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Can I Really Make It as a Single Parent on One Income? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 0:37
  You've
• 0:37
  been
• 0:37
  carrying
• 0:38
  the
• 0:38
  house,
• 0:38
  you've
• 0:39
  been
• 0:39
  paying
• 0:39
  the
• 0:39
  bills,
• 0:40
  you've
• 0:40
  been
• 0:40
  making
• 0:40
  the
• 0:41
  car
• 0:41
  payments,
• 0:41
  you've
• 0:41
  been
• 0:42
  paying
• 0:42
  for
• 0:42
  the
• 0:42
  insurance.
• 0:43
  You've
• 0:43
  been
• 0:43
  handling
• 0:44
  the
• 0:44
  kids
• 0:44
  schedules.
• 0:45
  And
• 0:46
  somewhere
• 0:46
  in
• 0:46
  the
• 0:46
  middle
• 0:47
  of
• 0:47
  all
• 0:47
  of
• 0:47
  it,
• 0:48
  you
• 0:48
  started
• 0:49
  carrying
• 0:49
  him
• 0:49
  too.
• 0:51
  And
• 0:51
  it
• 0:51
  wasn't
• 0:51
  because
• 0:51
  you
• 0:52
  chose
• 0:52
  to,
• 0:53
  because
• 0:53
  somebody
• 0:54
  had
• 0:54
  to.
• 0:55
  Now
• 0:55
  he
• 0:56
  earns
• 0:56
  $4,000
• 0:57
  a
• 0:57
  month
• 0:57
  and
• 0:57
  he
• 0:58
  contributes
• 0:58
  almost
• 0:59
  none
• 0:59
  of
• 0:59
  it.
• 1:00
  He's
• 1:01
  got
• 1:01
  $60,000
• 1:02
  of
• 1:02
  debt
• 1:03
  sitting
• 1:03
  in
• 1:03
  a
• 1:03
  marriage
• 1:03
  like
• 1:04
  a
• 1:04
  bomb
• 1:04
  you
• 1:04
  didn't
• 1:04
  plant.
• 1:05
  And
• 1:05
  you're
• 1:05
  asking
• 1:06
  whether
• 1:06
  to
• 1:06
  leave,
• 1:08
  but
• 1:08
  you
• 1:08
  already
• 1:08
  know
• 1:08
  the
• 1:08
  answer.
• 1:10
  You're
• 1:10
  asking
• 1:11
  something
• 1:11
  even
• 1:11
  harder.
• 1:12
  What
• 1:13
  you're
• 1:13
  actually
• 1:14
  asking
• 1:14
  is
• 1:14
  can
• 1:14
  I
• 1:15
  actually
• 1:15
  do
• 1:15
  this
• 1:15
  alone?
• 1:17
  What
• 1:17
  happens
• 1:17
  to
• 1:18
  my
• 1:18
  kids?
• 1:19
  What
• 1:19
  if
• 1:19
  I
• 1:19
  have
• 1:19
  to
• 1:20
  pay
• 1:20
  him
• 1:20
  child
• 1:20
  support
• 1:21
  and
• 1:21
  what
• 1:21
  if
• 1:21
  he
• 1:21
  gets
• 1:22
  half
• 1:22
  my
• 1:22
  pension?
• 1:24
  Those
• 1:25
  are
• 1:25
  real
• 1:25
  questions
• 1:26
  and
• 1:26
  they
• 1:26
  deserve
• 1:27
  real
• 1:27
  answers,
• 1:27
  not
• 1:27
  platitudes,
• 1:28
  not
• 1:28
  you'll
• 1:29
  be
• 1:29
  fine.
• 1:31
  Single
• 1:31
  parenting
• 1:32
  on
• 1:32
  one
• 1:33
  income
• 1:33
  is
• 1:33
  brutal
• 1:35
  and
• 1:35
  I'm
• 1:35
  not
• 1:35
  pretending
• 1:35
  it
• 1:36
  isn't.
• 1:37
  But
• 1:37
  you've
• 1:37
  already
• 1:37
  been
• 1:38
  doing
• 1:38
  this
• 1:38
  alone.
• 1:39
  You
• 1:39
  just
• 1:39
  haven't
• 1:40
  had
• 1:40
  the
• 1:40
  math
• 1:40
  to
• 1:40
  prove
• 1:41
  it.
• 1:41
  So
• 1:41
  today
• 1:42
  we're
• 1:42
  going
• 1:42
  to
• 1:42
  look
• 1:42
  at
• 1:43
  what
• 1:43
  single
• 1:43
  income
• 1:44
  survival
• 1:44
  actually
• 1:45
  looks
• 1:45
  like.
• 1:45
  We're
• 1:46
  going
• 1:46
  to
• 1:46
  talk
• 1:46
  about
• 1:46
  the
• 1:46
  legal
• 1:47
  pieces,
• 1:47
  the
• 1:48
  budget
• 1:48
  pieces
• 1:49
  and
• 1:49
  the
• 1:49
  part
• 1:49
  that
• 1:50
  nobody
• 1:50
  talks
• 1:50
  about
• 1:52
  because
• 1:52
  guess
• 1:52
  what?
• 1:52
  You're
• 1:53
  already
• 1:53
  doing
• 1:53
  the
• 1:53
  hard
• 1:53
  part.
• 1:54
  Let's
• 1:54
  build
• 1:54
  the
• 1:55
  plan
• 1:55
  around
• 1:55
  it.
• 2:05
  Hello
• 2:05
  and
• 2:05
  welcome
• 2:06
  to
• 2:06
  Financially
• 2:07
  Confident
• 2:07
  Christian.
• 2:08
  As
• 2:09
  you
• 2:09
  can
• 2:09
  tell,
• 2:09
  we
• 2:09
  have
• 2:10
  got
• 2:10
  a
• 2:10
  great
• 2:11
  listener
• 2:11
  question
• 2:12
  today.
• 2:13
  We
• 2:13
  got
• 2:13
  a
• 2:13
  listener
• 2:14
  that's
• 2:14
  leaving
• 2:14
  an
• 2:14
  abusive
• 2:15
  marriage
• 2:16
  and
• 2:16
  they're
• 2:16
  terrified
• 2:17
  about
• 2:17
  surviving
• 2:18
  on
• 2:18
  one
• 2:18
  income,
• 2:19
  possibly
• 2:19
  owing
• 2:20
  child
• 2:20
  support
• 2:20
  and
• 2:21
  yes,
• 2:21
  losing
• 2:21
  half
• 2:21
  their
• 2:22
  pension.
• 2:23
  What
• 2:24
  she's
• 2:24
  feeling
• 2:24
  isn't
• 2:24
  weakness.
• 2:25
  It's
• 2:26
  a
• 2:26
  rational
• 2:27
  response
• 2:27
  to
• 2:27
  a
• 2:28
  genuinely
• 2:28
  hard
• 2:28
  situation.
• 2:30
  Single
• 2:31
  parenting
• 2:31
  on
• 2:31
  one
• 2:32
  income
• 2:32
  in
• 2:32
  this
• 2:32
  economy
• 2:33
  isn't
• 2:33
  easy
• 2:34
  and
• 2:35
  the
• 2:35
  fear
• 2:35
  is
• 2:36
  legitimate.
• 2:37
  So
• 2:38
  today
• 2:38
  I
• 2:38
  want
• 2:38
  to
• 2:38
  talk
• 2:38
  about
• 2:39
  single
• 2:39
  income
• 2:39
  budgeting.
• 2:40
  I
• 2:40
  want
• 2:40
  to
• 2:40
  talk
• 2:40
  about
• 2:40
  legal
• 2:41
  protections.
• 2:41
  I'm
• 2:42
  not
• 2:42
  an
• 2:42
  attorney.
• 2:42
  I'm
• 2:42
  going
• 2:43
  to
• 2:43
  give
• 2:43
  you
• 2:43
  some
• 2:43
  basic
• 2:43
  ideas
• 2:45
  and
• 2:45
  I'm
• 2:45
  going
• 2:45
  to
• 2:45
  tell
• 2:45
  you
• 2:46
  how
• 2:46
  to
• 2:46
  stop
• 2:46
  drowning
• 2:47
  in
• 2:47
  worst
• 2:47
  case
• 2:47
  scenarios
• 2:48
  long
• 2:48
  enough
• 2:49
  to
• 2:49
  take
• 2:49
  the
• 2:49
  next
• 2:49
  step.
