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Acting Career Lessons: What 45 Years in Hollywood Taught Me · Lydia Nicole's Acting Smarter Now Podcast

• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Friend of mine.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it got me to thinking, first of all, I knew this gentleman for almost as long as I've been in California, about 45 years.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And to see the legacy that he left.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: He he was an actor who became an acting teacher and had the most amazing students, studied with um studied with some of the best teachers, and then he stepped out on his own and started teaching, opened up his studio, and just did great stuff.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And at the funeral, there were over 200 students, current former students, and it was so beautiful.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it got me to thinking, I met him when I was 19 years old, and we were young and we were just excited about being actors and being in Hollywood and show business.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember all the pain and all the, you know, you take everything so serious and it's life and death.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: You go on an audition and it doesn't go your way and you're ready to die.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just wanted to share some stuff that I thought, you know what?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: If if it were to happen that I were to go back to visit my 19-year-old self for just an hour, what are some of the things that I would tell her?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the first thing I would say is be curious.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Be curious about everything.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Be excited about everything.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Don't worry about anything.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Trust the process.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: That is one of the big things that I would say to her.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Trust the process, Lydia.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Trust that you are in the right acting classes with the right teachers, and they are taking good care of you.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, um, when you're young, everything is so major and you know, and it's a catastrophe if it doesn't go your way.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And to understand that life isn't about it going our way all the time, it is about adventure.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now that I'm, you know, in my sixth decade, what I think about is what is the adventure that I'm going on today?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Not, oh my God, it's another horrible day.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's always an adventure.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, something I learned in my early 50s was, you know what?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've never been here before.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: No matter what I'm doing, it's the first time.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm acting, if I'm doing, I may have the skill set, but when I'm on stage or when I'm in front of the camera, it is the very first time.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that is something that I would tell my 19-year-old self, girl, you are in for such a treat.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Don't take everything so serious, just enjoy the process.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if if I were to say stuff to my 19-year-old self about friendships and relationships, I would say, collect people that bring you joy.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: That when you're around them, you are productive, you are creative, you just feel um euphoric almost.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Without drugs, you feel euphoric.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: There are people that you get in their company and you feel so good about yourself because they feel good about themselves.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say that to my my 19-year-old, and I would say, stay away from the haters, those people that say they're your friends, and they're really judging you, they're making you feel bad, they are uh treating you less than, you know, I have a thing.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Be where you are celebrated and not where you are tolerated.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing I would say to my 19-year-old self is not every idea is a God idea, that just because it's a good idea doesn't mean it's a god idea.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: And to be careful about who you collaborate with.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: You want to make sure that you are on the right, um, that you guys have uh the same vision because otherwise it will get you in so much trouble.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I would say to young lady.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: I would say, girl, you are smart, you are gifted, you have so much going for you.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Stop feeling like you need to be with this posse or this group or this community in order to be somebody.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: You are more than enough.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: That is what I would say to my younger self.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: You are more than enough.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you um, so that is something, and I was just thinking about this, you know, to say to my younger self, we're in it for the long haul.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a sprint, it is a marathon.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the people that you meet, embrace them, honor them, um, celebrate them.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And if they're people that you do not feel comfortable with, do not try to force it.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Move away, step away from the platform, Lydia.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Step away from the platform.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: That is what I would tell myself at 19.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: To not feel like I have to make everybody my friend, but just show up, do my job, know that I'm doing great work, and be happy to just be um doing what I love to do.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, as actors, sometimes we think that we have to um we have to accommodate everybody.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say be a team player, but don't compromise your integrity, don't compromise your um your belief system, don't compromise who you are to make somebody else feel better.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, stand your ground, um, speak truth to power in a loving way, but don't stay somewhere where it's uncomfortable.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the big thing is, I would say to Lydia, Lydia, trust God more.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: He got you this far, he's not gonna let you go, he's gonna take you where you need to go.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So just trust that he has you.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And just because someone has a title in Hollywood or they made a they were the lead in a movie does not mean they are your friend and they're gonna do anything for you.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Do not go around chasing that dangling carrot that is really dried up and old and uh has no nutritional value.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: That is what I would say to myself at 19.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, watching uh my friend uh John Kirby's funeral, and and he was an extraordinary man, grew into an extraordinary man, I should say, because when we were when we were in our late teens, uh, you know, we were wacky.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: We we were all wacky, but he evolved into such a loving, kind, generous, giving man.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: And to be at that memorial for him and see how he touched so many people, it it really um it hit me in a in a in an incredible way of that is what we're here for.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're here to touch lives, to change lives for the better, you know, to make people feel good about themselves.