Latest / Mindful Success Path / Stop Chasing in Relationships By Using Divine Feminine Energy
Transcript
- 0:32have you ever felt like you're doing everything right in love, being available, being supportive, showing him you care, and yet he pulls away?
- 0:41Well, what if I told you that the energy that you're leading with is pushing him away, not actually pulling him in.
- 0:49Today, I'm gonna show you how to stop chasing these men out here and start radiating so that love and masculine men and money and whatever you want.
- 0:57Starts to come to you.
- 0:58I'm gonna teach you how to become the kind of woman that a healthy masculine man cannot stop thinking about.
- 1:05Hi, my name is Amanda.
- 1:06Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in your life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
- 1:14If that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video.
- 1:19We currently have a feminine.
- 1:22Energy communication series going on on this channel that you guys are really enjoying.
- 1:26We also talk a lot about nervous system regulation, prosperity consciousness, all the woo things we got you covered.
- 1:32So make sure to subscribe.
- 1:33If you like this video, give it a like, we're on a mission, uh, to help solve the relationship crisis going on in the world right now.
- 1:40There.
- 1:41So much confusion about relationships and healthy dynamics and what it means to be masculine and feminine and it's just crazy.
- 1:48So we're trying our best to get this in front of as many women as possible so they don't end up in janky relationships with feminized men.
- 1:56If you're on board with that mission, go ahead and give this a like,'cause it helps us get it in front of more.
- 2:03Women.
- 2:03And as always, I always have resources for you, for those of you who wanna go deeper, uh, into our paid containers or working with me, personally, you can find all the links to that below.
- 2:14For this particular video, the best resource to go deeper is going to be our masculine and feminine energy dynamics masterclass, where I go into describing polarity, what that looks like in different areas in your life, how to integrate it.
- 2:29Uh, within ourselves, because once you learn how to do that, life starts to get a lot easier.
- 2:33Whether you wanna make more money, whether you wanna attract a masculine man, things just start getting pretty cool.
- 2:39So make sure to check that out below.
- 2:43Okay, let's start with some honesty.
- 2:44Okay, big cysts, Amanda.
- 2:46Time here.
- 2:48Chasing a man does not work.
- 2:52Trying to convince a man that he should marry you.
- 2:56Does not work right?
- 2:59Try to convince your husband to go do a thing that you want him to do, also does not work.
- 3:07All of these are examples of chasing, and chasing is basically just control even when it's disguised as care.
- 3:16So when you initiate every conversation, when you plan every day, and you try to make him choose you, that's the problem Here.
- 3:24What you're really saying is.
- 3:26Your value as a woman comes from what you do, not who you are.
- 3:29So you got this backwards'cause you're already in that masculine position.
- 3:33And what happens is that energy actually repels healthy masculine men.
- 3:38Now what it does do though, is that it attracts unhealthy feminized men who will use you, who will build businesses off your back, who will leave you single, uh, and who will make you jump through hoops of fire.
- 3:49The polyamory bullshit, like that's what it's going to do.
- 3:52So we have to learn how to really shift that energy.
- 3:56So that healthy men, um, are attracted to us because masculine energy is very directional.
- 4:03It wants to pursue, it wants to penetrate, and it wants to win.
- 4:06But when you're the one doing all of that or trying to prove yourself, which is essentially doing that, is you're trying to prove yourself that you're good enough.
- 4:14They're the ones who need to prove not you, right?
- 4:16Basically, there's no space for him, uh, to show up and pursue you.
- 4:21Now, most women.
- 4:23Get into this wonky dynamic because it feels safer to stay in control than it does to surrender and wait.
- 4:30And I know this very personally because this was me for 15 years.
- 4:34I wanted to control everything.
- 4:36I still struggle, uh, with control.
- 4:39I grew up in environments where there were, uh, very controlling women and on both sides of my family, at least about three generations back.
- 4:46The women had to control because of life circumstances and things that were going on around them.
- 4:51So I understand it, and they gave me a lot of resilience and strength and, and confidence in a lot of ways.
- 4:57But I've had to learn how not to go overboard, um, with that control.
- 5:01And it is, it's a daily struggle.
- 5:03We all okay, if, you know, you know, it's a daily struggle, um, sometimes in terms of us learning.