• 2:50
  But
• 2:51
  let's
• 2:51
  get
• 2:51
  right
• 2:51
  to
• 2:51
  today's
• 2:52
  listener
• 2:52
  question.
• 2:53
  Hi
• 2:53
  Ralph,
• 2:54
  I'm
• 2:54
  in
• 2:55
  the
• 2:55
  process
• 2:55
  of
• 2:55
  leaving
• 2:55
  an
• 2:56
  emotionally
• 2:56
  abusive
• 2:57
  marriage.
• 2:58
  My
• 2:58
  husband
• 2:59
  has
• 2:59
  accumulated
• 3:00
  $60,000
• 3:01
  in
• 3:01
  debt.
• 3:01
  He
• 3:02
  has
• 3:02
  no
• 3:02
  savings,
• 3:03
  no
• 3:03
  pension
• 3:04
  and
• 3:04
  carries
• 3:05
  multiple
• 3:05
  credit
• 3:06
  card
• 3:06
  balances.
• 3:06
  On
• 3:06
  top
• 3:07
  of
• 3:07
  that,
• 3:08
  Ralphie
• 3:08
  spends
• 3:09
  like
• 3:09
  he's
• 3:09
  entitled
• 3:09
  to
• 3:10
  a
• 3:10
  luxury
• 3:10
  lifestyle.
• 3:12
  I've
• 3:12
  been
• 3:12
  paying
• 3:12
  all
• 3:13
  the
• 3:13
  house
• 3:13
  expenses,
• 3:14
  I've
• 3:14
  been
• 3:14
  paying
• 3:14
  the
• 3:15
  bills,
• 3:15
  I've
• 3:15
  been
• 3:15
  making
• 3:16
  the
• 3:16
  car
• 3:16
  payments
• 3:17
  and
• 3:17
  I'm
• 3:17
  handling
• 3:18
  the
• 3:18
  insurance
• 3:19
  now
• 3:19
  he
• 3:20
  did
• 3:20
  contribute
• 3:20
  some
• 3:20
  to
• 3:21
  food
• 3:21
  and
• 3:21
  gas
• 3:21
  and
• 3:22
  some
• 3:22
  of
• 3:22
  the
• 3:22
  kids
• 3:22
  sports
• 3:23
  expenses,
• 3:23
  even
• 3:24
  though
• 3:24
  he
• 3:24
  earns
• 3:24
  $4,000
• 3:25
  a
• 3:25
  month.
• 3:27
  But
• 3:27
  Ralph,
• 3:27
  I'm
• 3:28
  worried
• 3:28
  about
• 3:28
  surviving
• 3:29
  on
• 3:29
  one
• 3:29
  salary,
• 3:30
  especially
• 3:30
  since
• 3:31
  I
• 3:31
  earn
• 3:31
  more
• 3:32
  than
• 3:32
  him,
• 3:32
  which
• 3:32
  means
• 3:33
  I
• 3:33
  might
• 3:33
  even
• 3:34
  owe
• 3:34
  him
• 3:34
  child
• 3:34
  support.
• 3:36
  And
• 3:36
  I
• 3:36
  could
• 3:36
  lose
• 3:36
  half
• 3:37
  my
• 3:37
  pension
• 3:37
  and
• 3:38
  half
• 3:38
  the
• 3:38
  house
• 3:38
  in
• 3:39
  the
• 3:39
  settlement.
• 3:40
  But
• 3:41
  I
• 3:41
  can't
• 3:41
  stay.
• 3:42
  I'm
• 3:42
  at
• 3:43
  the
• 3:43
  edge
• 3:43
  of
• 3:43
  emotional
• 3:44
  and
• 3:44
  physical
• 3:44
  collapse.
• 3:46
  Ralph,
• 3:47
  how
• 3:47
  do
• 3:47
  single
• 3:47
  parents
• 3:48
  survive
• 3:48
  on
• 3:48
  one
• 3:49
  income
• 3:49
  today?
• 3:50
  Is
• 3:50
  there
• 3:50
  anything
• 3:51
  you'd
• 3:51
  advise?
• 3:52
  Already
• 3:52
  working
• 3:52
  with
• 3:52
  a
• 3:53
  lawyer,
• 3:53
  by
• 3:53
  the
• 3:53
  way.
• 3:53
  Good.
• 3:54
  It's
• 3:54
  good
• 3:54
  you're
• 3:54
  working
• 3:54
  with
• 3:55
  a
• 3:55
  lawyer.
• 3:55
  But
• 3:56
  I'm
• 3:56
  also
• 3:56
  worried
• 3:56
  about
• 3:57
  whether
• 3:57
  he
• 3:57
  can
• 3:57
  even
• 3:58
  take
• 3:58
  care
• 3:58
  of
• 3:58
  our
• 3:58
  kids
• 3:59
  when
• 3:59
  they're
• 3:59
  with
• 4:00
  them.
• 4:00
  Thank
• 4:01
  you
• 4:01
  so
• 4:01
  much
• 4:01
  for
• 4:01
  listening
• 4:02
  to
• 4:02
  my
• 4:02
  question.
• 4:04
  This
• 4:04
  is
• 4:04
  one
• 4:04
  of
• 4:04
  those
• 4:05
  questions
• 4:05
  that
• 4:05
  has
• 4:05
  a
• 4:06
  lot
• 4:06
  of
• 4:06
  weight,
• 4:06
  doesn't
• 4:07
  it?
• 4:07
  But
• 4:08
  I
• 4:08
  want
• 4:08
  to
• 4:08
  start
• 4:08
  off
• 4:08
  with
• 4:09
  something.
• 4:09
  Guess
• 4:09
  what?
• 4:10
  You've
• 4:10
  been
• 4:10
  in
• 4:10
  a
• 4:10
  single
• 4:11
  income
• 4:11
  household
• 4:11
  the
• 4:12
  whole
• 4:12
  time.
• 4:13
  The
• 4:13
  difference
• 4:13
  is
• 4:13
  now
• 4:14
  you're
• 4:14
  actually
• 4:14
  going
• 4:14
  to
• 4:14
  get
• 4:14
  some
• 4:15
  ability
• 4:15
  to
• 4:15
  control
• 4:16
  it.
• 4:17
  So
• 4:17
  let's
• 4:17
  get
• 4:18
  into
• 4:18
  the
• 4:18
  nitty
• 4:18
  gritty
• 4:19
  today.
• 4:19
  The
• 4:20
  first
• 4:20
  thing
• 4:20
  when
• 4:20
  I
• 4:20
  work
• 4:20
  with
• 4:21
  anybody
• 4:21
  in
• 4:22
  this
• 4:22
  circumstance
• 4:23
  is
• 4:23
  know
• 4:23
  what
• 4:23
  you're
• 4:24
  actually
• 4:24
  working
• 4:25
  with.
• 4:26
  That's
• 4:26
  where
• 4:26
  we
• 4:27
  got
• 4:27
  to
• 4:27
  start.
• 4:27
  So
• 4:27
  my
• 4:28
  first
• 4:28
  encouragement
• 4:29
  to
• 4:29
  you
• 4:29
  is
• 4:29
  very
• 4:30
  granular.
• 4:31
  I
• 4:31
  want
• 4:31
  you
• 4:31
  to
• 4:31
  pull
• 4:32
  your
• 4:32
  actual
• 4:32
  take
• 4:33
  home
• 4:33
  pay
• 4:33
  and
• 4:33
  I
• 4:34
  want
• 4:34
  you
• 4:34
  to
• 4:34
  list
• 4:34
  every
• 4:35
  expense
• 4:35
  that
• 4:35
  you're
• 4:36
  currently
• 4:36
  covering.
• 4:36
  Because
• 4:37
  right
• 4:37
  now
• 4:37
  you're
• 4:38
  living
• 4:38
  in
• 4:38
  generalities
• 4:39
  and
• 4:40
  I
• 4:40
  want
• 4:40
  you
• 4:40
  to
• 4:40
  go
• 4:40
  look
• 4:40
  at
• 4:41
  the
• 4:41
  actual
• 4:41
  facts
• 4:42
  on
• 4:42
  the
• 4:42
  ground.
