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Tony Robbins: The Addiction You Don’t Know You Have – Break Free Today · Motivation Mindset Podcast

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Speaker 1: People get vested in their trauma. People get vested in
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Speaker 1: their pain. If you want to know, the largest drug
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Speaker 1: on the planet, it's not cocaine, it's not heroin. The
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Speaker 1: biggest drug on the planet is problems. And the deepest
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Speaker 1: spheres we have are two. One is that we're not enough,
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Speaker 1: and if we're not enough, it d It's the deepest
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Speaker 1: fear we have, which is we won't be loved. And
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Speaker 1: love is the oxygen, the soul. So human beings when
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Speaker 1: they think, oh my god, if I fail at this,
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Speaker 1: it'll look like I'm not enough and I won't be
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Speaker 1: worthy of love, they tend to come up with a
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Speaker 1: reason why. It's either not their fault, it's something that
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Speaker 1: was done to me, I've got ADHD, I was born
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Speaker 1: with it. It becomes their reason for not being where
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Speaker 1: they want to be in their life. Leverage is what
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Speaker 1: makes change a must, not a should. As long as
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Speaker 1: it's a should, you'll have your story and your story
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Speaker 1: could be true story, and you'll tell your story and
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Speaker 1: share your story with yourself or other people or both,
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Speaker 1: and you stay stuck. But trauma is it's a bruise.
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Speaker 1: It's not a tattoo. Any bruise can be healed, but
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Speaker 1: not unless you're vested in healing it. But most people,
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Speaker 1: their problem is their drug. It's the drug against the
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Speaker 1: fear that I'm not enough and I won't be loved.
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Speaker 1: Even if they go, no, it's me, I'm so messed up.
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Speaker 1: What you're really saying is reassure me, love me. They're
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Speaker 1: wanting that connection through their problem. You got to decide
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Speaker 1: it's something you value more than your problem. We all
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Speaker 1: have a life story, right. Some people's life is a warning.
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Speaker 1: Some people's life is an example. If your life's a warning,
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Speaker 1: it still can become an example. If you're alive, you
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Speaker 1: have that choice. That's the greatest story of all time,
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Speaker 1: the comeback story. Right. So what I'm looking for is
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Speaker 1: what's their story? And the story is driven by number one.
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Speaker 1: What's their desire? Merge with God? Is it to find
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Speaker 1: a great relationship and have children? And then there's always
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Speaker 1: as soon as you have a desire, there's a problem
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Speaker 1: because otherwise you'd have your desire. And the problem usually
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Speaker 1: is character piece is missing within yourself. You're being selfish,
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Speaker 1: you're not giving enough, you're not creative enough, you're not
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Speaker 1: trusting enough. Something enough. And then as you go through
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Speaker 1: the story of a person's life, what happens is they
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Speaker 1: come up with a plant, and there's always you end
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Speaker 1: up having battles, and the battles invariably are with external enemies,
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Speaker 1: with intimate enemies like who can hurt you more, the
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Speaker 1: person you don't know, or the person you love who
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Speaker 1: seems to have betrayed you. And then there's the internal enemy,
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Speaker 1: the conflicts within yourself. And as you fight through those battles,
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Speaker 1: if you continue to grow, you come to a point
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Speaker 1: where you have insights, you see what the real truth is.
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Speaker 1: It isn't somebody else, it's me. This is what needs
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Speaker 1: to shift. And if you see that and act on it,
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Speaker 1: then life's never the same again, or life is happily
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Speaker 1: ever after, as it says in every story, right, because
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Speaker 1: you've made a shift in the core values and beliefs
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Speaker 1: and emotions that are driving your life. We are emotional creatures,
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Speaker 1: but your f and brain isn't gonna do. What's gonna
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Speaker 1: do it is enough emotion. Emotion is the power. Emotion
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Speaker 1: is what starts warse It's what ends worse. Emotions what
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Speaker 1: gets you married. Emotions where kids comes from. Divorce is
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Speaker 1: where emotion comes from everything that you can think of
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Speaker 1: of a major change in humanity. From the most extreme
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Speaker 1: of war to the most gentle of love, all come
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Speaker 1: from human emotion. It's like knowing what you want and
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Speaker 1: having the right fuel to get there. If the fuel
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Speaker 1: has no combustion, you're just bored. You're not going anywhere.
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Speaker 1: If the fuel is total trauma and I'm overwhelmed, you
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Speaker 1: just blow up and go nowhere. There's that delicate balance.
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Speaker 1: There's two skills you gotta master to have life on
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Speaker 1: your terms, to have an extraordinary life. To me, an
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Speaker 1: extraordinary life is life on your terms. That's not my life.
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Speaker 1: For some people, that's a white picket fence and three children.
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Speaker 1: For some people, it's building a big business. For some
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Speaker 1: people it's being an author. It's like so many different things, poetry, music,
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Speaker 1: So everybody's got to find it is what it is
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Speaker 1: that they really love. But the skills you got to
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Speaker 1: master to have life on your terms is one the
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Speaker 1: science of achievement. How do to take what I envision
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Speaker 1: and make it real? And those are strategies and they
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Speaker 1: are proven strategies. There are certain rules of the game.