- 5:10How to heal this.
- 5:11But once you start doing that feminine energy inner work, part of what we have to come to terms with is that we don't have to always be in control.
- 5:20The masculine is in control and we can trust and surrender.
- 5:23Uh, to that, and I, again, I know it's challenging, so we're gonna go into some of the ways that we can start doing that, because if we're in this chasing energy, whether you're making up a bunch of stories in your head about a guy you barely know, or whether you're the one planning a bunch of dates, or whether you're trying to manipulate your husband to do something, or you're trying to prove to a guy who's been with you for seven years but still hasn't put a ring on it, that you are worthy of being married, it all comes down to control.
- 5:51Um, and you not trusting that you are valuable enough as it is because if you trusted that you were valuable enough, as it is, a lot of you would not be in the situations that you're in.
- 6:01Now, granted a lot of you were, most of you were actually not taught what I'm teaching you in these videos, so obviously that has a lot to do with it as well.
- 6:09So again, make sure to give this a like and share it because a lot of women are very confused out here and we're trying to, uh, smooth that out.
- 6:16So.
- 6:17Now that we've got that out of the way, what actually makes a woman a feminine muse?
- 6:22Okay.
- 6:22The feminine, she doesn't chase, she inspires.
- 6:26And I've done other videos in terms of how to communicate in a way that actually inspires, uh, masculine men.
- 6:32So make sure to check those out.
- 6:34And also make sure to check out our masterclass on masculine and feminine energy dynamics because it's gonna help you see how these, uh, energies play with each other, right?
- 6:43And why you need both of them.
- 6:44But in this case, right, if Feminine Muse, she leads with her energy, not with effort.
- 6:51Now, what does that look like?
- 6:52Well, what that looks like is that she embodies the following.
- 6:55Number one, self-assurance.
- 6:57She knows that she's worthy of love without proving it.
- 7:01And what's going on a lot out here is that a lot of women are constantly trying to prove their love so that they are chosen.
- 7:09They don't realize that the ones who need to do the proving.
- 7:12Uh, is the man, right?
- 7:13Like if we look at the animal kingdom and we look at like a lot of the, the mating rituals of a lot of these animals, it's not the female who's out there dancing and doing things and puffing out her chest and doing all that stuff.
- 7:26It's the male who's doing that.
- 7:27It's not the female who's going out and getting in fights.
- 7:30It's the male who is doing that.
- 7:33Well.
- 7:33What makes you think humans are that different?
- 7:36At the end of the day when it comes to this, we're really not that different.
- 7:40Um, now what makes us different is we can make choices all the time.
- 7:43For them, it's instinct, it's nature, and for us, we can say no to that.
- 7:47So that's what makes us different.
- 7:49The other thing, uh, is emotional openness, right?
- 7:53So she's not afraid to feel her feelings.
- 7:55She expresses them rather than suppresses them.
- 7:58Now, I was the type of woman who would.
- 8:00Uh, suppress my feelings, and I still have to be, uh, mindful of this because I will get my feelings, I will not express it.
- 8:07I will suppress it.
- 8:08I will go too hard on something.
- 8:10I'll burn myself out.
- 8:11Like, that's kind of the cycle that I get into because that's a, a behavior that I had from my old life, as I call it.
- 8:17Whereas I was uncomfortable feeling my feelings, and then rather than feeling my feelings in some healthy way, like perhaps journaling it out or learning how to communicate, I would just go work and then I would feel better because that was my addiction.
- 8:30If that makes sense.
- 8:31Um, a lot of you may, uh, relate to that and for some reason it's addictions.
- 8:36For some people, it's addictions in other ways, uh, to suppress, uh, those emotions.
- 8:41And now, on the flip side of this, right, we don't also don't wanna be a drama queen because the drama queens are actually in their wounded feminine energy.
- 8:49They're the ones who let, just let their emotions run the show, and they're constantly reacting to everything around them, which honestly is most.
- 8:56Of humanity, if we're being honest.
- 8:59They're just going around reacting, uh, to everything.
- 9:02So those of you who are suppressing your emotions, you're at least in a better place than the ones who are constantly reacting.
- 9:08But what we wanna get to is that middle place.
