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A LOVELY FAN LETTER "TONY, SWEET TONY" · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:07
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
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I'm your Hostess Mistress fan and today we're going to be
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reading some emails, which is you and me.
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For one. I must say thank you fans for
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all your support. We are now in 190 countries.
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My latest country is Andorra, so shout out to you again.
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I really appreciate all your love and support.
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I've received multiple emails, really lovely letters.
0:37
I'm, I'm always appreciative of that.
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And of course, anytime you want to check out my Patreon or
0:44
listen to my other podcast that is Mistress Mia's Bedtime
0:48
Stories. Today I'm actually going to be
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reading a e-mail from Tony. Tony's a gentleman we've spoken
0:56
about several times before. He is a married gentleman and he
1:02
has struggled before with doing poppers and fantasizing about by
1:08
experiences, gay men, etcetera. And there's been a lot of self
1:12
loathing. We've talked about this multiple
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times before on the podcast, but I always like to read his emails
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out because I think that one, I love Tony.
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Got to give you the shout out Tony, that we've never met.
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One day we will, and one day I'm still waiting to sit in a coffee
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shop with you and pee in your coffee cup.
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So he writes me. He's like, hello mistress.
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I've been thinking a lot about my sexuality lately,
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specifically about my history with men.
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I realized the other day that it's been almost 20 years since
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my first gay experience. I think about how reckless I
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was. I was a 17 year old meeting a 50
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something year old guy in a local AOL chat room, having him
2:00
pick me up in his car and bring me to his house and to suck my
2:04
first cock and to get my ass fucked for the very first time.
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I think about this guy a lot, maybe he was a bit of a predator
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being so much older and and me not being of age, but I really
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thank him honestly. He was patient with me and
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taught me a lot about gay cruising at bookstores and
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public bathrooms. That came in handy later.
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Lately, though, I find myself not really interested in men
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anymore. I mean, of course I still watch
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gay porn, that'll always be hot to me, but I haven't been with a
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guy since 2021, before I was married.
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There have been times lately where I go to the adult
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bookstore thinking maybe I'll just grab a quick blowjob, then
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when I get there I don't want to do anything.
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I just end up leaving. Back in the day I would have at
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least gotten my Dick sucked. Did I outgrow being bi?
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Or maybe my experimenting is done?
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I don't know honestly. But I feel different about it
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now for sure. Part of me will always be turned
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on to the thought of it. There is something so hot to me
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about getting on Grinder or other apps and seeing how close
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and easy it would be to get into something deviant.
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I think that's how I got turned on to men in the 1st place.
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It's so much easier to find cock and most tops are kind of
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dominant to begin with. So for a sub yearning to submit,
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it's kind of natural. Again, I've rambled with these
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things have been bouncing around my head.
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I hope you've had a great weekend in the dungeon.
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I hope all your Subs were respectful, clean and well
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behaved. All the best, Tony.
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Tony's awesome. So I responded to Tony.
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I said, my sweet Tony, in some things you've said in this
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e-mail, like quote UN quote, going on grinder and getting
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into something deviant. I think there's several aspects
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to this. For one, when you're younger you
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always feel like there's no restrictions and the rush of
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doing things are that much better.
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I think we're all dumb in our 20s.
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Now that you're married, you're probably more fulfilled.
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The only thing you've expressed to me that you're lacking is
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being submissive and needing to be dominated.
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Isn't that correct? So the other aspect is more than
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likely you've made peace in accepting your need for approval
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from men AKA your father subconsciously.
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And the last aspect is maybe you just don't want to hurt your
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wife in any way and if she were to find out.
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So you know your desires and our desires, they all change, we all
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grow. So it's OK either way.
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I think what you crave most is needing to be submissive.
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I ended the letter with tell me your thoughts Tony responded.
