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Criminals of Isla Numus - Episode 4 - When Rocks Cry Out · Session Zero Heroes | TTRPG Actual Play Adventures & Improv Storytelling

0:00
Hello weary
0:11
Traveler, I'm not sure what strange magic
0:14
must have brought you here, but you have stepped into a
0:17
realm of my creation, a sprawling
0:20
city filled with danger and glory and most
0:22
importantly, lots of gold.
0:25
Out.
0:25
I call it Ilanumis. Who am
0:28
I, you might ask? M. The name is Jargon,
0:31
and I'm the patron deity of gambling.
0:34
Long story short, this group of
0:37
idiots, or as you may call them, heroes,
0:40
made a bet with me that they had what it took to make a mass
0:43
trove of gold, but left some of the key
0:46
details blank. So I fill them in
0:49
myself. I send them to this pocket
0:51
dimension, into the city I had created
0:54
with brand new bodies they'd have to attune
0:57
to. Can these fools pass my test?
1:00
Or will they be trapped, uh, here forever?
1:02
So, experience, um, my world of trials
1:05
and tribulations and join alongside this
1:08
posse of pitiful people, or as I like to
1:11
call them, the criminals of Isla
1:14
Numis.
1:16
Welcome back to another episode of the, uh,
1:19
Criminals of Numis. Isla
1:22
Numis. Uh, first try,
1:25
last.
1:26
I got it.
1:26
First time. Last time twice. This time,
1:29
we'll get there. We'll get used to it. It'll be. No.
1:32
Uh, once again, I'm Skyler. I'm the DM.
1:35
I don't even think I mentioned myself last time.
1:38
Cameron, uh, to my left is the one rolling the dice. It's really
1:41
annoying. It probably comes through on the audio. No,
1:44
Cameron, uh, give us a quick plug for your
1:47
player because we still have something figured out for our little, like,
1:49
intro bit. Uh, my player's named
1:52
Roric. He was a dwarf
1:55
barbarian. Now he is a goblin rogue.
1:58
A goblin rogue. What a switch up. Moving, uh,
2:01
on to Fatty Tumpkins.
2:05
Another thing that I'm going to get right on the first try eventually.
2:08
Uh, Fatty, what is your character?
2:11
That's right. That's not his character. That's what
2:14
we're allowed to call him. That's what we've
2:17
received. That's what the judge said we can call. That's
2:20
right. Yes, exactly. Do all the
2:23
above. I, uh, will be playing the character
2:26
Keto, who was
2:29
a
2:31
druid, a dwelf druid. He was an Elvish
2:34
druid that has been swapped, uh,
2:37
or turned into a
2:40
cobalt fighter.
2:42
Fighter. And I'm excited to see that. Get
2:45
used some fighting. Get done.
2:48
Me, too. Especially for
2:51
McCobal. That's right. That'll be interesting. All right,
2:54
Jackson. Um, I'm
2:56
Jackson. I play a character, Des,
2:59
uh, who was a
3:02
Triton fighter, turned. Um,
3:06
I'm already blanking on what they're called. I keep wanting to say Eric Cockra,
3:09
but it's Kenku. But it's turned Kenku.
3:12
Ranger. Ranger. Awesome. Very cool.
3:15
Another thing that'll be kind of interesting to see, especially when
3:18
you get your.
3:21
Subclass.
3:21
Oh, you'll get it, and I'm sure you'll get. I'm pretty greedy
3:24
when it comes to spending money.
3:27
Uh, next up, we got Quinn. Quinn, the only character
3:30
that doesn't have a previous identity.
3:33
Quinn. Who the heck are you?
3:35
Feather McGregor, aka lil sauce.
3:38
Uh, little sauce. And he is also a Kenku.
3:41
And he's also a narc, apparently.
3:43
Yeah, we found out last episode he's.
3:45
A little bit of a narc.
3:46
He's a bit of a nerd.
3:47
Am I a.
3:50
Literally undercover cop is the definition of
3:53
Narc. He turned in his.
3:59
One more thing, he's going to get kicked off the horse. Maybe that's what
4:01
happens. That would be spoilers.
4:05
I don't know. Next up, uh, we got Dave.
4:08
Dave here playing Maki,
4:11
a monk, rogue, arcane
4:14
Trickster who's now in the body of a Kinku
4:17
sorcerer. Maybe he'll discover
4:20
some of his magic powers. This episode.
4:23
We want those magics. Can't wait to see those
4:25
again. I'm Skyler. I am the DM M
4:28
for this campaign, this podcast, this series.
4:31
I am not playing a character unless you
4:34
count every NPC. And
4:37
let's just dive right in.
4:45
All right, guys, so, last time, if you
4:48
remember, uh, you have been approached by an interesting
4:51
and questionable individual who referred to himself
4:54
as the Slicer. The Slicer
4:57
wants to work with you. Uh,
4:59
unfortunately for you, Feather McGregor has
5:02
some reservations about this individual, uh,
5:05
who he knows to be a known criminal in this
5:08
area, something that you guys wouldn't necessarily have known about if
5:11
you didn't have him along to tell you about it. Uh,
5:14
while Feather McGregor was a little bit distracted,
5:17
uh, off talking to his. Well,
5:20
actually, as far as you guys kNow, he was off to go get
5:23
the rock that you guys had left behind that jar.
5:25
Jim, the deity that trapped you here in these bodies
5:28
had given you to allow you to ask him one
5:31
question per day
5:34
that he would be, happily to give a yes or no
5:37
or whatever, the best he could give you answer
5:40
to, um, whatever it may be.
5:43
And he was off to go get that. So you guys chatted with the slicer,
5:46
and the slicer gave you a little bit of a job to do.
5:49
Uh, he kind of tested you guys first by expecting you guys
5:52
to steal something. You, uh, guys more or
5:55
less proved that I suppose. Um, but
5:58
I digress. He definitely was, uh, happy to work with
6:01
you guys, based on your results. And now he's got another
6:04
job that he wants to meet up with you in a dark
6:06
alleyway this afternoon, um, for a little bit of
6:09
a trade off job that he wants to
6:12
go south, and he wants to end, uh, up leaving with
6:15
all the goodies to split between all of you. So
6:18
that's where you guys left off. Uh, as you guys are standing there
6:21
in the square, the slicer kind of making his way
6:24
back to wherever he came from, disappearing into the
6:27
crowds, feather McGregor approaches your group.
6:30
Actually, he doesn't have the stone in his hand. He has it in his pocket. You guys
6:33
don't know that, but whatever the case, he approaches you all.
6:36
Uh, yeah, guys, I found,
6:39
uh, your little talkie walkie
6:41
jockey phone, whatever you're calling it,
6:44
Rock. Just a
6:47
rock. It's literally just a rock. Like, I picked
6:49
it up, I shook it. Nothing. I dropped it. Nothing. I
6:52
kicked it. Nothing. I said, hello, nothing.
6:57
It's, ah, just a ride. I figured I'm going to throw it.
7:01
Okay.
7:01
You throw it over to Rourick.
7:03
Rourick catches it,
7:05
lets it hit the ground, picks it up.
7:08
I don't know. I mean, my apple.
7:11
Okay.
7:11
I see him toss it towards me, eating the apple.
7:14
Uh, I'm fighting through it, actually, at this point.
