Latest / Nurtural Disasters / Don't Invite Crazies to Your Wedding
Transcript
- Intro: Hello and welcome to Nurtural Disasters. This is a podcast for those of us with toxic or emotionally immature parents. ⁓ We might not have a bunch of credentials next to our names, but we do have PhDs from the Hard Knocks University. Basically, we want this to be a validating space for adult children of parents who had no business having children. ⁓ Ken: Welcome to Nurtural Disasters with Ken and Lisa. Lisa: Well Ken: man. Just think about my wedding sometimes. I think that's that's why I was like, man, I should I should just have that y you know what I told my fiance? Can we just go to the courthouse and get the license? I don't want to deal with this. Lisa: Yeah, just do that. Ken: Can we just go to like have a destination wedding where we just invite maybe like ten people and, you know, nothing too far away and I I have I have Lisa: But I mean, I don't Ken: thoughts about that, yeah. Lisa: I I haven't talked to your fiance about the wedding stuff. I don't know. Does s does she want like a big wedding or small wedding? The well like what is it? Ken: You know, I wish I wish you would just like let me know because I feel like yeah, she's like, I just want a sensible wedding and that's I half don't believe her because, you know, it's a wedding. Lisa: Hm I mean she's a Ken: I would Lisa: sensible person. I do th I mean she drives a Toyota Camry. So that's that tells me everything. Ken: Corolla, it's even more efficient. Lisa: she got a Corolla. That's right. It is a Toyota Corolla, which is very very reliable. They're very reliable cars. Economical i and they're not sponsoring this. Ken: Economical? Yeah. Lisa: Just a bit just a heads up. They're not sponsoring this. But if they want to hey, if Tony wants a sponsor, that's fine. Because I drive a Toyota myself. Ken: I know, I dri j it's there's just something about Japanese cars. I dri I drive a Honda now, I used to drive Lisa: Yeah, the reliability. Ken: a Toyota, so Lisa: Yeah. I be I only do Japanese now because of the rel reliability See there I go again. Because of the reliability. But yeah. yeah. So yeah, I mean y there's a lot of affordable weddings. I think there's a lot of pressure of people to have like these very fancy, expensive, lavish stuff, especially because of Instagram and you gotta be flexing, as the kids say. You know, mug mogging? Yeah. Ken: Yeah, you wanna you flex and go poorer right afterwards because you know you know the state of economy and the state of just how our world is. It doesn't stop people from having weddings, by the way, in you know, first world countries, but you know. Lisa: you know what? I okay, so I just I found out a few years ago that like the average wedding is like between twenty to thirty thousand dollars. And and Ken: Mm. Lisa: I've talked to people who've gotten they paid that much for their wedding and they said, I wish I had used that money for a Dow payment on a house and just had a more sensible wedding. But it you know, there's like the the wedding industrial complex of like they nickel and dime the shit out of you. so it's like, you want a bow on your chair, you want a centerpiece, you need like, there's a cake cutting fee. And I'm like, what? Yeah, like if you're gonna someone to cut a slice of cake. I was like, you charge for that? Like the the little nickel and dime every little thing that you never would have thought of. To the point where it's like, you know what? Just go to the courthouse, you know, if you want to do a reception, Invite someone to like your backyard you know, have it catered. I don't know. I Ken: Yeah, you you yeah, that's why I wanted to tell you about the wedding, Elisa. It's it was a nice wedding. It just nothing was overdone, nothing was super fanciful, or nobody came in like riding a horse or something like that. I I don't I don't wanna I don't wanna diss Lisa: And where do you camp? Ken: my cousin, but it seemed more like a it did seem like a budget friendly wedding that was for what, a hundred people? maybe a hundred and Lisa: Yeah. Ken: twenty people. But it was Lisa: That Ken: it was nice. you know, you know, even I'm assuming like everybody that could do their part did their part. Like even an officiator is, probably like a like a personal friend. It's like stuff like that. A lot of I didn't say like a lot of the stuff was DIY. There is some DIY st stuff there, which I found really cool. even the staff that work You know, that worked the wedding, they're all just super nice, and that none of them seem shady at all, or you even the wedding planners are all like smiling and stuff like that. It's like they didn't seem like they were interjecting