Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Easton's End of Year Extravaganza

Transcript

Easton's End of Year Extravaganza · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi everybody, This is Easton. I am the Engineer here
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: on the Almost Famous Podcast. First of all, thank you
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: so much for listening to the show and your support
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: over the last couple of years. We really appreciate it
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: and we have so much fun doing this show. Um. So,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: it's the holiday season, we're going into the new year. Uh,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: we thought it would be kind of fun to um
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: relive one of our favorite shows from this last year. Uh,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: you know, to to kind of look back on everything,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: all the exciting stuff that's happened in Bachelor Nation over
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: over the last twelve months. Uh. So, we wanted to
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: give you a special presentation of our in depth episode
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: with our favorite Dean Unglert Deanie Babies. Uh. It was
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: a really deep episode. It took a lot of twists
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: and turns, and we're really excited to bring that to
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: you again as we head into the new year. But
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: don't forget, The Bachelor is coming back January six, and
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: we will be ready for it. We're gonna have Pilot
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Pete here on the Almost Famous Podcast. Ben and Ashley
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: will have all the exclusives, all the behind the scenes,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: everything you possibly want to know about Pilot Pete's sure
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: to be turbulent season as he takes off to a
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: journey of love through the skies. But anyway, we'll see
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: you back here at January six for that special interview.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: But right now, please enjoy a special holiday version of
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: In Depth with Dean Anglert on the Almost Famous podcast
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth. Yeah,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: you feel like he sits at home very sixty minutes. Um.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: In Depth has been one of our favorite projects that
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: we've ever done, uh, the Almost Famous podcasts. It's actually
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: I was talking about it the other day. It's probably
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: my favorite project I've ever done since The Bachelor. Um,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: here's the reason why we get to sit for as
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: long as we want, as long as we need with
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: people from The Bachelor, Bachelor at talking about their life,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: what they've been through, who they are becoming, who they are,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: what's made him who they are, any stances they take
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: on life. We just like to dig deep and then
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: you the listener, get to know them better. Well. A
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: few weeks ago, we started a poll and it's it's
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: ironic in a sense, And I want to tell you why.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: We started a poll that said, who would you like
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: to hear from and all of Bachelor Nation, and we'll
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: bring him into studio and we'll do it in depth
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: with them. Well, you would expect, probably from that poll,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: that the most popular person from Bachelor Nation would be chosen. Well,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: the ironic piece of all this is the person that
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: was chosen does not believe that he is the most
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: popular person. He probably never has believed he is the
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: most popular person. He actually um. I think, as we
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: talked to today, will be will make fun at some
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: point of the fact that he was chosen. He'll he'll
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: he'll make some comment that diminishes it. But the truth
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: is this Dean Anglet was chosen in a landslide, and
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I think there's a reason why it's one because, yes,
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Dean is charming, but charm can't be deceit. What Dean
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: is is he's deep, he's real, um, he cares um.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: He he doesn't uh just walk past real situations, he
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: walks into them. And he's had his ups and downs,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: as we'll talk about in the podcast today. But but
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: you get to know Dean because you spend time with Dean,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: and I think there's a relatability Dean that has not
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: only made America go this guy's got something more and
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I like it. But it also doesn't hurt that he's
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: absolutely beautiful, but he's so much more. Dean, thanks for
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: coming in, Hey, thanks for having Thanks for that last
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: little cherry on top. You know, it's always great when
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: somebody gives you a really good compliment that like and
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I think you would appreciate being called real And then
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: how like much doesn't make you cringe when somebody's like,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: and you're beautiful. Honestly, that was my favorite part about
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: the whole because it's like, oh, he's he walks into
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: the situations and I'm just like, I'm a little uncomfortable.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: But then you sprinkle on that he's good looking. I'm like, Okay,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: this is all a joke, and now I understand. Now
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I know it's true. Um, Dean, how do we meet?
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: You and I met for the very first time. Actually,
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: we we could have met at a wine store in
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Low Highlands in Denver. I think I told you the story.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I was with my best friend and his girlfriend. We
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: walked in to buy some wine to watch some I
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: don't remember football maybe or something like that. But my
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: season Bachelor hadn't aired. In fact, it I had just
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: finished filming and I was in Colorado. I didn't even
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: see you, but my friend's girlfriend was like, oh my god,
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: that was Ben Higgins. I just walked by and I
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, I should have said hi, but we
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: didn't get a chance to. I don't remember how we
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: met for the very first time, though. I think one
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: of the very first times, and this is funny, is
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I was sitting at breakfast on a date. Yeah. Well no,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: we had known each other at that point though, because
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I remember I stopped and I was like, oh, hey Ben, Yeah,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: well that's funny that you say it like that. I
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: actually said Dean, and you kind of like kept walking like,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: oh what's up, dude, Oh yeah, you're right, yeah, and
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: it's kind of kept going. Okay in my defense, Okay,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: so Ben was on a date at breakfast and I
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: was like randomly walking with a couple of friends and
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: I hear my name called and this is like fresh
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: off the show, so like you kind of get that
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: a lot, you know, And I look over and I
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: see this tall dude, like you were kind of like
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: standing in the shadows a little bit, and you were
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: wearing wearing like a flat build hat forwards and like
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: low on your head, which I had never really seen
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: you wear anything like that before, and like maybe your
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: facial hair was a little different, and I just didn't
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: know who you were for the first like thirty seconds
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: of talking to you. It's fine, We're fine, But what's
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: happened with Diana and I is Dena and I and
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I'd like to say this, Please tell me if I'm wrong.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: We met and we became friends pretty quickly, and we
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: got a real friendship, like one that uh is not.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: We don't do any events together really remind me. I
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: think the first time we met was in Tahoe when
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: we were doing podcast stuff it might be, and we
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: got to spend time together. We got to talk about life,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: and what I what treats me about you is that
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: you're not afraid to talk about some of the like
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: the depths of life. You don't you don't run away
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: when somebody wants to bring up something that's that's heavy. Yeah,
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes I struggle to feel the empathy that
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: you're able to possess. But I think that something I've
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: learned as of lately over the past two or three
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: years or so is leaning into those difficult conversations can
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: be fun and and growth oriented, you know what I mean, Uh,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: something that didn't really know for a very long time.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I agree. I think it's fun to have
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: those conversations. You learn a lot about yourself, you gotta
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: learn a lot a lot about other people. So I'm
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: a little envious you gotta do this, uh in depth
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: on this show with Ashley, because I'm like, oh, it
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: sounds like a fun thing to want to be able
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: to get this. This is a blast. It makes this
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: feel like it's real, Like this is there's no agenda this,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I have no notes on where to go with this.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: It's it's wherever we want to take it. Is it
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: hard for I wonder if this will be difficult for
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: you because you basically know me in and out right,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: so you know what questions you want to ask. But also,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: it's not like there's no novelty to you to like
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: learn about me as we go on, because you already
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: know everything. No, that's not true. So here's the thing
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I told as I was prepping for this, I was
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: talking to a buddy of mine saying, they get to
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: do this today, and I said, here's one of the
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: cool parts is how often you get to sit down
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: with your friend, no matter how will you know them
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: and you get to ask them questions and they can't
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: run away from it, and they can't turn it back
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: on you because you like to turn it back on
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: me as quick as you can. But I'm hosting this
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: like this is this is my plane to fly, and
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: you've got to stay on board. And so you're gonna
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: have to walk through this with me. And so I
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: think I'll get to know or hear things that I've
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: always wondered that it's never been appropriate to ask, you know.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: But also bear in mind that the reason that I'm
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: able to open up to you so much is because
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I'm able to direct the conversation in certain ways and
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: feel comfortable through misdirection like that. And so I wonder
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: if me not being able to deflect the conversation back
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: to you will shut me off at all. We'll see, Yeah,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: we'll see. It's gonna be a fun ride. Dean Angler
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: in studio. Dean, let's dive in right away. Sure, you
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: just said something, um that I think is is how
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: I want to start this. You said you're unable to
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: um feel the empathy that that I would be in
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: deep conversations or painful conversation. Huh uh, take me out
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: of it for a second. Why do you immediately say
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: that about yourself? That, uh, that I lack empathy. UM.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: It's something that I've kind of become more aware of
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: as time moves on, and it's been kind of an
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: im uh an issue, not an issue, but like a
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: hurdle of sorts in past relationships. I remember I had
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: this girlfriend in college. He was like, you like, don't
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: feel things, you never feel any sort of way. And
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: I remember I was like watching something on Netflix and
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I texted her. I was like, hey, I think I
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: just cried. I watched something on Netflix, Like are you
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: proud of me? And she goes, oh my gosh, things
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: are changing. UM, I don't know. I think that I
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: just kind of grown numb to that stuff. And it's
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: like hard for me, just like my viewpoint on life,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: like you know that UM foundationally or like our our
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: root values are a little different, similar but different, right,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Like you get your values from different places that I do. UM,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: And I think part of where I've drawn my values from,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: it's like it's like a numbing thing, like I draw
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: like I'm an nihilist. You know, like I don't think
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: that life has any meaning, but I think that the
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: beauty and life not having meaning is that everything has
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: value in it. And so I think, like, you know,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: having conversations with people and getting like to dive into
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: who they are and got to do this in depth.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like be nice to people because life
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: is meaningless versus you is You're like, be nice to
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: people because it's just like the right thing to do,
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: and like you have your like your faith and all
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: that kind of stuff, you know what I mean. So
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I think the the uh product is the same, but
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: the process is a little bit different for us. And
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: I think that the process is different for me is
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: because I just I don't know, I've been through some
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: stuff with my mom obviously, with my friends and with
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: my family and all that, and I don't want to
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: like ever blame the way that I am because of
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: any of those things. But I think that has obviously
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: like a bit of a h it's like a bit
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: of reason for it, right. I don't know your store was.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you'd say accurately told during your
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: time on the Bachelor, but you definitely had a story
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: that was told. Um, it wasn't inaccurately told. I mean, obviously,
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: it's like you're not gonna have every uh every little
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: crevice and crack of your story shown, right, Like, I'm
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: sure when you were on the show, it's not like
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: it was Ben Higgins. It was a shadow or a
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: shell of yourself. But uh yeah, I mean they covered
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: like the main points, you know, like my mom passing,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: my family kind of falling apart, and that was basically it.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: But tell me if I'm wrong, I just as I've
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: got to know you better, I feel. I mean, watching
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: those moments back and and seeing that now on national television,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: was it uncomfortable? Um? It was uncomfortable. It was the
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: first time I had ever like watched myself back, right,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: So it's always gonna be uncomfortable. On top of that,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I was like I was drinking to like cope with
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: the discomfort, right, And so I didn't while we were filming, right,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: So I didn't necessarily like I know exactly how I
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: would come across having been like a little buzz or
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: something like that. Right, Like, normally when you're when you're
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: drinking in your buzz and you go out to the
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: bars and you like say something silly like that's the
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: only time that you have to deal with that, right,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: But when you're do it on TV, you have to
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: deal with it a second time when you watch it back. Um.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: So there was like a little bit of anxiety written
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: because I was like, Okay, like what how is this
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: going to come across? Like how am I gonna look like?
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Am I gonna be coherent? Or am I gonna like
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: say the right things like that kind of stuff. So
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: that was a little anxiety inducing. Um. What's funny is
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: the fourth time around on the TV show, when I
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: didn't drink at all, I had I felt no anxiety,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: you know, stress when you think that because I was
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: like I was completely in control of everything I was
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: doing and saying. So it's like I have nothing to
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: be afraid of, you know. Yeah, I totally get that.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: When I was the Bachelor, I barely drunk. Drink it
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: all right smart? Um well yeah, but and also because
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I had so much anxiety going into it, I couldn't
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: just if I drink to cover it up and take
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: a lot of drinks. Um. And your schedule is exhausting,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: so you're like, you know you're going to bet at
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: two am, waking up at seven am. Probably it's like
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: a constant hangover and it's not going to be fun.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I I watched your season without knowing you, UM, and
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: your your story during that time was it was deeper
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: than any other we've ever seen. I'd like to believe,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: no way. I think the idea of you. I think
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: there was a moment when you laying on the floor
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: of your father's house with Rachel and everything had kind
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: of fallen out around you during that hometown date and
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: you were reminiscing on all the things that have happened
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: to lead you that point. I think there was a
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: moment there where, maybe just because I liked you already,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: there was a depth to that moment that I felt
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: an emotion that I don't feel watching this show like
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: your life was was was being displayed in front of you.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Things were what happened during that day would have ramifications
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: past the show. So I want to know from you.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know how in the world you end up
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: on this show, but during the like, as you watch
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: it back, are you glad you did it? Um? Yeah,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: I think that in hindsight, I'm super grateful that I
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: did it because not only what like, like have I
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: grown as an individual since the show, the first show
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: that I went on, but also just like seeing myself,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I'm not much of an EmPATH, right, so,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: like I don't feel things. But that first show that
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: I went on, when I cried for the first time
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: on camera, I was like looking back that night and
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, man, I'm gonna be look like
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: such a woos Like I shouldn't have cried. I'm so embarrassed. Um.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: And then I remember one of the producers was like, man,
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: like people cry, Like as long as your story touches
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: one person, like you should consider it a success. And
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, that makes sense, that's sense, I guess.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: But then watching it back, I was like so worried
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: my friends were gonna, like, you know, make fun of
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: me and like whatever as a guy crying on TV.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: But even just that small little thing, like I guess
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: provide a lot of growth for me to be like, okay,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: like it's okay to feel things. It's okay to like
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: be vulnerable and to like be upset and be sad
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: and cry, which I never really felt before. Um, And
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: that's obviously something I'm still working on. It's not like
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: it's gonna happen overnight. Um, But that in and of itself,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: just that first episode where it was Rachel and I
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: in um, Hilton Head, South Carolina or North Carolina. I
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: don't remember exactly what Carolina was, but I remember I
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: cried on that date. I told about my mom, etcetera.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: And uh, yeah, I was like worried about it. But
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: then watching it back, like the outpouring of support from everyone,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: even my friends who are reaching out to me. They
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: were like because even before that, like before I went
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: on the show, like even some of my closest friends
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: didn't even know that I, you know, lost my mom
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: at a young age or whatever it was. And they
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: watched the show and they're like, holy calic. I didn't
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: know this. And it was just something that I had
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: never really wanted to share with anyone because I didn't
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: want to feel receive any sympathy or like preferential treatment
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: because they felt bad for me something like that. You know, so, Um,
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: but wouldn't you here's the part that and this is
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: where I want to pause you. This is what I
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: don't get is wouldn't you want people to fully know you, like,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: these are your friends that you're worried about if they're
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: gonna make fun of you because you cry, yet they
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: don't know you, And like, getting to know you as
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: a friend is is honestly sometimes impossible personally or just
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: generally generally, I would say, And like if if you're
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: good friends, some of your closest friends don't know that
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: your mom had passed at a young age, something that
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: is a pivotal moment in your life for every reason,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know, Just like as a twenty five year
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: old guy, you're you know, you're making new friends, you're
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: like going out. It's just not really something that you
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: bring up in conversation, even like if you have an
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: opportunity to bring it up, it's just not something that
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: I ever really cared to be Like, hey, by the way,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: like you know this happened to me when I was
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: fifteen or A big part of it too was I
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: didn't want any like I said, I didn't want to
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: receive sympathy or preferential treatment for it. I didn't want
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: anyone to I didn't want to be like liked for
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: liked because of the things that had happened to me.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be liked because of the person I
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: am now, not the things that had happened to me
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: in the past, I think, and I just never really
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: took it on myself to be like, yeah, like this
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: is my story, you know, and a lot of people too,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: especially me, Like, I don't feel like my story is
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: wholly unique. I don't think that my story is like
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: worth sharing. I like kind of like began to turn
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: around that a little bit. Obviously, having a podcast and
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: meeting people like you, uh, it kind of like makes
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: you feel like every story is special in its own way, Like,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: sure it's unique, um, but every story is worth being
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: heard as well. And that's like taking some time to
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: come around on. But even now it's like, yeah, I
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: don't know, I don't it's hard. It's hard to say, really,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I guess about why I didn't open up about that
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: part of my life, you know, And it was such
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: a long time ago, and it's like, obviously, the between
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: fifteen and twenty five is when I went on the show.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: Those ten years are like some of the most transformative
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: years of your life, and so I didn't even really
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: associate my current self with my past self when I
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: was fifteen, So it's just like, there's no point really
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: diving into that side of it. I guess have you
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: at all resented? Um? Because as I listen to you
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: talk here, you know, I get it. I get that
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: you when you're twenty five, you're going out, you know,
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: to the bar, as you meeting new friends. It's not
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: on the topic that's going to come up. But now
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: that it's happened, people know that about you. Um, they
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: know that at a young age your mother had passed
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: that you're all are you? Are you all resentful? That
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: that's brought up so often now? Yeah, I don't like
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: that people can use it as an excuse for like
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: my behavior or something like that. You know what I mean,
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Explain more, tell me more. Like let's say, because I'm
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: obviously I make a lot of bad decisions in life.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: I think we all do, mean maybe more so than others.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: But sometimes I see the case being made like, oh,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: he had a heart upbringing, so like let's give him
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: a pass on this. You know, I don't like hearing that.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily think that just because my mom died
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: when I was fifteen, or my friend Hunter died when
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: I was ten, or Alex that when I was twenty one,
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: that like that gives me a pass on anything. Um.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know, Like I just think it's
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: kind of I don't think that excuses any type of
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: bad behavior, you know what I mean. So I guess
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: maybe that's kind of why I stay quiet about it.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: That's an anti victim mentality that you're taking. So like
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: you're saying, don't give me sympathy, don't don't lay off
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: of holding me accountable to live to being a greater
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: person because of the pains of my past. Though that's
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: not an excuse for you. I think it's a silly
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: thing to think that it would be things like who
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: whatever I wanted? People use that excuses, Yeah, but no
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: one wants that like you should You shouldn't really have
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: excuses and be it shouldn't be for anything that happened
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: to you in the past. Like, I don't know, I
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: just think it's silly. It's like, Okay, that was a
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: long time ago, a b even if it was like
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: that should encourage you to do things maybe better or differently. Um.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: And so I would never like I would never be like,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: oh I'm sorry that I did this, But when I
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: was younger, like this happened to me, and so now
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: I feel this way and that's what's making me act
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: like this. You know what I mean? Does that make sense?
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I I it completely makes sense to me. It's not common.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: It's the thought process of don't use my pass as
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: an excuses not common. I think it should be more common. Fair,
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: you can you can think that it's just not so
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: when when you sit here and you tell me, then
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: let me, let me try to get to the bottom
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: of this. What role did your past and the traumatic
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: situations in your life that did change the course of direction?