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Speaker 1: If you want to be healthy and you want a
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Speaker 1: lot of energy. Everyone's biochemically slightly different, but there's certain rules.
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Speaker 1: If you violate them, you're gonna have low energy and disease.
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Speaker 1: If you align with them, you're gonna have enormous energy
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Speaker 1: and strength. Same thing around finance. Anyone can grow financially,
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Speaker 1: but most people don't learn the basic fundamentals. Everything in
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Speaker 1: the world grows or dies, everything universe contributes, or it's
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Speaker 1: eventually eliminated by nature. Those aren't my laws, those are
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Speaker 1: the laws of nature. However, happiness only requires that you
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Speaker 1: are grateful if you've got a billion dollars and three
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Speaker 1: beautiful children that love you, and a beautiful husband or wife.
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Speaker 1: But doesn't matter what you have if you're not grateful.
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Speaker 1: If you live in an emotional home habitual pace of
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Speaker 1: worry or frustration, your life's called worry and frustration. You
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Speaker 1: can be making progress and still be worried and frustrated.
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Speaker 1: You have to also develop a new decision that says
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Speaker 1: I'm going to live a different life. I have a
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Speaker 1: vision for my life spiritually, and that vision spiritually is
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Speaker 1: I'm going to live in a beautiful state. No matter what.
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Speaker 1: That doesn't mean I'm never going to get upset, a frustrator,
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Speaker 1: pissed off. It just means I got a ninety second
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Speaker 1: rule that I'm going to get out of that as
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Speaker 1: fast as possible and solve it from a beautiful place
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Speaker 1: so that I'm adding value to the people around me
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Speaker 1: and myself, so my own biochemistry gets the benefit of that.
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Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that you're always making progress. I love progress.
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Speaker 1: I think progress equals happiness. But it isn't the only
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Speaker 1: secret to that. It's really can you train your brain
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Speaker 1: to appreciate, Because in the middle of whatever you're pissed
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Speaker 1: off about or frustrated or fearful about or worried about,
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Speaker 1: you're deleting all the things you could be grateful for
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Speaker 1: you could appreciate that are absolutely real. You do not
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Speaker 1: experience life. You experienced a life. If you focus on
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Speaker 1: that's it. If you focus on what's wrong, what's wrong
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Speaker 1: is always available, so it's what's right, and so our
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Speaker 1: focus produces our meanings and emotions, which produce the actions
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Speaker 1: of our life. So it really starts with the patterns
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Speaker 1: of your focus. Do you tend to focus on what
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Speaker 1: you have or what's missing? Most achievers, that progress thing
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Speaker 1: is really important. Go always got to have the next thing,
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Speaker 1: and well, that's really wonderful, but it's only one way
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Speaker 1: of doing things. And so it's like saying to yourself,
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Speaker 1: wait a second, I'm gonna regard whether it's progress or not.
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Speaker 1: I'm going to find the good in this. I'm going
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Speaker 1: to find the great in this. And what that does
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Speaker 1: is it produces a different fuel to live your life from,
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Speaker 1: and from that fuel, it's easy to make progress. You know.
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Speaker 1: I used to tell myself, I got really pissed off,
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Speaker 1: my brain gets really sharp and fast and figures the answers. Well,
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Speaker 1: that's true. But when I'm really in a great state,
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Speaker 1: my brain is shausting crick and I enjoy it and
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Speaker 1: people around me enjoy it. So it's also deciding how
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Speaker 1: you're going to be, not just what you're going to do.
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Speaker 1: And I think the combination of those is where the
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Speaker 1: quality of life that people are really looking for shows up.
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Speaker 1: If you want to know what makes people happy at
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Speaker 1: that most basic level, when your life conditions match your blueprint,
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Speaker 1: when your life conditions are what you're expecting, not your
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Speaker 1: ultimate dream, but when you meet your basic expectations, you're happy.
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Speaker 1: If your life conditions are better than you expected you're
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Speaker 1: over the moon. If your life conditions don't match your blueprint,
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Speaker 1: your pain. If your life conditions don't match your blueprint
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Speaker 1: and you believe I'm unable to change it, then you're
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Speaker 1: going to suffer. And so nothing is permanent, not even
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Speaker 1: the body is permanent. Certainly no problem is permanent. Your
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Speaker 1: soul might be the only thing that might be permanent.
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Speaker 1: So it's really helping people to understand that when the
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Speaker 1: life conditions change, your blueprint has to change with it. Either,
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Speaker 1: like if you're not happy, you either have to change
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Speaker 1: your life or change your blueprint your expectations. Usually it
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Speaker 1: requires a combination of those two. If you don't do that,
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Speaker 1: you're in trouble. There are many people during COVID, who
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Speaker 1: was the most horrific experience. There are many people to
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Speaker 1: learn to use COVID, not let COVID use them. They
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Speaker 1: grew their businesses, they expanded their mind, they shifted their emotions,
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Speaker 1: they did things they never would have done. Other people
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Speaker 1: gained twenty pounds. It's all a matter of do you
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Speaker 1: adapt to the life conditions. People say to me, I
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Speaker 1: have no self esteem. I hate that word so overused
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Speaker 1: and abuse. I don't know self esteem because when I
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Speaker 1: was growing up, my parents said these terrible things and
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Speaker 1: those terrible things, And I said, isn't it convenient you
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Speaker 1: only remember those things? They said a million things, but
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Speaker 1: suddenly you was holding on those But let's get real.