- 9:11And that middle place is called emotional mastery.
- 9:14That middle place is nervous system regulation, and that middle place is learning how to communication skills.
- 9:20Uh, to be able to, uh, feel your feelings and express those feelings without blowing everything up around you in the way that you choose to do that.
- 9:29The next thing is magnetism through presence.
- 9:33So the feminine is not always doing unless she's inspired to do stuff, right?
- 9:37Like I'm inspired to do this YouTube channel.
- 9:39This is super fun for me.
- 9:40I like making classes for you guys.
- 9:42I like making these videos.
- 9:43Uh, but I will be done with these videos today and then I'm done for the day.
- 9:47Until tomorrow.
- 9:48Um, because that, that's what I have set time aside, uh, to do today.
- 9:52But I enjoy doing this, right?
- 9:54This is a creative thing for me.
- 9:55I feel like I'm giving back in a lot of ways and hey, it makes money too, so why not, right?
- 10:00I enjoy it.
- 10:01Um, but I'm not always doing this.
- 10:03I'm not always on.
- 10:04Now this is very different from the Amanda of before.
- 10:08So the Amanda of before, um, because she had to be in control all the time.
- 10:14She would make videos and then, you know, be like, oh, this is the one that's gonna make money.
- 10:18This is the one that's gonna do this.
- 10:19This is the one that's gonna do that.
- 10:21But there was, you could, I mean, I can tell in looking at old videos from old YouTube channels that like I wasn't really having fun.
- 10:27I was really forcing myself to even talk about these things in a lot of ways.
- 10:31Whereas with this YouTube channel, and also when I make cameo appearances on my husband's YouTube channel for his business, it's fun.
- 10:38This is just my life.
- 10:39This is just what I do.
- 10:40This is what I like to talk about.
- 10:41This is what I like to help people with.
- 10:43Uh, it's, it's, it's fun for me, uh, to do this.
- 10:46And when you're having fun, right, you're automatically magnetic, right?
- 10:50So if you're doing stuff from a place of joy, fun, and pleasure, that's totally different than forcing yourself to do stuff that's also totally different than those of you who are constantly doing stuff to prove your worthiness.
- 11:01I'm talking to you, achievement addict.
- 11:03Out there where it's like you're starting three businesses, you're going for your MBA, you've got alphabet soup at the end of the name and you're taking the 10th certification, you talking to you.
- 12:15Um, men don't care about any of that stuff.
- 12:17FYI, they just do not give a shit.
- 12:19Um, but what happens is a lot of women will get, uh, caught up in that.
- 12:23And again, it's control, right?
- 12:25That's, that's all it is.
- 12:26It, it makes you feel safe.
- 12:27It makes you have, um, a form of control in some way to know that you're always busy and you're always up to something and you're always running.
- 12:35Uh, and you don't allow yourself to just rest and be the feminine needs to rest.
- 12:39And B.
- 12:41Um, now of course we live in a more masculine world'cause that's how it's set up.
- 12:45So how do you rest and be well?
- 12:47Number one, know when you're done, right?
- 12:49So, for example, I'm done.
- 12:51When I'm done filming these videos today, I'm ouch, uh, because I need that time to rest.
- 12:56Uh, when I get more rest, I feel more regulated.
- 12:59I get better ideas.
- 13:00So on and so forth.
- 13:02Cycle sinking is another really great way of doing that that most women don't even know about.
- 13:06You can use the power of your period to know when it is you're supposed to rest.
- 13:11So for example, when I'm bleeding, those are my rest days, right?
- 13:14If I am in my first week or my second week, that's when I have the most energy.
- 13:19So I might do more during those weeks, but once I start getting into like the second half, the luteal phase and then actually bleeding, that's when I rest.
- 13:27Okay.
- 13:28So that's one way that you can do it.
- 13:30Or maybe you just set a time, some time aside, every single week.
- 13:33I know a lot of you got like small kids and stuff like that.
- 13:36Maybe it's two hours a week, and that's all you got right now.
- 13:38Okay, well, you treat those two, you pick a day on the calendar and you treat those two hours a week like it's freaking sacred and you give to yourself.
