Latest / Carmedy / Episode 8.5 - Burnt Pizza & Good Fortune

Transcript

Episode 8.5 - Burnt Pizza & Good Fortune · Carmedy

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: What's up everyone?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Carmody Podcast where Comedy Meets Yours slash my commute.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Dave Thompson.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: I missed you.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I missed you guys.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: You guys were like, he's not coming back.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: He's not coming back.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: There's no way he's coming back.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I checked out my podcast subscription and it was dead.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: It was dead and I was broke.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was freaking broke.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I had no chance of doing the podcast because I was freaking broke.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I was sad because I was freaking broke.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I saw that you guys listened to the podcast last week.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: That there was still 88, 88 views or 88 listens last week, and I was like, Frank, they missed me.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: They miss me.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta get back.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta get back online quick.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Hi.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Hi.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you exactly what's going on right now.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, welcome to episode 8.5.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So you know that means this is a 15-minute episode.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Second of all, I'm a little stressed out.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Currently, I'm driving right now.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be working some more tonight.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: If you guys hear me slurping a little bit, I apologize.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm drinking a cherry sprite.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, I'm drinking a cherry sprite.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of those days I needed a cherry sprite.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: So let me tell you what's going on right now.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: I have been working all day.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't eat lunch today.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've been working all day because the the DoorDash orders have been super good.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: They've been really good.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been sticking around around town.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all know I live in Yukaipa.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: I've been sticking around town the whole time.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's great when I get to do that because I get to work close to home.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't use a lot of gas, and it's wonderful, right?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And and the last like five no, let's be realistic, let's be honest here.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let's not do a bit.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: The last three orders I did before dinner were all pizza pickups and deliveries, okay?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: So me picking up pizzas, little two from Little Caesars and one from Papa John's, okay?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: So for the last like hour plus, maybe 90 minutes before I took a break, I was smelling pizza.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, I want freaking pizza.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so I went to the store, I picked up a pizza for my kids, and I picked up a pizza for me because I'm craving Hawaiian pizza, and the kids are just not sick with it.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're not gonna have Hawaiian pizza.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: They want a thin crest pepperoni.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I want a thick crest Hawaiian.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's pineapple and Canadian bacons for you sickos out there.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Alright?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I pick up the pizzas.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Alright?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I get home.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: My wife already has the oven preheated.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: The pizzas go in.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually the timers go off for the pizza.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm flipping around.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: The thin crest is about to come out, the thick crest, I'm flipping it around, right?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I just can't get a good grip under it with the spatula.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: You guys know what I'm talking about?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now, granted, I used to work at Blaze Pizza.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I've had an actual pizza spatula that's metal that I can flip pizzas around with and slip and slide pizzas in an actual oven.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm cracked with it.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I keep saying with it?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, with it.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Alright?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I keep inching and inching with the spatula, and the pizza's going further and further into the oven, and I do one slick, like whoosh move to get under it, to commit to it, and the pizza goes all the way over the back.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: It goes all the way over the back.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: All the way over the freaking back.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it flips upside down.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just burning and smoking and firing and freaking frick.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, turn your volume down for one second.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, go ahead and turn it back up.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: You guys, it has been stressful.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: It has been stressful.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I immediately, I immediately got very sad, and then my wife laughed at me.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: My wife laughed at me, so I mocked her for laughing at me, and then she got mad at me.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Praise God.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, you guys.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what happened.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: I left.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: I just left the mess.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: I left it.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: I just left the mess and I just dipped.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: I just needed a I just needed to breathe.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: I dipped, I went to Papa John's and I ordered myself a Hawaiian pizza.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it was medium, so chill out.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's just one of the 10-inch pizzas.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Same s same size as a personal size pizza you'd get from Blaze.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Relax.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I ordered a medium pizza and I just ate the whole thing.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and that's just that's what happened.