at all. It's like everything's going according to plan. And nothing was like super extravagant and but everything just went well. Everything was just it was a lot about just peep people being there and being dis I'm having a great time. And People were just taking pictures, people were just happy to be there. And it's just nice to have a wedding where it's not like the bride has two, three, maybe even four like dress changes. I've seen that wedding before. And I was like, Why put yourself through this? So but like it's i I guess it's just a personal preference, right? Some people like that. It wasn't it Lisa: Yeah, was it in LA or was it a destination what do you Ken: was it was in Huntington Beach, so it was a nice area of Huntington Beach. Yeah, and it Lisa: hundred eighth? Was was it enough? Ken: was it was on Beach Boulevard. But the funniest thing is, it wasn't at a church, it wasn't like a really nice like banquet hall. I kid you not, the the the event space they rented was in the back of a strip mall. Lisa: What do you mean? Like wait, what? Wait, like like what? Ken: It was well It was a strip wall. Like I looked outside and then it was like okay. I parked there, I was like, is this the right place? 'Cause it was like it Lisa: There's like a dry cleaner and then there's like a donut shop and then it's like, there was Ken: There was a donut shop, there was a vape store. There was like a like there was like a there I think there was a Thai restaurant. But the thing is it's a strip mall but it's not like Lisa: Shut up No Ken: a it's not like it was a n in a nice area, right? But it still was in the strip mall. Like I went into the venue, I'm like, this is a really nice place. I can't believe it's in Lisa: What? Ken: the strip mall. Lisa: Wait a minute, you're gonna have to let okay. When we're done with the podcast, send me the directions. I am so curious. Ken: I I'm not gonna I I I'm not just gonna send you the directions, I'm gonna show I have I didn't take any pictures per se. other people took pictures, but I'm gonna show you the picture of the venue. And you know, like you could probably Google Lisa: I Yeah, what? Ken: map the thing and it's in the strip mall. Lisa: So wait a minute, so so this venue, was it like the wedding and the reception in the same place? Ken: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Lisa: So was it okay, I have so many questions tonight. Ken: So they had they had the wedding ceremony. Then everybody exited. While Lisa: Okay. Ken: the, you know, like the the you know the people that were working on the wedding were, you know, getting the chairs out of the way. after after that we were having like like it was cocktail hour. just everybody just having drink, just just chilling out until the next phase of the wedding where it was like people taking pictures with the bride and groom. That lasted for a while, and then people exited the venue again. And then and then, you know, they put the tables and and chairs and then we had dinner. They all had it in the same room. It was frickin' incredible. It's frick I ought you know, me and my fiance Lisa: Send it to me. Send it to me right now. Text it me. Ken: looked at that and we were like wondering, it's like, maybe we should rent this place out. Because it just Lisa: my god, please send it to me right now. I I I'm I need a visual representation of everything you're talking about. Just just text it to and I'm gonna I can give you my play by play of like, wow. Huntington Beach, Ken: Okay, so Lisa: right you said? Ken: if this is the thing, I'm gonna have to look it up because I don't remember the name of the venue. Lisa: But you have the kitchen. Ken: All I knew remember it was on Beach Boulevard, which is, the biggest like the main street like Yeah, the main street Lisa: The main the main street, yeah, in Huntington. Ken: in like Orange County, Lisa: Yeah, Huntington Beach is a very nice neighborhood. Ken: It is a very nice neighborhood. It's just a f it's funny that it was in a strip mall, but it was in a nice area. So Lisa: I need to be a wedding I'm actually Googling right now. Ken: Okay. Let me look up the let me look up our mi my invitation. Okay. Lisa: Tend this way then yes. How do you Ken: Okay, let me look it up. Lisa: Wait, is it venue by by three pedals? Shut up. Ken: That's exactly it. Lisa: It's one of the first ones that shows up. we could cut this out. We could we cut the name of it. We don't wanna dox Ken: Yeah, yeah. Lisa: yeah. Ken: So, yeah, we're gonna look at this venue. Lisa, do you see the venue? Do you see a Google maps of it? And do you see like the Lisa: It is so beautiful. There's a huge chandelier. Ken: But the funny part is it looks great on