Latest / INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living / Caring Enough to Confront Msg 1421 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living

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Caring Enough to Confront Msg 1421 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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Speaker 1: In your worship folder. You will find an outline that
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Speaker 1: will guide us through the morning in the message out
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Speaker 1: of Matthew chapter eighteen, And if you will, you can
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Speaker 1: leave it folded and put it at Romans chapter twelve,
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Speaker 1: where we will begin the message shortly. The first I
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Speaker 1: want to read for you these few verses out of
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Speaker 1: Matthew chapter eighteen. We're working our way through the gospel
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Speaker 1: by Matthew, and we have come to a very practical
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Speaker 1: few verses that if you have a read letter edition
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Speaker 1: of the Bible, you'll notice all of these verses are
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Speaker 1: in red, which tell you that tells you that these
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Speaker 1: are the words of Jesus. I say that only because
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Speaker 1: when reading over them, one might think this was written
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Speaker 1: by one of the Apostles, or perhaps one who was
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Speaker 1: a delegate of the Apostles. But these are words directly
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Speaker 1: from the mouth of Jesus, recorded by Matthew. And I'm
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Speaker 1: referring to verses fifteen through twenty in Matthew chapter eighteen.
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Speaker 1: They have to do with confronting someone who has wronged us,
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Speaker 1: someone who has sinned against us. Once you find Matthew
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Speaker 1: eighteen fifteen, please stand with one another for the reading
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Speaker 1: of the scriptures I'm reading from the New Living Translation
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Speaker 1: of This Morning. If another believer sins against you, go
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Speaker 1: privately and point out the offense. If the other person
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Speaker 1: listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.
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Speaker 1: But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others
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Speaker 1: with you and go back again, so that everything you
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Speaker 1: say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If
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Speaker 1: the person still refuses to listen, take your case to
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Speaker 1: the church. Then if he or she won't accept the
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Speaker 1: church's decision, treat that person as a pagan or a
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Speaker 1: corrupt tax collector. I'll tell you the truth. Whatever you
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Speaker 1: forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever
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Speaker 1: you permit on earth will be permitted in I also
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Speaker 1: tell you this, If two of you agree here on
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Speaker 1: earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in Heaven will
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Speaker 1: do it for you. For where two or three gather
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Speaker 1: together as my followers, I am there among them. What
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Speaker 1: is true of all sections of scripture where there can
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Speaker 1: be a misinterpretation, is certainly true of this one. Because
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Speaker 1: churches have gone to extremes, this passage has been used
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Speaker 1: as a basis for their actions, when in fact there
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Speaker 1: was never justification for such and even those who claim
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Speaker 1: that whatever you want from God, if two or three
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Speaker 1: of you agree on it, God's going to give it
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Speaker 1: to you. Based on what we just read, all of
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Speaker 1: that needs to be clarified. Will do that, please have
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Speaker 1: a seed. One of the great things about working your
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Speaker 1: way through the Bible, verse by verse, you come upon
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Speaker 1: sections that could easily be overlooked because they're complicated, or
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Speaker 1: they are contradictory in the minds of people not in
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Speaker 1: the scriptures, or they are complicated and you're able to
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Speaker 1: go through them and explain them. Often the world of
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Speaker 1: the expositor is unenviable in that you can't skip from
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Speaker 1: one to another because there are always a few in
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Speaker 1: the congregation who say, you didn't go over verses fifteen
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Speaker 1: through twenty when we were in Matthew eighteen. So today
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Speaker 1: we will, hopefully we'll come away with an understanding of
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Speaker 1: what Jesus taught Before we pray. I want you to
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Speaker 1: think about someone who has wronged you, but you have
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Speaker 1: not yet forgiven them right now you're holding a grudge.
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Speaker 1: When you think of them, wrong things get into your mind,
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Speaker 1: and as a result, the bridge of a relationship is
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Speaker 1: broken down. You didn't want that to begin with. And
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Speaker 1: now that's what's happened, ask the Lord to open your
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Speaker 1: heart to what might be a better way to handle
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Speaker 1: it than you may have done. On the other hand,
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Speaker 1: you may have handled it correctly and it simply was
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Speaker 1: not to be, and we'll see how to handle that
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Speaker 1: as well. Let's pray together. Thank you Father for addressing
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Speaker 1: life as it is, not so much as we would
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Speaker 1: wish it to be, eat, but as it is. Not
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Speaker 1: only are we dealing with others who are sinful, we
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Speaker 1: ourselves are just as sinful. Not only are others often stubborn,
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Speaker 1: we are often stubborn. And not only do we on
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Speaker 1: occasion find it necessary privately to talk to someone about
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Speaker 1: an offense, there are times when others find it necessary
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Speaker 1: to speak with us about our being offensive. So with
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Speaker 1: the shoe fitting both feet, may we realize you're talking
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Speaker 1: to each one of us and maybe come away with
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Speaker 1: an understanding of direction of how we should go. Remind
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Speaker 1: us of the psalmist words, I will instruct you and
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Speaker 1: teach you, and the way you should go. I will
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Speaker 1: guide you with my eye on you. Do not be stubborn,
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Speaker 1: but be ready to change. Thank you Father that the
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Speaker 1: words of friends are often difficult to hear, but though
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Speaker 1: they wound, they are faithful. They bring about changes that
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Speaker 1: are necessary, finding us a willingness to change when we
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Speaker 1: are confronted with those things that are inappropriate and even inexcusable.
