Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Enneagram and Gift-Giving Part #2

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Enneagram and Gift-Giving Part #2 · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Does the gift buying process always feel a little stressful for you?
0:05
SPEAKER_01: Do you find yourself worrying about whether your friends and family will like the gift you got them?
0:09
SPEAKER_01: Is it meaningful?
0:10
SPEAKER_01: Is it what they want?
0:12
SPEAKER_01: Does it express the value you place on your relationship?
0:16
SPEAKER_01: Well, after dozens of conversations, the consensus is in.
0:20
SPEAKER_01: The number one struggle of gift buying is wondering if you will get the right gift for your favorite people.
0:27
SPEAKER_01: But don't worry, I am here to take away some of the gift buying mystery and stress this Christmas.
0:34
SPEAKER_01: For the special two-part podcast series, I've interviewed nine of my friends to represent their Enneagram type as it relates to the gift-giving season.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: And while you can listen to these episodes in any order, this is episode 179.
0:48
SPEAKER_01: So make sure you go back to episode 178, which is part one of this series.
0:54
SPEAKER_01: In these conversations, I asked each of my friends to share what kind of gifts are on their list.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: I asked what they don't enjoy about the gift buying process, also what they do enjoy about gift buying.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: And as a bonus, I asked them to share a little bit about their thoughts on their love language.
1:13
SPEAKER_01: Of course, because these are my people, our conversations varied in length and content, but I know you're going to love what you learn about each Enneagram type and their gift preferences.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: Now, this year, in case you didn't know, I've also recreated my Enneagram gift giving guide.
1:31
SPEAKER_01: It's a beautiful printout designed to help you understand what each type really wants and why their wish list looks the way it does.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: I've also added 10 customized gift tags that you can print and use for your one-of-a-kind selections and gifts this year.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: I know many of you have used my previous guide, which gave you some big wins for Christmases in the past.
1:52
SPEAKER_01: And some of you have mentioned how you used it for gift shopping all year long.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: Snag this gift guide to get your shopping done a little earlier this year and be more confident that your friends and family will love their gift.
2:05
SPEAKER_01: I know you're going to want to share this episode with your friends and family to let them know a little bit more about your personality.
2:11
SPEAKER_01: And perhaps it'll start a fun conversation, which will help you understand their personality too.
2:18
SPEAKER_01: Be on the lookout for a special Instagram TV series featuring these conversations.
2:24
SPEAKER_01: This will just be another easy way to share these insights.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: You can come join the conversation at Simply Wholehearted.
2:31
SPEAKER_01: And while you're there, be sure and check out Bone and Marrow Market.
2:35
SPEAKER_01: These friends of mine are brilliant.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: They have taken all of the guesswork out of the gift buying process and created clickable links and items to buy, ranging from stocking stuffers to that unique special gift that you need for your loved ones.
2:52
SPEAKER_01: Hi, my name is Amy Wicks, and I love to talk about the gospel message your heart was created to hear.
2:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm a Christian Enneagram coach from mom who loves to share resources which help you be confident that you are the best mom for your kids.
3:08
SPEAKER_01: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Midwest.
3:13
SPEAKER_01: I was overwhelmed by motherhood, and I struggled to understand my true motivations.
3:19
SPEAKER_01: But the Lord didn't let me stay there.
3:22
SPEAKER_01: He helped me turn those challenging moments of motherhood into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my marriage, and my kids.
3:30
SPEAKER_01: I share a broken-hearted perspective with story, but with wholehearted purpose and plans, you can live a life full of courage and abundance.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal and friend who can't help but talk about Jesus and the Inneagram.
3:47
SPEAKER_01: So get to that pile of laundry, or hit the treadmill, or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: Get ready to be encouraged and challenged while you listen.
3:57
SPEAKER_01: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
4:03
SPEAKER_01: Gabby, I'm so excited that you're here today.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to be here.
4:08
SPEAKER_01: You're here to represent the Enneagram 4, maybe in a sentence or two or three, give us a little insight to your Enneagram type.
4:17
SPEAKER_02: I'm an Enneagram 4.
4:19
SPEAKER_02: I did not land there initially.
4:21
SPEAKER_02: I initially thought I was a six, but with much work and dialogue with you and our mom's group, I came to the realization that I'm a four, and I think I'm still digesting that and letting that be well with my soul.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: Claiming that I'm a four.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's hard for me to claim that.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: But yes, I'm a four.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: I feel like it took about like a year or so to kind of figure that out, and I think I'm still figuring it out, and I love listening to all of your episodes because it helps me identify better or not identify better with something.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: So yes, I am an Enneagram four.
5:00
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
5:00
SPEAKER_01: I still want to have you on the podcast focusing on Enneagram wings because I see you have a very strong three-wing.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: And so I think that would be a fun conversation because I think that's maybe even led to the like, am I?
5:18
SPEAKER_01: Aren't I?
5:19
SPEAKER_01: And I know you're not the only one out there.
5:22
SPEAKER_02: For sure.
5:22
SPEAKER_02: My wing is strictly solely like three.
5:25
SPEAKER_02: I probably should dive into five a little bit more, but I'm just such a strong three-wing that it's very hard for me to even pinpoint anything in a five.
5:35
SPEAKER_02: Um, and yeah, I kind of went back, am I a three-wing four or am I a four-wing three?
5:39
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, my three-wing is very strong.