the inside. If you look on the outside, it is a strip mall. That's why it's funny. Lisa: That is beautiful. Ken: It's still Lisa: my god, yes. Ken: It's still next to a smoke shop. Lisa: That's so funny, but you know what? I think your fiance has a sense of humor where it's like, you know what? I ch that is beautiful. Num it's funny, it's like unit Ken: I know, yeah, you know. Lisa: seven. It's like there has like the address and it's like unit number. Like as usually they yeah, I'm not gonna say, but yeah. Wow. Ken: it was a wedding where it didn't go overboard. And I like that. Lisa: Yeah, it has a great has a solid four s four stars on Google reviews. I mean, that's good, right? Ken: i y you know what? My cousin should thank thank his lucky stars that none of his like none of the family members or friends that showed up were like drama queens and just like torpedoed the wedding. Everything just went according to plan. It was everything was perfectly fine. Like we were talking the next day, nobody was like smash drunk. Of course it was on a Sunday night, so nobody was smash drunk unless people were retired, like there were a couple of retirees there. But it's like, yeah, everybody went home. We messaged each other the next day, it was like everybody shared pictures and stuff. Like so it was just it was just nice. I I hear so many horror stories about just weddings and it just you always hear the thing about the bride didn't eat all day. It's like that probably didn't happen. That did not happen. I think everybody was well fed and weren't gonna pass out. Not even and nobody was even pass out drunk. Like people had like one or two cocktails and they're good. Like there was no no one no person that was like smashed. Lisa: No. Ken: It's weird because I'm so used to the drama. And I'm sure you're used to the drama, you know, without just being around family members like that. So it's it's weird when things go without a hitch. And the thing is, I understand why my aunt that I mentioned earlier was really pushing me and my dad to like, you know, work it out. It's because she had issues with like two of my uncles there, right? they were all at the they were just all I won't if not cordial, just you know, like civil. So she's thinking that's how things work, right? You see someone then you didn't you you didn't work things out, so it's weird. but you know, it's for the greater good. No one caused a scene or anything like that. I was like, yeah, but the thing with my dad is he's probably gonna cause the scene. I know for sure he's gonna cause a scene. He's gonna if not like a s like he's if not like he's screaming inside the venue, like he's he's not that kind of drama queen, but he's gonna say something so b he's gonna tell like a horrific story and it's just gonna be like people are just gonna stare. And he's gonna be loud. If you think I'm loud, my dad's way louder than I am. So it that yeah, let yeah, yeah. He's not invited to my wedding. Lisa: okay. I'm glad you finally finished. Ken: No, th here's the thing, Lisa, it's like I know that I'm not gonna invite him to my wedding. It's just like if that conversation comes up, it was like Well, I'm married now, so He's probably gonna say some you know, he's nine comment, but you know, I don't want him there. Just knowing what he did on my my last birthday that I had at home, that I celebrated, you know, he torpedoed that. So why wouldn't to torpedo my wedding? Like if you gave your Lisa: Sorry, I'm Ken: like if you gave your mom a chance, you'll torpedo your wedding. And you know for sure she would. You're just wondering, it's like how bad is it gonna be? Lisa: Probably just end up fighting with my dad. She hates him, they hate each other, you know. Ken: fist fight, you know, slap fight or you know, Lisa: Really, yeah. Ken: just str just straight up like tackling. Lisa: I don't think it'll be a fist fight. I think it'll be more maybe my dad'll probably have a meltdown. And my yeah. Yeah, it w it would not be good. Not good. my god, I'm looking at the the the street view of the venue. There's a Walmart down the street. there's a Zenko chicken across the street. Wow. Like I'm doing a Google Map search. I it. Ken: See it's in the strip mall. Lisa: how funny. how funny. But it seems pretty sensible because it I was looking at the prices. It starts at like five grand, which is quote unquote cheap for the card. I Ken: Hey, if it's all inclusive for five grand, that's that's great. Lisa: I don't think it's all inclusive though. I don't Ken: if not, maybe you'll play for s some stuff here and there, maybe the food's not included. But you know, weddings are expensive these days, so Lisa: Shoot, I know. Ken: If it's cheaper than