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#016 - TIPS To Avoid Binge Eating! 🍎🚫 · Beyond Sovereignty

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Anybody that has an eating disorder is constantly thinking about food. It
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literally consumes your mind. We think they're secretive eating
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disorders. They're actually an energetic frequency and vibration that
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we're portraying to the world that we're not even aware of. Planning out
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your meals is essential. Regular meals is really important and
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they don't have to be when society tells you they need to be. I feel
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yuck about this. A binge eater would understand. You're literally just
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sitting in front of the fridge just eating everything out of it. And then you throw
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all the food away because you're like, I've got to stop. And then you'll go to the bin and be like,
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I'm going to eat out of the bin. I can't believe I've gotten to this level. It gets that
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bad. Welcome Wisdom Keepers,
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Soul Tribe and New Earth Leaders to Soul Temple, your
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haven for self-discovery and growth. I'm Blythe Langford
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and I am your guide to finding yourself and your true,
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true, true, true, true purpose. Together, let's shift
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from feeling stuck and misaligned to living a life of
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purpose and prosperity. I
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suffered with binge eating for probably about 30 years. It was...
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one of the most challenging things that I've ever, I
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don't know if you ever overcome something, but something that I've integrated into
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my life. And that's why I'm really passionate about sharing more
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on this topic with so many people. For me, I
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remember like my binge eating started from
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being in a family where we were not allowed to leave the table unless
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we ate all of our food. And I was the eldest of four kids, and
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in order to protect them so they didn't get hurt or hit, I
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would eat not only my food, but I would eat their food as well,
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just so that we could get out
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of the war zone because it was literally a war zone in our household every single
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night with this eating thing. It was awful. I don't know
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if my siblings remember it, but I remember being tortured with food as a kid and
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it was just awful. My relationship with food really
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young was just not good. It was
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really weird because mum being quite narcissistic,
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she'd always try and you
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know, reward us with food and then want us to eat so much food. And
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it was just, oh, it was awful. It was just like a spiral out of control. And
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that's what really led to it being a spiral out of control my
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whole life. And I look back at moments in time, like
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in my teenage years when I was really needing support and help. and
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I didn't have anybody and that was a time where I put on a lot of weight and I turned
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to my eating disorder to help me because I didn't know how
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to self-soothe. And my eating disorder helped me
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soothe myself in some way, shape or form. It helped me
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numb out the feelings and the pain that I was suffering with. Then
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when I got into my 20s and 30s, like at different times,
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it did come back. And it did pop
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up when I felt really stuck or overwhelmed or
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wasn't getting the nutritional content or value that I actually needed
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from my food. And so now as an older
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woman and somebody that studied many different diets,
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modalities, naturopathic nutrition, raw vegan chef
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and holistic coaching and health coaching
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and all of the things, really finding so
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many stable tools that have helped me, that also
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help my clients with this interesting
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eating disorder. Because it's not like you're starving yourself
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constantly, but you do like to starve yourself at times because,
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yeah, well, let's go into it, what binge eating actually
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is. Because binge eating, unlike anorexia,
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is a style of eating where you eat so
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much in one sitting, like literally just non-stop, non-stop,
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non-stop, non-stop, to the point where you could vomit. And
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then you become so full that you might not be able to eat for a
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day. So, it's not like you have anorexia, but
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there's anorexic tendencies in there as well, and of course, body
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dysmorphia comes along with it too. So,
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that's how I would be. I would eat so much food,
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and then literally the next day when I woke up, still
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feel ill with the thought of even eating, and
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I couldn't eat any more food. I also mentioned in
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a previous episode about our nervous system responses because
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there is four main basic ones that everybody knows about, fight, fright,
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freeze or fawn, but they don't know about the additional two, which
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is fucking and feasting. And
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that's what binge eating is. It's just a nervous system
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response because we don't know how to be in the world. We
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don't know what is going on. And we fall back into this old
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part of ourselves that just comforts ourself with food or is
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dying for external love or validation that from a caregiver that
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was feeding us love, like our mother or our caregiver, just
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instead of loving on us, would just feed us and feed us and
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feed us. So that's a little bit about that. It's
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about consuming large quantities of food
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in short periods of time. And then it's often felt
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with a feeling of extreme loss of control as
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well. Yet it's what gives us our control too.
