Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 456. Navigating Relationship Dilemmas and Finding Inner Peace (Headnoise)

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456. Navigating Relationship Dilemmas and Finding Inner Peace (Headnoise) · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:19
Speaker 1: Bonjo, everyone, and welcome to the podcast episode of today.
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Speaker 1: So this is a Head Noise podcast episode. Very excited
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Speaker 1: to be back recording the Head Noise episodes because I
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Speaker 1: love to talk number one, and I also love to
0:33
Speaker 1: give you advice. And I also love hearing your stories
0:36
Speaker 1: because I feel like it connects me to you guys
0:39
Speaker 1: a little bit more. It's almost like we get to
0:41
Speaker 1: have a conversation, like me with my audience. So yeah,
0:45
Speaker 1: I'm feeling refreshed, I'm feeling good. This is one of
0:48
Speaker 1: the episodes you're going to find, especially if you watch
0:50
Speaker 1: the video version of these episodes. Most of them are
0:54
Speaker 1: on Spotify otherwise I am slowly adding them to YouTube
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Speaker 1: as well. But if you watching the video, you'll see
1:01
Speaker 1: that I am not pregnant because I'm recording this kind of,
1:06
Speaker 1: you know, a week prior to it going live. But
1:07
Speaker 1: then you might see some episodes ahead of this where
1:10
Speaker 1: I'm heavenly pregnant because I didn't know how long it
1:13
Speaker 1: would take me after birthing the twins to get back
1:17
Speaker 1: into recording and how i'd feel mentally. And one thing
1:19
Speaker 1: that I must say just kind of I'm digressing here,
1:21
Speaker 1: but whatever, just you know, indulge me. One thing that
1:25
Speaker 1: I must say is that I was really I guess
1:29
Speaker 1: the thing that apprehensive is probably the word, and I
1:33
Speaker 1: want to say, afraid of the notion that you lose
1:37
Speaker 1: a passion for what you do, or your sense of
1:39
Speaker 1: self or your identity, or you're kind of really really lost.
1:42
Speaker 1: I've heard many, many stories about that. So I was thinking,
1:46
Speaker 1: am I even going to want to podcast so close
1:49
Speaker 1: to having the kids? Am I going to feel like
1:52
Speaker 1: this is what you know, I'm in the mood to do.
1:54
Speaker 1: How long will it take me to feel like myself
1:56
Speaker 1: to get back you know, on the mic and in
1:59
Speaker 1: front of the camera and all that. And I'm stoked
2:01
Speaker 1: to say that that passion never went away, you know,
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Speaker 1: even from even from when I wasn't actually ready to
2:07
Speaker 1: be talking, you know, in the first couple of weeks
2:09
Speaker 1: to be talking on a podcast and you know, stringing
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Speaker 1: a sentence together, I was still very excited to do so.
2:14
Speaker 1: So I'm just thrilled to be back. And I am
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Speaker 1: also thrilled that I do have a buffer of episodes
2:20
Speaker 1: that I had recorded in kind of July August, so
2:25
Speaker 1: it kind of allows me to, you know, take the
2:28
Speaker 1: time when needed Anyway, let's get straight into your questions. Now.
2:32
Speaker 1: These are questions that were emailed through. As you guys know,
2:34
Speaker 1: I have voice note episodes and I've got email episodes.
2:38
Speaker 1: This one is an email episode, and I mean, I'll
2:41
Speaker 1: read all of as many of them out as possible.
2:43
Speaker 1: But when you guys put a good title, you know
2:46
Speaker 1: how much I love a good title that it sings
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Speaker 1: to me. So I you know, not that I would
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Speaker 1: preference the ones with good titles over the ones with
2:54
Speaker 1: not good titles. But I'm here for tea, okay, and
2:57
Speaker 1: so are all you guys. Obviously, that's why you're listening. Okay,
2:59
Speaker 1: let's get straight into it. This is a juicy title.
3:02
Speaker 1: She's got the ring, I've got the anxiety. Love it already. Hi, Alexis,
3:07
Speaker 1: congratulations on the twins. I just wanted to say thank you.
3:10
Speaker 1: Your podcast has helped me so much. I went to
3:12
Speaker 1: your live show in Adelaide and it was amazing. Yes
3:15
Speaker 1: to the live show, guys, I'm not joking when I
3:17
Speaker 1: say I think I want to do a live show
3:19
Speaker 1: tour annually and have different themes every year, so it's
3:23
Speaker 1: not the same live show. But I had probably one
3:26
Speaker 1: of the like that was the time of my life
3:28
Speaker 1: doing the live show tour. Meeting you guys was unbelievable,
3:30
Speaker 1: So thank you for coming to my live show tour.
3:33
Speaker 1: I brought my childhood best friend along. She had no
3:36
Speaker 1: idea who you were or what the podcast was about,
3:38
Speaker 1: but she walked out feeling so inspired. Thank you. It
3:41
Speaker 1: really opened her eyes about a lot of things, especially
3:43
Speaker 1: her previous toxic relationship, So thank you for that. Amazing.
3:48
Speaker 1: I have a little dilemma I'd love your thoughts on.
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Speaker 1: One of my good friends recently got engaged. They've been
3:53
Speaker 1: together over a year and are planning to get married
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Speaker 1: in November twenty twenty six. I'm her maid up honor
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Speaker 1: and she's only twenty. He won. They've never lived together,
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Speaker 1: and when I brought that up, she said they can't
4:04
Speaker 1: until marriage because of her parents' religious beliefs, even though
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Speaker 1: they've already been intimate. I've spoken with some of her
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Speaker 1: other friends and we all feel she might be rushing
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Speaker 1: into things. She's quite immature and doesn't always take constructive
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Speaker 1: criticism well. But I'm probably the one person she does
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Speaker 1: tend to listen to. Do you think I should bring
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Speaker 1: it up again face to face I'm just worried she
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Speaker 1: hasn't really thought it through and might regret it later.
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Speaker 1: I also don't want to overstep or seem like a
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Speaker 1: bad friend for raising it again, especially after I said
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Speaker 1: yes to being her maid of honor. Thanks in advance.
4:34
Speaker 1: I really appreciate you and everything that you do on
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Speaker 1: the podcast. Okay, this is a really good question because
4:39
Speaker 1: it's kind of that fine line of do I just
4:42
Speaker 1: watch my friend walk into something that you know, I
4:46
Speaker 1: know for a fact is not going to end well,
4:49
Speaker 1: and I just you know, watch them walk into it.
