Latest / DA CREW Podcast / SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST_EPISODE _40 _ HOST NATALIE HARVEY

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SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST_EPISODE _40 _ HOST NATALIE HARVEY · DA CREW Podcast

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A person all things and what they used to be? Where in all the
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blue Sky's boot boys the Blues from the North Side of Things, who persons,
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all things and what they used to be? No. Aspiring Authors Magazine
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allow your voice to be heard around the world. Aspiring Authors Magazine is an
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Wings of Transformation Publishing. We are committed to helping our authors reach their goals
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and pursue their dreams of becoming published authors. We work closely with each author
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to ensure a successful publishing experience, and we are dedicated to helping them tell
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their stories in the most meaningful and impactful ways. We look forward to putting
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you on the path to writing your book. Hello. Hello, Hello,
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Hello, and welcome to The Crew Podcast. I am the visionary Queen Angela
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and welcome to season two. I want to thank you for tuning in and
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for all of your support throughout season one. We're back Demdvas of the Airways,
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so thank you for joining us tonight. Share this with someone in your
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circle. I have been reading a loud journals, checking to see where my
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head is been. And I had been a pie of giants into some big
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over some bridges. I need that to manage. Hello and good evening,
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and welcome to another edition of Let's Chat with nat Hey Latania. I am
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your host, Natalie Harvey, and tonight we're here. You know, we
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love to have the conversation. We love to talk. We just like to
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talk about things that go on in everyday life. I'm a little, a
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little not out of it, but I'm a little horse, as you can
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hear tonight. But we're here. We're gonna do it. We're gonna rock
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out and we're gonna have a good show tonight. Well, tonight's topic is
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something that I have personally dealt with, and it's the topic of blended families.
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If you notice nowadays you see more blended families than you do families,
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or you just as equal amount of blended families to families that are same mother's,
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same father. For me, this is something that I've experienced in my
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own family. I come from a blended family. It's ironic that I come
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My generation is a blended family. My parents' generation is a blended family and
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their parents' generations are also blended families. And it's just funny how when you
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do come from a blended family, how you have different personalities, different traits,
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different things that might be done in one household that's not done in the
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other household. And then when you come together, you have to find a
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way to have them all mesh together, or sometimes they don't mesh together.
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But it's just ironic how more and more in our society, blended families are
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the norm, you know. Like again, like I said, for me,
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I come from a blanded family. I'm the oldest of three girls.
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You know, we have same dads, but different moms, different mothers.
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But it's ironic how some characteristics we have that are the same, some that
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are definitely not the same, And it's some that you have to meet in
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the middle with And it kind of goes back for me when I think back
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at that, I look at how my parents and their blended family situation,
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you know, how that kind of played into our upbringing. Sometimes when you
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come from a blended family, you don't realize that. For instance, my
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uncle, my uncle is my grandmother's oldest child. He's not my dad,
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My grandfather's son, but he still called my grandfather dad, right China.
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It's so ironic, Like for me, my grandfather and everybody knows I have,
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well, one grandfather is deceased, the other one is in Florida,
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and that's my rid that's my right right there, but nobody growing up,
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a lot of people didn't know that he was not my biological grandfather, you
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know, because again the way how the family blended together, there was no
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need to say, well, she's not my biological grandchild, or he's not
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my biological grandfather. It was that's my granddaughter, that's my grandfather. And
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it's funny that as I was raised with him, even from a child to
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now an adult forty two going on forty three years, there's so much of
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the characteristics of him that I have some that his biological grandchildren some of them
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have it, but I think I tend to more have it because I was
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raised more with them than the other said that grandkids. And it's just so
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ironic, how you know, when we go to the schools, children have
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like some children have different last names, some have the same last names.
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For instance, my kids, my oldest son, he has a hyphenated last
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name again, he comes from a blended family situation. So there's my younger
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son. And it's just like when you go to the schools or when you
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interact with other parents and then you sit down and you compare notes and you
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talk, and you see that more and more in this world, in this
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generation, in this time that we're living in, blended families are becoming the
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norm. See it's so I'm gonna tell you guys a little story in regards
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to like what you're saying the time. My actual biological grandfather, which is
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my father's father, I met him one time and I think I was about
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eleven or twelve, somewhere in that age range. And when I met him,
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all I had to do was look at him and look at me,
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and I guess we look just alike. And I never got to meet him
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again. But then I found that, like, there were other because I
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always thought growing up not so much that I thought I knew my dad had
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one older brother, but I didn't know he had so many other siblings.
