Latest / Create The Best Me / MENOPAUSE vs Hot Flashes What's Really Going On

Transcript

MENOPAUSE vs Hot Flashes What's Really Going On · Create The Best Me

• 0:06
  Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night convinced that your bed turned into a sauna, only to realize it's just you.
• 0:15
  Trust me, I've been there.
• 0:16
  Well get excited because today I'm chatting with Carin, the founder of Hot Or Is It Just Me.
• 0:24
  And she's here to show us that perimenopause and menopause aren't the end of the party, they're just a start of something new.
• 0:31
  Stick around because by the end of this episode, you'll learn simple ways to trade those late night sweats for solid, refreshing, snooze, ready to dive in.
• 0:43
  Carin Welcome to Create The Best Me.
• 0:47
  This is an honor to have you on the show.
• 0:50
  Oh, Hi Carmen, it's so great to be here with you.
• 0:53
  So before we begin to talk about what we are going to talk about, could you please tell us a little bit about yourself, your background, and then is it Hot Or Just Me?
• 1:09
  Oh, thank you for that.
• 1:10
  I am, I I call this my third active life.
• 1:12
  I'm 47, I've I've had the benefit of having a few careers and, businesses before.
• 1:18
  So, my first one was I was a graphic designer and creative director for almost 17 years.
• 1:24
  And I worked for major media companies.
• 1:26
  And then Silicon Valley tech startups here in California.
• 1:29
  And I found myself a little disenchanted after, after so long of staring at computer screens, designing things so that other people could stare at their screens all day long.
• 1:37
  And I knew that's not what I wanted to leave behind in this world as my legacy.
• 1:41
  So, I was going through a divorce at that time as well.
• 1:45
  And so it really shook up my identity and who I was without this person and where I was unhappy.
• 1:50
  And I realized I was finding happiness over sharing a glass of whiskey with people.
• 1:55
  I would sit down and go slow and have these moments of connection, and I thought that's what I want to leave behind.
• 2:00
  And so I decided to start a Scotch whiskey brand.
• 2:04
  And it's called Sia, and that made me the first woman in history to ever create a Scotch whiskey brand and the first Hispanic person to do so as well.
• 2:11
  And the brand grew to success and eventually was acquired.
• 2:15
  And I found myself with a little extra time on my hands, while my kids are in school, lots of horsepower left and, you know, gas in the tank.
• 2:23
  So I said, what's my, what's my third act going to be?
• 2:25
  And it was around my early forties when, it was this question that I kept asking myself and pretty much everyone around me, is it Hot Or Is It Just Me?
• 2:35
  And so that led me to realize first that it was mostly just me and also that I was deep into perimenopause.
• 2:42
  And I had other symptoms that followed like brain fog, anxiety, hair loss, all kinds of stuff.
• 2:48
  And my doctors really weren't so helpful.
• 2:51
  And HRT wasn't quite an option for me yet.
• 2:54
  So I started surrounding myself with these incredible products and services that have really made a big difference in my life and the people around me.
• 3:01
  So I decided to start Hot Or Just Me, which is a resource for women in perimenopause and menopause to find the products and solutions that they need.
• 3:08
  And you know, I think that's so inspiring and I say it's inspiring because people look at someone like you.
• 3:15
  You are beautiful.
• 3:17
  You look young and here you are talking about perimenopause and menopause.
• 3:24
  Which is something that people are like, what the heck she talking about that?
• 3:27
  She's too young.
• 3:30
  Oh, gosh, no, I mean, the reality is it can happen for women in their late 30s.
• 3:34
  It could be triggered by, you know, any kind of cancer treatments, um, health reasons.
• 3:39
  And so perimenopause can begin at any age and last for anywhere from three to 10 years of a woman's life.
• 3:47
  um-hum, Yeah and I don't know if you experienced this like I did because I started to feel menopause symptoms or Hot Or Is It Just Me type of symptoms and maybe crying my head and at stupid stuff.
• 4:02
  I Would go to the doctor and they're like you're fine Yeah, It's so frustrating.
