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Watch This Whenever You Start To Feel Sorry For a Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So why do you feel sorry for your narcissistic partner?
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  Why do you feel bad for them sometimes?
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  Like even after they do something horrible to you, even
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  after they've done something horrible to you, done something
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  bad to you, lied to you, cheated on you, beat on you.
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  Why is it that you feel bad for them?
• 0:19
  That's what we're talking about today, y'all?
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  Of course, if you do hear, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist here to give you an inside look at
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  the mind of a narcissist. And welcome to another episode
• 0:27
  of The Narcissist Code. Welcome back y'all, welcome
• 0:47
  back, welcome back. Yes, 9 episodes have been
• 0:50
  recorded so far from my podcast #10 is getting recorded later
• 0:53
  this afternoon. So happy the mental illness
• 0:57
  podcast is launching soon. Y'all Make sure you subscribe so
• 0:59
  you don't miss out on an episode.
• 1:01
  But yes feeling sorry or feeling bad for a narcissist happens all
• 1:07
  the time y'all. I think we can all agree on it.
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  I think most people who have been in a relationship with a
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  narcissist would consider. Not most people.
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  A lot of people who have been in a relationship with a narcissist
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  would consider themselves an empath or at least highly
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  empathetic, right? You consider yourself highly
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  empathetic. You might be an empath, whatever
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  the case may be, but you, you have a deep emotional
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  connection, right? You have a deep capacity for
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  empathy, right? So you get with this
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  narcissistic person and sometimes you feel bad for them.
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  That's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.
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  Y'all, your empathy is a gift. It's a blessing, but big old
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  butt, right? When you're dealing with a
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  narcissistic person, your empathy can absolutely be
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  weaponized against you. It's just one of those things
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  that that can happen on a consistent basis, like because
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  you care so much about this person, because you know this
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  person's past, you might actually start to feel bad for
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  them. You know, I still do my one on
• 2:07
  ones over Zoom. Y'all?
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  You can find all of that at mentalillness.net, right?
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  But when I'm talking to so many, when I'm talking to people,
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  they'll ask me and it's like, Lee, why do I feel bad for this
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  person? Why they they've done horrible
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  things to me. Why do I still feel bad for
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  them? Because one reason is because
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  you know their past, right? Or you think you know their
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  past. A lot of times when you're in a
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  relationship with a narcissistic person, you do know their past.
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  They trauma dump on you. They share the horrible stuff
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  that has happened to them in the past.
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  Like you also probably have met their parents, right?
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  So you met their parents, you know their upbringing, you know
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  who they you know who they were around when they were growing
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  up. You know, all of this.
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  This is not like this is not anything new to you already know
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  this. You see this person, you know
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  who they are like you know their mom is a horrible person.
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  You see that their dad is a is abusive or an alcoholic or a
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  drug addict. Older mom could be right, or
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  their grandparents, whoever their grandparents, their
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  parents were not around. They were raised by their
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  grandparents. Whatever the case may be, you
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  know that they had an abusive childhood, you know, so in
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  essence, you do feel bad for them because you know what
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  they've been through, you know their childhood, you know their
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  life story and whatnot. And a lot of times that keeps
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  people bonded, that keeps people stuck, that keeps people feeling
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  sorry for the narcissistic person.
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  You know, I see, I think a lot of times in these spaces right
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  here is this is what goes on. This is what absolutely
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  happened. So many people get stuck, so
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  many people get caught, but you feel bad because you know their
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  past and you have empathy, you have compassion.
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  You might sometimes still see them as a little kid.
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  Sometimes you, you, even though you're dealing with an adult,
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  right? A clear adult.
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  They might be in their 40s, fifties, 60s, sometimes in these
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  70s or the 80s, right? They might be old, an older
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  person, right? You still can see them as a kid
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  because you, you know that they're abusive.
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  They're abusive upbringing, so you see them as a kid even when
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  they're doing horrible things to you.
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  Like I had talked to a woman one time.
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  She was she was on the Zoom call almost crying because of the
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  childhood that her partner had experienced.
