Latest / Luxe & Legacy Podcast / The Art of Saying No: Creating Clear Boundaries for the New Year

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The Art of Saying No: Creating Clear Boundaries for the New Year · Luxe & Legacy Podcast

Welcome to the Lux and Legacy Podcast.
I'm Marie from Marie Elizabeth Photography.
And I am Amber from Light Live in Photography.
We created this show for photographers who are ready to run a luxury business with clarity, intention, and elevated artistry.
Each week we uncover the strategies behind high level brands from shooting and styling to client communication, to marketing, to designing heirloom products that increase your value.
If you want to attract aligned clients, produce, work with a recognizable aesthetic and build a business that supports the life you want, this podcast will guide you there.
Let's dive in.
In today's episode, we're breaking down where boundaries tend to quietly erode over time and how to intentionally reset them for the year ahead.
We especially want to make this episode as we begin to end the year because this is the perfect time for photographers to start thinking about what worked and what didn't work in the previous year.
So we're also gonna talk about this.
Through the lens of motherhood and what it looks like to build a business that supports our families, not competes or, you know, replaces our time with them.
We'll share practical, real life examples from our own businesses and how small shifts now can create a calmer, more sustainable rhythm as you move through 2026.
As we step into 2026, today's episode is all about refining the boundaries that support a calm, sustainable luxury photography business.
Nice.
So we're first gonna talk about why boundaries matter more at this stage of business, meaning why they matter in the luxury market and.
This topic reminds me of my teaching days.
Boundaries are so, so important in the classroom and at home as a parent, right? make students feel comfortable.
And without regulations there is a discomfort because people's roles are blurred.
So students will act out more.
And the students who do listen, they get frustrated at the lack of structure and the slow tempo that the class may be moving at.
Likewise, a business needs to have clear structure so clients understand exactly what their role is so they can feel comfortable and guided.
If I were to show up.
Had a hair salon where there was no order, and hairdressers were running around doing multiple people's hair at once, doing cuts and color at the same time.
Walk-ins were getting seated before people who had reservations, I would feel uncomfortable and unsafe to be honest the lack of order.
Is a disservice.
So as a client, you want to feel taken care of, and boundaries are incredibly important in doing so.
Yeah, I definitely find that boundaries make clients appreciate and respect you so much more.
And I love that example because it highlights something at the beginning of this conversation that we talked about is boundaries are not about being just rigid and rude and unavailable.
They actually signal leadership and professionalism.
So when clients see clear.
They immediately understand that you run an intentional business and you know how to lead them through the experience.
This makes them feel like, oh, she's the professional, she's an expert.
She's at a higher level, so.
They aren't going to walk all over you really, if they know you have a clear professional business and very clear guidelines, boundaries and workflow that you function within.
It helps them feel calmer too.
I feel like your lead leadership.
As a photographer and it is really leading them through everything from beginning to end to posing all of that.
Your leadership in that is comforting to luxury clients because they don't want someone who's guessing or feel they also pick up on if you are kind of.
In that desperation mode of trying to please, please, please, they pick up on that and will shift to a more, well, I'm in control then and I'm gonna tell you blah, blah, blah, blah.
That type of vibe can happen in that case.
So.
A luxury client really wants to trust that there's a process and someone that is confident in holding onto that process and guiding them through it.
If everything feels really flexible without boundaries, it doesn't feel generous.
It feels uncertain.
It does not make your client feel secure.
They don't know where they stand and when boundaries break down, it could be.
That feeling of caving to a client that asks for a discount or possibly shooting on a weekend when you don't normally do it.
This is a disservice to you, obviously, but also a major disservice to your clients.
We often will begrudgingly do a task we agree to do under less than ideal circumstances.
Thus.
Giving it less than ideal work, so not giving our clients our best, whether that be enough time with margin, or maybe it's our best creativity when our own cup isn't full, it affects our clients, so it's just not a good way of serving them.
Yes, and I think that happens most often if you have that energy of desperation a little bit, where you're afraid you're kind of living in a scarcity mode rather than an abundance.
Mode and abundance energy.
'cause if you're in abundance energy and you're like.
Clients will come to me all the time.
There is never a deficit of clients.
I am okay.
And you're, you're giving yourself these affirmations and you are feeling that then that's going to attract more clients to you.
And then if you're living in that fear or scarcity mode, always feeling like desperately, oh, I gotta book this person, oh, I gotta, I gotta work around their schedule.