• 4:09
  So in my research, I found that most doctors in the United States only get three hours of menopause training in their careers, their residency.
• 4:18
  And so unless they have taken an extra level of education or certification from menopause.org, in fact I send people to menopause.org quite a bit to look for a practitioner that has extra levels of certification.
• 4:30
  You know, for the most part, they're just treating these individual symptoms versus taking a step back and saying, oh, how old are you?
• 4:36
  What other symptoms are you having?
• 4:38
  You are in perimenopause.
• 4:40
  I went to the first doctor with, you know, issues of just, like, you know, moodiness and sadness, and he was trying to give me some, depression medicines for SSRIs.
• 4:48
  And I thought like, wait, this is a little too much.
• 4:51
  And then the same thing where I was having trouble sleeping and waking up in the middle of the night and sweating.
• 4:55
  And he said, oh, well, let's give you some Xanax.
• 4:57
  It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, like too much.
• 4:59
  So, you know, eventually I decided, okay, this is probably not the right doctor for me.
• 5:04
  And then eventually found a woman doctor who was older, who had been through menopause and who was still practicing.
• 5:09
  And that's kind of the hard part too, is to find, the doctor that has, chosen this beyond delivering babies as an OBGYN to choose menopause and perimenopause specifically.
• 5:18
  So it's a little bit of trial and error to find the right person.
• 5:21
  Yeah, and also I like for myself, I don't like to take drugs.
• 5:26
  And so I kind of went through the same thing where they wanted to give me anxiety medication or depression medication.
• 5:32
  And I'm like, hold on, did I say I suffer of anxiety or depression?
• 5:38
  Why are you giving me this?
• 5:40
  And they would explain, well, studies have shown that women do benefit from this.
• 5:46
  I'm like, but wait a minute, I do not want to take something if I don't really have that problem.
• 5:51
  Exactly.
• 5:52
  Yeah, yeah.
• 5:52
  And I think that that's something that we need to learn a little bit more is to be able to push back on our doctors for, you know, why are you prescribing this or, hey, you know, how familiar are you with menopause and perimenopause?
• 6:04
  Are you the right person in your practice?
• 6:06
  Maybe there's someone else that you can refer me to.
• 6:08
  Yeah.
• 6:09
  So tell me, what is the common misconception that women go through or young women go through when they think about or hear the word menopause or perimenopause?
• 6:20
  Yeah, yeah.
• 6:21
  I think first that perimenopause is just not spoken out enough, right?
• 6:25
  This is definitely something that, you know, growing up, my mom never talked about.
• 6:29
  You know, we celebrate as a culture, puberty, right?
• 6:32
  When kids, come of age, oh you've become a man or you've become a woman and there's no celebration on the other side right for all of journeys.
• 6:40
  And then, yeah, I think that, also just understanding the terms, right?
• 6:44
  So menopause is the day, it's just, it's the one day that you haven't had your period for 12 months and then everything after that is postmenopausal.
• 6:51
  So it's not like, menopause lasts 10 years.
• 6:54
  It's really just that one, one day and then postmenopause.
• 6:56
  And perimenopause is all of the years leading up to it where your estrogen declines, your hormones are influx and you get all of these wild symptoms.
• 7:05
  I think another misconception is it's just hot flashes.
• 7:08
  But really it's regular periods, it's night sweats, insomnia, vaginal dryness, and low libido.
• 7:14
  There's irritability or menorage as people call it these days.
• 7:18
  You know, you get muscle and joint aches.
• 7:20
  There's, weight gain and brain fog.
• 7:23
  And then, you know, later on you could add on urinary incontinence and frequency, having to go to the bathroom constantly.
• 7:29
  Issues with bone density and your heart as well.
• 7:32
  So there's just so many symptoms that are just beyond what people think is just, oh, it's just hot flashes.
• 7:38
  And hair loss, hair.
• 7:39
  I think it's funny.
• 7:40
  You start to lose the hair on your head, and somehow it's like getting stuck on your chin or your It just moves to weird, weird places.