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Mia, I think you're right. I feel like younger me enjoy the
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thrill of doing these crazy things, having these dirty
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little secrets. Now I do think about my family a
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lot. There's so much more to lose
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than when I was younger. I do believe our desires change
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over time. There are things I'm into now
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that I was never into before. I find that very interesting.
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You are right, I do crave submission, being told what to
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do, being punished physically or verbally, but also the
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acknowledgement, taking the punishment and being told good
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boy or good pig. That always gets me.
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Thanks for helping me wrap myself around these thoughts.
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Like I said before, what you've said to me means a lot.
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Thanks again for being so kind and giving me your time.
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So I haven't written Tony back. I figured I would respond this
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way because Tony is an avid listener and I always appreciate
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his support in that. But to go back over his e-mail,
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you know, when we're young we do we do crazy things and we really
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have no regard. We threw all caution to the
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wind. Like remember having one night
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stands and leaving my door open and never meeting the person and
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having them come in and fuck me. So that in itself was wow, I
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would never even think right now to even do anything like that.
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So he has all these dirty secrets and the things that he's
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really been into here lately has been gas masks and poppers.
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And you know, like you said, he still watches gay porn.
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But what happens to us, Tony, when we evolve is, and I noticed
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this more with honestly, a lot of cross dressers.
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Cross dressers have to suppress themselves and their feelings
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because they can't seem less than to their partners.
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And I think that's the the saddest thing because you think,
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you know, if you're in a relationship with your partner,
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that you can tell them all these incredible things, you know,
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without fear of judgement. I know I have that relationship
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and, you know, I never had that before.
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So that's the thing. When we get into relationships,
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we have to get involved with people that we know are not
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going to judge us. I, I really, I don't know Tony's
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wife, but I would think that she would have an understanding
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heart and I think maybe she is more vanilla than Tony would
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like. But when suppressing your
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thoughts of wanting to do things further like cross dressers and
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like Tony, I notice it more with cross dressers.
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When you suppress the urge for so long, there's a point where
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you realize that your life is slipping by so quickly, and then
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you kind of start losing your grasp on what you could have
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been. And when you can't reach those
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ultimate goals of what you want, being a crossdresser or, you
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know, being completely bisexual and getting throat fucked, you
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want it more or you want things evolving around it that don't
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seem as bad. So Tony, you might not be able
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to have the urge to go and get throat fucked or get fucking
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gang banged or just have one cock in your ass.
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So you resort to playing with gas masks and poppers and doing
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these things that you know you know aren't going to hurt your
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marriage. You're playing the safe card.
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And sometimes playing that safe card is the best card to play.
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I'll tell you a little story. One of my friends, they went on
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grinder all the time, a cross dresser.
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And at the time when they would go on grinder they would either
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use cocaine or meth. And ultimately I would always
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say, look, your heart can only take so much.
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Your physical self can only take so much.
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Like you're already wrecking your mental health by using
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drugs, but you excel things worse when it comes to those
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types of drugs. They hurt your heart.
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Now I also said, when you get on grinder and you're doing these
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drugs, what do you do next? And he would say, well, you
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know, I leave my my front door unlocked and I'm already in
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bondage and I'm in bed and whoever comes in to fuck me
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comes in to fuck me. And I said, well, you're leaving
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yourself open to everything, being robbed, being raped, being
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killed or getting a disease that you're going to have to treat
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for the rest of your life or something even worse.
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And unfortunately, he ended up with syphilis and he was robbed
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and he ended up with a, a heart condition, a permanent heart
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condition. So sometimes safeguards are the
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best bet. And you know, Grinder, it's
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seedy. It really is.
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But you know, sometimes his lifestyle can be really seedy,
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especially when it has to be secretive.
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I think ultimately, Tony, I think that you need to be in
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search of a good Dom locally. As much as I would love to see
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you, distance is going to be an issue with both of us.
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So I think that you need to look for a good Dom, maybe even
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someone on Fetlife who would possibly be interested in just
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playing and, you know, keeping it very simple.
