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Why do Narcissists FEEL like they have to leave you BROKEN? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're going to be answering the question, why do
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  narcissists feel like they have to leave you broken?
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  Why do they feel like they need to destroy you before right when
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  they leave or right after they leave?
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  That's one question, is it? If you're new here, my name is
• 0:18
  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
• 0:20
  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:41
  I'll be bouncing to that. Theme music, y'all.
• 0:44
  Theme music, precious. Y'all been here joining me
• 0:49
  today, y'all. Everything about me you can find
• 0:52
  at mentalhillness.net. My coaching, my courses, my
• 0:55
  books, everything is at mentalhillness.net.
• 1:00
  Check me out over there. But yes y'all why do
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  narcissistic people, toxic ass people, these manipulative, a
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  lot of times bad people. Why do they feel like they have
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  to leave you broken? Why can't they just leave you in
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  one piece? Why can't they just leave you in
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  an amicable way and just say hey look this isn't working out for
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  me it's not you it's me. I have some growing to do.
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  I wish you the best and I just want you to heal and grow and be
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  be to yourself. Why can't they do that?
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  Why they got to just tear you down?
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  You are a horrible ugly ass beep.
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  You stink. Beep, you broke.
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  You're a broke ass beep your butt stink.
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  You smell like beep. And you look, nobody going to
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  want you because you got 4 kids, three kids, five kids, even
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  though they also have 345 kids. You see what I'm saying?
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  Why can't they? Why they feel like they need to
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  leave you broken. You see what I'm saying?
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  Finally catching me live. What's going on, Yolanda?
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  Like Cynthia said, they don't want you, but they don't want
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  anyone else to anyone else to want you either.
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  That's one of the reasons right there.
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  That is absolutely true. That is absolutely true.
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  They might not want you anymore, so they have to complete, they
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  have to feel like they destroyed you because they want to make,
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  they want to make sure that they're making the right
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  decision. I need to guarantee that I'm
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  making the right decision here. And the only way I can guarantee
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  that I'm making the right decision is to look at you like
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  you're pathetic is to look at you like you're a broken human
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  being is to look at you like you've been destroyed.
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  I have to not want you and I have to make sure that nobody
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  else is going to want you because guess what happens?
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  Like Charles said, selfish. They get selfish.
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  They don't want anybody else to have you because they want to be
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  the best you've ever had. You know, you see what I'm
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  saying? They want to be the best that
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  they, that you've ever had you. They don't want you to look.
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  They want you to feel like nobody else is going to want
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  you. So you're single and lonely for
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  a long time and deader than it is and deader than that.
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  They'll keep messing with your head, right?
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  They'll do a lot of this stuff, say a lot of this stuff, and put
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  it trying to ruin your damn life, you know what I mean?
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  Just to make sure that nobody else is going to want you so
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  they can stroke their own egos, you know what I'm saying?
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  Just so they can stroke their own egos.
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  Like seriously, you know what I mean?
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  Appreciate this, Lejeune, appreciate that.
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  Appreciate that, but that's what's going to happen right
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  there. You're welcome.
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  You're welcome, welcome. Thanks for being here.
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  Thanks for the support, y'all. But yeah, they feel like they
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  have to leave you broken. And why do they why?
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  Why do they feel like they need to leave you broken?
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  Because they know that you like this is the crazy thing about it
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  is they know y'all. They know that you're good, they
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  know that you're worthy. They know that you bad.
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  They know that you sexy. They know that you're beautiful.
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  They know that you're smart. They know that you're
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  attractive. They know that you have
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  something to offer someone else. So in order for me, myself to
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  move on, I have to try to convince you that nobody else is
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  going to want you because that benefits me in the long run.
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  You see, I'm saying that benefits me in the long run.
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  It absolutely does. And yeah, Oh hell yes, yeah, it
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  absolutely does backfire on them a lot of the time.
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  A lot of the times it backfires and blows up in a stinking ass
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  faces and they hate you for it. They hate you for, they hate you
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  for them making the decision, right.