• 7:47
  Like, how did that come over?
• 7:49
  And so fast too.
• 7:50
  You're just like looking in the mirror, you're like, where did that come from?
• 7:52
  But yeah, it was just like, you know, when you might be like in a bathroom that has that overhead fluorescent lighting, you're just like looking at these spaces that weren't there before like where's this coming from?
• 8:02
  And it's interesting, so, you know, men go through a version of menopause called andropause.
• 8:07
  So, you know, we talk about like hair loss in men a lot, but it's also, you know, there's this decline in testosterone.
• 8:13
  And so, you know, as our sex hormones are declining, so are theirs.
• 8:16
  And I had this mistake of calling it my husband's midlife crisis and that was insensitive, right?
• 8:21
  But realizing like, oh no, it's like a decline, he's going through the same thing I am.
• 8:24
  And we have similar, issues, right?
• 8:26
  Like hair loss or might be like harder to like lose the weight in the middle.
• 8:30
  You've got brain fog.
• 8:32
  There's, anxiety that comes up and there's, sexual dysfunction that happens at that age.
• 8:36
  So it's no surprise that there's a lot of divorce that happens around this age.
• 8:41
  But knowing that it is a shared universal experience.
• 8:44
  Yeah, my husband and I, we always joke about it.
• 8:46
  We call his manopause.
• 8:48
  He's going through manopause and I'm postmenopause.
• 8:52
  Yeah, yeah, it's funny.
• 8:54
  Like I throw in I've got the the puberty hormones in my house.
• 8:57
  So between all of us, it's just a hormone house.
• 9:01
  We're in the same boat, because like I mentioned to you, I have a 12-year-old and my because my husband and I are older in age, we're above 50.
• 9:07
  Hormone hurricane.
• 9:10
  Totally.
• 9:11
  But yeah, I mean, it opens it up for conversations that aren't, let's say critical, right?
• 9:15
  Of saying like, hey, here's what I'm feeling.
• 9:16
  Or are you noticing this, you know, with what's happening for you.
• 9:20
  And it could be a discussion of how we find common ground instead of, you know, picking each other apart.
• 9:24
  It could be very much of like, oh, you know, this is my hormones.
• 9:27
  Sorry, that was my hormones talking, like walk that back, you know?
• 9:31
  So yeah, just with sympathy, you know, compassion, listening ear and just, you know, shared vocabulary.
• 9:38
  So tell me, before you started, Is It Hot Or Just Me, did you, do a peer review kind of like with your girlfriends that were traveling that same path with you or have been further along the path than you?
• 9:51
  Oh yeah, big time.
• 9:52
  We call it girlfriend medicine.
• 9:53
  So, you know, you've got your group of friends and you're always asking like, are you getting this?
• 9:57
  Is this normal?
• 9:58
  Has this happened to you?
• 9:59
  And then, you have some older friends that are kind of like the wise ones, right?
• 10:01
  They'll tell you what's ahead.
• 10:03
  Here's what to expect.
• 10:05
  And then, you know, I've had some friends that are are survivors of breast cancer and they've have an accelerated menopause.
• 10:09
  So they, they kind of really tell you like it is, because it happens so fast for them.
• 10:14
  And then, yeah, I've just sort of, testing a bunch of different products.
• 10:17
  So for example, we have, some wearable fans on our site and I've ordered maybe about 40 different fans through the years and tried them all out.
• 10:25
  I know I'm like, okay, this one's too loud or this one's too heavy, or this one catches your hair a little bit, or this one makes you sweat too much.
• 10:32
  So just like really trying like, okay, knowing that the products that I have on the site are very well curated and for the most part are women owned or operated because I try to support women owned businesses wherever I can.
• 10:44
  Yeah.
• 10:44
  I know that one of the big challenges for me going through, you know, I'm postmenopausal again, but I still have symptoms.
• 10:51
  I have a lot of symptoms, was sleeping at night.
• 10:55
  Because I'm like, soaked and wet.
