Latest / Student Of Life / Comparison Is Quietly Destroying People | Student Of Life Ep 11 (JTT)
Transcript
- TRE: Have you ever looked at somebody else's life and felt like you were falling behind? Well, hello everyone, and thank you for joining us for another week for another conversation. Tuned in to another episode with this gaggle of hosts, Tre here, and for another week, I'm joined by Tim and course Johnny V, the one and only. How are you doing today, guys? Tim S: Fantastic. How are you? TRE: I know how I feel about that. ⁓ ⁓ you're doing fantastic. That's what I take. Jonny v: Yeah. Tim S: Sump day. TRE: There it is. Johnny, how are you doing today, my man? Jonny v: I'm pushing forward, man. I'm pushing forward. That's all that matters. TRE: Y you know what? That does matter that you're pushing forward, but that's not all that matters. You know, whatever you have going on, I'm glad you showed up. I'm glad you're here. ⁓ hey, we'll move forward. I love it. I love it. ⁓ this episode, we're going to be talking about how we can spend our entire life chasing someone else's definition of success and never discover your own. Have you guys ever felt like that? Like you've actually seen other people's lives and felt like you were trying to compare it. Tim S: yes. ⁓ media is a huge thing for that. ⁓ between friends, influencers, i ⁓ you it. ⁓ And think people ⁓ for I'd be lying to say that like, ⁓ I never, you know, tried to compare myself to another person or tried to attain, you know, something that they may have had or you know, certain type of lifestyle or or way. So yeah. I TRE: Mm. Tim S: A hundred percent I'll admit to that. TRE: Yeah, it it's crazy because one of the old sayings I I used to hear is don't try to keep up with the Joneses, right? and I never understood what that meant, you know, like ⁓ don't have any friends named Jones, you know? ⁓ ⁓ Jonny v: Yeah. Tim S: Smiths. TRE: Don't try to keep up with the No, it doesn't hit as hard. ⁓ don't try to keep up with the Joneses, you know. ⁓ that was something that I've always heard. And and I've found myself, you know, kind of doing that a little bit where I see where someone else is is at, and then it's like, ooh, why can I get there? Right. ⁓ we're gonna talk, you know, about this a lot deeper, but hey Johnny, have you ever, you know, felt like that or heard any sayings? Go ahead. Jonny v: I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no. I I see it all the time now and I used to do it a lot more when I was younger. But nowadays it's ⁓ I I believe I get there when I get there. You know, or how in the biblical sense all ⁓ all in God's time. 'Cause ⁓ I'm not gonna force anything that shouldn't be coming my way. TRE: Well, yeah, I guess that forcing aspect is ⁓ something t to really think about. I saying that it's funny, right? But we're all trying to reach the level, right? We're all trying to do a little bit better than where we're currently at. I mean, ⁓ y you what, that's generalizing. I can't say that we all. I can only speak for myself. Most people that I know always want to do a little bit better than where they're currently at, you know? if you only have, you know, a little bit to eat, you you know, the next day you want a little bit more to eat, right? if you only have a little bit of water, you always want a you know, a little bit more water. I wonder where that thriving and and striving to more really comes from. You know, is it internal or is it because we see other people's lives? Tim S: I think it'd be both. So I I think with the increase of not only media itself, so you're talking about shows, movies, you know, anything like that on on T V, but also on social media, so the internet, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, all of those things I think are TRE: Or is it just Tim S: both avenues of where people go down and they see other individuals, whether it's a famous celebrity, whether it's someone local that they might know ⁓ you know, Facebook, instance. It's a big thing for you to see friends from high school or college or wherever and to where they're at and like, you know that that looks nice. I could I could go for that. And then it's it's Starting down that comparison trail of well, how do I get what they have? Or how do I do what they're able to do? And, know, like Johnny was saying, like, yeah, it a lot of it's ⁓ You see, you know, other kids that you ⁓ up with or were around, and you're like, ⁓ they have a pretty big house. Like, I'd like to live in a house like that. Or, you know, they have a nice car. It'd be nice to have a car like that. so think there is a lot of the stuff where It's stuff we're exposed to, but I think it there are some, you know, internal