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's just the honest truth.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, sometimes you just gotta get the honest truth out.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, you know, the Bible says the truth will set you free.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the truth is setting me free today, ladies and gentlemen.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I screwed up.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: I did multiple things wrong.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, I had too much confidence in myself trying to flip that freaking pizza, spin it around uh with a spatula that's not, it's not, it was a wood spatula, it wasn't, it wasn't what I needed.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: You guys ever use a tool that you don't need?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was I was using a tool that wasn't for the job, and I goofed, I screwed up.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got mad at my wife.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I mocked her.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't like that.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: So that was the second time I screwed up.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then the third time I screwed up was that I didn't clean it before I left.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I just left.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, frick it, I'm leaving, and I just left.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: And now my kids are probably gonna think, like, wow, dad sucks.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Dad doesn't know how to make pizzas well, dad got mad at mom, and then dad left and made a mess.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's probably what my kids think right now.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: But that's just the honest truth.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's just the honest truth.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, what a day.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so so therefore, I went to the gas station and I got an extra large polar pop.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Cherry Sprite.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: What are you judging me?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: You freaking judging me right now?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is just a bad day.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: But I needed to get the pod up, okay?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a it's just a rough day, but I needed to get the pod up, okay?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: The pod needed to go up.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: The pod needed to go up.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: 8.5, ladies and gentlemen.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all weren't gonna wait all day.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, updates, comedy updates.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about comedy.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Not just talk about me and my problems.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um goodness.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh just announced today.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be at the ice house October 10th.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: I believe.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: October 10th, so 10-10.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be at the ice house with Davy the Don.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna sell that baby out.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: He sold it out last time.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna sell it out again.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I hope we sell it out so early that they move us to the main room.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: I saw they haven't booked a main room show yet for that date.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: So let's freaking sell it the frick out so we can get it up to the main room.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out Davy the Don for having me on the show.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Super excited to pull up, perform at the ice house.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I also just got an opportunity to perform at the Ontario Improv.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you guys, you guys, let me tell you what happened.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let me tell you exactly what happened.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I did the above the iron mic on Wednesday, right?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: On Wednesday, I did the above the iron mic.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I had this planned out, low-key.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be honest with you, I had this planned out.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: I went to the above the iron mic, I asked to go up early, they put me up first.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I broke the ice, which is good for the other comics, and I had a fun time.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: I got a couple of lines out of that mic, it was a six, it was a success.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, immediately afterward, I drove to a show of a producer that I had never met before.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: I had never met him before, and I drove over there and I knew one person that was on his show that he was having.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: I I went up to that person and I was like, yo, what's up?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, yo, I didn't know you're gonna be here.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Yeah, I'm just coming just to hang out.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was in the neighborhood, wanted to come say hi.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: So he introduced me to the headliner, and then the he also introduced me to the producer, and he's like, hey, this guy's an up-and-coming comic.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And the guy's like, Yeah, what's good?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how long you've been doing comedy?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I says pretty like about to be two years.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's my you know, two year anniversary is in a month.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, Cool.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, You want to do a set?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, uh freak yeah, I want to do a set.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Ladies and gentlemen, I pulled up to a show that I wasn't booked on.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I go in there and I get asked to do a set.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, why don't more people do this?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, sorry.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so he brings me up first after he's done with his set.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: The host brings me up first, and I have a I have a I have a decent set.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the best set I've ever had, but it's pretty good.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I would give it like a six or seven out of ten.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like I definitely could have done better, but it definitely was not bad by any means.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I showed a lot of stage presence, I showed a lot of jokes.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: It was supposed to be like a dirty show, and I don't have like crazy dirty material for real, but like I definitely like laid out some of the stuff that I think is very funny.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Some of it just so happens to be a little bit dirty or crude, whatever.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: So he liked my stuff, so I came off, he liked my stuff, and he's like, dude, I'd love to have you back out and book you on my shows.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, frick yeah, dude, thank you so much.