• 10:57
  And so finding the right pajamas or complaining about, I feel like the sheets, like, you know, today the sheet works, tomorrow the sheet does not work.
• 11:06
  Mm hmm, yeah.
• 11:08
  So I have some ideas for you and your listeners that might be suffering from the same.
• 11:12
  So I have a big perspective on sleep.
• 11:14
  I think sleep is the key unlock to most symptoms, right?
• 11:17
  So if you think about it, you have a bad night's sleep.
• 11:19
  What does that mean?
• 11:20
  That means the next morning you're groggy, you've got brain fog, you're irritable, you've got like bad concentration issues, so you're not focused at work.
• 11:27
  You know, you've got a little bit more like, you know, irritability, and then you make bad food decisions, right?
• 11:32
  So your diet is impacted because you're tired and you don't go to the gym.
• 11:36
  And then, it gets to the point where you're with your loved one and it's time to like, you know, get it on and you're not in the mood because you're exhausted.
• 11:42
  So it affects so much.
• 11:44
  And so if you kind of walk it all backward and say, what can I do, to have the best sleep so that my symptoms are, you know, decreased or maybe not even there at all.
• 11:52
  So a couple of things, I have tips on the website as well as products, but one thing that I have found that's made a big difference is taking magnesium, but taking it at night.
• 12:00
  So it has a calming effect and if you take it at night, your body will absorb it versus if you take it in the morning, by the time you go to sleep, it's kind of gone.
• 12:07
  And then I'd tell people to change your exercise routine if you're kind of like an afternoon exerciser, maybe try to change it to be a morning exerciser.
• 12:16
  And then same thing, another morning change, which was really hard for me, but cutting out caffeine.
• 12:20
  Or just having the one cup in the morning and cutting out any kind of afternoon stimulants like coffee.
• 12:26
  And, um, it's kind of funny being someone who was in the liquor industry for 10 years.
• 12:30
  I was telling people to drink and now I'm telling people maybe drink a little bit less.
• 12:36
  Or you know, maybe drink during the daytime or not as much close to bedtime because it does affect your, your sleep cycle.
• 12:42
  You'll wake up around two in the morning and your liver's processing that sugar or the alcohols.
• 12:47
  And then, you know, coupled with any anxiety or other insomnia issues, it's just harder to go back to sleep.
• 12:53
  And then other things about like, you know, you think about your room and what you're wearing.
• 12:58
  So in terms of your, your bedding, we have a collection of temperature regulating pillowcases.
• 13:03
  We have some cooling performance sheets from Lusomé.
• 13:07
  Um, we also have a variety of, uh, cooling blankets.
• 13:10
  And we also have sleepwear.
• 13:11
  So different nighties and different styles.
• 13:14
  I personally prefer one that has the whole open back so I get as much skin contact onto the sheets.
• 13:19
  And then eye masks.
• 13:20
  So we have some that block out all the light and then we have some other cooling ones.
• 13:24
  I keep a cold glass of water next to the bed as well.
• 13:26
  And then, if you have a partner like I do who snores, getting, some really good earplugs is also important or blackout curtains as well to block out the light.
• 13:35
  So all of these things, right, to just kind of pull it together.
• 13:38
  And oh, and this is the last one it's like unpopular, but it's basically turning off your devices when you go to sleep.
• 13:45
  And, you know, I've been guilty of it, like, just one last email or just check this thing.
• 13:49
  So I've kind of turned on to listening to a podcast or an audio book at night, that way I'm not looking at the screen.
• 13:55
  Or if you're old school, just You know, read a book instead, but definitely having that kind of wind down to, to train your body that you're sleeping.
• 14:03
  And if you do wake up in the middle of the night, there is this one, app or audio that I love called Yoga Nidra, and it's just really calming.
• 14:11
  It's a guided meditation to help relax your body, you know, top to bottom.
• 14:15
  That's good.
• 14:17
  And the reason I say that's good is because what I've noticed, because I always like to, it's almost like I'm talking to myself.
