Latest / INSPIRE STORY / #0203_ The Many Taints of Newark — Politics, Crime, Chaos & Dark Humor

Transcript

#0203_ The Many Taints of Newark — Politics, Crime, Chaos & Dark Humor · INSPIRE STORY

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Excited
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: to be with you. A lot is happening and not happening,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: as always. I saw The Many Saints of Newark. Have
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: you seen that movie yet?
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen it yet.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: This is weird. And I don't want to talk about
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: this because I don't want people to get the wrong idea.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I know that a lot of people are... Obviously, I
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: love Joey Diaz, who's in the movie. And I love
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: a lot of... the people that are in the movie, right?
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, The Sopranos is an epic show. I don't...
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: It's weird the direction they took, to me. I think
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: it's odd. It's strange to me to do a prequel
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: where a huge element of the character that was not
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: at all in the show is brought out. That's weird
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: to me. The prequel to the many states of Newark
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: is about how Tony Soprano like got into the mafia
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: and the entire movie. I don't know if you know this,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: but is literally, and this is a little fucking why
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: he was smiling. The entire movie is Tony getting into
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: the mafia because he's gay and he's trying to hide
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: his sexuality and from other people, and he feels the
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: most effective way to do that. And there are sex
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: scenes where Tony Soprano is having sex with men in
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: this movie as the receptive partner. He's taking it in
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: the movie. And people were shocked at this. The whole
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: crux of the movie is that Tony's in an interracial
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: relationship in Newark with a man. This is odd to
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: me because in The Sopranos, there was never a thought that, listen,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I'm a gay guy. I think gay cinema is great.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: But there was never a thought that Tony was gay.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: So to me, to make his character gay and give
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: him this story arc of having a love interest is very,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: very strange. And even if you did all of that,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: The visceral nature of a lot of these sex scenes.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's really aggressive. It's aggressive. But this is
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: what Hollywood has decided to do. And I'm emailing you right...
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: There's a scene... Because you know that I was asked
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: to audition for this. Oh, you did? I was asked
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: to audition for this. So I got the script. And...
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: There is a scene that me and you are going
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: to read from The Many Saints of Newark.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: And I, again, I worry, I worry that, you know, again,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I don't want to offend anyone that really enjoyed the picture,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: but I think that it's worth stating how different this
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: is than most of what we've come to expect from
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: the David Chase movie. And The Sopranos.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Do you have it?
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Did you get it?
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I'm refreshing. There it goes.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, so this is a scene from The Many Saints
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: of Newark. And again, I'm... So here, don't read it.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Read it as you do it. That's what a real
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: actor does. Okay?
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, who am I?
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: You're African American man. Now, I want you to start...
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I want you to start... Describe the scene up top.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Okay, you want me to be the narrator?
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Yes. Okay.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: Tony, a young, sexually confused man, explores gender and sexuality
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: with older men in the mafia.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: This is weird, right? I mean, let's be honest. Is
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: this not weird? This is not what I thought the
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: movie was going to be about. And listen, I don't
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: do a good Tony Soprano impression. That's not what I'm
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: trying to do here. What I'm trying to do is
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: act and breathe life into the scene. Okay, so let's start.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: Tony is sitting on a bench by the basketball court.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: He notices a young African-American man playing basketball shirtless. Tony
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: is shy at first, but brings to speak to him.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't know why that was written like that. Hey,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: what are you doing?
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm African-American, right?
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: You're the man. Now, Tony's at a basketball court. Yeah, yeah.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: He's watching an African-American man play basketball shirtless. And Tony
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: is sitting there. And I think in the movie he's
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: eating an ice cream cone seductively. But that was added later. Again,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: this is the many saints of Newark. This is true.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: I'm only laughing because I'm stunned. Then they went in
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: this direction. Okay. Tony is shy at first, but speaks
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: to him. Hey, what are you doing?
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I'm playing ball. What are you doing? Watching you like
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: what you see?
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Hey, what you're doing right now with the black hands
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: and stuff? It's not necessary. Okay. You know what I mean? Okay.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Do you know what you just did? You're like, I'm
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: playing ball. Black people don't talk like that. Okay. Do
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: you see what you did when you were going like this?
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: It was like the 70s. I'm trying to think of
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: how they'd play it.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's like, it's groovy. I think you just, really
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: just respect the work. Okay. Okay. I don't think we
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: need to start doing a dance. Okay. Okay. Hey, what
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: are you doing?
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: I'm playing ball. What are you doing? Watching you like
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: what you see?
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Okay. It's, I'm playing ball. What are you doing? Watching?
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: You like what you see? Watching?
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: You like what you see?
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Maybe I do. Maybe I do. Let me ask you something.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Do yous have bigger dicks than us? You know, like,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: that's what people say.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Only one way to find out.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: You guys must have real brajoles over there, where you
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: come from. I'm Italian. I'm in the mafia. Or at
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: least I will be. But I can't tell anyone that I'm,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: you know, into men.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: I know what that's like.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: You do?
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: My pastor says that gay people go to hell. He
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: calls them $ 3 bills.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Your church, that's where they do the screaming and everything. Hey,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: you think anyone is there right now? Maybe we could
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: go over there.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: You want to see my church?
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I want to see you. Tony pulls a man close
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: to him and they begin making out. Tony is grabbing
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: his crotch. The man seems uncomfortable with all the people around.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Not here. We can have sex in my church.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: So this is crazy to me. Then they go have
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: sex in a church where Tony is getting it in
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: the ass. And it's crazy.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: So is there like a gospel choir and everything, but
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: they're in the back?
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: No, it's an empty church.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: And he's just like pounding Tony. And then Tony says,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I want you. This is a
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: quote for the movie. Tony goes, I don't know if
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I want you to explode in me, but I also
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: want to taste you. And then the guy goes, well,
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: have you heard of felching? And Tony goes, no, what's that?