personal aspects of it as well, too. Because we we wanna have a good job. We wanna have money to be able to buy things and do things. And, you know, we wanna be able to, especially as you have a family, you wanna be able to support them. And I know the biggest thing is being able to give, you know, of your kids a better life than you had previously. So it's that continuous cycle of of trying to in a better place and and have better things at your disposal than you may have had. TRE: Hmm. So so little bit of it is definitely ⁓ in us. For I'm hearing from you ⁓ is you're thinking that it's kind of already built inside of us. Fr just from our perception of seeing things, you know, and be like, Ooh, that's really nice. Ooh, ooh, I want that. Hmm. Johnny, have you ever seen ⁓ or about as a father, have you ever like kind of compared your fathering style to anyone else's? Or is that something that's not even really a thing? Jonny v: ⁓ All the time. actually tend to do that ⁓ that you actually point that out, ⁓ I tend to do that a a a lot more than I but it's just 'cause it's the things that I wanna give my kids. ⁓ And see families with Tim S: Mm-hmm. Jonny v: double the amount of kids or even triple the amount of kids and they're doing these great big luxurious things. But at the same time it's again, whatever doing and they're doing great in their life, good. God bless them. Like ⁓ like great. ⁓ I'm happy for them. The only it ever really kind of hurts the most is when ⁓ my kids see it too and they're just like, well why can't we do it? Well, 'cause, ⁓ you know Their parents make that you have to be honest with them. Yeah, their parents make more money or whatever it is. The only good thing is that so tell them all the time, we and give them ⁓ everything that didn't have as kids. And right the great part is that I have a great wife that always reminds us, or reminds me anyways, that we're already giving them more than we had in our childhood. So that being said, I I tend to compare it a lot to other child to a lot of parents, as as like what they can give their kids or the experiences they can give their kids. But ⁓ ⁓ not dive too deep that rabbit hole only because again, it we have different lifestyles, different experiences, different jobs. Who knows what doing ⁓ and I I don't really care. It's it's them and that's how that's great that they're doing it for their kids, but i it's not gonna be something that I have to chase every single time. TRE: Yeah. And and it's kind of ⁓ refreshing to hear that you actually have the conversations and you're honest with your kids. You're having these conversations with them, you know? it's just you know, honesty. I I I I think that a lot of people say that children that they probably won't understand, right? If if you're having a intellectual conversation with them like just treat them as a a human being and just give it to him straight. But that's exactly what you're doing. I mean you may not go into detail, right? But just from what you told me right now, you're still having these adult ish conversations with them, right? I wonder if that's actually gonna help them. ⁓ okay. And that's how you feel like you have to. Okay. Go ahead. Jonny v: Yeah, you have to. Yeah, you have to 'cause yeah. I if you with kids especially, yes, there's a way to word certain things that they'll understand, but at the same time you have to be willing to let them know what's going on. You can't now 'cause I'll I'll use my own h childhood, I guess, in that sense. dad never let us know that we were struggling, but obviously eventually we found out, ⁓ yeah, we're struggling but don't have to tell that to your kids. You just have to tell them, Hey, that's not a right now thing. We can try and plan that for another time thing. But at the same time, ⁓ whole comparison thing comes into play again. Just because your friend has something doesn't mean you need to have that same thing. They have a different parent and they have a different or ⁓ agreement with their parent. So, The good comparison is ⁓ cell phones. I know we went over this ⁓ in a different topic ⁓ a couple of episodes back. the ki to me, some kids don't need cell phones. Like and ⁓ like you said, we had an honest conversation with our kids, letting them know why they don't need any cell phones and ⁓ understood. They're did they ⁓ understand a hundred percent? No. W did they agree with it? No, not at all. But it's again we had to be honest with them. TRE: Yeah, it's it's it's not up for them to agree with it, right? Because you're helping to guide them. I I I love it. I love it. And you know, it's crazy because Tim, you hit on a point earlier when you said that social media actually