Latest / The Father's Business Podcast / Summer Series: Safe in the Father's Heart-Abandoned No More: Recognizing the Father Who Never Leaves

Transcript

Summer Series: Safe in the Father's Heart-Abandoned No More: Recognizing the Father Who Never Leaves · The Father's Business Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: The Father's Business was founded by Sylvia Gunter to encourage people to a deeper relationship with God.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I'm Elizabeth Gunter Powell.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: And I am Kimberly Roddy.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Father's Business Podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: We are so glad that you've joined us.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Father's Business Podcast, Kimberly, and I are so glad you're with us today.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: This episode centers around one of the most common and most complex wounds that many of us carry, and that is abandonment.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: And I think all of us carry it to a certain degree.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Some of us have a story, like my mom does, where a parent left the home and you did not see them again.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: But in all of our lives there's some level or feeling of abandonment, that deep gut level, fear of being left or unseen or unsupported.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: And even if we can't name it, we've often felt the ripple effects of it.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Whether it stems from childhood, from a loss or a betrayal in one of our relationships, or just the chaos of life, All of these things can leave an imprint of abandonment upon our hearts.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: And so today's episode we're going to hear again from my mom, Sylvia, and what she calls her out-the-window moment.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: And it was just an ordinary Monday.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: And yet suddenly everything she's been holding inside of her and trying to kind of press down erupts.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: And this was years into walking with God, years into teaching about his love.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: She found herself yelling you were never there for me at God, and just being overwhelmed by the abandonment that had imprinted on her heart for all those years.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: And I think many of us have probably had moments like that.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Whether they look the same way or not, we all usually have moments where the grief or the fear or the loneliness bubbles up unexpectedly and we wonder am I still carrying this?
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: And what I love about this story is that it's not tied up with a neat bow.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: In the end it's real, it's redemptive, because in that moment Sylvia asked God did I transfer that abandonment onto you?
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: He answered her heart with a gentle reply no, it caused you to draw closer to me.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: It's an interesting thought to consider.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, kimberly, I think about that often because I mean, you know, as people probably know, there's what's in the book that you feel safe sharing, and then there's even more trauma that happened between my mom and her dad.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: That is not included in the book, but I look at all of that and I've often been surprised and wondered about that little all the way through her adulthood have an earthly father that did so many things that were hurtful and caused so much abandonment in her life and yet, instead of it pushing her away from God, it pushed her closer to him, and I know that is the work of grace that is God wooing her and helping her to see and understand.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I am not who your earthly father was, but of all the stories I've heard of people who have struggled with these types of issues, I just really do marvel at the fact that my mom was able to actually feel like she had more of an understanding of the Father heart of God and the way that he did redeem all of that pain and used it not only in our own life but to impact the lives of others.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: So this episode is not just about identifying the wound but understanding that God is trying to woo us into a deeper relationship with him.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: We can rehearse all the ways that people have not been there for us, or we can shift our focus to the one who's always been present, whether we knew it or not.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: And that's not easy to do because, honestly, there's a part of me that somewhat enjoys rehearsing the way that people have wronged me.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: And it's not always easy to shift from that place of pain into a place of trust.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: And sometimes it's hard for us to do because we're not even aware that we're reacting out of an old wounded place when we react.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: But sometimes the trigger is something completely different, like if my computer breaks down or someone cancels on me or someone's slow to reply to me when I try to reach out to them saying I'm not doing okay, all of a sudden I'm spiraling.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: And it's not because of what just happened in the relationship here this current year.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: It's about what happened a long time ago that it just kind of hit on those same nerves and those same places in my heart.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that is exactly where abiding in God becomes more than just a nice idea.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Abiding in God needs to be the way that we live.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: John 15 tells us to abide in his love.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: The word abide means to stay, to remain, to dwell, to continue.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: Not just once, but again and again and again and again.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: Healing also isn't a one-time thing.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: It's not a one-time prayer.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Not just once, but again and again and again and again.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Healing also isn't a one-time thing.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: It's not a one-time prayer, it's a daily return.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: These wounds that we're talking about are deep and they, like you said, when certain things happen that are unrelated, that touch those wounds.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: That is an opportunity for us to realize, hey, I still need healing here, and it's an over and over again returning to Jesus for that healing and Kimberly.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I hear you and I completely agree with you, but at the same time, can it not just be a one time thing?