- 13:46Rather than constantly doing stuff for other people, and this is actually why the, uh, housewife archetype is not actually a feminine woman.
- 13:56So a lot of people will say like the trad wife or the housewife archetype that she's the, the epitome of femininity.
- 14:02It's actual bullshit because she was so busy doing everything for everybody else and walking across eggshells and suppressing her own emotions and her own feelings that she was actually quite controlling and.
- 14:13Masculine in a lot of ways.
- 14:14So don't use that archetype or that trope as an example of the ultimate feminine woman, because that's also a part of what causes a lot of the confusion out here also, that was like a uniquely American thing, right?
- 14:25That didn't necessarily happen in other cultures, uh, in other countries, uh, quite in that way.
- 14:32And then finally, uh, you become amused by communicating boundaries with softness.
- 14:38A feminine woman says no with grace and she honors herself, right?
- 14:41So she might say something like, oh, I'm flattered.
- 14:44Thank you so much for thinking of me.
- 14:46But no, for example, so you wanna think of a muse as a woman who awakens something within a man, not by being loud and demanding and being like, I need a man who makes six figures.
- 14:58I need a man who makes more money than me.
- 14:59I need him to be six two with blue eyes.
- 15:01Not that right.
- 15:03Not by telling a man what to do, not by chasing and planning everything, but by being fully expressed in her own energy.
- 15:10Which is why I always tell you guys, don't do this stuff with the intention of trying to get a specific man.
- 15:15Do this stuff with the intention of improving your own life, and the men will show up.
- 15:19That's how this works.
- 15:21Okay, next part is how to shift out of that chasing energy.
- 15:26So if you're ready to stop chasing, here's how you start embodying more of the feminine magnetism and start becoming more of that feminine muse that drives him wild.
- 15:34So number one, you wanna pause before you reach out.
- 15:37This is for those of you who are dating specifically, right?
- 15:40You wanna ask yourself, Hey, am I acting and expressing and reaching out to him from a place of desire and fun and joy and pleasure?
- 15:48Or is it out of fear of losing him?
- 15:51Now, if most of you are being honest with yourselves, it's because you're afraid of losing him, and that's why you're reaching out.
- 15:57It's that nervous energy that wants to express itself.
- 16:00It's the control.
- 16:01So chasing and initiating for a woman often comes from anxiety.
- 16:06Not intuition.
- 16:08And we have to learn how to tell the difference between the two in those situations.
- 16:12And you can start learning the difference by actually pausing, uh, before you do something.
- 16:16Just because you have a thought doesn't mean that you have to take action on that thought in that very moment.
- 16:21And that's what most people out here do.
- 16:23They have a thought and they think that thought is a green light to go take some action on that thought.
- 16:28No, it's just a thought.
- 16:30Same thing with feelings, right?
- 16:31It's just a feeling.
- 16:32It doesn't mean you go act on the feeling right now.
- 16:35So we have to learn how to start pausing so we can start figuring out, okay, what am I actually feeling, um, in this moment?
- 16:42And then we can start getting, I have no better way of saying this.
- 16:44We can start getting some data on what is going on.
- 16:48The next thing.
- 16:49Is you wanna learn how to pour into yourself because your energy comes from being magnetic when you're lit up from the inside.
- 16:56Do you wanna know why this YouTube channel makes money?
- 16:58Because this is fun for me and I'm lit up from the inside.
- 17:01Obviously, I also know what I'm doing when it comes to sales and marketing.
- 17:06My husband is a systems.
- 17:08Funnel, uh, tech genius.
- 17:11Some of you have met him already'cause you know, he, he have a disaster with tech.
- 17:17Some of you have met him and he provides a lot of structure in that way.
- 17:21But it's'cause it's fun and it's because this lights me up and it's because I'm not just.
- 17:25Saying this shit, I'm also living it and I'm embodying it.
- 17:30And what happens that becomes very, uh, magnetic because I can tell you from before that you can learn, you can know how YouTube works, you can learn how analytics works, you can do stuff because it's going to make money and it's nowhere near as magnetic and it's nowhere near as easy something that you just have fun doing and very naturally.
- 17:49Um.
- 17:49Comes outta you, right?
- 17:50So that would be an example of that.
- 17:52It's the same thing in dating.