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  And a lot of times they absolutely blame you for them
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  having to make the decision to leave you.
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  Like it was your, it was your. You did something to do
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  something to them that made them cheat on you.
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  You did something to them to make you, like I said, to make
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  them go out here and find a new supply, right?
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  You know what I'm saying? You did something to them that
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  made them mess with your head. You did.
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  You did something to them that made them finally decide to dip
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  out. That's not on you, Lejeune,
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  thanks for joining the China membership.
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  Appreciate it. Welcome, Welcome.
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  Welcome. That's not on you, Linda said.
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  Well, it might be on me. I put them out.
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  I'd rather be single than mentally abused every day.
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  There you go. Those are best power moves right
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  there. Best.
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  There's a power move right there 'cause you rather be single, yo,
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  single and being single and happy is way better than being
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  alone with somebody else. If you have the mindset.
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  Well, at least at least I got a man, at least I got a girl.
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  But you're unhappy as hell. You've been cheating on, lied
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  to, beat up, whatever it may be. That's a mindset that that that
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  is not going to serve you in the long run.
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  Right there right, It's not a mindset that's going to serve
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  you in the long run. At least I'm at least they come
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  home to me at night whenever I hear somebody say that y'all
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  y'all hear somebody get cheated on all the time and they say
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  something that you can tell they have abandonment issues and they
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  say, well, at least they come home to me at night.
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  I got a man, I got a girl. They come home to me at night.
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  Who cares what they do out there doing through Who cares what
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  they're out there doing throughout the day?
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  Who cares if they get in their buns beat up by somebody else?
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  Who cares if they're who cares if they're pregnant by somebody
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  else? Who cares if they got scratches
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  and and belt Marks and handprints on their buttocks?
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  Who cares? At least they come home to me,
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  right? At least they come home to me.
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  At least I got somebody. At least I got somebody.
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  You don't what? Your man there.
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  Where's yours at? You know what I'm saying?
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  They they, they feel like they have to leave you broken.
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  They really, really do. Who said that?
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  Rachel said. I remember looking over at him
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  in bed, sleeping and I've never felt more alone in my life.
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  I actually put that at this, actually, I put that on threads
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  a while back. I said you're never more alone
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  than with you when you were in a touch relationship with the
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  narcissist, because even though they even though you some you
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  have somebody that's physically there, they might be physically
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  with you, They're emotionally disconnected from you.
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  You're emotionally abandoned. They might not physically
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  abandoned you, but they will emotionally abandoned you.
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  Y'all. They might not physically do it,
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  but they will emotionally get you on the bottom of there
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  right. They emotionally go ahead and
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  put you on. I'll put you on the bottom of
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  there. Like I said, they need to make
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  they need to go ahead and do something like and a lot of
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  times, y'all, a lot. Another reason they feel like
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  they need to leave you broken. It's so nobody will believe you.
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  Like they feel like if they break you down enough, nobody
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  will believe you. Especially if my reputation is
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  solid, if I have a good reputation, I don't think
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  anybody is going to believe anything you say about me
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  because I've been good to everybody else, right?
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  I've been, I've been good to everybody else.
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  So I don't believe that any. I don't, I don't think people
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  are going to believe what you have to say about me, right?
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  I don't think people are going to believe you.
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  So in my mind, in my heart and soul, I'm just so focused on my
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  reputation that I can leave you broken.
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  I can say and do anything and I can, you know, I can treat you
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  like you said, I can get away with it.
• 8:04
  Yeah, I can get away with it. Y'all looking at my for my
• 8:05
  courses in my communities right here.
• 8:07
  I have a support group called the Mental healers right here,
• 8:09
  courses.mentalillness.net. The link is in the comment
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  section as well for that. And yes.
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  Who said this? They've already set you up
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  before the discard. Yeah, that happens a lot of
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  times. Y'all Most narcissistic people,
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  I will say this. They don't discard you unless
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  they already have somebody else because they they themselves
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  don't want to be about. They they themselves don't want
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  to be alone. You know what I'm saying?