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: And the guy goes, that's where I would come inside
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: of you and then suck it out with a straw
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: or something and then spit it back in your mouth.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: All I'm saying is this is very surprising to me.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Again, go see the film, make
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: your own decisions. It's very surprising that they went in
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: this direction. Personally. You know? I mean, the whole thing.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: When we meet Carmella, like, it's crazy. Because he's, like,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: having sex with guys. It's weird. Anyway. That's just putting it.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: That's just my two cents. I don't want to make
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: anyone mad.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: No, and Joey Diaz is in this. I heard it's good.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: James Damore got mad at me. That guy, you know
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: that guy from Google?
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: He's kind of, has Marfan syndrome, I think. He's like,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: he's really like, I don't know, he's like very lanky.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: And he's autistic. He says he's autistic. He says that
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: he sees the world differently. He got angry with me
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: because I criticized his digital art. And this is the
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: guy that wrote the memo at Google. He wrote a
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: memo where he was basically like, I think women should
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: have bags around their heads and get taken out into
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: the parking lot. And he said that there's, you know, whatever.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: So he made this AI art. It's very bad. So
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I just wrote, these are all bad. I quote tweeted it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: And then he used that thing of me where I
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: have sunburn, and he goes, AI is a matter of inputs.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Like for this foul one, all I put was gay
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Chris Farley. And I have a horrible sunburn. I never
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: should have put that photo out. But sometimes you've got
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: to put a photo out where you look the worst
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: so that it can always be the photo people use.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: But again, that photo still makes more sense than his
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: kind of deeply satanic, very strange AI art that he did.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: It's like odd. It's like demons and hell. And so
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know what the inputs he put in, but again,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: people get very sensitive. All these, a lot of these
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: tech pros, which weird, they're like kind of like goth
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: theater blanks. And I don't know what, even though they're
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: like tech bros, they're like, I don't, you know what
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I mean? They're like weird nerd. And again, they got,
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: he was angry at me. And I defended him when
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: he wrote that memo saying that women wanted to get
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: bags over their heads and take it out into the
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: parking lot at Google. So I don't understand what's the problem.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: But he's very sensitive. These people are very sensitive.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: And he lives in Austin. so we know he's one
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: of the worst people in the world. But we still
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: support him. And we don't think it's fair that he
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: was fired from Google for saying that women like to
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: have garbage bags put over them and then put in
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: a van. Um, he got angry with me. The people
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: don't like objective reality anymore. When you say like, like
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: the way he says, like men and women have different,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: they have different aptitudes. It's also like, some things are bad.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: That AI is art is bad.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: It's bad.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: That little Nas X version of Jolene is bad. It's
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: not good. He's speaking. He's going, Jolene. And of course,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Dolly Parton got a tweet like, I just am honored
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: and I love him and blah, blah, blah. Because you
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: can't be honest because the appeal of Lil Nas X
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: is in the package. It's in, there's a good looking
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: black gay guy and he has, you know, there's a
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: flair about him. He knows what he's doing, but the
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: actual vocals are not good. And for anyone to pretend
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: they're good, And then the Old Town Road song was
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: kind of a troll that became huge.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: And he's smart. And he knows what to do. He says, look,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: I'm fucking Satan this week, and next week I'm pregnant.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: But that's replacing the music. Right. See, people should realize that.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: That's not in addition to the music. Like, Lady Gaga's talented,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: and then she does a lot of that stuff in
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: addition to the music. This is completely... Like, instead of
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: the music, we're going to do this. I'm going to,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: you know, take a photo of myself or have a
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: CGI photo of myself made where I have a baby.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: And this is like, you know, but again, to say
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: like this isn't good, people get very angry or to
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: point out the AI art and go, hey, man, this
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: is not good. It's objectively terrible. I'm sure you're a
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: lovely person, but this art is very, very bad. And
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: why are you why do you care? You just put
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: inputs into a computer and then it made it. Why
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: do you give a shit? Maybe I'm insulting the AI.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: It may not be you. But, you know, people don't
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: like the truth. It's unfortunate. You know, it's like a
• 12:10
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• 12:11
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  Speaker 1: and conditions may apply. This is something funny that you
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: showed me from the show, what is it called, The
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: United States of Al?
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: That's correct, yeah.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: This show, United States of Al, rewrites season two, premiere,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: to offer powerful moving reaction to situation in Afghanistan. By
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: the way, the title of that article tells you everything
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: you want to know, and immediately you know it was
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: the wrong move. Rewrites season two premiere to offer powerful
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: moving reaction to situation in Afghanistan. Is this guy Afghani?
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: He's Indian and he's from South Africa.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: She's nothing to do with Afghanistan.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's playing an Afghani interpreter in the show.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: So he was always an Afghani interpreter in the United
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: States of Al?
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: He was always, well, I guess.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: And his best friend is a Marine who fought in
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: Afghanistan and now they're here and they're, you know.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, well, then I guess they have to do something.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: But he's not Afghani in real life.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: Understood. But I mean, in the show, he's an Afghani interpreter.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: I believe so, yeah.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: And his friend's a Marine. You wonder if the writers
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: got a tip that this was going to happen. Do
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: you think the United States of Al knew before the
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: State Department that the Taliban was about to take over?
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Because it does feel like the United States of Al
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: now did have to... Like, I do feel they were
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: in the unenviable position of having to address this.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: It feels that way.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: It feels like they had... I had no idea he
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: was an Afghani interpreter. What show is this? Like, why
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: would this be a show? And so the United States
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: of Al is about apparently an Afghani interpreter. Mm-hmm. and
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: his Marine best friend.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: That are what? Buds?