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Now people can be like, oh yeah, but I eat lots of food in
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one period of time. It's like, okay, I'm talking
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about potentially eating a week's worth of food in one
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sitting. That's what binge eating is. People are like, Oh,
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radio, yeah, no, I eat big meals. Yes, it's completely
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different. People often do this in secret as well because
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they're so ashamed of feeling so
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out of control that they try and grasp for any sense
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of control in this overeating behaviour. It
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can even get to the point where Oh,
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this is so vulnerable. And it's like, bleh, I feel yuck about
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this. But generally, a binge eater would
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understand. So it can even be to the point where you're literally
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just sitting in front of the fridge, just eating everything out of it. And then
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you throw all the food away because you're like, I've got to stop. And I don't know
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how to stop myself. And then you'll go and have a shower to help yourself feel
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better. And then you'll go to the bin and be like, I'm going to eat out of the
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bin. I can't believe I've gotten to this level. It gets that
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bad. It's horrendous. So
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yeah, anybody that's suffering with binge eating,
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I understand. And hopefully this episode
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will give you like quite a few tools and tips that
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will really help with your binge eating as well. So binge eating
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is a really common one for women that are in business, that
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are busy, that are leaders and entrepreneurs. It's extremely
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common because we can't be anorexic because We
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need to eat so that we can have our business thrive. And we
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generally are so controlling in our business, especially women
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that are in hustle mentality. Binge eating is so huge
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for women that are in hustle, right? So it's still we're
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really strong and confident in our business, yet there's this
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underlying uncontrollable urge within us that we're not
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really present with or understand completely. And binge
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eating is a way for us to gain control or to have greatest
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rapport with this younger part of ourselves that
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is unhealed and unintegrated. Because I know within myself
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and with a lot of my clients, it's when we have greatest rapport with our
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mom, we have the binge eating. Because
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when we're in our businesses, we actually have greatest rapport with our
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father and our father figure. So it's a
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way for us to create balance in our lives because we don't want
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to be seen as too masculine in our business, being this amazing
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leader who's so courageous. And people, I know they've said
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this to you as well, you're like, you're really masculine, you know, it's
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like, um, and you believe it at times and then
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you balance it out with this overrating because
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you can control that and you can balance out the masculine
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and the feminine wounding, which is, Shit, right?
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Like, it feels shit to do this. But it's an unconscious program
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that we do to help ourselves become back in touch with the feminine
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because it's awful when people tell you that you're
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a masculine woman. When you're not, you're a fucking fierce woman leader.
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Like, that's all it is. But there's this younger part of us that
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has been put down and suppressed when we were children, generally
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by other women. That makes us feel like
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we are masculine and different when we're not. We're just courageous leaders.
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And when people have said these things to us in our business, it does make
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us feel out of control. So that's why we go back home as well and
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we fall back into our binge eating because we feel out of control
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in some way. We're not completely in control of our emotions and
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somebody's words have literally just triggered this younger part of us
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that puts us into a nervous system response spiral and
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drops us back into binge eating. So it's really important to
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be aware of when we are coming into this
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binge eating response and realizing that it's
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just a younger part of ourselves that feels really unsafe and
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really unseen and we're acting out of our
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nervous system. So self-regulation can be a beautiful one for
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this, but we'll go into that in a little bit. Rapid eating continuously without
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pausing. You don't even notice yourself chewing a lot of
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time and you don't even notice yourself tasting the food or
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enjoying your food. That's another sign that
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you're binge eating. emotional eating as well.