• 4:44
  Now
• 4:44
  the
• 4:44
  next
• 4:44
  thing
• 4:44
  you
• 4:44
  do,
• 4:45
  once
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  do
• 4:45
  that,
• 4:45
  then
• 4:46
  subtract
• 4:46
  what
• 4:46
  he
• 4:46
  generally
• 4:47
  contributed
• 4:48
  and
• 4:48
  be
• 4:49
  honest
• 4:49
  about
• 4:49
  it.
• 4:49
  Not
• 4:50
  generous.
• 4:50
  Because
• 4:50
  what
• 4:51
  I
• 4:51
  hear
• 4:51
  you
• 4:51
  saying
• 4:51
  is
• 4:52
  this
• 4:52
  bum
• 4:52
  doesn't
• 4:53
  do
• 4:53
  much.
• 4:55
  What's
• 4:55
  left
• 4:56
  is
• 4:56
  really
• 4:56
  where
• 4:57
  you're
• 4:57
  starting
• 4:57
  your
• 4:58
  budget.
• 4:58
  And
• 4:58
  I
• 4:58
  got
• 4:59
  a
• 4:59
  feeling
• 4:59
  you're
• 4:59
  going
• 4:59
  to
• 4:59
  find
• 5:00
  it's
• 5:00
  closer
• 5:00
  to
• 5:00
  manageable
• 5:01
  than
• 5:01
  that
• 5:01
  fear
• 5:02
  suggests.
• 5:03
  Now
• 5:03
  one
• 5:03
  of
• 5:03
  the
• 5:04
  things
• 5:04
  you
• 5:04
  can
• 5:04
  do
• 5:04
  practically,
• 5:05
  you
• 5:05
  mention
• 5:05
  you're
• 5:05
  working
• 5:05
  with
• 5:06
  an
• 5:06
  attorney.
• 5:06
  Ask
• 5:07
  an
• 5:07
  attorney
• 5:07
  about
• 5:07
  temporary
• 5:08
  support
• 5:08
  orders.
• 5:09
  The
• 5:09
  court
• 5:10
  often
• 5:10
  issue
• 5:10
  these
• 5:10
  during
• 5:11
  proceedings
• 5:11
  if
• 5:11
  you
• 5:12
  need
• 5:12
  it.
• 5:13
  But
• 5:13
  don't
• 5:13
  assume
• 5:14
  you're
• 5:14
  going
• 5:14
  to
• 5:14
  owe
• 5:14
  child
• 5:14
  support.
• 5:15
  The
• 5:15
  formula
• 5:16
  depends
• 5:16
  on
• 5:16
  custody
• 5:17
  splits
• 5:18
  incomes
• 5:18
  and
• 5:19
  who
• 5:19
  covers
• 5:19
  expenses.
• 5:20
  Again,
• 5:20
  I'm
• 5:20
  not
• 5:20
  an
• 5:20
  attorney.
• 5:21
  I'm
• 5:21
  not
• 5:21
  giving
• 5:21
  you
• 5:22
  legal
• 5:22
  advice.
• 5:22
  But
• 5:22
  don't
• 5:23
  just
• 5:23
  assume
• 5:23
  that,
• 5:24
  well,
• 5:24
  I'm
• 5:24
  going
• 5:24
  to
• 5:24
  have
• 5:24
  to
• 5:24
  pay.
• 5:25
  Get
• 5:26
  actual
• 5:26
  numbers
• 5:27
  from
• 5:27
  a
• 5:27
  family
• 5:27
  law
• 5:28
  attorney
• 5:28
  in
• 5:28
  your
• 5:29
  state
• 5:29
  before
• 5:30
  you
• 5:30
  catastrophize
• 5:31
  everything.
• 5:31
  It's
• 5:31
  easy
• 5:32
  to
• 5:32
  catastrophize
• 5:33
  anything.
• 5:34
  I
• 5:34
  get
• 5:34
  it.
• 5:35
  But
• 5:35
  budget,
• 5:36
  you
• 5:36
  can't
• 5:36
  plan
• 5:36
  what
• 5:36
  this
• 5:37
  is
• 5:37
  going
• 5:37
  to
• 5:37
  look
• 5:37
  like
• 5:38
  until
• 5:38
  you
• 5:38
  know
• 5:38
  the
• 5:39
  real
• 5:39
  numbers.
• 5:39
  So
• 5:39
  start
• 5:40
  there,
• 5:40
  go
• 5:40
  get
• 5:41
  the
• 5:41
  real
• 5:41
  numbers,
• 5:42
  black
• 5:42
  and
• 5:42
  white
• 5:42
  on
• 5:43
  paper.
• 5:44
  And
• 5:44
  then
• 5:44
  understand
• 5:44
  what
• 5:45
  the
• 5:45
  law
• 5:45
  actually
• 5:46
  says
• 5:46
  about
• 5:46
  your
• 5:46
  pension
• 5:47
  and
• 5:47
  the
• 5:47
  debt.
• 5:48
  I'm
• 5:48
  going
• 5:48
  to
• 5:49
  give
• 5:49
  you
• 5:49
  some
• 5:49
  basic
• 5:49
  ideas
• 5:50
  here
• 5:50
  of
• 5:50
  what
• 5:50
  I
• 5:51
  was
• 5:51
  able
• 5:51
  to
• 5:51
  find
• 5:51
  out.
• 5:52
  Pension
• 5:53
  divisions
• 5:53
  you
• 5:53
  send.
• 5:54
  Your
• 5:54
  husband
• 5:54
  has
• 5:54
  no
• 5:54
  pension.
• 5:55
  You
• 5:55
  do
• 5:56
  it
• 5:57
  depends
• 5:57
  on
• 5:57
  what
• 5:57
  the
• 5:58
  state
• 5:58
  law
• 5:58
  says.
• 5:59
  It's
• 5:59
  not
• 5:59
  necessary.
• 6:00
  Well,
• 6:00
  I
• 6:00
  earn
• 6:01
  more.
• 6:01
  Many
• 6:02
  states
• 6:02
  divide
• 6:02
  only
• 6:03
  the
• 6:03
  portion
• 6:03
  earned
• 6:03
  during
• 6:04
  the
• 6:04
  marriage,
• 6:04
  not
• 6:04
  the
• 6:04
  entire
• 6:05
  retirement.
• 6:05
  Again,
• 6:06
  I
• 6:06
  don't
• 6:06
  know
• 6:06
  your
• 6:06
  circumstances.
• 6:08
  There's
• 6:08
  a
• 6:08
  thing
• 6:08
  called
• 6:08
  a
• 6:09
  quadro.
• 6:09
  That's
• 6:10
  a
• 6:10
  qualified
• 6:10
  domestic
• 6:11
  relations
• 6:11
  order.
• 6:12
  I
• 6:12
  work
• 6:12
  with
• 6:13
  these
• 6:13
  with
• 6:13
  clients
• 6:13
  all
• 6:14
  the
• 6:14
  time.
• 6:14
  It's
• 6:14
  how
• 6:15
  the
• 6:15
  court
• 6:15
  does
• 6:15
  divides
• 6:15
  retirement
• 6:16
  accounts.
• 6:16
  But
• 6:17
  understand
• 6:17
  that.
• 6:18
  Go
• 6:18
  talk
• 6:18
  to
• 6:18
  your
• 6:19
  attorney
• 6:19
  before
• 6:20
  assuming
• 6:20
  you're
• 6:20
  going
• 6:20
  to
• 6:20
  lose
• 6:21
  half
• 6:21
  of
• 6:21
  it.
• 6:21
  Operate
• 6:22
  from
• 6:22
  a
• 6:22
  place
• 6:23
  of
• 6:23
  information
• 6:24
  and
• 6:24
  knowledge.
• 6:26
  But
• 6:26
  don't
• 6:26
  forget
• 6:27
  this.
• 6:27
  Also,
• 6:27
  you
• 6:28
  mentioned
• 6:28
  there's
• 6:28
  $60,000
• 6:29
  in
• 6:29
  debt
• 6:30
  plus
• 6:30
  credit
• 6:30
  card
• 6:31
  debt.
• 6:31
  That's
• 6:32
  not
• 6:32
  going
• 6:32
  to
• 6:32
  magically
• 6:32
  disappear
• 6:33
  when
• 6:33
  you
• 6:33
  get
• 6:33
  divorced.