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: What role do they play in your life now? I
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: don't think if they're not an excuse, I don't think
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: they play any role in my life. I mean, sure
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: they've there. They were of all stepping stones that like
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: every time does something happened to me, you know, you
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: have to come out the other side of it. But
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I don't think that. I don't know. It's hard to say, Like,
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: obviously I'm a product of all of the experience that
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I've had as a person, right, and I would be
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: a completely different person had none of those things ever happened,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: and a lot of the good things in my life
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: that have happened are in a weird way, like because
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: of those things, those bad things, Right, So I would
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: never say that I'm I'm not who I am because
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: of those things. But they don't have like any bearing
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: on my day to day life, you know, like I don't.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: I think they do at least. Yeah. I think one
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: of the things that has always amazed me about you
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: is that your thought process in these moments like this,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: because if you really do believe that, and it's it's
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: pretty it's it's pretty true for you that you don't
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: use these things that have like definitely hurt, that have
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: caused tears, that have caused confusion, that have shaken your
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: world view up. You don't use those as excuses for
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: what you're doing today. They're they're pivotal points, they're they're
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: foundational holding stones, as you call them, But they aren't
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: excuses for Hey, because my mom is past, that's why
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: I am doing X y Z. So I want to
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: shift gears here because it's not fair for me and
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I don't really know what would be talked about when
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: it comes to these bad decisions. What bad decisions are
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: people talking about? When it comes to you that they're
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: dismissing your behavior because of your past. I don't know,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: you see a lot of Like obviously I've got not
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: the most successful dating history, right, So it's like I
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: would never like now that I'm dating Kalin, Right, I
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: would never like if I lose my temper, which obviously
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: doesn't happen very often, if ever, but I would never
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: blame a bad decision on something that happened to me
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: back then because of that, Like, like, so you lose
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: your temper, right, I'm like, Oh, I'm upset, but it's
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: okay because my mom's dead. Like that's just kind of
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: messed up, you know what I mean, Like, I would
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: never do that. That's kind of what I'm saying where
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: it's like, and I think it's why people I think
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: it's why you're voted the one interview that every wants
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: to here because I think you are unique in it.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: I don't think you're alone in that, and I don't
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: think you're wrong in it. But I Dean, I think
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: what intrigues people about you is that mindset, because yes,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: you've done things like we all have, that have been
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: considered mistakes or maybe have hurt people in the process.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Or hurt yourself in the process. But you don't look
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: at those situations. And this is the beautiful thing about
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: having being a friend of yours is you don't look
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: at those situations and blame anything but yourself. You take
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: ownership for it. Everybody out there watching goes there's something
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: freeing about that that I want to know more about.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: And I wanta know where that comes from. I don't
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: know where it comes from. I wish I could know
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: where it comes from. Confidence. I don't think there's I
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: don't I don't know. I don't know if I'm the
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: most confident person in the world. Maybe inwardly, but I
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: don't think I expressed. I don't know. Do what am
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: I confident? I suppose maybe sometimes tory is not even heard. Yes,
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: I guess so um. I honestly, I really don't know.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: I haven't really put too much thought into why that
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: is that way I think again, it boils back down.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: So I mean, when I was a kid, up until
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: I was about thirteen or fourteen, we were pretty like
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: devoutly Presbyterian. We went to Sunday School and Sunday Church
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: every every week up until my mom got really really
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: sick and we had like this good foundational, um religious
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: aspect to our family, even though like the kids, as
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: most kids do, they hate to go to church on Sundays,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: but my parents wanted to do. It was like an
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: hour drive every day every Sunday. I'm sorry, um. And
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: then I went to college. I kind of like shed
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: all of that and I became for like three years
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: or something, I was like this like steadfastly atheist in
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: college and I was like, God, isn't real that all
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: this is just bogus whatever. Um. I've kind of come
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: around on that a little bit since then, but I
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: think that those years in college, I was kind of
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: just like very heavily nihilistic as well, and I was
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: just like nothing matters. All of the past is the past,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: the future is the future, and there's no reason to
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: like let the past have any dictation on your future self, right,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: And so I think that's kind of where I took
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: that mentality from. And even in college, like I remember
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: I was dating this girl when I was a sophomore.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: We had been dating for like ten months or something
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: like that, and I had just moved into a house
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: and with that moving, I had like a shoe box
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: that I had like a bunch of old pictures and
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: stuff in and like letters and all that kind of
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: stuff that I'd like never told anyone about, and she
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: like was moving with with me and we like opened
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: it together, and she was like, oh my gosh, like
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I'm finally getting like a peek into you as a
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: child or like you're older, you know, like some of
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: your memories and like something that I've never really shared before.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I guess that's just I've never really associated uh like
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: past self with either present or future self, um for
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: better for worse. Like what you're able to do with
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: your platform is like you're building things right, And maybe
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: I guess like I'm ashamed of who I am now
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: or who I'm going to be, And so that's kind
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: of why I like kind of keep things under wraps
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: a little bit. Um. I don't know. I guess I
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: haven't really like de held much too much deeper much
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: into that. If you just noticed their Dean's really get it,
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: like quietly turning it back on me for just a second.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: It's really great. It's a really good skills that he has.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: But we're not gonna let it happen today. Um, We're
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: gonna take a break here and when we get back,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to Dean. I want to start
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: the beginning how in the world UH is Dean? Ungle?
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Who he is? And then also how does he get
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: on the show? Because it just doesn't make sense. You're
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: gonna hear the end of the podcast. Uh An interview
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: with Bob Dalton. Bob Dalton, I both have started small businesses. UH.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Part of starting a small business is also hiring the
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: team around you. Actually, when somebody asks me, okay, how
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: do you make a small business work? My response is
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: always I never make it work. It's the team we
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: have that makes us work. You want to surround yourself
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: with the best people, and that's why I use zip Recruiter.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Hiring can be a challenge, as Quotable co founder Gretchen
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Heabner discovered. Gretchen needed to hire a game artist for
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: her education tech company. She knew it wouldn't be easy
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: to find someone to grow with her team. That's why
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: she went to zip Recruiter. Like Gretchen, Generous also uses
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: zip Recruiter to help mind the most talented of people.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: In fact, four Generous even started I was using zip recruiter.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: I was on zip recruiter to help me find jobs.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Zip recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you, it finds
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: them for you. It's technology identifies people with the right
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: experience and invites them to apply to your job, so
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: you get qualified candidates fast. Gretchen posted her job on
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: zip recruiter, and she said she was so impressed with
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: how quickly she found qualified applicants. She also uses zip
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: recruiter screening questions to filter her candidates so she could
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: focus on the best ones. And that's yes, that's how
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Gretchen found a new game artist in less than two weeks. Hey,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, if you want to hire the best
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: employees and surround yourself with the best people, zip recruiter
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: is the way to do it. With results like this,
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: it's no wonder. Four out of five employers who post
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: on zip recruiter get a qualified quality candidate within the
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: first day. See why zip recruiter is effective for businesses
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: of all sizes. Try zip recruiter for re at zipp
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: recruiter dot com, back slash ben that zipp recooter dot
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: com backslash b e n zippercoiter dot com, slash ben
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: zippercruiter the smartest way to hire. Come back with Dean Angler. Dean,
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: let's start at the beginning. You're raised in Aspen, Colorado. Yeah, right,
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: more but Salt Colorado. But Aspens the nearest town that
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: everyone knows, you know, close enough and pretty normal childhood. Yeah,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: I suppose talk about it, and that is not it's
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: not convincing. I don't know if I know your childhood
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: very well at all. Where do you want to start
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: with the childhood exactly? Let's start at seven? Well, I
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: was six, Ben, Okay, it's a little backstory for the
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: listener out there. I can find it in Ben, a
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: story that I have only dressed recently open and started
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: opening up about. Um. Actually not to long ago. Ashley
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: and Jared's wedding I think was the first time I
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: told you about it. It's one of the best We're
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: gonna I'll help you here, though. You tell years, I'll
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: tell myne well, And so I was gonna say that.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: One of the reasons that I was able to open
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: up to Ben about this was because he has obviously
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: as warm and welcoming as he is. Not only was
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: he like receptive and empathetic, but he also had a
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: very similar story of his own to share back with me,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: which only just helps us connect on a deeper level.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: I think, right, I don't want to diminish how great
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: this podcast is gonna be getting to know you. I
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: have a feeling that this will be the segment that
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: gets the most response. My heart's beating a little faster
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: than I thought about this story a lot, and I
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: thought about how if I ever decided to share it publicly,
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: how I would go about doing it. I never thought
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: that I would be sharing it on a podcast. Let's
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: do it. Um. So I was bullied a lot in
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: high school and middle school for one very specific read well, yeah,
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: for one specific reason. Um. And I've only just started
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: sharing this story, probably within the past year, so I
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: would say December was the first time I started staring
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: sharing this story, so less than a year actually, Um,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: and some of my closest friends know about it. My
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: current girlfriend knows about it. Ben obviously knows about it.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Band's girlfriend knows about it. And you know what, I'm
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: just gonna share it. Anyways. I don't know if we
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: can curse on this one. Let's go ahead and bleep
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: that out. So I was bullied a lot in middle
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: school and in high school because of an event that
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: happened to me when I was six years old. I
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: hurt myself in a way that's very specific to how
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: only a man can hurt himself. Um, and I didn't
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: have the courage to stand up for myself later on
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: in life to the people that would then bully me
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: forward that event. So it was first grade, it was recess.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: I was. We had this like suspension bridge on the playground,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: and on the sides of the sussension suspension bridge, obviously
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: we're like these ropes to hold the bridge in the air.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: And one of the ropes came undone somehow throughout the
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: wear and terror of the of a normal day. And uh,
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: they were attached at the bottom by these little hooks
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: that would like hook onto the bridge. And so mark
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: marks already kind of get into it a little bit.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: This is not even looking anymore. And so as a
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: six year old, curious, adventurous, excited, I put my foot
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: on the hook to like swing back and forth and
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: beat my chest like tars and swinging through the jungle.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: And uh, sure enough, that hook was small, My foot
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: was small, didn't have very good grip. Slipped off this
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: bridge was probably I want to say, seven ft in
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: the air. I was, you know, three ft tall, so
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: it was a tall bridge. And the hook, instead of
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: finding anywhere else to fall it decided to go right
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: it between my legs, hook onto the thing that carries
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: the two things that define us as meant and ripped
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: up just about to just below the end of that
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: other thing that it literally ripped all the way up
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: to the end of his penis, scrolled him to the
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: end of his penis, if we're using those words, shore
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: from about halfway on my ball sack to about three
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: just below the tip of my penis about six inches. So, like,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: you know, let's just say was a big it was
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: a top. It's a big cut. Uh yes. And so obviously,
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: as a six year old, I run to the doctor.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: I'm like screaming, I'm crying. I have no idea what
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: to do. So I like hobble run all the way
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: up to the nurse and she goes, this is the
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: way over my head. I gotta figure out what to
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: do with a school nurse. So she calls my mom,
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: my mom. I'm like laying in the nurse's off as
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: my mom comes and she's like Okay, well, we've gotta
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: like bring you to surgery. So I go to like
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: the nearest surgeon and they stitched me up. I think
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: it was like forty or so stitches, and my penis
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: from my scrolled them to the up, up the shaft
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: to my penis down to just blow the head um.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Everything was fine, obviously as a six year old, so
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: I don't remember the pain too much. I remember like
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: some of the side effects, like having to gaza every
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: every so often. My mom had like take care of me,
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: clean me, make sure it was like disinfected um. And
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: for the longest time, I was like, this is the
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: worst thing that ever could have happened to me, Like
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: I'm deformed, I'm so abnormal. Everything was fine, like my
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: penis and scrolled them are perfectly fine. I just got
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: like kind of an earlag scar down there, you know
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: what I mean. We were able to to urinate normally. Oh,
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: I don't remember, I think so. I remember the catheter
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: for an extended period. No, I didn't definitely didn't need
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: a catheter. I remember one specific story. We were like
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I went on vacation somewhere and this hotel had a pool,
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: and I really wanted to go to the pool, but
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: obviously wasn't allowed in the water because I had this
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: open wound on my on my testicles, and I remember
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: like like hobbling running down the hallway for a long
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: time my brother. I don't know, it's just this this
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: very distinct memory that I have. But um, as kids do,
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: they like to obviously like create stories and start rumors.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: And what they did was they kind of started this
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: rumor that I only had one testicle for a long
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: long time and it didn't really matter much. When I
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: was an elementary school or middle school at this rumor
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: was going around I had one testicle. But then when
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: I got to high school, when testicle has become an
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: important thing, right, the rumor became that I only had
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: one testicle still when I was in high school, and
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: everyone like joked about it like behind my back and
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: something like very rarely brought it up to my face,
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: but it happened a couple of times, and I was
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: always like so like ashamed and taking it. Like I
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: couldn't defend myself because I just wasn't confident enough to
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: be like I've got two testicles, and I like everyone
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: needs to know it. You know what I mean, And
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: so I was bullied pretty heavily for that. And on
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: top of that, I had like a very attract my
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: sister is very attractive, and they always like bullied me
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: for that. Um. And then I like because of I
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: don't know if it was because of the stitches that
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: I got on my scrolled him or I had a
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: couple of unique injuries as well, but I walked really funny.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: And so everyone in high school, well not everyone, like
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: the upper classman when I was playing football, they would
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: always say that I walk around like I had a
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: build up my and so because of these things, and
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: he didn't, and so I did not have a build um.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: And this was the story that Ben and I bonded
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: over because Ben, I think has maybe shared on this
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: podcast almost famous, but he has a similar ish story.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: But I just want to be clear, right, that's similar
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: in the hook to the genital yeah, not the second party.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: Oh and also I think I might have shared this
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: on the Help I Suck, a dating podcast. But when
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: I moved to Los Angeles, one of the first things
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: I did was to get my potency checked. And what
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: I said was on the podcast the first time was
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: that I wanted to, you know, I just wanted to
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: see how I was doing down there, just out of curiosity.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: But the reality of it is, I just wanted to
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: know if, like the stitches or you know, the rusty
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: hook that just cut my penis open, maybe like inhibited
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: my ability to have children. Right, the long story short,
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: it didn't, like, m everything's fine down there in that sense.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: But that's always it was always just going to send
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: pictures out if anybody's like, no, that's not funny, it's
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: I can show you. I won't, but I could. I can't.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Got really excited. Is it? Is it that noticeable? No,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: it's not. And no one you would, like, of all
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: the girlfriends I've ever had, no one ever knew about
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: it until I finally just started like talking about it
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: a year ago, right, Um, and yeah, I think like
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: talking about it, it's kind of like released some of
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: the power that has had on me. The thing is,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: like a lot of the kids from high school with
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: like some of my best friends from high school still
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: think that I probably only have one testicle. Let's make
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: it clear, you have to I have two testicles and
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: they both function as testicles for function. Um, I guess
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I can share this story. Like the reason the first
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: time I ever opened up about the scar my penis,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: uh is when Leslie and I were dating. Leslie of
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: course had a double mistech to me, and she has
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: scars on her breast because of that, and I was like,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: you're not that different than me. I've got a scar
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: on my genitals as well, and let me prove it
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: to you. And so that's how I started. That was like,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: the first time I told the story to someone, what
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: was her response? She was like, why are you so
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: freaked out about this? Like, if your penis is perfectly normal,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: that's kind of weird talk about my penis in the
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: context of my ex girlfriends. But that was but that
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: was the first time I ever shared the story with anyone, right,
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: And so then then I would like kind of get
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: drunk with some of my best friends and be like, hey, guys,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: I've got a funny story to tell you about my penis,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: and obviously they're like, yeah, tell us, this is going
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: to be great. Yeah, And it was I the first
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: ever go I think I don't have one, the one upset.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: It's on the same level though, And you were the
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: first one to ever rebuttal with the story of your own,
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: which I really appreciate, and I would I mean, if
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: you want to get us like a I would love to. Yeah,
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: that make you feel better, please, it's a great segment.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: We're gonna We're gonna skip all of Dean's childhood just
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: for this segment. But I guess the point, the point
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: of that story was that that was something that I
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: was centrally bullied for for a lot as a kid.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: Right thought that I had a test? Isn't it funny
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: that it's not funny? Isn't it odd that some of
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: those stories like that that we maybe like suppress and
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: hold deep and like laugh about now a little bit
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: are the ones that have affected us a most as
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: we've grown up. This story that I'm about to share
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: did suck my confidence away. Um, okay, So here it is.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: I'll tell a quick version later on what we record
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: a longer version of it. Um. I was so freshman
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: year of high school. Um, I got called to be
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: the starting quarterback. It's a big deal. Two injuries. It
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: wasn't because I was great. It was two injuries. I
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: got to step up and I had a great first game.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: It was awesome. It was fun I thought, like the
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: futures in football, Um, sophomore year, I'm supposed to start
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: again obviously, Um the senior class had graduated, and so
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: I have a shot to to be the starter. All
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: of a sudden, I start feeling like just a pain
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: in my testicles, like a a soreness, a heat like
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: just like it throbbed all the time. So I'd reach
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: down there and I was feeling link just in case
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: there's something going on. And I felt a clump like
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: a bump, a clump of of something in my testicles,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: and so I told my parents and they took me
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: to the doctor. I went to doctor, and the doctor
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: diagnosed me with something called a very coast seal. Very
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: co steal is something very common one in four men
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: and get it. Um, not every I think it's one
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: and eight that need to get removed. But mine was
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: big enough that I need to get removed. But a
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: very coast seal is is it's a it's an extra
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: like vein in your sack that heats that blood comes
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: through obviously, and it overheats your testicles and so it
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: would kill off your sperm. So if you leave it
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: for long enough, actually your sperm will stop producing um
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: and you'll become sterile, so you need to get removed
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: at some point soon. Well, mine started to get so
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: bad and so sore that I did it a couple
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: of months before football season, thinking I'll get this done,
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: I'll get it cleared up, and then I'll be good
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: to go for football. It's an easy surgery. Actually. They
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: just go in through your groin um arthur scopic. They
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: pull it out, cut it up, caught aized the ends.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: You don't even hardly know it happened, and within two
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: days you're back gone. So all that's going really well
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: for me. Um. I go in for surgery, I come
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: back home. I remember this. I'm laying on my bed
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: in my house and all of a sudden, um my
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: nuts just start hurting so bad after surgery. And at
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: the time I thought maybe it was because I just
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: had surgery in my testicles. That would make sense, right,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: But they start hurting so bad and they start burning.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: And I called my dad in It's been about twenty
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: four hours since surgery, and I said, Dad, I need
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: you to look at these. It hurts so bad. And
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: so I lifted up my my sheets or whatever, and
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: he looked and he's like, we need to get you
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: the doctor right now. My ball had swollen up to
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: the size of a grapefruit and we didn't know why.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: So my my I had a massive testicle and I
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: go into the doctor and this is what the doctor does.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: Literally what happened was the vein that they're supposed to
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: cauter ice together did not cauter ice completely, and so
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: blood was just pumping directly every time my heart would
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: pump into my testicle. And so they had to take
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: a needle, a drainage needle, and shove it right into
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: my ball sack without numbing me because it was getting
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: so big so fast, and start draining the blood and
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: the liquid off of my ball sack. Like as I'm
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: wide awake and on non numbed non numbed. Well, my
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: swelling doesn't go down for a few days. And so
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: I go back to the high school and because of
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: the damage that's been done down there, and it was
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: a lot of damage, you know, they had to go
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: back in re caught her eyes. They had just stuck
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: a needle in my testicles. Like there's a lot of
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: like trauma to a place that's like really sensitive. It
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: stayed swollen, and I had to go back to high
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: school and I had to sit on ice in every class.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: I couldn't missed more class and so I had to
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: sit on ice. So I had to carry an ice
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: bag around and sit on it where you can't hide
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: that in class, and so people would ask what's happened?
