Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 114 - How we define words defines us.

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 114 - How we define words defines us. · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  I am out here this morning on this very cloudy morning.
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  Everything seems to be so serene.
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  Everybody's so quiet. I've got chickens taking naps
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  and baby chicks taking naps. I don't know, it's very quiet
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  this morning. Must be the weather.
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  Anyway, today we are talking about words and what they mean
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  to us. So everyone defines things
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  differently, shocking as that may seem.
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  We can all generally agree on certain definitions for things,
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  but when it comes down to brass tacks, the reality is we really
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  have our own versions of definitions of most things.
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  So let me give you an example of what I mean by this.
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  I have a client who I cannot use the word goals with.
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  If I use the word goals, I swear to you, he gets so upset with me
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  and he's like, don't you remember?
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  I don't like that word. And I'm like, OK, I get I, I do
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  remember. And I'll every so often if I
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  forget, boy, he will just let me know how much that word means to
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  him. In the in the realm of
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  negativity, his father was very driven and would make him set
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  goals at an early age of like three and four years old.
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  And he was always extremely strict and harsh with him.
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  So that word has a meaning to him because words have emotions
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  attached to them. And for we can all agree that
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  there's a, there are definitions for things.
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  We can go to the dictionary and look it up and we can say
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  there's a definition. And yes, that's an agreeable
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  definition, but the emotion we attach to it is really how the
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  words affect us. Where this gets really
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  interesting is if you think about it in definition of
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  relationships and how we define our relationships.
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  I know for a fact that my word, my world says that the word love
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  means something very different often than my husband's
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  definition of that. Where I might say, oh, I love
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  this or oh, this is how I like, you know, this is how I show
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  love. His version of showing love is
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  very different and doesn't mean the same thing to him.
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  Where, you know, making dinner for him is a way that he shows
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  our family love. He loves to cook for us and have
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  it ready for us and that's how he defines love is one of his
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  ways. Showing his affection and
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  cooking for me, that's kind of a chore just to get done.
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  I don't really think of it that way, but he thinks of it that
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  way and that's OK. We can have these different
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  definitions, but it only works as long as we know we have these
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  different definitions so that we don't get offended by the other
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  person's actions. Now, there's a great book called
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  The Five Love Languages, and that does help when you are out
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  there and you're thinking about your partners and how you want
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  to influence them. So if you've never read the book
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  The Five Love Languages, it's a great book and it's very
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  helpful, but this really transcends just that part of our
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  world. Words consistently across the
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  board for people have different definitions.
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  If you say I want to go out and have a fun dinner and you are
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  people you're hanging around with have a very different
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  version of fun than you do, chances are you're going to be
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  let down, disappointed. And the only way you can get
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  around this is if you understand what everyone's definitions of
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  things mean. And quite frankly, we don't all
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  walk around with a little notebook clip to us that says,
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  Oh, yeah, well, let me share my definitions with you because
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  most of the time we don't even know what they are because no
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  one's ever taught us to look at it this way and define what
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  things are. So why this matters so much in
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  in your own world and your own everyday existence is that half
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  the time we don't know what things mean to us.
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  We don't know how to define them.
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  So therefore we get stuck. And when we get stuck, boy,
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  aren't with ourselves and our own way.
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  We go through things. It is detrimental to our
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  progress moving forward if we don't understand what we keep
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  running into and we keep doing the same thing.
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  So if we have this, this meaning that we've attached to going to
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  work, OK, so let's just say you go to work every day and you
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  just don't like going to work and you've got this association
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  to it and work. The word work to you just is
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  awful. Anytime you go right away,
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  you're going to start to feel a certain angst, a certain
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  sickness in your stomach. It's going to start to mean
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  something to you before you even get there, before anything even
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  happens. It starts the triggers to go
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  off. So what I want you guys to focus
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  on right now is figuring out when these emotions start to
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  show up and they're associated with certain words.
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  When you hear something, when someone says something to you
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  and you feel an emotion come up for it, you have to stop, pause,
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  ask yourself, is this something that is true?
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  Am I creating a meaning around this word that has no
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  association that I want? Am I doing something outside of
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  my well-being by sticking to this strategy and just keep
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  pushing myself through it? Or I keep running into the same
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  problems with the same people because I keep saying something
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  that's, you know, triggering them and the words mean
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  something because words matter. And even though they are 7% of
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  communication, what happens is the words are associated to
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  emotions. Always, always, always.
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  You know, it's kind of like you just mentioned the word snake to
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  some people and they freak out and it's like all I did was say
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  the word, but they have an instant reaction to it.
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  And that's across the board how humans work and human emotions
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  work. So know what those words are,
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  start to figure them out in yourself and question
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  everything. Because the more you question,
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  the better off you are at fixing what's going on inside of you.
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  So I hope you all have an amazingly wonderful blessed day
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  and I will see you tomorrow.