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: They're like buddies, yeah.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: They're buddies. And they live together?
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: In the same town?
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Here it is.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: A Marine combat veteran struggling to readjust to civilian life
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: in Ohio.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: And then Awal Mir, a.k.a.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: Al, the interpreter who served with his unit in Afghanistan,
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: has just arrived to start a new life in America.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: So it's just their friendship.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: So it's an Afghani interpreter and a Marine. They come
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: back to the U.S. Hilarity ensues. Now, the United States
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: of Al, of course, they have to do something. They
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: can't ignore it. They have to do something. I'm sympathetic
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: to this more than I thought I would be. It
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: does seem to be the... Also, don't make a very
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: bad show like this in the first place. It's such
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: a bad show. It's a Marine and an Afghani interpreter
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: having beers like the Afghanistan war was worth it. That's
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: what the premise of the show is.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Because it brought them together.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: It's a brotherhood. So what if a lot of people
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: are dead? Doesn't matter. That's the premise of the show.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: This is what Hollywood likes to do. They like to
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: make things where they go. It's kind of a wash,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: isn't it? I mean, Al and his buddy would have
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: never been brought together if we didn't have the Afghanistan war.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: So it's an odd way to market a program, but
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: they love this shit. Oh, yeah. This is how they
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: kind of smooth over all these mistakes. And by mistakes,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I don't mean mistakes. I mean, like, you know, the
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: bloodlust empire. I mean, to call it a mistake, you know,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: mistake is like, where's the car keys? Not like, oh,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: we're going to Afghanistan to pay off pedophiles. and steal
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: lithium ion. That's not really a mistake. But the way
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: at the end of all that to kind of make
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: it like, hey, sorry, they do these cutesy little shows
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: where people become friends with each other from this 20
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: year long war that killed people for absolutely no reason.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: But the United States of Al. And so this is
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: the scene where Al, I guess, realizes that the Taliban.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: This is the promo for the upcoming episode. It's the
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: big Afghanistan episode.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: It's the big one. Yeah, yeah. This is the one
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: because the fans of the United States of Al, I
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: don't know who they are. I imagine they're older white
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: people with dementia is not... It's setting in. It hasn't
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: fully ravaged their brain, but it's setting in. And they're like,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: we like the United States of Al. and it's all
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: cause that CBS is crowd. They're old people. They're elderly
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: people that watch the United States of Al and it
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: explains to them why we went to war in Afghanistan. Uh,
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: through the TV. And they sit there and they let
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: mashed potatoes dribble out of their mouths while they stare
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: at this. So now let's play this for everyone. This
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: is the Afghanistan episode from the United States of Al. Riley.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Is it confirmed? The Taliban took Herat. Kabul might be next.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Al's family's there. We're at the airport. Although there's so
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: many people, I don't.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: Think I can do this.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Stop this for a minute. This is... So Al's family
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: is still in Afghanistan. He's at during this scene. Do
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: you like, do you quit when they ask you to
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: do this? When they say, do you mind taking out
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: a phone? And then you're going to on speakerphone, pretend
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: you're talking to someone desperately trying to get out of Afghanistan.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Like at this point, do you think of choosing another career?
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: there's always got to be a moment in your career.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Like I have it all the, every day, every minute,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: but you got to imagine that when you're doing this,
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: it's so offensive on so many levels. And it's, first
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: of all, When painful things happen, of course, one tries
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: to make them into art forever, right? But this is, like, immediately,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: this is happening. And it's also happening in the most
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: grotesque way imaginable. Like, we're rewriting the season premiere so
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: that we can deliver a powerful, moving message from our
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: sitcom on CBS. Play the rest of this, but it's crazy...
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: It's crazy. They're doing a scene where I guess his
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: family member going, I don't know if I can do this.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: And Al is trying to talk them through it. Play
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: it from the beginning again, please. And I won't interrupt. Riley.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Is it confirmed? The Taliban took Herat. Kabul might be next.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Al's family's there. We're at the airport. Although there's so
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: many people.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: I don't think I can do this.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Listen to me.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: I am right there with you.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: But he's not. But hold on. But Al is in America.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Now, could, does CBS include any of the perspective of
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: the Taliban in this? Like, does the Taliban get to
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: have any say at all Or is this just some
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: type of propaganda vehicle for the US? Because I think
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: the Taliban have something to say as well, that I
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: would like to see their opinion in a CBS sitcom
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: as well. If we could fictionalize the Taliban and what
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: they want out of this whole thing. Well, when is
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: it on? When can you watch The United States of Owl?
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: I think it's coming out sometime this week. It says
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: the premiere's dropping really soon.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Because I really want to see this.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Well, it's exciting.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: And the Indian actors seem to have locked his account
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: upon the release of this promo.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Well, it's not the actors' fault. They're saying the words that...
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: They were written on the page.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: I think people are mad that he's Indian, though, and
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: he's doing an Afghani accent.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: In the whole thing. They're not even mad at the
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: right things. What they should be mad at is that, A,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: the show exists. Right. B, CBS exists. They're not even
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: mad at the, you know, they should, I like that.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: The Taliban just took Iraq. Kabul could be next. Al
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: has family there.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: Here's a real synopsis of an episode that came out
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: this year al greets riley's daughter hazel and introduces himself
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: as her godfather on a video call with his mother
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: al is berated for wearing shorts as it against his
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: religion as a muslim to do the following day alan
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: riley go the dmv where al becomes nervous after seeing
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: that his female driving instructor paula is also wearing shorts
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: and as a result fails his driving test wanting to
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: adjust to american social norms al talks with riley art
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: and an offended lizzie to sort things out deciding to
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: to avoid forcing his religious double standards on other people
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: In his following visits to the DMV with Paula as
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: his driving instructor, Al overcomes his issues by acknowledging both
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: Paula and himself are wearing shorts, only to become nervous
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: once again after stopping at a traffic light next to
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: a charity car wash with bikini-clad women.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Hmm, okay.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Why are we doing this? Why do we need to
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: do this? Why are we trying to do this? I'm
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: very curious as to why CBS is doing this. Like,
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: this is a guy who's going to have to, like,
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: some of his beliefs and views seem a little antiquated.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: And CBS is now trying to figure out, like, funny
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: situations to put him in. I mean, who's this for?