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: What happened? Well, it got to the point where it's like,
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: screw it, I'm just gonna start showing, like people my testicle.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: So I showed the football team, like why I wasn't practicing,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: And I showed the basketball team like why I wasn't
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: going to the open gyms, Like here, check out my
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: my testicles, and they did. And I'm not kidding, like
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: it's it's still to this day. Was something that was
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: brought up every time. I was like, I had a
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: deformed test school that was the size of a grape
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: fruit for probably two weeks of my life in class.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: So that's why Den and I related on that. So
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: at that point, So at that point, Diana and I
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: are sitting around having drinks at Ashley Jared's wedding going
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: I knew I liked you, and I knew there's a
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: reason why, but I got made fun of it for
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: it too, and it really did affect me and like,
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: I think a little bit of my confidence. I don't
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: know if you felt this way, but the fact that
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: every underlying story about I felt like everybody was talking
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: about behind my back. Oh yeah, absolutely. I thought I
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: was going to be a virgin for my entire life.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm no one's everyone asleep with me, well,
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: and we'll talk about later. That hasn't been the case.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: And what's funny is I remember when I looked up
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: with my my girlfriend for the first time, she spent
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: a lot of extra time down there, like examining, like
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: feeling around, making sure everything felt normal because she had
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: obviously heard the stories, and she was like, Okay, well
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna spend a little bit time, you know, figuring
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: it out. But I was like, I was like, I
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: would wake up has like a thirteen I lost my
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: virgin and when I was sixteen, I think I would
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: wake up almost every single day before that happened, I
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm going to be a virgin forever. No
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: one's gonna want to like have sex with me. This
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: is the worst thing in the world. How could this
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: happen to me of all people, like this sucks, and
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: then obviously I lost it, and then I began to realize,
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: like there's nothing wrong with me. Yeah, I just like
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: I created this thing in my head where like I
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: don't know, I let this have some power over me
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: in a weird way. There's there's about four or five
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: health stories from my high school days, middle school, high
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: school days that have like dramatically affected my life. We'll
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: talk about him at some other point. Five there's some
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: wild ones man, and we'll talk about at some other point,
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: but not today. But that that is my best story
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: with UM. Yeah, with with our nuts with um. Hey,
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: before Dan, I really want to dive into your childhood
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: and some of the parts that mean the most. But
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: before we do, let's take one break and we'll come
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: back UM to read chat with Dean. If you've been
• 41:05
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• 42:08
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• 42:36
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• 42:49
  Speaker 1: of screwed them talk today on the podcast. That's actually
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: a fantastic segment because it's it's so real, it's so true,
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: and it really did it really did affect I just
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I can't I mean, honestly, ever since you told me
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: this story, I can't get over the idea that there's
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: a hook that just dully ripped apart. You're under carriage, um, Dean,
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: with that, we're gonna transition. It's there's no easy way
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: to do this. Um, what are your happiest moments growing up?
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: My happiest moments growing up? That's a great question. Actually
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Um. I My childhood started off kind
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: of weird, where we like lived in an RV park
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: up until I was about four or five years old. Um,
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: and I have like some distinct memories from the r
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: V that we're pretty wholesome. Like we remember sitting on
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: top of our well, it was a bus, right, So
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: my dad like gutted a school bus and put a
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: bunch of beds into it and we lived in that
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: for like four years. I just thinkly remember like one
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: time we sat on top of this bus and like
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: watch some demolition derby while we were eating oreos at
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: night in some like town in Oklahoma or something weird
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: like that. Like that was a good memory, UM as
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: a kid, like older wise, I don't, I don't know.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: It's basically it was a normal childhood, except aside from
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: obvious see all those other things, you know what I mean?
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: Like I remember we had an easter and steamboat where
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: like my mom had candy around the apartment that we
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: were staying in, like the hotel room or something like that.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: I remember like spending a lot of time with my
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: brothers and sister like looking for him, like having fun,
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: and the snow was falling outside and we're like in
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: this cool, exciting new place. Just like small things like that. Um,
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: but I don't remember anything like specific. That's like that
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: was like the happiest moment of my life. You know.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: Do you think, um, your family would look back on
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: Dean as a kid and say, we knew this is
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: who he is going to become. What have I become?
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: I guess is the question? Well, you're living in a van, um.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: You you have a lot of wonder lust, you're an artist,
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: you do incredible videos. Um, and you've you can be
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: kind of this like artist wonder lust figure. And also
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: I don't, I don't. I can't say it any other
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: better way, like do really well in reality television in
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: some weird way. Yeah, what'sunny is the first time I
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: went on the show, my best friend was like, dude,
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: you're gonna suck on that show, like you're way too
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: normal for it. And I guess the more I think
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: about it, where I'm like, I will hope I'm not normal,
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Um, And what's funny about
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: the living in a van thing is I'm actually in
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: the majority in my family for living in a van.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: My brother lives in his truck, My father lives in
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: an RV. My sister and other brothers both live in
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: like home like an apartment. Uh so three out of
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: five of us live in a car essentially, So I'm
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: not wholly unique in my family specifically. Um, I don't
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: think that they would look at me and think that
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: at all, But like, I don't know what interesting story
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: about my old Both my brothers are older, but the
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: second brother right, Uh, none of us in our family
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: are like really good at communicating our feelings, especially as
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: it comes to like being brothers with each other, like
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: how much we mean to each other. Just a weird
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: thing for brothers to do. Um. On top of that,
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: we're just weird people to begin with. And I remember
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: my brother's girlfriend and I were like we were all
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: going out, me, my brother, his girlfriend, and my other
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: brother and both my brothers went upstairs because they forgot something.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: So it's just like me and my brother's girlfriend were
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: like waiting for them downstairs. I remember she said something
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: to me. She was like, Ross, uh the other day,
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: told me how special you are? And he was like
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: he told me that he that Dean possesses all of
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: my good qualities and none of my bad qualities. And
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I would never expect Ross to
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: say that, Like he would never say that to me,
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: just me and him talking, you know what I mean.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: So it was like a cool third party way to
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: like find out that I don't know, my brother's thought
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: highly of me, which I never really thought. I would
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: never think they thought lowly of me, you know what
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, But like it was just like it's an
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: interesting thing to hear that I really appreciated. UM. But no,
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: I mean I don't think anyone would ever expect or
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: have suspected this. I was always kind of this weird
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: black sheep, where like I was the only member of
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: my family to have like an office job as a recruiter,
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: Like I I set an office for at a desk
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: for for you to fifty hours a week. And all
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: my other brothers are like your siblings are like you
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: know my sister's hairstyle as my brother is a waiter.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: My other brother is a carpenter. My father is a carpenter.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: So it's like, I don't know why I felt like
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: this need to kind of have like a more of
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: a normal life at first. Um, obviously reality tv TV
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: kind of derailed that normalcy a little bit, but uh yeah,
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it if childhood wasn't full of
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: like the happiest memories and what were some of the
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: hardest Uh, childhood was not full of that? Well obviously
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: the story but my balls is not the best. We
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: had to bring it back. Um, When I was ten,
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: my best friend got hit by a truck. That was
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: like the first experience of trauma that I, like I
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: was kind of had to deal with. He was my
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: best friend, his name was Hunter Holly Scott. Uh. He
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: and I shared a birthday April seventeenth, nine, And you
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: know when you're that age, like that's like a big deal.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: It's like it's like enough of a reason to become
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: best friends with someone. And we were neighbors. We lived
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: pretty close to each other, so we spent a lot
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: of time together. But yeah, we were best friends. And
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: then one summer we were both like riding our bicycles
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: to the market and we had picked up like some
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: drinks and some snacks, and we're riding back and as
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: I was writing, we were riding back, he was like
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: maybe ten ft in front of me, and he lost
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: his balance and he fell over into the street. And
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: as he fell over into the street, a truck came
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: and ran him over, like ran his head over. It
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: was actually it was pretty pretty, uh pretty graphic. So
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: that was my first first Prussian with trauma, right when
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: I was ten years old. I actually remember funny enough
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: to to kind of bring this back to what we
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: were talking about earlier. As I was sitting there as
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: a ten year old on the side of the road,
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: like my best friend's brains were basically spilled out into
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: the street. At this point, they had thrown tarp over it.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: Um they were like trying to contact both of our parents.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: But I remember I was sitting there like like the
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: there's like a crowd starting to gather from like the
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: cold deestac because it was like, you know, pretty close
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: knit community, and they all that come around me and
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: they're like are you okay? Are you okay? And I
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: remember crying, and I remember the only reason that I
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: was crying because it was because I felt like I
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: was expected to be crying. Like I felt like people
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: thought they were like deans should be crying right now.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: So I was like I'm gonna cry, like I'm gonna
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: make it. But then I remember thinking to myself, I
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: was like, there's nothing I can do about this situation,
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: so what's the point of crying, you know what I mean?
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: But I was like performing, right, I was like I
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: was performative crying. I was like, I think I'm supposed
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: to be sad here, so I'm gonna cry. And I
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: was sad, of course, but like I felt like I
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily visually as upset until I was like, oh,
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: like I probably should be crying right now, you know what?
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, um, how do you how do you process
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: that as a ten year old? I don't think I
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: ever really did, to be perfectly honest. I remember my
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: parents were super obviously they were there. My mom was
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: like super supportive. She was like, I'll do like whatever
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: I need to do to make this better for you. Um.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: And then they were like, we're gonna like sit you
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: up in therapy. So I went to therapy a couple
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: of times, but I like hated it. Um. And so
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: they I was like, I asked him, I was like,
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: I don't. I can't do therapy anymore, Like pull me
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: out of therapy. I think it did like two sessions, um.
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: And then it's kind of like I just kind of
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: buried it and forgot about it for a long time. Uh.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: And I still don't really think about it often. Like
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: you know, I was ten years old, so my memory
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: isn't like super strong from those times. I remember who's
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: my best friend? And I remember like obviously the visual
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: of it happening. But what's funny is then that fast
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: forward ten well, I guess twelve years when I was
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: twenty two, when my best friend overdosed. He was found
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: dead in a bathtub uh, the day that we were
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: supposed to drive to Connecticut together. And as an adult,
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: like obviously I had maybe like matured a little bit
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: grown process my emotions more. That death hit me a
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: lot harder than I think, even like the death of
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: my mother, because I was just like older and I
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: just I guess uh felt things more deeply, and so
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: that one was pretty challenging. We had like a like
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: a like a wake or whatever. We all got together
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: to to like commemorate our friend Alex, and I remember
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: I like give, I like went up there to give
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: a speech in front of like thirty of our friends,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: and I like broke down and started like crying like uncontrollably,
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: which is pretty uncommon for me, especially as it pertains
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: that kind of trauma. Like I remember at Hunter's funeral,
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: I was like running back up and forth, like giving
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: speeches about some great memories at Hunter and I had together,
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: and I was like smiling and laughing and having fun
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: with it because like I was remembering the good times, right.
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: But then with Alex, like I wasn't able to do that,
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: and I just kind of like broke down and like
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: I couldn't even get words that sort of thing. And
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: with my mom it was a little bit different, like obviously,
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: like my family was super close with her, but we
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: didn't have like it wasn't like I was like giving
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: speeches to my like not speeches, but like talking to
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: my friends about things. It was kind of more just
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: like me processing everything internally. Um. So, like the dead
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: at ten with Hunter was hard, but in the death
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: at fifteen from my mom was super of it. In
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: the death that twenty two for Alex was like probably
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: the hardest, at least on the surface, like at least
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: like emotionally. Obviously the death of my mom was probably
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: the most influential. But I don't know. Death definitely has
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: um a massive impact in all of our lives, but
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: especially yours. Um at three separate segments, at three separate
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: pivotal years of your life. It's weird that it came
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: at like very very different times, right, I don't know
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: how has that affected you, don't, I don't know. I
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: really think about it. I think it Remember when I
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: said earlier, like I think I struggle with empathy because
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I just like I know that I've been through a
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: lot of those bad things. And even when I was,
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: like I said, when I was ten years old. I
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: was sitting there. I was like, why am I crying?
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: There's no point for me to cry because I can't
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: change anything. So like when I see something bad happen,
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: or when something comes to me and they're like, hey,
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: this happened and I'm really sad, I can be like, Okay,
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: well I can help you through this, and I want
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: to help you through this. UM. But in the back
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: of my head the entire time, I'm thinking, like, just
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: like get over it, because like it's done with and
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: the only thing that you can now control is your
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: reaction to it, and like your state of mind and
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: your well being moving forward. So there's no point really
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: in dwelling on those negative things that happened in the past.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: And I go back and forth on to whether or
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: not that's like a good thing or not. UM like
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: to be able to like look back and cry, Like
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: sometimes I'll look back on my mom's passing and like
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: cry a little bit and just like be like feel
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: good after like a nice cry, you know what I mean. UM,
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: But I think like overall, I don't try to let
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: it affect me too much. And like my advice for
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: people as like calloused, as it might sound, is just
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: to be like, yeah, just like I think happier thoughts,
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. No, I don't, um, because
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's always an option, but it is. Though.
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: That's kind of the point, is like that's really the
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: only option is to deal with things like yeah, you can, ah,
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: you can like dwell on it and like let it
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: affect you negatively for the longest time, but at the
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: end of the day, like that's just time wasted dealing
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: with this the thoughts unless you're actually growing from the thoughts, right,
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: unless you're actually like sitting down and processing things and
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: they being like, Okay, like this sucked. Um, I'm gonna
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: remember like all the positive times and all the good
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: memories and try to like make them proud through my
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: life moving forward. But if you're like having consistent negative
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: thoughts about something like that, then the only thing you
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: really can do is be like, Okay, well, I'm just
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: gonna change it around and be positive about it, you
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. I would imagine what I'm thinking
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: through right now is though when you duly and and
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: I get Hunter put a huge role in your life,
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: but you were ten and like life at tin is
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: is a lot about having fun and SI. Yeah, it's
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: pretty simple. But as you lose your mother and then Alex,
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: there's huge pieces of your life that now are being taken,
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: it's not so simple. And there there is a there's
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: a value that they held in your life that is
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: now gone. How do you how do you look at
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: the how do you replace those things? Do you replace them?
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: I don't think you replace them. I think that's uh.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: Malcolm Gladwell obviously a great author. I remember I can't
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: remember which book it was that he wrote. I think
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: it was Tipping Point perhaps, but he said something along
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: the lines of no child is aware of how unique
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: their situation is. And because every child thinks that their
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: childhood is exactly like everyone else's, you know what I means.
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: So like when I'm tend I think like everyone else
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: is going through the same stuff I'm going through in
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: my situation isn't unique. When I'm fifteen, I think the
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: same thing. I think, like my life is just my
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: life and it's not like wholly unique in any sort
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: of way. Um, but yeah, you're right. I was obviously
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: much more affected practically speaking, by the death of my
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: mom than I was by obviously Hunter or Alex I
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: kind of like turned the world upside down in a
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: lot of ways. But but again I was just like
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: dealing with it, like you haven't really no choice but
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: to just put it all aside and figure it out
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: as you go, you know. Yeah, and I and I
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: think though the those moments, though, den are like the
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: ones that always feel like they they hit the hardest,
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: they're the hardest to process, but they're there the things
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: that connect us the most. So there's a lot of
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: people out there listening that have have obviously related with
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: you because of the deaths of friends or close family members,
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: and I think your story is one that they listened
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: to and and sit on. I would imagine anxiously going
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: how do you do it? Like how do you continue
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: to move forward in the midst of great pain and
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: great sorrow? And to those people that are saying that
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: and looking at you, is that that figure to help
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: them respond? What would you say? Well, I just some
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: think you really have much of another option. It's like,
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: if you're not moving forward, then you're standing still and
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: moving backwards, And it's like, well do you want to
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: look back and be like Okay, well I just wasted
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: all that time feeling sorry for myself, feeling sorry for
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: the people around me, feeling sorry for my situation, or
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: did I use that time to figure it out and
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: kind of grow from it. And it's obviously it's easier
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: said than done. Um, they were like some pretty dark
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: times when I was like between fifteen and eighteen, I
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: like basically lived by myself, Like my dad kicks my
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: brothers out of the house, and then he was gone
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: all the time, either traveling for work or visiting his
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: I think his mom was sick in New Jersey at
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: the time. Um, And so I spent a lot of
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: time alone and like a house made for six people, right,
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: which is just a weird it's a weird, eerie situation. Um.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: But I never felt like, I don't know, it never
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: felt like a challenge, you know what I mean, because
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: it just felt it was just what was. And so
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. I struggle with empathy where it's
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: it's like I can't really put myself in those shoes
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: because I just felt I've always felt like whatever you're
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: given is like the hand that you're supposed to be playing,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: and because of that, like you just kind of find
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: a way to make that handle winning hand. You know
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Do you ever feel resentment then towards
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: myself life? I mean if if you're sitting there and
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: you look around, you go I've I mean, I had,
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: ten years old, had to witness my best friend get
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: hand on the set of road. I've lost my mother
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: at a young age, and at twenty two, I lost
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: my best friend. I can move forward, but what I
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: would feel, and this maybe is just me, is a resentment.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: I would still move forward, that can happen, but I
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: would carry on this this kind of like chip on
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: my shoulder saying this isn't fair. Um. I think the
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: death of my mom really really brought that side out
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: of me where I was like, this is both like
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: this doesn't make sense, this isn't fair. Um. The Testical
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: story was a big one too. I was like, this
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: doesn't make it, Like why me? Why me? Of all
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: people was I chosen? It's a funny story, but like
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: really did hurt, Like you know, yeah, likely I thought
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: my life was like transformed in a negative way forever,
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: more so than because I was young. I didn't know
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: any better. Um, but with my mom too, it's it's
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: tough losing a mother or a parent, especially obviously losing
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: anyone is difficult. But like a lot of my friends
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: that I was like super super close with in high school,
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: like they all had families that were like super tight
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: and they were always super supportive or like, if you
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: ever need anything, like you can come to us and
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: ask for it. But that was I think that's kind
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: of a reason why I kind of didn't really ever
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: feel the need to share my story post college or
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: anything like that, like an adulthood was because, uh, no
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: one really understands until they experience it. And so my
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: friends when I the people I was friends within college
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: are in high school, they all had like very well
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: off families. Everyone was wealthy, everyone was happily married. They
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: didn't really deal with much adversity in their lives, and
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: so I did. I didn't feel comfortable sharing my story
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: with those people because they didn't they didn't get it,
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Um, And so I kind
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: of just swept it under the rug and and kind
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: of kept quiet about it for a long time until
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: obviously Bachelorrette, when I shared it with However, many people
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: watched The Bachelorette UM, but yeah, and it wasn't just
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: the story of your mom that was brought out. There
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: is this master storyline that I know you don't like,
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: but but your dad was also highlighted then because there's
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: been this disconnect then that was at least portrayed during
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: the show there. Well, what's funny about the my old
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: dad situation is it's like, I've never really put myself
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: in his shoes. I never really considered what it was
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: like to lose your wife at fifty years old. He's
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: never cooked a meal in his life for anyone, Like,
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: he's never had to take care of anyone. He just
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: made money and like funded our family for my mom
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: to take care of us. Right, So it's not like
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: he knew any better than to do what he did,
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: which was basically disconnected and do what he thought was best.