5:42
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: Kind of a little side note, one of my favorite conversations that I'm having here this advent season is with Sherry Gregg, and she wrote an advent book, and she's an Enneagram five wing four.
5:56
SPEAKER_01: So that might be kind of fun to listen to that one and hear her and her perspective and go, like, oh, maybe I could flap that wing a little bit.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: That sounds amazing.
6:06
SPEAKER_01: I've been looking for advent material to go through.
6:10
SPEAKER_02: So that's exciting.
6:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's 30 readings that she's a storyteller.
6:15
SPEAKER_01: And so it's taking what is familiar and painting it in a little bit, if you will.
6:21
SPEAKER_01: It's just really great.
6:22
SPEAKER_01: So, and plus I can read it in, I don't know, seven minutes every day.
6:25
SPEAKER_01: And you know, yeah, yeah.
6:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so give us a little insight on what might be on an Enneagram 4's Christmas wish list.
6:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:38
SPEAKER_02: So I was thinking about this, and as you asked me to be on, maybe this is the three in me, I'm not sure.
6:43
SPEAKER_02: But like I like to prep and think ahead and like, okay, what do I want for Christmas?
6:48
SPEAKER_02: And I kind of start scouting, and I was like sitting in tension of trying, frustrated with myself, like, why do I have to be this way?
6:56
SPEAKER_02: We just moved into a new house, and so when we moved, I like threw away our dishware because we had had it since we were just married, so we've been married, it will be nine years in June, and it was just old and cracked, and I was like, you know, I'm not even gonna pack these because I really hate packing dishware, and they're old, and it will be an excuse to get some new ones.
7:16
SPEAKER_02: I should just go to IKEA and buy a dishware set for like$20.
7:21
SPEAKER_02: But me being me, I have to find a handcrafted, locally made dishware set that of a course is like a million dollars.
7:31
SPEAKER_02: And my husband Paul is like, Gabby, we could get the same plate at IKEA.
7:36
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, no, this was handcrafted by someone on the spin wheel and it's from Kansas City.
7:42
SPEAKER_02: And so, do I just get the$20 asked for the$20 like IKEA dishware set?
7:48
SPEAKER_02: But like that feels like I'm raging against my true self.
7:52
SPEAKER_02: And then I'm like, I would have to look at them in my cabinet, and it just wouldn't be what I'm really going for.
7:57
SPEAKER_02: And Paul's like, it's a plate, and we eat off of it.
8:00
SPEAKER_02: And so on my list is handcrafted, locally made dishware and mugs, and there's a cute little store in Prairie Village here in Kansas City that sells those, and it is not cheap, but it is on my Christmas list.
8:15
SPEAKER_01: And gosh darn it, it's gonna be worth it when it's sitting in your cupboard all pretty, like yes, and I keep telling myself it's worth the investment.
8:23
SPEAKER_02: And Paul's like, No, and he's like, What about our kids?
8:25
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, Oh, they'll eat off plastic, like that's fine, it's completely fine.
8:29
SPEAKER_02: This is all about what it's gonna look like and what I'm gonna feel when I'm eating off my plate.
8:34
SPEAKER_02: I want it to enjoy my meal and it look pretty, and this is gonna help.
8:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Gabby, if you were ever in doubt, I just that's how I do, and like I get so frustrated, and I'm just like, why do I have to be this way?
8:46
SPEAKER_02: Why can't I just do the practical thing?
8:48
SPEAKER_02: We've had people over for dinner, and I'm like, uh, here's some paper because I am like holding out for these this dishware set, and I like look at Paul when I like say it, like, don't let me down.
9:01
SPEAKER_02: Let me down here.
9:04
SPEAKER_01: So we'll see.
9:05
SPEAKER_01: We will see.
9:07
SPEAKER_01: Can Paul pick up some extra hours?
9:09
SPEAKER_01: That's the question.
9:11
SPEAKER_01: Or what can he sell?
9:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love it.
9:14
SPEAKER_01: This is so great.
9:16
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
9:16
SPEAKER_01: Oh, every single conversation.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I am so glad I did this.
9:21
SPEAKER_01: This was great.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: All right, on the flip side, when it's your responsibility to do the gift buying, what is stressful or frustrating about it?
9:32
SPEAKER_02: So the same thing, you know, we have two kids, Eloise is four and Ellis is two.
9:37
SPEAKER_02: And so we really try to be intentional about what we're giving, not just buying gifts just to like fill up space in our house.
9:46
SPEAKER_02: And so we've really tried to stick to like buying something that they need, something they want, and something they can read, um, which is completely fine.
9:54
SPEAKER_02: That's not stressful, but it's filling, okay, what are those things?
9:58
SPEAKER_02: Each of them want a bike, and the same thing with my dishware set, like, yeah, I just go to Walmart and get a bike.
10:04
SPEAKER_02: And Eloise would love like a frozen, you know, animated anything kind of bike.
10:10
SPEAKER_02: And I cannot do it.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: And so I have been spending hours trying to find the most unique bike for my kids.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: And Paul's just like, Gabby, you know, like Walmart and Target has bikes, like we can just go and buy, and I'm like, it's not beautiful, it's not unique, and so I really do struggle with where's the line of like, okay, here's a bike, and it doesn't actually really matter um to them because they're gonna love it no matter what, and not injecting my myself into a gift somebody else wants.
10:43
SPEAKER_02: And so, same with Paul, if he'll ask for like a coffee, like he's really into coffee.