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And as I grew older, when matter of fact, when I had my
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first body cancer is when I really found out. Okay, I have an
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aunt in London that I look so much like I look so much like her.
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And then I have other uncles that I got to meet, and I'm
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like, oh wow, this is so interesting how we are intertwining, heybred
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trees, How everybody is just intertwined with each other, and you sometimes you
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never know. Sometimes you like Latanya, like you said, you don't find
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out until you're in your teens. I'm grateful for me that I was able
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to find out early in life and was able to say, Okay, I
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understand this part. So this this person is here, and this person is
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there, and then they all come together at some point and it's like,
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you know what, regardless as to what, we are all one family,
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we all come from, we all, we all come together to make one
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family. Is it tough to have a blended family. Absolutely, it is
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absolutely tough, because there are times where one parent may not get along with
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the other parent, or one sibling may not like what the other sibling has
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to say, and then God forbid, something happens and a sibling a parent
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pass away. Then you have this and you have that. It's so much
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that goes into how the dynamic of a blended family comes together. You know,
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I look, I always have to go back to how my grandparents,
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how they just brought everybody together, even if it was a child that was
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for somebody else, they'll bring them all in and we just all came together
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as one. For me, I think, I don't think I could have
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seen myself just growing up with in a one parent household or just it just
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I guess because I'm so used to it. It's just the norm for me.
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And I look at my sons, it has now become the norm for
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them, even with their siblings. It's it's so the dynamic is so interesting
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because they'll call and they'll talk to their siblings from their other side, and
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then they'll say, where's mommy And they'll call me mommy and they'll say,
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let me talk to And I'm like, okay, I get it, I
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understand it. I welcome it. You know. So when you show love,
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when you show that respect, you're able to break down any barriers that
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come with all of that extra chatter and that extra bickering. It's not necessary.
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It defeats the purpose. Nobody wins, nobody succeeds. When you have
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all of this chaos and chaotic behavior in families. It does not work.
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It just does not bring any kind of order. It does not bring any
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kind of peace. You know, at some point you have to say,
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regardless as to what my difference is with you, I have to we have
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to come together as one. We have to show a united front. Is
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it always easy to show a united front? Absolutely? I will be first
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to admit sometimes yes, families keep a lot of secrets. And you know,
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it's hard because as we now get older, we and I know for
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myself, as I'm now in this mid forty age range and I start to
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find out more things about the family dynamic. It's interesting because it's so vital
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to know your family history, and it's so vital to know where you come
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from. If you don't know these things, something and I get it,
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certain things may happen that they just want to keep it a secret. And
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trust me, the elders, especially the elders that I've been around, they
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will take certain things to their grave and they have. But is it always
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good? Is it always right? No? Because there are things sometimes that
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needs to be said in the family and that can break generational curses, that
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can break the toxicity that sometimes comes in where because this person may have been
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the older one, or this person may be this parent's favorite. They don't
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like this, and then that's when the chaos come in. That's when the
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families now because you know, I may be from a different parent, or
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I may be from a different this it causes a lot of tension and unnecessary
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strife in families. You know. I think back to when my grandmother passed,
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and it's actually coming up this week to the anniversary of her death.
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While on Tuesday, even with her, she did not treat I have an
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older my mom has an older sister. And when you saw my aunt,
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you wouldn't think that she had a different mom because my grandmother treated her the
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same way she treated her blood children. Again, how my grandfather my uncle
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would call my grandfather dad, My aunt would call my grandmother my mom.
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And they were like that until my grandmother paths and nobody knew the difference unless
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you you know, you were there from the beginning and whatever, you knew
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that that wasn't her biological child, but coming up, you would never know.
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It took me again as a child to find out, oh wait,
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Auntie is not my grandmother's child. But if you look at her, if
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you see how she acts, how she treats my grandmother, how my grandmother
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treats her. You can't tell her any different that that's not her mother.
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So sometimes we yes exactly Black Diamond exactly. And I was just about to
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say that it starts from it, it started, and it goes back from
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there. We are all one family. We all come from Adam and Eve.