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and that is what I would tell my young 19-year-old self, Lydia.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, do not beat anybody up, just be kind with your words, don't hurt them, uh, don't fight them, don't defend yourself like you're back in Spanish Harlem, but just trust that your path is right in front of you and keep walking your path, keep doing what you do.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to defend yourself to anyone, and that's what I would say to you as you are going through your journey.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a young actor, if you're just starting your walk, or you're, you know, you've been doing it for three, four years.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a sprint, it is a long haul, and and you're gonna have ups and downs, you're gonna have wins and losses.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Don't lose sight of yourself.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Stay the course.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know that you are a winner.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we because we are in in uh we're in jalopy vehicles.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you know that word, jalopy.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's an old rundown car.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're in old rundown cars, and we're expecting that this car is gonna go accelerate to 80 miles to get us where we need to go.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, we need to get out of that vehicle and get into a car that is gonna coast and and can, if you hit the gas, it's gonna go 80, 90.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Don't break the don't break the speed limit.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes, you know, you're driving out there, you're just driving.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: You want to be in a vehicle that is safe and it's gonna get you where you're going.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, as actors, we get in these vehicles that are not operable, they do not work, they do not do anything for us.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, and then we we think it's us, we think we're the problem.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, you know, we we sign with agents or managers because we think we have to, nobody else is gonna do uh nobody else is going to um sign us, so we just go with whoever.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I would tell my 19-year-old self don't beg anybody to sign you.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: You want to be with the right agent, right representatives.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want to be in places where you're fighting with the agent to submit you for stuff that you know you're right for.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, you want to find an agency that knows what it is that you sell because you know what you sell, and they're going to support you and they're gonna submit you, and you're going to uh go out there and crush it.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: So that is what I would tell my 19-year-old self.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I did a lot of great things at 19 and 20 and on and on and on, but if I had to talk to myself who had just arrived to Hollywood, um I would say you can put you can put the hammer, the knife, and the gun away, girl.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need it.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Just trust the process and trust that you are capable of so much.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: You you have so many gifts in you.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so if I can share anything with you, I want to share with you that you are capable, you have these gifts in you, and maybe you just need to um um work on them to bring them out to the surface, but don't let anybody make you feel less than, don't make anybody make you feel like you don't matter, you you know, you're not talented, you don't have what it takes, you're too this, you're too that.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you're you have a deficit because you don't.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: You as an actor are incredible as who you are, and if you don't know that, you need to be in a class where they recognize your individuality and they pull from you the best of you instead of trying to make you a cookie cutter, but just pull from you what is the best in you.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to share with you what I would have shared with my 19-year-old.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Be the best you you can be.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Trust that process, trust the acting class.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you're in an acting class and they're giving you good stuff, trust that process.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it takes time for us to evolve as really exceptional artists because we have to learn so many different things, like how to listen to the other actors that are worrying about our lines.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, how many lines do I have?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know early on I would count my lines.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to count your lines, whether you have three lines, five lines, 125 lines.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Just give that character humanity, give that character something that is gonna separate you from every other actor who's going up for that part.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Give it the best you got.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Come in and and be um be fully immersed, bring a hundred percent to the table all the time.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do your best, don't phone it in, but do your best and and live your best and and be generous with your art and be careful not to um uh treat people as friends right away.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Get to know them, let them show you who they are first so you don't get entangled.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: That that's another thing I would say to myself.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Don't rush to be everybody's friend.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let them show you that they are worthy of your friendship.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because not everybody's worthy of our friendship.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and something I learned being on set early on is that when you're on set, you develop a false sense of security because you're on you may be in a film or on a project where you're you're there for weeks at a time, sometimes months at a time, and these people that are on the set, you become the closest to because you're there so many hours a day, and you you think, oh my God, this is my new best friend.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then when the project is over, that friendship is over.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: They don't even remember you sometimes, or when you're out of that environment, you get to go, I don't know that I really like this person.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: So um take your time, take your time to develop that friendship.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, having peer relationships is very different from having a real solid friendship.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: I can say that I've been very blessed in that I did make some amazing friends, amazing friends.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have friends that I that I met early on in acting class or early on in acting communities and that I'm still friends with, but I've also met people that, you know, I thought they were going to be a friend for life, and they were just a friend for a season or a friend for a reason.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's another thing to understand the different types of friends.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we get somebody who comes in our life for a reason, sometimes we get people who come in our lives for a season, and sometimes we get long life friends.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: But one day at a time, take it one day at a time, enjoy the day, trust what you're doing, trust who you are, trust, and if you don't know who you are, start meditating, start asking questions.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I?