7:17
It's like a couple of bites. He was doing it as a
7:20
bit, and now he's just kind of like, I got to, uh, finish this.
7:23
I stole it. I should probably eat it. Uh, he tosses
7:26
him the rock, and he sees this as a great opportunity to ditch
7:29
this apple. So he tosses the apple to him.
7:32
Okay.
7:34
And he also drops the rock, and it
7:37
falls at his feet, and he goes.
7:41
So they're still doing, huh?
7:46
Just gotta talk. Ah, sweet to
7:49
it.
7:50
Here, give it to Maki. All right, you
7:53
pick up the Rocky. Hand it over to Maki.
7:55
Hey, there, little guy. It's okay. Maki's
7:58
got you now. And I stroke the rock.
8:02
Uh, Jar.
8:05
Jim. Yes.
8:09
You hear a deep voice call out to you, and
8:12
you guys all hear it. Everybody in your little group
8:15
here hears it. You all look around, and nobody else
8:17
seems to notice. They all just are
8:20
walking. You do notice
8:22
I almost dropped the rock.
8:25
Darled by the voice. Just come out of the,
8:29
uh. Didn't. As far as Feather
8:32
McGregor knows. And you ask this, but, uh,
8:35
just so you know, Feather McGregor didn't exactly hear it
8:38
coming directly from the rock. It kind of felt like it just came
8:41
from. Yeah, kind of like above heard a voice talking
8:44
to him, but it's a fair assumption that he would know. Did that
8:47
come from the Rock?
8:48
Well, it didn't come from me or Des. I swear.
8:52
Des. I'm, um, shaking my
8:55
head.
8:56
It was him, wasn't it? He doesn't ever speak. He spoke
8:59
him.
8:59
So we can ask this guy, this
9:02
rock, this oldest guy through the rock,
9:05
one question a day.
9:07
That's important.
9:08
Now, let's see. What question do we want?
9:11
Let's cook up some good questions, and we'll take a vote on what the best one
9:13
is. First of all, my main one is, what kind of meats does the
9:16
slicer slice? That is my main question. I want to
9:19
ask. I want
9:22
to know.
9:24
I don't really have input to this because I'm just so
9:26
confused on what's going on.
9:28
That's fair. What do you think? I will grab the Rock.
9:30
Okay. Look into it, and I just say, do you
9:33
know who I am?
9:38
You hear a voice respond, yes,
9:41
I do know who you are. Wait. He can
9:44
only say yes or no? But that
9:47
wasn't the question. Well, he
9:50
says he will answer yes or no or to the best of
9:53
his ability, but he's also like, I don't know. He's
9:55
kind of having fun with you guys. He wants us ask us some actual.
9:59
He probably heard a little more.
10:01
Rourke making one ask
10:04
about the ham. The slicing question. And then when he's
10:07
like, here's that, he's like, I want to answer that. I want to answer the slicing
10:10
question. Come on, give it back to him.
10:13
I shrug. I'm, like,
10:15
gesturing towards the rock, like, yeah, it works. You got
10:18
any good ideas, Maki? Good questions?
10:21
Yeah, we could ask who's got the cheapest
10:24
booze in town. That's a good one.
10:26
Keto. Do you got any good ideas? Questions? How
10:29
do we get out of here? You already told us
10:32
that. Maybe the answers changed.
10:37
I wonder if that would cost. That's a dumb
10:39
question, Keto. Why would it
10:42
change? He put us here with one
10:45
condition. Get a million gold. And then he
10:47
just changes. Maybe he felt bad. Maybe it's like, 200
10:50
now. Uh, maybe there's a flash
10:53
sale. There's a flash
10:56
sale. They only. If you can give me 200,000
10:58
gold, I'll let you out. Is there a sale coming
11:01
up?
11:03
Well, he mentioned something about the different things
11:06
we could use our gold for. Yeah,
11:11
obviously we can buy stuff, but I don't know.
11:13
I can't remember. Well, he said something about
11:17
abilities, uh.
11:18
Or something increasing your abilities. And
11:21
skills, something to that effect. Oh, like the
11:24
potions?
11:25
Could be. Also, I'm
11:27
wondering where these bodies even came
11:30
from. Like, you think about were they
11:33
here before, uh, or did he
11:36
create them just for us?
11:39
Everyone within the pocket dimension just a clay.
11:42
Humongous. Have we checked our
11:45
underwear for our names yet?
11:47
Well, you know, I thought I felt some
11:50
lumps when that guard was patting me down.
11:53
Not in my underwear,
11:56
just on my person. And I
11:58
checked my person to see what kind of equipment I even
12:01
have on me.
12:02
All right. Yeah, I'm going to check, uh, Rourke's going
12:05
to check his body as well, to see if he can find anything
12:08
with, like, a name tag on it.
12:10
Okay.
12:13
Yeah, actually.
12:14
Sure.
12:15
Well, we're in an alleyway, but yeah, first take
12:18
off. You're not in an alleyway, but you could
12:20
be if you want it. You are taking off my
12:23
shirt, looking at the back of it.
12:27
No, uh, names there. I'm looking through my. Sure, sure.
12:30
Maki's looking for any sort of
12:32
wallet or ID or
12:35
anything, like.
12:38
Mean. You have your character sheet in front of you. And to be
12:41
fair, this is the first time that you've kind of had your bearings to some
12:44
extent and had the time to sort of check over yourself since you guys
12:47
got here. I mean, do you want to tell us a little bit about what
12:50
kind of stuff, um, your new
12:53
body has equipped on it?
12:56
Uh, yes. So Maki, he's wearing
12:59
like, a sort of
13:02
greenish robe, a dark
13:04
greenish robe, and he's got, like, the
13:07
standard daggered dagger on his
13:10
hip, on his belt. He finds
13:13
that there's like a crossbow that's been slung on
13:16
his back this whole time.
13:19
He's got the standard equipment like the ammunition.
13:22
And he had those ink and paper that he
13:25
pulled out before he
13:28
goes through some side pockets and finds he has some
13:31
thieves tools. He has another
13:33
dagger hidden away somewhere.
13:36
Um, he has, like, traps.
13:39
He's like, whoa, what are these for?
13:43
Like, hunting traps?
13:44
Okay.
13:45
Um, then he finds some trinkets,
13:48
a monocle, some, uh, sort of white
13:51
tile, a
13:54
raven button.
13:57
I think it's like a
13:59
brooch almost. And it's kind of got like a.
14:02
Raven, uh, character
14:04
attached to his robe.
14:06
Yeah. What I'll say is you
14:08
find a faded
14:11
badge of some kind. It's made
14:14
of a bronze material. It has what looks
14:17
like a gem in it. But as you tap it,
14:20
um, it's not hard to tell that it's actually just a glass thing.
14:22
And on the back of it, it says the character name
14:25
that you have on your character sheet.
14:27
Wow, look at this. I got some sort
14:30
of badge here. I rub
14:33
off. There's a little dirt on the name. I rub it
14:36
off. It's like Quill Smith.
14:39
Quill Smith.
14:40
Wait. I mean, this body has a name,
14:43
huh?