• 6:34
  What
• 6:34
  I
• 6:35
  have
• 6:35
  found
• 6:35
  is
• 6:36
  courts
• 6:36
  usually
• 6:37
  assign
• 6:37
  marital
• 6:37
  debt
• 6:38
  to
• 6:38
  the
• 6:38
  spouse
• 6:38
  who
• 6:38
  incurred
• 6:39
  it.
• 6:39
  But
• 6:40
  here's
• 6:40
  the
• 6:40
  thing
• 6:40
  about
• 6:40
  that.
• 6:41
  You
• 6:41
  got
• 6:42
  to
• 6:42
  have
• 6:42
  that
• 6:42
  documentation
• 6:43
  because
• 6:43
  your
• 6:44
  husband
• 6:44
  might,
• 6:44
  and
• 6:44
  I'm
• 6:44
  not
• 6:45
  picking
• 6:45
  on
• 6:45
  your
• 6:45
  husband.
• 6:45
  I
• 6:45
  don't
• 6:46
  know
• 6:46
  the
• 6:46
  man.
• 6:46
  But
• 6:46
  your
• 6:47
  husband
• 6:47
  might
• 6:47
  say,
• 6:47
  well,
• 6:47
  this
• 6:48
  was
• 6:48
  all
• 6:48
  marital
• 6:48
  debt.
• 6:48
  This
• 6:49
  was
• 6:49
  for
• 6:49
  this,
• 6:49
  this
• 6:49
  and
• 6:49
  this.
• 6:50
  So
• 6:50
  gather
• 6:51
  the
• 6:51
  information.
• 6:52
  Get
• 6:53
  together
• 6:53
  your
• 6:54
  account
• 6:54
  statements,
• 6:55
  your
• 6:55
  credit
• 6:55
  card
• 6:56
  bills,
• 6:56
  those
• 6:57
  loan
• 6:57
  records,
• 6:58
  and
• 6:58
  yes,
• 6:58
  even
• 6:58
  your
• 6:59
  spending
• 6:59
  history.
• 7:00
  The
• 7:01
  legal
• 7:01
  outcome
• 7:01
  isn't
• 7:02
  set
• 7:02
  yet.
• 7:03
  Information
• 7:03
  is
• 7:04
  going
• 7:04
  to
• 7:04
  be
• 7:04
  how
• 7:04
  you
• 7:05
  protect
• 7:05
  yourself
• 7:05
  right
• 7:06
  now.
• 7:07
  But
• 7:07
  now
• 7:07
  let's
• 7:07
  get
• 7:07
  super
• 7:08
  practical.
• 7:09
  So
• 7:09
  you've
• 7:09
  done
• 7:09
  the
• 7:09
  hard
• 7:10
  things.
• 7:10
  You
• 7:10
  made
• 7:10
  the
• 7:10
  list
• 7:10
  of
• 7:11
  expenses,
• 7:11
  you've
• 7:11
  talked
• 7:12
  to
• 7:12
  your
• 7:12
  attorney.
• 7:12
  You
• 7:12
  understand
• 7:13
  what
• 7:13
  that's
• 7:13
  going
• 7:13
  to
• 7:13
  look
• 7:14
  like.
• 7:14
  But
• 7:14
  now
• 7:14
  you've
• 7:15
  got
• 7:15
  to
• 7:15
  build
• 7:15
  what
• 7:15
  I'm
• 7:16
  going
• 7:16
  to
• 7:16
  call
• 7:16
  a
• 7:16
  single
• 7:17
  lien
• 7:17
  income
• 7:18
  budget.
• 7:19
  But
• 7:19
  then
• 7:19
  you
• 7:20
  can
• 7:20
  also
• 7:20
  get
• 7:20
  ahead
• 7:20
  of
• 7:20
  custody.
• 7:21
  I
• 7:21
  want
• 7:22
  you
• 7:22
  to
• 7:22
  start
• 7:22
  your
• 7:22
  budget
• 7:23
  with
• 7:23
  the
• 7:23
  non
• 7:23
  negotiables.
• 7:24
  This
• 7:25
  is
• 7:25
  going
• 7:25
  to
• 7:25
  be
• 7:25
  like
• 7:25
  a
• 7:25
  triage
• 7:26
  type
• 7:26
  situation.
• 7:27
  Housing,
• 7:28
  utilities,
• 7:29
  groceries,
• 7:30
  transportation.
• 7:31
  And
• 7:32
  those
• 7:32
  kids.
• 7:33
  You
• 7:33
  might
• 7:33
  have
• 7:33
  to
• 7:34
  cut
• 7:34
  some
• 7:34
  other
• 7:34
  things
• 7:34
  out
• 7:35
  right
• 7:35
  now.
• 7:35
  That
• 7:36
  doesn't
• 7:36
  mean
• 7:36
  you're
• 7:36
  failing.
• 7:37
  It
• 7:37
  means
• 7:37
  you're
• 7:37
  resetting.
• 7:38
  You're
• 7:38
  living
• 7:39
  in
• 7:39
  the
• 7:39
  reality
• 7:40
  of
• 7:40
  where
• 7:40
  you
• 7:40
  are
• 7:40
  today.
• 7:41
  You
• 7:42
  may
• 7:42
  have
• 7:42
  some
• 7:42
  childcare
• 7:43
  costs.
• 7:43
  Talk
• 7:43
  to
• 7:44
  your
• 7:44
  accountant.
• 7:44
  Maybe
• 7:45
  you
• 7:45
  apply
• 7:46
  for
• 7:46
  the
• 7:46
  dependent
• 7:46
  care
• 7:47
  tax
• 7:47
  credit.
• 7:48
  If
• 7:48
  things
• 7:49
  are
• 7:49
  real
• 7:49
  tight,
• 7:49
  there's
• 7:50
  snap,
• 7:50
  there's
• 7:50
  chip,
• 7:51
  there's
• 7:51
  local
• 7:52
  housing
• 7:52
  assistance.
• 7:53
  Those
• 7:53
  things
• 7:54
  exist
• 7:54
  for
• 7:54
  this
• 7:54
  transaction.
• 7:55
  For
• 7:56
  this
• 7:56
  particular
• 7:56
  transition
• 7:57
  you're
• 7:57
  in.
• 7:57
  There's
• 7:58
  no
• 7:58
  Shame
• 7:58
  in
• 7:58
  using
• 7:59
  them.
• 7:59
  That's
• 8:00
  why
• 8:00
  they're
• 8:00
  there.
• 8:01
  I
• 8:01
  get
• 8:01
  sad
• 8:01
  sometimes
• 8:02
  when
• 8:02
  I
• 8:02
  hear
• 8:03
  about
• 8:03
  single
• 8:03
  parents
• 8:04
  who
• 8:04
  don't
• 8:04
  go
• 8:04
  and,
• 8:05
  and
• 8:05
  use
• 8:05
  the
• 8:05
  system.
• 8:05
  Because
• 8:05
  if
• 8:06
  you're
• 8:06
  like,
• 8:06
  well,
• 8:06
  Ralph,
• 8:06
  I
• 8:07
  don't
• 8:07
  want
• 8:07
  to
• 8:07
  use
• 8:07
  the
• 8:07
  system.
• 8:08
  The
• 8:09
  system
• 8:09
  is
• 8:09
  designed
• 8:10
  to
• 8:10
  be
• 8:10
  a
• 8:10
  bridge
• 8:11
  to
• 8:11
  help
• 8:11
  you
• 8:11
  get
• 8:11
  where
• 8:12
  you
• 8:12
  need
• 8:12
  to
• 8:12
  be.
• 8:13
  But
• 8:13
  let's
• 8:13
  talk
• 8:14
  about
• 8:14
  child
• 8:14
  support.
• 8:15
  Child
• 8:15
  support
• 8:16
  formulas
• 8:16
  are
• 8:17
  math.
• 8:18
  So
• 8:18
  many
• 8:19
  people
• 8:19
  going
• 8:19
  through
• 8:19
  divorce
• 8:20
  get
• 8:20
  hung
• 8:20
  up
• 8:20
  on
• 8:21
  this.