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So rather than dealing with
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what's gone on in our day, we just come home and we're using food as
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a coping mechanism. So to manage and alleviate
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our emotions. It might be stress, it might be sadness, it
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might be boredom. Sometimes it's even happiness and joy, like
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we've just got nobody to experience it with. So we
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fall back into our comfort spot and we go to our eating
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disorder because it's actually easier to be with our
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eating disorder than it is to celebrate ourself with others. So
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it depends on your emotional past
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and your emotional suppression to how your binge
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eating will actually come out and be exposed
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to yourself. It's also eating beyond fullness. So
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what I mean by that is, you know that you're already full,
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but your brain is telling you that you're not full. so you continually
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eat, tricking yourself. I know that my mind used to do this as
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well. It would trick me. It's like, no, no, no, I'm not full. I can still eat more. I can still eat more. Yet
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my stomach is extended so far, I can feel
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that the food is up to my throat. I literally can't get
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anything else in, but I'll keep on going because it's actually alleviating
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the suffering that I'm feeling inside or the pain or the discomfort that
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I'm feeling inside. It's almost like,
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I'm sure you get this too if you do have binge eating, it's like
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there's this entity that just takes you over, that
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you just are not in control of. And it's like you're
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in there witnessing yourself just eating and eating and eating, and
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yet you still can't gain control of it. So it becomes like
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this point where it gets to the point of discomfort and pain. And
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then once you've finished eating and you literally cannot
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eat anymore, then the secrecy and shame of it
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as well. We shame ourselves so bad with it, like
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literally beat ourselves up so bad that we can't even eat the next
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day. Sometimes it might even be two days and people are like, wow, how
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could you not eat for two days? It's like, I am so full of food, I
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literally cannot eat anymore. And then the embarrassment about
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eating, the eating behavior and leading to the hiding food
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or eating alone to avoid judgment. These are all common
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threads of binge eating. And
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then the frequent dieting because you're always extending yourself
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and then shrinking, extending yourself and then shrinking. So it
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just like you're yo-yoing all the time. So engaging in
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repeating cycles and restricting dieting, followed by
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episodes of binge eating, often feeling trapped in a cycle of
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depreviation and then overeating. So it's just
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painful a lot of the time, isn't it? And
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the physical signs that you can often notice is fluctuations
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in weight. So you'll often
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need different clothes sizes at home because there'll be periods where you're
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a lot leaner because you've managed your eating disorder, or
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there'll be periods where you've really binged out because you've been
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through a really stressful period, and then there'll be clothes
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that you need to have at home that are bigger, that you hate yourself
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when you have to wear them. because it means you're out of control again
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and you've lost yourself. And then also gastrointestinal
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issues can often be a problem, so stomach bloating, stomach cramps
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and IBS is a very common one. Fatigue and
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lethargy are also really common as well. And
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of course, the psychological impacts. So experiencing distress,
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low self-esteem, negative emotions, always
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relating to the eating disorder that you probably aren't
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even telling people about. And it really impacts the quality of
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your life and how you function on a day-to-day basis.
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Because dealing not only with the eating disorder, but the shame of
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the eating disorder, and then they're not wanting to go out with people and then the nervousness
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of wanting to go out for dinner with your friends but then like, am I going to eat too
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much? Am I going to like binge? It's so tiring,
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isn't it? And it literally creates this preoccupation with
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food. So constantly thinking about food, like I know
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anybody that has an eating disorder is constantly thinking about
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food, like it literally consumes your mind. When
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am I going to be eating next? How am I going to be eating next? You'll literally be talking to somebody and
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all you can think about is your next meal, is your next meal, how much you're going to eat, what do
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you want to eat? And then every mirror that you see, you're constantly
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checking your body every day or wherever there's a scale.
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You want to weigh yourself so that you can literally compare
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yourself to yourself and how you
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are at your smallest and your leanest and to those around you.
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Am I better or worse than them? Am I right or wrong? Am I good or bad? Whatever
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your core wound is, it'll come up constantly as
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you go through and grow through your eating disorder.
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So triggers and patterns of binge eating are emotional eating
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caused by anxiety and stress, restricted
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eating during the day, so when
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you're really busy of course, like you're in this hustle mode, you're all about work
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and over and about business and overachieving that
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you literally like can't even get food in in that time
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because it's all about the work. So of course then what's going
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to happen later on at night when you're dehydrated and starving
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is you're going to fall back into overeating habits. And
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then this food can be used as a coping mechanism as
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well. I'm really excited to share some supportive strategies to
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help overcome this eating disorder, but then also some
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dietary tips that are also really supportive that
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have changed my life completely and
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nourish and support me so that I'm always the weight that I want to be,
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but from a place of health and vitality rather than from scarcity,
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shaming, and myself and lack. So mindful eating
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practices are so helpful and what I
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mean by this is slowing down. when
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you eat, chewing slower and really slowing down, watching
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what you're eating. If you're in a period or
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if you've come through a period when you've had extreme binge eating, then
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really try practicing this at home as well. Start off really
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doing this at home. You're going to prepare your food out, really
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know what you want to eat, and eating really slowly, watching the
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food as it's going in, cutting up your food really nice and
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small, chewing it a lot. Swallowing it completely before
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you take in the next meal, the next mouthful. So really
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trying that. And the thing that has helped me most
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in my life, I always thought it was because I was a Capricorn and Capricorns are amazing at
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planning, but it's really amazing for other business owners
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and women who are in hustle mentality, who are great planners. So
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planning out your meals is essential. So,
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knowing what you're going to eat for the next day, planning it out, like as a business
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owner, I used to prep my meals twice a week. Even as a raw vegan, I
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would prep my meals twice a week. So, I'd make meals for four
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days one day and then three days another day. I'd make my meals that I
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was going to have for the day so that I'd know exactly what I was going to have. Everything was
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organized. I didn't get into stress and overwhelm and chaos and
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everything was super controlled, but meant that I
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could relax, because with my organisation I
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could relax and my nervous system would not go into a fight, fright, freeze,
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fawn, fuck response and try and heal me with food.