I got to do everything so that they feel happy with me and I have to.
People please constantly.
Then it actually makes them less likely to book with you and more likely to.
Kind of, you know, take advantage in certain places.
So often we convince ourselves that being more available or more flexible equals better service, but it actually happen.
What actually happens is it blurs the line for the clients, and then we also start to feel a little bit resentful and that feeling starts to creep in when.
They start to take control of things and say, well, I, I want this angle, I want that angle.
I want, I want you to do this on me.
I want you to, you know, and they kind of start taking the reins and then we're like, oh, geez, this doesn't feel good.
This doesn't feel aligned.
So.
When I've said yes to something or was flexible on my own boundaries that didn't feel aligned, I could feel it in my energy before I even showed up, and that's not the version of me that I want my clients getting.
Yeah, exactly.
It is not good for us, not good for them.
So how to set intentional boundaries for the new year.
So first, let's talk about communication and I'll share what boundaries I currently have set up in my business.
So in terms of communication and scheduled work hours.
I work three semi full day or full work days a week from eight 30 in the morning to 1:30 PM I have this noted in my email signature and on my contact page, so clients and potential clients will know what to expect when hearing from me.
I think I actually list Monday through Friday, eight 30 to one 3:00 PM.
only three of those days actually allow for calls.
The other two days, I'll do some random admin and email communication.
So if a client reaches out on a Friday night or someone submits an inquiry form, I will say I do try to get back to inquiries.
As soon as possible.
That's my only exception, but that's super easy.
I just get a notification on my phone, respond, and it's done.
But if a client who I'm already in contact with reaches out at night, maybe on a Friday night before the weekend.
know to expect my response.
Sometime on Monday, they'll know that I'm not going to respond immediately.
And then for calls, clients, schedule those through my online scheduler where I have already set the timeframes that I'm available.
So there's no back and forth of clients asking me if I'm free on a Saturday at 8:00 PM and this also saves so much time, right.
There's no back and forth.
We're not going, you know, three emails back and forth with each other.
I am already setting those boundaries.
I'm communicating to clients that this is the system.
This is how things work, so they know what to expect.
Yes, exactly.
And that's how you can really have a functional business long term, right, is having clear business hours and a workflow that works for you and your life, not.
The other way around mine is very similar, a little bit different, but the intention's the same for the response email.
I have a very automated workflow for my emails that actually sounds like me.
So even if they filled out the inquiry form at 1:00 AM they automatically get a response that.
It does sound like it's more direct.
It doesn't sound robotic, is what I mean.
And then it does have a link to the heirloom guide and a link where they can book a consultation call.
And I love that because then I can just set my schedule.
I only take consultation calls Tuesdays and Thursdays between nine 30 and 12.
That way I know.
And I don't feel stressed all the time trying to check my calendar for, oh, did someone book a call at 3:00 PM on Wednesday? And like being stressed that I'm missing something all the time.
I know that on those days I always need to double check my calendar and the night before.
Always double check your calendar to see if someone booked a consultation call.
On those days, and most often during busy season, I have those days.
A lot of consultation calls.
But it's, it's set.
So I don't feel overwhelmed or stressed about, about going back and forth with a client saying, are you available this time? And they're like, oh no, I'm working this time.
They can just choose it from my calendar.
It's just so much easier for me building ease into your, into your boundaries and what works best for you and your schedule with your kids and your life is just gonna make your business much easier to continue long term and.
Feel much better for you.
So this is something that I have loved incorporating over the past few years.
And then for my shoots, I.
For, for my outdoor shoots, I only shoot when the lighting is best and I only take shoots Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays.
And then if they want to book a weekend, there is a surcharge.
So that's.
Stated on my website and in that email, just like a quick blurb, weekends are an extra $200 surcharge and that deters so many people from booking weekends.
I do still occasionally have someone book a weekend.
Which I'm totally fine with, if they absolutely have to, they absolutely cannot get off work.
But most of the time if there's a a dis, it's kind of a discount, but it's really just not, you know, not charging more for a weekday session because I realized I was starting to feel resentful leaving the family on the weekends and even if my shoot was in the afternoon or evening.
It's on my mind all day.
When I have a shoot, it's on my mind.
So I could be at a soccer game, but I don't feel totally present 'cause I know, okay, I had to go back and get my camera bag at this time and I have to make sure I leave in time for traffic.