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Speaker 1: Thank you, Father for our model Jesus who went to
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Speaker 1: the cross bearing all of our sins and never once
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Speaker 1: holding back, but giving himself fully on our behalf at
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Speaker 1: the cross, at the cross where we first saw the light.
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Speaker 1: Thank you Lord for your faithfulness to your word. May
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Speaker 1: that be seen again today as truth is set forth,
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Speaker 1: and ultimately as minds are changed and lives as well.
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Speaker 1: Use our gifts, our Father in a special way, as
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Speaker 1: you will use the food that's been prepared to feed
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Speaker 1: the starving children. And remind us that as the money
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Speaker 1: leaves our hands, that it is being used appropriately, It
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Speaker 1: is being handled with integrity and for your greater glory.
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Speaker 1: We commit the offering to you now, as we commit
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Speaker 1: our prayer to you in the name of Christ, our Savior.
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Speaker 1: Everyone said, amen, what do you do when someone ticks
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Speaker 1: you off or RIfS you all? Let me complicate it.
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Speaker 1: What do you do when some Christian takes you all
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Speaker 1: rips you all don't look at me like that. You
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Speaker 1: look like cherubs right now, like who me? It would
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Speaker 1: be interesting to know how many of you right now
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Speaker 1: are bearing a grudge against someone because you have refused
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Speaker 1: to follow the direction of the scriptures in dealing with
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Speaker 1: wrongdoing from another. You see, we take our cues from
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Speaker 1: the world system all the way through life, and then
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Speaker 1: we come to the Cross and we come to Christ
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Speaker 1: and we discover there's a whole new set of directions
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Speaker 1: for us to follow. And the difficulty in following them
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Speaker 1: is we have to unlearned so many of the things
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Speaker 1: that we had well, we had made habits out of before,
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Speaker 1: for example, holding grudges and blaming other people and seeing
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Speaker 1: ourselves as victims rather than simply going working it through,
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Speaker 1: getting past it, building a bridge, and cultivating a continued relationship.
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Speaker 1: That's what caused one wag to write this. To dwell
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Speaker 1: above with saints we love, Oh, that'll be glory. But
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Speaker 1: to live below with saints we know, well, that's another story.
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Speaker 1: It's true. When we're in heaven, we're all justified, glorified,
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Speaker 1: petrified everything's done right, and not petrified. We're all well
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Speaker 1: freed and without usin nature, and life is beautiful from
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Speaker 1: then on, but we're a long ways from there. Well,
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Speaker 1: some of us are a little closer to there than others,
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Speaker 1: but we're all distant from there right now, and so
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Speaker 1: on this earth we have to deal with the fact
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Speaker 1: that there are others who wrong us, and it isn't fair,
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Speaker 1: and the tendency is to see ourselves as victims. I
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Speaker 1: remember back in the nineteen sixties a folks singer named
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Speaker 1: Anna Russell made a little folk song popular. It's got
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Speaker 1: a little humorous a verse to it, but back behind
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Speaker 1: the scenes, when you get to the end, it hits
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Speaker 1: with a punch, she sings. I went to my psychiatrist
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Speaker 1: to be psychoed to find out why I killed the
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Speaker 1: cat in black my husband's eyes. He laid me on
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Speaker 1: a downy couch to see what he could find, and
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Speaker 1: this is what he dredged up from my subconscious mind.
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Speaker 1: When I was one, my mommy hid my Dolly in
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Speaker 1: a trunk, So it follows naturally that I'm always drunk.
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Speaker 1: When I was two, I saw my father kiss the
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Speaker 1: maid one day. That's why I suffer now from kleptominia.
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Speaker 1: When I was three, I felt ambivalence toward my brother's.
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Speaker 1: So it follows naturally I poison all my lovers. And
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Speaker 1: now I'm happy now that I've learned the lesson. This
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Speaker 1: is taught that everything I do that's wrong is someone
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Speaker 1: else's fault. Wrong, everything I do that's wrong is my fault.
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Speaker 1: Now that's not politically correct. That's why I like it.
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Speaker 1: And it's not the kind of information you'll get from
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Speaker 1: the world system, because in the world system, you're taught
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Speaker 1: other people rip you off. So the way you get
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Speaker 1: back is to get even. Never let them off a hook,
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Speaker 1: never forget an offense, and when their name comes up,
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Speaker 1: remember the offense. And then we become converted to Christ,
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Speaker 1: and he shows us a whole new way. But we
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Speaker 1: discover that the new way. Hold on. Now, the new
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Speaker 1: way is not necessarily the easy way. Matter of fact,
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Speaker 1: I've learned in life that the best way is usually
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Speaker 1: the hardest way, at least initially. But before I get there,
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Speaker 1: I want you to look at Romans chapter twelve, beginning
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Speaker 1: at verse. Hold on Romans twelve, beginning at verse and
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Speaker 1: there it is nine. Listen to these little staccatto imperatives.
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Speaker 1: They're little brief commands. Twelve nine don't just pretend to
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Speaker 1: love others, really love them. You know that's the great council.