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Speaker 1: Do I support them regardless of what it is that
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Speaker 1: they're doing with their life, because you know, I'm going
4:55
Speaker 1: to be there for them whether it works out, whether
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Speaker 1: it doesn't. Like where do I sit on this? So
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Speaker 1: I think there's a few questions that you need to
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Speaker 1: ask yourself, because ultimately, she is an adult. Yes, she's young,
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Speaker 1: but she is an adult and it is her decision
5:06
Speaker 1: and she can do whatever she wants, even if it's
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Speaker 1: a bad decision. Because one thing that is important to
5:12
Speaker 1: note is no matter how many times someone tells us
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Speaker 1: something or tries to teach us a lesson, some lessons
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Speaker 1: we just have to go through ourselves some lessons. No
5:23
Speaker 1: matter all the advice you get, it's like, I have
5:26
Speaker 1: to go through this pucked life situation and experience it
5:31
Speaker 1: for myself and feel the feelings, go through the roller coaster,
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Speaker 1: have the lowest of lows, and then be the one
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Speaker 1: that climbs myself out of this pit, this emotional pit,
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Speaker 1: in order for me to learn that lesson. Okay, So,
5:44
Speaker 1: for example, when you're a teenager or a young adult,
5:47
Speaker 1: all the advice that older people as in like parents
5:50
Speaker 1: or aunties, uncles or whatever could give you on dating,
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Speaker 1: we just kind of got out the window because it's like,
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Speaker 1: I don't really care what you have to say. This
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Speaker 1: is what I want to do. I'm going to go
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Speaker 1: ahead and do it. So everything that I'm going to say,
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Speaker 1: you've got to acknowledge. Number one, that she's not only
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Speaker 1: entitled to do what she wants, but she's also entitled
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Speaker 1: to make her own mistakes. We are all entitled to
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Speaker 1: our own mistakes as long as it's not hurting, you know,
6:13
Speaker 1: intentionally hurting other people around us. I think that we
6:16
Speaker 1: deserve to make our own mistakes and learn through them.
6:18
Speaker 1: Because you also don't want to live a totally sheltered
6:20
Speaker 1: life either. Okay, So now having said that, what do
6:23
Speaker 1: you think she is really feeling? Because if I were
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Speaker 1: you and my friend was going through this and they
6:28
Speaker 1: genuinely were thrilled about this entire decision, like they were
6:32
Speaker 1: really happy, and even if I was like, oh my god,
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Speaker 1: this is going to end in disaster, but if they
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Speaker 1: were happy, I wouldn't do anything. And the reason why
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Speaker 1: I wouldn't do anything is because they're not going to
6:42
Speaker 1: see it from your perspective. They're not going to say it.
6:45
Speaker 1: They're happy. Whether it's a stupid decision, it doesn't matter.
6:48
Speaker 1: They're thrilled. They're not gonna be like, oh, well, you
6:51
Speaker 1: know the voice of reason is spoken. I'm not. Unfortunately,
6:53
Speaker 1: as sometimes you want to shake our friends, but we can't,
6:57
Speaker 1: and unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about it. And
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Speaker 1: if they're happy, they're not going to change their mind.
7:02
Speaker 1: So really ask yourself, is she walking into this happy? Naive, yes, stupidity, yes,
7:07
Speaker 1: all of the above? Yes? Is she happy? And if
7:10
Speaker 1: the answer is yes, there's nothing you can say that's
7:12
Speaker 1: going to change her mind, and that's when it's going
7:14
Speaker 1: to put a divide. Okay, So that's one thing she's happy.
7:17
Speaker 1: Let's not go there. Let's just I'm just going to
7:20
Speaker 1: hold your hand when it all breaks down, and I'm
7:22
Speaker 1: not going to say I told you so. I'm just
7:23
Speaker 1: going to be a genuine friend and I'm going to
7:25
Speaker 1: be there for you when it breaks down. If you
7:28
Speaker 1: think that she's doing it for the wrong reasons, maybe
7:31
Speaker 1: she felt like she thought getting married was the next
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Speaker 1: logical step because she doesn't have the support of the
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Speaker 1: families because they've got a religious background, and it's kind
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Speaker 1: of rushing into it because that way they can have
7:44
Speaker 1: more freedom. If you think that she feels pressured to
7:50
Speaker 1: marry him, if you think that she's having second you know,
7:53
Speaker 1: if she's second guessing herself, or you know, really deep
7:56
Speaker 1: down and she's questioning herself, if she thinks that she
7:58
Speaker 1: jumped the gun too fast, any of these things where
8:01
Speaker 1: you think that, and it's not just a presumption where
8:03
Speaker 1: she's actually voiced this or demonstrated that she feels this way,
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Speaker 1: then I think it is worth having a very open conversation.
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Speaker 1: And it could be and it's not saying, you know,
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Speaker 1: I'm having an intervention, you shouldn't marry this guy. It's
8:17
Speaker 1: not that at all. I think one of the best
8:18
Speaker 1: ways to get people to come to conclusions is to
8:21
Speaker 1: get them asking themselves questions. The more you can get
8:24
Speaker 1: them to ask themselves questions, the more they're going to
8:26
Speaker 1: do their own investigate, investigatory work. And it's kind of
8:31
Speaker 1: like what psychologists do. A good psychologist will make you
8:34
Speaker 1: believe that you came up with a solution yourself. I mean,
8:37
Speaker 1: you technically did come up with the solution yourself, but
8:39
Speaker 1: a good psychologist doesn't want to sit you down and
8:40
Speaker 1: say this is what you have to do ABAC. A
8:42
Speaker 1: good psychologist would say, why do you feel the way
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Speaker 1: you feel? And have you ever thought about it this way?
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Speaker 1: And what's another possible solution for this? And they will
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Speaker 1: get you opening up your mind and then getting to
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Speaker 1: the point where you're like, thing, light bulb, I've come
8:55
Speaker 1: to the conclusion myself, and they kind of coached you there,
8:58
Speaker 1: but you ultimately came up with, you know, the answer
9:02
Speaker 1: of the conclusion. That's what you want to do with
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Speaker 1: your friend. If she's talking about doubts or whatever, you
9:07
Speaker 1: start to ask her, do you think that this is,
9:10
Speaker 1: you know, always going to be the same way? Do
9:12
Speaker 1: you feel like there was a different reason why you
9:16
Speaker 1: wanted to marry this person other than purely love and
9:20
Speaker 1: you want to be there for them. Do you think
9:21
Speaker 1: that your parents' opinion on, you know, not being able
9:24
Speaker 1: to sleep over or whatever, is influencing you to get
9:27
Speaker 1: married so early. Do you think it would be bad
9:30
Speaker 1: to wait? Do you think there's an advantage of getting married?