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  Even though he was in jail for beating on her.
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  She's like he did. I just feel so bad for because
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  his childhood and he just can't help it and that's why he lashes
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  out. His mom was abusive, his dad was
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  abusive. So he's been abusive to all his
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  women in his life. I was like, I understand you
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  feeling bad but what about you? You know what I mean?
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  What? What about what about you here?
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  Are you not allowed to feel bad for yourself?
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  You see what I'm saying? It's OK to feel bad for that
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  person sometimes but don't let that be used against you because
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  another time, another reason so many people feel sorry for
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  narcissist is because they they convince you to feel sorry for
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  them. They like narcissist, including
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  myself back in the past, or can be experts at playing the
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  victim. We absolutely can.
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  We can be an expert at playing the victim to a lot of different
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  situations, even the situations or the scenarios that we
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  ourselves create. We have created these scenarios.
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  We have created these situations and we or somehow also
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  simultaneously the victims, we make you feel bad for us by by
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  by telling you, by playing the victim.
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  I don't know what to do. Like I, I don't my, my past is
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  this like you should feel bad for me.
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  Like what about me? I'm the victim here.
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  Even after they do something horrible to you.
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  I know I cheated on you and I lie.
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  I cheated on you, not lied or whatever, right?
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  I got a baby on the way by somebody else, but you're going
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  to leave me and blow up my life, Blow up our kids lives?
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  You're going to really uproot our whole family for one cheat?
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  They got a bigot, They had a baby on the way.
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  One little cheat. Well, not one cheat, of course.
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  Like multiple cheats with one person.
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  It's only been one person though, right?
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  It's not like multiple people is with one cheat with one,
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  multiple cheats with one person. You'll leave me?
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  Wow, You must really not care about me.
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  And does they work on some people?
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  Yeah, it does work, right? It does.
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  Because they start crying. You haven't seen.
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  You haven't seen. You haven't ever seen them get
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  this emotional before. So now they're crying in front
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  of you. And now you feel bad for them,
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  right? This is.
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  Yeah. This is what happens sometimes.
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  Like they're crying, they're playing the victim.
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  They do this stuff. It's like an art.
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  It's like an art. They it's like an the art of
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  playing the victim. Finding some way in this
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  situation to victimize myself is a narcissistic art.
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  It is, it really is a narcissistic art.
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  It's artwork. It's like I'm Vincent van Gogh
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  of, of, of victim. I'm the Vincent Vincent van Gogh
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  of victimhood. Like I find a way to play the
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  victim because if I can play the victim, I can make you feel bad
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  or I can make you feel guilty. You know what I mean?
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  That's how it works sometimes. And another reason why so many
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  people feel sorry for narcissists is because you you
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  don't want, you don't feel, you feel like a bad person because
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  you're abandoning them, right? When you get ready to leave them
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  or something like that, you start feeling bad, like you're a
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  bad person. You're like, well, I'm a bad
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  person. They I know they have an
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  abandonment wound. Like they got abandoned so many
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  times. And they said that they're,
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  yeah, narcissists could absolutely be lying about their
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  past, right? I hope you all understand that
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  that's, this is a sidebar over here.
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  Sidebar. Come over here.
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  They could be lying about their past.
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  Y'all, not every single narcissist or person is going to
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  tell you the truth about their past.
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  So somebody so so some of these traumas that they told you that
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  they that they've been through or experienced, they're lying.
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  It never happened to them. They might be just mirroring
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  your story or telling you somebody else's story that they
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  know. They could be lying their asses
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  off about their childhood experiences, right?
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  OK, sidebar over If I, if I feel like we're in a courtroom, the
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  courtroom of narcissism, right? Sidebar, come over judge, can we
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  approach, approach over here? They planned the victim.
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  You know what I'm saying? They can be lying about their
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  story, but you know that they you think that they have
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  abandonment wounds, right? You think that they've been
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  abandoned by a previous exes or people have left them for no
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  reason for, you know, you know what I mean.