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  They themselves don't want to be alone.
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  It just went in that space right there.
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  What's going on? Lisa?
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  Tell me you're the only one who complaints about me.
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  Yeah, you're the only one who doesn't like me.
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  You're the only one who says bad things about me.
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  Everybody else likes me except for you.
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  So you must be the problem right here, right?
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  Y'all? Let's say this right here.
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  Being the common denominator is not always a bad thing.
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  So many people just like, guess who the common denominator is?
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  You being the common denominator is not always a bad thing.
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  If you're coming, if you're the common denominator because you'd
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  be holding people accountable, because everybody doesn't like
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  you leave because you keep telling everybody.
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  You keep telling everybody how they are.
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  You keep telling the truth about everybody.
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  What? You know what I'm saying?
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  I will. I will enjoy being the common
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  denominator if that's the case. Common denominator Me, please.
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  You see what I'm saying? This is like, I would love it.
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  Like I said, if I'm the common denominator because people cut
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  me off because I'm being authentically honest and holding
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  people accountable for their actions, then yeah, common
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  denominator me please. I would enjoy that.
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  So being the common denominator is not always a bad thing.
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  Some people will try to position position it like it's a bad
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  thing, but it's not always going to be like that, y'all?
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  It's not always going to be. You are always going to be
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  treated badly and things like that.
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  So it's just like they feel like they have to leave you broken
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  because also this, it's going to sound selfish.
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  Let's let's get the selfish part of it out the way.
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  A lot, most of it is selfish, but a lot of them feel like they
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  need to leave you broken because they themselves don't want to
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  imagine. They don't want to imagine you
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  with somebody else, right? They don't want to imagine you
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  with anybody else. So they feel like they need to
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  leave you broken now because that's just my selfish, that's
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  my ego right there. My ego in order to protect my
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  fragile ass ego, my glass plated ego, my plastic covered ego.
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  You see what I'm saying? I have to, I have to leave you
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  broken because I don't want it. I don't want to imagine you or
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  anybody else. That's kind of that's kind of
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  crazy. And now let me say, let me throw
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  this one in there too. Y'all, some of them want to try
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  to leave you broken because they want to be the only ones that
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  fix the only ones that can fix you and make you feel better.
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  They leave you broken in such a specific way that they
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  themselves on the only one that can come fix you.
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  There's a song by I forgot who sang this song.
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  It's boys the men or it's 112. Might be Jodeci smile song.
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  Who sang this song? It's a it's called smile.
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  So I can be the only one that makes you smile.
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  Who does this song? Tell me what I gotta do to
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  please you. Tell me.
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  Tell me. No, no.
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  Tell me what I gotta. There you go.
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  Joe. It's Joe.
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  I only want to make you happy. The bottom of my heart is true.
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  Yeah. Yeah.
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  I want to know what makes you cry.
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  You know the song. So I can be the only one that
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  makes you smile. There you go.
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  It's Joe. Yep.
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  Appreciate it, Roxy. They make songs about that
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  sometimes. Y'all.
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  He's he's the one who's going to get broken.
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  Be careful and protect your peace.
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  Protect your peace. Yeah.
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  Leaving you broken. David was saying this right
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  here. Leaving you broken is part of
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  the smear campaign, y'all. So leaving you broken sometimes
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  does. Sometimes leaving you broken
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  does mean ruining your trying to ruin your reputation with other
• 11:58
  people in order to protect my own reputation, right.
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  Leaving, just leaving you broken.
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  Looks like sometimes you see what I'm saying?
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  That's what it looks like. That's what that's what it feels
• 12:10
  like right here. Y'all Throw a little loose.
• 12:14
  Come back. Oh yeah, y'all, y'all, y'all in
• 12:18
  America, pray y'all in America get out and vote before the end,
• 12:23
  the vote before the voting ends for voting time ends.
• 12:25
  We're not going to have to make it a political discussion, but
• 12:28
  y'all go out there and vote. Exercise your rights to vote.