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Maybe someone who wants to explore being a Dom, but, you
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know, keep it within the boundaries of your marriage that
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you would feel comfortable, that you would feel comfortable with
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because you don't really want to do anything that's going to go
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outside of that perimeter. That would be something that
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would upset your wife later, you know, and you were talking about
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journaling. You know, if you're afraid of
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having a journal be found by your wife, there is a few
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different journaling apps and get on your phone, set it to a a
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private setting or a private icon and write it out on there.
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I you know, Liv would say it's always best to physically write
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things out because it gives you more self reflection.
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But this is just something that might have to work for you,
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especially if there's fear that you know your wife or someone
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else could find it later and there's proof of all of your,
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your deviant ways, as you would call them.
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You're not a deviant. You're just a guy who likes to
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explore. And that's what we do.
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We that's what we do in this lifestyle.
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And there's nothing wrong with exploration.
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Just keep it to where you respect yourself, you love
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yourself, and you're able to grow from a good experience and
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bad experiences. I think that if anyone ever
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wants to write and talk to me and you know, ask my advice, I'm
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more than happy to give it. I've had so many experiences
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over the years. There was a story I was going to
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tell you all was about this doctor that I knew in South
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Florida and a really great guy. I always liked him.
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But he moved from here to there and we've lost contact over the
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years. I got married.
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I'm sure he's moved on to other things as well.
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But at the time I knew he was very bisexual and we had gotten
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involved on some level, on a sexual level.
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And honestly, by men always make the best lovers.
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But I Tony, I know your weakness.
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I love watching gay porn. I can't help it.
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But I will say I think my mother has the same kink.
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She just doesn't want to admit it.
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But I think Brokeback Mountain's her favorite movie.
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But anyway, this very lovely doctor that I met years ago, he
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loved good Glory Halls. And I'm actually going to be
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doing a glory hole hypnosis on my other podcast called Mistress
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Mia's Bedtime Stories. And if those that are interested
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in hearing more about it, they can go on there and listen to
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what it would be like going to a glory hole.
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And I'm going to talk you through it.
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And that's exactly what I used to do with my doctor.
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He find it even more stimulating if I told him what to do and how
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to do it and how he would get really pumped up by calling me
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on his lunch break, that he would leave the hospital and go
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to the local glory hole and he would keep me on the phone so I
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can listen in and I would listen to him stop cock.
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It was fabulous. But you know, like I always say,
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photographs and memories. It was a great memory and I
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cherished all of those lovely phone calls.
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But you know, I always made him swallow too.
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I was just like, why bother with a condom?
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So, you know, you support these kind of things.
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You know, you take risks. We all take risks at everything
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we do, but sometimes it's more fun to have cum in your mouth
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and not so from one dirty girl to the next dirty girl.
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This is always interesting. But Tony, I'm always here to
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give you advice and I think the best advice is to really embrace
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your submissive side and thrall yourself into submission.
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Find a Dom that you can trust, whether it's professional or
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someone on Fetlife that wants just to be a part of the
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lifestyle to explore things with a good submissive boy like
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yourself. I think you should write your
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fantasies out of things you really want to fulfill.
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I was recently told the other day that I have literally
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fulfilled all of my Sissy slaves fantasies.
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And I've done that for a few people over the years.
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And you know, that's really what drives me to do the things that
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I do. I love to fulfill people's
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fantasies. It's such a an amazing feeling
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because it gives them such a Peace of Mind, this amazing
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euphoria that they can have these thoughts for so long over
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the years and then they finally get to do them.
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I know with my husband as well, I've done so many things with
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him over the years and you know, you always have to keep things
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fresh. And that's exactly why, you
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know, we want to explore more and why we branch off to other
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things. So why not do it?
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Just do things that aren't going to hurt anyone else or yourself.
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Just do things that feel good and make you happy.
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And that's what life is all about.
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So until then, my kinky friends, I love you all.
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Thank you again for all your support.
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So this has been the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.