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Speaker 1: But that's hard. Keep reading, hate what is wrong, hold
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Speaker 1: tightly to what is good. By the way that doesn't
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Speaker 1: come naturally. You grow up loving what's wrong and hating
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Speaker 1: what's good. When the old nature wins its way, that's
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Speaker 1: the way you go. Look at the next verse. Love
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Speaker 1: each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring
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Speaker 1: each other. What great counsel Honoring each other. That includes
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Speaker 1: honoring our children. That includes honoring people we could otherwise
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Speaker 1: take advantage of honoring people who see things differently than
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Speaker 1: we see them. He goes on, Never be lazy, but
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Speaker 1: work hard and serving, and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice
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Speaker 1: in our confident hope, be patient and trouble. Keep on praying.
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Speaker 1: When God's people are in need, be ready to help them.
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Speaker 1: Always be eager to practice hospitality. He isn't through the list,
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Speaker 1: goes on, Bless those who persecute you. Don't curse them.
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Speaker 1: Pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those
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Speaker 1: who are happy, and weep with those who weep. We're
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Speaker 1: better at the latter than we are at the former.
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Speaker 1: By the way, we weep a little more easily than
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Speaker 1: we rejoice with those who rejoice. I've learned. Live in
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Speaker 1: harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy
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Speaker 1: the company of ordinary people, and don't think you know
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Speaker 1: it all. Never pay back evil with more evil. Do
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Speaker 1: things in such a way that everyone can say, can
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Speaker 1: see you are honorable. Do all that you can to
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Speaker 1: live in peace with everyone. Wow. Friends, Never take revenge.
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Speaker 1: Lead that to the righteous anger of God. One after
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Speaker 1: another after another, after another, after another, after another after another.
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Speaker 1: You live like that. Oh, we're talking good night's sleep,
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Speaker 1: night after night. We're talking bridge building relationships. We're talking
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Speaker 1: being the kind of person that's magnetic others can't stay
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Speaker 1: away from you. You'll be living a life that's marked
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Speaker 1: by loving and learning from others, because it's such a
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Speaker 1: healthy life of accountability. You'll observe and you will affirm
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Speaker 1: other people. You'll learn from what they have done or
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Speaker 1: what they have said, and you'll be grateful, and you'll encourage,
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Speaker 1: and you'll you'll even counsel one another, and you'll be
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Speaker 1: grateful for what they tell you. The wisdom that comes
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Speaker 1: from the lips of others. All these things first occur
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Speaker 1: in the home, by the way, as we're growing up.
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Speaker 1: Get this. We grow up and our parents are there
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Speaker 1: to give us counsel to point out this is wrong,
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Speaker 1: that's right, don't do this, do that, and we grow
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Speaker 1: up hearing it year after year, year after year. I
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Speaker 1: remember being so impressed with our older son because from
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Speaker 1: the earliest years he had his own room in this
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Speaker 1: particular home where we lived, and his bed was made
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Speaker 1: every day. I mean, we became a teenager, his bed
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Speaker 1: was made every day. I was so impressed with him.
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Speaker 1: Then one day I opened his closet to get something,
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Speaker 1: and I saw the reason. There was a sleeping bag
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Speaker 1: in his closet that he opened up on the bed
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Speaker 1: every night, and he slept in the sleeping bag and
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Speaker 1: left his bed made. And I said to him, Kurt,
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Speaker 1: you're sleeping a sleeping bag. He said, I know, making
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Speaker 1: up that bed every day is dumb. I just lay
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Speaker 1: out the sleeping bag, and I said, kids can teach
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Speaker 1: you so much. I've suggested that to Cynthia, but she
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Speaker 1: doesn't doesn't like that idea. You learn as you're growing
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Speaker 1: up in the home. Now you get old enough, you
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Speaker 1: don't want your parents to tell you what you should
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Speaker 1: and should not do, and by then you should be
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Speaker 1: responsible enough to do it on your own. You built
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Speaker 1: your own boundaries. Ideally, you've learned what's right and what's wrong. Ideally,
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Speaker 1: and those areas that you've missed. A good friend picks
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Speaker 1: up where they left off. A good friend will tell
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Speaker 1: you the truth and you, I hope you have some
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Speaker 1: friends like that. In fact, right in the margin of
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Speaker 1: your Bible. Proverbs twenty seven six. Proverbs twenty seven six.
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Speaker 1: Faithful are the wounds wou in ds womb of a friend.
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Speaker 1: Faithful are the wounds of a friend. It's a causative stem.
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Speaker 1: In the Hebrew it means faithful or the bruises caused
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Speaker 1: by the wounding of one who loves you. If you
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Speaker 1: don't have a friend who is free to wound you,
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Speaker 1: you don't have a good friend. Now that's not all
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Speaker 1: they do, of course, of course that's not all. But
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Speaker 1: when it needs to be done, they don't hesitate. They
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Speaker 1: do it correctly, They do it privately, they do it
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Speaker 1: lovingly and sometime with tears, but they do it because
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Speaker 1: they're faithful to you as a friend. Hold on, you
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Speaker 1: grow a little older, and you may meet your partner
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Speaker 1: in life and you marry. So now you've got a
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Speaker 1: built in point of counsel. I heard that laugh. You've
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Speaker 1: got a built in husband, built in wife. Part of that.