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: But it's like the gym.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: If I could go to the gym and get in perfect healthy condition once and then once you do it, it stays I'd be a whole lot more exciting about exercising than I am about the.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: As soon as you stop eating right, as soon as you stop exercising, your body starts going back the other way.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: So sad sad but true, maybe encouraging and discouraging at the same time.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Discouraging that this is going to be a lifetime process, but also encouraging that if you feel like in some way you don't have it together and you're struggling today, it's okay because you can keep coming back to him and keep coming back to him and keep bringing it back to him and slowly, over time, I think you'll be able to look back on your journey and see I may not be where I need to be, but I'm in a different place that I was a few years ago.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Also, in this episode we're going to get into the difference between recognizing God's voice versus the voice of the accuser.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Truly tuning into this Father's kind, non-condemning voice is such a game changer in how we navigate through our wounds, when we began to listen to the loving words of the Father rather than the hurtful words of the accuser.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: You're also going to hear today some practical ways that we do that from recalling memories of God's faithfulness to worship to simply sitting in silence and asking God how do you love me?
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: He will answer, maybe not audibly, maybe not instantly, but in the stillness he speaks, and it's always love.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: And we end this episode with something really special.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Our friend Richard is going to read the blessing of your belovedness to us.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: It's one of the most tender, hope-filled blessings from Safe in the Father's Heart and it's the perfect benediction for this episode today.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: And you may not know Richard, but let us tell you, richard is a wonderful, loving father, grandfather, and so if you have never heard those words of affirmation from your earthly father, we're going to invite you to hear them from Richard, who has a deep heart for God and a deep heart for people.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: So, whether you're listening to this on a hard day or just need a reminder of what's true, let this be a moment of refuge.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: I really want to invite you just to settle down.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: I know oftentimes I'm listening to these things on the go while I'm doing something else.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: I want to invite you just to take a moment to be still and really let it soak in to the deepest parts of your spirit, soul and body.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: You are not abandoned, you are not alone.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: You are deeply, fully and eternally loved, and we want you to hear the way that your father sings over you today.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Welcome everybody to this week's podcast.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: This week we're going to focus in on chapter 10 in the book, if you're reading, along with this, which is called Out the Window, which begins with my mom, sylvia, sharing a little bit more of her story, of the struggle that continued as she tried to grasp with the thought and the belief that God truly is a good father.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: So let's listen in and hear her story.
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: I was a different person, resting in my father's love.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: The father's love continued to reinforce my feeling of worth and belonging.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: I was years along in this process of learning to trust God as father when he interrupted a normal Monday morning.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: I had sent our family off to work and school.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: I had loaded the dishes in the dishwasher and then put a load of laundry in the washer.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: I was headed upstairs to change the linens on the beds.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: I was taking the shortcut through the dining room on the way to the stairs.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: All of a sudden I heard myself yell you were never there for me.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: It was intense, raw emotion that came up from my depths.
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: I went to the dining room window and drew back the lace curtains with my left hand so I could look out across the autumn treetops below.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: I asked who was not there for me.
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: I began a litany of perceived losses of presence, of relationship.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: My father was not there for me.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: My mother was not there for me as she dealt with her own pain.
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: My husband's busy work schedule made him unavailable at times.
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: Our second son had just gone off to college, which is a perfectly normal rite of passage, but still was a loss of relationship that I had known.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: So he was not there for me.
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: Two prayer partners had taken jobs and our prayer group disbanded, so they were not there for me.
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: The church was not there for me.
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: Various friends had not been there for me.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: The list went not there for me.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: Various friends had not been there for me.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: The list went on and on.
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: As the instant replay of losses rose like a highlight reel, I suddenly began to see a lifetime pattern of feeling abandoned and afraid that no one would be there for me.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: It made sense that so many things in my life came from that route of abandonment.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: For example, I was well-known in my family but became frantic when I lost something.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: I overreacted because it was not there for me.