• 8:21
  They
• 8:21
  say,
• 8:21
  well,
• 8:21
  you
• 8:22
  know,
• 8:22
  this
• 8:22
  is
• 8:22
  some
• 8:22
  kind
• 8:22
  of
• 8:23
  judgment.
• 8:23
  It's
• 8:24
  not
• 8:24
  punishment,
• 8:25
  it's
• 8:25
  a
• 8:26
  math
• 8:26
  equation.
• 8:28
  We
• 8:28
  talked
• 8:28
  about
• 8:28
  custody.
• 8:29
  I'm
• 8:29
  not
• 8:29
  even
• 8:29
  going
• 8:29
  to
• 8:30
  talk
• 8:30
  about
• 8:30
  custody
• 8:30
  today
• 8:31
  because
• 8:31
  I
• 8:31
  have
• 8:31
  no
• 8:31
  idea
• 8:32
  how
• 8:32
  that's
• 8:32
  going
• 8:32
  to
• 8:32
  work
• 8:33
  out
• 8:33
  for
• 8:33
  you.
• 8:34
  But
• 8:34
  document
• 8:35
  those
• 8:35
  concerns.
• 8:36
  Make
• 8:36
  sure
• 8:36
  you
• 8:37
  mention
• 8:37
  those
• 8:37
  to
• 8:37
  your
• 8:37
  attorney.
• 8:39
  I'm
• 8:39
  going
• 8:39
  to
• 8:39
  make
• 8:39
  an
• 8:39
  assumption
• 8:40
  that
• 8:40
  your
• 8:40
  attorney
• 8:40
  been
• 8:41
  through
• 8:41
  this
• 8:41
  before.
• 8:42
  Child
• 8:42
  welfare
• 8:43
  is
• 8:43
  serious,
• 8:44
  so
• 8:44
  make
• 8:45
  sure
• 8:45
  you're
• 8:45
  documenting
• 8:46
  those
• 8:46
  things.
• 8:46
  But
• 8:47
  overall,
• 8:48
  get
• 8:48
  that
• 8:48
  lean
• 8:49
  budget
• 8:49
  on
• 8:49
  one
• 8:50
  income
• 8:50
  because
• 8:50
  that's
• 8:50
  something
• 8:51
  you
• 8:51
  can
• 8:51
  control.
• 8:52
  The
• 8:52
  other
• 8:52
  things
• 8:53
  might
• 8:53
  be
• 8:53
  a
• 8:53
  little
• 8:53
  bit
• 8:53
  out
• 8:53
  of
• 8:53
  control.
• 8:55
  But
• 8:55
  here's
• 8:55
  the
• 8:55
  thing
• 8:56
  we
• 8:56
  mentioned
• 8:56
  that
• 8:56
  we're
• 8:56
  catastrophize.
• 8:58
  You
• 8:58
  got
• 8:59
  to
• 8:59
  give
• 8:59
  yourself
• 8:59
  permission
• 9:00
  to
• 9:00
  think
• 9:00
  past
• 9:00
  the
• 9:00
  worst
• 9:01
  case.
• 9:01
  Right
• 9:01
  now
• 9:02
  you're
• 9:02
  living
• 9:02
  in
• 9:02
  this
• 9:02
  worst
• 9:03
  case
• 9:03
  scenario.
• 9:03
  But
• 9:04
  friend,
• 9:04
  listen,
• 9:04
  you've
• 9:05
  been
• 9:05
  living
• 9:05
  out
• 9:05
  the
• 9:05
  worst
• 9:06
  case.
• 9:06
  You
• 9:07
  said
• 9:07
  it
• 9:07
  yourself.
• 9:08
  I've
• 9:08
  been
• 9:08
  covering
• 9:09
  everything,
• 9:09
  Ralph.
• 9:09
  I've
• 9:10
  been
• 9:10
  doing
• 9:10
  the
• 9:10
  bills,
• 9:10
  I've
• 9:11
  been
• 9:11
  taking
• 9:11
  care
• 9:11
  of
• 9:11
  the
• 9:12
  kids.
• 9:13
  Focus
• 9:14
  on
• 9:14
  what
• 9:15
  you
• 9:15
  can
• 9:15
  control,
• 9:16
  plan
• 9:16
  for
• 9:16
  those
• 9:16
  things.
• 9:19
  Other
• 9:19
  single
• 9:20
  parents
• 9:20
  are
• 9:20
  doing
• 9:20
  this
• 9:21
  too.
• 9:21
  I'm
• 9:21
  going
• 9:21
  to
• 9:21
  tell
• 9:21
  you
• 9:21
  example,
• 9:22
  my
• 9:22
  mom
• 9:22
  did
• 9:23
  this
• 9:23
  when
• 9:24
  my
• 9:24
  mom
• 9:24
  and
• 9:24
  dad
• 9:24
  split
• 9:25
  up.
• 9:25
  Like
• 9:25
  I
• 9:25
  mentioned
• 9:26
  the
• 9:26
  other
• 9:26
  day
• 9:26
  on
• 9:26
  the
• 9:26
  show,
• 9:26
  my
• 9:27
  mom
• 9:27
  kept
• 9:27
  her
• 9:27
  own
• 9:27
  checkbook.
• 9:28
  She
• 9:28
  figured
• 9:29
  out
• 9:29
  how
• 9:29
  to
• 9:29
  do
• 9:29
  that.
• 9:30
  You're
• 9:31
  going
• 9:31
  to
• 9:31
  do
• 9:31
  the
• 9:31
  same
• 9:31
  thing.
• 9:32
  You're
• 9:32
  going
• 9:32
  to
• 9:32
  make
• 9:33
  this
• 9:33
  work.
• 9:33
  But
• 9:34
  go
• 9:34
  enlist
• 9:34
  the
• 9:34
  help
• 9:35
  of
• 9:35
  people
• 9:35
  like
• 9:35
  me
• 9:36
  or
• 9:36
  an
• 9:36
  attorney
• 9:37
  or
• 9:37
  some
• 9:38
  kind
• 9:38
  of
• 9:38
  financial
• 9:38
  planner.
• 9:40
  I'm
• 9:40
  not
• 9:40
  going
• 9:40
  to
• 9:40
  tell
• 9:41
  you
• 9:41
  that
• 9:41
  this
• 9:41
  isn't
• 9:41
  going
• 9:41
  to
• 9:41
  be
• 9:42
  hard.
• 9:42
  This
• 9:42
  may
• 9:43
  be
• 9:43
  the
• 9:43
  hardest
• 9:44
  thing
• 9:44
  that
• 9:44
  you
• 9:44
  will
• 9:44
  ever
• 9:45
  do.
• 9:46
  But
• 9:46
  remember
• 9:47
  this,
• 9:48
  hard
• 9:48
  and
• 9:49
  impossible
• 9:49
  are
• 9:50
  not
• 9:50
  the
• 9:50
  same
• 9:50
  thing.
• 9:52
  The
• 9:52
  question
• 9:52
  isn't
• 9:53
  whether
• 9:53
  you
• 9:53
  can
• 9:54
  survive
• 9:54
  on
• 9:54
  one
• 9:54
  income.
• 9:56
  It's
• 9:56
  whether
• 9:56
  you're
• 9:56
  going
• 9:57
  to
• 9:57
  give
• 9:57
  yourself
• 9:57
  the
• 9:57
  chance
• 9:58
  to
• 9:58
  find
• 9:58
  out.
• 9:59
  And
• 9:59
  you
• 9:59
  owe
• 10:00
  it
• 10:00
  to
• 10:00
  yourself
• 10:00
  to
• 10:00
  do
• 10:01
  that.
• 10:01
  And
• 10:02
  the
• 10:02
  reason
• 10:02
  it
• 10:02
  is
• 10:02
  because
• 10:03
  you
• 10:03
  said
• 10:03
  something
• 10:04
  in
• 10:04
  your
• 10:04
  question.
• 10:06
  You
• 10:06
  said
• 10:06
  you're
• 10:06
  on
• 10:06
  the
• 10:06
  edge
• 10:07
  of
• 10:07
  emotional
• 10:08
  and
• 10:08
  physical
• 10:08
  collapse.