• 14:23
  I always ask myself, Why is this happening?
• 14:26
  What are you doing?
• 14:27
  And so recently I've been asking myself, do you have a little unknown anxiety?
• 14:34
  And what can you do to you know, reduce some of that anxiety?
• 14:39
  hmm.
• 14:40
  Yeah, yeah.
• 14:41
  I've, later in life, so I was never someone who meditated a lot.
• 14:44
  I always thought I was doing it wrong and growing up, in a Latina household, like we never talked about meditation.
• 14:50
  But it was very much something that I discovered later in life and I always thought, oh, everyone's meditating.
• 14:55
  I should do that.
• 14:56
  And then I would try, but then, you know, the chatter in your head, like I'm doing it wrong or it's not quiet enough.
• 15:01
  Or, oh, I'm thinking about this, so, how do I get back?
• 15:04
  And then I discovered something called''Transcendental Meditation'', and it's made a huge difference in my life, where a lot of it is just knowing that there is no wrong way to meditate, right?
• 15:13
  That the thoughts that come up is your mind processing the stress and letting it go, and it can, you know, it has a place there and then it can leave.
• 15:20
  And so just sort of really learning, acceptance around my meditation practice and making time for it.
• 15:26
  So just scheduling it in the calendar and having those 20 minutes every day.
• 15:30
  It's really, changed things, when I do have those moments of anxiety.
• 15:34
  And then, yeah, I've had moments where I've even had a panic attack.
• 15:37
  This happened later in life where I was like, what is this?
• 15:40
  My heart was racing and I was sweating and I was like, I don't understand.
• 15:43
  Am I having a heart attack?
• 15:44
  Like I was freaking out.
• 15:46
  And then in hindsight, I realized, okay, I looked up, you know, all the things and sure enough, I was dehydrated.
• 15:51
  I hadn't slept well the night before.
• 15:53
  I was seeing something that had a lot of like visual stimulus.
• 15:56
  And so it was like strobe effect light.
• 15:59
  And I thought like, oh my gosh, I've just induced myself into a panic attack.
• 16:02
  So now when I feel my heart racing again, like I recognize it, I do some box breathing.
• 16:08
  I try to like, you know, look at like a plain white wall or just something that like has taken me out of whatever situation is causing that.
• 16:16
  But yeah, just trying to even just call out the feelings, like with my kids, especially when they're like getting me frustrated, I'll be like, hey, I'm getting frustrated.
• 16:24
  I was just saying like, you know, like you're driving me nuts or, you know, or just screaming or something.
• 16:29
  Just really just naming the feeling out loud has been really helpful.
• 16:33
  Because this is something that I always, it's something I learned through life is that guard your words.
• 16:41
  Guard your words because you can fix things.
• 16:43
  You break a vase, you can replace it.
• 16:45
  But the things that come outta here to those people that you love, I'm so sorry, you can say sorry till, till the forever.
• 16:55
  Yeah.
• 16:56
  It still hurts.
• 16:57
  It hurts who you said those things to.
• 17:00
  And being a woman who's in perimenopause, menopause, or postmenopause.
• 17:05
  I think we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and listen guard whatever is going to be the first thing to come out of here because you're going to hurt somebody Yeah.
• 17:18
  You know, there is, let me see if I can just find it real quick cause it's, it's really great.
• 17:22
  It's a quote from Victor Frankl, and the quote is, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." And I just thought that's so amazing of just like, when you just have that minute of reflection in between what's going on and how you're going to react is like a world of possibility.
• 17:47
  I mean, cause that's what I've always told my husband when we first got married.
• 17:51
  I said, you know, you have to remember I'm your wife.
• 17:53
  I'm the person you chose that you're going to spend the rest of your life with.
• 17:56
  You made that commitment, and so if you want to continue to nourish this relationship, there's going to be times where you're going to get upset, I'm going to get upset, but we have to think very carefully as to what is coming out of our mouth.
• 18:12
  Because sorries, flowers, gifts, it won't soothe that, you know, you can't fix that.