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Speaker 1: Someone can tell your whole life you're a piece of crap,
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Speaker 1: Like you can say, screw you, read between the lines
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Speaker 1: and make your life work. Someone tell your whole life
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Speaker 1: you're beautiful, you're intelligent. You're the smartest person in the world,
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Speaker 1: and you don't believe it because self esteem doesn't come
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Speaker 1: from what people say about you. Self esteem is earned
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Speaker 1: within you your self. It's esteem for yourself, which only
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Speaker 1: comes by doing things that are incredibly difficult, and then
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Speaker 1: your brain goes this is who I am. The reason
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Speaker 1: I've done firewalks for years. I used to do skydiving,
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Speaker 1: but you know, it's hard to get thirty thousand people
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Speaker 1: in the middle of the air above New York the night.
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Speaker 1: But the reason I did these metaphors was because when
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Speaker 1: someone does something they once thought was difficult or impossible,
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Speaker 1: you have the other side of brangles. If I don't
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Speaker 1: get myself to do this, what else could I get
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Speaker 1: myself to do? It changes their identity. When your identity expands,
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Speaker 1: your whole world expands. One of the things you have
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Speaker 1: to understand about life is everything changes and everything ends.
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Speaker 1: And that kind of sounds heavy on the front end,
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Speaker 1: but it's a truth. If everything changes and everything ends,
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Speaker 1: Number One, itch, it'd make you appreciate what you have
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Speaker 1: right now. And then my view is what's next is
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Speaker 1: always better if I make it so. It's my job
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Speaker 1: to make it so. I think passion is the genesis
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Speaker 1: of genius. If you've got enough passion, you're going to
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Speaker 1: find answers. Nobody else does. But most people run out
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Speaker 1: of fuel, meaning they get tired, they get exhausted, they
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Speaker 1: get burnt out, they get you know, the law familiarity.
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Speaker 1: They're around something so much they take it a little
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Speaker 1: bit for granted. And I've managed to see something in
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Speaker 1: myself that I've found in every great leader that I've
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Speaker 1: ever respected, and that is I value intelligence immensely. But
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Speaker 1: I know, really smart people can't fight their way out
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Speaker 1: of a paper bag pragmatically. Right. I'm sure you do too.
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Speaker 1: What I see is the one common nominator people that
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Speaker 1: are successful over a lifetime is the sustained hunger we
10:24
Speaker 1: all define ourselves in certain ways, and most of us
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Speaker 1: defined ourselves years ago and we haven't done an update.
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Speaker 1: And now you're in an environment where you're constantly told
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Speaker 1: how bad it is, how terrible it is. So that
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Speaker 1: stimulates the old part of the human brain, the fight
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Speaker 1: or flight mechanism, the part of your brain's always looking
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Speaker 1: through what's wrong. So you can hide from it, you know,
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Speaker 1: or you can fight it, or you can freeze and
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Speaker 1: hope it doesn't notice, or you can run from it.
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Speaker 1: And so that part of our brain's never going to
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Speaker 1: make you happy. It's an important part. There's no saber
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Speaker 1: tooth tiger for us to run from anymore or fight.
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Speaker 1: If identity is how you've identified yourself, and you see
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Speaker 1: yourself as a procrastinator, why because you procrastinate so many
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Speaker 1: clients and disappointed. You don't want to be disappointed. So
11:06
Speaker 1: now you're a procrastinator, you're no longer disappointed. You feel
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Speaker 1: certain you'll never have your goals, but you feel certain
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Speaker 1: that's what most people do in their life. And I'm
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Speaker 1: just not willing to settle for a life without passion
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Speaker 1: and aliveness. That's just like, there's so much to learn,
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Speaker 1: there's so much to grow, there's so much to give.
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Speaker 1: Like some people think they just want to get, but
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Speaker 1: you get get, and it's pretty damn boring, and it
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Speaker 1: doesn't really expand your sense of identity of who you are.
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Speaker 1: But if you're constantly growing and then taking what you learn,
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Speaker 1: you're so excited about it. You share with other people
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Speaker 1: and their life gets better, whether that be software you
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Speaker 1: make or addresses you design, or you know, something you
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Speaker 1: do in health space that really gets people to enjoy
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Speaker 1: their food while they're eating well. If you have those
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Speaker 1: passions and you keep growing, there's no limit. It doesn't
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Speaker 1: matter what happens in the short term with a pandemic
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Speaker 1: or with a drop in the economy, or whatever the
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Speaker 1: case may be. These are all temporary. When you realize
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Speaker 1: life has lived in decades, not in days,