• 10:10
  And
• 10:10
  I
• 10:10
  just
• 10:10
  want
• 10:10
  to
• 10:10
  park
• 10:11
  there
• 10:11
  for
• 10:11
  a
• 10:11
  second
• 10:12
  because
• 10:13
  we
• 10:13
  can
• 10:13
  run
• 10:13
  past
• 10:14
  that
• 10:15
  and
• 10:15
  I
• 10:15
  can't
• 10:16
  fix
• 10:16
  it
• 10:16
  with
• 10:16
  some
• 10:16
  magical
• 10:17
  Bible
• 10:17
  verse.
• 10:19
  Because
• 10:19
  I
• 10:19
  know
• 10:19
  something
• 10:20
  about
• 10:20
  what
• 10:20
  it
• 10:21
  took
• 10:21
  that
• 10:21
  courage
• 10:21
  to
• 10:22
  write
• 10:22
  that.
• 10:22
  It
• 10:22
  took
• 10:23
  so
• 10:23
  much
• 10:23
  courage
• 10:23
  to
• 10:24
  put
• 10:24
  that
• 10:24
  on
• 10:24
  paper.
• 10:26
  And
• 10:26
  I'm
• 10:26
  going
• 10:26
  to
• 10:26
  tell
• 10:27
  you
• 10:27
  something
• 10:27
  right
• 10:27
  now.
• 10:28
  Faith
• 10:28
  doesn't
• 10:29
  promise
• 10:29
  a
• 10:29
  clean
• 10:29
  divorce
• 10:30
  settlement.
• 10:31
  It
• 10:31
  doesn't
• 10:31
  guarantee
• 10:32
  that
• 10:32
  your
• 10:32
  husband's
• 10:33
  going
• 10:33
  to
• 10:33
  all
• 10:33
  of
• 10:33
  a
• 10:33
  sudden
• 10:34
  become
• 10:34
  responsible.
• 10:35
  It
• 10:35
  doesn't
• 10:35
  mean
• 10:35
  the
• 10:36
  kids
• 10:36
  and
• 10:36
  you
• 10:36
  aren't
• 10:37
  going
• 10:37
  to
• 10:37
  have
• 10:37
  hard
• 10:38
  days.
• 10:39
  But
• 10:39
  here's
• 10:40
  what
• 10:40
  scripture
• 10:40
  does
• 10:41
  say.
• 10:41
  It
• 10:42
  says
• 10:42
  very
• 10:42
  clearly
• 10:43
  that
• 10:43
  God
• 10:43
  sees
• 10:44
  the
• 10:44
  oppressed.
• 10:45
  God
• 10:46
  doesn't
• 10:46
  look
• 10:46
  away
• 10:46
  from
• 10:46
  injustice
• 10:47
  inside
• 10:48
  a
• 10:48
  marriage
• 10:48
  any
• 10:48
  more
• 10:49
  than
• 10:49
  outside
• 10:49
  of
• 10:50
  one.
• 10:50
  And
• 10:51
  if
• 10:51
  you're
• 10:51
  at
• 10:51
  the
• 10:51
  point
• 10:52
  where
• 10:52
  you
• 10:52
  need
• 10:52
  to
• 10:52
  leave
• 10:53
  an
• 10:53
  abusive
• 10:53
  situation,
• 10:54
  that's
• 10:55
  not
• 10:55
  a
• 10:55
  failure
• 10:55
  of
• 10:56
  faith.
• 10:56
  So
• 10:56
  don't
• 10:56
  let
• 10:56
  anybody
• 10:57
  tell
• 10:57
  you
• 10:57
  that
• 10:58
  staying
• 10:58
  in
• 10:59
  one
• 10:59
  is
• 10:59
  not
• 10:59
  a
• 11:00
  virtue.
• 11:00
  If
• 11:01
  you
• 11:01
  are
• 11:01
  being
• 11:01
  abused.
• 11:02
  If
• 11:02
  you're
• 11:02
  listening
• 11:03
  to
• 11:03
  this
• 11:03
  right
• 11:03
  now
• 11:03
  and
• 11:04
  you're
• 11:04
  being
• 11:04
  abused,
• 11:05
  both
• 11:05
  mentally,
• 11:05
  physically
• 11:06
  or
• 11:06
  any
• 11:06
  of
• 11:06
  those
• 11:06
  things,
• 11:07
  don't
• 11:07
  let
• 11:07
  any
• 11:08
  faith
• 11:08
  person
• 11:09
  tell
• 11:09
  you
• 11:09
  need
• 11:09
  to
• 11:09
  stick
• 11:10
  in
• 11:10
  there,
• 11:10
  because
• 11:10
  you
• 11:10
  don't.
• 11:13
  You
• 11:13
  asked
• 11:13
  how
• 11:13
  single
• 11:14
  parents
• 11:14
  survive
• 11:15
  and
• 11:16
  I've
• 11:16
  given
• 11:16
  you
• 11:17
  real
• 11:17
  practical
• 11:17
  answers.
• 11:18
  Budgets,
• 11:18
  lawyers,
• 11:19
  tax
• 11:19
  credits.
• 11:20
  But
• 11:21
  the
• 11:21
  deeper
• 11:21
  answer
• 11:22
  is
• 11:22
  a
• 11:22
  question
• 11:22
  of
• 11:23
  faith.
• 11:24
  They
• 11:24
  survive
• 11:25
  because
• 11:25
  they
• 11:25
  stop
• 11:26
  waiting
• 11:26
  for
• 11:26
  someone
• 11:26
  else
• 11:27
  to
• 11:27
  save
• 11:27
  them.
• 11:29
  That's
• 11:29
  not
• 11:29
  a
• 11:29
  lack
• 11:30
  of
• 11:30
  faith.
• 11:30
  That's
• 11:31
  faith
• 11:31
  in
• 11:31
  action.
• 11:32
  Listen,
• 11:32
  you've
• 11:32
  been
• 11:33
  holding
• 11:33
  this
• 11:33
  family
• 11:33
  together.
• 11:35
  You've
• 11:35
  been
• 11:35
  putting
• 11:36
  in
• 11:36
  your
• 11:36
  pension,
• 11:36
  you've
• 11:37
  been
• 11:37
  building
• 11:37
  plans
• 11:38
  and
• 11:38
  you've
• 11:38
  been
• 11:38
  making
• 11:38
  the
• 11:39
  payments.
• 11:40
  God
• 11:41
  didn't
• 11:41
  give
• 11:41
  you
• 11:41
  that
• 11:41
  capacity
• 11:42
  by
• 11:42
  accident.
• 11:44
  The
• 11:44
  courage
• 11:44
  that
• 11:45
  you
• 11:45
  took
• 11:45
  to
• 11:45
  send
• 11:46
  this
• 11:46
  question,
• 11:46
  that's
• 11:47
  the
• 11:47
  same
• 11:47
  courage
• 11:48
  that's
• 11:48
  going
• 11:48
  to
• 11:48
  get
• 11:48
  you
• 11:48
  through
• 11:49
  the
• 11:49
  next
• 11:49
  year.
• 11:49
  And
• 11:49
  I
• 11:50
  am
• 11:50
  confident
• 11:50
  of
• 11:50
  this.
• 11:52
  You
• 11:52
  will
• 11:52
  get
• 11:52
  through
• 11:52
  next
• 11:52
  year.
• 11:53
  It
• 11:53
  might
• 11:53
  not
• 11:53
  be
• 11:54
  without
• 11:54
  tears,
• 11:55
  it
• 11:55
  might
• 11:55
  not
• 11:56
  be
• 11:56
  without
• 11:56
  hard
• 11:56
  months,
• 11:57
  but
• 11:57
  you
• 11:57
  are
• 11:58
  going
• 11:58
  to
• 11:58
  get
• 11:58
  through
• 11:58
  it.
• 11:59
  And
• 11:59
  that's
• 11:59
  what
• 11:59
  I
• 11:59
  want
• 11:59
  you
• 12:00
  to
• 12:00
  hold
• 12:00
  on
• 12:00
  to
• 12:00
  today.
• 12:02
  It's
• 12:02
  not
• 12:02
  about
• 12:03
  certainly
• 12:03
  I
• 12:03
  can't
• 12:03
  tell
• 12:03
  you
• 12:04
  here's
• 12:04
  what's
• 12:04
  going
• 12:04
  to
• 12:04
  happen
• 12:04
  and
• 12:05
  here's
• 12:05
  what
• 12:05
  is
• 12:05
  going
• 12:05
  to
• 12:05
  play
• 12:06
  out.