14:44
Hey, Keto
14:46
Daz, check your body. See if you've got any name tags or something
14:49
on you. I'll start patting myself
14:52
down. Yeah. And as you do, uh, you
14:55
do find a very similar looking
14:58
little badge, same material. It has
15:01
the glass. Uh, the only difference is, uh,
15:04
so Maki has the glass, sort
15:07
of fake faux gemstone or whatever. Inside of
15:09
it is green,
15:12
whereas, Dez, yours
15:15
is red. M. But,
15:18
uh, it does have a name on it as
15:21
well. If you wanted to share that, that's up to
15:24
you. I physically cannot share that information.
15:26
Oh, yeAh.
15:27
That's true.
15:29
I don't have a button for that one. That's right. All right. Fair
15:32
enough. He could show us. Yeah, he could show you.
15:35
Yeah. I'll take a look at his name badge.
15:38
Or. What is it? Fog the badge. Yeah, with
15:41
the. And then just show it, all of
15:43
you. Like a toddler holding up a. Yep.
15:47
Oh, hey, you got one.
15:50
Say, you'll have hearsay.
15:53
Uh. Holy cow, that's a long one.
15:56
No, Rourke, you can't read it.
15:58
Wingbert. Feather bottom.
16:01
Wingbert. Feather bottom.
16:07
His name's got Feather bottom in it.
16:11
Keto, are you checking your person? I will look at
16:14
my badge and try pronounce
16:17
it. Ichtheoglycer. Uh,
16:20
skin. I can't pronounce that. You can just call me
16:23
Theo. That was honestly pretty good, actually.
16:26
That was pretty spot on, as much as
16:29
I feel. All right, so you've got one. Yours is
16:32
a, uh. Which colors? I said yours
16:35
was green. Green. Red. Yours is red. Yours
16:38
is a yellow.
16:39
Uh. Are we the Power Rangers?
16:42
Yeah.
16:43
Megazord. I have one. Yes, you do.
16:45
Rourick. You also find one on your person,
16:48
of course, a badge. Um, and it also has a name on
16:51
it. I don't know if any of the rest of you
16:54
are looking through your equipment, per se,
16:57
like what you carry on your person. It's totally up to you, if you want.
17:00
What color is it? Uh, it is a pale blue
17:02
color is your stone or faux
17:05
stone that's inside of it. And it's got my name on it?
17:08
Yes. Oh, it says here my name's
17:11
Fizzle Fingers. Fizzle fingers.
17:14
I also got one of these, and I pull out a
17:16
loot that was on my back
17:19
this whole time.
17:21
Oh, hey.
17:22
So apparently the past
17:25
me used to play one of these bad
17:28
boys. Cool.
17:29
Can you play anything now?
17:32
I'll try. Do a
17:34
performance check. I'm going to wiggle my fingers
17:38
above the loop. And, uh,
17:40
then I
17:42
rolled a 19 for
17:45
performance. Wow. Sure enough, you start to play
17:48
a very smooth melody off of your, uh, off
17:51
your loot. And while I do,
17:54
like, little shocks of lightning go shooting
17:57
up and down the chords of the strings as I'm
17:59
playing, it's like a little lightning as my fingers play all
18:02
the strings? Yes, absolutely. And
18:05
as you do this, um,
18:09
just a couple of people stop by, hopefully my
18:12
Shirt, and they seem still on. I think your shirt
18:15
is still off. Well,
18:18
that by itself is fine. It's a little bit
18:21
more acceptable. And, uh, a couple of people
18:24
stop by, and they, uh, cheer a little bit, they clap a little
18:27
bit as you play, and you receive,
18:29
uh, six coins as they toss them your way.
18:32
Yeah.
18:32
Give it up for the naked goblin, folks.
18:36
Oh, yeah, the Naked goblin. The names
18:39
Fizzle fingers. Nice shred
18:41
one. His lightning just
18:44
shoots out. Oh,
18:47
right on.
18:49
Wait. What was coming out of your
18:51
fingers there?
18:52
I don't know. As the crowd
18:55
dissipates. Yeah, they eventually. They're like, oh, I don't know.
18:58
See, that's what I've been noticing. Have you guys noticed that
19:01
I kind of shock a lot of people when I touch them?
19:04
Um, yeah.
19:05
I thought your thing was ice.
19:07
That was my old thing. I guess my
19:10
new body's got, like, electrical powers.
19:13
Cool. I still have powers. Nice.
19:17
I. Can I start, like, flexing my hands together, see if,
19:20
like, lightning starts forming. It looks like one of those. It's, uh,
19:23
not really one of those orbs or whatever that you like.
19:26
I don't know. That's, like, a sciency thing where there's the electricity
19:28
that's, uh, shooting through it, and you touch it, and a little beam of
19:31
electricity will come to your fingers.
19:35
Except it's very weak. It is not working. Well,
19:38
Fatty Tompkins is losing his mind over there,
19:41
trying to think of the.
19:45
Powers, too.
19:47
Well, mine are different. I never could do this
19:49
before. Also, here's a really important
19:52
question. Should
19:55
we be going by our new names?
19:58
I don't know.
19:59
Uh, you said
20:02
no.
20:02
Okay, that's fair.
20:03
But would other people know us as these names? Have you
20:06
ever heard of a goblin named Fizzle Fingers?
20:09
Feather?
20:10
I'm sorry, I haven't.
20:12
How about cobalt? Uh, named Theo?
20:16
No.
20:17
Or a couple Kenkus named Quill?
20:19
And what about.
20:21
What do you make, Feather Maker?
20:25
And I show my badge?
20:28
Um, Feather, you do kind of recognize something
20:30
similar. Um, you've seen people go into
20:33
certain districts of this city,
20:36
specifically the Wakandale District or the
20:38
Asgardia District. Um, they had
20:41
badges that sort of. Kind of resemble
20:44
these. Um, they're sort of like ID badges that
20:47
allow you access into certain places. For instance, if you
20:50
had a job in the Wakandale district, at one of the
20:53
factories there, this would be the badge that you'd have in
20:56
order to get you into that factory for your shifts and
20:59
things like that. Um, higher ups will have
21:02
access to different places, which is magically installed
21:05
on these IDs. Um, but these ones that they all
21:08
hold look like very early
21:10
versions.
21:11
They look like, uh, these early versions of
21:14
badges that were used to
21:16
get around town. I don't know much about them.
21:20
I know the technology has come a long way since then, though,
21:23
but they still might work.
21:24
Do you have one?
21:26
No, I don't. Um, but I also
21:29
wanted to tell you guys, I've decided to join up with you guys,
21:32
and let's go slice some slicers.
21:35
Whoa.
21:36
Hey. All right, well, this guy's coming along.
21:38
Mock you. Pass him on the back.
21:42
So we're not slicing ham?
21:44
No, we're slicing pizza.
21:46
See, I knew this guy, didn't we?
21:49
Didn't need a formal interview.
21:53
I saw the potential.
21:55
You wrote one up and everything.
21:58
No, I didn't.
22:00
Those are just icebreaker questions.
22:03
Did you guys talk, uh, to the slicer off
22:06
while I was gone?
22:08
Yeah. Guys kind of shrugs like
22:11
M kind of. What are we doing
22:14
jumping people when
22:16
630, is it going to be dark at
22:19
630? I don't know.
22:22
Going to be dark, but not quite. That
22:24
happens later.