10:50
SPEAKER_02: I scour for hours the internet for the most like handcrafted, unique thing, and really like he doesn't care, it's just me putting myself into somebody else's want and making it way more complicated than it needs to be.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: And so I literally was driving myself nuts the other night, and I was like, I can't find a bike that doesn't cost like five million dollars.
11:12
SPEAKER_02: Please, my aesthetic and the uniqueness, and Paul's just like, really, she can just take a pink bike with like Elsa and Anna on it.
11:22
SPEAKER_02: Um she would love it.
11:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, last year, you know, like magnetiles.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: Kids love magnetiles.
11:28
SPEAKER_02: I love magnetiles, but you know, and the ones at the store are like the bright colors and eye and plastic, and so I spent hours last year looking for wooden magnetiles that were just plain wood, very neutral, to fit the aesthetic of my home and what I like.
11:47
SPEAKER_02: They would have just loved the colorful magnetiles, and I wouldn't have been stressed out.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: For me, is not putting my I hate to say selfishness of a four or ego of a four or the need to be unique or different or stand out of like that's so different, and needing that to be shown in somebody else's gift.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: I spend a lot of hours stressing out over that.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that would be hard because it's a great bent because as a four, I do know that my four friends are amazing gift givers because they see things that others don't.
12:24
SPEAKER_01: And those four friends in my life, they see something in me or give something that reflects the uniqueness of the connection that we have, and I love that.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: But I imagine that simultaneously that would be a really big burden.
12:40
SPEAKER_02: Yes, it is very difficult for me to just lay that down because it feels like it's who I am and that I'm compromising.
12:48
SPEAKER_02: That in a gift does matter to me, but I have to realize for my Enneagram 7 husband, it doesn't matter.
12:55
SPEAKER_02: He just wants it to be fun and exciting and sparkly, you know, like he just doesn't care.
13:01
SPEAKER_02: But then if I feel like I make that compromise, I feel like I'm not being authentic or true to what matters to me.
13:09
SPEAKER_02: So it is like this of letting go and laying down that pool.
13:15
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
13:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, knowing when to make that effort, when it's really gonna matter, and when to just maybe ease on it a little bit.
13:22
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
13:23
SPEAKER_01: And maybe the Anna Elsa bike.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, especially with my kids with their age, like they're four and three, they're not gonna remember like a handcrafted baby crib from Paris.
13:35
SPEAKER_02: I did that last year, and my child doesn't play with it, like she plays with the plastic, colorful, ugly thing.
13:42
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I found this baby crib from Paris for you, and you don't want to play with it.
13:47
SPEAKER_02: Or same with like a baby doll.
13:49
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's just what matters and what doesn't, and for that age, or what's gonna matter in that gift.
13:54
SPEAKER_02: So different learning.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: You are learning.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I can't wait to see where you land and the pictures of delight in your children.
14:01
SPEAKER_01: I have no doubt it'll be good.
14:05
SPEAKER_01: Okay, what on the happier side do you love about the gift buying process?
14:12
SPEAKER_02: What I just said is actually also kind of what I do love, is because I'm thinking it seems selfish because I'm thinking of what I would like in the gift, but I'm trying to make it so special for the person.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: I love making people feel known and seen, or that I listen to them throughout our friendship or relationship.
14:32
SPEAKER_02: And I took the time to scour the internet to find something so handcrafted and unique.
14:37
SPEAKER_02: And so while I also it dries it stresses me out sometimes, and I have to learn that tension, it's also kind of when I do it not in a crazy manner.
14:48
SPEAKER_02: Like if someone loves a certain candle, it's like, okay, let me find like really unique to them or uniquely made or locally made or you know, to make it feel like I've put extra thought into it.
15:02
SPEAKER_02: But I just like people feeling known and seen.
15:05
SPEAKER_02: I don't like being asked, like, what do you want for Christmas?
15:08
SPEAKER_02: I just want you to know.
15:10
SPEAKER_02: And so because you've been listening to me throughout the year, or you know, if Paul says things in conversation, I'll just like put it in a note on my phone so I can remember.
15:23
SPEAKER_02: And I love like giving sentimental gifts to people that have.
15:43
SPEAKER_02: Anything that I can like express how much someone means or like emotions and feelings to somebody, or express that through a gift.
15:52
SPEAKER_02: I really love doing that.
15:53
SPEAKER_02: And like giving gifts are my favorite thing.
15:55
SPEAKER_02: I think it's because I like to make people feel seen and known in a very unique, special way, and where they're like, Oh, how'd you know I even like wanted that?
16:04
SPEAKER_02: Or hey, I mentioned that like a really long time ago.
16:08
SPEAKER_01: It's a superpower for sure.
16:10
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
16:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm only sorry it adds stress sometimes.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: Uh okay, well, one more little bonus question I'm having fun asking everybody is do you know your love language and what is it?
16:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I do.
16:25
SPEAKER_02: Uh, very early on in our marriage, Paul and I went through that book, and much to his demise, my love language is quality time.
16:33
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
16:33
SPEAKER_02: Real quality time, not like we're in the same room together.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: This is quality time, like face-to-face, hard, deep conversations.
16:43
SPEAKER_02: And they don't have to be hard, just deep.
16:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, just deep conversation.
16:46
SPEAKER_02: Authentic, yes, authentic conversation where I feel like we moved closer together in depth and knowing each other.
16:56
SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, quality time is my love language.
16:58
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: Uh, this is so fun.