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: I guess this is for young Muslims that love CBS.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: I suppose so.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Is that what it's about? That are also wrestling with
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: some of these ideas? And they need to... Al goes
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: to a party with Nelk and gets nervous when the
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: women start taking jello shots in their pussy. He doesn't
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: know what to do. He doesn't know how to square
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: this with his Muslim faith. Drinking tequila out of a
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: woman's belly button really tests his religion. Next week on
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: the United States of Al. It's the worst show in
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: the world other than La Brea. Have you seen this thing,
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: La Brea?
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: No, no.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: It's a show where the, I think there's a sinkhole,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: and then people, read the description of this.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: A massive sinkhole opens up in the middle of L.A.,
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: separating a family between two worlds. The mother and son
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: fall into an unexplainable primeval land alongside a group of
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: strangers trying to figure out where they are and how
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: to get back home. Left above is a daughter who
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: barely manages to survive the disaster and the father whose
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: troubled past and hallucinations make him an unlikely choice to
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: help solve the mystery and reunite the family.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: What?
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: But when he realizes his visions might just be the
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: key to finding their loved ones, time will be the
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: only thing that stands in their way.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: This show is about a hole that opened up and
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: people fell into it into a world with dinosaurs. This
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: is the biggest show on TV right now. And I
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: know a kid in it who's like a nice kid,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: but I do think it has to be canceled and
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: he has to be homeless. Because this is truly a horrible,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: horrible thing.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: So this is the biggest show and Squid Game, the
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: show on Netflix.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Perhaps. I don't know anything about Squid Game. But all
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: I know is that La Brea is about people falling
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: in a hole and landing in the land before time.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: And they're like running around fighting like big prehistoric animals.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, look at... Look at the La Brea. I mean,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: is there anything stupider than this? Who is working? Like,
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: they don't know what to do anymore. So they're just like, yeah, whatever, man.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Let's just, yeah, it's a hole that opens up and
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: everybody falls into it and they fight dinosaurs. And the
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: dad is hallucinations and they unlock the key to the mystery.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: What's the key to the mystery? We don't know. We'll
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: figure it out in season four. Leave us alone. It's embarrassing.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: And Salt Bae is losing his mind, suggesting that he's
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: becoming an inspiration to millions of children. Salt Bae is
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: now saying, this is his quote, now everybody wants to
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: be a butcher because of me. Now if you ask
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: a kid, they want to be Salt Bae. They see
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: me as an idol. I'm an inspiration to a lot
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: of people in a very short period of time. Salt Bae,
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: let me correct you. You're an inspiration to absolutely no one.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: No child wants to be you. I've never been to
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: salt-based restaurants.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: He had one viral video where he was salting meat.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: That was it.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Well, we know that. But have you ever been to
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: his restaurant? Well, it's these restaurants where I guess on
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: a good day he walks around from table to table
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: and he has like a big sword. This is true.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: And then he just lobs women's clits off with his sword.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, this is crazy, but people like it. People
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: love it. He lobs clits of women off and he
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: performs clitorectomies of women eating in the restaurant and people
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: like it. And then he salts the clit. I just personally,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: I think it's a little backwards, but people like it.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: Imagine eating in a Salt Bae restaurant, like unironically, going
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: there and going like, I'm excited for this. I'm excited.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: The eye-popping prices of Salt Bae's new London restaurant include
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: an $ 850 steak and a $ 15 Red Bull. Well, here's
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: the deal. I am a fan of raising the prices
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: of food till it becomes comical. I do like that.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: There's something that's very funny about raising the prices of
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: food so that they become so ridiculous and insane. I
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: remember when steaks used to be like in the high 30s.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: Then they were in the mid 40s for a while. Now,
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: then they were in the 50s. Now, like, they're $ 80,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: $ 72 for a steak. Some of them are well north
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: of $ 100, depending on the cut that you get, depending
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: if it's Wagyu or not Wagyu. You know, like, it's crazy,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: but this is what they want. Like, if you're an
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: idiot and you're dumb enough to go to Salt Bae's restaurant,
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: you should pay thousands of dollars for that. The stakes
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: should be $ 2, 000 because you're already dumb enough to go. Right.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: Like that's the marketing meeting. Like when they talk to
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Salt Bae, they go, listen, these people are already stupid
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: enough to walk in the door of this restaurant. You've
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: proved absolutely nothing about your ability to do anything other
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: than like let salt trickle down your fucking forearm onto
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: a piece of meat. So the fact that people are
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: going to this means they're idiots and idiots and they're
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: rich enough and they'll pay any amount of money. So
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: let's just start charging $ 850. for a steak. And why not?
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: Why not? I'm for this in a big way. Somebody tweeted,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: it's cheaper to fly and have food at Salt Bae's
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: Turkish restaurant than to go to the London one. Yeah,
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: the London one's very expensive. I love when you... Now,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: by the way, somebody said that Salt Bae, and I
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: don't know if this is true, is a very popular
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Halloween costume. Is this, could this possibly be true?