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Speaker 1: What comes with that is the freedom to tell the
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Speaker 1: truth and a relationationship. That's what it should be, is
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Speaker 1: a truthful relationship. I'm not talking about constant confrontation. I'm
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Speaker 1: talking about essential confrontation. Who else is going to tell you, well, yes,
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Speaker 1: you could go to work and you may have a boss,
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Speaker 1: a leader that points out things, so you have someone
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Speaker 1: there telling you all the way through life, there are
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Speaker 1: those that we confront. Now, all of that is sort
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Speaker 1: of built into a healthy point of accountability, which leads
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Speaker 1: me to say this, an unaccountable life is not worth
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Speaker 1: living because your life is running off the rails. You
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Speaker 1: don't even know it. You don't have enough brains in yourself.
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Speaker 1: And I don't have enough brains in myself to know
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Speaker 1: what I'm getting too near the edge, So I need
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Speaker 1: warnings from friends who love me and who cares for me,
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Speaker 1: from individuals who see I'm going too close to the edge.
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Speaker 1: This needs you need to give attention to this because
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Speaker 1: in healthy relationships where you're accountable. You welcome that. The ideal.
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Speaker 1: Let me add this before we get to Matthew eight
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Speaker 1: is a mentor. One of the reasons we love mentors
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Speaker 1: is that they have the ability to point out those
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Speaker 1: areas in our lives that need attention, and they're blind
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Speaker 1: spots to us. We're not aware that we're doing this
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Speaker 1: or saying this, or that what we're doing or saying
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Speaker 1: makes people uncomfortable. When I'm with an individual who has
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Speaker 1: got those rough edges, I always know he or she
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Speaker 1: has not been mentored. When I'm with one who knows
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Speaker 1: those areas, I know they've been mentored. So faithful are
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Speaker 1: the wounds of a mentor. Hopefully you can look back
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Speaker 1: over your life and name two or three. Even now,
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Speaker 1: I hope you have one or two still has the
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Speaker 1: right to walk into your life talk with you about
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Speaker 1: things that are very personal in private. Handle them sensitively. Now,
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Speaker 1: then we come to Matthew Chapter eighteen. I don't want
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Speaker 1: to forget this, so I want to see it on
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Speaker 1: the front end. Though it's a little bit out of order,
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Speaker 1: carrying out much of this, when it's done correctly, is
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Speaker 1: done with tears. This isn't easily done it is done
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Speaker 1: often with sadness. You're sensitive about bringing this up, but
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Speaker 1: you know it needs to be addressed, and so you
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Speaker 1: can sometimes have to fight back the tears because you
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Speaker 1: feel deeply about it. Now, let's see what Jesus teaches.
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Speaker 1: Here we are in a confrontation situation. A person has
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Speaker 1: wronged you verse fifteen. If another believer sins against you,
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Speaker 1: watch closely. You'll learn exactly what to do. Forget what
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Speaker 1: you were told by the world system. Forget the habits
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Speaker 1: you formed when you were in the military. Forget the
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Speaker 1: way you grew up in the streets and you learn
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Speaker 1: the hard way. Forget the bad habits of when you
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Speaker 1: ran rough shot over people. Listen to what Jesus is teaching.
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Speaker 1: Be willing to follow his leader leading someone sendsing it.
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Speaker 1: Go privately, privately. You don't do it in front of
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Speaker 1: the Bible study group. You don't do it in front
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Speaker 1: of the family. You don't do it with a group
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Speaker 1: of even group of Christians. You go privately, one on one.
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Speaker 1: That's what that means. Go privately and point out the
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Speaker 1: offense meaning what meaning? You specify what it is that
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Speaker 1: hurt you, because you want to make it right. You
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Speaker 1: want there to be a bridge. You want to have
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Speaker 1: a relationship, and because that offense broke down part of
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Speaker 1: that bridge, you want to build it back. So you're
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Speaker 1: coming halfway in your bridge building process. Hopefully your listening
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Speaker 1: friend will build his part or her part back toward you.
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Speaker 1: Look at this, you point out the offense. Watch if
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Speaker 1: the other person listens and confesses it, you have won
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Speaker 1: that person back. There you go. It's a great goal.
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Speaker 1: The ultimate goal is restoration, and you've restored there was
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Speaker 1: a breakdown of communication. You no longer have a reason
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Speaker 1: to hold a grudge. You no longer think less of
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Speaker 1: the person. In fact, you remember with delight the blending
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Speaker 1: and the healing of the wound. Okay, in fact, it
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Speaker 1: says further the other person listens and confesses you have
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Speaker 1: won that person back, but there may not be an
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Speaker 1: acknowledgment from the other side. You've had that happen, so
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Speaker 1: have I What do we do? Then? Jesus tells us,
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Speaker 1: if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you.
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Speaker 1: Take one or two others with you, and go back again,
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Speaker 1: so that everything you say may be confirmed by two
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Speaker 1: or three witnesses. Now we're not teaming up on the person.
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Speaker 1: We're not trying to corner room, but having another two
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Speaker 1: or three people with you verifies the reality of the wrong.
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Speaker 1: Chances are good the person is done wrong to others
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Speaker 1: as well in the same way. So you've got someone
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Speaker 1: there or two or three others. And it's based on
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Speaker 1: Deuteronomy nineteen fifteen, where you take others when you go
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Speaker 1: back and deal with this situation. I like the way
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Speaker 1: one man writes about it. We should immediately put our
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Speaker 1: complaint into words. The worst thing we can do about
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Speaker 1: or wrong is to brood about it. That is fatal.
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Speaker 1: It can poison the whole mind and life until we
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Speaker 1: can think of nothing else but our sense of personal injury.