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Speaker 1: So so you ask all these questions and then she
9:35
Speaker 1: starts to kind of think about it. But ultimately, what
9:39
Speaker 1: I in a nutshell my answer to you is if
9:42
Speaker 1: you think that she's genuinely happy, I wouldn't burst her bubble.
9:44
Speaker 1: It's not our job. It's not a job to burst
9:46
Speaker 1: her bubble. And then she will resent you. If she's
9:48
Speaker 1: really happy, she'll resent you. On the other hand, if
9:52
Speaker 1: you are giving her an out to vent and talk
9:54
Speaker 1: about a fee where she thinks that she's you know,
9:57
Speaker 1: jumped the gun and she's you know, diving into something
10:00
Speaker 1: too fast and it was a mistake, then you might
10:03
Speaker 1: be a relief for her. So it's really up to
10:04
Speaker 1: you to read the room and see where you think
10:06
Speaker 1: she's at if you're going to approach this or not.
10:08
Speaker 1: And you know what, if she's really happy, it's fine.
10:11
Speaker 1: It's fine. You know, our friends make I've been to
10:14
Speaker 1: weddings where I'm like, I hate the partner. I hate
10:16
Speaker 1: the partner, but I love my friend and they're happy,
10:19
Speaker 1: and you know what if it breaks down and dissolves
10:21
Speaker 1: and whatever, I'll be there for them because that's what
10:24
Speaker 1: friends do. Okay. But yeah, it's frustrating. I get it.
10:27
Speaker 1: It's frustrating. And yeah, but thank you for coming to
10:30
Speaker 1: the Adelaide show. That was a great good times in Adelaide.
10:33
Speaker 1: So hopefully I'll see you at the next adelaid show.
10:36
Speaker 1: Next question, Hi, Alexis. I really love your podcast. It's
10:41
Speaker 1: equipped me with the tools to deal with a lot
10:42
Speaker 1: of hurdles throughout my life and I couldn't be more
10:44
Speaker 1: grateful for your podcast and advice. Thank you. My question
10:48
Speaker 1: is how do I come to terms with my ex
10:50
Speaker 1: falling out of love with me? When my ex and
10:54
Speaker 1: I met, we always both said we just knew we
10:57
Speaker 1: were each other's person. It honestly felt like I had
11:00
Speaker 1: finally met the man I'd been waiting for, and he
11:02
Speaker 1: always said that he felt the same about me. We
11:06
Speaker 1: started living together, planning holidays together, picturing our future together.
11:09
Speaker 1: But after a beautiful year of us dating. Twenty twenty
11:12
Speaker 1: five came around and I started facing a lot of
11:14
Speaker 1: setbacks in my personal life. I lost two close family members.
11:17
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry about that, got made redundant from my job,
11:21
Speaker 1: broke my arm, and have been struggling with my mental
11:24
Speaker 1: health as a result all year. On top of all
11:26
Speaker 1: of this, his father than almost passed away from a
11:28
Speaker 1: heart attack. This took a big toll on my ex.
11:31
Speaker 1: We were both in a very miserable place. Fast forward
11:34
Speaker 1: a couple of months after the heart attack, and he
11:36
Speaker 1: told me that he feels there is a disconnect between us,
11:39
Speaker 1: and that he feels less attracted to me, our futures
11:41
Speaker 1: don't align as well as he wanted anymore, and that
11:44
Speaker 1: he is not in love with me anymore. I'm honestly devastated.
11:48
Speaker 1: Everyone around us is too. I am still so in love.
11:51
Speaker 1: This just came completely out of the blue for me.
11:53
Speaker 1: I'm really struggling what will help me process that he
11:56
Speaker 1: is no longer in love with me anymore. Thank you. Firstly,
12:01
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that you're going through that. That on
12:03
Speaker 1: top of the really really hard year that you had,
12:05
Speaker 1: there's the heartbreak on top. Because that just adds a
12:09
Speaker 1: whole nother layer of pain that I know. I've been
12:14
Speaker 1: through something very similar to you, and it's awful, awful,
12:20
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm really sorry you're going through that now.
12:23
Speaker 1: I guess the first thing that you have to understand
12:25
Speaker 1: is sometimes relationships are really, really great until you're met
12:30
Speaker 1: with adversity, whether it be a partner seeing you go
12:34
Speaker 1: through a lot of hard things and they struggle to
12:36
Speaker 1: meet you where you need to be met, or they
12:38
Speaker 1: themselves go through massive personal struggles and it changes their
12:41
Speaker 1: perspective on life, and it changes how they feel within
12:44
Speaker 1: their relationship, and a lot of it, which is kind
12:47
Speaker 1: of annoying in a way, is not personal. Sometimes you
12:51
Speaker 1: rather it be personal, because then you can be like,
12:52
Speaker 1: all right, I can pinpoint exactly what I did wrong
12:55
Speaker 1: or exactly what made you fall out of love with me,
12:57
Speaker 1: or I can pinpoint exactly why you xyz, and it
13:01
Speaker 1: makes it a little bit easier to deal with. But
13:03
Speaker 1: sometimes when people go through really hard things, they have
13:06
Speaker 1: this like a pivot of how they perceive life where
13:10
Speaker 1: they're headed. You know, this kind of something changes in them,
13:13
Speaker 1: and a lot of the time that includes their relationship
13:17
Speaker 1: and how they feel about you. I guess what I
13:20
Speaker 1: really like about what you've said is that you're not
13:22
Speaker 1: trying to change his mind. You're seem to be really
13:24
Speaker 1: mature about how this is going on, and as devastated
13:26
Speaker 1: as you are, you're saying, what's going to help me process? That?
13:29
Speaker 1: Is not enough of me? You're not trying to say,
13:31
Speaker 1: how can I get him back? How can I So
13:33
Speaker 1: I really admire that in you, and I think you
13:35
Speaker 1: should acknowledge that that's already a huge step for you
13:38
Speaker 1: to take to already be coming to terms with the
13:41
Speaker 1: fact that this is done. How do I process it?