• 12:06
  But
• 12:06
  I
• 12:06
  know
• 12:06
  this.
• 12:08
  You
• 12:08
  will
• 12:08
  get
• 12:09
  through
• 12:09
  because
• 12:09
  you're
• 12:09
  not
• 12:10
  doing
• 12:10
  it
• 12:10
  alone.
• 12:11
  Because
• 12:12
  I
• 12:12
  can
• 12:12
  see
• 12:12
  it,
• 12:13
  you've
• 12:13
  already
• 12:13
  been
• 12:13
  the
• 12:13
  financial
• 12:14
  backbone
• 12:14
  of
• 12:14
  this
• 12:15
  family,
• 12:16
  but
• 12:16
  now
• 12:17
  you
• 12:17
  get
• 12:17
  to
• 12:17
  keep
• 12:17
  what
• 12:17
  you
• 12:18
  build.
• 12:19
  So
• 12:19
  getting
• 12:19
  real
• 12:20
  practical,
• 12:20
  your
• 12:20
  wins
• 12:21
  for
• 12:21
  today
• 12:21
  and
• 12:21
  they
• 12:21
  might
• 12:21
  not
• 12:22
  feel
• 12:22
  like
• 12:22
  wins,
• 12:22
  I
• 12:22
  get
• 12:23
  it,
• 12:23
  this
• 12:23
  is
• 12:23
  a
• 12:23
  tough
• 12:24
  situation.
• 12:25
  But
• 12:25
  I
• 12:26
  want
• 12:26
  you
• 12:26
  to
• 12:26
  go
• 12:26
  back
• 12:26
  and
• 12:27
  write
• 12:27
  down
• 12:27
  your
• 12:27
  pay
• 12:28
  and
• 12:28
  your
• 12:28
  expenses
• 12:29
  you're
• 12:29
  doing.
• 12:29
  Don't
• 12:30
  budget
• 12:30
  it
• 12:30
  yet,
• 12:30
  just
• 12:31
  plan
• 12:31
  it.
• 12:31
  Build.
• 12:32
  That
• 12:32
  list
• 12:33
  just
• 12:33
  needs
• 12:33
  to
• 12:33
  be
• 12:33
  one
• 12:34
  simple
• 12:34
  page.
• 12:34
  Your
• 12:35
  mortgage,
• 12:35
  your
• 12:35
  rent,
• 12:36
  your
• 12:36
  utilities,
• 12:36
  the
• 12:37
  car
• 12:37
  Payment.
• 12:37
  You
• 12:37
  get
• 12:38
  the
• 12:38
  idea
• 12:39
  that
• 12:39
  one
• 12:39
  list
• 12:39
  is
• 12:40
  going
• 12:40
  to
• 12:40
  show
• 12:40
  you
• 12:40
  what
• 12:40
  you're
• 12:41
  actually
• 12:41
  working
• 12:41
  with.
• 12:43
  And
• 12:43
  I
• 12:43
  would
• 12:43
  be
• 12:43
  willing
• 12:43
  to
• 12:43
  bet
• 12:44
  something
• 12:45
  it's
• 12:45
  going
• 12:45
  to
• 12:45
  be
• 12:45
  less
• 12:46
  terrifying
• 12:46
  than
• 12:46
  the
• 12:47
  fear
• 12:47
  that's
• 12:47
  going
• 12:47
  on
• 12:47
  in
• 12:47
  your
• 12:48
  head.
• 12:49
  But
• 12:49
  I
• 12:49
  want
• 12:49
  to
• 12:49
  encourage
• 12:50
  you
• 12:50
  with
• 12:50
  a
• 12:50
  little
• 12:50
  Bible
• 12:50
  verse.
• 12:51
  This
• 12:51
  one's
• 12:51
  from
• 12:51
  the
• 12:51
  book
• 12:52
  of
• 12:52
  Psalms,
• 12:52
  chapter
• 12:53
  34:18.
• 12:54
  It
• 12:54
  says
• 12:54
  the
• 12:55
  Lord
• 12:55
  is
• 12:55
  close
• 12:55
  to
• 12:56
  the
• 12:56
  brokenhearted.
• 12:57
  He
• 12:58
  rescues
• 12:58
  those
• 12:58
  whose
• 12:59
  spirits
• 12:59
  are
• 12:59
  crushed.
• 13:01
  And
• 13:01
  I'm
• 13:02
  feeling
• 13:02
  right
• 13:02
  now
• 13:02
  your
• 13:02
  spirit's
• 13:03
  crushed.
• 13:04
  And
• 13:04
  like
• 13:05
  I
• 13:05
  said
• 13:05
  at
• 13:05
  the
• 13:05
  beginning,
• 13:05
  you're
• 13:05
  not
• 13:06
  asking
• 13:06
  a
• 13:06
  financial
• 13:07
  question.
• 13:08
  You're
• 13:08
  really
• 13:08
  asking
• 13:09
  me
• 13:09
  if
• 13:09
  you're
• 13:09
  going
• 13:09
  to
• 13:09
  be
• 13:10
  okay.
• 13:11
  And
• 13:12
  that
• 13:12
  verse
• 13:12
  doesn't
• 13:12
  dodge
• 13:13
  that
• 13:13
  part.
• 13:15
  But
• 13:15
  here's
• 13:15
  the
• 13:15
  other
• 13:16
  side
• 13:16
  of
• 13:16
  this.
• 13:16
  God
• 13:16
  isn't
• 13:17
  standing
• 13:17
  in
• 13:17
  a
• 13:17
  distance
• 13:18
  just
• 13:18
  watching.
• 13:19
  What
• 13:20
  does
• 13:20
  it
• 13:20
  say?
• 13:20
  He's
• 13:20
  close
• 13:21
  to
• 13:21
  the
• 13:21
  broken
• 13:21
  heart.
• 13:22
  He's
• 13:22
  close
• 13:22
  to
• 13:22
  you
• 13:23
  right
• 13:23
  now.
• 13:24
  He's
• 13:24
  right
• 13:25
  there
• 13:25
  with
• 13:25
  you
• 13:25
  in
• 13:25
  the
• 13:25
  fear.
• 13:26
  He's
• 13:26
  right
• 13:26
  there
• 13:27
  with
• 13:27
  you
• 13:27
  in
• 13:27
  the
• 13:27
  exhaustion.
• 13:28
  And
• 13:28
  it's
• 13:29
  right
• 13:29
  there
• 13:29
  with
• 13:29
  that
• 13:29
  collapse
• 13:30
  that
• 13:30
  you're
• 13:30
  describing.
• 13:32
  Just
• 13:33
  remember
• 13:34
  that's
• 13:34
  the
• 13:34
  foundation
• 13:35
  that
• 13:36
  this
• 13:36
  plan
• 13:36
  gets
• 13:36
  built
• 13:37
  on.
• 13:37
  He's
• 13:38
  right
• 13:38
  there
• 13:38
  with
• 13:38
  you.
• 13:39
  How
• 13:39
  about
• 13:39
  we
• 13:39
  pray
• 13:39
  together?
• 13:41
  Heavenly
• 13:41
  Father,
• 13:43
  this
• 13:43
  listener
• 13:43
  today
• 13:44
  is
• 13:44
  caring
• 13:44
  more
• 13:44
  than
• 13:45
  most
• 13:45
  people
• 13:45
  will
• 13:45
  ever
• 13:46
  know.
• 13:48
  She's
• 13:48
  kept
• 13:48
  a
• 13:48
  household
• 13:49
  running,
• 13:49
  Lord.
• 13:49
  She's
• 13:50
  raised
• 13:50
  those
• 13:50
  kids
• 13:51
  and
• 13:51
  she's
• 13:51
  held
• 13:51
  herself
• 13:52
  together
• 13:54
  while
• 13:54
  the
• 13:54
  person
• 13:54
  who
• 13:55
  was
• 13:55
  supposed
• 13:55
  to
• 13:55
  be
• 13:55
  her
• 13:55
  partner
• 13:56
  made
• 13:56
  it
• 13:56
  harder
• 13:57
  every
• 13:57
  single
• 13:57
  day.