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So I can't express enough how important
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preparation is. stress management techniques.
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Now for myself and my clients, I recommend any
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type of exercise, all types of exercise, and meditation
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and breath work. So in the morning I start off with meditation
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and breath work because they allow me to get out of my unconscious
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programming and back into my heart space and
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back into what it is that I'm here to do. And I know for myself that
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being in a space of organization
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and putting me back on my mission and my vision and my purpose is
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really important. So if you're in a heightened moment, just
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slow exhales. And if you're an anxious person, you
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can be like, I can't even breathe when I'm anxious. Totally. Hold
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your breath. Just hold your breath, sweetheart. Hold
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your breath for as long as you can and then slow long exhale. And
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then quick breath in, hold your breath, slow long exhale. Do
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that three times, it'll help you get back into your conscious brain. And then it will allow your
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nervous system to come back into its parasympathetic state, which
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is its rest and digest state, and you're not in your fight, fright, feasting
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stage. So you'll feel so much better. So slow, slow
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exhales is really, really important. and incorporating
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self-care routines as well into your daily structures. So
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really allocating those times to know that your
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meditation, your breath work. For me also running, like I
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run every day because I can't do yoga anymore due to a disability, but
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I run every day and I do breath work when I run. My whole run,
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yes for a complete hour, I am doing quick breaths in
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and slow long exhales. so that I am really
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realigning my nervous system and not overusing
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cortisol and just realigning with grace and with gratitude and
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with self-regulation. Now regular meals. Regular
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meals is really important and they don't have to be when society tells
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you they need to be because everybody are different. Some people like
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to eat in the morning so then I would say have like morning and
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have lunches be your biggest meal. or if you're like an afternoon
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eater. And this is a really good practice for binge eaters because we like to have periods
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where we don't eat generally. So if
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you were to do that, then you'd have your, like I said, your breakfast and
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then your lunch and then potentially maybe, you know, a smoothie or
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a drink for dinner. For myself, I love having no
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breakfast because sunshine is my breakfast. Listen to the previous episode
19:39
about that. I love having my practices for my breakfast and
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then I'll have lunch and a big dinner. like a big lunch and
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a big dinner. And always throughout the
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day when I'm ready, I'll have anywhere from two to four litres of water. So
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depending on what I need, how much I've done in the day.
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But generally, I run for an hour every single day.
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I also run a farm. And for
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me, anywhere from two to four litres is perfect. And two huge
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meals are great for me. So, yeah,
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see what's going to work best for you. It might be the morning meals and
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then some period of fasting because I do believe that some
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period of fasting is really beneficial, especially for a binge eater. It
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allows you to still feel in control, but it also allows your body to
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detox anything that's coming up for you. Now
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with the practicing mindful eating, focusing on eating mindfully
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by paying attention to hunger and fullness cues, chewing
20:36
thoroughly and savoring the taste and the texture in every single bite
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is great, like I mentioned, but avoiding distractions. So
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not eating whilst you're watching TV or using your
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devices is so amazing because when
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we're watching our device or watching TV or a program, we're
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not actually fully aware of us eating and
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as a binge eater you don't even know that you've actually eaten and because
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you're not aware of it your your body doesn't switch on
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to the fact that you have actually eaten and you'll need to eat way more. So
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really taking the time to turn your device off and and eating
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that way. For me, I make my evening meal like a
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ritual. I'll eat outside on the balcony, like yes,
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even in the middle of winter when it is freezing cold in the bush, it
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can get down to zero and I have got like ten jumpers
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on, two like thermal jackets, blankets
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and I'm outside with my candle and my dog and
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the beautiful fairy lights that you might see on my balcony and
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that's when I have my food and I listen to nature as well and
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just calm my nervous system. I say a prayer before I eat, do
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my gratitudes as well and then I eat my food. And
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because I'm away from the kitchen as well, I'm outside, it really
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allows me to tune in and slow down and
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then I don't overeat as well and I really enjoy and savour
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every mouthful and I love, love eating with nature like
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that. What can also help when you're deeply in this is
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seeking professional help. Now, it's
22:15
a really tricky one because a lot of people will be like,
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yep, I'm going to go to a nutritionist. And it's like, yep, you can go to a nutritionist and
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then it's actually not
22:26
just a physical issue that you're dealing with. There is
22:29
a lot of psychological issues that you're dealing with here. Or you
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can go to a psychologist, but then there's the nutritional issues that
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you're also going through as well. So that's
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why it's really important to find somebody that can deal with
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all of it. Now myself being a
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naturopathic nutritionist, being a raw vegan chef, being a
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health coach, a business coach, a life coach, a
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rebirthing birthwork facilitator, trauma facilitator, all of these things
22:58
means that the programs that I pop people through are specifically
23:03
designed and personalized support and guidance to
23:07
help people with where they're at and where they want to be and
23:10
understanding the underlying triggers that are
23:13
there and the underlying behaviors that are there and
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how we can incorporate them into your day and
23:21
have them be your allies for success rather
23:24
than suppressing them or avoiding them or pushing
23:29
them away or trying to have them be something else
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because they're parts of you that aren't integrated now. You don't need
23:36
to suppress them. And when we can incorporate them into our day,
23:39
it's just these younger parts of us that we don't yet know how to love. And
23:43
so we can learn to reparent ourselves because we weren't parented as
23:47
effectively as needed as kids. And gosh,
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this will change your life forever. Gosh, this will change your business forever.