13:44
Speaker 1: So that's really, honestly, you've already started processing it, even
13:47
Speaker 1: though it doesn't feel that way. I guess one thing
13:50
Speaker 1: that really has helped me personally in the past process
13:54
Speaker 1: things is I look at relationships that I really wish
14:03
Speaker 1: I would want to have. This is in the past,
14:04
Speaker 1: when I was heartbroken, I would look at couples that
14:07
Speaker 1: I admire, and I'd ask, why do I admire this
14:10
Speaker 1: relationship like my grandparents or you know, relationships within my
14:13
Speaker 1: family or close friends of mine that I and I
14:16
Speaker 1: would say, what it's because they have so much fun together,
14:20
Speaker 1: but they're also there for each other in the hard times.
14:23
Speaker 1: One person will pick up the slack when the other
14:25
Speaker 1: person simply can't, and vice versa. They don't go tip
14:28
Speaker 1: for tat. It's just I'm there when I can be
14:31
Speaker 1: there for you, and sometimes when I need you, I
14:34
Speaker 1: know you're going to be there for me. They have
14:36
Speaker 1: adventures together, they laugh together, even after decades of being together.
14:40
Speaker 1: So I really thought, Okay, these are all the things
14:43
Speaker 1: that I really the trust that they have, you know,
14:46
Speaker 1: how they admire each other, how they build each other up.
14:49
Speaker 1: So I had a list of everything that I thought
14:52
Speaker 1: would be the perfect relationship and why do I love
14:55
Speaker 1: these relationship so much? It's because of that. And then
14:57
Speaker 1: I asked myself, was the relationship that I had that
15:00
Speaker 1: I'm grieving so heavily did it add up to? That
15:03
Speaker 1: didn't match that? And as much as I wanted it to,
15:07
Speaker 1: it didn't. In the sense that if someone is not
15:10
Speaker 1: in love with you as much as you adore them,
15:12
Speaker 1: they're not your person. They are not your soulmate. As
15:18
Speaker 1: hard as that is to admit. The quicker you can
15:21
Speaker 1: be like, if this person couldn't be there for me,
15:23
Speaker 1: it's not a stab at them, And it's also not
15:25
Speaker 1: a flaw in their character, because sometimes we can't show
15:28
Speaker 1: up for people depending on where we are in our lives.
15:30
Speaker 1: It's not a flawed thing. But what I'm saying is
15:32
Speaker 1: if this person couldn't be the partner that I wanted
15:35
Speaker 1: them to be or that I needed them to be,
15:37
Speaker 1: or if they couldn't if they could fall out of
15:39
Speaker 1: love with me, then they weren't for me. But what
15:44
Speaker 1: they did do is they served as an example of
15:48
Speaker 1: what is available out there for me as far as
15:52
Speaker 1: how much I can love someone. Now I know the
15:54
Speaker 1: exact feeling of what it feels like to have that
15:58
Speaker 1: kind of love, and I know that I'm feeling that,
16:00
Speaker 1: and I know that once this acute pain passes, that
16:04
Speaker 1: that's the kind of love, that style of love, this
16:07
Speaker 1: calm love, this beautiful love that I will seek out. Okay,
16:11
Speaker 1: because you know you well, many people go through all
16:15
Speaker 1: kinds of relationships and after they end, you're able to
16:18
Speaker 1: reflect back being like, do I want that kind of
16:20
Speaker 1: love again? Or do I not? Those real rollercoaster anxiety
16:23
Speaker 1: provoking relationships, You're probably going to be like, thanks, but
16:26
Speaker 1: no thanks. Yes, the butterflies were intense, but that was
16:29
Speaker 1: way too much in my adrenals, no, thank you. So
16:32
Speaker 1: you could really look at that and say, what can
16:34
Speaker 1: I learn from this? What can I take from this?
16:35
Speaker 1: And what can I be grateful from this? But also
16:40
Speaker 1: what can I admit actually wasn't going right? What can
16:43
Speaker 1: I admit would never have worked out? If you can't
16:46
Speaker 1: be the couple that can be there for each other
16:49
Speaker 1: in your hardest moments, it's not that you're a bad
16:51
Speaker 1: person or that they're a bad person. It's probably that
16:53
Speaker 1: you're not really as compatible as you thought you were, okay,
16:57
Speaker 1: And that is a good thing because it starts giving
17:01
Speaker 1: you a way to cope. It starts making you realize,
17:05
Speaker 1: no matter how amazing this person was, they served a
17:08
Speaker 1: purpose in my life for the duration that they were
17:10
Speaker 1: in my life, but now they don't serve me anymore.
17:13
Speaker 1: That relationship wouldn't actually serve me anymore if we were
17:16
Speaker 1: still together. So it's these things that for me really
17:20
Speaker 1: helped process like help me process the ending of a relationship. Also,
17:26
Speaker 1: you don't seem to be searching for closure or clarity
17:29
Speaker 1: or something like that, but even if you are, you
17:31
Speaker 1: have to remind yourself that you are the only person
17:34
Speaker 1: that can provide closure for yourself. You can't seek that
17:36
Speaker 1: in anyone else. It is just you saying I am
17:40
Speaker 1: actively going to close this chapter and I'm going to
17:43
Speaker 1: not try and dig deeper and not trying to question
17:45
Speaker 1: the ins and outs of why and why not. It's
17:48
Speaker 1: I can't ever put myself in someone else's shoes. And
17:51
Speaker 1: they experienced something in a way that made them fall
17:53
Speaker 1: out of love with me, which is fine, painful but fine,
17:57
Speaker 1: But that's not the kind of relationship that I want
17:59
Speaker 1: to be in. And thank you, but no, thank you,
18:03
Speaker 1: and you can start to kind of heal in that way.
18:05
Speaker 1: But I am actually really proud of you for how
18:07
Speaker 1: you are processing this, because you're already so mature, and
18:10
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry for what you're going through, but I'm
18:12
Speaker 1: telling you you will grow beyond your imagination. My year,
18:18
Speaker 1: like yours, my twenty fifteen, where three of my grandparents
18:22
Speaker 1: passed away, my dog died, my agent dropped me. I
18:25
Speaker 1: had the biggest heartbreak of my life. And everything happened
18:29
Speaker 1: in a twelve month period, and it was fucking awful.