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: Let's see here.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: I mean, let me hit news to see if it's like,
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not seeing anybody write anything about it.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Supposedly, Salt Bae's, hey, I was, I'm an inspiration to
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: children all over the world has something to do with
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: the fact that people are dressing up as him First
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: of all, kids don't want to be restaurateurs. They want
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: to be like firemen. They want to be like garbage men.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: They like things with trucks. Little girls want to be
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: like princesses. And I'm not saying this is always the case.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: I don't want to reinforce the gender binary. But a
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: lot of people, children don't want to, they're not like
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: thinking clearly. You know what I mean? Like what kind
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: of children are an inspiration? Imagine if you asked your
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: son or daughter, like, what do you want to be?
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: And they go, well, you know what I really like?
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: This guy's salt bae. He doesn't really do anything. And
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: everybody goes to his restaurants. They spend $ 900 on steak.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: So I wish I could be like him. Cause it's
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: really spectacle. Like your three-year-old tells you this.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: They'd be terrified.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. If your three-year-old just looks at you and go,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: the world is primarily spectacle. Salt bae really exemplifies this.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: Wouldn't you say? You go, what? Kids want to be
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: like Spider-Man when they grow up. They don't want to
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: be some freak. This is a guy, by the way,
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: you know how Mario Batali, it came out that Mario
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: Batali had a rape room? Yes. What do you think
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: is going to come out about Salt Bae eventually? It's
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: going to come out that Salt Bae was like a
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: cannibal who liked carving women up and eating them. Where
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: does he come from, Salt Bae?
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Turkey.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Interesting. Salt Bae. Well, we wish him the best. He's a...
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: He's a figure that... Yeah, I mean.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Turkish chef.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he has the power of Instagram. Good for him.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Good for him. He made a lot of money. All
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: you need is one viral video on Instagram that gets
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: people going. Truly. All you need is one viral video
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: on Instagram. Just one. And you can hawk your products
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: to morons who want to feel something before the end.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: And that's what his restaurant's about. People in his restaurant,
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: they're just like this with the phone. Look, look where
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: we are. Look, it's so bad. People really have so
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: little going on in their life that it's exciting to them.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: Speaking of products, boy, do we have a lot of them.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Where are they? Where are the ads? Wake up. Thank you.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: Where are these advertisements? We only advertise products on this
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: show that I have a personal love for and relationship with.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: I would never in my life, and many of you
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: know this about me, all the things that I've been
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: involved with, subprime mortgages, office supplies, I have the highest
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: standards of integrity. No one's standards of integrity are higher
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: than mine when it comes to product placement, And branding.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: And so every product here is something that I am
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: intimately acquainted with. I've used. I love. What is this?
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: This is BetterHelp.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, I cannot say enough about BetterHelp because people
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: need help. And the help that they're getting is what?
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Over the phone. On the computer.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: No, it's not. No, it's not.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: What kind of help are we talking about?
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: Well, they're getting subpar help.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, right. Yes.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: If they're not using BetterHelp. That's for sure.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Right. See how dumb he is? He doesn't follow anything.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: BetterHelp is a helpline, but it's not a helpline. It's
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: real therapists that have been recruited to help you deal
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: with your problems online. It's not like self-help. It's not
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: a crisis line. These are intelligent people that want to
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: help you. They're compassionate, intelligent, Better H-E-L-P. There's over a
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: million people that have taken charge of their mental health
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: with the help of an experienced professional. In fact, so
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: many people have been using BetterHelp. They've got to recruit
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: additional counselors in every one of the 50 states. You
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: can log into your account anytime and send a message
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: to your counselor. You'll get timely and thoughtful responses. Plus,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions. And you
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: won't ever have to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: as with traditional therapy. Go to betterhelp.com slash reviews, and
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: you can read about all their reviews. But if you
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: go to betterhelp.com slash Tim D, well, now we're talking.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Because what? Then you're going to get, what do you get?
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: That's Better H-E-L-P, and you join over the million people
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: who have taken charge of their mental health.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: Better H-E-L-P, and Tim Dillon Show listeners get 10% off
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: their first month? Are you kidding me?
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: That's pretty good.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's disgusting how much you people get. Better H-E-L-P,
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: Tim D. You get 10% off your first month at,
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: do you know, and I've told you this. I had
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: a therapist once. And a lot of them aren't good.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: But the people that use this seem to be very
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: happy with it. And that's beautiful to me. It's absolutely beautiful.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: Because I feel that if I had a better therapist,
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: I would have more joy.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: That's definitely true. 100%.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah. The podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and Tindall and
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Cho listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: slash timd. I love cereal. It's one of my favorite things.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: But sometimes I say to myself, Jesus fucking Christ, it's
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: fucking sugar-filled. I'm going to kill myself. And everyone I know,
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: I'm such a sugar pig. Oh, man, I love licking
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: that sugar. It's just like sex. You feel it all
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: down your throat, that thick sugar. Fuck. I want sugar
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: in my fucking face. I look and I feel, when
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: I eat sugar, I feel happy but then sad. And
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: I sleep sometimes. I pull into a parking lot and
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: I sleep in the backseat of my car. And I
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: go to sleep. And if someone wakes me up, I say,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: fuck you. Fuck you. And I just start screaming and
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: they go, I just want to make sure you're okay.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, fuck you. Because I've had sugar. Sugar
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: is very bad. The happiest people I know don't eat sugar.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: They just eat bone marrow. They're happier. Sugar is bad,
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: and it's October. It is so hard to not eat
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: sugar in October. Candy and Halloween and pumpkin muffins and
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: apple tartlets and pecan fucking pie. And you just lose
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: your mind with the sugar. I mean, you just... I mean,
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: the other day, I was eating a pumpkin... I was
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: eating a pumpkin scone, you know, a hard one.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: And I was gnawing on it. And someone came up
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: to me and they said, does that have sugar in it?