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: That day, as the flood of memories subsided, I remember very quietly asking God did I transfer that abandonment to you?
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: I will never forget his reply to my heart.
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: As I stood staring out the window, I heard his still small voice say no.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: It caused you to draw closer to me.
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: That statement resonated in a deep place inside me.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: I knew that it was true.
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: I never would have asked for the circumstances I had lived through.
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: I wish it could have been different.
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: I wish I had responded differently.
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: But what the enemy meant for evil, god redeemed for his glory.
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: The pain and struggle I felt drove me to my Heavenly Father and made me delight in his love that much more.
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: I had been diligent to pursue God as Father and allow him to heal my heart.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: But apparently a trigger was still there.
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: Inevitably in life, something somebody else does or says hits our abandonment button and we feel that we are a prisoner of abandonment all over again.
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: The deeper the original abandonment wound, the harder the new provocation hits us.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: And the more times this happens it compounds and builds.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: Fear of abandonment is serious and heavy.
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: It feels like a predator, ready to pounce and blindside us when we least expect it.
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: Regrettably, we will all experience loss in some form through death, divorce, the end of our friendship and move to a different place.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: The list is almost endless.
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: The question becomes what do you do with the pain?
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: So, as Sylvia was just saying there that um abandonment wound is, um, it's pretty deep, it's serious, it's heavy, like she said, um, it, it.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: It blindsides us a lot of times and we're not aware that that's what's being triggered Um, um.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: And I really like what she was saying earlier about asking God did I transfer that abandonment to you?
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: And he said no, it caused you to draw closer to me, is what she heard his still small voice say, and I think we've alluded to that, elizabeth.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: It's really important to recognize that these father wounds in us.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: For some people it's the abandonment wound, for others it has other names the rejection, or what are some of the others.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I mean if your father was physically abusive, it's fear.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: It all depends on what your relationship was with your dad, but we all have those statements that we believe to be true, based on those types of wounds.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: So in all those wounds we have an opportunity.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: They will do one of two things to us.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: They will cause us to walk toward and draw closer to our Father, god, and lean on Him.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: And still that gets messy and it's in and out of leaning on him and leaning away from him, and you know tension and that.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: But generic, generally speaking, some choose to lean toward, draw closer to God, lean toward him, and then others choose to turn away from God because it's just too painful to face or it's too.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: The wounds go too deep, the hurt's too strong, the fear is too big, whatever, and so we turn away from God.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: And in all of that, I think in a lot of those places, if we could recognize the fear and name it for ourselves, which takes work if we could recognize it's a fear of abandonment, it's a fear of rejection, it's a fear, a literal, physical fear, it whatever our, if we can recognize our story and what it comes out of.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: I don't think that makes it easier, so to speak, but I think it makes us more aware so that when it hits we can try to process it differently.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah absolutely.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I think in some ways it it also makes you feel a little less crazy.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean because it's not like when, when my abandonment issue or my feeling unwanted, or I have to work hard so that I'm not a burden.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Whatever my father wounds are when they spring up, it has nothing to do with my dad, and sometimes it's about another relationship.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's about a mechanical object my computer won't do what I need it to do and all of a sudden, I have this overwhelming feeling that no one is there for me.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Even my computer is not there for me.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: And so you have this overwhelming, as we talked about on the Orphan Heart podcast.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: You have this overwhelming response to something going on in your life and if you can, as you say, kimberly, stop and name it and say okay, yes, it's frustrating that my computer just shut down and I lost what I was working on, but that does not equal the level of response I'm having to this.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: This is obviously playing and hitting on some old false beliefs that I'm still holding on to, and so, yeah, I remember a story a friend of mine told a guy.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: A friend of mine was working on a car and he couldn't figure out how to get something put back together on his car and he had a complete meltdown.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: That was way beyond what it should have been, and I mean so.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: That was another.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: You know object was it wasn't a human had said something to me that was way beyond what it should have been, and I mean so.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: That was another you know object was it wasn't a human had said something to me that was hurtful.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: It's that in this moment, I don't have the resources I need, I don't have the wisdom, I don't have a dad here for me to help me figure out how to fix my car, and so a lot, of, a lot of times we've just got to, and so a lot of times we've just got to.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: It helps me, and that's why I say feel less crazy is okay.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I understand why I'm having this reaction and, yes, it would be abnormal of me to have this level of reaction about the computer.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: But if you add the layers of my history and my story on top of this, this makes more sense, because I'm feeling helpless and alone and out of control and no one is coming to help save me in the situation.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Therefore, I have to do it on my own Right.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Those, those are so much deeper places.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think in a lot of those places it's, it doesn't?