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: So boom, got a booking.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Second person, the headliner, he runs the show at the Ontario Improv.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, and he's like, Yeah, like I'm booked out for a couple of months, but yeah, reach out to me and I'll get you on a set at the improv.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: You got it.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: So let me tell you how this happened, okay?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: I networked previously, ladies and gentlemen, watch this.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: I networked previously with one person, and that person, I I like him a lot, he's a cool guy.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I I pulled up to a show where I knew one person, one single person, to just come and support.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: I pulled up to the show, I got stage time at the show, had a good set, and then got booked for not one but two shows.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: One of them being at the Ontario Improv, which is where I started almost two years ago.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: So it took me about two years to get my first official booking where I started.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: But all of that because I pulled up to a show to just support.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: I did not ask for a spot.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: I pulled up to support, and because I knew one guy and and he gave me a good recommendation.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now I got on that show, got the stage time, got two bookings.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's just how it happens, ladies and gentlemen.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: That is how it happens, that's how it's happened for me a lot.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: That is how it happens.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: You might be like, how is this guy at this club, or how is this guy doing this, or how is this guy doing that?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I just go to different places and I'm just nice to people, and then and then they're pleasantly surprised when they put me up and they find me funny.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe they don't even find me super funny, but the audience finds me funny.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: I always think it's so funny when the comics are like, eh, it's not my style, but he's just ripping the room, you know what I'm saying?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's like eh, I don't really like him, but he's ripping the room.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I do think that's funny.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: And and I totally agree, because I know that happens sometimes.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, whenever I see some people like just like laughing in the audience when the guy is just being so guy or girl, whatever, sorry.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever the person is being just so hack and they're just saying just the stupidest, dumbest freaking stuff that I could just look up on Reddit and just find the jokes word for word, whatever, blah blah blah blah blah.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and the audience is loving it, like I get that, but like my material is not like that.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, I mean, everybody has a couple of hack jokes, but most of my material is just my life experience, which nobody else has, so it's kind of easy to just you know slot it in and be proud of myself, you know what I mean?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Especially like when I work it out, and you know, it gets good laughs, so that's good.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, uh, if I could encourage you in any way, support people, show up, support the homies, network with people so that opportunities like that can happen, and freaking just try and be nice, you know.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: I try and do that each day.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: I try and do that.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's cool.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just I'm passing golden era productions right now.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you guys don't know what that is, it's like freaking I think it's like Scientology or something like that.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a it's like a compound for Scientologists, and if you go near it, they'll shoot you.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of nuts.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's Scientology.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't remember what it is.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Mormon Scientology.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what it is.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: All I know is that I'm not gonna get anywhere freaking near it because they're gonna kill me.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: So let's not do that.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, so here's where we are, right?
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Comedy's going good.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm applying for some different jobs.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm trying to get a freaking regular full-time job so I don't have to come out here and do this weird freaking DoorDash thing because it's kind of crazy.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, I I love the the being back, the being back on the pod.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm gonna get a guest to interview for episode 9.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get a guest.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you right now, I'm gonna get a guest.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be a 30-minute long episode.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna have a guest, and I just want to just thank you guys so much for for listening.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Even this last week, um, where there was no new episodes, there was old episodes getting listened to, uh almost 90 plays on the old episodes.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I just want to thank you guys so much.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you guys so much.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: You guys are so freaking amazing.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: The support is uh is needed and it's also appreciated.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Every single one of you that reaches out or that messages me, or those are the same thing.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone that uh supports me and this pod, uh, thank you so much who supports my journey and all of that.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I'm filming my next episode of I'm Doin' It Mom for YouTube.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very excited about this one.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be about the Heat Wave Comedy Tour, which tickets are up right now if you want to check those out.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, if you check out my Instagram at Dave Thompson Comedy, you can see the link in my bio uh to my website, uh beacons.ai slash Dave Thompson Comedy.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: And you can go check out all the tickets there.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: You can get tickets for the heat wave shows that have been announced already, you can get tickets for the ice house, and uh hopefully I'll see you guys at a live show.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: So awesome.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you guys so much for listening.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you guys for being wonderful.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Drive safe, be happy, be wonderful, eat pizza, and don't drop a pizza in the oven.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if you do, don't get mad at your wife about it.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, love you guys.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Goodbye.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.