exposes a lot of this stuff, right? As well. it definitely puts it on steroids. And and I wholeheartedly believe that, you know, Because it's constantly just thrown in your face, right? and ⁓ you know, everyone wants to share their their highlights. wants to share the the good that happens. Why? Because we work hard for what we got what we have, right? We work hard. So of course people want to share that. ⁓ It's just that subset that that now because we're seeing these trips to Bali or ⁓ I I can't think, you know, ⁓ Or any other place, right? Just name name a really exciting place that you would love to go. Italy. you know, Brazil, whatever. And and and they're showing these these pictures and and these videos, and you're like, man, I wish I could do that. I wish I could do that. I ooh, I wish I could do that, you know? Now you're coveting what what they have going on, ⁓ it's just Tim S: And I think it'll be tougher now with the advancements of technology like what we talked about previously with AI and you know, someone could Photoshop themselves in front of a nice fancy car or you know, in onto a beach somewhere and make it look realistic, and you're like, Man, like they're they're doing really well. Yeah. Well and yeah, it's and and you see those and and the people that are constantly posting that stuff and TRE: An unintended It's already happening. It's already happening. Tim S: You know, they're getting they're they're reeling those folks in that are, you know, following them, you know, thinking everything that's on there is, you know, true and and, you know, to the T. And then lo and behold, you find out like, no, they they didn't go there or they flew coach or, you know, of these things. ⁓ Jonny v: It's it's crazy 'cause TRE: Hold on, hold on. You bring up that that y that they flew coach. Rick Ross. I d I don't know if you know who Rick Ross is, anybody who's listening or he recently flew coach got called out for flying coach. Or maybe it wasn't coach, but he flew you know, a domestic flight. But ⁓ but budget ⁓ Well, no, flew he flew Tim S: Yeah. Jonny v: Yeah. Tim S: Like economy. Just just basic economy. TRE: on a regular, you know, airline because his private jet was being upgraded for ⁓ Starlink or something like that. You know, and once again, so now you're being called out because you took a step down, you know, and and so it kind of is like that reverse. Kind of weird, right? It's really crazy because one thing that I'm noticing, that you brought up about AI and everything, There are whole people that are being generated. Like like like they're not even real people, but the scenes that they put these people in and interacting and doing certain things, it looks literally like it's a real person and a real scene. Tim S: Yes. Jonny v: Mm-hmm. TRE: ⁓ you pay attention to the very small small and minute details, you can tell that it's AI generated, right? ⁓ can tell. But you have to really pay attention, you know, so by squirting a water bottle and the water's not going anywhere on the table or wherever that they're squirting it on. Or there were two people in the background and now there was only One person after that made up AI generated person moves and goes in front of them. Now there's only one person in the background in that same spot. It's little things like that. But the casual consumer who's just like scrolling and they're like, ⁓ there's this beautiful person. ⁓ I want to follow this person. This person isn't even real. Tim S: Like, yep. Yeah. TRE: Scary. Scary times. Tim S: Or like the ones that have seven fingers on both hands. Jonny v: You you tell you tell ⁓ to hold up three fingers in front of their face and they won't do it. TRE: Or that. Tim S: Yeah. Jonny v: Hey you guys, hold the three fingers in front of your face. Tim's hot. I knew it. TRE: There you go, Tim. Tim's AI generated. Everything I knew about Tim was a lie. Right? Right. So, you know, my now here's my main question. You know, what area of life do you find yourself comparing the most? Is it your career? What about family? Maybe it's relationships or just fitness? Go ahead and let us know in the comments below and let's have that discussion. Tim S: Can't see me. TRE: And in the full package, which is now up and available on Patreon, we'll be taking a deeper dive into this topic itself and give you really our thoughts and perspectives. And as I said, if you have some thoughts, go ahead and leave that comment. But if you haven't already done so, feel free to hit those like and subscribe buttons and share this with someone who'd benefit in this conversation or any of our other previous ones. But all. Let's continue to learn, grow, and live together. See you on the other side.