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: It still sometimes doesn't make sense.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Um, and, and I'll share a little bit of my personal story here to um, and I'll share a little bit of my personal story here to kind of talk about what I mean here.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Like I had colic as a baby I was a firstborn and my mom talks about like I just wouldn't stop crying, yeah, yeah, and she didn't know what to do, right, it worked, yeah, yeah.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: And she didn't know what to do, right, it worked.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: And one doctor told her I just had a temper and finally, you know, maybe truth in that, but that wasn't the problem.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Um.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: But finally a doctor said she just has the colic and um.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: So they made some adjustments and changes to my formula and things that I was eating.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: And mom says she remembers seeing me smile for the first time and just being a happy baby because the internal pain in my body subsided.
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: But I was a baby, so I didn't know how to tell them I was hurting, except to cry.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Right, that's all.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: I had, yeah, and my mom didn't know what to do because she'd never had that situation before.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: And so there can be these deep things in us, like along the journey.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: God has kind of helped me reconcile that there's times that I feel like a burden, because when I had colic I was a burden.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Like I wasn't intentionally a burden.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: My mom didn't want to see me as a burden, but my mom.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: There was a time where my mom had had so much crying of me, she went on a, I think, a business trip with my dad and left me with my grandparents because she needed a break.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: And that was legitimate and in my adult mind I absolutely would validate that and say to any of my friends take a break yeah but for anyone who understands attachment theory and a lot of these things which I'm not an expert on, but, um, I love the ideas that are behind that.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: It's similar to this like we, I don't realize that in there a message is being developed in my small little space, my small infant space, and so there's a fear that again, I don't know how clearly this is articulated, like it takes years to put this together, but part of me is like okay, well, I think I might feel abandoned if I cry too much.
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Um well, wow, that's a big statement.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's not logically.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: I'm not aware of that, but I'm reacting to that constantly.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: I'm in situations and you're like oh, don't cry, don't cry, don't.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Ooh, you don't want to react.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: You have to react the proper way, the right way, whatever that is.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: And so you're believing a lie, you're believing a message, that one my, I had good parents.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: They didn't want to put that on me, but it's, that's what I'm saying.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Like, sometimes there's obvious situations where you're clear oh, here's what's happening here.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: I am being hurt and harmed.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: In this situation, no one was intending harm, but it still had an impact.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: And so I think there's like in the book it says I so wish there was.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: There could be a one time prayer like a magic formula that could zap all of this and make it disappear, so we never had to deal with this again.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: There's not, no, and God was intentional with that.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: I think he created us to desire acceptance and belonging, connection and intimacy, because his deepest desire for us is to come to him, to abide in him and to be with him, and so those things draw us to him, but they still leave us in that space.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, and it gets triggered over and over and over again.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and sometimes, sometimes for me, I can stop and I can recognize hey, this is a lie.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: But other times I can't Like this is a lie, that I'm feeling abandoned.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: I'm not really abandoned, I'm putting that onto a situation that doesn't belong to right, like I'm reacting to a situation.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I can recognize that, unfortunately, more often than not, I don't.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: I hope to grow in that, yeah, but I think that's a journey Probably a lot of us find ourselves in of just I had a good childhood.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: What's wrong with me?
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, and I think all of us, whether it's something from our childhood or just even some of us, are carrying around wounds from broken dating relationships, like all different types of relationships.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Wherever there's been any kind of rejection, there are those statements of if I had just been a different person, if I had just done a different thing, then they would not have left me.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: And I know that's something that mom struggled through the years is, you know what?
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: What was her part in her dad leaving?