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: And like he even asked him now, he he doesn't
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: think he did anything wrong, and I think he really
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: believes that I didn't do anything wrong. But from my perspective,
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: he did everything wrong. But that doesn't make him. That
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: doesn't make what he did wrong. You know, he was
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: just dealing with it the only way that he really
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: knew how, and that's only something that I've kind of
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: come around on recently where it's like I can't really
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: blame the guy for for bailing out when I was
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: fifteen or whatever, because that was like his way of
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: dealing with his dramatic loss of his wife that he's
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: been married to for the past thirty years. Um. Sure,
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: I always kind of considered like the loss of my
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: mom to be like this weird everything obviously, but like
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: I always kind of wish that it brought our family
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: closer together rather than like it was kind of acted
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: like a bomb that like put us put us all
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: further apart um. And with my dad specifically, yea, like
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: he him and I had this this weird uh dynamic
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: on the show. And I remember being in high school
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: and going to school every day, and like I got
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: in trouble a lot. I was like always I was
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: like the one obvious responsible for getting myself to school,
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: which means I was late basically every single day, which
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: means I was in detention and in suspension, etcetera all
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: the time. I remember a couple of times the principle
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: would pull me aside and be like, what's the deal,
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: Like should we get your dad in here to like
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: talk about this, and I remember always being like, no,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: I hate my father. I never want to be like him.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: Don't even talk to him, like I don't even want
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: to be part of this conversation. Um, And I was
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: just like so vehemently like my dad sucks. I hate
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: him so much. I hate him so much. And eventually,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: like the principle would be like, okay, like I won't
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: tell my I won't tell your father. Eventually obviously they
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: tell my father, and it just I kind of continue
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: to drive a wedge between us. And there were like
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: moments where we would like put things aside bygones, be bygones,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: like my father drove me out to my university on
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: to like you know, what is it like visiting weekend
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: where you gonna check out and makeus you want to
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: go to school there. So like we like had salvage
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: the relationship like weirdly a couple of times, but ultimately
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: I ended up falling back apart. I think I think
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: it's just like the Ungler curse where we can't really
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: stay communicative with each other and we don't really stay
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: in touch with people. Um. And then through high school
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: like or through I'm sorry, through college, we weren't never
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: really close and then uh we like when I moved
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: to l A. I saw him for a couple of
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: days before I moved to Los Angeles. Two years later,
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: I go on the show, and I didn't really talked
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: to him since seeing him on my way from Denver
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: to l A. Like stopped by for like a day
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: and I hung out with him. But then since then,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: like it was two and a half years between that
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: and going on The Bachelorette, hadn't talked to him, I
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: hadn't seen him whatever. And I knew going into that
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: hometown that he was going to act like everything was
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: like hunky dory, everything was like okay um, And I
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: was like so deep in my own two where I
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I'm just gonna call him
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: out for it right now on national television, which in
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: hindsight probably wasn't the best idea, but I was just
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: like I didn't like that necessarily, the facade that was
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: being put on that like we were like a loving
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: family that we all looked out for each other and
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: that we all like we're just super tighten it, because
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: we weren't. And then the second I saw him, like
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: try to pretend that we were. I was like, you
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: know what, I'm just gonna like lean into this and
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: be like this is just isn't right? Um? And so yeah,
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: that that whole experience on the show. What's funny is
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: like my dad loves the experience on the show, you know,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: Like he he'll even be like, yeah, dude, you were
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: both to me on the show, but it was the
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: best experience of my life. Why he he's a narcissist,
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: just like just like me, just like my brother is
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: just like my sister. He he loves the attention that
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: the show gave him for for however much time it
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: gave it to him, um, good or bad. Like he
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: just like loved being in the spotlight quote unquote for
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: that short amount of time. Ah. I would like to
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: think that I don't reach that level of narcissism. I
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: hope I don't. But yeah, he's he's got a funny
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: mentality on it. And like we've obviously like prepared our
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: relationship to some extent between then and now, Like he
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: helped me rebuild my van and build out the living
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: quarters of it a little bit. I like see him
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: maybe like one once to twice twice a year to
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: two or three times a year now, Um, and there's
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: not really any love lost. Like he's he's getting older,
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: and I know that at some point he's gonna die
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: before I die, hopefully. Like that's how it works. You
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: obviously want your kids to outlive your parents. Um, and
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: I I don't want to live with the regret of
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: not having a better relationship with my father after it's
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: no longer to be had. Like after I can't you know,
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: salvage anything. So uh, I go back and forth and
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: like I try to make it work. And you know,
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: obviously he lives his life. I live my life, and
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: whenever we get together, it's like him kind of catching
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: me up on all of his things and him talking
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: the whole time, and it's great and we like to
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: see each other. But then it's just like in a
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: reminder of like okay, Yea'll see again in six more
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: months or two more months or however long it is.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: Just it's just like, you know, obviously people kind of
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: grow apart. I guess would there have been an option
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: to bring it, to bring the family together, like because
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: of the passing of your mom, was there ever a
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: pivotal point where it did kind of break the family apart. Um. Well,
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: I think that's just actual passing of it. So my
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: brothers and my father all but it heads constantly. My
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: dad was like an alcoholic for a long time. He's
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: since been sober for I think like ten years or
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: something like that, but for a long time he drank
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: a lot, and I think that like tensions were high
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: because you know, my brothers were like maybe like eighteen
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: to three or twenty four living in the house, and
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: my dad was like, you guys need to move out,
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: like get your own place, figure out, get your life
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: together sort of thing. Um, And that kind of created
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: some tenacity between the three of them, more so one
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: of my brothers and the other. But ah, that was
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: kind of a challenging thing too, because it's like one
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: of my brothers was like my best friend and like
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: he you know, I like respected him a lot, I
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: liked him a lot, and then to see him and
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: my father getting such heated arguments with each other, I
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: was like, well, I love my brother and he's like
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: he's my role model essentially, and if he's fighting my dad,
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: then I should probably fight my dad too, And like,
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: you know, it's just kind of one of those things
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: where it's like a slippery slope or like a snowball
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: effect where things just kind of got progressively worse for
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: no one and no one was at fault for any
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: of it, you know what I mean. They're just one
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: of those weird things. I hear all this and one
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: of the you know we we mentioned at the beginning
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: of the podcast, one of the criticisms that you um
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: that you get the most, that you're not unfamiliar with
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: is Dean's got to grow up. Yeah. You know what's
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: really interesting after I hear all this is it made
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: sense to me is you you grew up at a
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: really young age, and I wonder if you Matt and
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: there's no this is gonna be a weak statement, but
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: you mastered adulthood at such a young age that now
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: you can play around with it a little bit. Uh.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: May perhaps I like to think that I'm never gonna
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: grow up, though honestly, I guess I see. I see
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: your point, Like I had to grow up, support myself
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: whatever from fifteen until now. I had to grow up
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: maybe a little earlier. But also it's like I don't
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: ever really want to lose like that child like spark
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: that I think that we all kind of look back
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: and be like, dang, I wish I was like that.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: But you built in the You built in the necessities
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: to at least making your life function at such a
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: young age that now you know them so clearly that
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: you like that, you may that you you you hold,
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: you fight hard to hold onto that childlike spark because
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: a lot of your childhood was taken from you. I
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: can understand that. That That makes sense, I will say one
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: of the metapsychologist. I don't. I'm not like diagnosing that.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying I'm hearing this. I'm saying it ten
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: years old. If I had to put myself in a
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: position of seeing my friend get hit on the side
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: of the road and then lose my mom a few
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: years later, and then at twenty two, kind of like
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: I would say my twenty early twenties were like late teens.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: Early twenties were the years that like literally had If
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: I would have experienced pain during that time, like real pain,
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: I don't think I would have processed it because it
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: felt like a year's almost wasted of just bliss in
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: college and euphoria, like if those things happen to be
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: like they happened to you, and they dramatically changed your
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: course leading up to who we know today. How old
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: are you know? You're not too far removed from those years.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: I will say one of the one of the most
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: challenging things were not the most challenging things. But like
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: I said, I grew up with a lot of kids
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: who had like well to do families, a basically like
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: security blankets, security nets, right, I guess I always kind
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: of looked around at them too and resented them in
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: a sense where I was like, look, if you fail
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: miserably at whatever you want to do, like reach for
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: the stars, you fail, you have them to lean on
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: or like, they'll support you, they'll put you up, they'll
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: like bring you back into their home and take care
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: of you. If I do that, I'm gonna be living
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: on the streets because I don't have anywhere to go
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: other than wherever I can put myself, you know what
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: I mean. And so for the longest time, I was
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: always like, I don't have I don't I don't have
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: a safety that I don't have anything to do unless
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: I do it now and figure it out. And so
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: I think that's maybe kind of what you're getting at
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: where I was like I was, everything was so on
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: me for the longest time, where now I guess I
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: have the ability to be like, Okay, I can kind
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: of do whatever I want, and so I'm gonna do that.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: You know, I completely get it. And I've never thought
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: about that with you, Deane until now. I'm never half Um,
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: it's a good psychoanalysis. It's just it's the part of
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: this podcast that I enjoy the most because getting down
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: and hearing your story. UM, I don't know if it
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: allows things to make sense, because afterwards we're gonna walk
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: out of here and we're gonna still struggle, and I'm
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: gonna get upset with you because you do lack in
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: your communication now and then and I don't hear from
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: you for days. Um what I still don't know why. Um,
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to blame it on the Angler curse.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: So that's the thing. I have no excuses for that
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: type of stuff now, So I would never be like, oh,
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: I'm this way because of I don't know genetics or
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: because of the traumatic experience that I had as a kid.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: I have no excuse to not be communicative with you
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: other than you don't like me ben Um. But all
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: of it makes sense, which is why this podcast means
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: so much. I mean, I'm glad I'm doing it with you. Uh, Dean,
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: I want to get into what led you to be
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: on the Bachelorette, But before we do, we're gonna take
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: a break before we come back with Dean. I'm gonna
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: take a second. At the end of the podcast, you're
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: gonna hear a segment with one of my buddies, Bob Dalton,
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: talking about sackcloth and ashes. Uh blanket company giving blankets
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: to um people without homes all across the US. Uh.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: Their partnership with my company generous. So make sure you
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: tune in and wait to the end of the podcast
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: conversation with myself and Dalton. But until that conversation, I
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: am here with Dean Ungler, fan favorite from The Bachelorette,
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise two times over, and Bachelor Winner Games.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: We've we've caught up with Dean so far, but now
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: we're getting into this stuff that listeners, you're familiar with Dean.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: How do you end up on the show? Uh? But
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: how did you end up on the show? Why do
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: you turn this on me? I was signed up through
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: a friend and then I just went through it with
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: myself and I kept doing the process after they sent
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: in my first like application, I just kept did a
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: video and I did all that stuff the normally to
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: do it. Um, well, I guess we can go back
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: to your season of the Bachelor. So we were watching
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: your season while we weren't watching I've never really watched
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: the show before going on it? Did you? Um? Off?
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: And on? Yeah? My mom and I spent time when
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: i'd be home. We loved watching it together. But when
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: I was away at like I wouldn't, it was just
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: like my thing with her, which is great. That's a
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: nice the tradition to have. So what one of my
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: best friends loved the show, and it was always kind
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: of this thing that we ragged on him for. He
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: held watched it by himself. You know, he doesn't like
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: doing things alone, so sometimes he would like rope and
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: coaxes coaxes friends into watching it with him. Um. I
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: remember one time he made me watch Caitlin Bristow's season.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: Funny enough, I think it was with her one on
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: with Nick. I hadn't watched it again. Um. He was
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: the one that I moved to Los Angeles with so
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: your season was on, and I remember he made me
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: watch a couple episodes of your season with you, and
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, man, that Kaylea Quinn girl. There's
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: something about her that I just like, really adore and admire. Um.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: And so I was working one day downtown Los Angeles
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: and my friends were like, dude, there's a casting call
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: and like Rancho Cucamonga like an hour and a half away,
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: and I didn't have a car at the time, and
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: I was like, I think Kayla was like just maybe
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: announced as the bachelorette, and I was like, I gotta go,
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: Like she's my girl. I want to figure this out.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: Ended up obviously not going, and then Judge got anound
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: the next day anyway, so it wasn't a big deal.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: UM put that to bed for like a year or
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: something like that. And then a year later, like I'm
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: at work again and that same friend of mine calls
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: me and he goes, Dean, I'm gonna do something and
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: I want you to do I want you to follow
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: through with it, no matter what it is. And what
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: that something was was he got me on a phone
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: call with Amy, the producer of this podcast. We had Uh,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: of course so much who has a great relationship with
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: the show's executive producer, and so Amy and I talked
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: on the phone for like an hour and a half
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: and she was like, I love I love your story,
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: I love everything about this. Let's figure this out. Let's
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: try to get you on. And then so the next
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: day I received a call from one another executive producer.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: Talked to her for like an hour and a half
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: and she goes, Oh my gosh, like this you're you're fantastic.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: Let's get you streamline it. This is like in February
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: of the show films in March. Um and I fortunately
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: lived local in Los Angeles, and so they're like, come
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: into these uh, coming to the office. Meet some of
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: the producers will give you like the psych test, we'll
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: give you the physical, we'll give you the background check.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: But we need to like do it as quickly as
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: possible because the show starts filming in like a couple
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: of weeks. Um and I was at a point in
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: my life where I was single. My girlfriend and I
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: had broken up a few months prior. We were still
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: on like friendly terms, but obviously it wasn't really gonna
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: amount to anything. Um, and so I was like, you
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: know what, why not, Like, I don't really think I'm
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: going to go on the show. I don't like, I
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: don't I think they'll find a way to not want
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: me on the show. So I did everything. Things started
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: like progressing, and they were like, every time you get
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: two dollar step in the process, You're like, is this real?
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: I don't really know. Um. Everything happened so fast, and
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: so eventually they were like, yeah, we like we want you.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: March thirteenth is your first day filming. Um. And there's
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: like March five when they told me this or something
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: like that, and I go like, are you sure? Like me,
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: is this really like the real Bachelorette? So it's all
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: like it is very confusing, especially if you're someone that's
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: like not like I don't watch the show very often,
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: but I knew about it. I watched like a couple
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: episodes of Jojo season the day before going on to
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: like kind of get an understanding for it a little
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: bit more. Uh. But if I just like kind of
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: did everything that they told me to do, and every
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: time I went in talk to them, they're like, yeah,
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: you're great. We think you're fantastic. We would love to
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: have you on, and every time I was like, really,
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: are you sure like me? Um? And then I went
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: on and yeah, I think pretty pretty public knowledge. I
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: packed to be on the show for like I expected
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: to be gone night one back like a small Duffel
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: bag backpack, uh, two suits, and I just like I
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: thought I was gonna go home. I didn't tell any
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: of my friends until like three of my best friends,
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: obviously the one that nominated me, one of my roommates,
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: and then like the day before I left, were having
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: like a barbecue and I like told my guy friends,
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I'm going on the Bachelorette tomorrow, and
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: no one else knew. And then funny enough, actually the
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: first day that I was on the Bachelorette was the
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: live show with Rachel, and so like everyone knew right
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: away that I was on the show, but I didn't
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: have my phone for the next two and a half months,
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: so I couldn't like really talk to anyone about it.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: But yeah, that's how it happened. My friend just nominated
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: me through Amy funny enough, and uh, it turned into
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: be a much bigger thing than I ever expected it
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: to be. Amy Schugman, who he's talking about who helped
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: him also start his new career and podcasting with the
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: help I Suck At Dating podcast. Uh, So go to
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: your um wherever you listen to I heeart podcasts, Spotify,
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: iHeart dot Com podcast iTunes. I don't know, and I
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: mean that podcast Help I Suck At Dating is fitting? Uh,
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: because of your time on the Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise,
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: your time on the Bachelrette, I would say we talked
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: a lot about kind of the pivotal moments of it.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: Um your time with Rachel did end after hometowns um
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: any residual consequences, good or bad from that season of
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: the Bachelerette? Do you still have relationship with Rachel Um? Well,
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: first and foremost, I was shocked I got sent home.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: When I did, I thought I was. I was like,
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: because I saw a couple of my good friends at
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: my hometown. They didn't er any of it, unfortunately, but
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: I gotta hang out with him after like the night
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: portion of my family a little bit. It was like
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: an emotional time. So like they like, let me I
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: have a couple of drinks of my friends like decompress
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: and unlined a little bit, and I was like talking
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: to them house like you, guys, I think she's gonna
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: choose me, Like I'm pretty sure I'm the one, and
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: they're like, wow, that's crazy. And like three days later
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: I texted them I was yeah, because I'm not the one.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: Were you ready to get engaged Rachel? Um? I think
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: at the time, I will. I don't know. In hindsight,
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: it's easy to say no, that I wasn't ready to
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: get engaged, but it's it's hard to put myself back
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: in that situation and say one way or the other
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: whether I was or not. Obviously Rachel made the right choice.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: She's she's married to the love of life, Brian, So
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: it's weird even like put myself back in that situation
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: at all. Um, But do I have a relationship with
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: Rachel now? Not really? Like she obviously leads her life
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: and I live my life. Um G, yeah, I don't know.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: What was the next question? That was it? Do you
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: still have any like any any residual things in the Bachelor?
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like your time of the Bachelotte ended,
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: and it's really we know you best through your time
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: on Bachelor in Paradise, in bachel Order Game, I'm more well,
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: more well defined and known for my time in Bachelor
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: in Paradise, and I will say my time on Bachelotte.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: I mean it went overarchingly incredibly well, Like I was
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: with Peter Krauss, you know, a fan favorite. There were
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: really no negative things that were said about me, which
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: was like and all honestly a bad first depression. Like
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: it sucks that the first taste of like publicity that
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: I've ever experienced my life was so overwhelmingly positive, because
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: then that set me up to be so crushed by
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: any negative publicity that I would received later on, which
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: I obviously I never believed it. Um So my tagline
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: was the perfect Ben you literally can't set yourself up
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: for I get it any more failure than that. The
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: perfect band. Well, you are a perfect tense. I guess
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 1: that makes sense. I wonder what mine would have been,
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: you think, because I didn't. I didn't limit a vent
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: at the time. I was like a normal guy at
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: the time. I mean, you had yeah, you still to
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: this day. You you have an aura and a uniqueness
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: about you that I think would have added some great taglines.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: And even then, people like you you have the movie
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: star thing going for you. I don't know what that means,
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: but I appreciate it. I think it's Yeah, it's a
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: huge compliment. Yah, I meanly at least a minute as
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: it so like they talked to me about Bachelor for
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: for a hot minute. Actually, would you've done it? Yes,
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: I said I would. I absolutely would never not like
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: refuse that opportunity. I think I talked to you actually
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: about a little bit, because we're talking about like money
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and I just wanted to make
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: sure I was getting a fair value for whatever the
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: role entailed. Um. And when I met with the I
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: never met with like flies or any of them. But
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: I met with like a couple of the executives for
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: like n z K, the production team that makes The Bachelor,
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: and I obviously met with the executive producers of the show,
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: like Alan and Bennett and all kind of stuff. And
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: I'm prettyure this is all fair to share. I don't
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: really see why it wouldn't be. But we were talking,
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: and this is a post Bachelor in Paradise filming pre airing,
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: so they knew that things weren't gonna go look good
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: for me. Um, But they they I think they sensed
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: that like Peter, something wasn't gonna happen with him, which
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: obviously you in neveratively fell through. I don't know exactly why,
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: but um, they were talking to me about it and
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: they were like, yeah, how do you feel about this?
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know if I believe
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: in the institution of marriage as much as I as
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: you need me to, I definitely don't believe in the
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: idea of a diamond engagement ring. Um. I don't want
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: my family to be a part of it at all
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: because I saw how you guys like made it a
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: big ordeal and I know that they would like Dean
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: and Dean's father me to again sort of thing like
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: that would have been a central storyline. I didn't want that. Um.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: And I said all these things, like to the executive
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: producers and like the studio heads, and they were like, well,
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: that's not really what we want to hear. It just
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: isn't gonna work. You don't like what the concepts about.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: You're not into the symbolic ring that is makes the show,
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: and you don't we don't. You don't want to be
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: part of the main storyline that we want you Yeah, yeah,
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: not cool. Um, but they're still Like It's funny because
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: they have a good way of making you feel like
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: you're still like the guy, you know what I mean,
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: Like they still I still after leaving every meeting, I
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: was still like, Wow, that went really well. Yeah, you
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: don't doubt it. They they have mastered the art of humans.