18:33
Speaker 1: But if that hadn't happened, none of what I'd be
18:36
Speaker 1: living now would be a reality. All Like most of
18:39
Speaker 1: my growth like massive growth in my twenties was because
18:43
Speaker 1: of that. So as difficult as it is, right now,
18:46
Speaker 1: you're on the cusp of this huge growth, and I'm actually,
18:50
Speaker 1: I'm actually very excited for you, okay, because everything could
18:53
Speaker 1: change in a good way relationship wise, what you choose
18:55
Speaker 1: to do with your life. Do you ever want to
18:57
Speaker 1: live in the same city anymore? Do you even want
18:59
Speaker 1: to have that care even though you're made redundant, Maybe
19:01
Speaker 1: this is the time to pivot, Like everything is the
19:03
Speaker 1: world is actually your oyster right now, because when all
19:07
Speaker 1: these doors close at the same time, it actually gives
19:10
Speaker 1: you the ability to refresh your life. Like that doesn't
19:15
Speaker 1: feel like it, but I can tell you right now
19:16
Speaker 1: you're gonna have a moment in the next couple of
19:18
Speaker 1: months where you're like, I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done,
19:21
Speaker 1: and I've got all this shit that I can do
19:22
Speaker 1: and I have the ability to do it now. Okay,
19:25
Speaker 1: So it doesn't sound like it, but there's a lot
19:28
Speaker 1: of exciting things on the horizon for you. Thank you.
19:32
Speaker 1: Next question, the title is at a Crossroads and craving clarity.
19:38
Speaker 1: Love this, Hi, Alexis. Thank you so much for your
19:41
Speaker 1: podcast and all you do in inspiring and educating us
19:43
Speaker 1: as your listeners. I look forward to each and every episode,
19:46
Speaker 1: and I'm constantly recommending you to friends and family. Thank you.
19:49
Speaker 1: I'm at a really poignant point in my life, and
19:52
Speaker 1: I've been here for the past four months. I spent
19:54
Speaker 1: three months in Korea, if you can even call it living,
19:57
Speaker 1: and came back in June, and since then I feel
20:01
Speaker 1: a little adrift. So many possibilities, so many directions, and
20:04
Speaker 1: yet somehow none of them feel like the right one.
20:08
Speaker 1: I could dive deep into my career and push forward,
20:10
Speaker 1: keep traveling and exploring, or open myself up to love
20:13
Speaker 1: and try to settle down. The last thing I want
20:16
Speaker 1: is to be paralyzed by indecision, but lately that's how
20:18
Speaker 1: I feel. I do understand that big decisions require sacrifices,
20:23
Speaker 1: but the clarity I hope for never arrives naturally. It's
20:26
Speaker 1: never obvious, simple, or easy to trust. My mind feels
20:29
Speaker 1: noisy and scattered, full of all the what ifs and
20:33
Speaker 1: should eyes that come with major life shifts. How do
20:35
Speaker 1: you tune out the chaos in your head? And how
20:37
Speaker 1: do you know which thoughts to trust versus let go?
20:41
Speaker 1: So looking forward to hearing from you, and thank you
20:44
Speaker 1: for taking the time to read this from a brain
20:46
Speaker 1: and a blender to you. Oh fuck, this is such
20:51
Speaker 1: a good question, And I feel like, do you know
20:53
Speaker 1: how many people would be relating to you so heavily
20:56
Speaker 1: with where you are right now? And it's a good
20:59
Speaker 1: position be in, Like you said, like, there's so many
21:02
Speaker 1: there's a lot of opportunities, there's a lot of potential,
21:04
Speaker 1: but you also don't want to be sitting in potential
21:06
Speaker 1: and not realizing anything. One thing that I would do
21:11
Speaker 1: is when it comes to love, because you said here,
21:16
Speaker 1: dive deep into your career. You could be traveling or
21:19
Speaker 1: open yourself up to love and try and settle down
21:21
Speaker 1: the loved one unless there's actually something to explore with
21:25
Speaker 1: someone right now. That's one that I would just let
21:28
Speaker 1: manifest when it manifests, you know, when you meet the
21:30
Speaker 1: right person and whatever. But it's something that I found
21:34
Speaker 1: personally for me. When I didn't go searching for it,
21:37
Speaker 1: I could focus on other things in my life, and
21:38
Speaker 1: then ironically, when I was heavily focusing on other things,
21:41
Speaker 1: it's like it made my love life so much easier
21:45
Speaker 1: in a way because I was just so content that
21:48
Speaker 1: there was no kind of searching and hunting. It was
21:50
Speaker 1: more deciding Yep, that's right for me. No, that's not
21:53
Speaker 1: right for me. So the loved one I would actually
21:57
Speaker 1: let manifest as it does. I guess you want to
22:00
Speaker 1: look at is do you dive deep into your career
22:03
Speaker 1: and push forward or do you keep exploring? Firstly, ask
22:07
Speaker 1: yourself what is the career? And how passionate am I
22:13
Speaker 1: about this career? Is this career something that needs to
22:16
Speaker 1: be actioned now because it's time sensitive? And really the
22:19
Speaker 1: longer I push it out, the more I'm at a disadvantage.
22:22
Speaker 1: Is it a kind of career that I could visit
22:24
Speaker 1: later on in life? And there could be things that
22:26
Speaker 1: I'm doing that I could be doing right now that
22:28
Speaker 1: are time sensitive. So that's something really important. For example,
22:30
Speaker 1: what I mean by time sensitive is traveling alone. There's
22:33
Speaker 1: only so you know, whether where you've got no dependence
22:37
Speaker 1: or mortgage or whatever, like freely traveling alone. It's kind
22:40
Speaker 1: of time sensitive, right even for me, I love traveling alone.
22:44
Speaker 1: I've now got fucking two children, can you believe? So
22:48
Speaker 1: that concept of traveling alone it's not gonna happen for
22:50
Speaker 1: you know, the significant time in my life unless I'm
22:53
Speaker 1: doing like a business trip. So ask yourself these questions.
22:57
Speaker 1: What's time sensitive? What's not time sensitive? With a career,
23:01
Speaker 1: ask yourself, this might be a good career and I
23:03
Speaker 1: might like it, whatever, But how passionate am I about this?
23:07
Speaker 1: How badly do I want this? If I'm not even
23:11
Speaker 1: that sure that I want to dive into it? So
23:13
Speaker 1: what I mean is, you know, when you really love
23:17
Speaker 1: your career and what you're doing, it's going to be
23:20
Speaker 1: something that you know you want action now, you're excited,
23:23
Speaker 1: you can't wait to get it started. You want And
23:25
Speaker 1: it's not saying that everyone has to feel that way
23:26
Speaker 1: about their career. Absolutely not. Some of the happiest people
23:28
Speaker 1: I know don't adore their career. They adore their lives,
23:31
Speaker 1: and their career or their job allows them to live
23:34
Speaker 1: a great life. So absolutely, you don't have to love
23:37
Speaker 1: your career. But if you're tossing up your career with
23:42
Speaker 1: should I explore more and you're not desperate to start
23:45
Speaker 1: your career, I would explore more because exploration is the
23:50
Speaker 1: key to knowing yourself. It's the key to knowing what
23:53
Speaker 1: you want and what you don't want. Later in your life.