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Speaker 1: Any such feeling should be brought out into the open
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Speaker 1: faced and stated, and often the very stating of it
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Speaker 1: will show how trivial the whole thing is. If we
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Speaker 1: have a difference with someone, there is only one way
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Speaker 1: to settle it, and that is face to face. Now
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Speaker 1: it may not be successful, Jesus, being a realist, goes further,
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Speaker 1: and now you go with one or two others, and
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Speaker 1: hopefully that person will hear the other two with you,
28:49
Speaker 1: and we'll acknowledge that wrong has been done, but that
28:54
Speaker 1: may not be successful if the person still refuses to listen.
29:00
Speaker 1: Now watch closely. Be careful when you get to passages
29:05
Speaker 1: like this, because you can take it to an extreme.
29:09
Speaker 1: You can make it say some things it's not saying.
29:13
Speaker 1: Let's see what he says. If the person still refuses
29:17
Speaker 1: to listen, take your case to the church. This and
29:24
Speaker 1: Matthew sixteen eighteen are the only two places in all
29:27
Speaker 1: of Matthew where the church is mentioned. The church hasn't
29:31
Speaker 1: even been established yet as a congregation as a body
29:35
Speaker 1: except for synagogues, and that was never called a church.
29:38
Speaker 1: So this would be a representative group of believers in
29:42
Speaker 1: our case within the church, could be the elders. Take
29:47
Speaker 1: this situation to those who represent the church. In other words,
29:52
Speaker 1: we don't bring every offense in front of a congregation,
29:56
Speaker 1: lest we turn the congregation into a courtroom. We'd spend
30:00
Speaker 1: our time doing a little more than solving conflicts. So
30:06
Speaker 1: be reasonable in your interpretation when you take this to
30:10
Speaker 1: the church. I suggest that you take it to some
30:14
Speaker 1: group within the church that's confidential, where it can be
30:18
Speaker 1: handled with wisdom, handled biblically, with compassion, and sadly, there's
30:27
Speaker 1: no delight in this, except in the thought that we
30:30
Speaker 1: may be solving a conflict, but all who are engaged
30:34
Speaker 1: in it are sad about this conflict going on, and
30:38
Speaker 1: they want to see it resolved. And so we read
30:42
Speaker 1: then if he or she still won't accept the church's decision,
30:47
Speaker 1: treat that person as a pagan. Now there are people
30:52
Speaker 1: who will read only that verse and say, that's the
30:55
Speaker 1: reason I want nothing to do with the church, because
30:57
Speaker 1: the Church is nothing but a bunch of judgmental people.
31:01
Speaker 1: That versus been jerked out of context. If you think that,
31:05
Speaker 1: if that's your opinion, it falls in a context of
31:08
Speaker 1: this whole process. You've gone through all of these other places,
31:13
Speaker 1: and now he says, you've come to the place where
31:16
Speaker 1: there is a refusal to acknowledge wrong. Now you're dealing
31:21
Speaker 1: with a rebellious believer who will not accept the reality
31:28
Speaker 1: of an offense. Which is not trivial. It's important enough
31:32
Speaker 1: to bring it before a body within the church. At
31:37
Speaker 1: that point, if there isn't a willingness to submit and
31:40
Speaker 1: repent and be restored, that individual is to be removed
31:47
Speaker 1: from the fellowship and the joy of what the church brings.
31:53
Speaker 1: Paul did this, I should say the church in coriate
31:56
Speaker 1: did this, and Paul states, but is you have not
32:01
Speaker 1: handled it correctly. This man is living with his father's wife,
32:08
Speaker 1: and as a result, you are rejoicing in that you're
32:12
Speaker 1: considering yourselves free, not worried about the memoral lifestyle of
32:17
Speaker 1: that individual. And Paul says, it's not to be handled
32:20
Speaker 1: like that. This person should be dealt with in the
32:23
Speaker 1: way that Jesus describes it. I only hit that lightly
32:26
Speaker 1: because I wanted you to know the seriousness of this situation.
32:30
Speaker 1: If he won't accept the church's decision, treat that person
32:34
Speaker 1: as a payan. And then he adds this, keep it
32:38
Speaker 1: in context. I tell you the truth. Whatever you forbid
32:43
Speaker 1: on earth will be forbidden in heaven. Whatever you permit
32:51
Speaker 1: on earth will be permitted in heaven. It's a very
32:56
Speaker 1: difficult verse to translate. Part of the reason is the
33:01
Speaker 1: particular verbs that are translated will be forbidden and will
33:08
Speaker 1: be permitted more accurately, should be rendered will have been
33:15
Speaker 1: forbidden and will have been permitted, translating a future perfect
33:22
Speaker 1: passive in the verb stem. The idea is not that
33:25
Speaker 1: God is compelled to conform to the Church's decisions, but
33:30
Speaker 1: when the Church follows the Lord's directions. That's Christ's pattern
33:35
Speaker 1: for discipline. It conforms its decision to what God is
33:40
Speaker 1: already determined. God is pleased that we carry out what
33:45
Speaker 1: he has decided. He has forbidden this, and we have
33:50
Speaker 1: determined to do so. He has permitted those things, and
33:54
Speaker 1: we have permitted them as well. And the verses that
33:57
Speaker 1: follow there where he says, I tell you this, if
34:01
Speaker 1: two of you here on earth agree on anything, my
34:05
Speaker 1: Father in Heaven will do it for you. That is
34:08
Speaker 1: an agreement with the whole issue of discipline. And here's
34:13
Speaker 1: the way one man puts it all like the he's
34:15
Speaker 1: described it. When the church acts in God's behalf and
34:20
Speaker 1: in accordance with his word, it matters dealing with sin
34:24
Speaker 1: in the body. God acts in their behalf by confirming
34:29
Speaker 1: and empowering their faithful and difficult decisions and actions. Who
34:35
Speaker 1: desire to please him. He will honor such obedience. And
34:41
Speaker 1: I believe that's what the end of it is saying
34:43
Speaker 1: where he states I am there among you. I am
34:46
Speaker 1: in your midst when you were doing the difficult thing. Now,
34:50
Speaker 1: let me say some practical things and in with a
34:53
Speaker 1: story that I doubt that you will ever forget a
34:57
Speaker 1: true story. First of all, we need to model jesus teachings.