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: And I said, you stupid fuck. Of course it does.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: And they go, are there any sugar-free scones? And you
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: know what I did? I beat the living shit out
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: of them. And it was a diabetic on dialysis who
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: was very weak, but I attacked them. And they were older.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: And every time you hit them, you could see their
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: blood clotting in real time. They had those. They were
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: like very frail in their skin. And I just started
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: wailing on them, throwing haymakers. And you saw this blood
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: all over their body. And their eyes were like sunken
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: in to their head like a demon. And they were
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: just like, I just want a sugar-free. And I say,
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: no sugar-free. None. But then I remembered that I should
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: have told them about Magic Spoon cereal. Because in all actuality,
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: Magic Spoon is sugar-free. And that's what makes it good.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: So if you go to magicspoon.com slash Tim Dillon, get
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: a custom bundle of cereal and try it today and
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: be sure to use our promo code TIMDILLON. They use
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: high-quality sweeteners like monk fruit. There's 0 grams of sugar,
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: 13 to 14 grams of protein, 4 net carbs in
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: each serving. Only 140 calories a serving. It's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carb.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you right now, I think I killed that person.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure. But I wish I had told them
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: about Magic Spoon. instead of physically assaulting them because they
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: were elderly and very sick. And that's where I sometimes
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: regret my actions.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: I feel like you wouldn't have done that if you
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: had known that they just brought back two super popular flavors.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: Which ones did they bring back?
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: Cookies and Cream and Maple Waffle permanently.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you this. It could have gone one
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: of two ways because if I knew that, I would
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: have either, A, not done it at all, or would
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: have been so excited I would have slit their throat.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know which way it would have gone if
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: I knew that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know? That's
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: the difficult thing. Magicspoon.com slash Tim Dillon to grab a
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: custom bundle of cereal. Try today. Buy the Magic Spoon, folks.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: You need to do it. Everyone I know that's using
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: Magic Spoon is a beautiful person inside and out. Magicspoon.com
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: slash Tim Dillon. Use the promo code Tim Dillon. $ 5 off.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: You get $ 5 off. So we're excited about The Many
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: Saints of Newark, and we hope it's good. We know
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: several people that will really kill themselves if it's not good.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: They're seeing it the first day it comes out. People
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: get really excited about these things. That's a big part
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: of their life. Like, I was in New York with people,
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: and they went, this is where they film The Sopranos. Like,
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: that's the entire way they interface with the world is
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: a show. And I love The Sopranos. I think it's
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: probably the greatest show ever made, but I haven't, you know,
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: rewatched it 17 times. And I'm not going to see,
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: you know, I didn't buy my tickets six months ago
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: to see The Many Saints. You knew it for the
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: first day. But I understand that people do. It's like
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: that Irishman movie where people were really overly invested. You know,
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: it's enough already. To me, I think it's enough already.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: I think it's overkill. I haven't even seen the movie.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to go out and just say already, like,
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't need the prequel to Tony Soprano's life. I
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: just didn't care. It didn't mean anything to me. I
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: thought it was a brilliant piece of art. We don't
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: need to make more of it than what it was, right?
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: It's not a philosophy of life, I don't think, or
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: it shouldn't be. I don't think we need that. I
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: think we need to just enjoy it for what it is,
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: which is great art, and then move away, step away.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: We don't need to get to Sopranos cookbook. We don't
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: need to, you know, talk about Feech Lamana. We don't
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: need to do any of that. We don't need to
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: start going through the episodes that have changed our lives.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: I think we just really need to move on. But again, it's,
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: you know, people are putting a little too much into it,
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: in my opinion. But I could be wrong. Maybe it's
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: the greatest film that's ever been made. James Gandolfini's son
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: is in it. Why? I don't know. And Philip Seymour
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: Hoffman's son is now in things?
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: Licorice pizza with Paul Thomas Anderson. Why?
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: Why are we putting it? They're fucking the children. Why
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: in God's name? It makes me hate the legends that died.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: We're giving their kids. Aren't these people the same people
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: that talk about how unfair everything is and inequality and
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: they're always voting for Democrats because they're going to fix
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: the inequality and and there's so many concentrations of wealth,
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: and all they do is fucking give dead people's kids
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: jobs that are already rich? Christ almighty, enough! They're already
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: fucking rich! He's not a genius! Philip Seymour Hoffman's son's
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: not a genius! His name is fucking Cooper! He's clearly
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: not a genius! Genius skips many generations, okay? Like all
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: of them. God forbid we get an actor who's been
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: in fucking the grind for years, sleeping on a fucking floor,
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: trying to get this job, who may be the next
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Philip Seymour Hoffman. Maybe let's do that. Okay, what do
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: you- how do you cast things now? Ancestry.com? This is absurd!
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: It's stupid and disgusting! All the things you people portend
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: to care about, you don't! It's just a cheap fucking
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: trick to get people out to the fucking movies. Well,
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: how about make a good fucking movie instead of using
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: these cheap fucking tricks? Okay? I have no beef with
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: Gandolfini's son, and I have no beef with Cooper Hoffman
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: or whatever, but Jesus Christ already, why are we doing this?
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: They're not the best candidates. It's absolutely impossible that they're
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: the best candidates for the job. There's no fucking way.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: They're gonna keep doing this. They're just gonna keep giving
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: roles to children whose parents are legends who've died. Here's
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: what I love about stand-up comedy. I won't mention names.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: There are legends whose children do stand-up comedy. No one
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: cares about them. And that's so important because it is
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: kind of a little bit of a meritocracy. It's true.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: Isn't it?
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: Isn't it? I mean, so what's going on? And I've
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: had enough with Paul Thomas Anderson, too, you freak. Wait. No,
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: he's the genius. Who have I had enough with? Moonrise Kingdom.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, Wes Anderson?