And there's just a slight anxious feeling no matter what.
Even though I've been doing this for years, I still always feel that way before I leave for a session.
So I love having my weekends free now.
It's a boundary that I keep.
Really well with clients.
That way I can have time for my family, soccer games, cleaning the house,, movie nights, and just relaxing and, and just keeping my, my photo shoots mostly to the weekdays.
Now that I have this studio, I do sometimes take daytime shoots during the week as well, which has, has been lovely for the schedule 'cause the kids are at school and it's, it's really nice to do daytime shoots.
When I do set these boundaries with clients, you may be like, well, yeah, it's easy to say, but how do you, how do you actually do that? And how do you stop people pleasing when that's the type of personality you've had your whole life? And I always try to frame these boundaries to these, to clients around what's best for them.
I never make it about.
Self.
I never make it about like, oh, well my family needs me or I need to do, no, they don't.
They honestly, as sweet as they are, they don't really care about you or your family's time.
And if you phrase it in a way that's actually what's best for them, for example.
I'm very intentional about when I photograph because light is such a huge part of my look.
I mean light live in photography, it's in the name.
So when they see my portfolio is so consistent with that glowy Boca and my Instagram is so consistent, that's why they're booking me.
So if they book me and then I allow them to push me into another time of day where.
Yes, you can take a beautiful photo midday, and it's fine, but it's not the same work that I have been presenting and that I love to create.
So then they're gonna be upset with me.
So what I do is I just say.
You know, I shoot in the evening because that's when you're gonna get that gorgeous glowy boca that you've seen and absolutely loved.
And I know when you reached out to me, and, and most people do put this on their inquiry form, that they love my light, they love my lighting, so.
I'm like, I wanna make sure you get what you actually came for.
And don't worry about the kiddos, if it's, if it's late in the summer.
I am really good with kiddos, even when, so I can guide them through it, even if they're tired, don't worry.
We'll still figure it out.
So I make it about what's best for them.
And then I also.
With the surcharge on the weekend, it's like, it's actually better for you if you shoot during the week because also you won't have people at the locations, you won't have people getting in our shot and trying to take where, where the light is best and it's always about them, even though I really, half of it is really what I need for my own sanity.
For sure.
I think a lot of photographers struggle with that weekend component because some clients, will come to you expecting that weekends are the only option.
But I find what helps is like on my contact form, it actually says when I photograph.
Sessions or next to my contact form, rather.
I think it says something like, sessions are photographed weekday mornings typically.
So again, I love it.
Having that there before conversation starts.
I also have it in my planning guide, which they get.
our planning consultation.
So by the time we get to actually scheduling their session, the, with the date and time, they've already received that information.
And oftentimes my clients will say, oh, and I know you don't, you know, work weekends.
So they've already seen that information.
They understand.
Now, if a client does ask you.
If you can shoot a weekend, and this still occasionally happens to me, am such a big people pleaser, so for me, what helps is having.
Just practiced what you're gonna say and the both successful line with this for me is saying, you know, I just photograph on weekdays so I can ensure that as Amber said, the locations are as crowd free as possible, and weekends are reserved for my family.
And as parents, like no one is going to really push back on that statement.
It's actually.
A boundary they'll likely respect.
So it's very helpful to have practice what you're going to say.
So you're not on the spot.
Like if you're a people pleaser and it's hard for you to say no in the moment, practice exactly how you're gonna say it.
Boundaries also are really helpful creatively.
So I find that clients trust you immensely in the luxury market.
Luxury clients trust the advice of professionals leading us to do our best creative work.
I'll sometimes try something artsy or quirky during a session, and every time I do, I'll say something like, I'm just gonna try this, see how if it works.
My clients always say, I trust you.
I just had a session this morning and at the end of the session, I asked my client, are there any other shots you want that we haven't gotten? She said, I trust you.
They're not giving me shot lists or critiquing their galleries or combos.
Luxury clients, trust professionals.
100%.
And this was one of the biggest mindset shifts that I don't think a lot of people realize.
I used to think that higher prices meant I would attract more demanding or picky or kind of.
Rude clients and it was just the opposite.
I get people who, if you are willing to come to me and, and pay these prices, you're probably a really big fan and you probably someone who's followed me for a while.
And so I find that it's the opposite.
They do trust me so much more now.
They're not giving me shot lists and being picky about things and yeah, like Marie said, my last session that I had at the end, I said, is there anything.