a used car, I say that's a win. Lisa: Who the? Ken: Was that a sneeze or like a horrific laugh? Lisa: my god, I'd sneeze. I'm having horrible Ken: Allergies? Lisa: my allergies are just terrible. Ugh. Allergy Ken: Speaking of allergies, where the heck did my cat go? Lisa: to your cat. I've been having horrible allergies lately. Like Ken: actually if you check the weather report, it says that we've been having like at least forty or fifty percent pollen in the air. Like if not in the Lisa: Is that Ken: air, just that's the that's the index. Mm-hmm. Air's been really bad. Lisa: Wait, seriously? It How much how the fuck is there so much pollen? I've been f sneezing my head off. Ken: Climate change. Lisa: Yeah. Ken: Lisa, it's it's it's it's in the middle, it's it's gonna be we're gonna be in the midst of fall. It just turned fall, by the way. and I looked at the weather forecast for the weekend and it's gonna be like 95 degrees in the basin. So just think about it. So add 10. So this doesn't Lisa: but I'm in the valley. It's supposed to be tri I know. Well yeah. Ken: feel like fall. Lisa: No, hell no. I I'm so ready for the the cold weather again. Cold well, co California cold. Not like I'm talking like Toronto cold. But anyway Ken: Yeah, so so so people that haven't that listen to the podcast that haven't been to, you know, Southern California, our winters cold is what? sixty degrees Fahrenheit. Lisa: Yeah, you might you might need a sweater. Ken: Actually w now I feel like we're we're the only people that use Fahrenheit, so I have to get that in two Celsius. that would be fifteen degrees Celsius for everybody Lisa: The Celsius. What's the calculation for Celsius? You're Googling it right now. No Celsius. Ken: that's listened to this. Lisa: Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, the the rest of the year is pretty nice. I mean, Southern California has like some of the best weather in the in the world, honestly. But Ken: Well, you pay the price for that. Lisa: yeah, yeah. But yeah, I yeah, I was just wondering why the hell my allergies are horrible. And I so there was like this whole conspiracy of like have you heard of botanical sexism? Ken: No. Lisa: Okay. So the conspiracy is that like Zertec had like Ken: this was this was this was back a couple of years ago, right? It was like the how they were, you know, doing the plants. Lisa: Yes, th well they it was like, we're trying to greenify cities but and s well, supposedly, they had like they weren't c cahoots or I don't know if they paid off. Supposedly like they paid off politicians and whatever to basically like, Yeah, we'll greenify your city, we'll pay for it. but it only can only be male plants 'cause they're the ones who emit the pollen. 'Cause the female plants are like the recipients, the fruit trees or whatever of the pollen, but it can only be male. So they're basically emitting pollen to it so you can have take more Surtech. Like that's the conspiracy, right? Botanical sexism. What I I was like, what? Ken: I seriously don't think it's like with a lot of stuff, you know, with just the state of the world now, it's like everything is for sale. Lisa: Mm. Ken: I think honestly in my trajectory, like I you know, I've been in grad school, I didn't finish grad school, but I was like I'll learn about like geopolitics and stuff like that. And I actually took a class in grad school about the economies of you know, having farmland, right? I've just come to the consensus that hey through our technology. No, I don't we're we're we're come to a point in humanity that no one should be starving. But yet people do. Why is that? There's people starving like right down the street right now, where I'm living in my apartment. So you think about it is like there shouldn't be people starving. So something's wrong here. It's just something wrong with the economy, right? It's everything is commodified for, for purchase. we talked about water is for purchase, water is is and air is supposedly abundant and But you know, it's like we don't want to dive too deep into there, but everything's for sale. So I won't doubt that, yeah, politicians talk about, well, we w we have greenery, people were gonna like that, but was like, you know, it's gonna just cause people to have allergies and sneeze. I was like, at least my allergies have been much better. So at least that's a plus, Lisa: That's one of us. Ken: right? Lisa: That's one of us. Okay, we're getting a little off topic. We can just cut the cut all this part out. Ken: topic is this is this is pretty much our you know, you know, we're gonna wind down pretty soon. Lisa: yeah, well Ken, I wanted to tell you, Vegas actually has those all all inclusive packages. Just a