17:01
SPEAKER_01: I thank you for your perspective and being willing to share and give your time.
17:05
SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be priceless for a lot of people.
17:07
SPEAKER_01: I think they're gonna really appreciate getting to kind of get inside your head.
17:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
17:13
SPEAKER_02: So happy to do it.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: And Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, Rachel.
17:20
SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad you're here.
17:21
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: Yay! It's Christmas time.
17:26
SPEAKER_03: I'm so looking forward to it.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: Uh, me too.
17:29
SPEAKER_01: We really need lots of excuses to celebrate and you know, indulge a little bit.
17:35
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
17:36
SPEAKER_01: It's 2020, it's been a year, and I think it's time.
17:40
SPEAKER_01: It's been a year and a half.
17:41
SPEAKER_01: Yes, exactly.
17:43
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
17:45
SPEAKER_01: Well, I've invited you because you lead as a as a let's see here.
17:50
SPEAKER_03: Um, my husband is an executive pastor at a church that we moved to help start launch, and I'm on the team serve there at the church, and um have three kids, and I work at a hospital, and I am been doing some teaching at a grad program, and that's just who I am.
18:09
SPEAKER_03: I kind of like to have a lot of playgrounds, so yeah.
18:12
SPEAKER_01: Uh yes, because you are an Enneagram three, this all makes sense.
18:20
SPEAKER_01: Uh and you have three precious kids.
18:23
SPEAKER_01: So Christmas is a full season because life and these roles and leadership and all of that, it doesn't go on pause.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: In fact, some of it amps up a little bit.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: So we thought it would be fun to invite all of my friends to come out and share about Christmas from their perspective as each unique Enneagram type, because there are some trends here.
18:44
SPEAKER_01: A couple of years ago, I created this Enneagram gift guide, and it has proven to be very, very handy for myself and my friends, and it's continued to be proved again and again, which I think is so fun.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: So let's dive in.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: I want to hear what is on your Christmas lists this year.
19:04
SPEAKER_03: I want to say on my Christmas list should probably be athletic wear because I should be, you know, exercising and doing all of these things, especially with my Indian gram three.
19:15
SPEAKER_03: Like I need to, you know, I have to go.
19:18
SPEAKER_03: Um, but really, I think I really would like some new lounge wear because I don't want to do anything over the winter season.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: I'm kind of like, let's just we're going over to that nine, that line of stress a little bit feels familiar.
19:33
SPEAKER_03: 100%.
19:34
SPEAKER_03: Like, let's just dial it back and let's just get some comfy pants, yeah.
19:41
SPEAKER_03: Love it.
19:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think so that too.
19:42
SPEAKER_03: Oh, and then home decor.
19:43
SPEAKER_03: I'm a sucker for home decor.
19:45
SPEAKER_03: I don't know why I don't always buy like tons of new stuff, but I don't know.
19:49
SPEAKER_03: When I see something, I'm like, I just that needs to be well.
19:54
SPEAKER_01: You've done an amazing job because I have been in your different homes through the years here as you've moved around in Kansas City and they are gorgeous.
20:02
SPEAKER_01: And I have thought, ooh, who did Rachel hire?
20:05
SPEAKER_01: And now I know she does that too, and you need to come to my house.
20:10
SPEAKER_03: I only buy what I like.
20:11
SPEAKER_03: If I do not like it, I'm like, I am not bad.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: Forget it.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: This is good.
20:15
SPEAKER_01: This is good insight.
20:16
SPEAKER_01: So, what are the things about Christmas gift buying that are frustrating to you that are just like uh kind of dread it, makes it more difficult than it needs to be.
20:26
SPEAKER_03: Access your Enneagram gift guides.
20:29
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely, it's yours.
20:30
SPEAKER_03: Because I know so many people in my life, like I know they think their type is or what they're telling me their type is.
20:36
SPEAKER_03: Right.
20:36
SPEAKER_03: And so I think that would be really helpful, but not ever knowing honestly what to buy my husband because is really frustrating.
20:43
SPEAKER_03: Because men are hard to buy for because they only have expensive hobbies, usually for these obscure hobbies.
20:51
SPEAKER_03: Like if you really I don't know what that is, you know what I mean?
20:55
SPEAKER_03: Like, but they know what a throw pillow is, and so they can buy that.
21:00
SPEAKER_03: Yes, but it's really obscure, so that gets a little bit frustrating.
21:05
SPEAKER_03: Um, but really also too, I think I always just want to get something for someone that they really, really love, like that is meaningful to them, or else I just consider it like a waste, like, but then I wind up turning into like a gift card buying person, which is because I can never figure it out.
21:22
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, yeah, yeah.
21:24
SPEAKER_01: That's well, and the gift card kind of would help you.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: Well, it they surely can find something that they really want.
21:31
SPEAKER_01: I know for type threes often to this pull to be the best.
21:35
SPEAKER_01: And so I would imagine as the gift giver, especially say your husband, if you don't feel like you can give him the best gift, right?
21:43
SPEAKER_03: That's what they do.
21:44
SPEAKER_03: Even if I cook, I'm like, he's like, Oh, it was good.
21:46
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, but was it really good?
21:48
SPEAKER_03: Was it really good?
21:49
SPEAKER_03: Do you like it?
21:49
SPEAKER_03: Do you like it again that we would make it again?
21:51
SPEAKER_03: And he's just like, I'm just trying to answer the question dinner was good.