- 17:54If you're taking care of yourself and you're pouring into yourself, if your entire life doesn't revolve around, uh, man or men in general, then you know that makes you more magnetic and radiant and inspired and soft.
- 18:06What we want to avoid is what I used to do, which is what a lot of you do, the achievement addict specifically, is that you avoid the whole relationships.
- 18:14Sphere in the name of work and money, because that's control.
- 18:17And that's what's going to make you, uh, safe, uh, in the world.
- 18:21We want to avoid that.
- 18:21So again, it's that middle ground.
- 18:23It's finding that balance.
- 18:24You're gonna hear me talking about that middle ground a lot, uh, on this channel because that's, that's where we find a lot more peace.
- 18:31Um, next thing is you want to let him lead.
- 18:34You'd be surprised at how many women out here.
- 18:37Don't let men lead.
- 18:39And I understand.
- 18:40'cause it's hard.
- 18:40It's a difficult thing to do because when you are used to having anxiety, when you are used to controlling, when you're not used to regulating your nervous system, when you haven't had good examples of how to actually communicate with men in your life with most, which most women have not, uh, then of course you have anxiety and you wanna control everything.
- 18:57'cause you need to feel safe and you need to feel like you need to take care of yourself in this crazy, dangerous, scary world.
- 19:02Um, so.
- 19:04It is hard to surrender to that, right?
- 19:07But that's why we have to work on our own feelings and our anxiety and our nervous systems first, because when we learn to start feeling safe in ourselves and trust ourselves, then we can trust ourselves to pick better men.
- 19:18Um,'cause that's also a part of it, right?
- 19:20If we're picking men from that place of anxiety and nervous system dysregulation and all kinds of stuff, like, you're gonna pick, keep picking the wrong ones.
- 19:28But if you.
- 19:29Um, really learn how to regulate yourself, and you learn how to trust yourself and be in a safer space and not let your anxiety control everything.
- 19:37You're gonna pick better ones and better ones are going to pick you.
- 19:41Um, so letting him lead, let's get back to that.
- 19:44It doesn't mean being passive, right?
- 19:46It means trusting that if he's.
- 19:49He's going to move toward you.
- 19:50And if he doesn't, then you have the answer that you need.
- 19:53A lot of you in the comment section are obsessed over one dude.
- 19:56Some of you, sometimes you've been dating the dude for seven years and he still hasn't put a ring on it.
- 20:01Other times you barely know the guy and you'll be like, that's my man.
- 20:05And then it comes to find out you've never even talked to the guy.
- 20:08Right?
- 20:08And other times it's like you have a, a cursory, um.
- 20:13Encounter with a man, and then you become obsessed with the man, right?
- 20:16Right.
- 20:16That's all controlling, uh, chasing behavior.
- 20:19Whereas a feminine muse, number one, she doesn't get caught up in any of that stuff because she's busy living her own damn life.
- 20:25Um, and, and pouring into herself and what she enjoys doing and her pleasure and while she's open at the same time.
- 20:33Um, and number two, like if a man is not coming toward her, she doesn't care because she knows the right.
- 20:38One will.
- 20:40And then finally, you wanna learn how to express, not explain.
- 20:44A lot of you in the masculine energy are in this constant explaining, proving, defensiveness.
- 20:50I get it.
- 20:50It's that anxiety again.
- 20:52It's that need to control, it's the need to feel safe.
- 20:55Believe me.
- 20:55I understand.
- 20:56I get it.
- 20:57Okay.
- 20:57I've done all of these things too, but with practice, um, and by watching videos like this and working with me and signing up for our programs, you can get better at this stuff, I promise.
- 21:07'cause if I can do it, you can do it because.
- 21:09One way to express instead of explain is to use i I feel statements rather than over-explaining your value.
- 21:17So you can say, Hey, you know, I really love it and it makes me feel really good and taken care of when you reach out first.
- 21:23'cause I just feel so cherished when you do that.
- 21:25That's it.
- 21:26You don't have to go into, I like it when a man reaches out first'cause that's what he should be doing and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- 21:32Which is what a lot of women out here do.
- 21:34You don't need to be doing all that.
- 21:35We don't need to be doing the rah rah.
- 21:37Okay.