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I here?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: We all have come here for a purpose, you know.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: I I I knew at a young age that part of my being here, part of being alive, was just to encourage people through my art to encourage people to keep going.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew that at an early age, and I do that every day.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: That is that is part of my who am I to encourage.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, so I was just thinking about what I would say to my 19-year-old self if you know, if I was in one of those movies, I got to go back in time and say, Lydia, let me tell you, let me school you.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I watch a lot of Korean uh shows, and I what I love, I love the sick the rom-coms, and I love those little fantasies where they get to go back and all that stuff.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I have learned uh that you know, we don't get to go back, but what can we do today, now that we know?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: How can we move forward?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: And how can we share with people we love that may have not uh gotten to the place we are right now?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: How can we shine a light on in their path to help them move forward?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: So just wanted you to think about that, to um chew on it.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: I hope it helps you.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're an actor who is seeking a community, if you're seeking uh a group of people who are about doing something with their career and making a difference, I encourage you to come and join us at ActingSmarter Circle.com.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Come join us.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: We meet every Monday night, 6 30 LA time on Zoom.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: We meet for two hours and we have so much fun.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: It is it um it's about being practical, it's also about uh, you know, dreaming your biggest dream, and then starting to write down how you can get there.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things sometimes in Hollywood is that people want to crush your dreams.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in Acting Smarter Circle, we want to see your dream come to life.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are an actor and you want that kind of support and you want strategy, join us at actingsmartercircle.com.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: We are here for you.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: We meet Monday nights, 6:30 LA time, and um it's a great, great community, and the people in it are fantastic.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: We all, you know, um I'll say this thing about my friend John Kirby.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: I met him in a community, in an acting community.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was called Actors Rapping Together, and it was about 20 of us.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: None of us were the same types, and and the woman who had put it together designed it that way so that nobody felt weird, um, which is great.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: It and we so many great people came out of that circle, so many great people uh became very successful, um, and to be able to see their success over time.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: We had actors who became showrunners and actors who became directors and actors who became producers and actors who started doing big films um and TV shows.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so everybody in the group worked, was a working actor.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: And part of the part of the the give back in this group, um, actors rapping together was that you had to bring a um you had to bring something to share with the group.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: So you couldn't come and just take, take, take, take.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: You had to bring something.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: You had to share.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was a photographer that you had headshots taken with, and how you like them, and how much they charge, or maybe it was where you got your pictures reproduced, or uh you went and you went to meet an agent and you heard that they needed some other actors, and you shared that with the group.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was all about giving.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: The group was about giving, and it made us all better because we had to come bringing stuff to the group.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And if you came two times to the group back to back, and you did not have a tip for the group, you were asked to leave.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: You could not stay.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, I you know that is how I was raised as an actor that you give, you, you, you know, you give, you support, you help, and that is what we do at actingsmartercircle.com.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: So just wanted to share my thoughts with you today.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Wish you a fantastic rest of your day, and I look forward to hearing from you.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know in the um comments if this spoke to you, if it registered for you, if if you're an elder, an elder actor, OG, as I like to call you, or if you're a young actor just starting out.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, what are your thoughts?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is there, did it provoke something in you?
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Did it stir something up in you?
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to know.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: I wish you a fantastic, awesome rest of your day.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: And don't forget, if you're an actor and you want that support, come to acting smartercircle.com.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: See ya.