• 13:59
  So
• 13:59
  right
• 13:59
  now,
• 13:59
  Lord,
• 14:00
  I
• 14:00
  ask
• 14:00
  you
• 14:00
  to
• 14:00
  give
• 14:00
  her
• 14:01
  clarity
• 14:01
  in
• 14:02
  the
• 14:02
  number
• 14:02
  she
• 14:02
  needs
• 14:03
  to
• 14:03
  see.
• 14:04
  Help
• 14:04
  her
• 14:04
  to
• 14:04
  find
• 14:05
  that
• 14:05
  good
• 14:05
  attorney
• 14:06
  who
• 14:06
  gives
• 14:06
  her
• 14:06
  honest
• 14:07
  answers
• 14:07
  and
• 14:08
  give
• 14:08
  her
• 14:08
  courage
• 14:08
  to
• 14:09
  take
• 14:09
  the
• 14:09
  next
• 14:09
  step,
• 14:10
  even
• 14:11
  if
• 14:11
  it's
• 14:11
  just
• 14:11
  one
• 14:11
  phone
• 14:12
  call.
• 14:13
  I
• 14:13
  ask
• 14:13
  for
• 14:14
  your
• 14:14
  protection
• 14:14
  for
• 14:14
  her
• 14:14
  kids
• 14:15
  during
• 14:15
  this
• 14:15
  season.
• 14:15
  It's
• 14:16
  going
• 14:16
  to
• 14:16
  be
• 14:16
  a
• 14:16
  tough
• 14:16
  situation,
• 14:17
  Lord.
• 14:17
  And
• 14:18
  protect
• 14:18
  her
• 14:18
  from
• 14:18
  that
• 14:19
  spiral
• 14:19
  of
• 14:19
  that
• 14:20
  worst
• 14:20
  case
• 14:20
  thinking
• 14:21
  that
• 14:21
  makes
• 14:21
  hard
• 14:22
  feel
• 14:22
  impossible.
• 14:24
  But
• 14:24
  in
• 14:24
  all
• 14:25
  things,
• 14:25
  Lord,
• 14:25
  remind
• 14:26
  her
• 14:26
  of
• 14:26
  what
• 14:26
  she's
• 14:27
  already
• 14:27
  built.
• 14:27
  And
• 14:27
  you've
• 14:28
  built
• 14:28
  it
• 14:28
  with
• 14:28
  her
• 14:29
  because
• 14:29
  she's
• 14:30
  built
• 14:30
  more
• 14:30
  than
• 14:30
  she
• 14:31
  knows
• 14:31
  and
• 14:31
  she's
• 14:32
  stronger
• 14:32
  than
• 14:32
  she
• 14:32
  knows,
• 14:33
  Lord.
• 14:33
  And
• 14:33
  we
• 14:34
  ask
• 14:34
  this
• 14:34
  in
• 14:34
  Jesus
• 14:35
  name.
• 14:36
  Amen,
• 14:39
  friend.
• 14:39
  I
• 14:39
  want
• 14:39
  to
• 14:40
  speak
• 14:40
  to
• 14:40
  you
• 14:40
  directly
• 14:41
  because
• 14:41
  maybe
• 14:42
  you're
• 14:42
  going
• 14:42
  through
• 14:42
  this
• 14:42
  as
• 14:43
  well.
• 14:44
  You
• 14:44
  didn't
• 14:45
  get
• 14:45
  to
• 14:45
  where
• 14:45
  you
• 14:45
  are
• 14:45
  by
• 14:45
  being
• 14:46
  weak.
• 14:47
  You
• 14:47
  got
• 14:47
  here
• 14:48
  by
• 14:48
  finally
• 14:48
  choosing
• 14:49
  yourself.
• 14:52
  And
• 14:52
  you're
• 14:52
  going
• 14:52
  to
• 14:52
  be
• 14:53
  running
• 14:53
  on
• 14:53
  a
• 14:53
  one
• 14:53
  income
• 14:54
  household.
• 14:54
  Maybe.
• 14:55
  But
• 14:55
  you
• 14:55
  can
• 14:56
  make
• 14:56
  this
• 14:56
  work.
• 14:57
  So
• 14:57
  don't
• 14:57
  assume
• 14:58
  the
• 14:58
  legal
• 14:58
  outcomes
• 14:59
  meet
• 14:59
  with
• 14:59
  that
• 14:59
  attorney.
• 15:00
  Look
• 15:00
  at
• 15:00
  the
• 15:00
  products,
• 15:01
  look
• 15:01
  at
• 15:01
  the
• 15:02
  services
• 15:02
  that
• 15:02
  are
• 15:02
  available
• 15:03
  to
• 15:04
  build
• 15:04
  that
• 15:04
  lean
• 15:05
  post
• 15:05
  divorce
• 15:05
  budget
• 15:06
  document.
• 15:07
  Everything
• 15:08
  but
• 15:08
  know
• 15:08
  you
• 15:08
  can
• 15:08
  do
• 15:09
  this.
• 15:09
  I'm
• 15:10
  confident
• 15:11
  you
• 15:11
  can
• 15:11
  do
• 15:11
  this.
• 15:12
  And
• 15:13
  if
• 15:13
  you're
• 15:13
  going
• 15:13
  through
• 15:13
  something,
• 15:14
  it
• 15:14
  doesn't
• 15:14
  have
• 15:14
  to
• 15:14
  be
• 15:15
  divorce.
• 15:15
  It
• 15:15
  could
• 15:15
  be
• 15:16
  something
• 15:16
  different
• 15:16
  than
• 15:16
  that.
• 15:17
  I
• 15:17
  want
• 15:17
  to
• 15:17
  encourage
• 15:18
  you
• 15:18
  to
• 15:18
  leave
• 15:18
  me
• 15:18
  a
• 15:18
  voicemail.
• 15:19
  I
• 15:19
  really
• 15:19
  want
• 15:19
  to
• 15:19
  hear
• 15:19
  your
• 15:20
  voice.
• 15:21
  As
• 15:21
  you
• 15:21
  can
• 15:21
  tell
• 15:21
  on
• 15:21
  this
• 15:21
  show,
• 15:22
  it's
• 15:22
  all
• 15:22
  about
• 15:23
  answering
• 15:23
  those
• 15:23
  questions
• 15:24
  of
• 15:24
  people
• 15:24
  who
• 15:25
  are
• 15:25
  going
• 15:25
  through
• 15:25
  real
• 15:26
  stuff.
• 15:27
  Go
• 15:27
  to
• 15:27
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/voicemail
• 15:31
  we'll
• 15:32
  put
• 15:32
  a
• 15:32
  link
• 15:32
  to
• 15:32
  that
• 15:32
  in
• 15:32
  the
• 15:32
  show
• 15:32
  notes.
• 15:33
  It's
• 15:33
  super
• 15:33
  simple.
• 15:33
  You
• 15:34
  click
• 15:34
  on
• 15:34
  the
• 15:34
  link
• 15:34
  and
• 15:34
  record
• 15:35
  your
• 15:35
  voice.
• 15:36
  That's
• 15:37
  at
• 15:38
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/Voicemail
• 15:41
  thank
• 15:41
  you
• 15:41
  so
• 15:41
  much
• 15:42
  for
• 15:42
  joining
• 15:42
  me
• 15:42
  today.
• 15:42
  I
• 15:42
  want
• 15:43
  to
• 15:43
  thank
• 15:43
  you
• 15:43
  again
• 15:43
  for
• 15:43
  sending
• 15:43
  in
• 15:44
  that
• 15:44
  question.
• 15:44
  The
• 15:44
  courage
• 15:45
  that
• 15:45
  it
• 15:45
  took
• 15:45
  to
• 15:46
  send
• 15:46
  that
• 15:46
  to
• 15:46
  somebody
• 15:46
  you
• 15:47
  don't
• 15:47
  know
• 15:48
  is
• 15:48
  amazing.
• 15:49
  And
• 15:49
  I'm
• 15:50
  praying
• 15:50
  for
• 15:50
  you
• 15:50
  today.
• 15:51
  So
• 15:51
  stay
• 15:52
  financially
• 15:52
  savvy.
• 15:53
  May
• 15:53
  God
• 15:54
  bless
• 15:54
  you
• 15:55
  and
• 15:55
  you
• 15:55
  have
• 15:55
  a
• 15:55
  great
• 15:56
  day.
• 16:13
  We
• 16:14
  rise
• 16:15
  it.