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It all starts from there. It all goes back to their exactly Latania,
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My my sons, both of my sons, they have siblings from their
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dads and their siblings. If they see me anywhere, if they're on the
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phone, they're gonna say, where's mom Where? And I I don't tell
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them not to call me mom. I say, I treat them all as
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if they're mine. They definitely take it to the grid. I've there's so
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much like family history that goes when al leaves that you need to know,
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but you can't get the answers because the answers are gone once if you don't
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sit down. And I love to do this every time I am with my
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grandmother that is alive still, every time I'm with her, I try to
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get some kind of information from her based off of what she could remember,
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what she knows because it's helpful to me. You know, again, I
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remember when I first got diagnosed when not with non hoskins in foma, I
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never knew that it actually ran in the family. And I didn't know that
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I had a family member in another country that was going through the same thing
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that I was going through. I didn't know that my great grandfather had leukemia,
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which is just the same thing as non Hoskins infoma. It's so much
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stuff that is taken to the grade that sometimes I think it doesn't injustice to
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us, because we need to know who we are. You know, we
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need to at some point, we need to be able to uncover the stories
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of who we are. Having a blended family, you have you have more
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than one story that's going on. You may have three or four stories that's
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going on at the same time. But it's your family history, it's who
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you are, it's how you come together as one. I love the dynamic.
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I do love the dynamic dynamic of a blended family. Do I think
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it out? Do I think that a blended family is not as important as
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a how would I put this? A same family where you have same mother,
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same father, It it's just as important It doesn't matter whether you come
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from the same household, you have the same parents, or you have different
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parents. We are all one. We have to understand that family is family.
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We have to understand that we're not going to like everything that someone does.
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I had to learn that. I'm still learning that, even with my
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own siblings, I'm still learning that. Wow, oh wow, wile Latania
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see, this is why we need to I'm a really strong advocate for retracing
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your roots and understanding who you are and learning who you are because there's so
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many things that you may not understand about you and you never know. There
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may be somebody in your family that felt the same things that you felt,
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or we're interested in the same things that you were, but you would never
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know because somebody probably never took the time or did not want to tell the
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story, or maybe felt that that it was a shame. It's so much
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that we have to unpack as human beings that we're not allowed to sometimes,
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or we don't give ourselves the permission to unpack who we really are. When
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you get to sit down and meditate and unpack and understand that, Okay,
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I'm this way, but why is everybody else like this or why is it
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that I'm more into understanding my roots or understanding different things, and everybody else
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is just like, ah, whatever, whatever. There may be somebody in
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the family that was just like that. I've dealt with that with me,
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you know, I've heard different stories about different family members and then I would
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sit down and be like, well, wait, I think the same way,
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or that's something that I also realize in myself that I do. But
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because we don't take the time to talk about these hidden jewels as I like
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to call them, or hidden stories that nobody really takes the time to tell,
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we'll never know, we'll never get to find out, we'll never understand
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sometimes ourselves in the way that we need to understand ourselves, because it's just
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it's just something that's never told. It's just something that again you take it
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to your grave and you just let it rock out like that. But I'm
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about to wind down, but as I said, and I'm gonna continue with
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blended families again because I'm gonna bring somebody on to talk about blended families with
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me as well. Learning about my paternal side from two of my cousins,
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we've had why see that again, talking about family history helps you understand who
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you are, and it gives you that sense. It gives you a sense
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of identity that you sometimes don't realize you want and you crave and you want
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to know who you are. For instance, I'm gonna say this and I'm
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gonna wrap up. I am a person that dreams. I guess you'll call
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me a dreamer or whatever, but I'm a person that I'm in tune to.
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I love anything about history and understanding, like the spirituality of us as
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a people, or understanding you know, our culture and you know when there's
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African dance and stuff like that. And I remember talking to my grandmother and
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she would tell me stories about certain family members that when she started to explain
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it to me, I'm like, but I get these same things or I
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go through these same things. And then I found out that she used to
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do this and the same thing used to happen to her. And I'm like,
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wow, wow, wow, ye see exactly exactly. There you go.
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It's so much we're all. This world is just one big melting pot.
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It's just one big melting pot. You never know who you are,
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regardless as to what whether we live here, whether we live in another country.
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Wherever we are, we are still one big family and we all come
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together at some point, so we are all just one big, blended family.
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So with that, I'm going to end tonight's show, but we are
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going to continue this conversation on my next show, and I just hope everyone
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has a great week, continue to stay strong, continues to stay blessed.
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Tomorrow's the solar eclipse, so just have if you have your goggles, make
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sure you wear them, protect your eyes. Just stay healthy, stay strong,
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and I will see you again soon. I have a good night,
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everybody, all things, and where all the blue skyts, but all the