22:25
We just got here. We haven't even experienced
22:28
nighttime here yet.
22:30
Actually.
22:32
He kind of said that he goes into Slicer's voice and
22:35
says, it'll be kind of dark, but not quite
22:38
yet. That'll happen later.
22:41
And a mimicry of his voice.
22:43
What he said.
22:44
Interesting. All right, I'm, uh, uh, down.
22:46
Let's do it. Speaking of Slicer, did I
22:49
ever give back the Morning Star
22:53
he tried to hit him with? Asked for
22:56
it. Yeah, but did he take it back?
22:59
I think he would have. Get it
23:02
back. Sure. Um, is there anything
23:05
you guys, at this point, would like to do in the
23:08
meantime, before 630? Yeah, we
23:11
still have our question.
23:16
We just throw it to the side and walk off
23:19
again. Uh, I'm
23:22
kind of curious. If that beam of light follows it.
23:25
It doesn't seem to.
23:28
Beam of light going across the sky.
23:31
Do you actually throw it?
23:33
Yes. Okay, so you throw it, and there's no
23:36
beam of light until it hits the ground. And then once
23:39
it hits the ground, it goes,
23:42
and this beam of light illuminates
23:45
it. You get
23:48
the sense that, uh, Jar Jim really
23:51
wants you to keep this around. He really
23:54
wants us to ask a question.
23:56
So we should ask about those abilities you talked
23:59
about. Do you remember what he said? You can mimic.
24:03
What did it say.
24:06
About the abilities? He said that you could
24:09
spend, uh, gold directly to
24:11
him in order to increase your skills
24:14
and abilities, which
24:17
outside of the game, Skyler says
24:20
means, uh, you would essentially pay
24:23
to level up.
24:24
All right, well, let's ask him.
24:27
Maybe we ask him how much gold it takes to
24:30
increase our abilities.
24:32
What do you guys think? Does that sound good?
24:35
That sounds fair to me.
24:36
Does it have to be? How do we have to phrase our
24:39
questions? That wasn't the question.
24:43
Didn't he already ask a question? He asked who he
24:46
was.
24:47
Wow.
24:48
I don't know if that counted.
24:50
One way to find out. Ask another
24:52
question. I guess I'm still voting.
24:55
What kind of meats? The slicer slices.
24:58
And you thought, uh, my question was dumb? Hey, you
25:01
know, keto never changes that.
25:03
I wonder if his father was a butcher.
25:05
Maybe mine was a candlestick
25:08
maker.
25:12
Mine died
25:14
or left me in a monastery. I don't
25:17
know.
25:19
Explains the drinking.
25:22
Hey, you might be right.
25:33
Uh, uh.
25:36
Hey, uh, everyone, Skyler here. Are you a fan of session Zero
25:39
Heroes and the shows we produce or the characters involved?
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Then you should check out our epic merch we have available online,
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broccoli on a hoodie to wear to the gym with you,
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26:00
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you can get. Now back to the show.
26:11
Uh, ask the question, Maki.
26:15
Uh, Jar Jim, how much gold
26:18
do we need to increase these
26:21
abilities?
26:21
We, um. You
26:24
go silent for a moment, but then quickly, you hear little
26:27
tone. Go,
26:30
we're sorry, but you've already asked your question
26:33
for the day. And then all of a sudden you hear, I hate that
26:36
stupid message. All right, you guys have already
26:39
technically used the question for the day when he asked
26:42
if I knew who he was. Yeah, I know who you are. Of course I
26:45
know who you are. I sent you here, all right? But I'm going to give you
26:48
that one as a freebie. And also, I don't
26:51
know, I'm a little annoyed that you guys kind of just, like, left the
26:53
stone I gave you. That was kind of a rude move,
26:56
guys, but. All right, I'm here. Okay.
26:59
Question, uh, was it Maki? You want to know, uh,
27:02
how much it costs for you to increase your skills
27:05
and abilities? Well, so what's that mean?
27:08
Well, can we just pair those questions together? Yeah,
27:11
that's fine. So we know what we're spending our money on. Okay. All right,
27:14
so you remember how when your, uh, other lives and your
27:17
other bodies, you were capable of doing all kinds of crazy stuff?
27:20
You could cast crazy magic. You could cast. Oh, yeah,
27:23
you're hearing all of this. Feather McGregor, you could,
27:25
uh, uh, fight a lot better. You
27:28
were stronger.
27:29
Open a shark.
27:31
Yeah. You killed sharks. You threw me into a
27:34
lake, uh, eating stingrays
27:37
in it. You're really dwelling on this one
27:39
point. It's really hard to forget it,
27:43
whatever the case. All right, so basically what this
27:45
would allow you to do is get closer to being able
27:48
to do that kind of stuff. Now, here's the catch. You guys are in different
27:51
bodies with different skill sets, right? So
27:54
you're going to get different skills and abilities
27:57
based on those bodies, but they'll be
28:00
stronger than what you got currently,
28:02
right? So just use your old bodies as an example,
28:05
right? When you were younger and you were like, I can only do so
28:08
much. I can only attack one time on my turn.
28:11
Uh.
28:14
Very meta. I can only deal so much
28:16
damage. I can only cast a couple
28:19
of level one spells, and then I just got to do can
28:21
trips the rest of the time. You know what I'm talking about?
28:25
Whatever the case, with the level.
28:28
Sorry. The, uh, increase in skills and
28:30
abilities, uh, you'll be able to do all kinds of that,
28:33
kind of more towards where you were at before I
28:36
threw you in here into new bodies and such. What about
28:39
Feather? Uh,
28:42
well, is he going to be. I mean, I'm assuming
28:45
he's your chosen NPC based on the fact
28:48
that he touched the stone.
28:50
NPC?
28:52
Sorry? For the non playable
28:55
character, M.
28:57
He said MVP, most valuable
29:00
MVC. Most valuable character.
29:03
Uh, that's a question. Well, I'm
29:06
going to get to that in a moment. Is
29:09
he your chosen one?
29:12
Well, timber Slicer,
29:17
I'm leaning.
29:20
You tell me now.
29:22
Come on. He's my new hire.
29:24
Oh, you hired him. He's working for nothing,
29:27
right?
29:28
What I don't think that's the deal.
29:31
Look, do you want the sauce, or do you want
29:34
the slicer? I know where I'm
29:37
voting.
29:38
I offered you 30 gold, and
29:41
then due to my tough, uh, negotiation
29:44
skills, you counter offered with
29:46
zero gold and said you'd work for
29:49
free for a few days.
29:53
I just help you guys out. I'm just here to help you guys out.
29:56
Who is this guy? What is going on?
30:00
Jar Jim, you want to introduce yourself? I would love
30:03
to, but I have to know if he's the guy you're
30:05
choosing. Uh, what do you think, Keto?
30:08
We haven't found anyone better. I
30:11
disagree with that.
30:15
What do you.
30:18
What you got?
30:20
The slicer we got.
30:21
Which one's better?
30:22
The apple cut guy.
30:26
Do you think Feather should be our NPC?
30:29
That guard was a little too touchy feeling for me.
30:32
Two votes. That's three votes. Oh, I guess I'm
30:34
outnumbered.
30:35
That potion lady.
30:37
What about that one Canadian God. He
30:40
said he was too handsy.