heads up. Ken: Yeah, but I don't like Vegas anymore. Have you seen how expensive Vegas is has been lately? Lisa: Yeah, I was there couple months ago. Yeah. influencers were like, Vegas is dead. And but they'll literally film at like five in the morning, when no one's up and be like, Look at this evening. Look, there's no people. a lot of influencers are full of shit. But like I don't Ken: I do but I do believe it's it's not empty, it's just that there has been noticeable downtick Lisa: Yeah, they're they're Ken: in in patrons. And I think the I think the Lisa: Yeah, they're there fewer visitors. Ken: spending of the money is less too. So you have to factor that in. Lisa: Yeah, there's two visitors. But it's slightly but it's not as like pronounced as they they make it seem on YouTube. Ken: Well, it's it's it's not empty, but if you if let's say like you just going with the modest or more believable, even a downtick in ten to twenty percent, that's huge. Ten to twenty percent of anything downtick, it's it's like huge that like people have said like ten percent, that's a decimation. So you could just think about a city that was totally vibrant, especially right after COVID opened back up. you couldn't you couldn't walk down the strip without bumping into anybody. Like it's just it's just so many people when when it opened back up. But it's kind of like you take that and then now it's almost you know there's there's certain casinos that are like not filled to the brim. And you I'm so used to these resorts be filled to the brim. And since they're not like there's obviously something that's like not working out right. There that's things in Vegas are you're getting less for your money. And There comes a point where if you get squeezed enough, people are just not gonna go to Vegas. So it this might be just the start of, people just spending their money elsewhere. Lisa: Yeah. But it still to be fair, when I went there were two different conventions that overlapped. Like you know, we I think we talked about this. It was the wrestling one, but that Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: I had knew I knew nothing about that when I went. But Yeah, but there were still plenty of people. I mean, yeah, and I I did no I did notice that everything Ken: Yeah, yeah, I d I I don't I don't doubt that, yeah. Lisa: But I did notice that everything was way more expensive. Like a cocktail like Ken: Yeah, yeah. Lisa: close to twenty dollars for a fucking cocktail. Which is great. Ken: Yeah, I'm t I'm telling you, Lisa, it's it's it's it's things it's little things like that where there there are no good deals in Vegas anymore. And if it keeps continuing, people are just not gonna spend their money there. There's gonna be there's gonna be places in in the country or around the world that could offer probably better value, right? That than Vegas could. a lot you know a lot of people they they got a lot of like local traffic, and you know by local I mean like in the next state and they drive to Vegas, but a lot of People at the peak of Vegas was like they're from out of town, so they had to fly into the airport. So we don't think about that because we're literally the next state over from Nevada. But for other people, they have to fly in, and if I'm gonna fly into Vegas and pay all this money, why don't I just fly to a resort where there's a beach and it's not a hundred and twenty degrees. And everything will be all inclusive. Why don't I just fly to Jamaica or something like that? And you think about it, why don't I fly to a resort in Mexico? So there's gonna be more of that. so why go to Vegas? Lisa: I heard that's not it as cheap as you think it is. Cause I was talking to a friend at the end of last year, and she was saying that her sister was getting married, and I thought, okay, cool. And it was a destination writing in like Puerto Vallarta. And I was like, how cool, that's gonna be so fun. And she said, It's very expensive. It's not cheap. And I'm like, How expensive? At this resort, it's four hundred dollars a night. I'm like, what? It's like yeah, you have to stay forty bucks a night and I'm like, what the hell? Because you know, in Mexico you get deal, your dollar goes far. But So I'm like so it's just like Cancun and Tulum and like it it's not cheap. So you you'll have to look. I mean, for your destination wedding, I mean, I hope you find something and hopefully your cousin's venue can work with you. Or you just elope, you know, go to the city hall. That's pretty cheap, you know? And then do like a Ken: Yeah. Lisa: little and you could just do 'cause I've seen people do that, especially when they're elderly and they've like been married once or twice. They they