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: You know, and and I mean that that is a childlike question to ask that I think all kids going through a divorce think well, if we, if we had just acted different, mom and dad maybe still would still be together.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: But there's obviously a lot more going on in a marriage than just the kids.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: But those, those are the types of things we question and I'm with you, kimberly.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I can catch it and go.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: You know what this is.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: The situation I'm in is hitting that abandonment button in me and I need to be mindful of that and proactively seek out God in this and other times I'm, you know, through my second pint of Ben and Jerry's before I figure out what's going on.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: So that's what that's like.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you have to wait and go.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, where as we talked about in a podcast this last fall about broken cisterns where do you run?
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: You know, whatever your fix is, when you find yourself deeply searching after that fix, that's when it's time to stop and go.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, am I eating ice cream just because ice cream is delicious and it's summertime and I want some?
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Or am I eating ice cream because somewhere along the way I've gotten triggered by something and I'm trying to mask the pain of an old wound instead of going to Jesus with it?
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: And I'm with you.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I wish several things in life you did once and they stuck.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Like I wish you could pray for God to heal all of your abandonment issues and for all of the completely gone forever.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: I wish, if you exercised and got in shape, that it would stay like.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: There's lots of things that I wish, but that's not the pattern we see in scripture, and there's a familiar verse in Matthew where Jesus says come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest and take my yoke upon you and learn from me, and I, for I, am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: For my yoke is easy and burden is light.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: And that verb come is that present, continuous action verb.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: It's not a one-time thing.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: We don't just come to Jesus once.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: It's this come and keep on coming and having to continually choose to be present and continually choose to come back to him.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Because again, that's another one I wish I could take the yoke of Jesus upon me once, and then I would live perfectly in the yoke of Jesus.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: But that's not what life looks like here.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: It's a lot more about.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Am I more easily able to recognize when things aren't going well and get myself back to God?
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: To me that is growth and that is healing, because we're never going to get to a place where we're 100% living in the safety and security of who God is and who we are in Him and never struggle.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: So that reminds me of John 15, where Jesus encourages us to abide, right, abide in His love.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: On page 72 in the book, the word abide is a quote here.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: The word abide means to continue to be present, to be held and kept continually.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: So that's that present, continuous sense, the same that's used in that Matthew 11 of come and keep coming Right, Just abide and keep abiding, be continue to come and be present and be held and be kept in God's love.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: And it's an invitation.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Like I love that word, like we all love to.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Well, most of us love to receive an invitation.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: I guess it depends on what it's for, but you know you're wanted when you receive an invitation, and so it's an invitation from our Father to rest in his love, to appreciate his love, to sit in his love, to be held in his love and to stay in his love.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: And I think the longer we stay there, the more we get to know him and his voice, right, right, yeah, we get to know him and his voice, right, right, yeah, because sometimes when we sit in our wounds, we begin to believe I said earlier the lie, right, um, and not recognize sometimes that it's a lie, like it takes us longer to realize, wait, that was a lie, that's not the truth or that's not right, um, and and uh, you know the people that we spend time with.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: We know their voice, right, and so when we abide with someone, we spend time with him, then we get to know his voice and then we can know the voice of the imposter.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but so, so important to really tune our hearts in and be able to know what God's voice sounds like.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: And I know for some people they're like that sounds like an alien concept, like we have been at conferences and taught on this some and I've had women tell me I've never heard God speak to me.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: And I was like I think you probably have, you just didn't recognize it.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Because the Bible says in John 10 that Jesus is our good shepherd and the sheep know his voice.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: And so in those moments I try to invite them to think about a time, because I think sometimes people think, like you know, it's a burning bush moment, like if God speaks to you, you hear a thunderclap in the sky and an audible voice comes down and speaks to you and says something.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: And I've never had that.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: If I do, I'll be sure to tell you about it.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: But that's not what I'm talking about.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: It's just this gentle, soft, almost a knowing, not necessarily an audible voice at all.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: But if you're not sure if you can hear God's voice, you're not sure.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Well, what is God's voice versus the imposter's voice?
