanted to tell him what was going on.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't find him.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: I wound up finding a couple of other UPS drivers.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: One of them actually knew him and called him and told him that I was looking for him.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, and I and here's the thing.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to wrap this up now.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to land a plane here.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: I went on now and I started going back and looking through my ring, ring, my camera, my doorbell camera videos to see around what time does he come in this area.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: And he comes in, he he he shows up in this area between like one and two o'clock.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I said, I'm going to sit outside in my car and wait and see if he drives by.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm outside of my car for a few minutes.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Here he comes making the delivery to the next next door neighbor.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: And he makes the delivery and I hop out of my car, like, dude, did you, do you know what's going on?
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, Yo, everybody's calling me, bro.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: I can't believe that happened.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: I can't believe it blew up.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: And we shared a moment then and it went from then.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: The video just kept going to the point.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: So much more to this story, dude, but I don't want to take up too much of your time.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: But the video went on and it got us on uh the national TV with the uh with the News 12.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: That video until recent, and I I'm not sure, I haven't checked the lady lately on News 12 New Jersey.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry if I'm giving a shout out here that I shouldn't be doing.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: Nah, go for it.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: So on News 12 New Jersey, their Instagram, that video was the highest viewed video in their history on the News 12 New Jersey.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: We also made it to national TV on the Tamon Hall show, which is the number which was at the time with the number one daytime TV talk show.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: And the good thing about that is Tamaron Hall founded me, found that video herself.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: And they they tracked us down.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: When Tamron Hall found me, I was in Jamaica.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was in Jamaica with no reception, with no Wi-Fi, no anything.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: So much is I'm uh I'm gonna tell this story.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this story's gonna come out soon.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: But just to give you a quicker, here's how everything worked out, dude.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: I have no reception for days in Jamaica.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't even knowing anything about any of this, right?
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: During this time, this video was going viral.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: I already had a vacation planned there.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: I was born in Jamaica.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: I went back to go take care of some family stuff.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, no Wi-Fi.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: I wound up going to a house that my family owns and saw that there was a security system there.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew and I recognized that there was a box there that had Wi-Fi code on it and everything.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I put the code in on my phone to get to the Wi-Fi.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: 90 seconds later, my phone rings.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: It is one of Tamon Hall's investigative team that was that tracked me down by calling every number they can find that was related to me and wound up finding one of my exes to get my phone number to bring me on their show.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: This was 90 seconds after I got Wi-Fi and I didn't have Wi-Fi the entire time I was there.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: How cool is that?
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: Damn, man.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: Just about the the the timing and the opportunity and the faith.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of people do this probably, like they they relate it to their own lives, and like I'm kind of going through one of those situations too.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: I got laid off in June and like, you know, started to lay out the bills, and like, how much longer do we have?
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I gotta make this work.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: It does like mount on you, and like I think everyone is just that that story about having faith and trust in what you're doing, and like it's easy to say and in rich in retrospect, right?
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're going through it, man, when you're the when you're the one that's pressured with this is a powerful story, and I'm so glad that this happened to you because you're a great guy, I appreciate it, and you deserve that.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to go out and get this book right now because I for real, I got goosebumps on my on my legs right now because I'm just like this is this is what I needed to hear today.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: Cause like I'm kind of in one of these situations myself, Damien, you know, where it's like, I just I don't know where it's gonna come from, but God, you know, in my personal view, anyways, has always provided for me.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: Who never thinks is God's rough, you know, and I don't know how it's gonna work out, but I know it's gonna work out, you know what I mean?
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: And and just trying to convey that to other people sometimes has been very difficult for me and my situation because they're always like, oh, how's your job search going?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or oh, how's the podcast going?
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: And they're always just like, you know, since I haven't quite made it yet in any of these realms, it's it's kind of like, oh man, it's it's hard to convince them that it's gonna work.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I know and you know, my gut instinct says it's gonna work.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't know how it's gonna work because I know the past 40 years, it's always worked out, like it's always worked easy.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: Look at how far we came.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: Look how far we made, it always worked out.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: It always did, always, bro.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: We'll figure it out.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: 47 million views.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: That is that is wild.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it's gonna keep going up.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of those evergreen things.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it went up four million views, dude, in the last three weeks.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: Went up four million views in three weeks.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it went up four million views in three weeks, dude.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: That was great for business, right?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, tell us about this book, man.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: Where where can our viewers get this?
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: You can find the book on callmefirstshop.com.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: You can also find it on Amazon.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: You can definitely find it on on TikTok.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it's called Call Me First, Man's Blueprint for True Leadership at Home.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: Also in October of 2026, um, I don't know when this is gonna air.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: I have another book that's coming out that is called Men Don't Get to Break.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: Lift your head up.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: Your family's watching you.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: So that book also comes out in October 2026.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: You can find me on all socials at Call Me First Uh Podcast or Call Me First Blueprint if anyone wants to reach out.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: And if you want to contact me directly, you can also go to callmefirstshot.com and and and send me an email.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: You're such a great interviewer, bro.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate that, man.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: You're awesome.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're you're great.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: And even so much more, too, just to even add a little bit more to it.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're you you're you want to get the book because it it uh you find you you may find value in it.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: I want to tell you this, and it's not because I wrote the book, it is real value inside of the book.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I know it is because of the reviews and the DMs that I get from the men that read that book.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: Not even just the men, the women that are with the men and the change they get from reading the book.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: The book is at always at 17,000 plus copies sold.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: And this is within a 10-month period.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it's still going.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm selling books daily of that same book, and I'm so grateful for it, bro.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm grateful for people like you that that that you know will tell me that they're interested in it, that that get value from it.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: It gives me the motivation to keep pushing, and I just want to tell you how much I appreciate you, bro.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: Just for even saying the words that you said.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: Appreciate that, Damian Lewis.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.