35:03
Speaker 1: If we're going to be a church, we need to
35:06
Speaker 1: do what church people ought to do. That is a
35:09
Speaker 1: body of believers. If you have someone who offends you,
35:14
Speaker 1: the very best thing you can do is privately talk
35:18
Speaker 1: with that individual. Don't broadcast it, don't tell others of it,
35:25
Speaker 1: don't do it in a group. Go privately and make
35:29
Speaker 1: every attempt to make things right. You will be amazed
35:33
Speaker 1: how often that will be enough. There will be an acknowledgment,
35:37
Speaker 1: and the wrong will be confessed, and then there will
35:40
Speaker 1: be the remaking of a relationship and the bridge is
35:46
Speaker 1: built back. Sometime you will find it necessary to take
35:50
Speaker 1: a friend or two with you to help the person
35:53
Speaker 1: realize the seriousness of what you're dealing with. Remember the tears,
35:58
Speaker 1: remember the sadness. None of this is done with delight. Admittedly,
36:06
Speaker 1: we do it out of obedience to what Christ is teaching,
36:10
Speaker 1: and we do it with great sensitivity because we want
36:14
Speaker 1: to do the right thing, the right way, at the
36:18
Speaker 1: right time. Sometimes it is so serious that there must
36:24
Speaker 1: be church discipline, which is followed here in the way
36:28
Speaker 1: Jesus describes it. We follow and we want to do
36:32
Speaker 1: what Jesus Tea is teaching. Let me say secondly, we
36:36
Speaker 1: must guard against extremes. The first extreme is to become
36:42
Speaker 1: too severe as a congregation. When I was younger, as
36:47
Speaker 1: a pastor, I was too severe. That often goes with youth.
36:53
Speaker 1: I saw things in always black or white, right or wrong,
36:59
Speaker 1: good or bad. And as you grow older, you gain
37:02
Speaker 1: some wisdom and you realize there may be more to
37:06
Speaker 1: the story than we have realized there was, and so
37:12
Speaker 1: you are careful to get more of the information. If
37:16
Speaker 1: you are too severe and too demanding and lacking in grace,
37:21
Speaker 1: you will cultivate a legalism among the congregation, and we
37:26
Speaker 1: become a body of severe saints rather than loving, caring saints.
37:34
Speaker 1: On the other hand, we can become a religious country
37:38
Speaker 1: club and anything goes. There's no standard of holiness, there
37:44
Speaker 1: are no biblical boundaries. We're soft on amorality, We're soft
37:49
Speaker 1: on a breakdown in relationships. Any lifestyle is fine. Just
37:55
Speaker 1: keep enlarging the ranks of the church. That's the other
38:00
Speaker 1: Neither extreme is healthy. So I have found that it
38:05
Speaker 1: is ideal when we carry out what Christ is teaching,
38:10
Speaker 1: that we keep in mind the ultimate objectives, and I
38:15
Speaker 1: must have you turn to Galatians chapter six. Please turn
38:21
Speaker 1: verse one, and I will draw from there the ultimate
38:26
Speaker 1: objectives Galatians six'. One dear brothers and, sisters if another
38:32
Speaker 1: believer is overcome by some, sin you or who are,
38:38
Speaker 1: godly should gently and humbly notice the, words gently and
38:46
Speaker 1: humbly help that person back onto the right. Path the
38:52
Speaker 1: goal is to help the person back on the right.
38:55
Speaker 1: Path this is called the ministry of. Restoration the goal
39:02
Speaker 1: is never, disciplined that's the means to the. End the
39:10
Speaker 1: goal is, restoration assisting an individual to deal with the
39:16
Speaker 1: sin that is taking its toll in his or her
39:19
Speaker 1: life and to reach full, recovery helping another person come
39:26
Speaker 1: back to full, productivity doing it with humility and, grace,
39:34
Speaker 1: understanding and as much as, possible. Confidentiality, ultimately our goal
39:42
Speaker 1: as believers is to build into the lives of one,
39:45
Speaker 1: another helping them reach their full potential As god's. CHILDREN
39:53
Speaker 1: i remember talking at linked with stant To saint about
39:56
Speaker 1: much of, this since he has just a few years
39:59
Speaker 1: on me and has a depth of knowledge THAT i.