Or no, I was at the beginning because sometimes I do wanna know, like maybe they had a specific thing in mind.
Like they really want a horizontal shot of all the kids looking at the camera, which I don't normally do horizontal and I don't normally do all looking at the camera very often.
So I do kind of wanna know that if there is something specific that they wanna frame.
But a lot of the time what they'll say is, Nope.
Oh, we trust you.
Like let's go with the flow.
Whatever you think.
And I'm like, yes.
I love these clients.
And it seems like the cheaper you are, actually, the pickier people are and the more demanding and the more they're like, well, I get a twofer.
Right? And I get a, and I remember when I was charging $150 for a session and I gave her this gorgeous session and then I think like 10 months later she was gonna book again.
And I said, now, my Price has gone up to like.
It was a whole 300 that I had gone up to.
She's like, well, I should get, and the way she said it was so entitled and demanding, and it was, I should get the same rate that I got last time, blah, blah.
And I was like, Mm-hmm.
and I said, no.
And I did not want to continue working with her be because of that kind of that attitude.
But I can see how a lot of people get pulled into that.
People pleasing mode, and they're like, well, okay, I don't wanna make you upset with me, but I have found that the higher I go, the easier it is to work with my clients.
They're just, they're so nice and they're so trusting and they're so confident that I'm able to get what they came to me for.
Yeah, exactly.
I, I do feel like luxury clients are significantly easier to work with and I, I wonder why this is, and I truly think it's, they trust professionals and then, budget clients.
very used to.
things themselves.
So they're Mm-hmm.
to being Yeah.
They're used to looking for discounts.
They're used to asking for discounts.
So it's kind of ingrained into their culture when it comes to buying.
So you work with luxury clients, you don't deal with that.
So that leads us into what we're gonna talk about now with boundaries, and that's pricing.
So I.
Rarely ever have anyone ask for a discount.
I go over all of my pricing information on a discovery call, I answer any questions potential clients might have.
Then helps avoid any confusion and allows things to just be clearly communicated to everyone.
Those boundaries are set immediately.
And then another aspect with high prices.
Is, as I said, I, I really don't get people asking for a discount.
It's extremely, extremely rare.
I think I've had it happen twice.
Luxury clients respect luxury pricing.
You wouldn't walk into Prada and ask them to discount a bag for you because you saw a similar design at Coach.
They would probably laugh at you.
So we're not gonna do that to our clients.
But by offering sustainable pricing, you're weeding out those price shoppers.
You're just not gonna get people who are gonna be asking for that kind of thing.
Yeah, exactly.
And another thing is perception.
So if you are.
Always doing mini sessions and it's kind of.
Lowering the value of your brand because you're always offering like, well, I could do a one off, like a a 30 minute session for a cheaper price.
Then it definitely brings you back down out of that luxury market, out of that perspective of luxury because you're saying you're gonna discount it and you're gonna work with them to make it work for them, rather than holding your boundaries really strong and attracting the right clients.
Who would not want to work with a photographer, that it's, there's also an exclusivity involved, right? So not everybody can buy a chanel bag or louis vuitton shoes.
I, I feel like I never say that, right, but that word, right.
But it, if they were always discount at the TJ Maxx and you could get those designer shoes and handbags there at a discount.
It would suddenly make them not want it anymore.
Right.
So there's also this perspective thing going on with making sure you're always holding your boundaries with your clients and not doing one-off mini sessions, not giving them a quote unquote discount, for example.
One thing that if, if you do offer like a collection or like a special rate for maybe someone who's doing a membership with you, like they're booking three sessions and getting three albums, then yes, of course you're gonna create a special package that has a VIP or a premium price offering, but you're gonna wanna phrase it in a way that it's not.
Creating kind of a discount with your pricing and making you look like one of the budget or discounting photographers.
So I just created, because I have the studio now.
I really wanna encourage people to book both a studio session and an outdoor session together.
So I'm booking that same client twice and they're getting twice as much artwork or albums, et cetera.
So I created a premium package that has a very special.
Price for the collective program, but also studio sessions are so much easier for me and so close to my house.
They require almost no thinking.
Like I just go and I can create it and then go pick up my kids from school.
So for me it works to have this kind of collection, but then I also want them to book the full session at the, the regular rate.
So it kind of creates this.