• 18:19
  Yeah, and how we, how we make a request or how we ask for something.
• 18:23
  Because we all hear so many criticisms all day long and the criticisms is the beginning of, of the end, right?
• 18:29
  We did, my husband and I, while we were having some issues, we looked up, and did a course called the Gottman Institute and it was fantastic.
• 18:36
  And they figured out, the success rate of marriage is by like 99 percent.
• 18:40
  And it was based on how many appreciations you give for every criticism.
• 18:44
  And so the magic number is 20 to 1.
• 18:47
  So you have to offset, I know it's crazy, you know, how many things are kind of deposits in the emotional bank account that like make you feel okay when something is critical and you can let that go because you've been appreciated so many times and so important to do it both ways, right?
• 19:03
  And then, in the morning having these moments of connection when you leave for the day, when you return and before bed, like things that you appreciate about the person and not just what they did, but their characteristic in doing that.
• 19:17
  And I think this is something that is pretty common, especially, you know, you and I are kind of in the same cycle where we're married to somebody who is also going through their transition.
• 19:29
  And lot of times people tend to struggle with libido.
• 19:34
  Do you have products that will help people connect with their partner or spouse?
• 19:41
  I do.
• 19:42
  So, funny enough, we also have tips on that as well.
• 19:44
  I try to balance it out with just, you know, some, non-products and also products.
• 19:49
  So on the site we do have moisturizers, both water-based and oil-based.
• 19:54
  We have vibrators as well.
• 19:56
  And then a collection of tips in terms of pelvic floor exercises, uh, to increase blood flow and enhance your sexual function.
• 20:03
  You know, it's important to stay hydrated and keep your inside of your body healthy and your tissues moisturized.
• 20:09
  And then this is one that I share quite a bit.
• 20:11
  So, the program I just, discussed, the Gottman Institute, they also make an app and the app is called, Love Dex, I believe.
• 20:18
  And there are questions that you can ask each other.
• 20:21
  And you know, I always say the mind is the most important sexual organ, right?
• 20:25
  And if you can have that connection with your partner and sometimes you're like, oh, all we talk about is the kids.
• 20:29
  Or all we talk about is work.
• 20:30
  You know, so this is, it's really beautiful because they're, conversation starters that are, you know, about your dreams and your goals and your interests and your passions.
• 20:38
  And then they have a series called the, the salsa deck, right?
• 20:42
  And so it's, uh, mild, medium, and spicy questions that you can ask your partner.
• 20:47
  And you know, that way you can just start to understand each other again, because you know, who we are has changed over time.
• 20:52
  What, what turns us on has changed.
• 20:54
  And then there's 2 other apps that I listed on the site, they are audio erotica apps.
• 21:00
  So, I have a hard time around, watching any kind of visual porn or anything like that, because I feel, you know, uncomfortable.
• 21:08
  Or I feel like, oh, I can't, my body doesn't look like that.
• 21:10
  Or I, you know, I can't do what she's doing.
• 21:14
  And so for me, what's really beautiful about these audio stories is that, you know, there's some self pleasuring, versions, but there's also some stories.
• 21:22
  And I might not be in the mood, but I'll be like, well, let's just put on a story and hear it.
• 21:26
  And then like, eventually, like you kind of get excited.
• 21:29
  And so what's beautiful about it is it's your imagination and it's what's happening in your mind and what you think this person looks like in the fantasy versus what you're seeing on a screen.
• 21:39
  And then, you know, it kind of gets your mind out of the way because sometimes I think, you know, you think, oh, I'm too tired or, oh, you know, I don't feel clean or I don't really want to.
• 21:49
  And so, you know, if you just get your mind out of it for a second and just let yourself go into a story, you're like, well, all I'm doing is listening to a story.
• 21:56
  There's no big commit here.
• 21:57
  And then, you know, nine times out of 10, you kind of get in the mood.
• 22:00
  So I really like those.
• 22:01
  Yeah Or Carin, it might be because you and I came from a Hispanic household and when you come from a Hispanic household, when those type of scenes, when you were a child, they came up, you better turn your head.