40:05
Speaker 1: LACK i loved it when he Said i've learned chuck
40:10
Speaker 1: over the years that there are two things that are
40:13
Speaker 1: essential in being a good. Pastor one is to teach
40:18
Speaker 1: the truth, faithfully and second is to love the people.
40:25
Speaker 1: Continually those are great, guidelines AND i remember them even
40:31
Speaker 1: WHEN i have to deal with such things as. This
40:36
Speaker 1: now the story at another, place in another. TIME a
40:46
Speaker 1: number of years, AGO i was serving as a pastor
40:50
Speaker 1: of a, church and it came to our attention as
40:57
Speaker 1: a small group of staff members that an individual had
41:06
Speaker 1: been molesting young. Women my first response, was because of
41:16
Speaker 1: the refutation of the one being, charged that's not possible
41:25
Speaker 1: as a, rumor that's not. True UNTIL i was made
41:32
Speaker 1: aware of more, information and when we checked, further there
41:37
Speaker 1: were more young women who came out into the open
41:41
Speaker 1: who had been afraid to say. Anything some of them
41:43
Speaker 1: had not even told their. Parents and now we were
41:47
Speaker 1: dealing with a full blown issue that had gone on years.
41:54
Speaker 1: Before and now many of these girls were young. Women
41:59
Speaker 1: some of them were now, married and we're having difficulty
42:04
Speaker 1: with intimacy in their own marriage that could be traced
42:13
Speaker 1: back to the molestation that had. Occurred the perpetrator was
42:22
Speaker 1: a man with an enormously famous, reputation known and loved
42:31
Speaker 1: by the church revered in circles beyond the. Church in,
42:37
Speaker 1: fact his name was known virtually around the, world and
42:43
Speaker 1: we realized that to deal with this as we, should
42:49
Speaker 1: we were stepping into some very very complicated. Waters i'm
42:57
Speaker 1: trying to watch my words THAT i say just WHAT
43:00
Speaker 1: i ought to. Say, HOWEVER i kept hearing the young.
43:04
Speaker 1: Women in, fact we met with several who gave us,
43:08
Speaker 1: leads and when we would talk with, them just giving
43:11
Speaker 1: them a simple little story as you think back over your,
43:15
Speaker 1: life do you recall and they instantly would, say, oh
43:18
Speaker 1: you're referring to and every time they would name the
43:21
Speaker 1: same person every, time every. Time so we decided we
43:27
Speaker 1: had no other. Alternative though it certainly was out of
43:32
Speaker 1: character for, us because this man had such a fine
43:36
Speaker 1: reputation for us to confront, this we decided we had
43:40
Speaker 1: no other. Alternative so privately we confronted. It he denied.
43:46
Speaker 1: It we increased the number of people that would go
43:50
Speaker 1: with us so that he would be made aware of,
43:54
Speaker 1: it and he continued to deny. It no other alternative
44:01
Speaker 1: but to bring it to the, elders and, we as
44:04
Speaker 1: a body of elders who had been careful with our
44:07
Speaker 1: homework and put together a number of pages of evidence
44:14
Speaker 1: that we would confront this piece by, piece level by the,
44:19
Speaker 1: level so that he would realize the wrong and we
44:21
Speaker 1: would do our best to help him recover from. This
44:25
Speaker 1: and he denied. It the denial became, severe and the
44:32
Speaker 1: severity of it left us with no, alternatives with no
44:37
Speaker 1: other alternative but to remove. Him i'll never forget when
44:42
Speaker 1: he was ushered, out the screams that, FOLLOWED i won't
44:48
Speaker 1: get any more of. That but we sat there and
44:50
Speaker 1: wept as a body of. Elders we now realized that
44:55
Speaker 1: this would become known and it could not be handled just.
45:00
Speaker 1: Privately the statute of limitations back then was such that
45:06
Speaker 1: we could not be taken to the, courts and so
45:13
Speaker 1: we must deal with it as a body of. Believers
45:16
Speaker 1: AND i told the, men this has to be dealt
45:19
Speaker 1: with Next. Sunday at that point you could almost hear
45:23
Speaker 1: the breaks go, on because some of the men realized
45:27
Speaker 1: this had the makings of a. Lawsuit it could be
45:30
Speaker 1: it could. Backfire it certainly would become known in the
45:34
Speaker 1: town where we were. Located and surely it was so
45:39
Speaker 1: that by The sunday we decided to expose it all by.
45:44
Speaker 1: Name there was a representation of more than one television
45:49
Speaker 1: channel there with their. Cameras there were newspaper reporters. There
45:54
Speaker 1: the place was, packed and it was my unenviable task
46:02
Speaker 1: to carry that message to. Everyone we had set it
46:06
Speaker 1: up very. Carefully we had professionals set aside who would
46:10
Speaker 1: be in certain rooms where different ones could meet once
46:14
Speaker 1: this information was made. Known we surely would have parents
46:18
Speaker 1: who would wonder if their daughter was one who had been,
46:21
Speaker 1: molested and we had this room for them to meet.
46:25
Speaker 1: In if that was one. Category we had others who
46:28
Speaker 1: were just simply disturbed over all of this and they
46:31
Speaker 1: needed to have the time to work through. That we
46:35
Speaker 1: had another room for them to meet in with this
46:37
Speaker 1: particular qualified. Individual had another room to meet with those
46:42
Speaker 1: who knew that the daughter or daughters were victims of this,
46:51
Speaker 1: predator and they met in this. Area by the, way
47:00
Speaker 1: kinds of things have surfaced since. THEN i still meet
47:03
Speaker 1: up with women and husbands and wives who trace back
47:10
Speaker 1: to that. Story we traced it out to sixty four.