30:44
I like the way he touched me.
30:47
I have no idea what's going on, but I'm really offended he's not
30:50
choosing me, and I don't even know what I'm getting choose.
30:52
That's true. Do you want to
30:55
be
30:57
MPC?
30:59
The MVP?
31:01
Yeah.
31:03
If you want it, I could interview. I mean, ask these
31:06
icebreaker questions.
31:07
Ask an icebreaker. You hear Jim Jar say, oh, this
31:10
is going to be fantastic.
31:14
Uh, uh.
31:14
If you can ace this icebreaker question, you're
31:17
in.
31:18
All right, so let's say you're traveling
31:21
down busy, uh, cart path,
31:24
and you come across an old lady
31:27
tied up in the middle of the road
31:30
and branching off to the right,
31:33
there's a bunch of children.
31:42
Pull the lever.
31:43
Now, there's a barrel on the side of the road.
31:46
You can block off one road,
31:50
and also, the barrel is full of beer.
31:55
That's a waste of a barrel.
31:56
There's a money. Ah. Wagon headed full steam
31:59
ahead with eight
32:02
horses pulling it, and there's
32:05
bandits behind it.
32:08
Very standard scenario you might find
32:11
yourself in. What do you do?
32:13
I remember that day well. You take the
32:16
barrel, and you're waving.
32:19
Oh, that's what Maki did.
32:25
You take the barrel. Uh.
32:28
What did I tell you?
32:33
You just take the barrel.
32:36
Opportunity arises.
32:38
Free keg of beer. You take the free
32:41
keg of beer.
32:42
And then you wait like we did on the side of the road
32:45
for the money cart to topple over and then take some of the
32:48
money with the bandits. It's a little
32:50
anticlimactic, but, uh, it was fairly
32:53
entertaining to hear that little interaction. Okay, Jar
32:56
Jim.
32:57
I didn't realize he was part of the icebreaker.
32:59
Well, I was just listening. Do you have an icebreaker, Jar Jim? Wait,
33:02
that's him. No, you just tell me if you want him, and I'll give
33:05
him the rundown. Are we all in consensus? Are we all
33:08
in agreement, Maki?
33:10
Hell, yeah.
33:11
All right. Keto? Aye,
33:14
Des. Yeah. Well,
33:17
all right. That's everybody. Okay. Hello,
33:19
Feather McGregor. My name is Jar Jim. I
33:22
control your world. I'm
33:25
nodding. I am, uh, the God that
33:28
created your world and everyone in it and everything
33:31
in it on a.
33:36
Bet.
33:37
That's not necessarily what happened. Well,
33:40
you wanted me to be honest, and I said that if you ask me questions,
33:43
the bet was if you could swim back. It was not to
33:46
build a world, actually. But I'm doing
33:49
this for him. This was already in the works. I was going to
33:52
tell whoever you picked the kind of
33:55
rundown and kind of grant them some of the
33:57
same access to things that you guys were going to have,
34:00
which means, uh, feather McGregor, that,
34:03
uH, you are now part of their task
34:06
of making a million goals. Now, here's the thing. Uh, there's
34:09
nothing that is necessarily bad that's going to happen
34:12
to anybody who doesn't finish the goal. Uh, but there's definitely
34:15
nothing bad that's going to happen to you. You will just
34:17
simply. If it's not accomplished, uh,
34:20
whatever happens to them is pretty irrelevant to you. Uh,
34:23
they'll disappear, and you won't have
34:26
to deal with them anymore. Uh, but you will forget everything that
34:29
happened that relates to them
34:32
and me and the goal. So just putting that one out
34:35
there, okay, you'll go back to your noble life.
34:38
I, uh, won't disclose what that is, as much as I know
34:41
about what that is. You're afraid to
34:44
help these guys with their goal, and, uh, you will
34:47
also, uh, be rewarded, as they will if they
34:50
succeed. You get kind of a nice deal out of
34:53
it, honestly. No consequences if you
34:55
fail. I mean, it's great.
34:57
What's the reward for me?
34:59
Uh, well, I'll tell you what.
35:01
Meaning. So you basically say my life
35:04
is meaningless currently, yes.
35:07
Says nods.
35:10
Absolutely.
35:10
Uh, you are a small being
35:13
within a pocket dimension that literally sits
35:16
inside my pocket. Hello.
35:19
I'm yelling into my pocket right now.
35:25
But I tell you what. It's up
35:28
to you. You can take the proverbial red or
35:31
blue pill at the end of all this. If you succeed in their
35:34
goal, uh, if you want to, I
35:37
can bring you out of that world. And
35:40
into the real one, where
35:43
these fellows exist.
35:45
I guess at this point, if life is meaningless and
35:48
I really don't exist, I guess I got no
35:51
reason to say no.
35:52
Well, I mean, I'm not trying to get metaphorical or anything
35:55
like that, but I guess life is
35:58
whatever meaning you attribute to it
36:00
so you don't have to act all
36:03
depressed.
36:04
Wow, this is a lot to lay on me.
36:06
That's fair. That's totally fair.
36:10
All right, sounds good. Think of it this way. You
36:12
met up with the main characters. It's going
36:15
to get a little awkward for you because, well, uh,
36:18
let you in on a little something. The other gods
36:21
that people worship in this world of yours, they're not
36:24
real.
36:27
But, uh, take that as you Will. Hey,
36:30
sometimes even a false religion can be
36:33
something somebody needs for themselves to
36:36
get through life that they don't realize
36:38
is meaningless.
36:42
Um, there's a lot going on in.
36:44
My mind right now, but like I said,
36:47
even if you don't help these guys
36:49
succeed, your life will go on
36:52
as if it never happened. You'll go back to what you
36:55
do. You won't suffer for
36:58
it. This pocket dimension, I just leave it in my
37:00
pocket. I'm not going to
37:03
destroy it if this doesn't work out. This thing's been in my pocket for
37:06
quite a long time.
37:09
I made that bet a long time ago, and I just
37:12
didn't feel like dealing with it after I won, so
37:15
I just left it there. So, I mean, nothing's going to happen to me. I'm not
37:18
going to cause the apocalypse. You'll be safe and sound to live through
37:21
the rest of your normal life,
37:23
whatever that means. But if you
37:26
succeed, you'll have a new option for a
37:29
new life in a more
37:31
substantial. He said. Ah. Well, uh,
37:34
I was going to say an air quotes, but you wouldn't see that, so it doesn't matter.
37:37
Um, substantial reality.
37:40
I'm in. Do it.
37:42
All right. Wonderful. Well, I mean, you don't have to tell me you're
37:45
going to do it. Just do it. That is the
37:48
most roundabout way of answering our question
37:51
about how much gold it takes to level up our. Oh,
37:53
yes, I can jump back.
37:56
Well, you guys are asking
37:59
us. There's a lot to lay on. Yeah, I'm just
38:02
going to go sit. There's like a stump over. I'm going to go sit and
38:05
my whole life is meaningless. That's a good thing.
38:07
He hears the voice anyhow, all those sauces that you've.
38:10
All the sauces. All the people have killed McGriddle.
38:13
McGriddle. I killed McGriddle.
38:14
Wait,
38:17
what?
38:18
I'm just sitting there. I'm like. I'm mumbling to myself.