• 22:12
  Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 22:14
  I don't even know if I was ever allowed to see an R rated movie until I was like, you know.
• 22:18
  And, I went to like a private Catholic high school.
• 22:20
  So it was like, you know, the blinders on your whole life.
• 22:23
  And so all of a sudden you like, I think almost swing the other way and have like a sexual awakening when you're in college or post college.
• 22:31
  Yeah.
• 22:33
  And, what kind of new products do you think you're going to be bringing in the future?
• 22:37
  Oh, thank you for asking.
• 22:38
  So, because we were just starting out, I wanted to make sure that there was an interest in the business before I kind of went too far.
• 22:44
  So the categories that we launched with were hot flashes and night sweats, vaginal dryness and low libido, insomnia and fatigue, hair and skin changes, and we have a bookstore and gift shop.
• 22:54
  And then we also have bundles.
• 22:56
  So I put, products together based on you know, like, keep it spicy or the stay cool and calm, or welcome to the club that has, you know, some books and a gift card and whatnot.
• 23:06
  And so with time, over the next few months, I'll be launching some more categories.
• 23:11
  So anxiety, mood changes and irritability, urinary incontinence, brain fog and concentration and irregular and heavy periods.
• 23:20
  I have a question to ask you.
• 23:21
  So when you started putting your, products together, did you consult with any of your friends to say, hey, what, what would you think about this or that?
• 23:30
  Oh yeah, yeah.
• 23:31
  And continue to, and also customers and get recommendations from everyone, right?
• 23:35
  Like, and so there's definitely things that come up more and more.
• 23:38
  And if I've heard about it a few times, then I'll look into it.
• 23:41
  And then what's been really interesting too, is because it's a community of entrepreneurs that are in the health and wellness and menopause and perimenopause space, we all kind of know each other now.
• 23:51
  There's a collective of about a hundred of us that have different products and services, and we have a monthly meeting.
• 23:56
  And then you know we have referred other business and other products to each other because someone may have done, you know, a campaign, a social media event, something in person with another brand.
• 24:07
  And so it's almost, all by way of referrals, it's been really beautiful to see how it opens up.
• 24:12
  And yeah, it's just women supporting women.
• 24:14
  So it's been, it's been great.
• 24:16
  And on the same vein right now, I'm trying to figure out how can I create this as a brand that gives back?
• 24:20
  So with Sia, my previous business, I had a hard time raising money as a female entrepreneur and Hispanic.
• 24:27
  And so, you know, there's money that goes to a lot of venture capital, but not so much for small businesses.
• 24:33
  And so I realized I wanted the brand to be something that gives back.
• 24:36
  And so every year I'd tally up how much I could afford to give to minority entrepreneurs.
• 24:41
  So the first year was like a hundred dollars and the second year was like two hundred dollars.
• 24:45
  And then as the brand grew and grew, I set up a grant program and eventually, we were able to give a quarter of a million dollars in the form of grants to small business owners.
• 24:54
  So ten thousand dollar grants, no loans attached, just, you know, money to help start and launch your businesses.
• 24:59
  And then I also mentored, 35 entrepreneurs for six months each, where I was able to help them with resources and advice and support.
• 25:07
  And then they would build communities amongst themselves.
• 25:09
  So it was really beautiful.
• 25:11
  And so when I started Hot or Just Me, I wanted to do the same.
• 25:14
  And so my goal is to give a portion of our sales to period.org, which helps give menstrual products to young girls.
• 25:21
  And this helps them primarily to focus on their education so that their periods don't get in the way of them going to school or the money being a barrier for them to get what they need.
• 25:31
  And then on the other side of the spectrum, as we age, menopause in the workplace is an initiative I want to dedicate time and resources to as well.
• 25:39
  Yeah, and I think that that's very important, the period.com because I think we take for granted how expensive those products can be when you don't have money.
• 25:50
  And on the other end, you know, on how many women actually leave the workforce because menopause gets in the way or perimenopause gets in the way.