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  People have left them and you don't want to also perpetuate
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  this and keep this cycle going on in their in their lives, even
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  though they've done something horrible to you, even though
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  they've treated you horribly. You see how that works right
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  there? This is a thing that so many
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  people are going to experience when you're dealing with a
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  highly narcissistic, abusive person.
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  They're going to keep doing this type of stuff because it works.
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  If I can find a way to play the victim in these circumstances,
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  then I'm going to keep. I'm going to keep finding a way
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  to play the victim, right. I'm going to keep finding a way
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  to do this. I'm going to keep.
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  I'm going to make you feel bad for me.
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  I'm going to do all of these things, y'all, because the worse
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  you feel for me, the better I feel, the worse you feel for me,
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  the better off in my mind that I am.
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  You know what I mean? Like, I know I think that I'm
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  good. I because you feel bad for me.
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  I'm going to keep perpetuating this stereotype.
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  I'm going to keep doing this stuff over and over and over
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  again because it works for me and I'm all about me.
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  Like let me put my narcissist's head on, right?
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  I put my narcissist's head on. I'm all about me, right?
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  If I can convince you to feel bad for me, I'm in control of
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  you. You'll never leave me because I
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  can always make you feel bad. Wow.
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  You said you would never leave. You said you'd be my ride or
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  die. You said this would never end.
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  You said you would marry me. You said this even after I've
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  done all of this stuff. If it keeps working, why
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  wouldn't I do it? You know, especially the
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  religion. Like this, not this.
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  I was going to take you to a sidebar, but I'm not even go to
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  the sidebar because a lot of people need to hear this.
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  They will absolutely use your religion to make you feel bad.
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  They will convince you that God is somewhere in the Bible, that
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  God said I can beat your ass, I can cheat on you, I can steal
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  from you and you can't leave me or you a horrible person.
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  So you feel bad. The religious guilt is a real
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  thing. They can.
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  Spiritual abuse is a real thing. You going to tell the church I
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  cheated on you? You can give me excommunicated.
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  You can tell everybody you tell on me.
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  Wow, you're going to give me excommunicator, you're going to
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  ruin my life. You're going to ruin my life.
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  You see, and that works. They're going to do whatever it
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  takes to make you to to afford to work.
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  You know, you're going to break up our family.
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  You're going to two parent households are better.
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  Two parent households are not better.
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  If it's an abusive household, what sense does that make?
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  You know what I'm saying? How the hell does a two parent
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  household the better if it if it's abusive, We got we got to
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  make make that make sense right there.
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  I was so many people like single moms, single dads, terrible
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  people. It's better than being in an
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  abusive household, getting your ass beat up or cheated on or
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  damn, they're unalive because consistently like what the hell
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  is wrong with people out there? I absolutely hate these out here
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  to be spreading that shit. I was like I'll get on my damn
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  nerves like damn, like just blaming people for being single
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  parents when what are other parent at?
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  You know what I'm saying? Where's the other parent?
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  Would, you know, shut the fuck up?
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  Where's the other parents? Not making excuses for deadbeats
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  that shouldn't be blowing my mind, Goose Fraba.
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  Seriously man, they will try to make you feel bad because it
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  works for them. The more the worse I can make
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  you feel, the better I feel. The more in control I am, the
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  better off things go. You know, I mean, and I'm going
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  to keep doing it over and over and over again repeatedly.
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  That's the way my mind works and that's what I'm going to keep
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  doing because I think I'm entitled to doing that.
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  You just say, hey, hey, hey, it's just something to think
• 12:11
  about y'all. Something to think about this
• 12:12
  journey right here. Anyways, y'all my one on ones
• 12:16
  are still available. You can find all of that at
• 12:18
  mentalhillness.net. If you're new to doing a
• 12:20
  one-on-one or whatever you want to try it out, you can enter the
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  before the code works. I mean it was like new if you do
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  it did a one-on-one before the code mental 15 get you 15% off.
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  But also, if you want to be on the mental illness podcast, make
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  sure you check the link and there's a link in the
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  It says you want to be on the show.
• 12:43
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