38:20
All the sauces. You say that?
38:23
All the sauces I've made, all the people I've
38:26
killed. McGriddle. I just wander.
38:30
You're just sitting there. You just try to process all of
38:33
it. Yeah. You're like in a hand over
38:36
fetal position.
38:37
Almost the whole life is meaningless.
38:39
Sure.
38:40
All right. That's kind of what I'm doing right now.
38:42
How loud is mumbling?
38:45
Not loud enough to be heard over the. Just general
38:50
traffic, uh, of Jar Jim. The area. Yeah. And Jar Jim
38:53
talking.
38:55
They're still waiting. Yes, well, I'm
38:58
trying to get to that. If people would stop getting so
39:01
emotional. Okay, so it's kind of a
39:03
complicated series of things.
39:07
Um, I'll tell you this. If you want to get to the
39:10
next level, it's going to cost you 300 gold.
39:13
Sorry, the next.
39:14
Yes, I'm m almost there.
39:17
I'm not. Actually, you know what? I
39:20
think the best thing to do, since it is each of you, I'm going to cut
39:23
it in half. Uh, I think that's
39:26
the best way to handle that.
39:29
That's very kind. So 150 each? So
39:31
150 per person. Since
39:34
your goal is literally to get in gold in the
39:37
span of the time, it makes more sense
39:40
that. Yeah, so it's 150 level monkey. You
39:43
can level up, uh, enhance your
39:46
abilities. And he winks towards the sky.
39:52
Uh, yeah, I want to do that.
39:55
Oh, you want to do that right now?
39:56
Sure, why not?
39:58
All right, sounds good. Test it out. Trial run.
40:01
You're our test Maki.
40:02
Do we have to do it at the same time or like, uh,
40:05
no.
40:05
You can just do it if you want. If you're fine with that, that's fine
40:08
with me. If you guys are fine,
40:11
opinions. Do what you want. Where does he
40:14
put the money? Uh, you just put it in a bag and you set it
40:17
down. You, uh, put it on the stone,
40:20
like exact, or just you'll take out
40:22
150. Either way, it works. Okay.
40:25
I'm not going to take more. I'm a fair man. I keep my end of the
40:28
bargains.
40:30
All right, so I take out a sack
40:33
from my bag, and I put
40:35
it, the gold on the stone.
40:38
All right? And as you sit there and, uh, the gold sits
40:41
on the stone, you see the bag sort of shrink a little
40:44
bit as the money is taken out, leaving you with
40:46
whatever is left over after 150 gold, and
40:49
you suddenly feel a sensation about you as
40:52
you become lighter ever so slightly, you
40:55
feel your muscles bulge a little bit. You
40:58
feel your brain sort of absorb
41:00
more information or feel more open to
41:03
absorbing more information. Uh,
41:06
a number of things just sort of change about you, and you
41:09
start to sort of gain memories
41:12
of various skills that you
41:15
have, um, that you didn't realize that you
41:18
had, um, skills.
41:19
I can fly.
41:20
I see a lighter. You jump in an ear
41:23
and fall right back to the ground.
41:26
That's not one of the skills, unfortunately, but you do
41:29
level up to.
41:31
I don't think they can.
41:32
I don't think they can. It's like chickens.
41:35
Okay, chickens. I
41:38
saw chicken. Run. I saw chicken. You, um,
41:41
are now level two. Um, feel free to level
41:44
up with things. I, uh, included a sheet on the back that kind
41:47
of outlines some of the stuff as you go, but otherwise,
41:50
there's the normal things that, uh,
41:53
level two gives you as the
41:56
class that you're playing. So feel free to look those up. But
41:59
some of it might just be the subclass
42:02
information, which, of course, doesn't kick into level
42:04
three. But I'm not entirely sure what all I put on there.
42:07
But if you want to up those stats whenever you get a chance. He
42:10
says, um, yeah, I mean,
42:13
all things considered, whenever you guys want to level
42:16
up, just let me know. It won't
42:19
count as your question, can I level
42:22
up? That's not going to be the question that I'm going to answer for you. I'll
42:25
just do it right. It's a part of the world that I
42:28
created here, so feel free to let me know
42:31
if that's what you want to do. Uh, as long as you got the
42:34
gold, I'm down to do it quick. Meta out
42:36
of game. Uh, so if you guys look at the
42:39
DNd five E experience chart
42:42
that you need to level up, so the money
42:45
that it costs to level up will correlate to half
42:48
of the experience points that you need in order to level
42:51
up. The reason I'm moving it to half is
42:54
because your whole goal is to collect a
42:57
million gold over the span of a series of time.
42:59
And once you get to level
43:02
five, you're looking at, like, five to six.
43:05
You're looking at over 10,000 experience
43:08
or gold. Uh, you would have to be spending, and
43:11
that's really taking chunks out of your end
43:14
goal here. And to some extent, that's kind of the point, but at the
43:17
same time, I don't want to limit you guys so much. So,
43:19
um, feel free to look over that
43:22
list and, uh, kind of get an idea of what numbers
43:25
you're going to need to want to get to and things along those lines.
43:28
And then along the wAy, it's just going to be up to
43:30
you to decide if you want to sacrifice some of the money
43:33
that you're putting towards the end goal of the million gold
43:36
pieces all at once in order to level up,
43:39
because what you spend will not count towards your
43:42
final goal. Okay. All right. Well, now that you're
43:45
all got, uh, your information, you know how it
43:48
all works. I'm going to head out. And by head out, it means
43:51
I'm just going to be peeking in my pocket at you guys.
43:55
And his voice fades away. Maki, where
43:58
was that alley? What time is it? Um,
44:01
it's probably around one to 02:00
44:04
in the afternoon. You guys have a little bit of time if there's anything that
44:07
you want to do before you head over to meet up with the
44:10
slicer.
44:12
Maki puts his hands together,
44:16
all eight fingers,
44:20
and it feels like
44:23
there's a, uh, font of magic
44:25
welling up inside me.
44:29
I, uh, wonder if I can do anything like
44:33
what Roric did. And he tries to
44:36
create sparks in between his fingers,
44:38
and he focuses really hard. Uh,
44:42
and you should see a small shower of sparks
44:45
as he cast prestige.
44:47
Hey, very nice. You can make
44:50
someone poop themselves.
44:53
Press the digitation on your pants.
44:55
On your pants. That's kind of neat.
44:58
I wonder what else I can do. So
45:01
if we just think into our memories,
45:04
we remember what we do kind.
45:07
Of, to an extent. Yeah. You sort of have
45:09
instinct. It's a lot of instinct.
45:12
But you have a moment
45:15
that sort of flashes into your brain,
45:18
um, of remembering, using these
45:21
skills before in this body. Like, you
45:24
can kind of see your hands, and you see the feathered hands
45:26
of Quill Smith,
45:29
and you see him
45:32
using these abilities
45:35
throughout what seems to be whatever his life.
45:39
Right? I feel. I feel
45:42
pretty good. Guys, it's been a
45:45
couple hours since I had a drink.
45:47
What? We just drank,
45:51
uh, I guess an hour ago. Okay. He's
45:54
onto something. He's onto something. Did you
45:57
just spend all your money?
46:00
I got some. About 80 gold
46:03
left.