This package that doesn't cheapen my brand, but it entices them to actually book more and spend more with me.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's kind of like membership, it's easier to make money with your current clients than to make money with new clients.
Yes.
So how do you introduce boundaries? With confidence with your clients? And as we've kind of harped on, I think the key is making it about better serving your clients.
It's about them, not you.
And even though it serves you when you are have a full cup, it's going to allow you to serve your clients the best.
So.
Frame it in a way that it's going to provide your clients with the absolute best experience, absolute best location, absolute best and I would have it written.
On your website, maybe near your contact form and any kind of planning guide.
So that way their first introduction to that boundary is something they'll experience on their own.
If they miss it, they might ask you, but a lot of people will see that and then have a prepared statement ready to go in the event that they do ask to cross a boundary.
Yeah, I love that.
And the more you practice it, the better.
Right? And I love this so much 'cause it is exactly how I frame my own boundaries, protecting my time with my kids.
Isn't separate from my business.
It directly affects how I show up for my clients, how I can keep a business long term.
And feel good about it.
I also, another thing I wanted to mention, boundaries related is I don't respond to non-urgent texts in the evenings.
So I do give my phone number out to clients because sometimes when you're coordinating outfits and things, it's just easier.
Or if I wanna send them a pin to the location of where I'm parked, it's just nice to have their phone number.
But sometimes you get moms who are up late in the middle of the night and they might text you.
I wanna say this very strongly.
If you're someone who responds to those right away, stop responding to those right away.
'cause you're setting it up as though you're not a professional business when you do that.
So if it's not an urgent text, like they said, oh, do you think this shirt goes well with these pants? I'm happy to answer a question like that.
But not at 7:00 PM when I'm hanging out with my kids, and they have never once.
Never once have I ever felt like they expected me to.
Never once have I gotten back to them the next day and felt like they were huffy with me because I hadn't responded yet at all.
I think that they realized they texted me too late at night.
Anything after probably, I don't know, six 30 or so, I probably won't get back to until the next day.
Especially if it's after 8:00 PM I absolutely will not even look at it or respond until the next day and they seem to really appreciate it.
The next day I get back to them, there's absolutely, they're like, oh, great.
Okay, thanks.
Like it's.
There's absolutely no resentment with that.
So I think people are afraid their clients are gonna think that they're not there for them, or they need to constantly respond.
But definitely don't answer your emails or your texts too late at night.
'cause it shows that you're not a professional business and you don't have business hours.
Yeah, boundaries.
Create respect.
My husband.
Texted we're we bought an investment property and we're remodeling it.
And my husband texted the, one of the painters I think it was a Friday night or maybe it was hvac, I can't remember one of the contractors and.
did not respond until Monday during business hours, and we are not offended at all.
Instead, it allows us to have more respect for this business because they have a clear structure of how they operate and that clear structure, it, it gives the idea that we're gonna get better results.
You're, we're able to trust them more.
Okay.
I also wanna be really honest here with you guys.
I don't want it to sound like I never struggle with anything.
I do have really great, clear boundaries with clients, but something that I've actually.
Really been struggling with this year is boundaries with friends.
So this is a little bit of a different topic, but still within the realm of boundaries and making sure you have a sustainable business that you're not feeling resentful about.
So this year, somehow I got.
Caught up in a new moms group where I absolutely love these moms and they're kind of newer friendships, so somehow I ended up doing a free.
Session for like three of them.
And then, you know, just saying, just tip me, you know, we're friends and I don't really know how this happened, you guys.
I don't normally ever do this, and my sister doesn't even ask me to do this, and my close best friends don't ask me to do this because they know that my business takes a lot of time and a lot of money and a lot of effort, and it's just not sustainable to give away free sessions.
But somehow I let it happen this year.
And I wanted to say some lessons that I've learned from it.
Number one, I won't be doing any more free sessions in the future unless it is a model shoot that, and with these shoots, I did style them and pick the locations I wanna say.
So I did post two out of three of them, but usually if I do a free shoot, it's really, really.
Only for specific marketing purposes, and I don't usually let this kind of thing happen.
If you do a marketing shoot, you guys, it should be.
With someone who really represents the look and the aesthetic that you wanna create.
It should be at the location where you feel really called to shoot at.
Like you feel like, oh, this location I've never shot here before.
I'm dying to get this in my portfolio.
I could be really creative here.
Whatever it is, you pick the location, you pick the time, you pick the outfits down to a tee.