• 12:32
  Get out there now do a little Q&A, y'all little Q&A right now.
• 12:37
  What time is it, 1237? OK, He just contacted me after
• 12:40
  he discarded me three months ago and said I'm on.
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  I'm on my way to get dinner alone.
• 12:45
  You're probably seeing someone, and that's fine.
• 12:47
  I just want you to know I think about you daily.
• 12:51
  I just want you to know real quick, Raquel, then I'm thinking
• 12:54
  about you daily. And if you find it in your heart
• 12:58
  to come down to the McDonald's, there'll be a seat open for you
• 13:04
  right next to the ball pit because nobody else is going to
• 13:08
  be here. But I want to think about you
• 13:13
  just let you know just for you, just so you know, mine won't.
• 13:23
  Mine won't. Oh, I am broken now.
• 13:27
  Put my savings on this house. And he did Spirit for one year
• 13:30
  now leaving me and my two kids. So that's what like I said, now
• 13:32
  it's rebuilding season. So are we anticipating on him
• 13:34
  coming back or no? I've, I've heard this bigamy
• 13:38
  story before. You.
• 13:39
  I've heard I've heard this bigamy stories before like that.
• 13:41
  They can get kind of crazy. I feel so stupid.
• 13:46
  After all the BSI fell for. At least I know better not.
• 13:48
  Yeah, you give. You have to give yourself space
• 13:50
  and grace, y'all. The space to heal and the grace
• 13:52
  to forgive yourself for the things you did not know.
• 13:55
  Because like you just said, Chernobyl.
• 13:57
  You know them now, right? You know them now.
• 14:00
  So you won't fall off them again.
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  Hopefully you won't fall off them again, you know what I'm
• 14:03
  saying? Hopefully you won't fall for
• 14:06
  them again. Like not as I'll say this right
• 14:08
  here, Lucretia. I think it's like Lucretia.
• 14:11
  Lucretia, not all of them will try to leave you broken.
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  I should have said this is the beginning.
• 14:15
  But not every one of them will try to leave you broken.
• 14:17
  Some of them will try to be friends with you because they
• 14:19
  want to keep you around. They want to keep you.
• 14:21
  They want to stay in your orbit, right?
• 14:23
  They want to stay orbiting you. So just in case this new supply
• 14:26
  or these new buns I'm trying to get don't work out, I feel like
• 14:29
  I can come back to you. You know what I'm saying?
• 14:30
  Maybe I can come back to you. Maybe you can be my Boo again,
• 14:34
  you know, maybe you can answer some questions for me.
• 14:38
  Maybe you can answer some questions for me.
• 14:40
  You know what I mean? Maybe you can answer some
• 14:42
  question for me about my new partner.
• 14:45
  You see, that's what friends do. That's, that's what the that's
• 14:47
  how they try to get you right there, y'all.
• 14:50
  But y'all I do, I do you hop off this thing, y'all.
• 14:52
  I got to get out here before it get dark.
• 14:54
  It's getting dark too early. Hopefully it doesn't get dark in
• 14:58
  our country tonight and tomorrow.
• 15:00
  Hopefully the US is bright and shining.
• 15:05
  Anyways, y'all take care of yourselves.
• 15:07
  Get out there and go vote. Join my support groups, check
• 15:10
  out all my courses and stuff like that.
• 15:12
  Y'all. Everything about me is available
• 15:15
  at mentalillness.net, Take Me Out, Mental illness.net and all
• 15:21
  that other good stuff y'all. I appreciate every single one of
• 15:23
  y'all. Take care of yourselves, take
• 15:26
  care of each other. And as always, y'all, as always,
• 15:29
  mental illness is out. Peace.
• 15:31
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 15:33
  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 15:36
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 15:37
  to the channel. Help us reach more people and
• 15:39
  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse to
• 15:41
  another playlist. There's also a link on the
• 15:43
  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 15:46
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 15:48
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 15:50
  video. Peace, Peace.