21:55
SPEAKER_03: Now let's get on with our life.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
21:57
SPEAKER_01: Please don't make this a bigger deal than it needs to be.
22:00
SPEAKER_03: I do the same thing with with dips.
22:02
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, do you really like it?
22:03
SPEAKER_03: Do you not like the color of the boots I got you?
22:04
SPEAKER_03: Would you like a lighter shade of brown?
22:06
SPEAKER_01: And it's just that's awesome.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: Uh I love it.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: I love how each of these conversations are so fitting and it makes so much sense.
22:16
SPEAKER_01: What about the Christmas gift buying and giving process do you enjoy?
22:22
SPEAKER_03: Well, I definitely think I love making a list, making a great plan.
22:29
SPEAKER_03: I make like these idealistic plans on what I should maybe try to get each person, which doesn't really always fit in your budget.
22:36
SPEAKER_03: It's not like I'm going to get my sister like the new living room rug that she really wants or whatnot.
22:42
SPEAKER_03: I do not am not made of money, unfortunately.
22:48
SPEAKER_03: I love just kind of making a list, even just for gift buying or what things I'm going to bring to different, you know, hosting events that other people host or whatnot, and just feeling like I get it all done ahead of time.
23:02
SPEAKER_03: And so then I can enjoy honestly time with my kids and to have that really quality time because I want to do all of these things.
23:11
SPEAKER_03: And I've just realized the older they get, how fast it is, and how all the little memories, even of just going to look at Christmas lights and their PJs and drinking hot cocoa, like that's one of our little traditions that seems really so simple to me.
23:24
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I'm not going on some major expedition, but to them, um, it's so huge.
23:28
SPEAKER_03: And so I like to shop early.
23:30
SPEAKER_03: I love that part.
23:30
SPEAKER_03: I love checking things off my list, trying to make a plan and just get it done.
23:35
SPEAKER_03: But at the cause of for December, I want December to be like experience time.
23:41
SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: Are you really good about like November?
23:45
SPEAKER_01: You kind of set your sights on, knocking out most of the list.
23:48
SPEAKER_03: Of course, you know, we've got spreadsheets and budgets of documents, no idea.
23:54
SPEAKER_03: And so um, no, I November, our November budget every year is just the one where I I buy the gifts.
24:00
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
24:01
SPEAKER_03: In December, we do the things.
24:03
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
24:04
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
24:05
SPEAKER_01: That's a great piece of advice.
24:06
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I should, because three of us have birthdays the same week of Christmas.
24:12
SPEAKER_01: Right.
24:12
SPEAKER_01: So I do make the budget and I do make the plan, but as an Enneagram 7, sometimes I need a little bit more accountability and to look at you and go, okay, that's the bar.
24:25
SPEAKER_01: That's the bar that I need.
24:27
SPEAKER_03: No, it does not have to be.
24:29
SPEAKER_03: I need to like channel your Enneagram 7 for the month of December.
24:33
SPEAKER_03: Because I'm like, oh, this is as creative as it gets with Rachel.
24:36
SPEAKER_03: We're going to look at other people's lights.
24:38
SPEAKER_03: Are we going to work out?
24:40
SPEAKER_03: No, but we need to look at other people's.
24:43
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
24:44
SPEAKER_01: No, it's great.
24:45
SPEAKER_01: Experience all the way, man.
24:46
SPEAKER_01: Those are the things that count, making those memories.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: I think it's beautiful.
24:50
SPEAKER_01: I think you have your priorities right in line.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: It's awesome.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: Okay, the bonus question for today that I think is kind of fun to, it's kind of a food for thought, actually.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: But I love to know what your love language is as you know, it relates to the five love languages.
25:05
SPEAKER_03: So this is an easy one for me.
25:07
SPEAKER_03: What's interesting is when your spouse thinks you're something different, and then as you grow in marriage and you start to like realize what that is.
25:12
SPEAKER_03: And so that's always an amazing thing.
25:15
SPEAKER_03: When we were first married, of course, we went through that material, and then we were, I think we were hoping that we were a different thing.
25:21
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
25:22
SPEAKER_03: A different love language, I mean, but my love language for sure is acts of service because I just I just love it.
25:30
SPEAKER_03: My husband uh just painted the laundry room and did some little drywall patches in there and hung some new hooks, all this stuff.
25:37
SPEAKER_03: Like I got on the core thing.
25:40
SPEAKER_03: I was like, wow, and then you're like, let's renew our vows.
25:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm like, I he literally started laughing at me because I was like, I love it.
25:49
SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much.
25:51
SPEAKER_03: And he was just laughing, like, wow, okay, that's great, you know, because it was totally that moment, and that was just a couple weeks ago, but a hundred percent.
26:00
SPEAKER_03: I don't need you to tell me I'm awesome, I don't care.
26:03
SPEAKER_03: I just am like, go, go, go, let's just move on.
26:05
SPEAKER_03: But what are we gonna get done?
26:07
SPEAKER_03: And that makes me just feel so much love.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is great.
26:12
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
26:13
SPEAKER_01: So maybe throw some, you know, Nathan, throw some access service coupons about what you're gonna do for the Rachel.
26:20
SPEAKER_03: Yes, and my birthday he got me um some hanging lights for the patio, you know.
26:25
SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, oh that's great.
26:27
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's amazing.
26:28
SPEAKER_03: But when he hung them up and like installed the whole thing, that is when I was like, yes, this is the best gift.
26:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, winner.
26:38
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
26:39
SPEAKER_01: This is great.
26:40
SPEAKER_01: Uh, Rachel, thank you for coming on here, Sharon.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: Just your perspective on it.
26:44
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
26:45
SPEAKER_01: I think it's much fun.
26:46
SPEAKER_03: I love you and please raise my children.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: You're doing a great job, Rachel.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: Of course.
26:53
SPEAKER_03: Share all of the fun things I'll be sure to follow along, but other people say too.
27:03
SPEAKER_01: Merry Christmas.
27:05
SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to have you here to represent the Enneagram Twos.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's such an honor.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: And I feel I'm like all day, am I qualified enough to be speaking on behalf of twos?
27:20
SPEAKER_01: Yes, you and I have gotten to share lots of time talking about the Enneagram and life in general, and you're definitely qualified.
27:30
SPEAKER_01: Well, first of all, give us a little insight for representation for the Enneagram Twos by telling us what is on your Christmas wish list this year.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: It's been a weird year, so I've been trying to think what would I like to receive this year, kind of at the end of an up and down year for everyone and for me.
27:50
SPEAKER_00: I think I asked for this for my birthday, and I think I'll keep asking for it because it was my favorite.
27:56
SPEAKER_00: But I really think that quality time spent with loved ones is like highest priority for me.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: And that can be as simple as doing something that I always do with my mom, or my dad and I love this restaurant, so we go there.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: Just quality time with the people I love, or thoughtful presence.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, I noticed you mentioned this two months ago, and I wrote it down, and here it is.
28:21
SPEAKER_00: Or someone will ask me, Hey, what do you need?
28:24
SPEAKER_00: and I'll get it for you.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: And so the shoes I'm wearing right now, my brother got me two Christmases ago, and every time I put them on, I think of him, but they're like practical and functional too.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: So any of those myriad of things would be great.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
28:40
SPEAKER_01: No, that makes total sense.
28:42
SPEAKER_01: So much thoughtfulness behind it.
28:44
SPEAKER_01: I think the twos and the fours take the cake on the thoughtfulness aspect when it comes to gift giving.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: You know, it makes sense that you would kind of want some of the same thing towards you.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: That's great.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: That's great.
28:58
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
28:58
SPEAKER_01: On the flip side, what stresses you out about gift giving?
29:03
SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, this is a skill I'm always trying to be better at, but I think the pressure of just getting it right.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: I want someone who can receive the gift and be like, oh, I this is really thoughtful, and I would love to use this, and they're not just gonna put it aside, but I think the pressure of that is the hardest part.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: And then making sure it's genuine and coming from like an intentional place, I think is important, which also adds to the pressure.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: That's so true.
29:30
SPEAKER_01: That is a real struggle.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: But I think you type twos are really great, you just go above and beyond, but that can be a blessing and a curse because it's kind of a heavy weight to carry.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
29:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you get it.
29:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I do, I do.
29:45
SPEAKER_01: Now, on the other side, what do you love about the gift giving process?
29:51
SPEAKER_00: I love it because in a small way it's kind of like a reevaluation of all your friendships and people close to you and your family.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: And you get to think about someone throughout the day and get to go to shops or browse online and get to see, okay, who does this remind me of?
30:09
SPEAKER_00: Who am I excited to give this to?
30:11
SPEAKER_00: I mean, even thinking about it, I'm smiling because I love doing that.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just reminiscing and kind of thinking about people's roles in our lives is really special.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: So I love that part.
30:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's good.
30:23
SPEAKER_01: I never thought about it that way, but it's true.
30:25
SPEAKER_01: You're kind of doing a, I don't know, kind of an internal intake of, you know, where is this friendship at and how can I express it?
30:33
SPEAKER_01: And where are we at in this, you know, this time of year?
30:37
SPEAKER_01: That's good.
30:38
SPEAKER_01: I like that.
30:39
SPEAKER_01: I never even thought about that before.
30:41
SPEAKER_01: Oh, the things I learn.
30:43
SPEAKER_01: That's why I love doing this.
30:46
SPEAKER_01: Okay, I don't think this is gonna be a super big surprise for those of us who are listening, or at least I don't think it's gonna be.
30:52
SPEAKER_01: But what's your love language then?
30:55
SPEAKER_00: So it is quality time.
30:56
SPEAKER_00: I've tried to fight it for years because I feel like everyone loves quality time.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: Um, I think we love things.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: I think to me, this is funny because you mentioned it before, but I have always said it doesn't matter how you show it, but I think it's thoughtfulness for me.
31:13
SPEAKER_00: So it's like it can be acts of service, but if it's thoughtful, then that to me is like wow, better than like a handwritten note that's not thoughtful.
31:22
SPEAKER_00: So I think bottom line, it's thoughtfulness for me.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: I of course love connection time, quality time with people, but if there's any hint or trace of thoughtfulness, I'm like, I'm done.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: I feel loved.
31:35
SPEAKER_01: You have me.
31:37
unknown: Exactly.
31:38
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's so great.
31:40
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
31:41
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you for your thoughtfulness and taking time to answer these questions and represent.
31:46
SPEAKER_01: And I think you did a fabulous job.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh, thanks, Amy.
31:53
SPEAKER_01: Eunice, you and I are new friends thanks to the gram, really, right?
31:58
SPEAKER_01: I think that's how we met was through Instagram.
32:00
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I think that is.