• 26:00
  Yeah, and I mean, everything from, you know, there's enough like, aging stigma for women in the workplace.
• 26:05
  I see it in tech a lot, which is so unfortunate because we have so much experience and wisdom and gravitas to bring to businesses that gets overlooked.
• 26:13
  So there's that, but then also even from, you know, having the right, the right setup for your workplace.
• 26:19
  So maybe it's temperature regulating areas for your hot flashes.
• 26:23
  Maybe it's, if you're a uniform job, something that's a little bit more breathable or layered so that you're not affected by your hot flashes.
• 26:29
  Or just like a safe space to like take a break when you need it, when you're having anxiety or just, you know, having some of that, those mood changes that come along with this time.
• 26:38
  Yeah.
• 26:40
  So you have a special offer for our viewers I do.
• 26:44
  Is that correct?
• 26:45
  Yes, yes.
• 26:46
  So, 10 percent off for your listeners, if they go to the website listed in your show notes, they'll be eligible for 10 percent off of their order, using the discount code Carmen.
• 26:56
  So C A R M E N.
• 26:59
  You are so sweet.
• 27:00
  That is so generous.
• 27:02
  Cause it gives people the opportunity to try your products and maybe sign up for some of your bundles.
• 27:08
  Yeah.
• 27:08
  Thank you so much.
• 27:09
  I really appreciate it.
• 27:11
  So, Carin, based on the conversation that we had here today, what is one piece of advice that you would like to give the listener or the viewer so that they know they're not walking alone in this journey?
• 27:24
  Yeah, yeah.
• 27:25
  I would say the biggest takeaway is to your point, what you just said is that you are not alone.
• 27:30
  We are all having a universal experience.
• 27:34
  All women will go through this in some way, shape or form.
• 27:37
  And knowing that, you know, is this normal?
• 27:39
  Is this only happening to me?
• 27:41
  What's wrong with me?
• 27:42
  What's happening?
• 27:43
  It's that, that you're not alone.
• 27:44
  There's a community, there's resources, there's your friends, there's your doctor and to find and push back till you find that right team of doctor support, to guide you through this process.
• 27:54
  And I read a quote recently that, aging is a privilege, that not everyone gets to be old.
• 28:00
  And I thought that was so beautiful.
• 28:02
  And so that's definitely stayed with me for a while.
• 28:04
  That's something I always tell anyone who's older than me that says, oh, you don't want to get old.
• 28:09
  I'm like, no, I do want to get old.
• 28:11
  That's a privilege because not everybody gets the opportunity to get old.
• 28:16
  Yeah, and to have these experiences in life, you know, our families, our friendships, our children, our careers, you know, our passions, our faith.
• 28:24
  Like everything that drives us.
• 28:26
  And so to be able to spend even one more second doing it is so important.
• 28:32
  Carin, this has been a pleasure.
• 28:34
  Thank you so much for coming on the show.
• 28:36
  I will include all of your information in our show notes so that people can take advantage of your 10 percent off.
• 28:44
  Oh, thank you so much.
• 28:45
  All right.
• 28:45
  Thank you.
• 28:47
  All right, friends, I hope you're feeling cooler and a whole lot more optimistic about this midlife transition.
• 28:54
  Remember that middle of the night sauna scenario I mentioned.
• 28:58
  Now you know, it's not just you, there are real tools and products to help you turn those night sweats into restful nights.
• 29:07
  If you're going through perimenopause or are in menopause, or know someone who is, you can take advantage of Carin's 10% offer.
• 29:18
  Head on to the link in the show notes or visit Createthebestme.com/ep107.
• 29:27
  But don't forget, subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and join me again next week for another amazing episode, created just for you.
• 29:38
  Until then, keep dreaming big.
• 29:41
  Take care of yourself.
• 29:42
  And remember, you are beautiful, strong, and capable of creating the best version of yourself.
• 29:51
  Thank you for watching.
• 29:52
  Catch you next week.
• 29:53
  Bye for now.