46:04
I'm just sitting in the corner still.
46:06
Just dealing with the reality
46:09
of what you've just learned. I mean, you're willing to
46:11
accept the fact, uh, I'm not trying to
46:14
criticize what you're doing, but a rock talked
46:17
to you, and you're like, all right.
46:20
A rock told me my whole life is meaningless, and I'm just
46:23
in some guy's pocket.
46:24
Somebody needs to go console.
46:28
If someone.
46:29
Told you you weren't, you're right.
46:31
That, uh, would be a lot. I'll walk over
46:34
to little sauce, uh,
46:36
and I'll rest
46:40
a, um, feathery hand on his
46:42
shoulder. And it,
46:45
um, just out of my mouth, he says, what a
46:48
special friend you are.
46:54
Thanks, man. I really appreciate that.
46:57
Des nods, pats your shoulder once or
47:00
twice.
47:00
Stand up. Yeah. Get the group together.
47:05
I'd like to. Like to come clean if you guys
47:08
got a second.
47:11
Or do you even care?
47:15
What do you mean, come clean? Spill
47:18
some sauce on your shirt?
47:19
No. I tell you about myself. If life itself
47:22
is meaningless, and apparently you guys are from
47:25
the real world.
47:26
Uh huh.
47:28
I like a shot at living in the real world. I need to come
47:31
clean to you.
47:34
Okay. Uh, I'm an undercover operative in
47:37
this world, and,
47:40
uh, I
47:42
work
47:45
Chalker.
47:46
What's so obvious about it? I'm confused. I don't know
47:49
what an operative is.
47:51
Uh, I go.
47:55
Undercover. Nighttime sleep. Oh, he's a narc. Hey,
47:57
wait a second. You know what we do with narcs
48:00
up there? And he
48:03
looks
48:05
up, we turn him into ham slice.
48:07
Oh, man.
48:08
That's going to be the ongoing joke now you know what we do
48:11
out in the real world.
48:13
I was a narc as of, like, 20 minutes
48:16
ago, but, uh, I no longer want to go
48:19
down this. The life is meaningless,
48:22
and I want to live in the real
48:25
world. And you might have overheard some
48:28
things on my last undercover, uh,
48:32
operation. Uh, to not blow our
48:35
cover, I had to kill McGrew. He told me to do it.
48:37
He said, tell, uh, his wife and kids he
48:41
loved. Said I had to do it to
48:43
keep the COVID They made me kill
48:47
him. Uh, I killed my best.
48:51
Friend, sweet Susan. Good thing that wasn't real.
48:53
Am I,
48:59
boy? Apparently it wasn't.
49:01
So I don't know how bad I feel about it, but I still feel
49:03
pretty bad. But I'd like a chance in
49:06
the real world. If it turns out that you guys are
49:09
just joshing with me,
49:11
then, um, I still haven't lost
49:15
much.
49:15
Maybe there's a McGriddle up there in the
49:19
sky looking down on You. Hope so.
49:22
Maybe there's a place where the
49:24
McGriddles flow like rivers. You know
49:27
what's funny? Patties off of a grill. Patties
49:31
off. You know what's funny is we weren't
49:34
even in the real world when we got pulled down here. We
49:37
were in what they call the
49:40
Underdark, which is, like, under the real
49:43
world. And now we're here, so we're like.
49:45
Two levels of hell at this.
49:50
Point.
49:50
Hopefully we don't make someone else manage, get sucked into a deeper
49:53
pocket dimension.
49:55
I'm willing to use my
49:58
skills.
49:59
What skills do you bring to the table? Because, well, one,
50:01
I'm incredibly good looking. Keto
50:04
is depressing. Uh, Des has got
50:06
great jokes, and Maki's got his
50:09
alcoholic addiction. What do you bring to this
50:14
crew?
50:15
Uh, I'm really good at making
50:17
sauce.
50:18
You're hired. Exactly what
50:21
we
50:23
do. Awesome. Uh, like I said, is
50:26
there anything in particular that you guys can think of that you want
50:29
to do until in the downtime, until
50:32
around 630, when you're supposed to meet up with the slicer? Well,
50:35
the only idea was more drinking. So I guess we're all
50:38
right. Taking monkey to go drink some more, I guess.
50:41
All right, so you guys head off.
50:43
Uh, I don't know. Do you want to go to the same tavern or are you going to a
50:46
different tavern?
50:49
Uh, we go to the same tavern. I mean,
50:52
you're literally standing right. You've been standing right outside of it this
50:55
whole time. You go into this other
50:58
tavern or, sorry, the same tavern. The
51:01
drizzle fizzle. The drizzle of fizzle. The fizzle of
51:04
drizzle. A drizzle of fizzle. Uh, there we go. You,
51:07
uh, get a few drinks. Let's, uh, say three. Can I get
51:10
a cup with a, uh, little
51:12
cup? Empty cup. You're not going
51:15
to take it, right? No, I'm going
51:18
to set it
51:22
down. She sets a cup on there. It's just like an old
51:24
wooden
51:27
cup. You want me to pause something in
51:30
it? No, I'm going to just slowly
51:32
inch towards the door. Are you
51:35
taking that? No, I'm not. I'll
51:38
be within, uh,
51:41
earshot. And he just walks out, he sets his
51:43
cup down and he pulls out his
51:47
loop and he starts
51:50
performing and kind of like kicking his
51:53
cup towards people
51:56
while you guys are drinking. He's just going to start
51:59
performing, try and make some more
52:02
money.
52:02
Imagine him kicking, nudging the cup from table
52:05
to.
52:08
Table, getting right in their
52:13
personal. I went outside, but sure, I'll walk around in
52:16
the bar, too, just kicking
52:19
my candle over the place. As Queen once said.
52:21
She approaches you. Yeah, go
52:24
ahead, 1414. All right. She approaches you and she
52:27
says, well, you have to give the
52:29
house half. I kick it
52:34
outside. She's like, you have to at least pay me a
52:37
gold for the cup.
52:41
Okay. He's, ah, playing outside. You're waiting. You're
52:44
like. And while he's outside, she'll hear him, like, in
52:47
between songs, he'll be like, hey, don't forget, get
52:50
your drinks inside and come back out for a
52:52
great performance while he's Drumming up marketing
52:55
as well so she doesn't get us mad at him.
52:58
You got a new cup, though.
52:59
And I got a new cup that I can use whenever I
53:02
want because I paid for it.
53:04
Apparently, uh, you get people to toss you about
53:07
five gold, uh,
53:10
guys, the million dollars, I can smell
53:13
it already. Uh, you're feeling a little tired.
53:16
You finally come inside after you got in your five gold, and,
53:19
uh, you bring yourself up to the bar and she
53:22
says, I tell you what, you did me a
53:26
favor. You brought people in. You can keep
53:28
the cup. I won't charge you for it.
53:31
Giant fist bump, she says,
53:34
but that's all you're getting from me. Next time, we're splitting
53:37
the profits. What? Why?
53:40
Well, you can play in here and you're bound to get more
53:43
money because these people in here are
53:45
drunk. Oh, that's a good point. They'll hear
53:48
the
53:51
music. They come in.
53:52
I don't know what you were talking.
53:53
About, but, yeah, sure, we'll find a way to get the music. We'll open
53:56
the windows. That's what I was thinking. There you go. And
53:59
then they'll come in dancing through the
54:02
door.