23:56
Speaker 1: Whether it be in three years or in five years.
23:58
Speaker 1: It's the key to feelings satisfied. The fact that I
24:01
Speaker 1: had such an all over the place twenties exploring going here,
24:04
Speaker 1: going there. I was a gypsy. I had all my
24:06
Speaker 1: possessions into suitcases. Now makes me feel so ready to
24:11
Speaker 1: be in this stage of my life because I can
24:13
Speaker 1: look back and say, oh, I did so many things
24:16
Speaker 1: that really taught me so much about myself, and a
24:19
Speaker 1: lot of the experiences that I had I want to
24:21
Speaker 1: still experience again in my life. It's not saying, well,
24:24
Speaker 1: now I've just closed that chapter. Now I'm never going
24:26
Speaker 1: to travel again, and I'm never going to It's not that,
24:28
Speaker 1: but it's saying all of that helped me become really
24:31
Speaker 1: sure of myself. So if you're at the crossroads, I
24:34
Speaker 1: would say, how badly do I need to start this
24:37
Speaker 1: career right now? Is there the opportunity to explore a
24:40
Speaker 1: little bit longer? And if the answer is yes, then
24:44
Speaker 1: I would explore a bit longer. You also mentioned that
24:46
Speaker 1: you lived. Sorry, if you can call it living, you
24:50
Speaker 1: were three months in Korea, if you can call it living,
24:53
Speaker 1: So I feel like you didn't you didn't really relish
24:56
Speaker 1: that experience for whatever reason. So maybe this is something
24:59
Speaker 1: that you can and think. Okay, maybe I will continue
25:03
Speaker 1: to travel, but it's not going to be to Korea.
25:04
Speaker 1: Maybe I need to travel to other places. Maybe I
25:06
Speaker 1: need to do like a I don't know, pick a
25:10
Speaker 1: different continent or whatever. Or maybe I need to set
25:13
Speaker 1: myself up in a different city and just do like
25:15
Speaker 1: an exchange. I'll do a three month exchange to a
25:17
Speaker 1: different city in my home country and just experience what
25:21
Speaker 1: that's like. Okay, So ultimately, I know I haven't given
25:25
Speaker 1: you a very very clear answer. But if you're not
25:28
Speaker 1: dead set on your career and you still want to explore,
25:32
Speaker 1: I would put exploring first. Okay. If you're passionate and
25:36
Speaker 1: you're like, no, I can't wait to start this, then
25:38
Speaker 1: dive into your career now. There's no time like the
25:40
Speaker 1: present on something that you're passionate about. There is no
25:43
Speaker 1: time like the present on something you're passionate about. Don't
25:45
Speaker 1: delay something that you're passionate about. Don't delay something that
25:48
Speaker 1: you are excited about. And if you're not yet excited
25:51
Speaker 1: about your career and you don't really want to be
25:53
Speaker 1: exploring and you don't really want to be traveling, then
25:56
Speaker 1: start the career with an open mind and start thinking
25:59
Speaker 1: where could this lead me? Okay, for those people that
26:01
Speaker 1: are listening, playing at home, being like, well, I don't
26:03
Speaker 1: want to travel and I don't love my career. What
26:05
Speaker 1: do I do? I would begin but with an open
26:08
Speaker 1: mind of where can I pivot? Where can I pivot?
26:10
Speaker 1: Where can I pivot? And that's what I did personally
26:12
Speaker 1: throughout my twenties. So clarity comes from doing and doing
26:18
Speaker 1: and doing. While it seems like taking action on something
26:22
Speaker 1: that you're not one hundred percent shore on is going
26:24
Speaker 1: to waste your time, it will never waste your time
26:26
Speaker 1: sitting and questioning and asking and wondering. That's what's going
26:30
Speaker 1: to It's like a paralysis via analysis. That's where you
26:34
Speaker 1: really really get stuck. When you freeze, it encourages you
26:37
Speaker 1: to stay frozen. When you move, it encourages more movement. Okay,
26:42
Speaker 1: and you know things start flowing. You will never make
26:46
Speaker 1: the wrong decision because when you choose something, whether it
26:50
Speaker 1: be like all right, I've decided to stay and stay
26:52
Speaker 1: in this career, that choice will lead to more doors
26:56
Speaker 1: opening and to more awareness of what you want and
26:58
Speaker 1: what you don't want. Okay. So it's never a bad decision.
27:01
Speaker 1: You just have to commit to one thing and do it. Okay,
27:07
Speaker 1: And if you get a closed door, that's just pushing
27:10
Speaker 1: you closer to an open door that actually works for you.
27:12
Speaker 1: So hopefully that helped. I know I gave like a
27:14
Speaker 1: thousand different opinions here and there, but yeah, like I said,
27:19
Speaker 1: if for the people that are still thinking, do I explore?
27:22
Speaker 1: Do I travel? Do I? Yes? If you want to
27:24
Speaker 1: travel and you want to explore, the time is now okay?
27:30
Speaker 1: Since okay? Last question, Hi, alexis huge fan of everything
27:39
Speaker 1: that you do. I have a question, how do I
27:42
Speaker 1: detach from wanting a relationship whilst also wanting a relationship?
27:46
Speaker 1: I yearned deeply for that deep love and connection again
27:49
Speaker 1: and everything that comes with a relationship. I have been
27:53
Speaker 1: single for most of my twenties now thirty and would
27:56
Speaker 1: love to find that amazing deep love with someone again.
27:59
Speaker 1: I find it to connect with people. I feel like
28:01
Speaker 1: not many people see me for who I truly am
28:04
Speaker 1: at my core. I've been on dating apps since I
28:06
Speaker 1: was twenty. I've never met anyone of substance or longevity
28:10
Speaker 1: on there. I met my ex, who is truly the
28:12
Speaker 1: most amazing man. We just can't be together in person.
28:15
Speaker 1: And the guy I dated before that in person too,
28:17
Speaker 1: both American who I met over there while traveling. American
28:20
Speaker 1: men are much more forward. I'm guessing you're in Australia
28:23
Speaker 1: because yeah, Australian men are not really forward in general.
28:26
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah feels and I feel so jaded over
28:29
Speaker 1: dating and dating apps. It's hard to decide what to do.