And then you do it only in exchange for a certain amount of photos.
And often with these shoots, I'll give the models some photos, but not as much photos as I would for a paying client.
So that's what I've done for years.
This year I did struggle with a little bit with a newer friend group and something that helps me kind of reset new boundaries and kind of regroup for next year.
Talking with a friend about it, a photographer friend.
I've talked to Marie about it, and she is such a great sounding board for these type of things because she has really great boundaries with, her business and even with the friend groups as well.
And so just kind of getting that confirmation of, okay, you are not the only one, but let's reset, regroup, think about how we can not allow this to happen again.
And the other thing is with framing orders, I had a couple of them want framing design orders, and I'm like, okay, we already did a free shoot, so we're not giving away free artwork.
This is a huge value is that would really hurt my business.
I mean, not free, but even if I were to I, I could see how some people might get wrangled into giving their friends wholesale prices on artwork, and I'm gonna make sure that.
Doesn't happen 'cause they do want some frames and things so something Marie recommended, and I'll have her talk about kind of how she approaches this topic in a second here, is doing either like a 10% off of their artwork order as a friend or like a small.
Discount code, like, and we don't wanna say discount code, but we wanna say, I could give you a hundred dollars credit or $200 credit towards your order if you order X amount of, you know, if you purchase X amount for your frames or your album, and you have kind of a minimum order too to make it worth your time.
Marie, tell us some of the ways that you.
Would suggest people approach working with friend groups who, I think that the thing for me was like, okay, well this is a local mom group who I love and I want them to refer me to other people.
But any end, what ends up happening is, is kind of a.
An avalanche approach of, or an avalanche of people wanting free things like more and more and more.
Whereas if you just set the boundary in a really nice, respectful way, they will actually appreciate your time and your business a lot more.
Right? Yeah, for sure.
The more you give, like the more people start wanting and expecting, and it Yeah.
Yeah, it definitely is a slippery slope because you, once you give to like one friend, then your whole friend group is going to expect it, and the more you give, the more people are going to expect.
I don't know why it is with with photography, but.
People do seem to expect some discount if they're friends with you, and I'm not saying don't give any kind of discount or don't help them out in some way.
What I'm saying is you need to find a solution that is still sustainable A way of giving to them that you are okay with.
And for me, that is a 10% discount on the session.
So whichever, whatever they buy at their orient appointment, 10% discount.
I do have people in my ultra inner inner circle, so I best friends.
Or siblings or you know, sister-in-law I will do a shoot for free with.
And that is my only exception.
But it's really tricky 'cause you need to have a firm line about where that circle begins and ends so that anyone outside that circle, you have this friends and family offer ready to go.
And for me that's the 10%.
So for.
Zach's work colleagues or friends who I'm not super close with or people I might have grown up with, that's where I use that 10% discount.
And I was thinking about this as you were talking.
Amber, my accountant is one of my really good friends and I pay her monthly now.
She does give me a friends and family discount, but like.
am paying her a decent amount every month for her services, and I never even thought about her doing it for free for me when I reached out to her, but she's kind enough to offer me a discount.
But it's, I think it's probably comparable to the discount I give because I'm still paying a good amount for services that I.
for and value, but it's, you know, she's running a sustainable business and so she's can have me as a client while still being able to out a little bit.
Yeah, I don't know what it is about photography.
And what we love about photography is we love giving people the gift of these beautiful photos of their own family.
And I think that we love that so much that when someone we really love.
Asks for it.
It can be.
It can be very difficult, even for me, who has very strong boundaries in a lot of ways in my business.
Even I can get stuck in that people pleasing mode a little bit sometimes.
And I just think it's okay to like say, okay, I'm human.
I let this happen, but it's gonna come back to me in the universe somehow.
That's good karma, but we're not gonna continue to let that happen 'cause it's not sustainable in our business.
And we're gonna think about ways that we can approach it so that we're more prepared next time and it's less awkward and it doesn't feel it.
It doesn't come across cross cold and transactional.
Like, well, I pay a lot, a lot of bills for my business, so you should pay me.
You know, we can't say it like that, even though that's what I'm kind of thinking in my head is like, you don't understand the expenses going on here and the amount of time that goes into.
These shoots as much as I love you and if I won the lottery, I would totally do free sessions for friends all the time, and that's probably all I'd do.
But I, I haven't won the lottery and so I have to make sure I have a sustainable business.