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: They have to direct communicate and get people to where
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 1: they want. And honestly, like, I didn't want to be
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: the Bachelor, but I would never have said note to
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 1: the opportunity, No you can't. And I mean, you know,
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: today the Bachelor holds very little role in my life.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: I mean I still get asked about it every day
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: and I still do a podcast that is about the
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: bat Like, so from the outside looking in, it holds
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: a tremendous role in my life. For my day to
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: day life, it holds very little. Right. I have a
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: girlfriend that is not at all associated with it. She
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 1: doesn't even know a lot about the show. Um, I
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: live in Denver that with with nobody that's from the
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: Bachelor around me, and I haven't gone to a Bachelor
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: event in years, Like they're I'm very disconnected at this point. Um,
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: but I don't regret a second of it. Because of
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 1: the people I've met working on the show and outside
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 1: of the show, and if I feel like and for
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: you too, and tell me if I'm wrong. It's helped
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: us live out are our biggest passions. Absolutely. I'm incredibly
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: grateful for the time that I had on the show
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: and the things that it's allowed me to be able
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: to do. I remember, like being a kid when I
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 1: was in middle school, thinking things like, man, one day,
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: I just really want to skydive, or like I want
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: to scoop it. I wanna want her to fly. I
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 1: want to travel to Egypt, like all these things that
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: I've always wanted to do since the super young age,
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: but I never out the ability to because I was
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: making a year working fifty hours a week, living in
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: Los Angeles, spending two thousand dollars a month on rent.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: It's just like there was no way to save money.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: And the Bachelor and it's some weird like in a
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: way that I initially never expected it to gave me,
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: like the time to do things. I got to quit
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: my job, the financial freedom to do go put the
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: places I wanted to go, and like the publicity you're
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: notoriety to I don't want to say, be given things,
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: but like to be to have doors open for you
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: to go places that you never really would expected to
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: be able to go. You know what I mean. I
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 1: want to take a second here and pause because I'm
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: I'm sensing when we get to this point in the podcast, Um,
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 1: everything leading up to this, this conversation about the Bachelor
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: feels so good and real, and then the Bachelor hits
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: and almost like I feel like it's it's a little
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: bit weak, it's a little bit more shallow than what
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: I'd want to do with you. But I think there
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: is this and what we're talking about here, and like
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: we're saying, is the Bachelor. Let's legitimize a little bit.
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: The Bachelor has played a huge role in your life,
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: like it or not, and it's also allowed you to
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 1: do and be a fuller version than of yourself than
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: you ever dreamed of. So it is important for us
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 1: to talk about the Bachelor because these things have helped
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: define you for now how many years? How long has
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: it been since you been on the show, and I
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: think two and a half years of your life in
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 1: your mid twenties, the Bachelor has been a part of it.
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 1: Leading up to this, after Rachel's season of Bachelor. We
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: found you in Bachelor in Paradise, Bachelor in Paradise. This
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: time Bachelor in Paradise helped lead to uh you now
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: having the help I Second Dating podcast. And I want
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: to know why, Dean, your time on Bachelor Paradise was
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: not great? That the first time around? Right, the first
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: time around is hard? Um, there was a lot of
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: things that happened during that that that season, um, that
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: I think affected people's image of you. And I don't
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: believe it's at all why they want you on the
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 1: in depth episode, but I want to I think people
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: want to know why. And there's a thousand questions I
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 1: could throughout you, like why did you do it the
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: way you did? And I don't think that would that
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: would be fair. I want to know what was it
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: about that season in Bachelor in Paradise that you look
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: back on and that you either regret or that you're
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: proud of, or why did it go so wrong? Um? Yeah,
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: I guess we can kind of dive into that a
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: little bit. So when you're on the Bachelorette, obviously you're
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: not working, you're not getting paid, but you still have
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 1: your bills to pay. Back home, And like I said earlier,
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 1: I was making fort k fort k a year living
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 1: in Los Angeles, a lot of expenses, not a lot
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 1: of income. I was flat broke by the time I
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: got off Bachelor atte I think I had like hundred
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: and forty dollars in my bank account and all all
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: of my bank I had checking in and saving account
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: hundred four dollars across to my name. Basically didn't own
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: a car, didn't own anything. Um, it's just a weird
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: spot to be in. Like you're basically starting at zero.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: And like I said earlier, like I don't have a
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 1: safety net or anything like that. So it's like if
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: I hit zero in my bank account and I am
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: basically on the streets, right, I'm sure I could like
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 1: find a friend to bring me into their house too,
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: let me like couch her for a little bit. But
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. No one wants to
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: do that. Um. And so I was off the show.
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 1: And let's see end of May and Paradise. No, I'm sorry,
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: end of the beginning of May. Paradise began filming end
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: of May, beginning of June. I don't know about those days.
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 1: There's it's something like that that's off the show for
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: a month, three to four weeks between Bachelorette filming and
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise filming, and I had to make a decision, um,
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: go back to work for three weeks and then leave
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: again to potentially go to Bachelor in Paradise or two.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: I guess I didn't really know what the decision was between.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: But I had to borrow money for my brother. I
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 1: borrowed a couple hundred dollars tied me over. But the
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: decision to go to Paradise, and this might sound messed up,
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: it was entirely financial. They were like, we're gonna offer
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: you this much money to come onto a TV show
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: where we're gonna feed you, give you drinks, in a
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: place to sleep for however long you're here. And I
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: was like, if I'm on that show for three days,
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: I have more money bank acount I've ever had in
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 1: my entire life. Absolutely signed me up, and I remember
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: talking to my friends before I left. I was like, yeah,
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 1: like I might make a thousand, two thousand dollars on
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: this show and then go You're gonna have two thousand
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 1: dollars in your bank account, that's crazy. How I know,
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 1: that's insane. So the motive to go on bachelom in Paradise,
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 1: and again it might sound messed up, was entirely financial
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 1: because I needed to find a way to like obviously
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 1: support myself there after. And this was before Bachelor already
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: even aired, before I had even ever known that song
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 1: as things on Instagram was a thing, and the I
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 1: had entirely processed my relationship with Rachel. There was no
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: hindrance going into bachelom in Paradise, that or anything that
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 1: was holding onto from that first yow Bachelorette, right, I
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 1: just didn't know what was gonna happen again. I thought
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: I would go into bachelom in Paradise, not kiss a
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: single person, not have anyone interested in me, uh, and
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 1: then leave after a couple of days exactly how I
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 1: ended up going into Bachelorette and I'll go into Paradise
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 1: hit it off with Christina. Christina is a beautiful girl
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 1: at the time, the most like beautiful girl I've ever
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 1: seen in my entire life, you know, like I still
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 1: haven't really had a taste of anything that kind of
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 1: comes after the fact. So I was like head over
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: heels for this girl solely just because she was so pretty. Um,
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: and we had both were able to like bond over
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 1: our traumatic past and like these these challenging things that
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 1: we had to go through asque children. Um. And then
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 1: the shutdown happened, and instead of flying from Mexico to
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 1: Los Angeles, where I lived at the time, I decided
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: to fly to Los Angeles to Kentucky, where Christina lived.
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: And I was just like, yeah, I liked this girl.
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 1: Let's see, I hadn't known her for three or four
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 1: days at the time. Let's so if we can like
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: hang out and see if anything goes anywhere. Um. So
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: we fly back to Kentucky, spend a couple of days there. Like,
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: I'm head over heels, like obsessed with this girl. I
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 1: might calling my best friends. I was like, I met
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 1: the best girl, like the greatest girl in the world. Um,
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 1: and she was she is she wasn't is great, She's
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 1: a great person. Obviously things fell apart later on, but
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 1: I remember we then decided to drive to Chicago. From
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 1: Lexington to Chicago, It's like a six hour drive to
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 1: meet up with a couple of our friends who lived
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 1: in Chicago who wanted to go out and party with so,
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 1: like we drove up there, we met up with them,
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: partied a little bit. Things got a little tense between
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: me and Christina, Like we went out for the first
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 1: time to like a club together, and we started like
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 1: it was like our first taste of like our incompatibility whatever. Um,
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: And so I left that. We left that to get
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 1: she had to drive back to Lexington, but I flew
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: to Denver to meet up with my friend to drive
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 1: back to like kind of a long story, weird story,
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 1: but even to get from Chicago to Denver, I like
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 1: had to call my friend Iggy. I was like, Hey,
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: can I borrow eighty bucks to get this flight from
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 1: Chicago to Denver? Because that's how broke I was. And
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 1: I think that drove a lot of insecurity in me
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: as well, because it's like it's hard to it's hard
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 1: to consider yourself like a a viable partner when you
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: don't really have much money, enough money to support yourself,
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So I think that that
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: drove a lot of insecurity through me. Uh. And then
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 1: on my way back from Denver to Los Angeles with
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: my with my buddy, I got the call saying that
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 1: Bachelor and Paradise were to kick back up and we
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 1: would like go back and resume filming in a couple
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: of days. And again I was like great, Like I can.
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 1: I was gonna make like three or three, like two
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 1: or three thousand dollars and I can go back and
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 1: make even more than that, which is fantastic. Um. And
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 1: like things with Christine and I were going fine, but
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 1: there was this weird like after that night in Chicago,
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: things didn't really go well, and like something just didn't
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 1: sit right and I just didn't didn't really feel like
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 1: a long term thing. Um. And again I think that
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 1: it just semmed from a lot of insecurities that I
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 1: possessed at the time, and like uncertainty of what the
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 1: future held. So we go back to Paradise, and I
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 1: guess even before going to Paradise the first time, obviously
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 1: I told the producers I was like super interested in
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: me Danielle, and they obviously knew that, and they decided
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: to send her in. Right after that, the shutdown stopped
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 1: and the show resumed. And this is the girl that
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 1: I like held so highly in my eyes. I was
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: like super attracted to her. She seemed like a really
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 1: interesting person. And then obviously we met on the show
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: and I was like, Wow, this beautiful girl is like
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 1: super into me in the weirdest way. But she like
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 1: she expressed interest in me, but she still like pulled
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 1: away a lot. UM and I like for something like
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 1: something about the chase, like really like ignited to spark
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 1: and interest in me. Um. And then meanwhile, Christina obviously
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: and I had the sister together because we had just
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 1: spent a couple of days in Kentucky together in Chicago, UM,
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 1: and we had known each other for like a week
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: or a couple of weeks at that point. And I
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: don't know, I think that I think that if I
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 1: could go back and do it differently, I don't know
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 1: if I would. It's hard to say. Obviously I would,
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 1: I would, I don't know. I don't think I was
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 1: ready to be in a relationship at the time. I guess,
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 1: really is what it boils down to. I shouldn't have
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 1: gone a bachelor in Paradise because I didn't want to
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 1: be in a relationship, like the fact that it was
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 1: a financial move for me rather than like I want
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: to find someone moved for me. I think really kind
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 1: of with me a lot. Sorry the language. Uh, And
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 1: that's kind of how I've always been in Los Angeles too,
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 1: Like I would never go on dates with the intent
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: to have a girlfriend, you know, Like before I went
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 1: on the TV show, I would never go on dates
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 1: to like they're like, oh, I wonder this girl's like
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 1: a suitable partner for me, you know what I mean. Um,
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 1: So I've always kind of sucked at dating in that sense,
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 1: and then to just go on the show and have
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: it like kind of be nationally televised, it was it
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 1: was a long time coming, right Like even throughout Bachelorette,
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 1: I would get text from like x's or girls that
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 1: I went on dates with, uh, not girls I want
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 1: to dates with, but like okay a girl I dated,
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: and then even like my ex girlfriend, they're like, wow,
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: You're getting a lot of positive attention and like that's
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 1: not really right, um because I just like in a
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 1: in a real world setting, I'm not that's like focused
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: on one person, you know what I mean. And that's
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 1: and is do you believe that is the reason that
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 1: you suck at dating is because it's hard for you
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 1: to focus on one person. It's hard for me to
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 1: especially then it's I'm getting better at this, but it's
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 1: hard for me to I enjoy the good times obviously,
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 1: but it's hard for me to like want to like
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: stick around through the bad times. Like if you get
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 1: an argument, I'm all right, Well, if we're getting an
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: arguments right now, like, there's no reason to stick around.
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: I don't see the value in it, you know what
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 1: I mean. That's something I'm working on, and I think
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 1: I've actually gone a lot from both the show, the
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 1: podcasts and just life in general. Um But at the time,
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, any any whiff of trouble, I'm out,
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 1: you know, like there's no point in sticking around and
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: something it's difficult. What's the point of it? Um? So yeah,
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 1: So it was basically me like Para Actu in Paradise
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: was a more accurate representation of who I was at
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: the time than Bachelorrette for me, you know what I mean.
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 1: And so it was hard, Like I said earlier, it
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 1: was hard to go from that uh pedestal of like
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 1: very well liked contestant to them like very heavily criticized
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: contestant and rightfully so, like I should have been criticized.
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 1: I think I could have handled things obviously much better. Um.
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 1: But but yeah, that was that was a challenging time.
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: And I think a lot of it too, was like
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 1: it was just everything was so new, Like I had
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 1: never really had like an open bar to drink as
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 1: much as I could possibly drink. I never had this
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: much attention from two women that were just like way
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 1: too attractive to be talking to me, you know what
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 1: I mean. Um, And I think I was just kind
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 1: of like a weird in a weird way, like a
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 1: kid in a candy store. So I just didn't really
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 1: have it. Like the paradox of choice is just kind
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: of overwhelming me. Um. And yeah, that that whole saga
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 1: was like pretty taxing on me mentally, um and obviously
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 1: on the two girls as well. But so even though
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: all this stuff that's happening you could watch and say, yeah,
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: this is true, this is how happening, this is just
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: my own issues, it was still taxing on you mentally. Oh.
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 1: I was like super depressed throughout the whole process and
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: walks my girlfriend. H Um. There was a there was
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 1: a lot of like depression and anxiety and stress that
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 1: were going through my head. Wh all that all that
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: was airing. But again it was like, it wasn't like
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 1: unjust like it's not that I shouldn't have been receiving
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 1: that it was it was me because I was just
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 1: acting uh wrongly. I think a lot of it too,
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 1: was like I said, I was like I would get
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 1: really drunk when I was on the show, and I think,
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: in hindsight, like if I could go back, I would
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: just not drink because I would make a lot more
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 1: conscious decisions, just better decisions. Um. Even now, Like I
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: like when I was twenty six, I was like partying
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: a lot a lot. Now at twenty I don't really
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 1: go out ever. You know. We went to the party
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: the other day and I was like the first time
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 1: we were really party together. Calin and I, um and
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: four or five months of dating, which I think is great,
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 1: but we like watching that stuff back. I was like,
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: I was like, yes, this is me who I This
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 1: is like who I am now in this moment of
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: life or whatever, in this in this snapshot of life.
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: And it's just like it wasn't very obviously the best
• 1:32:06
  Speaker 1: version of myself. You know. That's That's one thing that
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 1: I don't think we've seen out of you through television,
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 1: is you upset and I think that's the one thing
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 1: that people probably like, I want to ring your next
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: sometimes and be like you, you aren't showing any emotion here. Um,
• 1:32:24
  Speaker 1: there's been moments, but it's quickly moved on from And
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 1: I think to hear that this really hurt you or
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 1: affected you or allowed you to look inward, I think,
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know, there's a there's a it's it encourages
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 1: me as a friend maybe, but also it hurts because
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 1: I know that it was just I mean, that season
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 1: of life is so confusing because there's a thousand things
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 1: coming at you. You're dating people that you never imagine
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 1: that you'd be dating in your life, right, I mean,
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 1: you're you're batting way out of your league every time
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 1: you talk to a woman in Paradise or on the show.
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 1: And then when it comes back and it feels like
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 1: you're alone in it and everybody's criticizing you it, it
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 1: does get depressing. And and to know that that's how
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 1: it affected you opened my eyes to something I've never seen. Yeah,
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 1: it's it's hard to kind of put myself back in
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 1: that situation too, because there was so it was challenging.
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 1: And I think that the people that I was surrounded
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: by like the people from the show. Specifically I had
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 1: I hadn't really had the chance to get to know
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 1: a lot of people from the show, like super well,
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 1: like I've gotten to know you over the past two
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 1: and a half years. Um, I don't. I mean, I
• 1:33:36
  Speaker 1: don't really know how to say this, but like, I
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 1: like because I continue to date Christina after Bachelor in Paradise, right,
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 1: I did a deal for like a short amount of
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 1: time after the Paradise um, but then I called that
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 1: off because I still have feelings for Christina. The reason
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 1: I called Christina off the first time was because I
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: like didn't like a lot of the things that I
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 1: had heard from other people. But then I realized that
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't be upset by those things, and so, um,
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 1: it was just like this weird bit of confusion that
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 1: I was constantly in but throughout Paradise airing. And I
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 1: don't want to like put Christine on the spot or
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 1: anything like this, but like there was just no support
• 1:34:13
  Speaker 1: from this person that I was like trying to invest
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 1: into and like supposedly cared about me. There was no
• 1:34:18
  Speaker 1: support from her at any moment throughout those times. Maybe
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: like maybe glimpses and very privately but publicly she was
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 1: like very critical of me because I don't know exactly
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 1: why she wanted to play that role I suppose, um,
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 1: and that really took a big toll on me as well,
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 1: where I was like going through this really challenging time
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 1: publicly and and and and openly, but then I wasn't
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 1: really receiving much support on the back end or like
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 1: behind the closed doors. Um, And so that was like
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 1: a super I don't know, it was just a really
• 1:34:48
  Speaker 1: weird time in my life where I like I thought
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 1: that things were supposed to be this way with this person,
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 1: and like I was like trying to convince myself consistently
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 1: that like what was happening was normal and it was okay,
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 1: and it was like easy to look past. But then
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 1: like the longer, like the more time we're on, I
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 1: just began to realize that wasn't normal and it wasn't
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 1: like right, it wasn't okay. So it leads you to
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 1: where you're at now. We we had a stint on
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 1: Bachelor Winter Games. Um, you did walk away from Bachelor
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 1: with Games in a relationship with Leslie. We publicly, Actually
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 1: I was able to be with you and hunder Um
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 1: at one point, Um, that's ended, and it leads you
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 1: up to this paradise this season, um, which was another
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 1: shocking twist for Dean Angler. Um. But here's where Here's
• 1:35:35
  Speaker 1: where I want to sit at for one second, is
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 1: all these things that we've talked about leading up to
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 1: this point have helped me understand you better as a friend.
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 1: And this season on Paradise helped me understand you better
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 1: because yes, from a viewer's perspective, it was entertaining you
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 1: going down there. Uh, your relationship with Kalen, you leaving
• 1:35:55
  Speaker 1: the pain that that cause and going Dean, you've done
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 1: it again. Bring on the criticism, Bring on the critics.
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 1: The charming man is deceitful because charm is deceitful. But
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 1: the man I knew was missing there and you came
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 1: back and you're dating here today. Um. Through the years
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 1: and years that you've been on the show and now
• 1:36:19
  Speaker 1: your second time on Paradise in a time and Winter
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 1: Games and you're talking about sorry, why did you want
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 1: to come back for calin? Uh? Why did I want
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 1: to come back? What did you learn through those things
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 1: about the relationships that have failed? The people that you've
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 1: lost contact with them, assuming at this point Christina and
• 1:36:38
  Speaker 1: Daniel are no longer a part of your life, Rachel, isn't,
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 1: we've clarified, is not really a part of your life.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 1: What is it about these relationships publicly that you've dated
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 1: within that's allowed you to lead learn enough about who
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 1: you're looking for, what you're looking for, and what you
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 1: wanted to say. I'm gonna take the risk, and it's
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 1: not gonna be easy. I'm gonna fly all the way
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 1: back down to Mexico to pick a girl up off
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 1: a beat because I need to know something more about her. Yeah,
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 1: that was an interesting time, um to start kind of
• 1:37:06
  Speaker 1: from the beginning of going to Batch. I think I
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 1: got to call for this bachelor in Paradise around February.