32:02
SPEAKER_04: Thank you so much for having me on your podcast today.
32:05
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
32:06
SPEAKER_01: I am excited to drill in a little deeper to know what's going inside your beautiful mind as a type one and as it relates to Christmas.
32:16
SPEAKER_01: So awesome.
32:17
SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
32:18
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
32:19
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so the first question is what is on your Christmas wish list?
32:25
SPEAKER_04: Okay, this might make you laugh, but I usually ask for um Target or Hobby Lobby gift cards or cash.
32:34
SPEAKER_04: And the reason why is because one, I love shopping, but also I can buy exactly what I want.
32:42
SPEAKER_04: And I hate clutter.
32:44
SPEAKER_04: So if someone buys me something that I don't really like, it kind of stresses me out to think about like how much they spend.
32:51
SPEAKER_04: Um, just because I I don't like wasting.
32:54
SPEAKER_04: But then I also like don't like it just like sitting in like a random corner of my house collecting dust either.
33:00
SPEAKER_04: So then I feel guilty.
33:02
SPEAKER_04: So it's kind of this like random cycle I have.
33:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's gotta be if someone can't get you the right gift, hey, make it easy for you to get the right thing for yourself, right?
33:15
SPEAKER_04: I guess, yeah.
33:16
SPEAKER_04: That's the thought.
33:18
SPEAKER_04: So I don't know if that's kind of boring, but that's honestly what I love to get.
33:22
SPEAKER_01: That's great.
33:23
SPEAKER_01: I totally get it.
33:24
SPEAKER_01: I know a few Enneagram ones, and I would say, yes, that is definitely a good thing to do for them.
33:31
SPEAKER_05: Oh awesome.
33:33
SPEAKER_01: So the question, the little caveat there, do you have a hard time deciding what to spend it on?
33:39
SPEAKER_04: Usually I have like a running list in my head of like different things I might want.
33:44
SPEAKER_04: Or honestly, I just love going to Target, which is down the street from my house and just walking around and getting steps in.
33:51
SPEAKER_04: So I'll just like wander around Target or I'll do that at Hobby Lobby, and I just like love like looking at the different things that they have.
33:59
SPEAKER_04: I'm not like a huge, like crazy decor person, but I do love like getting little decor for a house or something like that.
34:08
SPEAKER_04: I do kind of have a little list in my head.
34:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
34:12
SPEAKER_01: And it's nice to have money that's sort of burnt in a hole in your pocket and you can spend it or not, just depending on the day.
34:17
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
34:18
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
34:19
SPEAKER_04: I love that.
34:20
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that is super fun.
34:21
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so what about the Christmas buying process that stresses you out?
34:27
SPEAKER_04: This one I wasn't sure because honestly, I love shopping and I loved gift buying.
34:33
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
34:33
SPEAKER_04: And I love all things Christmas.
34:35
SPEAKER_04: I'm kind of like Buddy the elf.
34:39
SPEAKER_04: But something about giving gifts is I love giving people like what they love.
34:43
SPEAKER_04: So I will often gift people like gift cards as well, just because I don't want it collecting clutter in their mouths or, you know, like giving them something that they awkwardly have to like pretend that they love.
34:55
SPEAKER_04: Like I just want them to love what they get.
34:58
SPEAKER_04: So even if I just wrap up a gift card in a cute bag with the card, like I love just giving people little gifts and stuff like that.
35:07
SPEAKER_04: That's awesome.
35:08
SPEAKER_01: That makes total sense.
35:10
SPEAKER_01: That kind of answers both of them, technically.
35:12
SPEAKER_01: So you don't feel really stressed out.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: It's more about if you don't know exactly what to get them, then you get them the gift card, then the options are wide open.
35:21
SPEAKER_01: And it sounds like you are doing great about going to your line of growth there, going to a type seven.
35:26
SPEAKER_01: So kudos to you.
35:28
SPEAKER_01: That's great.
35:29
SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
35:29
SPEAKER_01: Embracing the inner buddy though.
35:33
SPEAKER_04: I think part of why I love Christmas so much is I grew up in an immigrant family.
35:39
SPEAKER_04: And so I think the traditions were just different, I guess, because our Christmas tradition was really just going to church on Christmas.
35:49
SPEAKER_04: And so things like I think in typical, like more typical American Christmases is what I just was fascinated by.
35:57
SPEAKER_04: And I loved, and I think even when I was a kid, I just loved like getting gifts for people, like little practical gifts, and I'd wrap it up and give to them.
36:08
SPEAKER_04: I think that has influenced a lot of my Christmases as well.
36:11
SPEAKER_04: In my childhood, just growing up an immigrant family, and then wanting to still do Christmas traditions for my family, but maybe just in a more practical way, but I still love it, you know?
36:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, that's great.
36:27
SPEAKER_01: So for you, it's really the Christmas celebration has evolved not only like taking how your parents did it, which sounds very simple, but you being able to adopt the practices that you observed in others and maybe didn't get to do as a kid yourself.
36:43
SPEAKER_04: Yes, absolutely.
36:44
SPEAKER_04: And I think that's where like what you said about the seven coming in, like when I am healthy, I just love all things Christmas.
36:51
SPEAKER_04: Like we put up our tree at the end of October this year, like every year.
36:55
SPEAKER_04: It's like getting earlier and earlier and earlier.
37:00
SPEAKER_04: Yes, yeah, and exactly.