So Marie, I find that you are really great about wording things and typically I I love that there's chat B tea now 'cause it really helps me say things in a more.
Warm, approachable, but professional way.
But what's something, some way you would say it if, say a new, you got into a new mom group or there's some good friends that you're like, I love these women and I think they're gonna refer me to other people, but they're like, can I do a session with you, Marie? Or work is so gorgeous.
What do you say Marie? Yes, so great.
Great question.
Well, one of the first things I do whenever someone's like.
Oh, I would, would love to have you photograph our family.
I sometimes I think people will say that and they like, haven't even seen my work yet.
You know, they just know me outside of photography.
And so one of the first things I say is, oh yeah, check on my website and fill out the contact form if you're interested.
And I can give you a friends and family discount.
And the reason it's important for them to check out my website and fill out the contact form is because, first of all, I want 'em to actually like my work.
Like I know.
Yeah.
me, but I want them to really value my work and my style, then my contact forum basically shares my pricing.
And so they are going to have that first screening and an opportunity to.
To either move forward knowing what my full pricing is, and not really knowing if that family and friend discount is going to them a huge discount or not.
Or they have the opportunity to be like, Ooh, she's outta my price range.
It's okay.
No worries.
that way it's less personal because it's not this awkward conversation.
So they have like they're, they're able to make the decision on their own.
and if they do move forward, then I respond back and oh my gosh, I would love to photograph your family.
I offer 10% family and friends discount that will be applied at the end of your order.
So, and I do have friends and colleagues and associates who, who will go through and I give them that 10% But I think that, yeah, being able to send everything over and or rather have them see what the full pricing is, is important so that they know, and I think they'll like, have a lot more respect for you too.
They're gonna see that you're just, you're a business owner, running a real business, you know? And so it's not Joe Schmo next door with a, with a random camera.
Like, oh, you know, it's different.
This is a many years and a lot of, really expensive equipment and really expensive education and time and just a lot that's gone into make you, making you the photographer that you are.
It's not just someone with a camera.
Yeah, and I think It's easy for me to feel like in the moment like, okay, I need to please these people.
I need to please these people.
Then I try to pause and think about how I'm, I would feel after the fact, like how would Mm-hmm.
about having to photograph them, you know, during busy season when I really don't have time to fit anything else in my schedule or.
Maybe it is during slow season, but I'm getting ready for Christmas with my family, or, oh, I'd have to squeeze them in on a weekend.
I don't typically do weekends.
So thinking about how I would feel if I had said yes, actually significantly helps me just send over the pricing information and say, this is the 10% discount that we'd apply.
Yeah.
that.
That's perfect.
Yeah, just 10% guys.
Are you guys hearing this? 10%.
That's it for the friends discount.
And I totally agree with this because it didn't feel, it didn't feel aligned.
And the other problem is that a lot of the time in our own friend groups, these are not our ideal clients.
You guys, like I said, where I live is, it is a very middle class area where they don't go to designers stores and they don't, you know, it's just a very different group of people who you know, they value nice things, but they might not necessarily value a high-end photographer.
So it's just good to keep, remember that too, that it's not personal that they.
Might not be willing to pay your prices.
They are probably obsessed with your work and love you, but it's not personal and that's okay.
It's okay to say no.
it is not personal at all and.
You know, I was not, I would not have been able to afford my services when I was a teacher if I had reached out to a friend.
And they had these price, the prices, I would've had to say, oh, I'm so sorry.
It's just not my budget.
So it is, it's really not about us or our work, it's, we're not going to be the photographer, everyone.
And that's okay.
And as Amber said, nos can be good things and every no is another.
Yes.
It's going to open that door for a dream client to come in for you to serve.
Yes.
The more nos you say the better because we wanna repel and attract, repel and attract.
So repel the wrong people.
Attract the right people and when we muddy the waters, it's harder to attract that Right.
Ideal client.
And I love that you said that gut check of how you'll feel after the session is, that's a really great tip that I will definitely be thinking about next time is, okay, how am I gonna feel after.
Staying aligned protects your energy and your quality of work.
So you guys, stepping into 2026 is going to be all about intention, clarity, and sustainability.
Boundaries are not limitations.
They are the framework that allows your business and your creativity and your family life to thrive.
Thank you so much for spending time with us today on the Luxe and Legacy Podcast.
We love being part of your journey as you build a luxury photography business that feels aligned and elevated.
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