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 1: I was in Japan with my friend. They called me,
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 1: and at the time I was like, absolutely not. I
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: don't want to be in a relationship right now. Like
• 1:37:15
  Speaker 1: I've got these plans to move into a van and
• 1:37:18
  Speaker 1: focus on myself and like explore every avenue of interest
• 1:37:22
  Speaker 1: that I could possibly have, So like, Paradise not gonna
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 1: happen unless you pay me more money than you. I
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 1: literally said, I found out the most money that anyone's
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 1: ever made on the show, and I requested one dollar
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 1: more than that person made. I said, I'm not doing
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 1: it for a dollar less than this number. You are
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 1: a nurse. And eventually it came like I got laughed
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 1: at and hung up on. Basically, they called me back
• 1:37:45
  Speaker 1: a couple of months, a month or two later and
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 1: they're like, Okay, have you reconsidered. I go, yes, I'll
• 1:37:49
  Speaker 1: do it for this much money, still an exorbitant, ridiculous
• 1:37:51
  Speaker 1: amount that is just never going to be approved. Hung
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 1: up on me again. And then eventually I was like
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 1: talking to my friends about it and they're like, you know,
• 1:37:59
  Speaker 1: like whatever. Think. I was talking to Nick about it,
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 1: actually he goes, what do you have to lose? Like,
• 1:38:02
  Speaker 1: you're not You're not like going to miss out or
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 1: anything by going down to the beach. It's it would
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 1: be another fun experience, just like you know yourself better,
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 1: behavi yourself better this time too, So like, yeah, I
• 1:38:11
  Speaker 1: guess I'll give it a go. We'll see what happens. Um.
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 1: I had grown out like my facial like my goute
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 1: a lot randomly, and I like walked the carpet with
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 1: Wells and I saw how disgusting my chin hair looked,
• 1:38:23
  Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, I'm gonna shave off
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 1: this little under part of my gotique, keep the mustache. Um.
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 1: And then I got to Mexico and I still have
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 1: the mustache for the more or less, and I was like,
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna keep this mustache. Walked
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 1: down unto the beach, um, and let's And it's also
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 1: the confidence that we talked about earlier. Yeah, I suppose okay, yeah, no,
• 1:38:45
  Speaker 1: you're right. I don't know. It's it's hard to It's
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 1: easy to like paint the picture of what you expect
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 1: to happen, but then when you get down there, it's like, obviously,
• 1:38:50
  Speaker 1: never really gonna happen how you expected to. Um. I
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 1: thought I was gonna be a gimmick, you know. I
• 1:38:55
  Speaker 1: thought I was gonna walk down to the beach and
• 1:38:56
  Speaker 1: be like, oh, here's Dean back for the fourth time,
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 1: like he's getting hang out for a couple of days,
• 1:39:01
  Speaker 1: maybe like kiss someone and then probably go home because
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 1: he's not taking it seriously. Uh So I walked down
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 1: and see a lot of people I don't know, but
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 1: I see like obviously Christina Blake and Derek, who I
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 1: am friends with for the most part, all of them. Um,
• 1:39:15
  Speaker 1: and then I was like, oh, it's like it's weird
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 1: being back here. I made a conscious decision to stay
• 1:39:22
  Speaker 1: sober the whole time too, just because that's kind of
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: been a downfall of mine through seasons past. And it
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 1: was if you ever think about going on the show,
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 1: do not drink alcohol, just like I have like a
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 1: glass of wine maybe every once in a while, but
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 1: like the first couple of seasons, I was getting like
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 1: black out drunk almost every episode. They're almost every day,
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, because I just like it. There was nothing
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 1: really else to do, and I didn't really have much
• 1:39:45
  Speaker 1: else to do other than that. This time, I didn't drink,
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 1: and it was the best experience out of all of
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 1: them by a landslide. Um. And obviously Caitlin and I
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 1: go on that first date, and Caitlin and I have
• 1:39:55
  Speaker 1: a bit of a history, right, like she d MS
• 1:39:57
  Speaker 1: me before she even went on the Bachelor, uh, and
• 1:40:00
  Speaker 1: so like I knew that there's interest there. I like
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 1: randomly saw her do an interview before I even went
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 1: down to Paradise of her saying like, oh, Dean so attractive,
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 1: and I was like, Wow, this girl really like likes
• 1:40:09
  Speaker 1: me weirdly, um, which in hindsight, like it's I don't know,
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate the fact that she reached out to
• 1:40:15
  Speaker 1: me before even going on the Bachelor, uh, because like
• 1:40:19
  Speaker 1: I think that there's a lot of insecurity that's driven
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 1: from the fact that, like sometimes you feel like people
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 1: are just using you for whatever reason, and um, I
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 1: don't know, anyways, we're going a date goes well, chemistry
• 1:40:30
  Speaker 1: is there. I didn't expect to like this girl. I
• 1:40:31
  Speaker 1: thought that we were going to go on a date
• 1:40:33
  Speaker 1: and I be like, yeah, you know whatever, this girl sucks.
• 1:40:35
  Speaker 1: It turns out like I actually do really like her,
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 1: and time kind of starts to continue to go on,
• 1:40:40
  Speaker 1: and I like I started liking her. But I was
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 1: like so convinced in myself that I was not going
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 1: to leave that beach in a relationship, and the producers
• 1:40:47
  Speaker 1: all knew that too, and Caylin even new that too.
• 1:40:48
  Speaker 1: I told her every single day. I was like, look,
• 1:40:49
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm gonna break up with you in
• 1:40:51
  Speaker 1: the last day of the Passion in Paradise, like just
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 1: understand that. And she I think she like said that
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 1: she understood it, but I think she kind of thought
• 1:40:58
  Speaker 1: that I was like just joking around. Obviously I wasn't
• 1:41:01
  Speaker 1: um And eventually one night, the producers were like, look, man,
• 1:41:05
  Speaker 1: like you're not taking this seriously. You know you're gonna leave. Uh.
• 1:41:08
  Speaker 1: Kalin's expressed interest in this other guy who's probably gonna
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 1: come down in the next couple of days, like it
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 1: would probably be smart of you to get out of
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 1: here now so you can explore that relationship. And I
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 1: was like, you know what, that makes a lot of sense.
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 1: And I agree with it because I was like again,
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 1: still convinced that I wasn't gonna leave in a relationship.
• 1:41:24
  Speaker 1: And so I leave. I fly back to San Diego,
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 1: where my van was, and I drive out to Horseshoe
• 1:41:32
  Speaker 1: Bend and think about things. And when I landed actually
• 1:41:35
  Speaker 1: in San Diego, I like even. I texted my producer
• 1:41:37
  Speaker 1: friend and I was like, listen, man, I'm like, really sad,
• 1:41:39
  Speaker 1: I think I might have made the wrong choice. And
• 1:41:41
  Speaker 1: he was like, just think about it, like blowing up
• 1:41:43
  Speaker 1: for a little bit. Process it. Uh. He's something like
• 1:41:45
  Speaker 1: a full on list of things like coping ideas of
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 1: like go here, think about this, like do this eat
• 1:41:51
  Speaker 1: this like things, just like to kind of like put
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 1: my mind at ease a and be like allows a
• 1:41:57
  Speaker 1: lots of introspection. Uh. And he's like and I was like, look, man,
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 1: it comes sad. I think I made the wrong decision.
• 1:42:02
  Speaker 1: He goes, well, hey, listen obviously for for ratings wise,
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 1: we would love to have you come back on the show.
• 1:42:07
  Speaker 1: It's up to you, obviously at the end of the
• 1:42:08
  Speaker 1: day if you want to come back on or not
• 1:42:10
  Speaker 1: take the night to sleep on it. Text me in
• 1:42:12
  Speaker 1: the morning if you want to come back. We'll book
• 1:42:14
  Speaker 1: you a plant at get and we'll foll you back down. Ah.
• 1:42:17
  Speaker 1: So I drive out towards you Bend, stay there for
• 1:42:19
  Speaker 1: a couple of hours, drive down to Phoenix, book a
• 1:42:21
  Speaker 1: flight from Phoenix to Los Angeles, wake up the next day,
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 1: and uh, I was like, you know what I miss
• 1:42:28
  Speaker 1: hanging around this person that I spent the past eight
• 1:42:30
  Speaker 1: days basically attached at the hip. I don't know if
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 1: you remember Pachelor Paradise said in its entirety, but this
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 1: girl was like a piece of vel grow to me.
• 1:42:39
  Speaker 1: She was stuck on me. Uh, like Elmer Fudd's strongest
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 1: gripping glue. Yeah. She wouldn't leave you, You wouldn't leave
• 1:42:46
  Speaker 1: me alone obsessed. They say, yes, they absolutely do say that,
• 1:42:50
  Speaker 1: and it's accurate. It's accurate. Um. It was hard to
• 1:42:53
  Speaker 1: go from that eight days, twenty four hours a day
• 1:42:55
  Speaker 1: to being around this person who I like, actually genuinely
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 1: enjoyed hanging Like. It wasn't this weird like me convincing
• 1:43:01
  Speaker 1: myself that I enjoyed spending time with this person. It
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 1: was like I actually genuinely like enjoyed it. And there
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 1: wasn't really like many lapses in conversation, and when there was,
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 1: it felt natural, it felt normal, you know. Um. And
• 1:43:10
  Speaker 1: then I left and I I got to thinking. I
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 1: was like, well, I could wait until Bachelor Paradise has
• 1:43:16
  Speaker 1: done filming and like just text her and like ask
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 1: her if she has the time to talk to me,
• 1:43:22
  Speaker 1: and like see if we can figure this out off camera.
• 1:43:24
  Speaker 1: Like there's less risk that way because I'm not putting
• 1:43:27
  Speaker 1: myself out there so publicly again. But also I knew
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 1: that she was really liked Connor and she was really
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 1: interested in meeting him, So I was like, well, like
• 1:43:34
  Speaker 1: the more I dwelt on it and actually called the
• 1:43:36
  Speaker 1: cup of my Friends, I was like what should I do.
• 1:43:38
  Speaker 1: None of them were supportive of me going back, by
• 1:43:39
  Speaker 1: the way, but I knew that like if I had
• 1:43:43
  Speaker 1: if I didn't go back, she would have left the
• 1:43:45
  Speaker 1: beach more more likely than not in a relationship with Connor,
• 1:43:48
  Speaker 1: and then I would be infringing upon that relationship at
• 1:43:51
  Speaker 1: the time, and it would eventually become public when they
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 1: left the beach together when the show aired. So I
• 1:43:56
  Speaker 1: was like, this girl is great. She's gonna get swooped
• 1:43:59
  Speaker 1: up sooner rather and later. If I don't go back now,
• 1:44:01
  Speaker 1: I'm probably never gonna have a chance to see if
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 1: this would like actually work out. Um, So I fly back,
• 1:44:07
  Speaker 1: walked down to the beach, and yeah, I obviously things
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 1: went well for me. But that whole decision process, it
• 1:44:13
  Speaker 1: wasn't easy. Man. Like I talked to uh like Alex
• 1:44:16
  Speaker 1: and Mike, some of my best friends, and then I
• 1:44:17
  Speaker 1: came into the studio recorded a podcast like to Jared,
• 1:44:19
  Speaker 1: and Jared was actually one of the few that was
• 1:44:21
  Speaker 1: like super supportive of the idea and I'm glad I
• 1:44:25
  Speaker 1: did it. It was yeah, I don't know, it wasn't easy,
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 1: even like walking back down onto that beach that second time,
• 1:44:32
  Speaker 1: I was like, I almost like turned around a couple
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 1: of times. I almost like told the producers. I was like, look,
• 1:44:35
  Speaker 1: you know what, actually, on second thought, this is a
• 1:44:37
  Speaker 1: bad idea, Like let's let's not do this. Um but yeah,
• 1:44:41
  Speaker 1: and and you know, kind of to bring everything full circle,
• 1:44:43
  Speaker 1: like I'm sick of I'm sick of like running away
• 1:44:45
  Speaker 1: from all the problems in my life, like all the
• 1:44:47
  Speaker 1: bad things that happened to me. All I do is
• 1:44:48
  Speaker 1: like basically either run away from them, uh physically or
• 1:44:51
  Speaker 1: or figuratively in so many ways, and even like living
• 1:44:54
  Speaker 1: in a van you could look at is like me
• 1:44:56
  Speaker 1: literally physically running away from everything that's like important to
• 1:44:59
  Speaker 1: me or has value in my life. Um So coming
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 1: back down to the beach was kind of like a
• 1:45:03
  Speaker 1: symbolic version of me saying like, look, I'm gonna stop
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 1: running away from these things. I'm gonna stop like running
• 1:45:09
  Speaker 1: away from the good things in my life and figure
• 1:45:11
  Speaker 1: out exactly what I want to do and where I'm
• 1:45:14
  Speaker 1: gonna go. And I want you to be part of
• 1:45:16
  Speaker 1: that with me. And I'm grateful I did. I don't
• 1:45:20
  Speaker 1: think that she's upset that she did either. But it
• 1:45:23
  Speaker 1: wasn't easy. What was it about Klin, There's there's something
• 1:45:27
  Speaker 1: I've caught on here and I want to tell you,
• 1:45:30
  Speaker 1: tell me. I want you to tell me if I'm wrong.
• 1:45:32
  Speaker 1: Every other person you've dated in the Bachelor franchise, you've
• 1:45:35
  Speaker 1: explained the very first thing is a bit a physical compliment.
• 1:45:39
  Speaker 1: Klin is obviously gorgeous. It's not a secret to anybody.
• 1:45:42
  Speaker 1: But with Klin, your very first comment to her about
• 1:45:45
  Speaker 1: her is about who she is as a person. Do
• 1:45:49
  Speaker 1: you feel that change in yourself? Um, what I've experienced
• 1:45:53
  Speaker 1: in relationships is obviously I think the first thing that
• 1:45:56
  Speaker 1: brings us to like want to talk to someone is
• 1:45:58
  Speaker 1: a physical attraction, right, Like you see someone at the are,
• 1:46:00
  Speaker 1: Like even you with Jess Jes caught your eye on Instagram, right,
• 1:46:03
  Speaker 1: so you just got to go out of your way
• 1:46:04
  Speaker 1: to try to try and find it, get to know
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 1: her deeper. I don't think that's a bad thing to
• 1:46:08
  Speaker 1: be physically tracked to this someone off the bat. Um.
• 1:46:11
  Speaker 1: I think my kind of like Achilles heal and relationships
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 1: is I kind of let that override my other, um,
• 1:46:18
  Speaker 1: I guess way of thinking, and what I've like slowly
• 1:46:21
  Speaker 1: began to realize it's like I'm I'm this is gonna
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: sound kind of silly and maybe a little melodramatic. I'm like,
• 1:46:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like probably on the spectrum of a sexuality. Really,
• 1:46:32
  Speaker 1: I like, don't I'm not like motivated by sex, but
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 1: like the novelty of like meeting someone new and like
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 1: seeing if you can like kiss them or hook up
• 1:46:39
  Speaker 1: with them, Like that's exciting to me. Um. But like
• 1:46:42
  Speaker 1: if I date someone that's just just solely beautiful, and
• 1:46:44
  Speaker 1: like the main reason I'm dating dating them is beauty
• 1:46:47
  Speaker 1: that fades incredibly quickly. And I've experienced with Kalen is yes,
• 1:46:51
  Speaker 1: she's an incredibly beautiful person, but it's a lot more
• 1:46:55
  Speaker 1: than that, and like I can actually enjoy it. Like
• 1:46:56
  Speaker 1: I spent a lot of freaking time with this girl, right,
• 1:47:00
  Speaker 1: And there are times where I'm like I need to
• 1:47:02
  Speaker 1: get out of here, But it takes a lot longer
• 1:47:04
  Speaker 1: for me to get to that point than it has
• 1:47:05
  Speaker 1: for anyone in the past, where like I'm running from
• 1:47:08
  Speaker 1: these relationships, Like this is pret Kalin, I'm running from
• 1:47:11
  Speaker 1: these relationships, but I feel like I'm running from them
• 1:47:13
  Speaker 1: because I got into them for the wrong reason, you know,
• 1:47:15
  Speaker 1: like for some superficial, shallow reason. Um And what's nice
• 1:47:20
  Speaker 1: about obviously my relationship with Kalin is it goes a
• 1:47:22
  Speaker 1: little bit deeper than that, and there's like a little
• 1:47:24
  Speaker 1: bit more of I guess, like banter back and forth
• 1:47:28
  Speaker 1: that we're able to have. And so, yes, she is
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 1: a beautiful woman and I'm very lucky to be able
• 1:47:32
  Speaker 1: to call her my girlfriend. But it goes on, it
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 1: goes a lot deeper than just that physical beauty, which
• 1:47:37
  Speaker 1: I typically would place ahead or in the past had
• 1:47:39
  Speaker 1: placed ahead of, like a deeper connection I suppose. Yeah.
• 1:47:42
  Speaker 1: Then the thing with Klin is for at least the
• 1:47:45
  Speaker 1: time being no pressure on you, guys, um is that
• 1:47:48
  Speaker 1: when you do start to feel that like I need
• 1:47:50
  Speaker 1: to get out of here, which I get I feel
• 1:47:51
  Speaker 1: that too, right, I love my girlfriend, But it happens.
• 1:47:55
  Speaker 1: The interesting part is once you do leave and you
• 1:47:58
  Speaker 1: can collect your thoughts there, when I know it's right,
• 1:48:01
  Speaker 1: is there's an excitement tasso go back. Yeah it sucks. Yeah.
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 1: We just spent like nine days together in a row,
• 1:48:06
  Speaker 1: like literally every waking moment together and every unwaking moment,
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 1: like we started obviously in the same bed and everything,
• 1:48:13
  Speaker 1: and uh, I was like it was yesterday. I was like, dude,
• 1:48:17
  Speaker 1: I just gotta get the hell away from you for
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 1: a little bit, you know what I mean. So I
• 1:48:19
  Speaker 1: drove out to Paris. I wanted to skydive all day,
• 1:48:21
  Speaker 1: but the winds weren't didn't allow me to skydive, so
• 1:48:23
  Speaker 1: I basically it's like kind of hung around, like worked
• 1:48:25
  Speaker 1: on things like watching Netflix a little bit, watch football.
• 1:48:28
  Speaker 1: Then I was like like sorry language again, but like
• 1:48:30
  Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, I just want to
• 1:48:32
  Speaker 1: kind of want to get back and hang out with her,
• 1:48:33
  Speaker 1: you know what. Which is like it's it's a really
• 1:48:36
  Speaker 1: thing to feel, and it's a really weird feeling because
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 1: I haven't felt it many times in my life. Yeah,
• 1:48:40
  Speaker 1: it's like it's like, dang it, like I I think
• 1:48:43
  Speaker 1: I've found something. Gosh, I've I've been really good at
• 1:48:48
  Speaker 1: running away and feeling like, oh yeah, I can't do
• 1:48:51
  Speaker 1: this is getting annoying, and then all of a sudden,
• 1:48:53
  Speaker 1: you found something that you're like, I kinda like it. Yeah,
• 1:48:57
  Speaker 1: And that was a big thing too, where it's like
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 1: a lot of the reason I wanted to live in
• 1:49:00
  Speaker 1: a van was because I wanted to experience ah, not
• 1:49:04
  Speaker 1: like individuality, but like seclude just like complete freedom and
• 1:49:08
  Speaker 1: every facet of the word. Right, that's what the appeal
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 1: of living in a van expressed. I thought of it, asked, well,
• 1:49:14
  Speaker 1: that was a weird way to say that sentence. Um.