28:32
Speaker 1: How do I detach from something I do ultimately want
28:35
Speaker 1: in life. This is a really hard thing to do
28:40
Speaker 1: because when you want something so badly and it's within
28:44
Speaker 1: your control, the obvious step is to do what it
28:48
Speaker 1: takes to get it right. Whether it's a career, whether
28:50
Speaker 1: it's you know, I want to run a marathon, there's
28:53
Speaker 1: steps that I can do and then I get what
28:55
Speaker 1: I want. I want to say for something, there's steps
28:57
Speaker 1: I can do to get the money to save everyone.
28:59
Speaker 1: I want to be an accountant, there's steps I confunctor.
29:03
Speaker 1: I want a relationship, Well, it's the most important decision
29:06
Speaker 1: of your life who you partner up with for life.
29:09
Speaker 1: And when something so important in your life is not
29:12
Speaker 1: within your control, it kind of makes you scramble and
29:16
Speaker 1: do more and try and gain more and more control.
29:20
Speaker 1: And you also don't want to sit with the thought.
29:23
Speaker 1: It's quite daunting to sit with the thought that you
29:28
Speaker 1: don't know when it's going to happen. You don't know
29:29
Speaker 1: if it's going to happen, you don't know how it's
29:31
Speaker 1: going to happen. All these things you can't control. The
29:33
Speaker 1: only thing you can control when it comes to a
29:35
Speaker 1: relationship is how you vet people, how much work you
29:39
Speaker 1: do on yourself, and maybe how you increase the chances
29:44
Speaker 1: of putting yourself out there and meeting people. Right, That's
29:47
Speaker 1: kind of all you can control. And then apart from that,
29:50
Speaker 1: you've got to think what is the language, Like what
29:53
Speaker 1: am I saying to myself in the interim around like
29:56
Speaker 1: between me wanting to meet someone and not meeting someone
29:59
Speaker 1: Because a lot of people then think do I need
30:00
Speaker 1: to put my life on hold until I find someone?
30:02
Speaker 1: I also don't want to be so unavailable that when
30:05
Speaker 1: the right person enters my life, I've created a situation
30:09
Speaker 1: for myself where I'm not in a position to be
30:11
Speaker 1: able to date. Like let's say I thought, well, it's
30:14
Speaker 1: not happening, I'm booking a trip overseas, and then I
30:16
Speaker 1: meet the person of my dreams one month before that
30:20
Speaker 1: trip that I book overseas or that year abroad, and
30:22
Speaker 1: then I'm thinking, well, shit, now I've got this difficult.
30:25
Speaker 1: So then we put our life on hold. We don't
30:27
Speaker 1: book that trip overseas, we don't embark on all these
30:29
Speaker 1: personal journeys because we're thinking, what if that person is
30:32
Speaker 1: actually just around the corner. Okay. What I'm trying to
30:36
Speaker 1: say is these desires for a relationship can end up
30:40
Speaker 1: being a massive cock block in our lives, and we
30:42
Speaker 1: don't mean to do it, but it does. And I
30:46
Speaker 1: guess the first thing that you have to say to yourself,
30:49
Speaker 1: and it sounds pessimistic, but it's not the first thing
30:52
Speaker 1: you have to say to yourself is what would my
30:55
Speaker 1: life look like, genuinely if I didn't meet my person
31:00
Speaker 1: for another three years? Okay, hypothetically you pick the time,
31:04
Speaker 1: but let's say three years. You could be more catastrophic
31:06
Speaker 1: and say ten years or whatever. But what would my
31:08
Speaker 1: life look like if I did not meet this person
31:11
Speaker 1: for another three years? Could I be happy with my
31:14
Speaker 1: current life? If the answer is no, then you need
31:17
Speaker 1: to really change things up about your life because you're not.
31:23
Speaker 1: And I hate it when people say, oh, when you
31:25
Speaker 1: stop trying, it happens when it comes to fertility, or
31:27
Speaker 1: when it comes to relationships or whatever. It's not about
31:30
Speaker 1: not trying, but it's saying, if I can be happy
31:35
Speaker 1: for the next three years, then it means that my
31:38
Speaker 1: life is how I want it to be, and it
31:40
Speaker 1: means that I have a significant level of life satisfaction.
31:42
Speaker 1: And when you become happier with your life, it becomes
31:47
Speaker 1: easier to open yourself up or to find the better
31:52
Speaker 1: matches for yourself. It's not that it just happens because
31:54
Speaker 1: you stop trying, but it's the person that you become,
31:57
Speaker 1: the person that you put yourself out there. You start
31:59
Speaker 1: to attract the right people for you. Okay, you become
32:03
Speaker 1: more magnetic to the people that you want to align with.
32:07
Speaker 1: When you are in a headspace of I want to
32:10
Speaker 1: find a partner and that's what I need in my life,
32:12
Speaker 1: and that is the missing piece, and that's what Then
32:15
Speaker 1: we become anxious. We might become a little bit well,
32:17
Speaker 1: at least we have depressive thoughts. If not depressed, we
32:21
Speaker 1: become unsatisfied with our lives. And then we think, oh
32:25
Speaker 1: my god, if it was another three years before I
32:27
Speaker 1: met this person, I would not be happy with my life.
32:30
Speaker 1: Then that's a serious wake up call. It means that
32:32
Speaker 1: you're actually not satisfied with your life, and that's where
32:36
Speaker 1: the focus needs to be. So I think it's perfectly
32:42
Speaker 1: healthy to say I am open to a healthy, happy,
32:48
Speaker 1: fulfilling relationship. However, I can't control when that happens, so
32:52
Speaker 1: I'm not going to if I can't control it, I'm
32:56
Speaker 1: not going to let it control me. So if I
32:59
Speaker 1: can't can when I get into a relationship with the
33:01
Speaker 1: right person, I'm not going to let the desire control
33:05
Speaker 1: my life and my thoughts and my happiness. So I
33:08
Speaker 1: can still have the desire force a healthy relationship. But
33:15
Speaker 1: instead of holding back and waiting and feeling like my
33:18
Speaker 1: life is on hold, I'm going to remind myself of
33:21
Speaker 1: good examples of love. I'm going to be like I
33:23
Speaker 1: love that and and talk about why you love it
33:26
Speaker 1: so much. I love that couple because look how supportive
33:28
Speaker 1: they are of each other. I love these people because
33:31
Speaker 1: look at that. I love relationships where you can trust
33:33
Speaker 1: the other person. I love relationships where you know whatever,
33:37
Speaker 1: Like you start talking about what you love in other
33:39
Speaker 1: relationships and you're just in this state of acknowledgment and
33:42
Speaker 1: appreciation and how that would be nice too when it's
33:46
Speaker 1: my time, that will be really nice. That's what I want.