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: I've had enough with him. I've just had enough with him.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: And I like a lot of what he's done. Paul
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: Thomas Anderson, I like a lot. I know that's your
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: favorite director.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's great.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: He is great. Wes Anderson, I've had enough with. He's
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: put Chalamet in the new one.
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm kind of sick of it.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Chalamet, stop ruining everything you do.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: He really is, man.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: He's ruining everything.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: This is the new one.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: It's like, you know, it's Bill Murray, Francis McDormand, the
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: whole thing, but then Timothy is kind of the star
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: of this one.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, God.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: Get me out of here, please. This life is.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: It's called The French Dispatch.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: Here it is.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: Of course it is.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: Look at his face.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: That's good. It's called one... You know what I call that?
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: One black actor. That's what I call it. I don't
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: call it The French Dispatch. I call it more of
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: the same. It's free, you know? Go, go... I want
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: Christopher Guest to cast a movie with Fred Willard's son.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: And this is Hollywood. Everybody's like, no, it's concentrations of
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: wealth and family money. Listen, Wes Anderson's great, and maybe
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: this movie will be good. I'm a little sick of Chalamet.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: I'm just sick of it. Can't we have something else?
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Can we have something else other than this twink who
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: doesn't age? This pixie who does not age that must
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: prance through every fucking movie that's ever been made. Is
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: there anything else? That's all. Is there anyone else that
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: can do this job, please? And not Hansel and Gretel Elgort.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: Not him either. Can we get someone else, please?
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: Someone else.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: Other than Timothee Chalamet. What about Cooper Hoffman? What does
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: Cooper Hoffman look like?
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: I'll show you.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: That's him as a kid. So here's what he looks
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: like in the movie right here. He kind of looks
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: like Philip Seymour Hoffman in Boogie Nights, just kind of the.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: So if this isn't offensive, why am I supposed to
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: be offended that Jamie Dimon's kid has money? Right. So
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: when somebody at Goldman Sachs gives a job to their son,
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: why is that supposed to offend me, you frauds? Why
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: is that supposed to offend me if this doesn't offend me?
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: Or shouldn't it all offend me?
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: I guess technically, yeah.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: One of the kids that got hired on SNL's dad's
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: like a producer at SNL. I don't really care about that.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: And I even tweeted like enough already because the kid's funny.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: The kid is funny. And if I see these movies
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: and these guys are really good in it, I'll still
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: say fuck them because it still should have went to,
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: you know, one of these other people I'd end up hating.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: But one of the kids got SNL. I forget. You know,
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: one of those strange looking kids from Brooklyn, that sketch group.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: And I forget the name. It's unimportant. But his dad's
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: a producer on SNL. It's Adam Sandler Collab.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't have to name him.
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and people were like all twisted up about that.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, guys, this is the way the world works.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: The guy with the dad gets the job. And the
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: kid's funny and their sketch group's funny. I mean, they
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: probably hate me or whatever, you know, because I'm logical
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: and brilliant. But I just don't care. Like, I'm just
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: saying let's not care at all. Like, don't fucking ever
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: come to me and start talking about, like, finance families then.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: Stop with this shit. Cut it out immediately. If you're
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: going to do this, and Hollywood seems like they're going
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: to do this, if we're just going to, as a gimmick,
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: give roles to dead people's kids, then I don't want
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: to hear shit about fucking the presidency of George W. Bush.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: Remember that when Bush was the thing that was an
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: entire narrative of like, how would you let this guy? Right.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: I'm sure this guy's a nice guy.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: Michael Gandolfini.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: I'm sure he's lovely. I don't know.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: He's like a nice kid.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't care. Take your money and
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: get out of here. Can anyone take their goddamn money
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: and leave, please? Is anything ever enough for Christ? Anything. Anything.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: How many generate, like, let it go. We didn't need
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: this fucking movie. The Many Saints of Newark.
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: We didn't need it.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we didn't need El Camino.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: Either, the Breaking Bad one with Jesse Pinkman.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: We did not need that. I didn't even I didn't
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: even dignify that but with even like letting it hold
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: any space in my head we do not need that
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: who's that actor Aaron Paul we do not need more
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: of him we do not need that we do not
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: need La Brea and then one of the kids in
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: La Brea I think is a sweet kid but you
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: you have to be homeless and the show has to
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: be cancelled sorry The Jack kid.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, Jack Martin?
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a nice kid. I've met him. He's an
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: actor in L.A. But he's not a bad actor, probably.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: But the show is atrocious, and I believe it should
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: be canceled, and that he should have to work at, like,
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: Astro Burger for a year to pay for what he's done. Yeah, yeah.
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: To just flip a few, put a few, put a
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: mayo on a bun. Make a nice burger to pay
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: for what you've done to us with this show where
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: people fall in a hole. You know? And why should
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: he have a chance? Let some dead guy's kid do it.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: Why have a new actor do it? Let's have someone
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: who died. Let's have their kid do it. That's all.
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: That seems to make sense, you know? One exception is
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: Michael K. Williams' son.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: Michael K. Williams?
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know if he has a son, but maybe
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: if he has a son, he could do something. Okay.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: That's my one exception.
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, that would be cool.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: That might be cool. That's one exception.
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: It rarely doesn't skip a generation. You have, like, Larry McMurtry,
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: James McMurtry. It's hard to think of other.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: Princess Diana died, right? And what's her son doing over here?
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: Wasting everyone's goddamn time. Him and his wife are running
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: around spending millions of dollars on security, okay? I don't
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: know what they're afraid. They're afraid that someone's going to
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: come near them and be racist. So they have to
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: spend millions and millions of dollars going to New York
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: City hotels. You know, she spent 75K on the baby
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: shower at the presidential suite at the Mark. You're sitting
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: there eating caviar. And they are running around here. So
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: I just stop talking about fairness and inequality and the
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: death tax and all this shit. Like, stop this, please.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: Stop it, please. I'm just, you know.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Maybe they're good. Maybe I'll see The Many Saints of Newark.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: But again, the Gabe storyline shocked me. It stunned me.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: I was not prepared for it. It was very interesting.