• 1:49:16
  Speaker 1: And then so like the idea of a girlfriend kind
• 1:49:18
  Speaker 1: of is counterintuitive to that same idea. And so that's
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 1: why I left the beach in the first place, where
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 1: I was like, look, I have this very clear picture
• 1:49:25
  Speaker 1: of what I want to be doing for the next
• 1:49:26
  Speaker 1: whole months in my life, and that's completely not her
• 1:49:27
  Speaker 1: free You don't want to be able to drive where
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 1: I want to drive to. I want to be able
• 1:49:30
  Speaker 1: to skydive where I want a skydive, ski where I
• 1:49:32
  Speaker 1: want to ski, scoobaar where I want a scooba, etcetera, etcetera. Um,
• 1:49:35
  Speaker 1: And the idea of having a girlfriend is only going
• 1:49:38
  Speaker 1: to hinder that idea. And then so coming back, I
• 1:49:42
  Speaker 1: think like a lot of my reservations about coming back,
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 1: we're like, okay, well, like I'm still not gonna be
• 1:49:45
  Speaker 1: able to do those things. But what's great about Kalin
• 1:49:47
  Speaker 1: is she's very like supportive and encouraging of that, and
• 1:49:50
  Speaker 1: sometimes she's like, yeah, like I'm gonna come along with
• 1:49:52
  Speaker 1: you on this trip. Wherever you want to go. But
• 1:49:54
  Speaker 1: then she also like, tomorrow I leave for Pero Chico
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 1: for two weeks, and she's like, okay with me going
• 1:49:59
  Speaker 1: away for two week. Whether she has the option to
• 1:50:01
  Speaker 1: not be okay with it or not, maybe he's a
• 1:50:03
  Speaker 1: little bit for a debate, but the fact is she
• 1:50:05
  Speaker 1: like she's not making me hinder my explorative side of myself.
• 1:50:12
  Speaker 1: Like I feel like some relationships kind of like kind
• 1:50:14
  Speaker 1: of really back in a little bit, and she's just
• 1:50:17
  Speaker 1: as keen to get out there and do the things
• 1:50:19
  Speaker 1: that I want to do for the most part um
• 1:50:20
  Speaker 1: in terms of at least like going places. She's obviously
• 1:50:23
  Speaker 1: on board with a lot of that stuff. But uh, yeah,
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 1: it's it's it's a little different than past relationships. It's funny. Actually,
• 1:50:29
  Speaker 1: we were just talking the other day, uh and I
• 1:50:31
  Speaker 1: can't remember exactly the context that I came up in,
• 1:50:34
  Speaker 1: but we're talking about me. I shaved my legs for Halloween,
• 1:50:38
  Speaker 1: just as a as a beautiful girl for Halloween, most
• 1:50:41
  Speaker 1: beautiful girl I've ever seen, second most beautiful girl I
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 1: ever seen. And we're talking about shaving my leg hair
• 1:50:47
  Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, like this leg hair has
• 1:50:49
  Speaker 1: been with me my entire life. It's been with me
• 1:50:51
  Speaker 1: through good girlfriends and through bad girlfriends. And I was like, well,
• 1:50:53
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna shave it off and start over new
• 1:50:55
  Speaker 1: because I actually like my girlfriend for once. Not for once,
• 1:50:58
  Speaker 1: but like, you know what I mean, Like it's basically
• 1:51:00
  Speaker 1: like a fresh start of sorts in a weird leg
• 1:51:02
  Speaker 1: hair eccentric way up to the belly button. Um. I
• 1:51:05
  Speaker 1: actually I went about four inches down in my thigh.
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know why I didn't go all the way up,
• 1:51:08
  Speaker 1: but I just didn't feel right to go all the
• 1:51:09
  Speaker 1: way up. But yeah, it was like this weird Uh.
• 1:51:12
  Speaker 1: I had never really audibly said like like I like
• 1:51:16
  Speaker 1: my girlfriend more than I've liked a girlfriend in a
• 1:51:18
  Speaker 1: long time, you know what I mean? It was just
• 1:51:20
  Speaker 1: like a weird I don't know, like I didn't really
• 1:51:22
  Speaker 1: I don't think she registered it. I don't think I
• 1:51:23
  Speaker 1: really registered it. But for me to like say that
• 1:51:26
  Speaker 1: was just like a weird thing, you know what I mean?
• 1:51:29
  Speaker 1: What you mean, Yeah, to like say it and mean
• 1:51:31
  Speaker 1: it and feel The other day somebody asked me with
• 1:51:34
  Speaker 1: Jessica my dad did Actually he's like, so what do
• 1:51:38
  Speaker 1: you what's going on there? Like? Where is this gonna go,
• 1:51:41
  Speaker 1: I said, Dad. The craziest part about it is like
• 1:51:44
  Speaker 1: I have so much peace around this relationship, Like it's
• 1:51:47
  Speaker 1: exciting for me to say things like I like my girlfriend,
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 1: which hasn't happened many times in my life. It's not
• 1:51:53
  Speaker 1: the only time it's happened, it's not many. But the
• 1:51:56
  Speaker 1: thing with Jessica is like there is this like enormous
• 1:51:58
  Speaker 1: amount of piece that follows it that hasn't never been
• 1:52:00
  Speaker 1: the case. I thought it is too. And obviously, like
• 1:52:03
  Speaker 1: we have our differences, Calin and I, Um, she's a
• 1:52:07
  Speaker 1: little more traditional and a little bit less traditional of course,
• 1:52:11
  Speaker 1: but uh yeah, it's just it's a it's a it's
• 1:52:15
  Speaker 1: a nice feeling, Dean. You're in a relationship. Life has
• 1:52:20
  Speaker 1: changed for you since we were last introduced, first introduced
• 1:52:24
  Speaker 1: to you on The bachelorat have a few emails from
• 1:52:27
  Speaker 1: some of your biggest fans. They're not gonna be easy
• 1:52:29
  Speaker 1: to answer. And then I leave with this. In every
• 1:52:31
  Speaker 1: in depth episode we do this, we say, hey, Dean,
• 1:52:34
  Speaker 1: give us a message to send our listeners out on
• 1:52:36
  Speaker 1: because we've got to know you through this podcast. And
• 1:52:39
  Speaker 1: I think everybody's sitting around would say, yeah, we've got
• 1:52:41
  Speaker 1: to know Dean a little bit better today, Greed. All
• 1:52:44
  Speaker 1: the heads are shaking. Yeah, well, you guys know that
• 1:52:46
  Speaker 1: up about my testicles now, So I guess a little
• 1:52:49
  Speaker 1: bit at least Dean. Uh. This emails from Susan Soon says,
• 1:52:53
  Speaker 1: I was wondering how Dean feels about the way Rachel
• 1:52:55
  Speaker 1: has been talking about Klin without even meeting her the
• 1:52:59
  Speaker 1: Calan listen to his interview on The Rachel's podcast. What
• 1:53:02
  Speaker 1: were her thoughts? When does he think the two will
• 1:53:05
  Speaker 1: ever meet? Caitlin and Rachel have Matt post I think
• 1:53:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know, I don't I don't
• 1:53:11
  Speaker 1: really want to have much of an opinion on this.
• 1:53:13
  Speaker 1: I don't think I don't need to. Okay, cool, if
• 1:53:16
  Speaker 1: you don't want to, you don't need to. I think
• 1:53:18
  Speaker 1: my girlfriend's great, and I think that's really all that
• 1:53:20
  Speaker 1: matters as it pertains to the relationship, and I think
• 1:53:23
  Speaker 1: Rachel should focus on her relationship. Next emails from Vanessa
• 1:53:27
  Speaker 1: not the Vanessa we know. Back during Courtland's season, there
• 1:53:30
  Speaker 1: was dramas f ending Klin's slighting into Dean's d m
• 1:53:33
  Speaker 1: s and not being there for the right reasons. Is
• 1:53:36
  Speaker 1: it ironic? That the next chance she gets to date him,
• 1:53:39
  Speaker 1: they walk off on the show together. Was this a
• 1:53:41
  Speaker 1: red flag for Dean? Knowing that she was cast for
• 1:53:44
  Speaker 1: Colton season while interested in you. Also, the timeline of
• 1:53:47
  Speaker 1: Kalin's being in a relationship with Blake doesn't add up
• 1:53:50
  Speaker 1: because she was in talks to be the potential bach
• 1:53:53
  Speaker 1: of that. So if that were true, there's no reason
• 1:53:54
  Speaker 1: why she would be committed in a committed relationship with
• 1:53:57
  Speaker 1: Blake like she told people in Paradise. Was a red
• 1:54:00
  Speaker 1: flag for you, Dean? Um No, I don't think that
• 1:54:03
  Speaker 1: really made much sense. Uh, Klin was cast for Colton season. Yes,
• 1:54:10
  Speaker 1: I think that you're allowed to have a crush on
• 1:54:12
  Speaker 1: someone and then also you're allowed to go and date
• 1:54:15
  Speaker 1: someone else too. I don't think there's much issue with that.
• 1:54:17
  Speaker 1: I will say I'm gonna speak on Kalin's behalf. She
• 1:54:19
  Speaker 1: wanted Jason Tardick to be the Bachelor, and she's she
• 1:54:21
  Speaker 1: went on Colton season. I don't think that's an issue either.
• 1:54:23
  Speaker 1: It's not like I need someone to be like, I've
• 1:54:25
  Speaker 1: only had eyes for you since the day that I
• 1:54:26
  Speaker 1: was born. Like, she's a free woman to do what
• 1:54:29
  Speaker 1: she wants. It's like, um, the blake stuff. Man, that
• 1:54:32
  Speaker 1: stuff has been beaten like a dead horse, like a
• 1:54:34
  Speaker 1: dead horse? Is it like a dead horse's been beaten
• 1:54:36
  Speaker 1: to death? Um? And I don't think we really need
• 1:54:39
  Speaker 1: to talk about that anymore. I would agree, So here's
• 1:54:41
  Speaker 1: a truth to it. In summary, Dean and Kalin are together.
• 1:54:46
  Speaker 1: Things are going well. You were the hard emails you
• 1:54:48
  Speaker 1: were telling about. I feel like there has to be
• 1:54:49
  Speaker 1: something harder than that. No, that's pretty hard, especially hard
• 1:54:53
  Speaker 1: because Kalin's in the room. I know, I know you're right. Um, okay, Dean,
• 1:55:00
  Speaker 1: this is the end of the in depth episode one
• 1:55:03
  Speaker 1: that we were very thankful that you came on. Thank
• 1:55:05
  Speaker 1: you first off for coming on here and sharing, um
• 1:55:08
  Speaker 1: who you are with us, allowing us to to fill
• 1:55:10
  Speaker 1: in the gaps of where we might have missed it
• 1:55:12
  Speaker 1: during your time on The Bachelor, I think hopefully, And
• 1:55:16
  Speaker 1: tell me if I'm wrong. These podcasts help give a
• 1:55:18
  Speaker 1: clearer picture of who Dean is. Um. Yeah, what's funnybout
• 1:55:22
  Speaker 1: a podcast to me? Is I always I don't always
• 1:55:24
  Speaker 1: listen to them back, but sometimes I listen back to
• 1:55:26
  Speaker 1: a podcast that either I was on or a friend
• 1:55:28
  Speaker 1: of mine was on. And I'll always like look back
• 1:55:31
  Speaker 1: and be like, well, I wish we would have dived
• 1:55:33
  Speaker 1: into this a little bit deeper or went down this
• 1:55:35
  Speaker 1: alley a little bit longer kind of thing. Um. And
• 1:55:38
  Speaker 1: I'm sure like if I listened to this podcast back,
• 1:55:41
  Speaker 1: I might obviously not because it's kind of embarrassing for
• 1:55:44
  Speaker 1: me in a lot of ways. I hope that I
• 1:55:46
  Speaker 1: don't feel that way. I don't expect to. UM. Whenever
• 1:55:50
  Speaker 1: you like think about your story to yourself and for
• 1:55:53
  Speaker 1: whatever reason you're doing it, you always like kind of
• 1:55:55
  Speaker 1: plan the things that you want to talk about and
• 1:55:57
  Speaker 1: like what you want to touch on. And I I
• 1:56:00
  Speaker 1: feel like obviously conversation flows ebbs and flows and doesn't
• 1:56:02
  Speaker 1: necessarily allow at all times. But I think that this
• 1:56:04
  Speaker 1: was really good and I think that you did a
• 1:56:05
  Speaker 1: great job of navigating the conversation. You got the ball
• 1:56:09
  Speaker 1: story out of me for the first time in public
• 1:56:11
  Speaker 1: that's ever happened. That's that's a big one. And I
• 1:56:14
  Speaker 1: thought about every every platform that I would have had
• 1:56:16
  Speaker 1: to share that story. I never never expected it to
• 1:56:19
  Speaker 1: be this, but you did a fantastic job. You made
• 1:56:21
  Speaker 1: me feel comfortable, You made me feel like I was
• 1:56:23
  Speaker 1: at home, So I appreciate that, But is there anything
• 1:56:27
  Speaker 1: right now that you do look back on during this
• 1:56:29
  Speaker 1: and you're like, I wish you would have gone deeper. Um,
• 1:56:33
  Speaker 1: I'm grateful that we didn't go deeper on Bachelor Winter Games.
• 1:56:38
  Speaker 1: I'm grateful that The thing about all these stories, right
• 1:56:43
  Speaker 1: is that there whatever I say, whatever story I share,
• 1:56:47
  Speaker 1: it's never going to be the full truth, whether I
• 1:56:49
  Speaker 1: think it is or not, it's never gonna be a
• 1:56:51
  Speaker 1: h percent accurate. And so it just doesn't necessarily make
• 1:56:54
  Speaker 1: sense to kind of go into a lot of like
• 1:56:55
  Speaker 1: the he said, she said type of stuff because it's
• 1:56:57
  Speaker 1: never gonna be right. And so I appreciate that we
• 1:57:00
  Speaker 1: didn't dwell on that stuff very long because my experience
• 1:57:03
  Speaker 1: with Bachelor in Paradise is my experience and everyone else's
• 1:57:07
  Speaker 1: is everyone else's. So it's just like it's kind of
• 1:57:09
  Speaker 1: a challenging thing to navigate when you want to open
• 1:57:12
  Speaker 1: up about it, And like, I don't want to put
• 1:57:13
  Speaker 1: anyone in blast ever either, so like, while you're trying
• 1:57:16
  Speaker 1: to be respectful of their privacy, you also want to
• 1:57:19
  Speaker 1: share your side of the story, even though you know
• 1:57:21
  Speaker 1: that that's maybe not exactly Like if you were to
• 1:57:23
  Speaker 1: go with a third party objective view to that stuff,
• 1:57:25
  Speaker 1: like maybe you would see things a little bit differently.
• 1:57:27
  Speaker 1: So it's just always like a weird, challenging dynamic. But UM,
• 1:57:30
  Speaker 1: I don't think that we could have gone deeper into
• 1:57:33
  Speaker 1: anything than we did. I I am a little upset that. Um.
• 1:57:40
  Speaker 1: We talked a little bit about how there were only
• 1:57:44
  Speaker 1: a few moments that I were to show emotion during
• 1:57:45
  Speaker 1: this podcast that you said because I wanted to show more,
• 1:57:48
  Speaker 1: and I do want to show more, and I obviously
• 1:57:50
  Speaker 1: you know, we've we've gotten there a couple of times
• 1:57:52
  Speaker 1: as friends. But it's kind of, I guess hard to
• 1:57:54
  Speaker 1: be like that performative and be like, let's dive into
• 1:57:57
  Speaker 1: this and like let's get super emotional about it, especially
• 1:57:59
  Speaker 1: when with it when it comes to things like talking
• 1:58:01
  Speaker 1: about my mother passing away or Hunter or Alex. It's
• 1:58:04
  Speaker 1: kind of gotten to the point where I've just began
• 1:58:06
  Speaker 1: to recite like a script in my head. You know
• 1:58:08
  Speaker 1: what I mean. You you explain it enough times, you
• 1:58:10
  Speaker 1: basically just spit out the facts as quickly as you
• 1:58:12
  Speaker 1: can and then you hope to move on to the
• 1:58:14
  Speaker 1: next topic. And this was it was that, but it
• 1:58:18
  Speaker 1: was like a maybe a more water down version of
• 1:58:20
  Speaker 1: that where we would do a little bit deeper into
• 1:58:22
  Speaker 1: which I appreciate, but I still feel like there were
• 1:58:24
  Speaker 1: times where I was kind of like going into autopilot
• 1:58:26
  Speaker 1: mode and just like saying things that I've said a
• 1:58:27
  Speaker 1: thousand times, you know what I mean, And so I'll
• 1:58:30
  Speaker 1: if I were to listen back to this, I would
• 1:58:32
  Speaker 1: I would probably be critical of myself for not being
• 1:58:35
  Speaker 1: more I guess, like spontaneous with my emotions and like
• 1:58:39
  Speaker 1: figuring out exactly what might have been causing those like
• 1:58:43
  Speaker 1: words that I was saying, you know, And and I
• 1:58:46
  Speaker 1: don't know how to respond to that, because I feel
• 1:58:48
  Speaker 1: like it's it is one of the detriments to doing
• 1:58:51
  Speaker 1: a having a public life at any level is you
• 1:58:54
  Speaker 1: get asked about the things that have been most pivotal
• 1:58:56
  Speaker 1: in your story, like a mother passing or a best
• 1:58:59
  Speaker 1: friend passing, and you could ask about it so consistently
• 1:59:02
  Speaker 1: even today, like different thing. But for me, some pivotal
• 1:59:05
  Speaker 1: points in my life are my times in Hohnderous and
• 1:59:07
  Speaker 1: like my relationship with Lauren. I just did a press
• 1:59:10
  Speaker 1: to her today and I was asked about Lauren getting
• 1:59:11
  Speaker 1: married on every single one of my stops, like that's
• 1:59:16
  Speaker 1: my ex who I spent two years of my life with,
• 1:59:18
  Speaker 1: who like has held a big piece of my heart
• 1:59:20
  Speaker 1: for a while. Or your your mother who has a
• 1:59:23
  Speaker 1: huge role in your life, but you talk about it
• 1:59:25
  Speaker 1: so consistently that you've become numb to the answers and
• 1:59:27
  Speaker 1: it does become routine, and it's scary. It's scary, but
• 1:59:31
  Speaker 1: it's also healthy because I know that in my own
• 1:59:35
  Speaker 1: time there is a deep sensitivity and caring for those
• 1:59:41
  Speaker 1: moments that like I can't highlight publicly because I just
• 1:59:44
  Speaker 1: I do I turn into a robot. Well, and also
• 1:59:46
  Speaker 1: think about it this way, like in my case, what
• 1:59:49
  Speaker 1: would it be like if every time someone asked me
• 1:59:51
  Speaker 1: to talk about my mother, like I broke down and
• 1:59:52
  Speaker 1: started crying, you know what I mean? Like that just
• 1:59:53
  Speaker 1: doesn't really seem healthy. I don't know, but maybe it is.
• 1:59:58
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's not. I don't know. I don't know exactly.
• 1:59:59
  Speaker 1: It's just that's like, like like you said, you kind
• 2:00:02
  Speaker 1: of become numb to it and you just basically recite
• 2:00:03
  Speaker 1: the things that you've learned to recite just so you
• 2:00:05
  Speaker 1: can kind of either a get off a topic you're
• 2:00:07
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable talking about and move on to something else. Or
• 2:00:10
  Speaker 1: for whatever other reason. I don't know, Dean, Um close
• 2:00:15
  Speaker 1: out here. Thirty second message to our listeners before we do,
• 2:00:19
  Speaker 1: Ashley has written some rapid fire questions for you. We're
• 2:00:22
  Speaker 1: gonna bring on Bob Dalton at the end of the podcast.
• 2:00:24
  Speaker 1: But thirty second message to our listeners of who you're becoming,
• 2:00:28
  Speaker 1: who you want to be, and how they can live
• 2:00:33
  Speaker 1: their best life. Wow, best life? That's a good one. Um.
• 2:00:36
  Speaker 1: Who am I becoming? I think every day I grew
• 2:00:38
  Speaker 1: up to hopefully become a better version of myself. I
• 2:00:41
  Speaker 1: don't really know. This is kind of a weird thirty
• 2:00:42
  Speaker 1: second segment. Um. If you're listening to this, be sure
• 2:00:45
  Speaker 1: to listen to help I second dating on I Heart Radio. Also,
• 2:00:48
  Speaker 1: if you're listening to this. A big thing that people
• 2:00:50
  Speaker 1: reach out to me often about on Instagram is about
• 2:00:53
  Speaker 1: the traveling that I do. And I think that I've
• 2:00:54
  Speaker 1: learned a lot about myself through the travels that I've done,
• 2:00:57
  Speaker 1: both by myself and with friends and significant others. Um.