47:15
Speaker 1: Women i'm confident there were many more than. That one
47:20
Speaker 1: of these women has begun in ministry to help young
47:24
Speaker 1: ladies be rescued from human. Trafficking as a result of
47:28
Speaker 1: what she's gone through her, life is committed to that
47:32
Speaker 1: very courageous role of helping other young women find a
47:38
Speaker 1: hope beyond where they. ARE i have wonderful news to tell.
47:47
Speaker 1: You not one channel covered the, story not one newspaper included.
47:54
Speaker 1: ANYTHING i had a reporter WHOM i trusted say to,
47:59
Speaker 1: me we have never seen the church handle it like
48:04
Speaker 1: it ought to be handled until we've come across. This
48:08
Speaker 1: AND i give the credit to those around me who
48:11
Speaker 1: had helped give the wisdom. Needed AND i was simply
48:14
Speaker 1: the point man who had to take that responsibility and carry.
48:19
Speaker 1: It BUT i will tell you from having done, THAT
48:23
Speaker 1: i left that whole situation much, wiser much more, broken
48:34
Speaker 1: and much more, realistic BECAUSE i realized now if that
48:40
Speaker 1: man could fall and live in such a denial all
48:45
Speaker 1: those years that, long hurting that many precious young, women
48:51
Speaker 1: the STORIES i could tell would break your. Heart anyone.
48:57
Speaker 1: Could and in light of, that the Way jesus teaches
49:04
Speaker 1: is the best information we could. Follow, now that's an
49:08
Speaker 1: extreme and very dramatic true, story BUT i wanted you
49:14
Speaker 1: to hear an example of when you carry it all the.
49:16
Speaker 1: Way by the, way the man was never, incarcerated should have,
49:23
Speaker 1: been but never. WAS i understand that it did in
49:28
Speaker 1: some way get into a court, setting BUT i don't
49:31
Speaker 1: know what the result. Was, fully we had done what
49:34
Speaker 1: we should have done as a, church and we went
49:36
Speaker 1: on and the result was only strength and health and
49:41
Speaker 1: a more integrator commitment to protecting those in our church
49:46
Speaker 1: from individuals like. This if there's one place where people
49:51
Speaker 1: should be, protected it's the local. Church there's one place
49:56
Speaker 1: where we should stand for purity and respect for one
50:03
Speaker 1: another is the. Church and there's one place where there
50:08
Speaker 1: is no respector of, persons it should be the. Church
50:14
Speaker 1: we are to be a body that represents this to
50:17
Speaker 1: a community that's always watching and always expecting us to
50:23
Speaker 1: handle things wrongly, unfortunately and we should surprise them by
50:30
Speaker 1: handling things. Correctly and when we do, that it will
50:34
Speaker 1: never be the easy way to handle. IT i. REPEAT
50:39
Speaker 1: i don't know how many came To christ as a
50:41
Speaker 1: result of this. EVENT i don't know how many ministries
50:45
Speaker 1: grew out of. It but just this MORNING i met
50:49
Speaker 1: down front an individual who mentioned to me a person
50:54
Speaker 1: who could be traced back to that story in the
50:57
Speaker 1: life of that woman that he had met AND i
51:00
Speaker 1: know this That god honors it when we do what is,
51:05
Speaker 1: right when we carry it. Out. REGARDLESS i say all
51:11
Speaker 1: of that to come back to you and to. Me
51:17
Speaker 1: it all begins with our going one on one as
51:25
Speaker 1: sad and as, sorrowful and as difficult as it may,
51:29
Speaker 1: be it's necessary because the alternative is to live with
51:37
Speaker 1: the anchors that we drag through, life anchors of resentment
51:46
Speaker 1: and blame and. Grudges and you will discover when you
51:53
Speaker 1: go through this as you, should just like it was,
51:57
Speaker 1: Described god honors, it and he will magnificently bless you
52:04
Speaker 1: for it with peace and, harmony and we will be
52:11
Speaker 1: truly a church a. Church thank, You father for your
52:23
Speaker 1: faithfulness through the. Years thank you for honoring your word
52:29
Speaker 1: when we simply believe. It thank you for giving direction
52:35
Speaker 1: when we and our flesh would run away from the hard.
52:38
Speaker 1: Thing and thank you for carrying it to the extreme
52:44
Speaker 1: ultimately of changing lives as they realize they are loved
52:49
Speaker 1: and protected by those who Follow. Christ bless in a
52:56
Speaker 1: very special way this, message and maybe all care enough
53:02
Speaker 1: to confront, lovingly, gently, carefully, graciously and when, possible privately
53:13
Speaker 1: for the glory Of, jesus in whose, name we, pray
53:18
Speaker 1: everyone Said.
53:21
Speaker 2: Amen the preceding, message caring enough To, confront was copyrighted
53:29
Speaker 2: in twenty seventeen and twenty twenty, one and the sound
53:32
Speaker 2: recording was copyrighted in twenty twenty one By CHARLES. R, Swindall.
53:36
Speaker 2: Inc all rights are reserved. Worldwide duplication of copyrighted material
53:42
Speaker 2: for commercial use is strictly prohibited