33:48
Speaker 1: So you start getting a really clear picture of exactly
33:51
Speaker 1: what you want instead of thinking, I've got to be
33:53
Speaker 1: in a relationship, relationship, relationship. You know, I want to
33:55
Speaker 1: be happy in a relationship, and I can't do the
33:57
Speaker 1: dating apps and I can't. Another thing is don't do
34:00
Speaker 1: something that's going to stress you out. You know, if
34:02
Speaker 1: dating apps aren't your thing and they don't work for you,
34:04
Speaker 1: don't get on them because it's going to make you
34:06
Speaker 1: approach dating with a lot of animosity. Okay, if dating
34:09
Speaker 1: apps are your thing and you've had a lot of
34:11
Speaker 1: success on dating apps, one hundred percent, go for it,
34:13
Speaker 1: like go nuts, honestly, good times. You know. Actually some
34:15
Speaker 1: of my closest friends and couples have met on dating apps.
34:20
Speaker 1: But I'm not telling you to do that. Okay, I'm rambling,
34:23
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is you have to remind yourself
34:27
Speaker 1: that you don't have control over this thing. And when
34:30
Speaker 1: you don't have control over something ultimate control, you have
34:34
Speaker 1: to find a way to create your life satisfaction without
34:37
Speaker 1: letting it control you. If you let things control you
34:40
Speaker 1: that you don't have control over, you are a hostage basically,
34:44
Speaker 1: and you stop really living for you. And I can
34:48
Speaker 1: tell you one thing for sure that as fulfilling as
34:51
Speaker 1: relationships are, they are not the be all, end all
34:54
Speaker 1: for your overall happiness. You still have to work on
34:57
Speaker 1: your overall happiness. And the more you work on your
34:59
Speaker 1: overall happy for yourself, the more you're going to find
35:04
Speaker 1: that you're more open without this like desperation, but you're
35:08
Speaker 1: more open to what the future could hold with relationships,
35:12
Speaker 1: whether you whether it's a longer time, whether it means
35:15
Speaker 1: being single for a bit, whether you know, whatever it is.
35:18
Speaker 1: You become more open to different people that maybe you
35:20
Speaker 1: never thought you would be interested in dating. And then
35:22
Speaker 1: you're like, wow, I've gotten way more of an open mind,
35:24
Speaker 1: and now I'm actually entertaining this conversation and I'm realizing
35:28
Speaker 1: amazing things about this particular person or whatever. So yeah,
35:32
Speaker 1: in a nutshell, it all comes down to your relationship
35:35
Speaker 1: with yourself, as frustrating as that is. And really try
35:38
Speaker 1: and think, you know, if I only had one year
35:41
Speaker 1: left on this earth and I wasn't going to be
35:43
Speaker 1: in a relationship in that time. Would I be able
35:45
Speaker 1: to look back at the end of that year being like,
35:47
Speaker 1: I really made the most of that year. I really
35:49
Speaker 1: enjoyed my life. I really lived for me. Okay, so
35:52
Speaker 1: this is your time to live for you. Another thing
35:54
Speaker 1: that I say to my single friends is you might
35:58
Speaker 1: find the person that you're going to spend the rest
36:02
Speaker 1: of your life with in a week, okay, in six months,
36:07
Speaker 1: and I'm talking that's it. You meet that person and
36:10
Speaker 1: never again, never again, you'll be single because that might
36:14
Speaker 1: be the person who spent the rest of your life
36:16
Speaker 1: with the love of your life. It's amazing. Will you
36:18
Speaker 1: have any moments thinking like, oh I miss my single life.
36:23
Speaker 1: If the answer is yes, then great, because you've got
36:26
Speaker 1: a good single life. Milk it, okay, really milk it
36:29
Speaker 1: because that person could be right around the corner and
36:30
Speaker 1: you don't want to take it for granted. If the
36:32
Speaker 1: answer is no, how can I turn it around so
36:34
Speaker 1: I can look back and say, I actually enjoyed my
36:36
Speaker 1: single life when I was single. Now I found my
36:38
Speaker 1: person for life. But you know, when I was single,
36:40
Speaker 1: I did all these things that was just for me
36:42
Speaker 1: and I'm not talking about sleeping around if that's not
36:44
Speaker 1: on brand for you, if that's not your thing, or dating.
36:46
Speaker 1: It wasn't for me. You know, I didn't really date.
36:49
Speaker 1: I didn't really say. But what I loved about my
36:51
Speaker 1: single life was the crazy independence living alone and being single.
36:55
Speaker 1: I love that I could be somewhere and you know,
36:58
Speaker 1: had nobody to answer to and could make decisions that
37:01
Speaker 1: only concerned me, that I didn't have to check with anyone,
37:04
Speaker 1: and it was a really cool time. And when I
37:07
Speaker 1: came to that realization, I thought, oh my god, I
37:09
Speaker 1: might meet the love of my life, like in a
37:11
Speaker 1: couple of days. Am I doing? You know, am I
37:13
Speaker 1: really milking this? So tell yourself this. You know this
37:16
Speaker 1: is limited time off you being single, so milk it. Anyway.
37:20
Speaker 1: That is the end of the episode. As you know,
37:23
Speaker 1: I love to talk, so here we are again be talking.
37:25
Speaker 1: If you guys want to send in your questions, please
37:27
Speaker 1: email info at dyfmpod dot com. Love getting your fucking
37:33
Speaker 1: questions said the best, or send a voice note. You
37:36
Speaker 1: can go on to www dot dwifmpod dot com and
37:39
Speaker 1: there's a little section where you can submit a voicemail.
37:43
Speaker 1: A ninety second voicemail and it will get played out
37:46
Speaker 1: on the episode and I answer your question there. Both
37:48
Speaker 1: of them I love so much, and we tried to
37:49
Speaker 1: juggle the two different versions. Guys, Thank you so much,
37:53
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the podcast episode. Please rate
37:58
Speaker 1: and review. Rating and reviewing obviously five stars thing, but yeah,
38:03
Speaker 1: if you rate and review, it helps my podcast in
38:06
Speaker 1: the charts, it helps the visibility, it helps for more
38:08
Speaker 1: people to join the community, and yeah, it just helps
38:12
Speaker 1: the podcast. So I love that so much. As always,
38:15
Speaker 1: remember becan't yourself, be can't to your brain, don't take
38:17
Speaker 1: shit from anyone, and especially don't take shit from yourself.
38:20
Speaker 1: Don't go