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, for one thing, god's voice is never full of shame and condemnation, because the Bible says there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: So if whatever inner voice you're hearing is critical and is trying to beat you up for all the things that you've done wrong in your life, that's not God, mm-hmm.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: So that's a pretty simple one.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Your life, that's not God.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: So that's a pretty simple one.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: But I try to encourage people to think in the past of a time where you felt the nearness of God, the kindness of God, or you saw God just really show up for you and it doesn't have to be a big way, it can be a very small way and just allow your mind and heart to remember and rehearse.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: There's so many times God commands us to remember who he is and what he's done and just allow that those memories of God's kindness to come into your mind.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: Remember how that felt, and that's kind of how it's, almost like tuning in radio, which I know this is going to date me and yes, I am of a generation where there used to be a dial that you would turn and you would hear static and then slowly it would become clearer and clearer and clearer and then, if you got to adjust the right God's voice, remembering and rehearsing those things in your mind are a great way to kind of get the knob tuned in to where you can really know who God is, and sometimes worship music helps you do that.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: But just a time of meditating on who God is, remembering what he's done for me, then allows my heart to be more open to say to God you know, what do you want to say to me?
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: And I think the easiest question to always start with, if you don't feel comfortable that you're hearing who God is, is you know, how do you love me?
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Because you know he does?
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: The answer is not going to be well, I don't.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: But God may bring a scripture to your mind, he may bring a memory of something to your mind.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: There are different ways that God can speak to us in those moments.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: And the other thing that always comes along if I'm hearing the voice of God, there's just this sense of peace, and it may just be almost like a thought flashes across my mind, not necessarily again a voice.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: I have never heard a audible voice of God in my life but as you just kind of know in your knowers, the only way I know how to describe it.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: But as you know, in your knower, I think this is where I'm supposed to be headed, or I think this is the direction God is leading me.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: There's just this subtle peace that comes with it me.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: There's just this settled peace that comes with it.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: And so even with younger kids, as I've tried to kind of help them to learn how to tune in, they're like you got to follow the peace, and so if you're making a decision and you don't have peace about it, then you don't move until you do.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: And so I think there's lots of ways that we can begin to picture who God is, remember his faithfulness, because it is just as in this story with mom.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: She was standing at the window rehearsing all the ways that people had not been there for her.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: And if you do that, then you're going to feel abandoned.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: And it's so easy to do, cause I mean, I remember doing that many a time where it's just like one bad thing happens.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Then all of a sudden, you know the Eeyore syndrome comes along and I'm rehearsing every way that everything has gone wrong and this has been the worst day ever, and you start listing off everything that's happened versus stopping and going.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: God woke me up this morning and I was able to get myself up out of bed and walk and clothe myself and feed myself, and I had the ability to leave my house and go do something.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: That's not something to take for granted, as there are people who cannot, and so learning to focus in on the where.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Where is God in my day?
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: A thousand times that I don't even know that he's there.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was thinking, elizabeth, as you were sharing, about the dial and the radio and the static.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: I was thinking even about like my cell phone today.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: So here's a little bit more modern example.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Thank you for bringing us into this entry.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: I live in a little bit of a dead zone for some of our wire, for some of our what do you call them Like?
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: For some of our Towers.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: Cell phone towers yeah that's what I was looking for.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: I live in a little bit of a dead zone for some of the towers for my cell service, and so a lot of times when I have to take a phone call I need to go outside into my backyard.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: And when I step into the backyard I actually have a different perspective.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: I have to do that.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: So it gets frustrating.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: At times I'm like, oh, I can't take the phone call to a walk outside, but my reception becomes clear on the phone so I can actually have the phone call and I'm in a different space.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: And so sometimes that's the thing about when you talk about the window, like just sometimes going to the like, looking at the window, we can stare at one thing or we can begin to change our focus a little bit, shift our focus and so starting to think, like in the book you use example of what part of God's creation reminds me of the kindness of God.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: The book you use example of what part of God's creation reminds me of the kindness of God.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean honestly, right now I'm looking out a window and I see lovely, um, lovely roses blooming and growing, and I see a squirrel climbing up the fence and, um, and it's a different perspective than if I turned my head and I look down at my computer and my desk and it just it.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: It allows me to look differently and to ask different questions and not be so internally focused, so to speak, to turn your gaze outward right.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: To turn your gaze upward.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: Um and so not just looking outside, but choosing to say, look at that playful squirrel out there.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: He's still on the fence, and God created that.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: There's delight and there's joy in that, and so sometimes it's just choosing to be at the window from a different perspective, right, like you were saying.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, and also remembering the truth of Zephaniah 317 that says God rejoices over us with singing.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: So sometimes I need to stop and just say, okay, God, what are you singing over me?