• 2:01:01
  Speaker 1: And if you're ever questioning whether you should do something
• 2:01:03
  Speaker 1: along those lines, I fully support it and encourage you
• 2:01:05
  Speaker 1: to do it because I've learned a lot about myself.
• 2:01:07
  Speaker 1: I've gained, uh, I would say almost all the confidence
• 2:01:10
  Speaker 1: I have nowadays. It's just through traveling, especially as of lately,
• 2:01:14
  Speaker 1: by myself with my friends, and it's invaluable experience and
• 2:01:18
  Speaker 1: it's incredibly fun. Be sure to check out my website
• 2:01:21
  Speaker 1: www dot Danie babies dot com. I'm writing about my
• 2:01:24
  Speaker 1: travels a little bit more, and I want to be
• 2:01:28
  Speaker 1: able to share with you kind of like the nitty
• 2:01:29
  Speaker 1: gritty side of traveling, not really like the puffed up
• 2:01:32
  Speaker 1: like I share about my costs and my planning and
• 2:01:35
  Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff, And I kind of want
• 2:01:37
  Speaker 1: to shed some light on that side of things to
• 2:01:39
  Speaker 1: hopefully allow you to understand it better to be able
• 2:01:41
  Speaker 1: to do it yourself, because it's changed me a lot
• 2:01:43
  Speaker 1: as a human. So that's it. So where can they
• 2:01:46
  Speaker 1: find the blog? Danny Babies dot com, Deanie babies dot
• 2:01:49
  Speaker 1: com Coming at you, Dean, send us out here. Ashley's
• 2:01:52
  Speaker 1: Rapid Fire Questions TV show You're loving right now? Oh,
• 2:01:57
  Speaker 1: living with yourself? You can only have one of these
• 2:01:59
  Speaker 1: two paste floss soap. Which one do you pick? Oh
• 2:02:02
  Speaker 1: Man toothpaste artists? You want to have play at your wedding?
• 2:02:09
  Speaker 1: Oh John Craigy good choice. Wind to know. I just
• 2:02:12
  Speaker 1: saw him live, did you? Oh? Yeah? Love? John Grady,
• 2:02:17
  Speaker 1: that's I like that about you? Hey, celebrity crush Kaylyn
• 2:02:20
  Speaker 1: Miller Keys can't choose her, Jamie Chunk not surprised, Jared
• 2:02:28
  Speaker 1: or Nick? Jared and Nick. I don't know. Ben, that's
• 2:02:33
  Speaker 1: a messed up question that you can only listen to
• 2:02:37
  Speaker 1: one of these bands forever. Which one do you pick?
• 2:02:39
  Speaker 1: In sink Backstreet Boys or Jonas Brothers. I'll go deaf,
• 2:02:42
  Speaker 1: thank you very much. And this one is easy. Which
• 2:02:46
  Speaker 1: one did you rather give up? Drinking or traveling? Drinking?
• 2:02:49
  Speaker 1: Dean and Glared everybody, it's holiday season. We're up in flying, driving,
• 2:03:00
  Speaker 1: We're playing strains, automobiles, walking. I don't know what you
• 2:03:04
  Speaker 1: wanna do. You can do a lot of things during
• 2:03:06
  Speaker 1: your travel, but make sure you've got a bag to
• 2:03:09
  Speaker 1: go with it. Away luggage. This luggage is for modern travel.
• 2:03:14
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• 2:03:18
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• 2:03:22
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• 2:03:26
  Speaker 1: is now picking up and he's going to Mexico for
• 2:03:28
  Speaker 1: two weeks. I'm on a flight again tomorrow. Things happen
• 2:03:31
  Speaker 1: in life that you just you gotta move and groove
• 2:03:34
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• 2:03:38
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• 2:05:00
  Speaker 1: code famous during checkup. You heard us talk about it
• 2:05:07
  Speaker 1: many times before. Just for a little reminder, two years ago,
• 2:05:12
  Speaker 1: I started on a journey with a few my buddy
• 2:05:13
  Speaker 1: starting a company called Generous International. I'm not gonna bore
• 2:05:16
  Speaker 1: you with it because if you're a fan of the show,
• 2:05:17
  Speaker 1: you've probably heard it many times before. But Generous sells coffee,
• 2:05:21
  Speaker 1: t shirts, bracelets, mugs, other products with stories behind them,
• 2:05:24
  Speaker 1: and we donate the profits of them back to nonprofits,
• 2:05:28
  Speaker 1: social causes, etcetera that are making UH life change in
• 2:05:34
  Speaker 1: the world. So it's fighting human injustice that are affecting humans.
• 2:05:37
  Speaker 1: And here right now, we're partnering with a campaign with
• 2:05:41
  Speaker 1: Sackcloth and Ashes. Uh. Sackcloth and Nashes is a blanket
• 2:05:44
  Speaker 1: company that is a give one. How would you explain
• 2:05:49
  Speaker 1: that bob by one give one model? Is that what
• 2:05:51
  Speaker 1: you call that give one local local model. Uh, we're
• 2:05:54
  Speaker 1: partnering Sackcloth and Nash is because for every blanket you
• 2:05:57
  Speaker 1: buy between October through October a blink, it will be
• 2:06:03
  Speaker 1: donated to your local homeless shelter. Along with you will
• 2:06:07
  Speaker 1: receive a twelve ounce bag of coffee and the proceeds
• 2:06:11
  Speaker 1: will be donated to the l A Mission. And right now,
• 2:06:15
  Speaker 1: my good buddy, one of my greatest friends, one of
• 2:06:17
  Speaker 1: my newest friends, Bob Dalton, is in studio talking to
• 2:06:20
  Speaker 1: us about the campaign right now. Bob, obviously I know
• 2:06:25
  Speaker 1: uh the story behind sack Cloth and Nashes. But for
• 2:06:27
  Speaker 1: the listeners out there that do not, um, why was
• 2:06:30
  Speaker 1: sack Claus started? Yeah, So I launched the company five
• 2:06:34
  Speaker 1: years ago and it was inspired by my mom who
• 2:06:36
  Speaker 1: ended up living on the streets for a short period
• 2:06:39
  Speaker 1: of time, and it completely changed my paradigm of how
• 2:06:43
  Speaker 1: I view and understand homelessness because I was always the
• 2:06:45
  Speaker 1: guy that would drive by people on the street and
• 2:06:47
  Speaker 1: whisper under my breath, go get a job. And she
• 2:06:50
  Speaker 1: ended up in that situation and it um changed my paradigm.
• 2:06:53
  Speaker 1: Because she has two college degrees, she raised my sister
• 2:06:55
  Speaker 1: and I by herself. She's the hardest working woman I know,
• 2:06:58
  Speaker 1: and so the idea that she would end up in
• 2:07:01
  Speaker 1: that situation, it inspired me to call my local Homo
• 2:07:04
  Speaker 1: shelters and ask what they needed, and they all said blankets.
• 2:07:07
  Speaker 1: And I was familiar with the one for one model,
• 2:07:09
  Speaker 1: but I felt like the evolution to the one for
• 2:07:11
  Speaker 1: one model was to evolve it and make it local
• 2:07:14
  Speaker 1: and um giving people all around the United States an
• 2:07:17
  Speaker 1: opportunity to make a difference down the street from where
• 2:07:19
  Speaker 1: they live. And so I came up with the idea
• 2:07:22
  Speaker 1: that for every blanket purchased, will donate a blanket to
• 2:07:24
  Speaker 1: that person's local Homer shelters. So if you live in Austin, Texas,
• 2:07:28
  Speaker 1: and you buy a blanket, will send a blanket to
• 2:07:29
  Speaker 1: a Homo shelter in Austin. If you live in Nashville, Tennessee,
• 2:07:32
  Speaker 1: and you buy a blanket, will send a blanket to
• 2:07:34
  Speaker 1: a shelter in Nashville. And the whole concept was, let's
• 2:07:37
  Speaker 1: empower people to make a difference in their local communities
• 2:07:40
  Speaker 1: to help an issue that is in all of our backyards.
• 2:07:43
  Speaker 1: You actually brought in I think two blankets from Market
• 2:07:45
  Speaker 1: Easton to day. You want to pass those out real quick, Yeah,
• 2:07:47
  Speaker 1: that'd be great. Check these out as we're talking. H Yeah,
• 2:07:53
  Speaker 1: we're passing on the blankets right now. Um for Mark
• 2:07:55
  Speaker 1: and Easton take home, keep cuttle up with tonight with
• 2:07:58
  Speaker 1: their their lovely wives. Easton has the biggest malea space.
• 2:08:02
  Speaker 1: There's that one man that loves getting gifts more than Easton.
• 2:08:07
  Speaker 1: Um Bob as as they opened up these gifts here,
• 2:08:09
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to you a little bit. Then
• 2:08:12
  Speaker 1: you see a need, Um, you hear a need from
• 2:08:15
  Speaker 1: the local shelters. You start this blanket company, and then
• 2:08:18
  Speaker 1: what is the story of sackcloth and ash has been?
• 2:08:20
  Speaker 1: Because that's where it starts, but it's definitely not There's
• 2:08:25
  Speaker 1: a lot that's happened to get you to this place
• 2:08:26
  Speaker 1: where you are now. Yeah. So the quick overview is
• 2:08:30
  Speaker 1: I launched the company with a sewing machine and a
• 2:08:32
  Speaker 1: roll of fabric from Joe Ann's Fabric and shout out
• 2:08:35
  Speaker 1: to Joe Ann's. I still get the discount codes on
• 2:08:37
  Speaker 1: my phone, and I realized really quickly that I can't sew,
• 2:08:41
  Speaker 1: and so I found a lady in my community that could.
• 2:08:44
  Speaker 1: So she started making me blankets. I'd box them up,
• 2:08:47
  Speaker 1: started driving up and down the Oregon coast and getting
• 2:08:50
  Speaker 1: into as many shops as I could. And my only
• 2:08:52
  Speaker 1: business strategy was post on Instagram once a day. So
• 2:08:55
  Speaker 1: I'm posting on Instagram. This is back in two thousand
• 2:08:57
  Speaker 1: fourteen when Instagram was just at the early stages of
• 2:09:00
  Speaker 1: kind of at the bottom of the wave. November of
• 2:09:03
  Speaker 1: two thousand fourteen, five months into business, Instagram emailed me
• 2:09:07
  Speaker 1: and they're like, Bob, we love your story, we love
• 2:09:09
  Speaker 1: what you're doing. We want to feature you on Instagram's
• 2:09:11
  Speaker 1: Instagram account. And that was kind of our kickstarter. That
• 2:09:14
  Speaker 1: was our big break as a company. They post about us,
• 2:09:16
  Speaker 1: we go out to forty two million people and we
• 2:09:19
  Speaker 1: grew like twenty thousand followers overnight. Ultimately, what that did
• 2:09:23
  Speaker 1: was it gave us the ability to work with pretty
• 2:09:25
  Speaker 1: much any content creator on Instagram. So there was a
• 2:09:28
  Speaker 1: time like two thousand fourteen, two thousand fifteen, I was
• 2:09:30
  Speaker 1: working with over a hundred influencers at one time and
• 2:09:33
  Speaker 1: just built the brand on social media for the first
• 2:09:35
  Speaker 1: four years. Two thousand eighteen, we launched our first major
• 2:09:39
  Speaker 1: campaign called Blanket the United States, where our goal is
• 2:09:42
  Speaker 1: to donate one million blankets a home of shelters by
• 2:09:45
  Speaker 1: two thousand twenty four and we're gonna do that by
• 2:09:47
  Speaker 1: partnering with people individually who buy a blanket from our
• 2:09:50
  Speaker 1: website will send a blanket to their local home of shelter.
• 2:09:52
  Speaker 1: And we're gonna do that by partnering with companies that
• 2:09:55
  Speaker 1: want to give gifts to their employees of their customers.
• 2:09:57
  Speaker 1: They can now give a blanket as a gift and
• 2:09:59
  Speaker 1: make it difference in their local home and shelters. So
• 2:10:01
  Speaker 1: it's answering a huge question for tons of corporations around
• 2:10:04
  Speaker 1: the United States that are like, how can we make
• 2:10:06
  Speaker 1: a difference in our local communities. You can now give
• 2:10:08
  Speaker 1: a blanket as a gift and make a difference in
• 2:10:10
  Speaker 1: your local community. So what that's done is it's opened
• 2:10:12
  Speaker 1: up the door for us to work with organizations all
• 2:10:14
  Speaker 1: around the United States and partner with people like ben
• 2:10:18
  Speaker 1: UH to run a specific awareness campaigns to bring exposure
• 2:10:23
  Speaker 1: and light to organizations that are actually doing really good
• 2:10:27
  Speaker 1: work on a grassroots level. It's you know, for anybody
• 2:10:30
  Speaker 1: out there listening, Cyclous nash Is has quickly become one
• 2:10:33
  Speaker 1: of the most UM prominent for purpose companies UH in
• 2:10:38
  Speaker 1: the US, and UH and obviously Generous is working really hard.
• 2:10:42
  Speaker 1: UM to continue to do good as well. You know,
• 2:10:45
  Speaker 1: for somebody like Sackcloth, Nash's who have. You have a platform,
• 2:10:50
  Speaker 1: you have a product, things are going well, Why do
• 2:10:52
  Speaker 1: you partner with a company like Generous? I just had
• 2:10:55
  Speaker 1: a lot of respect for you personally, because, you know,
• 2:10:59
  Speaker 1: anybody that gains following really quick, it's really fascinating to
• 2:11:02
  Speaker 1: see what they ultimately do with that platform. And I
• 2:11:05
  Speaker 1: had a lot of respect for you because you actually
• 2:11:07
  Speaker 1: use your platform to start something from the ground up.
• 2:11:10
  Speaker 1: And you know, I just have respect for anybody that's
• 2:11:13
  Speaker 1: out there trying to start something from the ground up.
• 2:11:15
  Speaker 1: Is entrepreneurship is incredibly difficult and eight percent of the
• 2:11:18
  Speaker 1: time doesn't work out. So the fact that you use
• 2:11:21
  Speaker 1: the platform that you had to actually start something from
• 2:11:23
  Speaker 1: the ground up, and specifically start something from the ground
• 2:11:26
  Speaker 1: up that actually is making a difference, that's what really
• 2:11:29
  Speaker 1: drew me to what you're doing. And you know, I'm
• 2:11:32
  Speaker 1: a fan, I'm I'm a supporter of anybody out there
• 2:11:34
  Speaker 1: that's actually showing up and trying to make stuff happen
• 2:11:36
  Speaker 1: like that. And so yeah, it's been a privilege to
• 2:11:40
  Speaker 1: be able to partner with you in Generous and being
• 2:11:42
  Speaker 1: able to do this specific campaign. Yeah, well it sounds
• 2:11:45
  Speaker 1: like I just teed myself up for a really nice
• 2:11:46
  Speaker 1: compliment there. Um, that's not you know, I think Bob
• 2:11:50
  Speaker 1: and I have gotten along really well because I think
• 2:11:51
  Speaker 1: generous mission to donate profits back to and kind of
• 2:11:54
  Speaker 1: be the engine that fuels nonprofits. They're trying to make
• 2:11:57
  Speaker 1: life change and Sackcloth and Nash is a mission to
• 2:12:00
  Speaker 1: blank the US and to help um people without homes
• 2:12:05
  Speaker 1: feel known, be loved and have that blanket. Uh. As
• 2:12:08
  Speaker 1: we close out here, Bob, you said something this morning
• 2:12:10
  Speaker 1: as we had coffee that I think, is it really
• 2:12:12
  Speaker 1: hits home for me? Um, because blankets are so much
• 2:12:17
  Speaker 1: more uh than just a material item to have in
• 2:12:20
  Speaker 1: the whole. Why was blankets and why has been blankets
• 2:12:22
  Speaker 1: been so important to you? Yeah, we kind of hit
• 2:12:24
  Speaker 1: the jackpot with blankets just because blankets was or is
• 2:12:28
  Speaker 1: a universal product. Everybody has blankets. Everybody deserves to have
• 2:12:32
  Speaker 1: a blanket, and blankets are an item of dignity and comfort,
• 2:12:35
  Speaker 1: you know, and and beyond that, ultimately, blankets have become
• 2:12:40
  Speaker 1: a third party object that's connecting me with people that
• 2:12:43
  Speaker 1: have incredible amount of resources and influence and companies that
• 2:12:47
  Speaker 1: have influence and connecting me with the organizations on a
• 2:12:51
  Speaker 1: ground level that are showing up every single day and
• 2:12:53
  Speaker 1: actually doing the work on a grassroots level, and I
• 2:12:56
  Speaker 1: get to be the bridge builder. The blankets become the
• 2:12:58
  Speaker 1: connector where I really get to have conversations with these
• 2:13:01
  Speaker 1: people that have resources and have a platform to bring
• 2:13:04
  Speaker 1: exposure and resources to the people that actually need it
• 2:13:07
  Speaker 1: right now. And the more that we focus on issues
• 2:13:10
  Speaker 1: in our society and our media, the more issues we create,
• 2:13:14
  Speaker 1: the more that we focus on solutions, the better society
• 2:13:17
  Speaker 1: we create. And so the blankets ultimately are creating an
• 2:13:20
  Speaker 1: opportunity for me to be able to use my platform
• 2:13:23
  Speaker 1: and invite other people to use their platform to highlight
• 2:13:26
  Speaker 1: solutions that are being created all around the United States
• 2:13:29
  Speaker 1: UM that are doing good work to help solve and
• 2:13:33
  Speaker 1: UM bring some aid to the issue of homelessness. So,
• 2:13:35
  Speaker 1: in summary, here's what's happening October through UM and we'll
• 2:13:40
  Speaker 1: probably let it run out a little bit longer UM.
• 2:13:42
  Speaker 1: So if you listen to this and you're like, oh,
• 2:13:44
  Speaker 1: it's the thirty feet, it's okay. You can still play UM.
• 2:13:47
  Speaker 1: Type in the code generous when you purchase a blanket
• 2:13:49
  Speaker 1: online at Sackcloth nashes dot com. With that, your local
• 2:13:53
  Speaker 1: homeless shelter will receive a blanket. Along with you will
• 2:13:57
  Speaker 1: receive a bag of Generous coffee and then the l
• 2:14:01
  Speaker 1: A Mission is going to receive twenty five of the
• 2:14:04
  Speaker 1: proceeds from this campaign. We've talked about it before and
• 2:14:09
  Speaker 1: I want to say it again. The only heroes in
• 2:14:11
  Speaker 1: this are the consumers, and so you have to purchase
• 2:14:14
  Speaker 1: to make this campaign successful. Uh, it's the holiday season.
• 2:14:17
  Speaker 1: These are great holiday gifts. Um. We're excited to be
• 2:14:21
  Speaker 1: doing this together. And thank you to I heart Fulness
• 2:14:24
  Speaker 1: come on and talk about it. And also thinks that
• 2:14:25
  Speaker 1: I heard for helping set up kind of the press
• 2:14:28
  Speaker 1: tour today. It's been a great day and I am
• 2:14:31
  Speaker 1: so excited to be able to partner with people like
• 2:14:33
  Speaker 1: Bob and his team at Sackcloth nash Is along with
• 2:14:36
  Speaker 1: Generous Um to make some life change happen, and we're
• 2:14:40
  Speaker 1: excited to do it with you. Also again, that's sack
• 2:14:41
  Speaker 1: Cloth Nash's dot com typing the code generous. Follow the
• 2:14:46
  Speaker 1: Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on iHeart Radio
• 2:14:49
  Speaker 1: or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.