37:01
SPEAKER_01: Come on, 2020.
37:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, anything goes, anything goes.
37:04
SPEAKER_04: Yes, absolutely.
37:06
SPEAKER_04: But something I love about Christmas, like we are celebrating the birth of our savior and what a beautiful gift the Lord gave us.
37:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
37:15
SPEAKER_04: And so something that I love in our family, like as a tradition, I guess, is just the idea of generosity, this being a season of just generosity in all ways.
37:26
SPEAKER_04: And so that's what I love celebrating about Christmas is showing the love of Christ through just generosity, even if it's just like a little gift card to a teacher, you know, things like that that I think are really important to just share the love of God.
37:41
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's so important.
37:43
SPEAKER_01: It's an amazing opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus in a tangible physical way, whether he said, you know, cash, a gift card, or something that you think they'll really enjoy.
37:54
SPEAKER_01: It is an expression because our Heavenly Father is the giver of really good gifts.
38:00
SPEAKER_01: And so getting to be like him and love like him is an honor, truly, is really what it boils down to that we get to join in with him and celebrating each other and one another.
38:12
SPEAKER_01: So I love it.
38:13
SPEAKER_01: Beautifully said.
38:14
SPEAKER_04: Oh, amen.
38:15
SPEAKER_04: Thanks.
38:16
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I just I love Christmas.
38:18
SPEAKER_04: Praise God.
38:19
SPEAKER_04: I think this year, especially like you said in 2020, we all need more of just like the Lord's spirit and generosity.
38:27
SPEAKER_01: I agree.
38:28
SPEAKER_01: Couldn't have said it better.
38:29
SPEAKER_01: Well said.
38:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so bonus question today is do you happen to know your love language?
38:36
SPEAKER_04: My love language is actually um my top is quality time, but a very close second, I would say, is gifts, but not just gifts.
38:45
SPEAKER_04: If I could like qualify it a little, it's a helpful gift.
38:49
SPEAKER_04: So my wing is very much a two.
38:52
SPEAKER_04: I think part of that is probably I have five children, so I'm often helping people all the best.
38:59
SPEAKER_04: But I love just helpful gifts.
39:02
SPEAKER_04: Something funny.
39:03
SPEAKER_04: I was thinking about this question and a couple um of years ago.
39:07
SPEAKER_04: I remember we did a mom's group gift exchange where we did like a little secret Santa and we like packed up gifts.
39:14
SPEAKER_04: So a practical gift that I gave that year is I gave a pretty box set of amber-colored liquid handsups.
39:24
SPEAKER_04: Like so the glass is like amber-colored liquid hand-sups.
39:29
SPEAKER_04: So it's like cute, practical, extremely functional.
39:32
SPEAKER_04: And if you hate it, just use it and recycle the bottles.
39:36
SPEAKER_04: Yes, I love it.
39:38
SPEAKER_04: Those are the type of gifts that I love.
39:40
SPEAKER_04: Just like really practical, helpful gifts.
39:42
SPEAKER_04: Like because like something like that is like maybe you wouldn't splurge to get that for yourself because it is a couple dollars more than like the average like soap.
39:52
SPEAKER_04: But then it's also just like super cute and fun.
39:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that it makes so much sense to me.
39:58
SPEAKER_01: So my mom is an Enneagram one.
40:00
SPEAKER_01: Shout out to her.
40:01
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, she's been known to ask for vacuums and tea towels and things around the house that kitchen utensils.
40:09
SPEAKER_01: And I used to, as a kid, like, oh no, is that what I have to look forward to?
40:14
SPEAKER_01: Is to be to be a mom and ask for those things.
40:18
SPEAKER_01: And now I know it's a personality thing, so I have no fear.
40:23
SPEAKER_04: That's hilarious.
40:24
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's funny.
40:26
SPEAKER_04: The funny thing is, actually, at that gift exchange, it got passed around a few times.
40:30
SPEAKER_04: Hey, there you go.
40:31
SPEAKER_04: You're not gonna be stolen or whatever.
40:33
SPEAKER_04: Yep.
40:35
SPEAKER_04: Maybe because it's a mom's group.
40:38
SPEAKER_01: That too, that too.
40:39
SPEAKER_01: As moms know, a good hand soap bottle can go a long way.
40:46
SPEAKER_01: Uh, Eunice, I have loved this.
40:48
SPEAKER_01: This has been awesome.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: And I think that a lot of type ones are gonna go, me too, and those of us who love a type one are gonna really appreciate.
40:59
SPEAKER_01: Okay, if they ask for practical, that's what they really want.
41:04
SPEAKER_04: Thank you so much, Amy.
41:06
SPEAKER_04: It's been fun being on.
41:11
SPEAKER_01: Well, I hope you've had as much fun as we did in recording these conversations.
41:17
SPEAKER_01: I really found that each one provided more insight to every single type.
41:21
SPEAKER_01: I would love to hear from you what you learned about your type and maybe about the types on your gift buying list.
41:29
SPEAKER_01: Be sure and join the conversation at Simply Wholehearted on Instagram to see my gift giving series and to be able to share it easily with your friends and family.
41:39
SPEAKER_01: Also, would you take a quick minute to rate and review this podcast?
41:43
SPEAKER_01: I promise every single review means so much to me, and it truly helps get this podcast out so others can be encouraged in their wholehearted journey.
41:53
SPEAKER_01: Join me next week as we continue to pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for your wholehearted advent season.