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: And allow my heart and my mind to get quiet enough.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: And again, I've never heard an actual God singing a song, but oftentimes, when I ask that question, there is a worship song or a Christian song, Sometimes it's even a secular song that will start playing in my head and it's reminding me of God's love for me and how much he cares for me.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: So I think God is far more willing to be a part of our lives than what we're asking for, and I think that's why he keeps going back to come and keep on coming like abide with me, fight to get into my rest, Because really there's so much I can feel responsible for in a day and there's, I mean, you think, of not only my life, but ministry and my husband and my kids, and you know I mean all of us have them.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: There's a list a mile long of issues going on with people that we love, and it can get overwhelming, and so I can try to hurry and scurry and try to problem solve everybody's issues in all of their lives, or I can fight to get into the rest of who God is and just sit in the center of his belovedness, knowing that he is good and he is kind, not only to me but to everyone I love, and he's got them and he's got them and I don't have to carry it all.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: And that is so refreshing but also very hard to do because I think my own desire for control I'll just be honest I mean, some of it is the enemy, but a lot of it is just me feeling like I need to figure it out and I need to fix it.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: And so what our focus is?
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: To be, like you said, Kimberly, a different perspective that we would focus on abiding in God, resting in His arms, allowing the closeness of our relationship with Him to come in, speak to those wounded places Some of them, like even yours, Kimberly, with a colic you weren't even fully aware that that was an issue at some point in your life and so allowing Him to come in and speak to those issues in our lives and then not to be surprised if, on a random Tuesday morning, all of a sudden, we're having to battle it again Because there's a I don't I cannot remember who says it, but I've heard mom quote it many a time when she's talking about spiritual warfare.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: She says where the where the line is drawn, the battle will begin.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: And so if we choose that we are going to, the line that we're drawing is, I'm going to choose to live in the beloved and as the beloved of God.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: That is where the enemy is going to try to come and say oh yeah, let me see how much I can thwart this in your heart.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: Let me see how much I can thwart this in your heart, Cause he, he knows, he is fully aware of how important and powerful it is to just come and keep on coming back to God's love and live a life full of of his love.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: Yep, and that's the invitation, the invitation he gives us.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: And so, as we close out today, we pray that you will be blessed, as you hear our friend and board member Richard reading the blessing of your belovedness.
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: Blessing of your belovedness.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: You are your beloved's and he is yours.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: He called you his beloved from eternity.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: Your father was pleased to make you his own.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: The voice of your loving father resonates in you in a deep place.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: He is blessing you every day with himself, nothing less.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: He is there for you.
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: Your Father wants you to know His deep bonds with you, his deep attachment to you with cords of never-ending love.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: Hear Him speak to you about trust, faith and love that is much deeper than the mindset of survival.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: Listen to Him say that the Belo beloved of the lord rests secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the lord loves rests between his shoulders.
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: He is holding you close to himself.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: He is whispering to you I care for you, I know every detail about you and wherever you go, I go with you.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: Wherever you rest, I keep watch.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: I give you food that will satisfy all your hunger and I quench all your thirst.
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: I will never hide my face from you.
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: Nothing will ever separate us.
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: Wherever you are, I am Taste deeply of love of God and of truth.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: Hear Him speak to you about your deepest yearnings, your wishes, your hopes and your dreams.
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: Know the treasure you are to your Father, you are a chosen one, a special person noticed in your uniqueness, eternally valued.
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: You are priceless and irreplaceable, safe in His everlasting embrace, at rest in His.
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: I want to thank you for listening to the Father's Business Podcast.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: This podcast is made possible through donations by people like you.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: To donate, go to wwwTheFathersBusinesscom.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: Be sure to follow us at the Fathers Biz on Instagram and Facebook.