23:54
Because we don't understand that when we are
23:59
having these secretive, we think they're secretive eating
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disorders, that they are actually secretive. But they're
24:06
actually an energetic frequency and vibration that we're portraying
24:09
to the world that we're not even aware of. Everybody's aware that
24:13
there's something incongruent within us And so
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it's allowing ourselves to be in congruence and in
24:19
integrity within ourselves, which changes not
24:23
only our eating disorder, but our business, our relationships, our
24:26
relationship to self, our relationship to our worth, to
24:29
nature. And a tailorized plan for
24:32
you and your specific needs will literally change
24:36
everything and will literally help the trajectory of your life because
24:40
I know that when I was in eating disorder and
24:44
when my clients come to me with eating disorders, you're
24:49
like, far out. Am I still in this place? Am I
24:52
a 30, 40, 50, 60 year old man or woman that
24:55
still has an eating disorder? Haven't I, haven't
24:59
I resolved this yet? And
25:02
it's really tricky because we've tried help in the past, but it
25:05
hasn't been a program or a product or a
25:09
retreat or an event that's been able to amalgamate
25:13
all of what's necessary for you to grow through
25:17
and actually understand yourself at the deepest possible
25:20
layers so that you can help heal this and
25:24
be the best version of yourself for the rest of your life. So I'd love you to stay really
25:27
aware of your behaviors and your patterns and notice is
25:31
it in times of stress or is it in
25:34
times of anxiety or where you feel completely out of control or
25:38
where people have disempowered you that you fall back into these
25:41
patterns of binge eating or eating disorder. remembering
25:48
that you're not alone. You don't have to do this alone. I know that I've
25:52
had people, like I said, that come to me in their 50s and 60s and
25:55
they can't believe that they still have eating disorder. Or
26:00
even in their 20s and 30s. And this is something that, because I'm
26:03
so passionate about it, a lot of people of my clients that come to me, they're generally,
26:06
this is something they're not yet mastered in as well. So this
26:10
is why we really love to have This is why it's
26:13
a really important part of everything that I do, whether it be the books
26:16
that I put out there or the retreats that I have or the work that
26:20
I do in the programs. It's vital that everybody understands
26:24
what nutrition is and how it can really be a profound
26:28
benefit to your life. And if it is something that you
26:31
are struggling with and you want help with, please don't hesitate to reach out. You
26:35
don't need to do this alone. It's really important that you reach out
26:38
because Your body is vital. It's like
26:41
your soul temple. It's the only one you get, you
26:45
know, like you don't want to keep on hurting it or
26:48
harming it. I know that. I know you know that. So
26:51
this is just an invitation to find a new way.
26:55
And I'm not saying that I've got all the answers, but I'm saying that I've got some answers
26:58
that have helped me and helped a lot of other people. Um,
27:03
yeah, I just, yeah, don't want people to suffer. It's
27:06
so unnecessary in this world and in this time, you know, there's already
27:09
so much suffering that we're going through as individuals and
27:13
as a species. And it's, you know, if you can gain your
27:16
power back in from this place, then you'd
27:19
be unstoppable. And I know you know that. So I'm here for you
27:23
when you're ready. Thank you for
27:27
joining me on Soul Temple. If this episode spoke to
27:30
your soul, I would love, love, love your support with
27:33
a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And do
27:36
not forget to subscribe on your favorite platform. But don't let
27:39
your journey end here. Connect with me and my like-minded community of
27:43
souls at Blythe Langford on all social platforms. I
27:47
look forward, I really look forward to diving deeper with you