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256. Emotional Regulation in the Workplace · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello and welcome if you're new here.
• 0:02
  My name is Kathie Owen.
• 0:04
  I work with leaders and organizations who carry a lot of responsibility, especially during periods of change.
• 0:11
  My work is invitation only and it starts with observing not advice.
• 0:17
  Today, I wanna talk about emotional regulation, not as a self-help concept, but as a practical, real world skill.
• 0:26
  And why the workplace, especially during change, is one of the most emotionally dysregulated environments we operate in.
• 0:36
  Most people think emotional regulation is something we struggle with in our personal lives, but the workplace, particularly during moments of uncertainty, is where emotional regulation breaks down the fastest.
• 0:52
  Why?
• 0:53
  Because people aren't just worried about performance, they're worried about their role, their identity, their income, their future.
• 1:02
  And when change enters the system, a restructuring, a merger, an acquisition, fear quietly takes over.
• 1:10
  Not always loudly, often subtly.
• 1:14
  Let me give you a simple example.
• 1:17
  I've observed organizations going through acquisitions where nothing official had even been announced yet.
• 1:24
  And still the emotional shift was immediate.
• 1:28
  You could feel it.
• 1:29
  People stopped asking questions in meetings, side conversations increased, productivity looked"fine" on paper, but decision making slowed, tension rose between departments that had previously worked together well.
• 1:45
  And underneath all of it was the same unspoken question,"Am I gonna lose my job?" Here's the important part.
• 1:54
  That question isn't irrational.
• 1:55
  It's human.
• 1:57
  And when it goes unregulated, it drives behavior.
• 2:00
  People cling, people, posture, people disengage, people make decisions from fear instead of clarity.
• 2:09
  One of the most interesting things I see when people begin to emotionally regulate during change is this, they gain choice.
• 2:19
  Instead of spiraling around, what if I lose my job?
• 2:22
  What if everything changes?
• 2:24
  What if this gets worse?
• 2:26
  They begin asking better questions.
• 2:30
  Is this environment still aligned for me?
• 2:32
  Does this acquisition strengthen the company or expose its weaknesses?
• 2:38
  What do I want next?
• 2:40
  Sometimes clarity leads to staying.
• 2:42
  Sometimes clarity leads to leaving, but clarity only shows up after regulation.
• 2:50
  This is why I study professional athletes.
• 2:53
  Professional football season is in the middle of playoffs right now, and the playoff games were actually a perfect example.
• 3:04
  The game was tight.
• 3:06
  The outcome could have gone either way down to the final minute, and when the game ended, the camera did what it always does.
• 3:14
  It went straight to the losing quarterback.
• 3:17
  National television, season over, months of preparation finished in one moment.
• 3:23
  And what I watched closely wasn't the score.
• 3:26
  It was his face.
• 3:28
  You could see the disappointment, you could see the weight of it, and you could also see composure.
• 3:34
  He didn't unravel, he didn't leash out, he didn't collapse in the moment where millions of people were watching.
• 3:40
  That's emotional regulation.
• 3:44
  Not the absence of emotion, but containment of it.
• 3:48
  Professional athletes understand something most workplaces avoid acknowledging.
• 3:53
  Your season can end at any time.
• 3:56
  An injury, a loss, a trade, an off year, and the fact you even make it to the playoffs is in itself an accomplishment.
• 4:06
  Because not every team is going to win.
• 4:09
  And that's not pessimism.
• 4:11
  That's reality.
• 4:13
  And reality is something emotionally regulated people can face.
• 4:18
  Now, does that mean you don't feel it?
• 4:20
  Of course not.
• 4:22
  You might cry, you might grieve.
• 4:24
  You might need space to process.
• 4:26
  That is still emotional regulation.
• 4:29
  What matters is where and how emotions are expressed.
• 4:34
  You don't break down in the huddle, you don't lose containment in the middle of the play.
• 4:38
  You handle the moment, and then you process it appropriately.
• 4:43
  The workplace is no different.
• 4:45
  Change happens, mergers happen, acquisitions happen, roles shift, careers end, new ones begin.
• 4:53
  When leaders can regulate emotionally, they think more clearly.
• 4:57
  They make better decisions.
• 4:58
  They see options instead of threats, and when they can't, emotion runs the system.
• 5:05
  This is why I study professional athletes.
• 5:07
  They feel everything.
• 5:09
  They just don't let it run the system.
• 5:11
  That is excellence.
• 5:13
  In mergers and acquisitions, emotional regulation is not a soft skill.
• 5:19
  It is a risk factor.
• 5:21
  When leaders can't regulate communication deteriorates, rumors replace facts, trust errodes, talent quietly exits.
• 5:32
  Integration fails long before numbers reflect it.
• 5:37
  When leaders can regulate clarity improves, decisions stabilize, teams adapt faster, people make aligned choices instead of reactive ones.
• 5:48
  This is often where I come in, not to calm people down, but to observe where pressure is leaking and help contain it.
• 5:57
  Emotional regulation is not about being calm all the time.
• 6:01
  It's about noticing when fear is driving behavior.
• 6:05
  It's about pausing long enough to regain perspective.
• 6:09
  It's about making decisions from clarity instead of urgency.
• 6:15
  When regulation improves, leaders can see more clearly.
• 6:19
  They can see whether an acquisition is healthy.
• 6:23
  They can see whether a culture will survive integration, and they can see whether staying is aligned or leaving is the right move.
• 6:33
  The workplace doesn't need more motivational language during change.
• 6:37
  It needs containment.
• 6:39
  It needs clarity.
• 6:40
  It needs leaders who can hold pressure without leaking it into the system.
• 6:45
  I've written a deeper case study on emotional regulation in the workplace, particularly during mergers and acquisitions, and you'll find that blog post linked in the show notes and description below.
• 6:58
  And if you're operating inside an organization where change is creating uncertainty, my consulting work is invitation only and begins with an observation, not advice.
• 7:11
  All right, that's my episode for today.
• 7:14
  I trust that you found it helpful.
• 7:16
  And if you know someone who could benefit from this, please share it with them.
• 7:19
  And thank you for being here.
• 7:21
  Until next time, I will see you next time.