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: There's a scene in the thing where Tony is just getting...
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's brutal. And he's screaming, Oh!
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: Oh!
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, fuck. And you know what he's screaming as he's
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: getting fucked? There is no God. He's going, there is
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: no fucking God. There is no God. I hate God.
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: And I just go, you know, it's too much. Tindallandcomedy.com,
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: live tickets. We're on tour. Just shut up and go
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: into the shows. I don't even care anymore. I have
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: to go to the Ontario Improv. Ontario, California is one
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: of the biggest dumps in America, but the crowds were
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: fucking phenomenal. Because they have nothing to live for. You know,
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: when does this come out?
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: Tomorrow. The Saturday.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's over. By the time this comes out, it's over.
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: Go to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Get tickets, folks. I'll be there
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: next weekend. Spokane, Washington. Seattle, Washington. We're there at the
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: end of the month. Portland, Oregon. Indianapolis. Morgantown, West Virginia. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Washington, D.C.
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: New York. Atlantic City. Atlantic City. Rochester.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: And....
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: Many more. Iowa City, Madison, Louisville, Los Angeles, Bakersfield. I
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: do want to maybe say something about this Iowa City thing. Okay.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: But we don't have the time. It's 3.57.
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: We got like three minutes if.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: You want to. It's not enough. What I'm going to
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: say is I'm going to discuss it on the Patreon.
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: The people that run the theater in Iowa City... sent
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: out some type of email apologizing for booking me because
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: some members of their, like, corn community were offended by
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: things I had said. Of course, they're not canceling the
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: show because they want money.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: Correct.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: They're hypocrites. And they sent out an email, you know,
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: and they said that I had, like, questioned the vaccine
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: or something. Mm-hmm. I'm vaccinated. I never said don't get
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: the vaccine. I've told people to make their own choices.
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: I've also said the vaccine is not working as well
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: as everybody thought it would. And by the way, that
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: is something that I believe Pfizer would agree with. I mean,
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: this is legitimately crazy. I've said people should make their
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: own decisions about that and about everything, about voting, about everything.
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: I don't care what you do. Um, there's good reasons.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: I'm sure that people have for not taking the vaccine.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: And then there's good reasons that people have for taking it.
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know your health and your medical. It's not
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: my fucking problem. I'm not your doctor. And then he
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: also said that I said something racist about Black Lives Matter.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: I believe I suggested that the person who was running
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: Black Lives Matter should not have spent millions of dollars
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: buying four houses. I said that. Tamir Rice's mother said
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: we didn't see any of the money. Maybe she's a racist, too.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess everyone's a racist. But this
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: theater of, you know who these people are in Iowa.
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, they're the whitest people. biggest pussies in the
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: world who are pseudo-intellectuals, worthless people. They live in Iowa.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: They're in the art scene and they live in Iowa.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: That's how seriously they take doing things. And they're embarrassments.
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: They're embarrassments to life, these people. Let's be very honest.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: They're embarrassing. They're embarrassments. And they send out an article
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: because some fat chick in the theater program didn't like
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: something I said. Well, how about moving out of Iowa
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: and trying to make it for real? Okay, dummy. Move
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: to New York. Move to L.A. And try to get
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: on La Brea or whatever the hell you want to do.
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: But you send an email out and you didn't cancel
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: the show. So I don't know what I'm going to do.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: I'm looking for other venues. I'm angry about this. I'm
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: not happy about it. Um... They're like treating me like
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: it's weird to send an email out and be like,
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: he's questioned the response to the pandemic. I'm like, I
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: didn't do that. I don't even know what the fuck
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: that means. This is weak. It's truly weak that they
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: did this. I'm unhappy about it. They're slimy serpent like
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: behavior to do this, to send an email out on
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: this low level. And then you look for the comments.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: Where are all these comments?
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: I can't find anything.
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: Where are all these comments on social media? I went
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: on the Facebook, the Instagram, the Twitter. No one's mad.
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: Where is everyone that's so angry about this in your
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: pretend world in Iowa?
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: In their inbox.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: Shut up, Iowa. Give me a break, please. You're lucky
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: I'm going there. We should use it as a nuclear
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: testing facility. The Iowa Democratic primary. All these people care
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: about is they have the Iowa caucus where all these idiots,
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: every year they get a bunch of morons in a
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: house and the Democrats go in there and people are like, well,
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: I'm concerned about trade and my daughter's non-binary. And then
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: you have to pretend that these fucking people matter. These
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: corn fed slobs. No one gives a shit. Shut the
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: fuck up. And we have to pretend that they matter
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: because of this dumb electoral college or whatever. And I
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: think the electoral college is good because you do need
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: some proportional representation. I'm not trying to tell people in
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: these small states what to do. But the idea that
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: we're supposed to care about these fucking monsters is just
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: not true. And they derive their sense of political importance
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: from the Iowa caucus. Where they all have to convince
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: each other. It's not even a secret bout. They all
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: have to convince each other. They all have to debate.
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: And somebody's like, Pete Buttigieg is in the diner and
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: he saw me and he said that he was going
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: to be fair to the little babies that are different.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: It's like, all right, you shut the fuck up. So
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: I'm in a one-sided war with this dumb theater that
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: just sent an email. But of course they don't want
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: to cancel the show because they need money.
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: Because tickets are selling.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, tickets are selling and they need money to pay
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: their $ 400 a month mortgage or something. You know? Whatever. Anyway,
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: I'll be a Malibu hoe. Good night.