don't have like the huge wedding that young people do and they'll just go to the courthouse and then have like a reception afterwards. eventually, but down the line. Not not like r right after, but maybe a couple months later and like, okay, when everyone's ready, we can just like go to a restaurant or my backyard. That that sort of thing. I mean there's you have options. Ken: Yeah. So pr yeah, so you yeah, that's g that's great. But to wind down this episode, pretty much we're just saying that when you have like toxic parents, especially if your parent is like a narcissist, it's like it's probably better not to invite them to the wedding. Because unless you want to have a spectacle and try to pitch it as a reality show, nothing could come out of that that invitation. Only bad stuff could come out. Bad. Very, very bad. Lisa: absolutely. I mean I c I feel like I I said it ad infinitum to Ken. Do not invite th just just don't fucking invite them. Don't bother. If you need to elope, do your thing. I think i people do weddings bec for other people. It seems like it's just Like we were saying is to flex, but I think a lot of people like, I want my grandmother to be there, I want this to be there, you know, it's a family event. And I totally get that. But when you have toxic parents, I just say f do your thing, do what you feel is best for you. That's the best advice I can give. Like if you think I it that you believe because I you do not want a ruined wedding. Like I've known people who've actually had to like I'm gonna do a second wedding years down the line. Yeah, yeah it Ken: I've heard of people that have done second weddings, like one of my cousins from my mom's side did a wedding in two countries. I was like, what? Lisa: I've known people who did that because they had family like outside of the country who couldn't make it, Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: which is fine. But I'm no people who did a second wedding because their first one was just ruined by their toxic family members or whatever. It was just like, can I do one that's for me? That's my god, Ken: Yeah, yeah. Lisa: a verbatim. That's what they've said. Multiple people, I want a wedding that's for me. And that tells you everything you need to know because they made it all about them, right? Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: So Ken, I'm just worried about you being in that position. You know, weddings are not cheap. Weddings are not cheap. Ken: Here's the thing, Lisa. If you if here's the thing, Lisa. If you cut my immediate family, like my my dad and my sister from the wedding, like if you just omitted that, I have very solid people around me. Like all my aunts and uncles and my cousins are very supportive. So I have that's that's why it's so mind-boggling that I can't explain things to a lot of my like aunts and uncles and cousins that don't understand. what it is to have a relationship with someone that's like a narcissist as your parent. So they don't get it. So it's hard to explain it to them. Mm-hmm. And and that Lisa: No. And they and they won't they'll never get it. If you've never d if you've never been through it, you'll never get it. You'll you're gonna get a no, you're just gonna get platitudes and stuff that No. Yeah. Ken: And that's totally normal. Like you like people that don't go through that, they just think it's like, yeah, you could work it out. It's like, no, you can't. You can't work it out. I've d I've Lisa: You can Ken: done this for years. There's no way I could work this out, okay? So it's like I've been through therapy for this. It's not gonna work out. It's called radical acceptance. I'm I I accepted it. You should accept it too. But I'm like, I could have a whole big wedding, you know. My in-laws are very supportive of me. And I'm like, maybe they could just be my parents, right? Maybe I could borrow like a parent from somewhere else. Maybe if someone wants if someone has like a very positive father and mother and want to lend them out to me for a night, that'll be great. I was like, this is my dad. Here you go. If just for optics, like people that don't know me very well and never met my dad, it's like they won't know the difference, right? They just know it's like, why do you talk to the you why do you talk crap about him on your podcast? he seems like a pleasant person. Uh-huh. Little do you know, that's not really my dad. That's that's Greg from accounting. Here's the thing, I I want to have a regular wedding, I just don't want to have my crazy family there. Right? And that's all that's what I want. Lisa: Mm-hmm. Ken: I wanna have a nice wedding. I just don't want my dad and my sister there. Lisa: Then have one. Ken: I sh I