54:02
How much money would I have saved up from the sauce
54:05
business altogether?
54:06
Didn't I give you a job? You gave
54:09
me.
54:10
Right. How much?
54:10
I have told
54:13
at least 20.
54:14
I was pretty wealthy.
54:15
It is dry rub season.
54:17
It's dry rub season. But how much I have back at.
54:19
The house, you got to tighten your belt a little
54:22
during dry.
54:25
Rub. As he stated before, nothing matters.
54:28
Yeah, it's true.
54:29
How much of McGriddle's money did you take with
54:31
you?
54:32
96 gold.
54:33
How much?
54:34
96.
54:35
Ah, so 116 total.
54:37
Sure.
54:38
Yeah. All right.
54:41
Uh, I decided I'm going to go back to my house. I assume it's not
54:44
too far from.
54:45
It's not too far. No.
54:46
I'm just going to grab all my gold and
54:49
bring it back, set it in the pile.
54:51
Might as well grab all your property, too, and just sell
54:55
it. How many hours we got? Well, uh, you got
54:58
maybe like three. I got to start with simple
55:02
three.
55:03
Simple stuff that I've got in the house.
55:05
Uh, wrenches, man. Uh, yeah, you've got
55:08
some. I mean, you have box of matches. You have
55:11
your supplies for making
55:14
sauce.
55:15
So much sauce. Supplies.
55:16
Oh, man. The whole trip. That's
55:19
a great idea. What if
55:22
that's just what we do? Let's just start
55:25
flipping
55:28
houses. It doesn't matter. We
55:31
ruined the economy flipping.
55:37
Houses.
55:37
Start with the profits from his house. You
55:40
see? Start flipping like crazy. You,
55:43
uh, see the
55:45
one known as Big
55:48
Sauce? Whoa. He's been your
55:51
competition for years. Or we could
55:54
take him and he's got two cronies with him.
55:57
Um, and he comes walking up to your booth
56:00
and he says, what's all
56:04
this?
56:04
I'm selling the sauce, but I'm getting out of the sauce business.
56:07
You're selling your sauce
56:11
business? That's a phrase I've been waiting to
56:14
hear for
56:16
years. Yeah, he's been waiting to hear that
56:19
phrase for years. He's
56:22
wanted to buy your size business from you for
56:24
years. Shut up, Theodore.
56:27
It's got to be worth the price.
56:29
Uh, what do you want? Wow.
56:31
1 million.
56:36
Dry. I need it in a.
56:40
Week. The old, uh, dry
56:43
rub. Tom, uh, he offered me 1000
56:46
gold for the business. He's going to turn it into a
56:49
dry rub and saucer.
56:52
No dry rub,
56:56
Tom. Shut up, Theodore. Don't make
56:59
me say it
57:01
again. Uh, all
57:04
right. 1000
57:08
gold. That's a lot of money. It is
57:11
for a little
57:17
sauce. It's dry rub season.
57:20
It is dry rub season. For another.
57:22
Buying out your sauce, is it going to come with
57:25
the.
57:28
Recipes? Recipes are 200
57:31
extra. Um, 1200 total.
57:33
No deal.
57:35
Just for you. Because I've always kind of liked you, big
57:38
sauce.
57:38
Yeah, you did kind of like you big time.
57:41
I looked up to.
57:49
You all the.
57:50
Sauce equipment and m the
57:53
recipes. McGriddles recipes.
57:56
Don't mention his name. Yeah, well, that's what
57:59
it is. I know they ain't your
58:02
recipes.
58:03
They're mine.
58:06
He owned a burger restaurant. 750 for
58:09
it.
58:12
All, man. All
58:15
right, deal. You get the
58:18
sauce recipes. You got them on you.
58:21
They're right in the shack.
58:22
All right. You've got it all in the shack. Let me
58:25
see them.
58:26
Open up thing. Everything's there.
58:32
Recipes left that come
58:35
with us. It's
58:38
locked. So big thoughts? Could have just came over anytime. He just
58:40
worked there. Okay.
58:43
Most people lock their businesses.
58:45
Theodore is literally, like, jumping up and down. He's
58:47
like, mangriddle recipes
58:50
right
58:52
there. And big sauce is like, all right,
58:56
deal.
58:57
750.
58:57
He, like, holds out of his hands, and Theodore is like, oh,
59:00
man. He starts reaching in his pockets and he's like, pulling out
59:03
some little bags of coins. The other crony hasn't said a
59:06
single thing. He's kind of like a burlier guy. He doesn't
59:08
talk much. Um, but anyway, Theodore hands him a
59:11
couple of bags of gold. He tossed them in front of
59:14
you. He says, well, I don't
59:17
know what you got planned or what's going on and why
59:20
you're dropping the business, but,
59:22
uh, good luck.
59:24
Appreciate that. Shake his hands.
59:26
You shake hands.
59:27
I leave and I say. I walk
59:30
back, I pull down the little sauce of sauce
59:33
sign and throw up.
59:35
Nine. You want to keep it? Okay. All
59:38
right. You throw it. And he says, oh,
59:41
that saves me some
59:44
time. All right. And with that, you've got 750
59:46
gold pieces from your saw shop.
59:49
Is there somewhere that we're, like, keeping.
59:51
These all been housed? Uh, I mean, basically, you just have them
59:54
on your person. I would say. Write it down, though. I mean, that's
59:56
your 750 gold.
59:58
We're all average. 750 plus
1:00:00
another 160.
1:00:02
That's a lot of gold. House flipping
1:00:05
time, boys.
1:00:06
Just
1:00:09
891, right?
1:00:10
Or no, man.
1:00:13
750.
1:00:13
Missed opportunity.
1:00:15
Yeah, you're right.
1:00:18
Could have been where we kept all the money.
1:00:20
And then we could have said, there's always money in the.
1:00:28
Sauce.
1:00:28
Worst case, we could just keep it in. I want
1:00:31
to come back to the group and be like, guys, show them
1:00:34
the money. Okay.
1:00:36
Got 800. I'm going to motion to
1:00:39
the cup.
1:00:41
It's going to the same
1:00:46
place.
1:00:46
Oh, yeah.
1:00:49
Maki stumbles over a little intoxicated, and throws
1:00:51
a.
1:00:55
Coin. The lady was right
1:01:01
about awesome. And, uh, with that, you
1:01:04
guys party, uh, for a little bit until, uh,
1:01:07
you start to look outside, and it's starting to kind of hit dusk. It's
1:01:10
getting a little late. Um, and you're
1:01:13
looking around, you see a clock. There's an old grandfather clock
1:01:16
that sits inside of this room. You see that it's inching
1:01:19
towards 630. And with
1:01:22
that, we're going to end things for this episode.
1:01:25
Thank you so much for listening to Criminals of Island Numis,
1:01:27
a Dungeons and Dragons Fifth edition actual play
1:01:30
podcast set in a homebrew world created by me, Skyler
1:01:33
Gorset. If you've been enjoying our show so far, be sure to, like, follow
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and subscribe wherever it is that you're streaming from, whether that
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if you enjoy coin, you might enjoy some of Session
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are currently coming out with, where we use a variety of games
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stay heroic until we roll.