- 21:37We just need to learn how to express ourselves in a way that actually inspires, um, masculine men to move toward us.
- 21:44And the thing is that when you shift into that energy, you become completely unforgettable to a man because it's not about how hard you tried, it's about how deeply, uh, you felt.
- 21:54And it's about the emotions that you invoke in him.
- 21:57Men remember the women who make them feel alive, inspired, and safe to be masculine.
- 22:03A lot of men out here are afraid to even open a door.
- 22:06For you right now because of the five women that chewed his ass out when he did that for them before he even met you.
- 22:13So you have to realize that as well.
- 22:15And I'll tell you a story from, um, my own relationship and my own marriage.
- 22:19My, my husband did the international and my husband's lived in different countries.
- 22:23Uh, he runs the business where he helped successful, uh, business owners and investors relocate to other countries.
- 22:28He's managing some properties here in Mexico as well.
- 22:32He's lived in Columbia, he's lived in Europe.
- 22:34Um, he's, he is, he's had a, I, I joke with him and I'm like, you did like the United Nations of dating, right?
- 22:41So he, he had his fair share, um, in his twenties before he met me.
- 22:47When he met me, he was gobsmacked.
- 22:49He's like, you're different now.
- 22:52He has since explained to me why, and the reason why is'cause I didn't do any of the basic stuff that all these other women all around the world, by the way.
- 23:01Uh, we're doing.
- 23:02I wasn't complaining when he was working really hard.
- 23:04Go work, babe.
- 23:05Go make that money.
- 23:06Go take care of us.
- 23:07I love it when you do that.
- 23:08Uh, most women would not do that.
- 23:10They would just bitch that he's working too hard.
- 23:12Um, you know, I would appreciate him and his efforts.
- 23:15Most women would not do that.
- 23:17Um, you know, it doesn't mean I've been perfect.
- 23:19Of course I haven't.
- 23:20Right?
- 23:20No one's perfect out here and I'm improving constantly and trying to learn, uh, for myself and also for you guys.
- 23:28And, um, he's like, you just stood out because you weren't basic.
- 23:32Most women out here are totally basic because they don't understand these things, and what I'm trying to help you do is not be basic because masculine men are going to take notice when a woman is above the riffraff that is out here, right.
- 23:50Now and when a man notices that about you, right?
- 23:54'cause masculine men are smart and they know when they know, when they have found it and they're immediately drawn to it.
- 24:00That's when you can stop chasing and you can come home to your feminine.
- 24:05And that's when you've got providers and that's when you got people who will protect you.
- 24:09That's when you got people who are not going to expect you to work.
- 24:12If you don't want you, that's when you have men who actually cherish you and your needs and will move heaven and earth.
- 24:18To make sure that you are happy and will not make you jump through a bunch of hoops of fire to try and prove your worth, uh, to them.
- 24:28And they also don't take that long to make decisions about whether or not they wanna marry you.
- 24:32For those of you who are interested in marriage.
- 24:35So if this spoke to your heart and you really wanna go deeper, then I really do invite you to that masculine and feminine energy dynamics masterclass.
- 24:43Below I go a lot deeper into the different energy polarities and how they dance with each other in different areas of life.
- 24:50It's really gonna help you understand, uh, not just the skills, right, but also the dynamics.
- 24:55Behind these skills and why they work the way that they do.
- 24:58So you can download that uh, below.
- 25:01Also, a lot of you have been asking a lot of like questions.
- 25:04We've been getting emails and comments about your specific situation.
- 25:07Make sure to email me the information on how to do that.
- 25:11Is below, because there's no way for me to know without context, right?
- 25:15And once I chat with you about context, and I can point you in the right direction because it's pretty hard for me to make videos when I just have like one question and I have zero context on the man, on you, on the relationship, how it's going, where you're at in your head.
- 25:29If I don't know these things, then I cannot give an appropriate answer.
- 25:32That requires, uh, coaching and perhaps some trainings.
- 25:35So if that's you, make sure to email me in the information and how to do that.
- 25:39We'll be below so I can actually give the appropriate, uh, coaching and guidance.
- 25:44Thank you so much for giving me your time today, and I'll catch you on the next one.
- 25:48I.