should have a normal wedding, just they're not gonna be there. And that perfectly that that's you know what it is? I think about that and th I think that's hilarious in my mind. I'm like, I think I'm gonna do it, but I still think it's like kinda funny that I have to do that. And kinda sad. Mostly sad that I have to do that. I can't get over Lisa: Yeah. Yeah. Ken: the sad Lisa: I mean y'all you'll figure out what's best for you and I think your fiance is very I very accepting and I think she she realizes, you know, the situation and but y you know, I Ken: But you know, her parents aren't perfect, but at least for a wedding, they'll be on their best behavior, right? Just be like parent just be like parents. I can't rely on my family to be normal people, and that's just really crazy that they can't be normal people for a night. They can't. You can't ask like someone that's either like a sociopath or like a narcissist to not go to the lowest common denominator and just make a mess of it. I've seen this before. It's gonna happen again. Lisa, let me tell you this. A lot of my issues, like when I see like, dramatic things where people just like throw things and you know, you know, just make a scene. My family does that. They're like people that make a scene. So I'm used to that. I'm like, at a young age, I was exposed to people that make a scene. So I'm like, I look at that, I was like, After a while, I was like, maybe I should make a scene too. And you know, sometimes I do make a scene. not so much lately, but I got used to people that make a scene in my family. So people that throw things, people that make really loud accusations and expletives in public, people that on the ground just throwing hissy fits. Yeah, I I yeah, yeah, that's my family. I don't want that near my wedding. Lisa: Then don't. Just My advice when I tell people, just do what's best for you. If you don't want them Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: at your wedding, don't have them. Period. Ken: I'm pretty sure there's places I could just hire parents. You laugh, but I would do that. I was like, Well, thanks, dad. And then people that are like my relatives like that's not his dad. But Is that is that I don't have enough clout Lisa: That's Jackie Chan. That's Jackie Chan. We know, we've seen him in big Ken: to pull Jackie Chan, but you know, maybe I could get like some character actor that's been in some stuff. Lisa: Maybe he maybe he's on cameo. You know, maybe he's haul fallen on h hard times or maybe Ken: You know what, Lisa? I could have someone I could buy a cameo and I could play that. I was like, there's my dad. Lisa: he couldn't make it. You know, he's taking care of my mom, so he couldn't make it. But you know, he's Ken: Wait, his dad is Chris Hansen? Yeah, by the way, Chris Lisa: Yeah. Ken: Hansen is on cameo. I'm like, Chris Hansen, that's my dad. And people would just think it's like hilarious that that's my dad. So it's like, you know, the you know Ken has a warped sense of humor, so it's like, okay, that we've heard Lisa: Mm-hmm. Ken: about his dad. We'll accept this as his dad. We'll just k we'll just we'll just not say anything about it. You know what? I just want if I have a wedding, I just want people to have fun. I don't want people to just go through our ordeal. 'Cause I don't want to go to ordeal. When I go to a wedding I don't want to have ordeal. So no ordeals. And that's the end of that. Lisa: That's that. Ken: Well I ac I you know Lisa: We can have just short episodes, it's fine. I mean it's all it's already over an hour. Ken: what? I don't mind short episodes. I f yeah. Lisa: Neither neither do I. They're easy to cut and I have a have a lot lot of stuff going on. So for me it's like short episode, okay, cool. I'm done. Less than an hour. Ken: Heck, we could I wish we could just record like willy nilly and then do like little fifteen to twenty minute shorts. Well, that's that's that sounds long, but Lisa: Yeah. Well. Okay. So that's the end of this episode. Thank you guys for listening and I hope you guys took something from it. And also you know, and feel like you're not so alone with this stuff because when you have a toxic family, it complicates every single fucking holiday ex birthday, wedding Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: event Yeah, but yep. Any last words, Ken? Ken: Well, if you can't get your narcissistic family to stand in line, just rent a family. And then have a nice wedding. Lisa: Yeah, rent Yeah. Ken: Have a nice wedding. Lisa: Have a nice wedding. Okay. Well goodnight, Ken. Good night, listener. Well, it's probably during the day, but all right, bye everyone. Ken: Have a good time. We'll speak to you guys next time.